#were adults

[eastsidepapi]

Normalize “I dont feel like it” being a more than valid reason to not do shit

#mine #if I give u an excuse this is the real reason why #were adults #lets stop lying to each other

[batslime]

you know after growing up w rammstein and it being my main fixation for several years in HS and pretty briefly being in the “fandom” (here actually bc twt wasnt rly a popular site for fandom stuff yet, i rly only remember tumblr and deviantart for that) it makes me rly glad i wasnt into ghost back then lmao

#putting aside everything thats happened surrounding rammstein and till in the past few years #like ppl are obnoxious and rude and say stupid shit to/ abt tobe and the ghouls #but that tends to be a v small fraction and ppl defend them #but this was early early 2010s tumblr before it was known for discussions of minorities and political correctness and whatever #ppl just said ANYTHING and others went along with it #and a lot of it was horrific fatphobia and misogyny brought over from the 2000s since most of the prominent ppl in the fandom here back then #were adults #i specifically seeing so much shit abt richard in particular #ppl acting disgusted w his body bc hed put on weight and had a belly/ bigger arms by the lifad era and was shirtless onstage a lot #which was always crazy given he stands next to till who has ALWAYS been a bigger guy yet indisputably been the most widely adored by fans #and oh my god the way ppl would talk abt their wives/ girlfriends. #even then as a teen inwas SHOCKED by some of that shit lmao #i vividly remember somebody making fun of one of richards exes #i think abt alleged unfaithfulness while touring which i dont know if there was ever any truth behind #i vividly remember somebody saying ‘if inwas married to him id send him on tour with a box of condoms bc its inevitable’ #LIKE GIRL WHAT #ppl complained so much and still do abt tumblr being so PC #but this was an absolutely LAWLESS place before then let me tell you #those examples are still on the tamer side for sure #kids today will never know how common it used to be to say you wanted somebody you were attracted to to rape you. #like rape THEM like not ‘i wanna fuck him’ it was ‘i want him to rape me’ #ABOUT REAL PEOPLE #it was insane

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now #there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??' #and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies #aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you #so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager #the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience

[kedreeva]

There's some dude (derogatory) on FB who is PISSED people are pricing their farm fresh eggs at $2 and $3 a dozen instead of $4+, saying it's "disrespectful" and "undignified" and "I'm trying to feed my kids" like Sir, you are on a Facebook group page bitching about your neighbors egg prices because your pet chickens aren't earning you a living wage and you think it's your neighbors' fault, you do not have a leg to stand on here wrt dignity.

Also half the answers are like "I give them to friends and family free" or "I donate them to food banks" or "I'm making them affordable to folks who might not otherwise be able to get them now that they're so expensive in the store" and "if you think you're going to turn a profit keeping backyard chickens you have been wildly misled" and so on, and so forth, and I'm so living for it.

and I can tell you right now, he did NOT like my answer of "if you're trying to feed your kids, I hear eggs are edible."

#chickens #like buddy you are never going to actually make a profit #and if by some miracle you do #it's going to be VERY SMALL #Considering the money you put into building or buying a coop #plus feed and bedding and equipment (waterers feeders perches etc) costs #egg cartons and enrichment and gas to go get the feed #the cost you (personally) probably put into building the egg stand you mentioned #a 50lbs bag of feed will feed 12 adult chickens for 8 days #12 chickens generally lay 6-12 eggs per day #usually less in the fall and may even stop in winter #a 50lb bag of feed is usually $12-15 #and you wasted the first 6 months going eggless until they were old enough to lay #and that doesn't factor in oyster shell or anything else you may need to do for them #like worming or treating for coccidia or anything #and doesn't take into account your time #like asjh;dsfkgdh you really thought you were gonna make a buck doing this??? #wank for ts

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[maddie-grove]

As someone who’s living with a middle school social studies teacher, all the posts along the lines of “why did we never learn about this historical event in school” just make me go “because your teacher was supposed to cover all of US history in one year, and they didn’t get to the Revolutionary War until Halloween because they were urged to slow down the progression of the lessons because a more senior teacher was running behind, and they didn’t get to the Civil War until Valentine’s Day because the school kept scheduling every special event during social studies because there’s no end-of-grade testing for that subject, and they didn’t get to WWI until May because they were sick for a few days and the substitute couldn’t do much more than babysit, and now they’re having to do the entire Cold War in two days, so that’s why you didn’t hear about the lesbian inventor of the circus peanut. They would have loved to tell you about the lesbian inventor of the circus peanut!”

#this is us-specific obviously #the thing about history is that no class can cover everything #and you can continue learning about it as an adult really easily #I had one shitty history teacher (bizarrely paranoid about communism and also very boring and he let jordyn l. bully me) #but the rest were good

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.

#I finished guards guards just yesterday and I forgot that vimes and wonse were set up to be mirror images #both boys from the shades of very different natures; who made good (ish) in wildly different ways #also it's interesting reading this books from an adult perspective; my mind isn't blown that these books exist #anymore; plus I've read so many good books since #and they're not perfectly constructed novels! especially these early books; #there are plenty of spots where I can feel the narrative get thin; where there's more handwaving than I remember #but each book IS better and tighter; the jokes are funnier and the irony sharpens; the footnotes are better utilized #the characters are getting more interesting and complicated as opposed to set-ups for jokes. #it's an illustration of someone getting better at their chosen field and that in itself is more impressive than I was anticipating. #discworld

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional #because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life #the dissatisfaction #the hoping for something more #something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work #it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us #and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out #exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see #there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper #I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well #😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters #and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist #when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them #to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well #Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too #I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult #my art #fanart #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna the human #cake the cat #simon petrikov

[bowenoke]

pov you are my brother and i's youth pastor circa 2014 when he called us The Sisters and then unprompted corrected himself to The Brothers and then said "i don't know. you could be anything!" in a room full of baptist teenagers

shout out to justin. what the fuck, man

#i understand this is not the intended purpose for this meme but The Siblings ..... #when u are a kid that is what adults in your life call you when you are two siblings close in age. The Siblings. #my last name is not smith #sorry for lying #for context he did not know we were both trans. he just did that for no reason

[vistarya]

Chicken size! 🐣

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck #flertom #puckpatti #meijack #chilchuck’s three adult daughters are so important to me #but even more important to me is when they were his three toddler daughters!!! #delicious in dungeon #my art #art #illustration #digital art

[kelocitta]

Anthro Au Survivor drafts feat. too much worldbuilding because I cant just put pants on a slugcat like a normal person & my godawful handwriting

The Survivor (Their full, scavenger-given name includes the 'The') was separated from their family while traveling between colonies and stranded in the dangerous unpopulated wilds. Against all odds they managed to survive (and wander) far longer than they should have been able, but rather than reconnecting with their (or another) slugcat family, they instead made contact with one of the many wandering scavenger troops- But unfortunately not one that had ever met a slugcat nor had any idea what to make of a stranded one. Regardless the group gave it their best, ended up committing to the role of slugparents, and The Survivor and their troop still consider themselves close family long after Survivor finally reconnected with their sibling. (They're a bit of a mess though, understandably)

#rain world #rw anthro #subject to change and sorry if you actually try to make sense of this #but since arti is more anti-scav and survivor is a lil 'plain' i thought mixing scavengers in them would be a fun thing to explore #with the vanilla slugcats #unfortunately it means survivor was a very confused child who is a still confused adult #Also just cause of the way this is set up I think they have reconnected with Monk at this point #making this all so much harder on myself by not just going 'yea theyre in high school they ride bikes and drive cars' instead im being weir #and theyre turning more to rw if the creatures were sentient enough to do taxes #scribbles

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for? #open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer) #maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already. #really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings) #(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time) #(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.) #(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

[deimosatellite]

#when we thought the atla MIGHT be ok after opla but it turns out opla is just an exception #HS9D8FUIPJLK #annie rambles #opla #one piece #avatar the last airbender #ive heard mixed reviews about the atla live action but the consensus feels like the writers werent in tune with the source enough #where opla it really feels like the writers understand op at its core so thus were able to transform it #but maybe thats just me #80U9DSFPOJKL #i have so many thoughts on how much i liked opla i should make a separate post but like. for one not disrespecting source by #saying that the new take is ''more for adults" or whatever / all that nonsense #and again just respecting source material feels like a major difference here

[foldingfittedsheets]

When I was getting my associates degree I took a course on human sexuality. It was really fascinating and wonderful. One of our assignments was to write about the first time we ever masturbated which was very uncomfortable and silly at the same time.

Mine was extremely boring because there’s nothing exciting about a five year old realizing that climbing the fire pole feels really good.

I told a coworker at the time about the assignment and she laughed and told me about her daughter. They had these really old dining room chairs with carved legs. The chairs had smooth wood bulbs going up them that the kid loved to rub on.

Her mom didn’t want to dissuade her or make her ashamed but she also needed to establish that masturbation should always be private. So she talked to her daughter and explained that she could do that but must do it in her room alone.

The result of which was that everyone was aware the girl was going to masturbate when she dragged the chair into her room to be alone with it.

My friends was my favorite though, because his discovery was in stages. He liked it when his penis would get hard as a kid because it meant he could grab it and pretend to be flying a helicopter. His aha moment was when this happened once in the shower and the grabbing plus soap made him realize something else might be going on.

That was funny on its own, but nothing could match when in the most betrayed tone he said, “It was so much more fun then, before stuff came out at the end.”

#ramblies #ffs foibles #funny #human sexuality #there were some stories that were much more smutty because people realized as adults #but a fair number of the class had kid stories #story #writing #funny story

[queenboimler]

#dimension 20 #critical role #the adventure zone #d&d #mine personally was TAZ: Balance #and it consumed my life #also reblog!! esp if you put other im so curious #/ i want to find new d&d stuff to watch/listen to!! #ive only played irl a few times bc it is SO HARD to get a group of busy adults on the same schedule #my real pipeline to dnd was: tumblr gifs of mcelroy tv show->mcelroy tv show->mbmbam->taz balancs #so really tumblr was what led me to my path of d&d #i didnt really discover d&d until i was an adult bc table top games and other board games were banned in my home growing up #my brother and i came to blows constantly over the lord of the rings edition of risk that my mom just said NO MORE