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bethansfandoms · 3 years

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i keep seeing these and i just need more of it so Sirius is a youtuber au?

i literally read one of these the other day! how did you know?

sirius, or as he was known to the world,‘padfoot, was huge. he had a crazy amount of subscribers and his videos ranged from general chit chat to baking to gaming and, most famously, pranking fellow youtuber ‘prongs.’

people loved him. they loved his personality and his content and his appearance and his voice. everything. because he was so popular, sirius never could read every single comment, but he tried his best, and there was one that did catch his eye.

it was simply “day one of telling sirius that whoever edits his videos is awesome.” it had 50K likes.

part of the reason sirius’ posting schedule was so regular was because he didn’t edit his own stuff, he’d hired someoneto do it for him. his name was remus lupin, and this random commenter was correct, he was awesome.

the comments continued. sirius would look for it on every daily upload and there it was, always near the top. somebody commenting appreciation for sirius’ editor.

sirius and remus were friends. they weren’t super close, but they spent a lot of time together as sirius had an office for his ‘padfoot’ brand and he always filmed there, for privacy reasons more than anything. the computers in the office had all the equipment remus needed to edit and so they saw each other almost every day.

“have you seen this?” sirius asked casually, showing remus his phone. “day forty-two of telling sirius that who ever edits his videos is awesome.” 45K likes.

remus smiled, “ah, well, i do my best.”

“they’re right,” sirius responded, “i can’t really thank you enough for it. my videos would suck without you.”

remus rolled his eyes, “i am sure youtube’s heart-throb would do just fine in his own.”

sirius felt himself blush slightly. “yeah, well, glad the youtube comment section is appreciating what you’re doing as much as i am.”

it was next mentioned in a live stream. sirius read the comment and contemplated ignoring it but decided to read it out loud anyway. “sirius, expose your editing team.” he grinned. “not a team! just this one poor guy i’m afraid, i feel sorry for him.”

for some reason, it sent the comments off on a tangent. there were now numerous questions coming in and all of them about this editor. “can i get them on the live? ha, hold up.” remus was only in the room next door.

“remus!” he realised he’d just outed his name which the comments started freaking out about. “would you like to be on my live?”

remus walked away from his desk, laughing, and stayed just out of shot. “sorry, what?”

“the viewers want to meet my editor!”

remus sighed and awkwardly walked into frame. “how many people are watching?”

“only two million.”

“wish i’d known that or i probably wouldn’t have let two million people see me in this jumper my mum made me.”

sirius laughed, “it’s adorable.”

this is how a sub fandom was created. various twitter accounts dedicated to remus. people commenting on how cute he was or theorising the nature of sirius and remus’ relationship.

that embarrassed sirius slightly. he’d always had a mild crush on his editor and the fact that people were uploading the thirty seconds remus had ben on camera for and titling it “sirius having heart eyes for remus,” always made him slightly flustered.

remus’ appearing in sirius’ live shows started to become more frequent as people kept anting more remus content. this is how sirius came up with a new video idea. “Q and A with my editor.”

“i am just going to edit this and make sure nothing embarrassing i do is left in,” was the first thing remus said when he hit record.

“will you keep that in?” sirius asked, smiling.

“haven’t decided, depends how my hair looks.”

“it looks good.” that got edited out. “okay,” sirius said, “question one: what’s it like having to look at my face all day for a living.”

remus flushed. that got edited out. “it’s a weird way of describing my job, but i guess it’s not the worst thing in the world.”

sirius chuckled, “you flatter me.” sirius scrolled through his phone for more questions, “when will you start dating? let’s not include that one.”

remus scoffed, “when you ask me out i guess. yeah, that’s getting edited out.”

“christ, there’s a theme here,” sirius muttered, “remus are you single, remus rate sirius on appearance out of ten, remus would you rather kiss sirius or die.”

remus burst out laughing, “i’m starting to get a bit concerned about your viewers.”

“yeah, well, ever since my coming out video they’ve been desperate to know if i’m seeing anyone. there were all these proof videos about how me and james were dating before he married lily. oh here’s another one, remus what’s your sexuality?”

“bisexual,” he grinned, “should i leave that in or would that just drive people insane.”

“well, it depends. apparently there is already fanfiction about us.”

“how! i’ve been in like, four of your live shows.”

sirius shrugged, “people work fast.”

remus edited all of it out.

they spent hours laughing together on camera before finally wrapping the video up. it got 15 million views in a week.

“people like you, remus!”

“people just want somebody to ship you with.”

“no, for real, i keep seeing fan pages for you.”

remus laughed, “that’s insane! they know literally nothing about me.”

“they don’t have to. apparently being funny and good looking is enough for them to go on.” sirius regretted it almost instantly. luckily, remus didn’t seem to mind.

“you think i’m funny?”

sirius was so glad that he’d asked that instead of ‘you think i’m good looking’. “yeah, of course. i think you’re... yeah. we should hang out more. if you want of course.”

“ah, the amount of people on the who’d kill to hang out with the padfoot. yeah. that’d be nice. don’t tell the internet or they’ll think it’s a date.”

sirius shrugged, “is it?”

“oh, uh,” remus’ cheeks went bright pink. “i don’t know, is it?”

“if it doesn’t work, i still want to be friends. but we could always... try?”

a year later, sirius published his second most viewed video, after his coming out. it was titled “meet my boyfriend,” with the man in the thumbnail blurred out.

it was remus, of course. and the news actually broke twitter.

yo what the hell should i write an ao3 fic on this? i love this trope so much!!!

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar fan fiction #wolfstar prompt #wolfstar au #wolfstar text post #wolfstar textpost #wolfstar fanfiction #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius black x remus lupin #marauders

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years

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Homesquared Chapter 4

I cheated and some of my chapter 4 thoughts leaked into the chapter 3 post lol

Mostly about the pretty obvious Garden of Eden metaphor Dirk is for some reason setting up for himself and Rose as Adam and Eve

and I was about to say which begs the question of what the heck role Terezi is supposed to play as but then it’s very obviously as the Snake in the Garden

Terezi is very much just barely holding back some irritation towards how Dirk is treating Rose, but she’s also very intelligent and is aware of How much Dirk sees/knows and controls about their situation, so she’s probably leveraging her powers over Mind as much as possible in order to stay hidden in plain sight from Dirk’s narrative

and she does so in a way that is one of Dirk’s only blindspots - How Mind and other people have an effect in the determination of the Soul/Heart

By acting in a manner and doing things in a way that aligns with his expectations of her, he assumes and pigeonholes her into a type of character and bases his predictions of her behaviors off of that archtype, never expecting her to act outside it, and when he sees her actions and thoughts and desires all align within it, never questions that it might one day change or was different all along. Dirk’s never really been good at reading other people, can’t see without the lens of “how would I do it” blinding him to things he would never think to do, a trap that he keeps falling into with his friends and one he’s probably trying to overcome by becoming Ultimate God Person/combining all perspectives into his own and uncovering blindspots like that

But right now Mind is the darkest thing in is corner still and I think he sort of knows that as well

Terezi walks the crazy wiggled line boundary between their two Souls that defines who each of them is, as expertly as a person on a tightrope, never wavering until she reaches her destination, at which point she’ll leap off of that line and leave Dirk scrambling to try and calculate her next move/who exactly is she/what her goals are, since’s it won’t be following the clearly defined Heart boundary he’s used to drawing his plans by, so she’ll have to choose the perfect moment in order to entice Eve of the Apple of Revelation once more, heck, she might even do that so sneakily that she gets Adam to take a bite as well, since as soon as Rose bites it she’ll have an ally with her against Dirk.

For God created the Serpent originally as well, so thus why did he not imagine it’s betrayal and prevent it before it could have happened? Or else why did he create something he knew was going to betray? Eden was a paradise, so why intentionally create Evil in that paradise?

If Eve corrupted Adam and the Snake corrupted Eve, Who exactly corrupted the first Serpent? That’s something that the bible never goes into really, at least in Genesis, except to say that the Snake was punished for it’s action to forever crawl the earth eating the dust of man’s heel, punishing all snakes, as Adam and Eve’s punishment punished all humans

(Later I think the bible would try to say that the Snake was the Devil all along, but then why punish the Snake and all it’s progeny for it? If it was the Devil’s doing that undid Adam and Eve then why punish them for the Devil’s actions they would have no way of guarding against or now way of knowing it was a lie? Was it not God’s failure? The Walls of the Garden of Eden were supposed to protect his perfect creation afterall)

Gotta say though I really Rose’s design

I would call her Evil Rose, but she things she does she does in ignorance, not really out of evil, it would be like calling Eve evil for listening to the Snake when she was purposefully blinded to it’s intentions by her creation by God.

Once again we get this idea of Knowledge and Choice affecting eachother, Well I say again but really I’ve been watching RWBY a lot lately and the idea that you can’t make a real choice without real knowledge comes up a lot in it’s mythos and it is really applicable here

Terezi’s design as well is incorporating a lot more Red, she really dug those red shoes aesthetic but gave it her own twist, she’s got a red tie, her ever present red cane and glasses and even in that shot of her her horns look more red and solid as well, even though i know it’s just the lighting

So really digging the whole Terezi is the Apple/Snake in the Garden metaphor, she has also been having that tendency to just snack on random plants, intentionally for her own or Dirk’s unaware benefit or not, it’ll make it that much easier to her actions of later betrayal to be seen as “in character and therefore expected and not dangerous” instead of pre-meditated and actually dangerous, to him

And then they start waxing about their various philosophical babble, Dirk seems really determined to also use this to try and figure out that whole problem of how other’s affect the self, he’s trying at least, I think, in his own way. But not for a good reason, not so that he can have a real understanding of that, but because he wants to use it to guard his own self even further

He’s maybe not using Rose here as an equal player, but more like a wall to bounce his own ideas off of and test them, like using a neural learning AI to test ideas or an actual literal wall in a game of table tennis.

Heh, I got a chuckle out of the fact that Dirk’s answer to the Ship of Theseus problem is “why does we even have to remove and replace parts of it, why not keep the original pristine and eternal?”

because it’s funny how avoidant of the problem that answer is, man he really really is uncomfortable with the idea of changing the self in any way

“He's avoiding the question again. It's amazing how one can technically have the maximum amount of metaphysical personal awareness possible, and still not notice these sorts of things. “

SAYS LITERALLY YOU but honestly this is just more fuel to the idea that maybe he can make a genuine connection and understanding with a person if he can recognize how he and her are the same

“It's stuff like this that makes me wonder sometimes whether there's anything about myself that I'm missing. Then I throw that wonder in the garbage can and turn the incinerate setting on.”

but nah he’s still firmly denying that possibility, he’s almost actually equating his trauma of self erosion with the idea that making friends and understanding others changes the self in subtle ways as well

He can’t even stand the thought of his own close friends influencing him to be different in small subtle ways or adjusting his behavior for others because that STILL counts as a change of self that he didn’t authorize or choose.

Also can’t help but by be reminded of my wacky little fan made Gamma session I made forever ago by them using the name Delta-Detritus and basically be like alright, what if we do SBURB again but BETTER/worse this time?? Which is essentially the thread that most Homestuck fix it fanfiction tends to go towards

Though I am curious now

We got A/Alpha for Alternia which is based of off “Alternate” introducing the trolls as an alternate race to Human Earth

B/Beta for Beforus which is based of off “Before” introducing the planet of trolls that came before the first group

And then Earth C, now, there isn’t a letter C, the third in the greek alphabet is actually Γγ Gamma, (and the fourth is ΔδDelta)

So I wonder what “name” Earth C really has?

It feels like it should either start with C OR with GA, as Alternia starts with the AL of Alpha, Beforus starts with the BE of Beta and same with Deltritus and Delta

As as “Another for Earth” Gaia isn’t a terrible option all things considered, now you just have to make it sound like a word which describes it’s use to the narrative

It’s is a very split place, having the two timelimes Meat and Candy associated with it, as well it does feel extremely mercurial in nature, being a sort of crosswords between Homestuck and Homesquared proper, and really exists in a place between stories, an ephemeral epilogue of sorts

really a merger of Gaia and Gemini feels the most appropriate here, like Gamini, also the word mini stands out in there as well, knowing that this Planet is sort of on a lesser status compared to the other three since it’s not going to be the birthplace of a session, also has the word Game in it

But then people will wonder why it doesn’t begin with a C since it still is called Earth C so *shrug*

Honestly C K and G sounds are all very similar in the tongue, so maybe it’s both Camini and Gamini at the same time OH FUCK CA AND GA, ONE HAS CALLIOPE ONE HAS GAMZEE? SHIT IM ONTO SOMETHING (no im not)

I like Camini now better, it comes from a place of Gamma/Gamzee/Game/Gemini but ends up being more about the twinned Ca’s that were used to, Caliborn and Calliope and fits with the establish Earth C theme

So there you go, Earth C’s actual planet name should be Camini

which also works because:

Camini

home stove/furnace

smelting/foundry furnace, forge

vent (underground fires)

according to the latin language this word also has multiple meanings and many Irons in the Fire, I think the fandom will appreciate the name haha

Yeah both races are definitely going to both be playing one game of SBURB, despite what Dirk is intending, the pic does make it really clear

There’s something to say how Dirk seems to be represented by Purple and Rose by Orange in this here and then how all of the cave is a backdrop of that same purple.

Look at even the controllers on the machine having purple and orange knobs, even being solely on Dirk’s side of the image

I guess Dirk intends himself to be the force behind Derse, since that’s the force that always “wins” and Rose fitting in her place as the ultimate loser (since of course Dirk will want to win his own game) but also to be like Skaia the force of Prospit

So Dirk intends to be a whisperer like a horrorterror, choosing to manifest his influence that way, while Rose will give visions to her race like Skaia?

makes sense honestly

but again even with the themes of duality, the theme of the trio is bright and center in that piece of ultimately technology, the third influence hidden unseen in the furthest corner behind the curtain of snakelike tubes and wires that Dirk will not expect to interfere, or even have the capability to interfere, Terezi

heck it’s even in the buttons next to the controls being colored red blue and green

there’s so much duality in homestick with destructive red and creative green but then there’s also always been that mercurial breathy blue as the third

God, tell me that doesn’t look like a baby proto horrorterror

I can hear it raging it’s revenge against it’s cruel human creators even as I type

No wonder they become associated with destruction, they know theyre the pawns of two heartless cruel god children playing at life like it was a game

Rose you MUST KNOW how bad this is, it’s not a theoretical discussion anymore, that things exists and is alive and has feelings and you did it to that

and that thing is technically a Dirk too

Is this how Dirk get’s his revelation? Or downfall? As his Heart is unwittingly invaded by the horrified cacophanous screams of his grotesque tortured progeny crying out for his blood?

His end unintentionally ending up as the thing he feared most? Inner self destruction caused by his own sharp and bloody splinters turned and pointed inward, tearing himself apart with the pieces of his own Soul? Caused by his own Hubris?

I will say typing that all out is pretty good

I’m just sad the same will probably happen to Rose too though ): Maybe she’ll make careful more humane species? Something that has the potential to exist and be happy as it’s own creature while Dirk just creates monstrosities forever in conflict with Rose’s race?

They’ll each be the master of their own eventually destinies I suppose but Homestuck seems to have a good track record so far of the Ultimate Female Creator being out to protect the happiness of the children that exist in her creation while the Ultimate Male God just ends up destroying everything in his

#Homesquared #Homestuck^2 #Dirk Strider #Rose Lalonde #Terezi Pyrope #long post

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treacherous-dwarf-of-the-seas · 4 years

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I had a lot of Thoughts about the Steven Universe Future finale

It’s exactly a month after its premiere, but I still have a lot of feelings and I wanna organize my thoughts a bit so I can have them somewhere, perhaps for any future ideas I may have. I think I’m just gonna list my thoughts on the 4 individual episodes, the finale (and season) as a whole, etc. Overall, I liked most of it, but I’m gonna get a bit su critical because although I absolutely loved many things about this finale, Oh boy. Some things I downright Did Not. Spoilers ahead I guess, this is a long one.

This is my favorite part of the finale by far. To me, it did almost everything right.

I loved picking up right after Fractured, and Steven’s expression and body language, *chef’s kiss*

Poor Jasper gets killed *twice*

Homeworld looks so good! It’s all gardeny and disorganized in a good way.

Purple pearl?

SPINEL’S BACK!!!

Edgy theories that spinel and the diamonds were a disaster waiting to happen (I agreed with these) were wrong and this makes me happy.

Steven’s reaction to Spinel kissing him? Was a tad strange//

SO GOOD to see Spinel being mentally healthy and happy and while still being herself.

The Diamonds! Actually working to better themselves!

I love the idea of diamond powers “working in reverse”. Like, Yellow diamond can change bodies and destabilize bodies, Blue can change emotions for better or worse, White can take over others or let others in. Honestly the idea that Pink/Rose could bring random plants to life and basically heal anything always struck me as so overpowered and random. The context that she was a goddess of destruction that changed into a goddess of creation makes the concept make a bit more sense to me, I appreciate that.

I’m so ambivalent about Yellow’s scene.

Like, its so satisfying to see. The thing that everybody (including me) was complaining about was that the diamonds’ redemption did not change the millennia of shattered, corrupted and amalgamated gems and suffering they had directly caused. Its very nice to see them putting their money with their mouths are. There’s acknowledgement that redemption isn’t just saying sorry and being less of a dick than you were before, it’s also correcting past wrongs and making it up to the people who were hurt.

However, I’m not totally sold on the idea of healing every shattered gem and the cluster. Like, I guess it makes sense considering a shatter is just a crack that’s been finished, and cracks in gems can be healed. But I don’t think it should be as easy as it is, and in any case, it just feels like it cheapens the impact of shattering, and even the forced fusions when they were so impactful in the original show. I wish the healing could still be done, but in a way that respects how awful and impactful the harm was.

I totally understand Steven in the Blue Diamond scene. I had had mental health problems where my mom had just offered drugs instead of talking to me or trying to help in a way that showed she cared about the issue, so this scene hit a bit hard.

Blue gets a song!

White, by far, my favorite scene in all of Future.

Spinel White, no joke, gave me nightmares.

The little moment of Steven yelling at himself for being a diamond is exactly what I wanted and I needed so much more of it.

Triggered by everything White Diamond does. *chef’s kiss*. I especially love the little subtle moment of looking uncomfortable and pushing away white’s fingernails.

Finally seeing similarities between Steven and White is canon, though I wish it was more explored.

THE HALLUCINATION

Zach Callison is Intense(TM). This man always goes so hard and deserves mad respect.

TOO BAD.

Intrusive thoughts being represented in this way is amazing.

I still wonder if White knows what happened. Can she read thoughts in that state?

He used White Diamond’s power to go into her body, and then while in her body, used her power of possession to take over his own body to puppet himself? I actually love the twistedness of this concept. It shows how twisted Steven himself has become. It’s so much about self-harm, while also not being self harm? vengeful thoughts, intrusive thoughts, anger, just everything. This moment could take all day to analyze, and I think it is way more thematically relevant to Steven’s internal struggle than the corruption.

Love that the diamonds were still willing to help and only seemed concerned after how Steven was acting. They have changed!

Fairy tale imagery, noice.

This one is odd in the best way.

My favorite scenes in anything with supernatural beings is when they look at their own eyes in the mirror and realize that it’s not human or changed from what they should be. The way this scene played out was in a way I’ve only seen in fanfiction, and I am Here for it. The horror on Steven’s face when he’s looking at his own appearance is just wonderfully done.

Very uncomfortable that there is an actual painting of Steven as an angel in his own room. I love how it ties into this episode, but I genuinely feel uncomfortable that he was thought of in that way at all.

The flat out denial that he had just done the things he had done simply by virtue of who he is, I love the idea that “Steven Universe” has become more of a concept/symbol to him rather than being his own name. It reminds me of his concept of his mother and how her name is more of a symbol to Steven than a person. I just love the subtle parallel.

I love the fact that “toxic positivity” is being explored in this show. I never really see it being discussed, and in a show so centered on being honest about emotions, no matter how painful they are, its so wonderful that the protagonist’s main character flaw is the exact opposite, to the point of being forcefully happy and smiling and actively ignoring things going wrong. It really strengthens the message by showing the opposite extreme.

I love the recontextualization that is present in suf. The criticisms of Steven being “too happy” during the cluster arc, being strangely positive after Lars’ death, etc. Although it was uncomfortable when those episodes came out and those events were all but ignored, I’m happy that it is being addressed as this culmination of madness in Steven, being so forcefully happy that its obvious that those episodes weren’t trying to ignore the problems, Steven was.

I’m also happy to see a genuine “hero complex” in a protagonist. (usually the term is used incorrectly to mean “anyone who is a hero who works too hard.”

Steven talking to himself in typical protagonist fashion.

The crystal gems staging an intervention, good shit.

“Steven’s here to help. Steven help. Help Steven.” Not subtle, but I’m always a slut for the glitchy messages.

The confession of his crimes, love that we get to see the gems react to that.

The whole monologue. Once again, Zach goes hard. I love the manic energy and still the ending is so raw and broken.

“Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix anything. I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it! How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long. You have no idea how bad I am.”

It honestly feels like some projection? (Idk something to do with that). It feels like hes a little put out by the things he learned in Homeworld Bound. Like, maybe he feels the same way I do? That the diamonds got off too easy? Maybe it’s simply that hes put out that they’re getting better and he seems to be getting worse. Maybe even, into the worst parts of his mom? I mean from his perspective, his mother had reverse character development and went, in his mind, from a goddess to a petty teenager, to an actual monster. How upsetting would it be to see the galactic dictators who got to live, do so many awful things, worse things than her, and just get to make everything better, to the point of total reversal of their crimes, while pink just ran away and left steven to deal with the mess.While he had to deal with the aftermath of EVERYTHING. Everyone seems to just be okay with the diamonds now, the monsters he feared for so long, so how come he has to be the bad one? How come he has to be like them now? Maybe it’s even coming back to his whole theory that he’s just a reincarnated version of his mom. (I know that he knows it isn’t true, but old fears and old habits can come back during a manic episode, and he spent a long time thinking that he was just there to clean up his mom’s mess and thinking that he was her in disguise.) If you look at what he’s saying, it’s a little strange that he’s talking about how bad he is and how he messes up and then fixes the stuff and no one has to know. It doesn’t even sound like he’s talking about himself, not really.

This sounds like a hysterical realization of what being a diamond means for steven. This is better explained in this post here :https://pennylogue.tumblr.com/post/613441610438590464/steven-is-a-diamond-and-thats-okay . Like, he is panicking that being a diamond means that he can just destroy everything and just fix it like the other diamonds. It’s terrifying that he can just destroy anything and hurt anybody, and people will still worship the ground he walks on just by virtue of who he is. (This isn’t true, obviously, but after what had just happened with jasper, a terrified mind would latch on to that.)

Dude, I could just go on all day this monologue is just fascinating.

Love the parallel of Connie’s “backpack butterflies” and Steve’s back exploding. Its like a subtle way to show that the thoughts are “suddenly swarming.”

Oh god. I’ve gotta be honest. I hated this one. But I’ll start off with things I liked.

The general concept is okay, but I feel like it is not thematically consistent, which I will get into later.

The moment when the gems tell Greg to leave, and he stamps his foot down saying he needs to be with his son, I like that it is very apparent that his stomp makes almost no sound or impact, which really shows how different Steven is from him, aka, his separation from his own humanity that has been building up.

Connie being amazing as always.

“Yoo hoo! Steven! Is this a bad time?”

Spinel’s entire thing, from her reaction to seeing pink godzilla to her thinking that she is the main villain of steven’s story. It reminds me of Peridot’s “leader of the crystal gems, traitor to homeworld” thing and it makes me so happy.

“WHy is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?”

The ending. Jesus. Zach always goes so hard I don’t doubt he was actually sobbing. I wish I could have cried during this moment.

I respect the message, that it’s not about fixing it, it’s about being there for the person struggling, and Steven wasn’t cured, he finally hit a breaking point. I understand that the problem was not “solved with a hug” as so many say.

I love that before I saw the episode I saw pics of Garnet being as big as the kaiju and actually said to myself, “Wow the heights really ARE inconsistent.”

I don’t like that Connie included herself as one of the people that depend on Steven. They are the healthiest relationship in the entire show and Connie is always there for Steven? sometimes even more than he can be there for her? Where is this coming from? She has literally always been there. Her calling everyone out did clear my skin and water my crops though.

Also, where is Connie’s emotional resolution? Didn’ she go through alot of the same trauma as Steven?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable that a diamond, Steven, could corrupt themselves. It’s not necessarily a bad ending to have Steven be corrupted into a giant monster. However, I don’t think it’s the ending that was really built up to. The only real build up was the presence of “Wyrm boi” in the theme song, and that’s about it. It’s not as prevalent as eye symbolism and foreshadowing of someone (Steven or Connie) losing a hand or an eye.

The episode itself was 11 minutes long, and the monster was very underwhelming and way too quick. I feel like the emotions were too rushed, and although everyone else seemed to put in their emotional 2 cents, I feel as though Steven did not get the emotional climax that he really needed.

Also why didn’t we have a sweet little moment of connection with Nephrite Jade/Centipeetle? Wouldn’t that have been such a bittersweet parallel? The whole “being there for Steven like he was there for us?” So where is she?

There was so much imagery and thematic elements in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future, that did not build up to the kaiju monster in the way that it was.

The imagery with one eye, the eye patches, cat steven, the heterochromatic eyes with Onion’s doll, Cookie cat, split Steven, etc etc, most people have many many more examples. I feel like someone could have lost an eye, or maybe Steven could have had a corruption scar that left his eyes permanently heterochromatic. It also would have been thematically relevant to have Steven come out of this with more of a balance of his gem half and human half. This never really becomes relevant in “I Am My Monster.” His gem half turns him into a monster, his gem half helps him turn back. It’s nice that his gem and human family were there as support, but there was never a sense of balancing both sides of himself in the fact that they are there, as there are only two humans and mostly gems there, and this lack of balance and security with both parts of himself was one of the major themes throughout the series and one of the sources of Steven’s identity crisis.

Connie is always a parallel to Pearls. Our Pearl and Pink Pearl. I wish something had come of that. (There are amazing comics that show her losing an eye like Pink Pearl, as it seemed to be foreshadowed in Open Book and Sworn to the Sword.)

This idea isn’t mine, but I’ve seen it done really well and I feel like it would have been a better ending than 10 minute godzilla monster. I wish I could have seen Steven split up again. I am personally fascinated with the otherworldly enigma that are Steven’s two halves, but I feel that that would have tied into the themes better and tied up more loose ends. By the end of the series, we don’t know Steven’s opinion on his mother, and last time we heard him mention her it was in a negative light. This is connected to Steven’s conflict within himself, his desire to understand his human side better, his fear of his power as a diamond, his insecurity and loneliness as a totally unique being. Homeworld Bound was the closest we got to seeing Steven talk to himself, and confront the two sides of himself. This was also the closest we’ve seen Steven come to being honest with the diamonds about how he really sees them. However, this ended with Steven hurting himself, (wanting to hurt White was a response to trauma as well as symbolically confronting his own diamond self), and running away. We never get to see the resolution to that conversation. We never see Steven accept that he is a diamond and that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Furthermore, Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is not resolved. The negative character development took a huge toll on her character. Not only does the audience think of her as a terrible person, but the characters also forget her positive character development after hearing about all the mistakes of the past. Rose/Pink’s redemption arc still happened. I think it would have been fitting to remind us here, like all the other diamonds get their moment in this special. I feel like having Steven split up would tie up these loose ends. It would be a dramatic ending while also being a way for Steven to confront these issues within himself in a grounded way, while also making genuine peace with Pink Diamond. We could have Steven talking to himself, maybe starting out the way he did with White in Homeworld Bound, then steadily coming to terms with the sides of himself that he is afraid of, maybe how both sides help each other, how Pink Diamond is not a symbol of all that is wrong in his life, but just a person with flaws who was able to be better, like he can be better, too. This was touched on a little in Change Your Mind, but I would love to see Steven’s thoughts on Pink after the events of Fractured and Homeworld Bound, as there has to be some difference in perspective there. I feel that if Steven split into his components, these themes and ideas could be explored more and we could have a better climatic resolution for Steven’s character arc. Even if Steven came out with no scars, even with both his eyes, the imagery and thematic elements would still be satisfactorily resolved if we got to see the two halves of Steven actually talk to each other. This also explains it better. https://scatterpatter.tumblr.com/post/615024679798915072/hmmmm-okay-so-i-just-watched-one-of-those-rose

Btw, if anybody has fanfiction recs with this concept, please hmu.

I think I hate the kaiju ending because it seemed like such a waste of potential and didn’t really resolve any conflict besides functioning as a sort of breakdown.

The Future. aka: Welcome to another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Boogle

The cookie cat rap. Pearl obviously kills it because she’s awesome and I was dying the entire time.

Steven/Therapy is canon!

I like that Steven puts up a poster of Kerry Moonbeam in his room that he’s giving to his dad. It’s like he’s made peace with the whole “mr. universe thing” and it makes me happy to see that he’s not holding it against his dad or even avoiding the subject.

I appreciate alot of little moments with the family while it still lasts.

It is genuinely like watching Crying Breakfast Friends.

Steven gets to be “petty” with his emotions! He is finally honest with his family. I do appreciate the subtle resolution to his character arc (despite my opinions of the climax).

My favorite thing about Steven and Connie is that the fact that they are “canon” has basically always been true. Like, they’ve always loved eachother as best friends and they still do, it’s just that they get to kiss now. I absolutely love that its not a huge dramatic thing, its just Steven and Connie and they are otp for life.

The fanfic potential is strong with this one.

I wish I could have seen a therapy session or at least meeting the therapist. Maybe Steven walking into the office with his family behind him and its a moment of doing the first steps toward getting better.

But as is, this one is fine.

Love the idea of a road trip with our little weirdo interacting with normies.

Time to hit up Gravity Falls, lmao.

TLDR:, the finale was good, but I did not particularly care for the climax. I am genuinely sad to see this show go. I was not a fan until I was already 18, but even after 5 years this show has taught me so much about self love, acceptance, tolerance, emotional honesty, etc. (I’ll probably do another post about it because holy shit this is long.) But this season, or epilogue series, has gotten me through such a difficult time in my life that is still happening, and has given me the tools to get through it. I sympathize with Steven so much, and I know alot of other people did too. It was so nice to be part of a community that just adopted this feral child. Some of future was rushed and of course it wasn’t perfect, but I greatly respect what it was doing. Bringing up PTSD and mental illness in this way in something like this was not something I was prepared for, even in this show, and I certainly couldn’t have imagined it even 5 years ago. Even with its missteps, this show took so many risks and was so incredibly detailed and it was obvious that it was made with alot of love and the fans in mind. I criticize because I love this show and while I feel it is necessary to acknowledge its flaws, I have so much love for the possibilities that this little world makes me dream of. These four episodes in particular was an emotional roller coaster and I am so sad to see it go, but I enjoyed the ride. Thank you, Crewniverse!

#steven universe #steven universe meta #steven universe finale #su #homeworld bound #everythings fine #corrupted steven #i am my monster #the future #steven universe future #pink diamond #connie maheswaran #long post #su critical i guess? if you squint

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softgrungeprophet · 4 years

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i love... how flash loves.......... (homoerotic) poetry (He’s Gay)

obviously we know about the strongest canon example of this specific thing which is “The Archaic Torso of Apollo” by Rainer Maria Rilke, which Flash quotes the final line of

We cannot know his legendary head with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso is still suffused with brilliance from inside, like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could a smile run through the placid hips and thighs to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders and would not glisten like a wild beast's fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself, burst like a star: for here there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life.

(and presumably other similarly gay-ass--i mean....devout--poems by Rilke)

There’s also a quote from a letter by Ralph Waldo Emerson to his daughter, in the final issue of Remender’s Agent Venom run--Emerson’s poetry has a kind of... stilted style which I PERSONALLY am not a fan of and it is very different from Rilke, but hey, a gay football player can have varied tastes. But also, he didn’t exactly quote an Emerson poem...

I don’t care about Emerson anyway I’m here to talk about my poetry headcanons for Flash mostly in the context of fanfiction I GUESS.

Not just homoerotic. I know that’s how I started this post but my intent was just poetry in general.

Copy-pasting from my notes for a particular timeline:

An analysis based on literally like one poem:

Flash seems to have a preference for poetry that is mildly abstract and descriptive, somewhere between literal and figurative. The style itself seems variable though. Emerson cuts his lines fairly tightly and with a specific structure and rhyme (not always—"Teach me I am forgotten by the dead" has a looser style without rhyme) while Rilke's "Archaic Torso..." specifically flows through lines and is cut partway through sentences without any rhyming scheme. [note I didn’t go looking thru rilke’s other work for this] Emerson is still willing to break grammar in things like using "builded" instead of "built," even if his punctuation and clauses are usually much more contained than Rilke's stream-of-words broken clauses.

Though that could be era specific. I only skimmed.

But from there, a while ago, I ended up going through some poets both contemporary to Rilke (or thereabouts)

But like.

No question, Dylan Thomas.

And NOT just because of the poem to his dying father. Everyone knows that one. Do not go gently in that good night blah blah

He just has those vibes, that flow, you know????

This one in particular caught my eye the strongest.

“My hero bares his nerves” is I THINK about Jesus and also pretty homoerotic imo

My hero bares his nerves along my wrist That rules from wrist to shoulder, Unpacks the head that, like a sleepy ghost, Leans on my mortal ruler,

The proud spine spurning turn and twist. And these poor nerves so wired to the skull Ache on the lovelorn paper I hug to love with my unruly scrawl That utters all love hunger And tells the page the empty ill.

My hero bares my side and sees his heart Tread, like a naked Venus, The beach of flesh, and wind her bloodred plait; Stripping my loin of promise, He promises a secret heat.

He holds the wire from the box of nerves Praising the mortal error Of birth and death, the two sad knaves of thieves, And the hunger's emperor; He pulls the chain, the cistern moves.

anyway, spider-man

But also here are some selected small snips from other Dylan Thomas poems: (with links so you can go read the whole ones if you like)

"Our eunuch dreams"

This is the world; the lying likeness of Our strips of stuff that tatter as we move Loving and being loth; The dream that kicks the buried from their sack And lets their trash be honoured as the quick. This is the world. Have faith.

"I see the boys of summer"

I am the man your father was. We are the sons of flint and pitch. O see the poles are kissing as they cross.

like i said, he’s got vibes, and judging by the One (1) poem Flash has ever quoted, it’s vibes that work for him.

anyway onward

Kinda in line with how clipped Emerson's poetry is (even though flash only quoted a letter and not a poem), I wouldn't be surprised if Flash liked Emily Dickinson—and she's skilled; her poems are easy to read and flow well. Emerson in comparison is sometimes hard to read.

At least for me.

Maybe I just like Emily Dickinson.

But listen.

Easy to read and depressed (and sometimes kinda gay but shhh) is a good choice for Flash.

I don’t really have a good specific example--she wrote a pretty sizeable chunk of work after all--but I think I like this one--

“I measure every grief I meet (561)”

(this is only a section of it)

The Grieved – are many – I am told – There is the various Cause – Death – is but one – and comes but once – And only nails the eyes –

There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold – A sort they call "Despair" – There's Banishment from native Eyes – In sight of Native Air –

And though I may not guess the kind – Correctly – yet to me A piercing Comfort it affords In passing Calvary –

To note the fashions – of the Cross – And how they're mostly worn – Still fascinated to presume That Some – are like my own –

The last part in particular.... I think fits.

Some slightly more modern poets (ranging from mid century to like, actually contemporary) that would work well are I think

William Meredith

“Starlight”

Going abruptly into a starry night It is ignorance we blink from, dark, unhoused; There is a gaze of animal delight Before the human vision. Then, aroused To nebulous danger, we may look for easy stars, Orion and the Dipper; but they are not ours,

These learned fields. Dark and ignorant, Unable to see here what our forebears saw, We keep some fear of random firmament Vestigial in us. And we think, Ah, If I had lived then, when these stories were made up, I Could have found more likely pictures in haphazard sky.

But this is not so. Indeed, we have proved fools When it comes to myths and images. A few Old bestiaries, pantheons and tools Translated to the heavens years ago— Scales and hunter, goat and horologe—are all That save us when, time and again, our systems fall.

And what would we do, given a fresh sky And our dearth of image? Our fears, our few beliefs Do not have shapes. They are like that astral way We have called milky, vague stars and star-reefs That were shapeless even to the fecund eye of myth— Surely these are no forms to start a zodiac with.

To keep the sky free of luxurious shapes Is an occupation for most of us, the mind Free of luxurious thoughts. If we choose to escape, What venial constellations will unwind Around a point of light, and then cannot be found Another night or by another man or from other ground.

As for me, I would find faces there, Or perhaps one face I have long taken for guide; Far-fetched, maybe, like Cygnus, but as fair, And a constellation anyone could read Once it was pointed out; an enlightenment of night, The way the pronoun you will turn dark verses bright.

And I think...

Marilyn Hacker is like a LOT more modern (still alive!) but I can also see some version of Flash (in college) curious and wondering about things finding a poet like her and being drawn to her flow and the casual feeling. I believe.... she is a lesbian and was married to a gay guy.

“On Marriage”

Epithalamion? Not too long back I was being ironic about “wives.” It’s very well to say, creation thrives on contradiction, but that’s a fast track shifted precipitately into. Tacky, some might say, and look mildly appalled. On the whole, it’s one I’m likely to be called on. Explain yourself or face the music, Hack. No law books frame terms of this covenant. It’s choice that’s asymptotic to a goal, which means that we must choose, and choose, and choose momently, daily. This moment my whole trajectory’s toward you, and it’s not losing momentum. Call it anything we want.

I like this one

Aside from those I think you could probably get into things like Elizabeth Bishop or Jack Spicer...

Dylan Thomas is my strongest choice though, out of all of the above.

#i have a complex relationship with poetry and it's that i both love and hate it #lmfao #nadia reads comics

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android-whump-big-bang · 5 years

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AWBB Creator Spotlight

Hey everyone and welcome to the first creator spotlight for the Android Whump Big Bang! This is not related to the Big Bang other than to show everyone a preview at what our talented creators can do!

The full fic and a Q&A is under the cut!

Creator: @random-nerd-posts

Role: Writer

Creation Title: Blue Air, White Snow

Connor didn’t have a car. He didn’t bring money for a taxi and it was snowing extremely hard outside. He really didn’t want to go home, but Hank already left, and Gavin called in sick. So, here he was, pacing around his desk, contemplating calling someone to come pick him up, because damn it he did not want to walk home in the snow. He didn't want to deal with the cold. He couldn't deal with the cold. He was afraid to. He was afraid to walk in the snow and see her. He just couldn’t. Looking at Jeffery’s office, he sighed, the man also left a few hours ago, but Connor knew the man didn’t like him one bit, so again, not many options are left for him. He wanted to just sleep at the precinct, but he knew Hank would flip out if he didn’t come home safe and sound. So, Connor took a deep breath and put on his coat and went outside. He looked up and smiled. Yeah, it wasn’t so bad now, but unlike the storm in the store when there was that shooting and the blackout, it was peaceful. Connor thought he was shutting down when the lights went out and it was storming, he didn’t feel like that now, but he didn’t want to wait around for it to get bad either, so off he went to what was now his new home. When he got to the crossroads, he knew it was snowing a little bit harder, making him shiver a little bit more. Something he had developed the night that he almost lost control and shot Markus after infiltrating Cyberlife.

Shaking his head, he shuddered a sigh and trudged on. He didn’t like this feeling of helplessness. A year had passed, and he was still afraid of losing control and hearing that voice telling him that he never had control. I need to get home! I need to stop thinking and I need to get home RIGHT NOW! Connor thought as he started to jog but couldn’t keep the pace due to the shivering. He had to shut that down, but he didn’t know how. The snow was falling harder. He held his quickening breath and stopped all together. He looked at the sky and it was dark grey. This wasn’t good. He really needed to get out of there, but he had to get the Ha- his house first. He ignored his shivering and darted. He ran and breathed a steady beat. He stopped only because he hit a spot of ice and slipped upon his back. He looked at the sky and could feel his face getting warmer. He was crying. He hated winter. He hated Amanda. He hated Kamski. He hated snow. He loved Sumo and Hank. He didn’t want to move, but he had to move faster to get out of the snow. He was afraid that if he didn’t, he was going to be buried alive by the blanket of white snow. He still didn’t move because he was interested in the cloud that was expelling from his breath every time he breathed out. It was a light blue, like a mixture of water and thirium. He didn’t know what this meant, but if he focused on this, the snow wasn’t too bad. He still hated it, and it was unbearable, but it wasn’t that unbearable. So, Connor sat up, focusing on his breath once more, he looked up into the sky. The stars we covered up by the clouds, and Connor couldn’t see the moon, making it seem like the night and snow was consuming him. He could feel his stress rising, so he looked at what humans would call his breath, and he calmed down a little bit and he got up and continued onward to home. He almost collapsed when he saw Hank’s house, but he had to run to get away from the snow. When he entered the house, Hank looked at the android like he was a crazy man, but Connor didn’t acknowledge the lieutenant as he went and hugged the Saint Bernard and sobbed into the dog’s neck. Hank sat down by the android, realizing that he totally forgot that the deviant was petrified of snow and snowstorms. Something to deal with his programming and self-testing program installed into his system. Hank just didn’t push it, but also didn’t ask why Connor was slightly breathing blue air while he ran into the house either.

Q: What inspired this work: What inspired me for this work was the fact that I was looking for one-shots ideas online (like a boon) and I saw a list of December stuff. Looking into it, it just screamed Connor due to the whole Amanda sequence after CyberLife tries to control our Conno-boi again.

Q. How long did it take for you to create this piece: Because, when I first made it, there were a ton of mistakes in it, grammar wise (I am a freak about making sure my spelling is correct), I wrote it in one day due to the fact that I wanted to relax after a day in class.

Q. Why did you choose to feature Connor as your main character: I chose Connor because the title said Blue Air, White Snow. Looking back at the scene at the end, where CyberLife is trying to gain control of his memories, it's hectic where there's the blizzard, it's cold, and he has to stop himself from shooting his friend. So, thinking, "okay, Connor would correlate any type of snow falling with Amanda and that moment. That's why I think it's important to show that impact it had on Connor with the whole freaking out part with any type of snow.

Q. Do you have a favorite trope to write about: Honestly, my favorite type of trope is showing what canon events did to impact a character and describing it. That's why, when you read a lot of my one-shots in my 100 Prompts on my tumblr page, you see a ton of description and not a lot of dialogue because I feel looking at another's actions in depth, like what type of expression and how they respond to an event would be more valuable than instead making them say it. It really shows who that person is, especially if something happened that would cause them to freak out over a simple blackout in a supermarket (different one-shot, sorry), or on another end, have fun with a snowball fight with the other Jericho leaders because it isn't that bad of a world like when Amanda is around.

Q. What inspired you to start writing whump: The real reason I actually got into whump was because I grew up in a shitty place. My mom and sister would always fight, and I felt like I would get in the middle a lot. My family hated each other, and I felt like I was targeted for some of their anger. Then, fanfiction came along, and I didn't want to write happy because I wasn't happy. So, I decided to write what I was feeling based off what the character's tragic events were. My writing was shit when I started, but when I realized that people actually love whump stories, I couldn't stop because it made me happy in all of the tragic events happening in my own life. So, whump was actually my escape from reality, and I'm really excited to keep pursuing the pain of others.

#awbb #AndroidWhumpBigBang #android whump big bang #creator spotlight #random-nerd-posts #dbh #Detroit become human #whump #connor #connor rk800 #hank #hank anderson #sumo #dbh fanfic #fanfiction

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apocalyvse · 5 years

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11/11/11

I was tagged by @water-writings <3

1. Do you write fanfictions or original stories and did you ever write fanfiction?

I write (and always have written) both; I actually started writing fanfiction when I was like 10 years old, before I even knew what fanfiction was, and then later discovered that it was a whole thing. For quite a few years now fanfic has been my main thing, but I’ve got a few original things that I’m knuckling down on this year and really enjoying, so we’ll see.

2. Did you ever write your stories in the middle of class instead of paying attention?

Not in the middle of class really, but I did write like half a harry potter au fic sort of thing based off of some rp characters at the end of my year 11/12 exams. The exams were like 3 hours long each, and like, I’m not smart but I am pretty quick at theory stuff so I’d have 1.5-2 hours per exam to fill, and I would never use the note paper for notes. So I’d fold my note paper into 8ths and write reeeeeally really small and fill it all up during my extra exam time. (I still have the sheets of paper if anyone wants to see xD)

3. How many notebooks do you have filled with your writing?

Since somewhere in 2015, I have filled 25 notebooks; not including anything I wrote straight out on a computer, on my phone, on random pieces of paper, or in other notebooks that aren’t included in my numbering system, which I have lmao.

4. What’s your favorite way to write? Notebook, Word Doc, Google Docs?

By hand in notebooks. I used to write in a word doc, and I still use word to type up into and edit it, but I find writing by hand really pushes my word counts up, and forces me to do an initial edit when I type it up, especially with fanfic because I don’t draft fanfic.

5. Do you write by yourself or do you need people writing with you?

I’ve always written alone - most of my friends don’t even know that I write, or don’t write anymore themselves, so it’s just me and myself over here. I was in a writing club at school for a while, and we tried to do a couple projects together, but the group got off course way too easily and nothing really got done, so I prefer to be alone with something I’m really passionate about finishing.

6. Have you ever cowritten with someone?

When I was liiiiiike 12, my friend and I co-wrote a lot of Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic lmao, which to this day is one of my favourite writing memories. And I co-wrote an entire 50k ‘novel’ with my friend during middle school, which was actually pretty good fun - we traded off chapters and worked together on plot and worldbuilding and actually finished the whole thing. It was horrible (I can’t look at it anymore it’s so cringey), but a good experience to have. I’ve co-written with a few friends online too, with mixed results - nothing that’s ever really gone anywhere though.

7. Who do you bounce ideas off of?

No one lmao. I just throw them into the story and see if they work.

8. Have you ever taken an experience from your life and written it into a story?

Definitely! The most obvious example would probably be the series of short stories I’ve written and posted on this horse racing game I play, Flying For Home, which are sometimes drawn directly from stuff that happens around my workplace in real life, seeing as I work with racehorses in a big stable (the premise of the short stories lmao).

Another example I can think of is, funnily enough, my other horse-related project; a novel called Vertigo, for which I have drawn on a lot of my own personal history and people that I’ve met in my life and thrown it into the mixing pot. It’s a bit of a personal daydream tbh xD Other than those, there’s a little bit of myself in everything I write, I think, though it’s hard to pick out sometimes.

9. Favorite type of music to listen to while you write.

I usually don’t let myself listen to music when I write, but if I do, it’ll be the playlist I inevitably have for the story, turned down very quiet so that it fades into the background - usually just pop and alternative/indie sort of stuff.

10. Have you ever had anyone give you “advice” that hurt you and prevented you from writing for a while?

I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that stopped me from writing, and I’ve certainly never had criticism from outsiders/strangers or whatever (generally people just ignore me). But I do keep my mum at a distance from my writing, as she tends to just push and push me to ‘publish something already’ and gives off the mentality of ‘it’s not worth wasting your time on if it won’t make you money’. She uh...doesn’t know that I have published over 100k of fanfic this year. Lol. She’s only trying to be supportive, in her own way, and I appreciate it, but I just don’t mention it to her very often, because she’s never really ready to listen to my point of view on it.

11. Have you ever had fans of your writing pester to write a certain way?

I don’t have fans xD

And from @starsandstormyseas because you asked good questions and I Want To...

1. Have you ever had an idea that sounded really great in your head, but when you started writing it, came out terrible for whatever reason?

Yesssss, Flicker has gone through 9 versions in 2 years because every time I start it, it just goes very quickly in directions that I don’t want it to and it never feels right. This version I’m working on now is the first time I’ve really liked all the ways I could go with it so hopefully we’re past book 2 blues and back on track.

2. What’s your favorite part in writing a story? The relationships (or shipping), the plot, the worldbuilding, something else?

The like, ‘main’ scenes, the big hitters. The culmination of all the middle bits into that one main plot point. And relationships too, though not romantic persay - I just really enjoy the scenes where two characters will bounce off of each other for like 7 pages of dialogue, whether its enemies, or friends, or romantic.

3. And weird habits you do when writing, or to keep yourself writing?

I write by hand mostly, and I have my own system to mark as I’m going sentences I don’t like, or words that don’t really fit but I couldn’t think of the right one, or facts I’ve made up on the fly that need to be googled. If I just mark down stuff that I want to change later as I go, I find that I set myself free in a way, and I can just move on without getting stuck on a google spiral (also I don’t forget to fix my plot holes later).

4. Do you keep the internet on or off when you write?

On, though it’s very distracting when I’m trying to write straight on my laptop lmao

5. What books, authors, fics, or any media, have heavily influenced your writing style?

I spent a lot of my childhood reading Enid Blyton and authors like her; older books, mostly my mum’s books from when she was a child, and things from my hometown’s very, very outdated library. So they had a huge impact on the way I learnt to write (they also had an impact on the way I talk too, but that’s another story). More recently, the whole tone and way that fanfic in general is written has really influenced me, and I’d like to think I’ve adopted it and made it my own in a good way.

6. What time is the best time to write? Day, night? Morning, evening?

Evening/night; some days, I cannot focus until like 8pm when I go to bed. And then I lose sleep because I’m writing but y’know. For editing/typing up, that’s a late afternoon kind of job.

7. Is there anyone IRL that you let read your work?

I have a group of friends that I’ve known for 8 years now that are allowed to read my work. We used to rp together and all used to write and so we all know how bad we were back in the day xD. One girl from that group has been my friend since kindergarten, so she has always had me shoving handfuls of words in her face. There’s been a few other friends that have read some of my stuff, but not all of it, and the older I get, the less I share.

8. How do you handle negative or unhelpful reviews or critique? Does it impact the way you write?

I’ve never had any negative response, so I don’t know. The silence when you’re 4 chapters deep and no one has reviewed is deafening though.

9. Do you respond to every comment/reply you get? If not, which ones get your attention and why?

I only respond to the long/sincere ones, because I feel like they deserve some encouragement in return for taking the time to really let me know what they thought.

10. Ever gotten weird, unsolicited messages asking to join an RP group or some such because this person apparently read your writing (but probably didn’t)?

Hah. Once or twice.

11. What is your favorite platform to post your writing, talk about writing, or anything like that?

My favourite place to post and to read by far is AO3 - but I find the best platform to get feedback on is FF.net. My favourite place to talk about writing is over here on tumblr.

MY QUESTIONS

How do you get yourself to focus on writing?

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

Tell me about your current WIP.

Do you write for yourself or for an audience?

Do you share your writing with anyone you know in real life?

What’s the nicest comment/review you’ve ever gotten?

What platform do you prefer to post your work on?

Do you plot or pants?

What have you learnt while writing your stories?

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?

Can you give a spoiler for your WIP?

Tagging (from writer peeps) @converginglives, @pen-in-hand (if you want another one I think mel got you xD), @aethryos, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @siriusguided, @insertpenname-here, @indecentpause, @writing-at-dusk @sillyliterature @anoddconstellationofthoughts @writingtomorrow

#if you join ffh #the referral number is 24 #;)#tag game #nah for real though this was fun

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hufflepuff-ish · 5 years

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The Skam 11 questions tag (don’t quote me on this, I just wanted to give this a title lol)

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

Thank you @hufflepuffsh for tagging me babe x (lowkey would love to know your answers to my questions but don’t want you to be tagged twice lol)

1. Which remake/og sqaud do you think you would personally fit into the most?

This is such a difficult question, oof. So I’m shy, but I’m also a good listener, and I try to be supportive of my friends, sometimes I’m more with myself between my own shell but I also like loosening up and having fun. I think because of that my answer is Skam NL’s squad (honesly maybe it’s just because I’m biased lol). They’re so accepting and loving, and I feel like their general energy is similar enough to mine (but way cooler), so I think they’d just accept me as I am and they would be easy for me to get along with.

2. What is your favourite remake and why?

Skam NL. S2 was definitely a journey and I didn’t like all of its aspects, but I just love the dynamics between the characters, the aesthetics, the music choices, the cinematography, and the characters are probably the closest to my heart out of all the remakes.

3. What is objectively the best remake and why?

Probably Druck. They have great actors, they make changes but still keep the main issues of every season, their have great music choices, their social media team is great and that’s just what comes into mind.

4. Opinions on each of the girl squads?

SKAM NL - where do I even start??? I love each one of them soooooooo much. I love them all together even more. I don't even need anything, just give me scenes of then together and I'll be thrilled. (GIVE US A THIRD SEASON). Each girl is really her own character and they definitely stand out to me when compared to the other remakes.

SKAM ITALIA - I have a complicated relationship the squad. I love them but it feels like I’m watching a group of college girl. Silvia isn't a character that I like too much, though the actress is cute. I like Eleonora, but that's pretty much it. My favorites are probably Eva and Federica (I relate a lot to Fede because of her looks). They have a good dynamic, though not as much as the Italian boy squad. They maybe feel a bit less close in my opinion. Also, the writers always make me feel like Federica is only there to give them information on stuff and make a joke here and there, so if they would have put more thought and effort into her character maybe it’d feel like the squad is more,,, real if you will.

DRUCK - hi, I'm controversial on main. I... don't really care for them as a squad?? They're cute but I don't feel much of a connection to them (as a squad), or to their friendships. No idea why. I do find them interesting as individual characters, though and seeing them happy at the end of s3 was great. I'm definitely excited for s4.

SKAM FRANCE - s4 ruined them for me. I liked Emma in s1, Manon was always nice in my opinion, Daphne was getting on my good side in s3, Alexia has always been one of my favorites in this remake, and Imane is absolutely great. Then their friendship got ruined. But, if I'll ignore s4, they were a squad that I enjoyed watching and I really felt like each girl had her own thing, and that they were more of a group of random girls brought together than the og squad.

SKAM AUSTIN - I honestly love them more than I realize. Their friendship has a lot of growing to do, but I loved the scene when Grace confessed to them about Daniel's brother. Within the squad I probably like Jo's relationships the most, partly because she's my fave and partly because she just has a really loving heart. The other girls aren’t may favorites out of all the remakes but they have a warm corner in my heart.

SKAM ESPANA - They’re my Spanish babies. I love them and they just seem like this cute and cool girl squad. They’re not perfect and there are definitely things to come, no matter who’ll be the main of s3, but they love each other a lot and I think that they’ll grow together as individuals.

WTFOCK - I'm not the best person to talk about this remake because I missed like half of s1, but whatever. They remind me a bit more of the og squad, and I love the friendships between Hanna and Zoë, and Zoë and Yasmina. I don't really like Luka, I can't really explain why but she doesn't really feel as part of the squad to me, and Amber is just okay.

5. Favourite hairstyle out of all the remakes? (this includes any hijab styles of the Sanas)

I love Cris with her hair in a low ponytail, and I love the half up hairstyle that Skam NL uses a lot. When it comes to hijabs, so far my favorite was Sana’ s in the og’s s4 when it was a bit loose under her chin because it really fit her well.

6. Who do you think from og/remakes would have a youtube channel and what would they post about? (not including hei briskeby or lucas rubio’s yt channel)

Liv could totally have a music youtube channel because I feel like that’s realistic to starting musicians these days.

I can see the Italian boy squad having a youtube channel where they post vlogs and pranks lmao.

Sam could totally have a beauty channel where she does hauls and stuff.

Basile would have a youtube channel for pranks and magic tricks (idk why but I can really imagine him doing magic tricks????? lmao)

7. Pick someone you think is underappreciated from og/remakes and explain why you think they should be appreciated more.

Hmmmmmm another difficult question. I’m going to ignore the fact that I’m only supposed to mention one character.

The balloon squad - they’re honestly the most refreshing Muslim representation that I’ve come across because they’re just this bunch of dudes who run a hilarious youtube channel and love to have a good time. I love them SO MUCH and I wish we got an Elias season so we could get to know them better. Highkey my favorite boys from og Skam.

Federica - I probably talked about it enough times but she’s so underappreciated. The actress (Martina) is gorgeous and Federica is a ray of sunshine that the fandom tends to ignore. Also, I want to know how she knows so much about almost everything that’s happening in their school.

Shay - She’s definitely the most underrates Isak. Hopefully s3 will happen and she’ll be the main, so she’ll be more appreciated. Personally, I’m on the fence about how I feel about Shay, but I would watch the hell out of her season and getting more music from her, Marlon and Tyler would be amazing!

8. Favourite outfit/clothing item?

Isa’s green scarf, and honestly, any scarf/coat that the og girl squad wore because they always seemed fluffy, warm, comfortable and had pretty pastel colors.

9. Which character do you think is most similar to you?

Physically, it’s definitley Federica in terms of height and her and Hanna in terms of body size. Aside from that, the characters that I feel I'm most like are Hanna, Martino and s1 og Eva. The three of them are pretty simple, dare I say “””boring”””, and that’s how I see myself, lol. Also, Martino has this keeping things to himself things that he does and I relate to the hell out of that. Hanna has a really soft and nice vibe, which I think can be said about me haha.

10. Do you like the Eva season (season 1)?

Yes! The more remakes I started watching, the more I realized that I actually really like s1 because we get to see the girls becoming friends, and there are a lot of iconic scenes in s1 (Noora dragging William, the girl squad fighting with Chris’ girlfriend) and I learned to appreciate Eva’s journey to becoming her own person.

11. (Insert your own question that you’d like to answer!) Which representation do you think Skam should show other than the existing ones?

I don’t remember if I ever posted about this, but I would LOVE to see a Jewish character in one of the remakes. I think this idea can have so much potential (and I’m part Jewish so I’m biased) because there are really interesting things that could be discussed and shown - anti-Semitism from what I know is becoming more popular again and I’m always waiting to see if one of the remakes (especially Skam France, Skam Austin and Druck) will discuss it, and a Jewish character could have a really interesting relationships with the Sana character and they could have great conversations about the expectation from them and that judgement they get from people inside and outside of their religion.

My 11 questions:

If you could create an ultimate girl squad, who out of the skam universe would be in it and why?

If you could change one thing in each remake, what would it be?

What is one plotline that you wish to see in a remake of your choice? (go wild lol)

Which side character would you want to have their own season?

What do you wish the fandom would appreciate more in each remake? (could be a season, a character, a scene, anything)

If you could create a crossover between the og/one of the remakes and a movie/tv series/book, what would it be?

A crack ship that you wish would happen?

Is there a character that is very different from you/you never thought you would like, but you ended up loving?

What is your favorite friendship?

Do you read any og/remakes fanfiction and if so, do you have any favorite fanfictions?

Would you have preferred if Skam worked a bit more like Skins did, in terms of every character gets a full episode from their pov instead of an entire season?

I’m tagging: @lonelyfridays , @matteohnah, @feelinsorad, @amystylezz, @eliottlallemant, @xxviii-xi-mcmxcviii, @lil-milkovich, @spockhasfeelingstoo, @miaundalex, @pampammmxum, @vnesshudgens, @promisethestraz but of course only if you want to and if anyone who’s not tagged wants to answer these consider yourself tagged!

#skam #tag #personal #it's honestly the best tag I've come across cause original questions are super interesting

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stefano-and-obscura · 6 years

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This is NOT Okay: Bullying someone over fanfiction and over what their friends said.

Unfortunately it has come to my attention that a mutual of mine was being harassed both on here and on AO3 because of her Stefano Valentini Randomness Stories, and this sad, pathetic waste of space below tried to JUSTIFY it. What they put is absolutely sickening. [I wound up using strong language in my responses, so I am sorry you have to read those words.]

More under the cut because this is getting long

Look, my friend didn't tell me she was called "basement dweller," and I don't care who did it. That person's ass is grass whether you like it or not. She didn't complain to me about it. I found it myself and acted

If your friend didn't tell you, that meant you actually read it and you saw who REALLY called her a basement dweller, which makes it all the more fucking pathetic you're harassing someone JUST because of what a fan of theirs told your friend!! Where's the justification for THAT?? You just wanted an excuse to hate on someone who wrote what you didn't like, and instead of being the LOGICAL person and confronting the one who insulted your friend you went after the person who had nothing to do with it.

Your friend brought that on herself; she commented something rude, someone else defended the author, and your idiotic little rat brain decides to go after the author???????

That's like me going after YOUR FRIEND because of YOUR BEHAVIOR. I feel so, so sorry that your friend has to put up with a fucking overly goddamn worthless piece of shit like you who thinks its okay to bully others because "MAH FWENDS!" How fucking old are you???????

I'm gonna get this straight once and for all: we did NOT tell her to delete her story. We did not just choose to target her because she was who she was. We just found a crappy story and left our comments.We are just as entitled to our opinions.

From the comments I saw when she linked me I saw you fucking assholes DID tell her to delete her story!! You're just fucking lucky she deleted the whole damn thing because she didn't want to deal with drama anymore, but you are lying through your teeth. You CHOSE to target her because "lolz shitteh storie!" which itself is an EXTREMELY shitty reason to harass someone in the first place and tell therm to delete something they're working on. You're a sick fuck, you all are, because if you think its justifiable to harass people based on how badly their story is written you don't deserve the privilege of being online at all.

You can leave your shitty opinion WITHOUT harassing the author, doncha know?? There's CONSTRUCTIVE criticism (which nobody there used) that your dumb fucking asses could have used instead of "THIS SUCKS DELETE YOUR STORY DELETE IT NOW" like a bunch of enraged toddlers who are pissy that they can't get what they want.

Instead of ignoring us and deleting them, she turned it into drama. So, immediately, by that alone, that in turn caused her white knights to do what they have been doing.

This just in: Apparently people CANNOT offer their own reason for doing the way it does without "turning it into drama". You bastards were the ones who turned it into drama by harassing her still, people defending themselves against hateful comments (aka "DELETE YOUR SHITTY STORY") is NOT causing drama. You got pissy because she told you off and gave her reason, so you decided to bully her all because "wahh my fee fees hurt!"

And yes, she could use a little bit of real world. Everyone gets depressed, everyone gets anxious. She's not special. Everyone gets a little fragile here and there,

You're one of the stupidest motherfuckers to ever stupid.

Because of her fragile mental health due to her condition, the poor girl deals with enough ‘real world’ shit at home. There’s a reason that people come online, to escape that, and sorry, bullying is not ‘real world’. It is something that happens in the real world, but its not normal and should never be okay to do at all, not even online. (Where it can get worse than real world bullying because smug rat bastards like yourself think you can hide behind a wall of anonymity until someone dies from it, in which case you’re held responsible)

You have NO understanding of mental illnesses! There's a difference between "I'm feeling sad! I'm feeling nervious!" AND A DEBILITATING MENTAL ILLNESS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO BE ON MEDICATION FOR.

One of your friends being "sad" is NOT the same as someone struggling with depression! One of your friends feeling nervous sometimes is NOT the same as someone dealing with near-crippling anxiety!

Nobody takes medicine for being just sad and just nervous, and everyone gets a little fragile here and there??????? There's a big fucking difference from being at a low point AND HAVING YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS AFFECT YOU SO BADLY THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, AND THERE'S A REASON WHY MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE ARE STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES.

With you and your friends' fucking harassment YOU COULD HAVE BULLIED THIS GIRL TO SELF HARM and frankly I wouldn't be surprised if you already did, ALL OVER A STORY YOU HATED AND SOMEONE ELSE'S COMMENT.

How many people have you done this to? How many people did you indirectly kill because you bullied them to self harm and suicide?

and no. Saying a bad story is bad is not bullying. It is not. You're just calling it bullying because she said it was. You're just functioning on her vocabulary.

HMMMMM apparently telling someone to delete their story over and over, spamming her and leaving other hateful shit isn't bullying?? You're fucking delusional. You outright admitted to it that she had to get hurt. You planned this, you and the rest of the sick fucks in your pack decided to BULLY her over something so incredibly stupid.

And you know what? All of my friends have medically diagnosed problems too, not just "depression" and "anxiety."

And you know what?????? Everyone experiences mental illnesses differently, some worse than others! And goody goody, your friend has BPD?? So does my mother, who, because of her BPD, has physically and emotionally hurt me, other people and herself, and she attempted SUICIDE because it got that bad!

Meanwhile judging from YOUR attitude and lack of understanding (or plain ignorance) towards mental illness, either your friend has VERY mild, manageable BPD or your friend doesn't have BPD at all! None of your friends do, or if they DO, they either have it under control or they know what kind of shitty bitch you are and keep it hidden from you because they know you'll treat them like absolute trash otherwise.

YOUR ACTIONS have only worsened the girl's mental state, and you don't care at all because "Ha ha my friends handle it better/don't have anything so YOU should be able to do the same by my neurotypical standards uwu"

I'm not a white knight. I'm her best friend.

You may be her "friend" (Which I doubt because unless you're hiding that side from her, ,who wants to be friends with something like you?) but you still white-knighted by jumping in where your ass didn't belong. Not only that but you went after the WRONG PERSON, IF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT BECAUSE OF THE BASEMENT DWELLER INSULT!!

Judging from the fact you KNEW it wasn't her who called your friend a basement dweller (which is a stupid fucking thing to get offended over unless you're 12) You didn't attack her for the basement dweller thing at all, did you??

You saw an opportunity to attack her because of her shitty story (as if you didn't already do the whole "DELETE YOUR STORY IT SUCKS" bit) and find a way to justify it.

It was never about the basement dweller thing, as far as I see. If it really was why did you bother attacking her some more instead of going after the person who made the comment?????? You said so yourself, your friend didn't tell you, you saw it!

And no, if she can't just delete comments and not cry over them for hours, I'm sorry. She has no business writing fanfiction. I repeat, she has NO BUSINESS writing fanfiction.

I'm sorry but if you can't dislike someone's story without harassing them and bullying them for hours, I'm sorry, you have no business being online. I REPEAT, you have NO BUSINESS BEING ONLINE.

Yeah, her writing isn't exactly my favorite either, but guess what?? She can improve at writing!! You? You'll always be a sad, unwanted worthless shitty waste of egg and sperm.

I am not bullying the girl.

And I’m totally not typing this sentence online and posting it to a website called tumblr!

I am criticizing her writing and her method of grabbing fans by lying to them, pandering to them, and forcing them to bend to her every will.

“This sucks delete your story!” isn’t criticizing, dumbass.

Grabbing fans by lying to them and pandering them, and forcing them to bend to her will? I call bullshit on all of that!

First let’s address the pandering accusation. You have FANS, you write content the FANS WANT. As a FANFIC AUTHOR, I mean that’s basically your job, its not pandering, its supply and demand. If that was true then everyone writing Stefano Valentini fanfic because people like Stefano are now fan panderers!

Also, how the fuck does she lie to them?????? I don’t fucking see it!!

-She actually does write these in second person, signifying the READER is the one in it. (I dislike those stories a lot for obvious reasons, is that your beef with it too?)

-Its not in chronological order either

She’s not lying to them, and HOW is she fan-pandering if there ISN’T any fan pandering????? All I see is stuff SHE wants to write, and lemme guess its only “fan pandering” because of second person perspective?? That’s bullshit.

Manipulation? I’ll believe it when I see it, bitch.

She is manipulative and dangerous. I would even advise you to stay away from her because you're giving in to her. That is all I'm gonna say.

“She is manipulative and dangerous, I would even advise you to stay away from her!” Cries the idiotic bully-bitch who’s been harassing the user over a STORY and claiming its for a “basement dweller” comment that she didn’t even write herself.

Yeah, I’m TOTALLY gonna listen to a person who bullies others!!

You’re the only manipulative and dangerous one here. You said you didn’t care if she gets hurt, that she needs a bit of ‘real world’. People like you are the ones who cause people to commit suicide, or cause those people to turn into murderers because they lost the value for their own lives as well as others, because believe it or not, SpaceUndies, your actions DO have consequences!!

I only know this because I've known people like this.

Are you seriously fucking 12? You're not the only one who's dealt with people like this!

I've had internet access since late 2012, you honestly don't fucking thing I've encountered a lot of dangerous, manipulative people??????? I'm really good at picking out manipulative people based on several behavioral patterns I've observed in the ones I met (and including a guardian of mine who's warped me so badly as a child that I still am suffering from her actions to this day) and I can tell you FLAT OUT that, as far as I am seeing right now in front of me, the only manipulative bastard is you.

You're unhealthily obsessed with harassing people and claiming "uM SOMEONE ELSE CALLED MY FRIEND A BASEMENT DWELLER" and white-knighting because "I'm sticking up for a friend!"

I've dealt with enough useless wastes of human DNA like yourself to know which ones need to be kept away from the internet and other people, and you're one of them.

Ignoring the fact that Basement Dweller isn't even a viable insult to any degree and is in no way harmful, I can only imagine how much you fly off the loop when something a tad more different happens.

You're dangerous and you need to have your psych evaluated. First it starts with hurting people online, then real life bullying, an then you'll be kidnapping and murdering people for minor infractions.

They would threaten themselves and their own lives just to get attention. She is doing the same.

That is where I got you, bitch.

She never threatened her own safety, at all. I just mentioned that-because if your stupid little incompetent ass bothered to read, I said she COULD do that, because that's what people with fragile mental health DO! They're more prone to self harm and suicide due to BULLYING which you said she needed some of.

Also, this goes to prove how much of an idiotic bastard you are.

"Hurr durr if someone I don't like is having issues and does say about self harm THEY FAKIN'!"

Guess what? Your friend SUPPOSEDLY has BPD. I bet that every time they get on the verge of self harm THEY'RE FAKING. Do you think the same too, or are they somehow magically the exception??

I would say get out while you still can. But hey, if you just think I'm a bitch for defending my BPD friend, so be it. At least she can change and adapt to life. Like I said, I don't protect because they ask me to. I do it because I want to.

You're a bitch because you're BULLYING someone! Sorry tootsie-pop but bullying is not the same as defending, NOT TO MENTION you're "defending" her from the WRONG PERSON. You fucking ADMITTED that you saw everything and YOU ADMITTED you didn't care who sent that message! You're not even bullying her for the basement dweller comment, you're just bullying this girl because you hated the story.

Also what does your BPD friend have to do with it?? She didn't even come to you about this which shows she wasn't upset! Her BPD HAD NO PART IN THIS, you're just using that as a "HA HA GOTCHA" card against someone with another mental condition. Because of your SHITTINESS towards symptoms and conditions and claiming "EVERYONE gets like that sometimes!" I actually, truly, honestly do believe your friend DOESN'T have BPD at all, you're just lying through your teeth, because otherwise you would have known about the whole "Mental illness symptoms are FAR DIFFERENT from regular mood stuff!"

Your friend can adapt and change in life?? What a coinky-dink, so can the author!! I mean she has to in order to survive with her condition, but that doesn't mean she HAS to put that guard up 24/7, ESPECIALLY online where most real world bullshit shouldn't have to happen.

Your logic never lines up and it doesn't make sense. You KNEW she had fragile mental health but you kept pushing her to the FUCKING BRINK because you could, like any other evil bastard who just wants to watch people suffer.

You don't care for your friend at all, judging from the above, you're only using her as a pathetic excuse. You just wanted a reason to hurt someone over a little story you personally hated. You don't care about other peoples' mental health, you truly don't care if blood is spilled over it because "They deserved it because SOMEONE DIFFERENT called my friend a meanie word that little kids use :( "

You never experienced online bullying, but for this alone and the fact you knowingly bullied someone with fragile mental health because "she deserved it", I hope you experience it. I honestly do hope that, for as long as you continue being online, you get some "real world" from other people no matter what you do and what you say. I want you to go through as much bullshit as you put this girl through, and when you go to other people about your issues, they laugh in your face and tell you the same thing you've said above.

#tw long post #long post #bullying #tw bullying #Stefano Valentini #tew2 #I have every right mind to block and report you for bullying and by god if you don't thik I won't you're sadly mistaken #because I got enough proof right here #discourse #sorry for the rant

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distant-rose · 6 years

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Hello. Hi. You're a goddamn delight. Random numbers! 2, 4, 7, anddddddd 13. They might not be random numbers.

Oh you! I see you! You’re the best and I adore you. We’ve established this many times. I’m pretty sure the entire internet is aware of our love and that tumblr is fucking jealous of the majestic nature of our friendship which is why it doesn’t let me know when you update anymore. Silly tumblr.

2. things that motivate you

The amazing encouragement I get from my friends. I have a wonderful circle of friends who constantly encourage me to write crazy shit I probably shouldn’t be writing and tell me to keep going. I only hope that I help them as much as they help me. I would be a lost lamb in the fandom forest without them.

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

1. @welllpthisishappening, I don’t know if you’ve heard of this person Laura but she’s amazing and writes some of the best sports fanfiction in the world. She may or may not be my best friend. Anyway, I once wrote a crazy long review on one of her fics and this weird friendship kinda spawned from there. And one day I had the courage to tell her my thoughts on things and she encourage me to actually post them on the internet and without her I would never posted fanfiction like ever. All of my thoughts would just have been left my brain to rot. So, yeah, this crazy hockey-loving New York inspired crazy lady is the entire reason my words are on the internet.

2. @katie-dub, another amazing person who helps with my crazy plotting and gives me amazing suggestions. She’s super awesome and is actually the first person to ever talk to me on tumblr. She read my opinions on how salt I get when CS writers ignore Henry and pointed me in the direction of her amazing superhero fic “The Masks We Wear.” I will never forget that conversation because I was on my way to a wedding for a college mate and I was thinking to myself the entire ceremony how I would rather continue that conversation than forced to deal with my mate’s relatives and not to mention her vegan reception. Anyway, Katie is great and has been incredibly helpful and influential on my more recent writing and story plotting.

3. @forestiyari inspired a lot of my unfinished work and the influence behind some of my more popular one-shots particularly one of my Henry centric fics and my detective!Killian/bailsbond!Emma fics. She’s amazing person who has gone through some difficult times and I just want everything to be okay for her and her kiddos. One of my biggest regrets is a Christmas centric fic I still have unwritten which involves a discussion on Santa that she gave to me as a plot bunny. I’m going to finish it someday…just for her.

7. early influences on your writing

Earliest and probably biggest influence on my writing is without a doubt the sheer insanity that is my family. There’s a lot of things in the LP verse that are based on real life events that happened to my family growing up. Sometimes look back on things that happened and I’m like “wow that actually happened.” So yeah, my weird ass family is my biggest influence actually. Oh! And that crazy person named Laura who was like “you should maybe post stuff instead of you know spamming me with random ideas all the time.”

13. hardest character to write

Snow. I’m going to admit it, I don’t understand Snow’s headspace a lot and I fear I write her super bitchy a lot because I’m not a fan of how self-righteous she is. However, I do try to tone down my personal feelings towards the character when I mention her or feature her but those moments are few and far in-between because I’m just not comfortable with the character.

drop a number in my askbox and I’ll answer asks for fic writers

#asks #answered #welllpthisishappening #meme bullshit #asks for writers

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pftones3482 · 7 years

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Oceans Away

Also posted on my AO3 and Fanfiction accounts. Under a cut for length

~~~~~

“I cannot believe that you guys got me this gig!” Lance squealed, punching Hunk repeatedly in the arm as they waited for Pidge to talk to the bouncer. “Seriously, how awesome are you guys?”

“I’d be more awesome if I left with my arm intact, buddy.”

Lance grinned sheepishly and pulled his hand away, fiddling with the end of his shirt instead. “Sorry, Hunk. How do you and Pidge know about this place, anyway? I’ve never heard of-“ he squinted at the neon rainbow sign above them “-the ‘Voltron Lions’ before. It’s not a strip club, is it?”

“Lance, if this was a strip club, do you think I’d be wearing this?”

Hunk and Lance glanced up to see Pidge standing there, her brother Matt alongside her with an amused smile on his face. His arms were crossed over a plain black t-shirt that said “Hey Bartender” along the back, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and converse. Really, if Lance was being honest, the only sexy thing about the outfit was the way Matt’s biceps strained at the sleeves. “Dude, there are some people who would pay you to wear that for them. Got the whole ‘dark and dangerous’ look down.”

Matt rolled his eyes, having put up with Lance’s commentary since he was pre-pubescent. “Whatever. You want that gig or not? I convinced Allura that you were a good singer, and she’s taking my word on it. I don’t want to be out of a job if-”

“Hell yeah I’m up for it!” Lance yelped, leaning down and scrabbling with his guitar case. Hunk adjusted his grip on the cart that was tugging their equipment and they followed Matt and Pidge inside, nodding to the mustached bouncer as they passed. He gave Lance a smile, eyes twinkling almost dangerously, and Lance decided it was probably best not to tease the guy about his facial hair.

“Allura’s over there,” Matt said, pointing to the stage. A dark skinned young woman was bent over something, platinum white hair pulled back into a ponytail and hands clenched around a pair of pliers. “Our mic stand keeps slipping, so she’s trying to fix it.”

“I’ll go help her,” Pidge offered, darting away before anyone could argue.

Lance glanced around the room curiously while Matt led them to the back room that was used to store the band’s equipment when they had live music.

It was very clearly a nightclub that you had to hear about to get in, as there weren’t all that many people there yet. Granted it was only about 9:30, but still. The dance floor was checkered with red, black, and white tiles, and the floor was lit with yellow, blue, and green lights that flashed in time with the music. A couple of people hovered around the edges, like they wanted to dance but weren’t quite sure if it was socially acceptable yet.

The main dining area, or at least, the area with the most tables and booths, was decorated in a futuristic chrome-y way, strips of pink and pale orange running up and down the booths and the chairs decorated with the same colors over white fabric.

Lions were all over the place; stuffed lions, photos of lions, sculptures, statues, female, male. A few patrons that passed Lance held glasses with roaring lion heads etched into them.

“What’s with the lion theme?” Lance found himself asking.

Matt chuckled. “Allura’s father, who owned the place before her, was super into lions and lion conservation. He was a zookeeper before he opened here, if you’d believe that. Actually, all of our tips we get go to zoos that preserve the lion population.”

“That’s really cool,” Hunk noted. “So like, Asiatic lions, or-?”

Lance tuned them out, finding the bar in the center of the room and running his eyes appreciatively over the body of the other bartender there, his arms bulging even more than Matt’s and his low slung jeans clinging to a nicely sculpted-

“Lance?”

Lance whipped his head back to Matt, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just been glossing over his coworker. “Yeah?”

Matt gave a smirk, as if he knew exactly what Lance had been doing. “Here’s the room. Only Coran and Allura and I have keys to it, so your stuff will totally be safe.”

He followed Hunk into the room, stopping and glancing back at Matt as the man grabbed his elbow. “Shiro’s straight, by the way,” he whispered, his tone teasing. “Married to Allura, actually. Trust me, I tried that.”

Lance was certain he was the color of a tomato, but before he could protest, Matt continued. “His brother, though? Totally hot. Totally gay.”

He left at that, leaving Lance to nearly fall over at his sudden escape. Flushed, he stepped into the room and helped Hunk unload the cart of the things that they needed, namely the amp and his guitar.

“What was that about?” Hunk asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Lance scowled and punched Hunk again, ignoring his protests. “Nothing, loser. Help me get this stuff to the stage.”

Hunk chuckled but left it alone, and they grabbed their stuff and followed the signs backstage until the came out through the curtains, in time to see Allura high five Pidge triumphantly. “Nice work, Pidge!”

“It was just a loosened bolt,” the girl said with a modest shrug but a proud smile on her face. “Just needed replacing. Oh, there you guys are. Allura, this is Lance and Hunk.”

Allura stood and dusted off her jeans, thin golden bracelets jangling as she held out a hand. “Pleasure to meet you,” she said cheerfully, shaking Hunk’s hand first. “Pidge and Matt have spoken highly of you.”

“I doubt that,” Lance laughed, gripping her hand and jolting when her grasp was stronger than he had anticipated.

Allura laughed. “Well, maybe most of the time. But I’m pleased you wanted to sing here. The customers always enjoy live music. Your set runs until midnight, and as long as you and your crew are of age-” she shot a pointed look at Pidge on that “-you are granted two free drinks per hour.”

They dug out their IDs while Pidge pouted and, after getting the go-ahead from Allura, started setting up their equipment. “It’s dumb that I do just as much as you guys and can’t get a lousy hard cider,” Pidge muttered.

Lance chuckled, ruffling her hair even while she squawked in protest. “Two more years, Pidgeot. Two more years.”

“Lame. Whatever. I’ll finish setting up while you guys go get food. Your set doesn’t start until 10.”

They thanked her and hopped off stage, mingling through the crowd to the bar and grabbing menus from the stand on the edge of it. “We should probably just get appetizers,” Lance noted. “Or at least, I should. Don’t want to like…puke on stage.”

Hunk glanced sideways at him. “Are you nervous, dude?”

Lance pursed his lips and his fingers tightened on the menu, eyes staying locked on the food options. “No way!”

Hunk raised an eyebrow and set his menu down, crossing his arms. Lance huffed. “Fine, maybe a little. I just…this is my first actual gig, Hunk. One that isn’t for a dumb birthday party or sorority event. Forgive me if I’m a little anxious.”

“If you sing as good as you look, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Lance froze and turned to look at the guy next to him, eyes wide. The guy clearly hadn’t intended to say that out loud, because as Lance watched, his face turned beet red. “P-Pardon?”

The guy swallowed, resigned to the fact that he had unintentionally flirted with a random singer, and glanced up with a sheepish smile. “Sorry. That was um…kinda rude. I just couldn’t help but overhear, and I’m just saying, I’m sure you’ll be good.”

A slow grin slid up Lance’s face. “Because I’m good looking.”

The beet turned to a cherry and Lance could see both Hunk and the bartenders getting a kick out of the spectacle. “Shut up,” the guy muttered, burying his head into his hands.

Lance laughed, all nerves gone, and nudged the guy. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take it as a compliment, coming from someone as hot as you.”

Okay, the cherry had turned into a fire, and Lance glanced away to give the man a second to compose himself. Matt had turned to help another patron, so he settled his eyes on the sexy bartender and winked. “Two of whatever he’s having. Hunk?”

Hunk ordered a Sprite (Lance made fun of him until he was reminded that Hunk was the designated driver and couldn’t very well work sound equipment if he was inebriated) and the bartender came back in a few moments with a drink that was startlingly purple, sliding one in front of Lance in the other in front of the embarrassed guy.

He leaned a metal arm on the counter, which honestly surprised Lance for a moment, and raised an eyebrow, lips twitching. “Juniberry Jamba. Don’t go getting my brother drunk, now.”

He sauntered away to Lance’s jaw drop and the other guy’s spluttered protest of, “SHIRO!”

Hunk snorted, picked up his Sprite, and walked back to the stage, probably to help Pidge with the rest of set up, and Lance turned back to the guy, who was stirring the drink with a hard set to his face. “Sorry about that,” he muttered. “He’s…over protective.”

Lance worried at his lip for a second before shrugging and taking a drink and damn, that was fruity. “Not a problem.”

He took a second to caress the guy’s form, realizing that this was definitely the guy Matt had been talking about. He could see the resemblance, in the nose and the hair and the eyes and very much in the ass. This guy was hot, but-

“How the hell do you get away with a mullet?”

Lance bit back the words the moment they were out, watching as the guy turned to him in what could only be described as slow motion. “Excuse me?” he managed, looking like he had gotten it before.

Lance swallowed a drink and tried again. “I…sorry. That came out wrong. I just…I’ve never seen a guy pull off a mullet attractively.”

All he received in response was a stare, and after a beat it was too stifling, so he thrust a hand out with a weak grin. “I’m Lance. Uh….Sanchez.”

“Had to think about that, did you?”

The smirk the guy gave him was sly, and Lance found himself smiling more easily as his hand was taken. “Oh yeah. Forget my name all the time.”

The guy laughed. “Keith Kogane. Shiro’s my half-brother, so like…free drinks.”

He said it with a shrug, lighthearted, and Lance felt something clench in his chest. “Um…yeah. That’s cool. I’m just…playing a set.”

Keith lifted an eyebrow. “So I heard. I meant it, by the way.”

“Meant…?”

“You’ll do great. And even if you don’t, no one will care.”

Lance snorted, lifting his glass to his lips and looking at Keith over top of it. “Why’s that?”

“They’ll be too busy staring at your ass.”

He nearly spit his drink out, freezing at the last second and practically choking it on the way down. “What?” he croaked out.

Keith was laughing, lithe fingers tapping the edge of his glass as he waited for Lance to settle down. “You heard me. Staring. At. Your. Ass. I should know. I’ve been doing it.”

He really should not have tried taking another sip to wash down the first. Matt and Shiro were both looking at him in amused concern, and while he’d love to have one of them perform CPR on him, just so he could say he’d been kissed by gods (or devils, if you believed in the temptation route) he was more focused on the incredibly attractive man in front of him. “Is that a…a hint?” he coughed.

Keith smirked and leaned on one elbow, looking up at the clock pointedly. Ten minutes before his set. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

Lance finally managed to collect himself, taking one last, long swig of the obnoxiously purple drink, and gave Keith what he hoped was a suggestive smile. “Like I’d let you leave.”

The smile grew. “Gonna stop me, pretty boy?”

He almost keeled over at that. “Count on it.”

Needless to say, his set went perfectly.

~~~~~

Six Months Later

“I did not!”

“Did so!”

Keith laughed as Lance tackled him, shoving the water balloon he had been holding down onto his boyfriend’s head, whooping triumphantly as the liquid spilled all down his hair and back. Keith snorted and grabbed Lance by the wrists, flipping him onto the grass. “Admit it,” he teased. “You can’t prove I hit you and not Hunk or Pidge.”

Lance stuck his tongue out, water rolling down his temples to the ground below them. “Fight me, Mullet.”

“Nah.”

He leaned over and kissed him instead, sweat and water and the odd taste of rubber invading their senses.

Seconds later, they were soaked to the bone and shrieking, spinning to find Pidge flinging the garden hose at Hunk and sprinting into Keith’s house, laughing her ass off.

Keith grinned at Lance. “Gang up on Pidge?”

He snickered and shut the hose off, picking up three water balloons in one hand. “Count on it. Hunk, come on!”

Hunk obliged happily.

~~~~~

One Year Later

“I did it!”

Keith glanced up from his astronomy text book as Lance burst into the apartment, face nearly split in two from the grin on his lips. It was contagious, and Keith found himself starting to smile. “Did what, exactly? Win the lottery?”

Lance scoffed and darted over to the couch, waving a manila folder in Keith’s face. “NO, loser! Better! Altean Studios signed me!”

Keith’s smile grew. “That’s great, babe!”

Lance kissed him excitedly before flopping back against the sofa and clutching the envelope to his chest. “Dude. This is the beginning to everything for me. For us.”

Keith chuckled, thumbing at the pages of his book and leaning on Lance’s shoulder. “How ‘us?’ I don’t do anything for the band.”

The sound Lance made in response to that comment was not remotely human, and while Keith was trying to figure out how vocal cords could produce such a noise, Lance jumped to his feet and straddled Keith, tossing the envelope to the couch and pressing his hands to either side of Keith’s face. He squished them in, forcing Keith to make a duck face, and set his eyebrows in a furrow.

“You,” he said very seriously, “are our biggest fan. You come to every rehearsal, every gig, every damn event, and you’re always there for me here, too.”

Keith tried to snort and pull back but Lance just held tighter, leaning down until their foreheads were touching and staring into his eyes. “I couldn’t do this without you,” he whispered. “I need you.”

Keith finally nodded and Lance lightened up on his squishing, kissing him again and then swinging his leg back to the ground. “This Rockstar has to go shower because he is gnarly,” Lance declared, shooting Keith a grin as he picked up his folder. “Feel free to join me.”

“Nah. I’ll be here, studying for my exam, like a good student.” He paused, watching as Lance sauntered towards their room with more swing in his hips than necessary, and then shot a sly smile at his boyfriend’s back. “Or maybe I’ll be in our room. Waiting.”

Lance glanced over his shoulder with an evil smirk on his face. “That a promise?”

“Count on it.”

~~~~~

Two Months Later

“Keith? You okay?”

Keith glanced over to find Lance watching him, propped up on one elbow in bed with a curious look on his face. Keith smiled thinly and padded back over to him, leaning across the sheets and kissing him gently. “Yeah. Just…nervous. I have one year left, Lance.”

“I know. You’ll do amazing, babe.”

“But after I’m done with this program, I can apply to teach almost anywhere, Lance.”

Lance’s nose wrinkled. “Is that a bad thing?”

Keith slid back into bed and curled away from Lance. He didn’t flinch when the tanned arm slid around his waist and tugged him back against a bare chest. “No,” he admitted. “It’s just…I never thought I’d get this far.”

His voice broke and Lance kissed the back of his neck gently. “Hey. You’re amazing, you know that?”

Keith rolled over, linking an ankle with Lance’s and lifting a hand to drift over his lips. “I couldn’t have gotten through this without you. I wouldn’t even have passed last semester if you hadn’t helped me. I know you’re busy a lot now, but I really appreciate-”

“Hey. Get some rest. I know. It’s okay. I love you. I’ll be here when you wake up, and we’ll keep talking then, okay?”

Keith smiled thinly, pressing his lips to Lance’s nose. “That a promise, Pretty?” he yawned.

Lance laughed and pulled the covers up over them, tucking his head under Keith’s chin. “Count on it.”

~~~~~~

Six Months Later

“Do you want to go on a double dinner date with Shiro and Allura this Saturday?” Keith asked, looking up from his texting and following Lance as he paced the room, tossing things into a backpack.

Lance paused for a second, tongue peeking from his mouth, and then groaned. “Shit, I can’t. Rolo, Nyma, Hunk, and I have to be at the bar by eight for set up. We probably wouldn’t be done in time.”

Keith pursed his lips, glancing back down at his phone. “We could do brunch too, if that’s better. But Shiro and Allura work the day shift Saturday, so it couldn’t be later than eleven.”

“I have a gig running late Friday night, I’ll be exhausted.”

Keith slumped a little. He hadn’t seen Shiro in almost two weeks, and he missed him more than he cared to admit. Ever since Lance had started playing more than just the Voltron Lions club, he had been with his sibling less and less.

Lance faltered and put his bag down, kneeling on the bed next to Keith and kissing his temple gently. “I’m sorry babe. I really am.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

He took Hunk with him to brunch.

~~~~~

Three Months Later

“Europe?” Keith snapped. “You’re going to Europe?”

Lance, misunderstanding his irritation for excitement, grinned. “Yeah, isn’t it awesome? Hunk and Pidge are both coming too. I wish you could come babe, but Altean studios doesn’t-”

“Pay for significant others, I know,” Keith growled.

Lance finally seemed to realize that Keith was mad and his smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

Keith swallowed and ran a tense hand over his jaw, struggling to stay calm. “You’re missing everything, Lance. My birthday, Christmas, New Year’s, my graduation. Do you even care?”

He looked like a fish out of water in that moment, mouth opening and closing, and then Lance’s disbelief slowly turned to anger. “This is my first international tour, and you’re worried about New Year’s?”

“That’s not the point, Lance!”

“Then what is the point?”

“I don’t see you anymore!” Keith shouted, clenching his hands at his sides and fighting not to shake. “You care more about your stupid music than you care about me, you always have!”

“Stupid?” Lance shrieked in outrage. “Fuck you! God, Keith, I have the chance of a lifetime! I knew you couldn’t afford to come, so I was going to Skype you every night, call you all the time, text every day. But apparently I’m supposed to drop every chance I get because someone has abandonment issues from when his mother left his sorry ass!”

Keith froze and Lance took a huge step back, a look akin to shame falling over his features. “Keith, I-”

“I think we should take a break.”

The words were soft but certain, and Keith looked away as he said them, fingers trembling. Lance winced, moved a hand out, and then pulled back. “I…if that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“Okay.”

“…okay.”

Lance picked up his bag slowly, watching Keith with cautious eyes, and shouldered it, heading to the door. He paused, hand on the frame, and bit his lip. “I’ll uh…I’ll see you around.”

“Yup.”

It took every ounce of self-control for Keith to let him leave.

~~~~~

Two Months Later

“Voltron Lions, Takashi Shirogane speaking. How may I help you?” Shiro answered the phone, pressing it between his shoulder and cheek as he wiped down the counter.

“Hey Shiro. How are you?”

Shiro let a grin split his face. “Pidge! It’s great to hear from you! How’s Europe? We miss you here, even if Matt won’t admit it.”

Matt, wiping down the other side of the bar, flipped him off. Shiro returned the gesture and switched ears, leaning back on the granite behind him.

“I’m doing all right. I’ve picked up bits and pieces of tons of languages. But that’s not why I’m calling.”

Shiro frowned. “Is everything okay?”

Matt glanced over his shoulder, forehead wrinkled in worry.

“Oh yeah, no, I’m fine,” Pidge assured him. Shiro waved off Matt’s concern as she continued. “It’s actually about…um…could you and Keith get out here? Like…for the next concert? In London?”

Shiro nearly choked on his own saliva. “Pidge, that’s in like…two days!”

“I know, but it’s really important. Please. Hunk and I will pay for you guys. It’s…it’s Lance. I um…he hasn’t been so hot. Please just get here as soon as you can. I’ll transfer you the money, okay?”

“I…okay. Okay, we’ll be there.”

Shiro hung up the phone and ran his prosthetic down his face, flinging his towel at Matt’s back. “What is wrong with your sister?”

~~~~~

“I still don’t see why you dragged me to London,” Keith complained, crossing his arms as they waited to go inside the venue. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

“You don’t know that,” Shiro protested, handing their tickets to the person up front and leading Keith inside. “Besides, you’ve never been to London, and neither have I. Might as well see the sights while we’re here.”

“Right. That’s why you dragged me along.”

In reality, Keith wasn’t mad at Shiro for bringing him. He had been severely depressed the last few months. He had dropped his major and eventually been kicked out of college, going to work part time for Allura during the week instead. His astronomy books were collecting dust in the back of his closet, and every time he looked at them something nasty twisted in his gut. So he stopped looking.

When Shiro had abruptly pulled him from work and tossed him a suitcase and a change of clothes, saying they had a flight to London that evening, Keith had been certain he was going insane. But no, Shiro was very much telling the truth, and within six hours of the suitcase being thrown at his chest, they were tucked into a plane directly between a snoring old guy and a lady with a case of the sniffles.

Keith hated flying for the people alone.

When they had landed, it had been four am, but Keith’s body was telling him that it was barely 8 in the evening, so he and Shiro had found an all-night sandwich shop and gotten coffee and a couple of subs before finding their hotel and forcing themselves to sleep for the whole day.

And now he was at Lance’s concert.

He hadn’t talked to Lance since their fight, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been keeping tabs on his tour, watching his aired performances begrudgingly and tracking where he was going next. Hunk had kept in touch, texting every now and then to check up on him, and so had Pidge, and he appreciated it. He usually didn’t respond, or if he did it was a one word answer, but he was grateful that they still seemed to care.

The crowd around them was deafening as the opening act played, some band Keith had never heard of that honestly made him think music was a mistake. Shiro seemed a bit perturbed at all of the leather and cursing, which was amusing in and of itself.

“What if he doesn’t want me here?” he found himself asking again.

Shiro glanced down at him, looking relieved to have something to focus on other than the screaming punks on stage. “I told you, I’m sure he does. If he didn’t, he-”

“Shiro? Keith?”

They turned to find Hunk there, wearing a t-shirt that said “SECURITY” and holding a flashlight. His face lit up when he saw that he was correct, and the next thing Keith knew he was being swept into a crushing hug, one that, he would admit, made him feel a little lighter.

“I can’t believe you guys came!” he cried as he let go. “Pidge wasn’t sure you would!”

His eyes flickered over Keith and he frowned. “Dude, you okay?”

“Nervous,” Shiro offered.

Hunk nodded knowingly and waved as he was called away. The screamo band finally got off stage and Keith watched as Nyma and Rolo replaced them, Nyma on guitar and Rolo settling at the drums. He knew Pidge was backstage with a keyboard; she hated being on stage, plus backstage she could make all kinds of cool sound effects.

And then…

Lance.

When he strolled onto stage, the crowd started shrieking, and Keith was suddenly startled to realize just how many people were there to see him.

To see him.

God, he had missed seeing him.

He was wearing black skinny jeans and dark blue converse, a matching blue button down thrown over top of a white tee. His nails were painted red.

Red was Keith’s favorite color.

His breathing hitched as Lance greeted the crowd, voice smoother than he remembered it being, and he felt Shiro settle a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into his brother’s touch, shutting his eyes and nodding gratefully as the music started.

The total show was about two hours, during which Lance played mostly original music, with a few covers and a lot of bad jokes tossed in here and there. Keith didn’t even realize they had reached the end until Lance glanced ever so subtly off stage and then winked at the crowd.

“They’re booting me in a hot sec, y’all. So um…I just…I wrote this last song about a month ago, and I haven’t shared it yet because it’s…it’s personal. And there’s someone…someone I hope hears it tonight.”

The crowd quieted as Lance set his guitar down, letting Nyma take control of the chords and focusing his whole attention on the microphone in front of him, fingers curling around the base and eyes shutting for just a moment as he breathed.

“I never let my guard go down.

But you messed me up when you came around.

When the high wore off, know you needed space

But I don’t wanna wait, I don’t want a mistake.

Few thousand miles, and an ocean away

But I see the sunrise, oh, just like the other day.

Picture your eyes as I fall asleep, tell myself it’s all right

Oh-oh, as the tears roll by.

Ooh, I wish I could feel your face

Oooh, I’m helpless when I’m oceans away.”

At some point while Lance was singing, his eyes lifted and settled on Keith. He could see the exact moment Lance realized it was him, the way his voice trembled over the words, how his hands tightened around the mic, his body froze up. He kept singing, stare never leaving Keith.

“I learned to fake a smile as the time runs out,

I don’t wanna wait, I don’t want a mistake.

Few thousand miles and an ocean away

But I see the sunrise, oh, just like the other day.

Picture your eyes as I fall asleep

Tell myself it’s all right, oh, as the tears roll by.”

Keith swallowed and gave a weak smile, vision blurred by tears, and after a minute he worked up the nerve to push away from Shiro, through the crowd to the walkway. Lance kept his gaze trained on him as the song slowed, and Keith knew it was nearing the end.

He broke into a sprint, vaguely aware of Hunk holding back a security guard and murmuring something to him, and, as the crowd cheered, he vaulted up the steps to the stage three at a time, coming to a screeching halt in front of Lance and dragging him in for the longest, most violent kiss he could muster.

Shrieks of delight resonated from the audience as Lance laughed against his lips, lifting his hands to swipe his thumbs over Keith’s cheeks, wiping away the stinging tears that had finally fallen.

“I’m so-”

Lance cut him off, pressing a much gentler kiss to his mouth and then leaning their foreheads together. “Me too. How did you-?”

“Pidge.”

He chuckled again, taking a breath. “Of course. I should have known, that little shit.”

Keith’s eyes darted around Lance’s face and his resolve crumbled. “You wrote that…for…?”

“For you, you dummy.”

He wrapped Lance in a tight hug, pressing his face into his shoulder and probably getting tears all over his outfit. He couldn’t care less, especially when Lance lifted his hands to hug back. The roar of the crowd was faint, just a small reminder that they were not, in fact, having this moment in private, and then Keith stepped back, squeezing his hands. “I’ll be here when you’re done,” he promised.

Lance’s face split into a grin. “Like I’d let you leave.”

A smile played on Keith’s lips. “What, gonna stop me, pretty boy?”

Lance winked, causing another shriek to start, and curled his hand around the mic again. “Count on it.”

#my writing #klance #volton #voltron: legendary defender #voltron fanfiction #vld #long post

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illfigureitoutasigoalong · 4 years

Text

my flea dream lol

My weird dream

I had a “flea” dream last night lol. Once my sister had a dream that she was a flea and killed mufasa?? And woke up and was terrified but like the content of the dream was not scary. I had one last night which right now is a little scary. OMG so it wasn’t a nightmare because it was scary, but it was intense and my heart was beating fast when I woke up. So it started out really weird and the direct result of me watching too many episodes of breaking polygamy. I was on a date with an FLDS looking woman in a restaurant that looked gross and I would never go there in real life. What’s weird is that I’ve had dreams in this restaurant before? Anyway I was wearing an amazing cute outfit with a blazer at this date and my weird amish looking date looked…. Amish. And the waiter took her order and then looked to me and goes “are you a man or a boy?” And I was immediately offended hahaha I was just like “what??” And the waiter was like “suit jackets are for men.” I immediately left the restaurant and there was no other sight of my weird date. I got in my car (which was my old gold Honda RIP) and who is inside??? MY EX GIRLFRIEND. That’s when this turned into a nightmare tbh. My least favorite version of her was her when we were in the car and she was driving. In my dream though we were not dating we were just friends after dating. But she was acting weird and possessive and stuff like we were still together. She drove us around being literally the most annoying version of herself. She spilled coffee, got us lost, was extra Vegan, and just generally very annoying. She like had this “I know I’m right attitude” that I used to hate or more like “I don’t care if I’m wrong” attitude. Terrible. As we were driving to my dream house I just got more and more miserable.

THEN the number one reason we broke up, she invited herself to a family party that was being thrown at my house. (Also weird thing about my house in this dream is that it was in the field that used to be there before they built a Walmart on winterpok rd. Also all the women in my family were lined up with red Pizza Hut uniforms and name tags and everyone had a fluffy twist out like they had blowdried their hair??? (Probably another side effect of me watching too much breaking polygamy lmao because they all wear their hair the same on there. I remember members of my family there but also members from the country church we used to go to like 15 years ago. Honestly who even knows why they were also there. I was immediately excited to see all of them and forgot to be annoyed at S. I remember singing “10-20-40” to them as I walked by. Literally so weird.)

SO. As we were driving S had stopped at Pizza Hut which was on the corner in the dream and my dream solution was to run home before she could find me, and get into my weird house before she saw me so that one of my family members would intercept her. It semi worked? I snuck into the basement locker room of my house to (take a shower I guess) and I hear her coming in the alternate entrance. (Random memory about this dream, she was dressed like jojo siwa. Which is odd but its also totally how she would have dressed in like, high school. Literally why did I date this woman) And I see her legs under like a weird stall door that leads to the basement locker room and we start having a screaming match about her even being in my house which is when I woke up with my heart beating fast. I’m trying to even remember what I said but I remember a few parts?

S: “I can’t believe you didn’t wait for me!” (I guess to come into my house? What’s weird about this argument is that I felt the same guilty sense of dread that I used to feel when I didn’t feel like hanging out with her. Cool. Love that for me)

Me: ��I had a very not good day, which I know isn’t an excuse.” So eloquent of me. Brilliant grammar. I was referring to being called a man on my weird date, for some reason in my dream this really distressed me.

S: “That’s not an excuse!” (She had cut me off as I was saying the last part)

Me: “I JUST said it’s not an excuse and I’m fucking trying to apologize and you won’t let me!”

And that’s when I woke up. I wish I had stayed asleep longer because I was about to yell at her for 1. We aren’t dating anymore and she was no longer entitled to my time and 2. That she was always inviting herself into places that she just didn’t belong or didn’t fit. This would have gotten ugly so you know it’s probably for the best but still. lol.

So what do I do? I get up and read her reddit posts to make sure she’s still completely unrelateable and surprise surprise she is. So I am making it a vow to stop doing that because all it really does is just make me even more flabbergasted about why I even dated her for so long or even dated her at all. I know deep down that my reasoning was “eh, why not? I need girlfriend experience.” Instead of “wow I am actually interested in this person.” So yep. Never doing that again. And I know it’s terrible but I really want to date someone in my race next time. It’s just easier.

Also I have been thinking about downloading a dating app but I only want friends. I don’t feel like dating anyone right now and also I feel like in order to have a good time in a relationship I need to lose like 150 pounds. Anyway I typed this on my work laptop and I hope if someone reads this later they get a big kick out of it. Hahahah

Also! I text MB all day every day because I think we are both lonely. Yesterday on FT she said “I wish you were a man then we could date.” This really freaked me out. At first (like months ago) my brain was like “oh shit are we about to get a crush” but thank GOD I only feel friendship feelings for her. She’s just really young and very white and sometimes those things are glaringly obvious. It just freaked me out because it made me think like “oh should we be dating???” but the ultimate answer is no. not to mention a week or so ago we had a discussion where she thought i was always mad at her for being racist. But i have to call her out sometimes on the ignorant shit she says. Like ordinarily i would just let people get away with it but if we are gonna be as close of friends as we already are then you gotta know when you mess up. Sorry. But you do.

I was able to get a nintendo switch!! I am having a great time. I just wish my sister was able to get one too. I feel like I can’t be properly excited because she’s really bummed about not being able to get one. I am checking the site over and over again to see if I can get one for her. Also she’s bummed about her job role transitioning for the lend position. I would also be very upset but at the same time she should be just a little grateful for still having a job at this point. I would never say that though. And also i’m not in her shoes so I can’t really judge. I would be PISSED if I climbed my way up the ladder just to be stuck doing what I view as “non-degree work.”

This is terrible but finally the tables have turned in my favor? Hear me out ok. For years I’ve struggled with my health and my job. I was diagnosed with diabetes and high BP when I was 19. I graduated without a job, and worked 5 shitty and semi-shitty jobs for the past 5 years. Finally I have a job that I love (hopefully that lasts) that pays me decently, and I can afford my meds on my new insurance, I stay hydrated which makes me feel better and I’ve gotten really used to listening to my body. I also have accepted my health problems and I am really good at keeping a level head about things. Now though, all of the stuff I already went through and I am dealing with accordingly are happening to my sister and she is miserable. She had a shitty job change (it’s only temporary, but she is WALLOWING in it.) and was diagnosed with asthma. The inhaler gives her heart palpitations and she completely freaks out over them. I’m really not trying to be rude but at least you know they are a side effect and her heart isn’t just going crazy for no reason. But she has been in a terrible mood for weeks and every time she takes her inhaler she has like, an episode. First of all, my mom would have never let me get away with this behavior for so long because I’ve always been kind of sullen and panicky. But also I think sometimes my sister just really needs to grow up. Shitty things happen to everyone and you kind of just have to keep going forward.

AND speaking of growing up, we are trying to look at apartments in the same complex because I feel like honestly she will forget about me if we don’t live within walking distance of each other. I don’t know how much she gets paid but it can’t be much more than me. She’s looking at places with one bedroom that are like $1,500 a month.... like that’s the base rent price. She’s not even counting the security deposit and utilities. I tried to explain it to her and she’s like “I’m pretty sure all apartments cost this much around here.” I’m so sorry but no. They don’t. I’m not paying almost 2 grand a month to live where we do. That’s crazy to me. I found a place I like but she doesn’t seem to like it. I may just have to move there and just be sad for a while when she forgets to hang out with me.

Last thing I guess (since I should be working) I want to write a lesbian romance novel! I am in a bit of a book slump so why not write one of my own. Wouldn’t that be amazing if it could be published??? I have no idea how to write a book so honestly it’s a pipe dream but I was really good at writing fanfiction! It’s gotta be similar right?

#this was a lot longer than I planned it to be

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