#what i SHOULD feel responsible for is trying to make the ppl in my irl community a little happier. and also trying to graduate high school. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

echoing-gravity · 11 months

Text

MLB X MCU AU in which Marinette gets revealed as Multimouse to the entire world

Because Alya cant be trusted to be responsible with a camera.

Every-fucking-one knows now. hawkmoth. her PARENTS. Hell even TONY fucking STARK knows she was a hero.

and then her parents make/force her to take Style queens offer to intern in NYC, because, from their perspective she is not safe in paris. and like- the AVENGERS are in new york so surely it must be safe there. so they pack up and move their entire bakery business.

and she ends up going to midtown high-school, where not to her knowledge, fellow teenage superhero Peter parker aka "Your friendly neighborhood SPIDER-MAN" goes to school.

Cute adorable shipping commences.

peter is all like "omg another teenage super hero???!!! like me???? i thought i was the only one???? transferring to MY school?!!! SO COOL!!"

"marinette is super smart, marinette is pretty, she was one of THE Miraculous Ladybug's sidekicks how cool is that??!, marinette is COOL!! maybe we can be friends? how am i gonna talk to someone that cool though?? i cant tell her my secret identity!!!"

insta-crush. peter is a marinette SIMP

(and yo, dont get on my case about marinette being super fucking smart, this is the girl who figured out she was getting a birthday party from just seeing one of her friends holding a bike pump. that girl is a tactical genius! she just has self esteem issues. they are both nerd, their just nerds about differnt things, let the nerds date!!!!)

of course Marinette still has the ladybug miraculous -even tho everyone thinks she doesn't have the rat miraculous anymore- and the miracle box. so she can still fight hawkmoth because the horse is basically fast travel irl, Space miraculous super conveintent.

(also concerning the mirsacle box, im going with my headcanon/Unlucky 13 AU on what that looks like post "ladybug becomes guardain" because that egg thing from canon? fucking lame

These ones^^^)

It would be canon compliant till season 2 and most? of season 3? but like fuck miracle queen, season3 finale + truth made me stop watching the show. so like in this au, lets just assume Fu is dead, and ladybug has had the miracle box for some time now. and that they got the miraculous when they were 13, and are currently 15? yeah? okay.

(also prolly chat salt, it doesn't HAVE to be chat salt, but like- He. Keeps. Trying. To. Quit. And leave all the work to marinette!!!! its happened like 3?? times now? Marinette CANT quit!!! its literally "do this or lose all your memories!!!" she is being held hostage by a fucking magic box full of responsibilities no 15 year old should have to deal with.)

I headcanon that marinette stress-bakes, so like cute scene number #1 after peter and marinette become friends, could be something like "marientte stresses for a test, and then bakes to much food so her parents make her take it to school to share with her peers, and she ends up giving like- 1/2 of them to parker, becuz of his super high metabolism.

and how marinettes got her whole "i'm RESPONISBLE!!! for the whole fucking universe now, omfg i'm the reason fu is basically dead" angsty shit going on which kinda parallels peters whole "i have super powers, and if i dont do something to help then its my fault if someone gets hurt, like how my uncle died. With great power, comes great RESPONSIBLITY!!!" angst. maybe they could trauma bond. who doesn't like a good hurt comfort trauma bond fic?

marinette likes designing fashionable but also functional clothes.

peter likes designing gadgets and techy things. let them be nerds together!!! in love!!

i feel like they would be the kind of couple/friends to just ramble on about their passions and they would listen to each other even tho they dont know much about each others interests yet. (also hey what if marinette and peter co designed one of peters early suits pre-stark suit??? the fucking writing potential this ship has omfg c'mon ppl!!! why are we sleeping on this??)

oh! and maybe peter figures out that marinette is also ladybug -but later on- cuz like, he has superhearing? and tikki isn't as subtle as she thinks she is.

and then he's all in awe like "Wow holy shit!!! she made her ladybug secret identity FOOLPROOF!!!! no one would ever fucking suspect!! maybe she can help me with mine???"

Fox miraculous shenanaigans insue????? The daily Bugles next headline be like: "SPIDER-MAN SAVES SI INTERN PETER PARKER FROM ETC ETC"

( the media thinks Ladybug and Chat are 1000+ years old due to that thing alya found in that museum that one time. and the fact that people know that Thor and Loki are super old.

Ladybug's excuse to the public for letting a teenager, Nay! for letting a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD use an extremly dangerous magical artifact for a little over 2 years, goes something like this: "Marinette was the ONLY person in france- maybe in the whole world! that was compatible with the Rat miraculous, it takes a very smart person to be able to multitask like that, and marinette has a photographic/phonetic memory."

i headcannon that marinette photographic/phonetic memory, and that the Rat Miraculous is the math miraculous that was mentioned in the comics that one time, and that if an incompatible person were to try and use it they would at BEST develop a severe case of split personality disorder/ or schizophrenia, and at WORST their brain would- just- melt out of their ears. )

Also he calls her "Spots" or "LuckyBug" when shes in hero mode.

(i cant think of cute nicknames for peter, ugh "web head" is just something i cant picture marinette saying. what's the french word for spider? what's the french word for cobwebs??)

She prolly just calls him "Webs" or "Spidey"

#miraculous ladybug #spider man #marinette dupain cheng #peter parker #MLB X MCU #if i ever write a fic about this its gonna be called #spectacular miracular #SpideyBug #the ship name is SpideyBug im deciding this now.#there are only like 30 fics on A03 about this ship and we dont have a name for it yet.#me over here trying to convince the maribat fandom to write mcu crossovers #gonna start a fucking renaissance #Ladybug x Spider-man #Unlucky 13 Au #mlb #rat miraculous #mullo #multimouse #bamf marinette

115 notes · View notes

hanasnx · 5 months

Text

some updates while i’m here. i miss you! whether you’re a casual enjoyer of my blog & i see you in my notes, or my mutuals, or my followers, i’ve been thinking of you :) rare vulnerable moment i do cherish this blog and all your well wishes. thank you very much. i was right, typing is a huge strain and taking a break has been very good for my hands, so i’m going to keep at it.

some things:

don’t be afraid to keep sending me asks! they’re a great joy to me, i love seeing a notif in the inbox. i’ve gotten a fair few already that i’m excited to respond to when i can come back.

i did post a fred weasley drabble and not that i have to explain myself but i wanted to say i’ve been watching the harry potter movies. i’ve never seen them in their entirety, and the earlier ones have always been christmas movies in my house so to speak so i figured id give them a fair shot. i did read the books, and i’ve seen bits and pieces of the movies (hence my interest in fred weasley when i was a tween, but seeing him again made me wanna write for him for the first time in years)

also! a very kind anon told me earlier that my response to someone wrongfully making an ai chat bot of my content was an overreaction. it was “not that deep,” i believe was the colloquial term used. so the inherent content theft of ai invading free creative spaces is solved everyone! well done! very special thanks to the anon that let me know i was overreacting towards something i am passionate about and had a strong feeling towards! wow :) i never would’ve seen it like that. genuinely i am sorry anon that you’re ugly irl and your mommy doesn’t love you, which is why you feel like you can’t have a backbone over certain things. maybe you should stop consuming the free content creators provide on tumblr because you feel so secure in criticizing the selfless service <3 it’s giving: “im an old bigot that thinks ppl must be talentless and stupid when they work at mcdonald’s, but i’m still going to eat the food from there.” you’ve been blocked btw so you’re not offended by my use of free will when making free content on the internet for your grubby little hands to get a hold of and your smooth brain to criticize my right to share my personal opinions.

because the internet is the way it is, getting “hate” online has never really bothered me since i’ve always been a person with a large enough platform for years. it’s very easy for me to ignore and block and never answer whoever has decided to send some worthless hate message. which is probably why i almost never get hate anymore but it does happen occasionally. this was different since it wasn’t an attack on me per se, more so someone trying to admonish me for having a fair reaction towards something offensive. so i’m here to tell you it’s alright to treat strangers on the internet as strangers. you’re allowed to reinforce boundaries. you’re allowed to tell people you do not appreciate their actions towards you, and don’t leave room for argument. i am a very direct person, which means i told that person firmly that they needed to delete that ai chat bot they made of my au without my consent. and i did it without remorse. and i was told “it wasn’t that deep.” well it was. and it is. it is that deep because it’s deep to me, and i know it’s something that happens to others and it is that deep to them too. so what’s the problem in it being that deep? there is none :) let things be deep. be sincere. it is very important.

also if you make ai chat bots without creator’s consent when using their content you’re a piece of shit and doing a disservice to the very person you’re trying to exalt. take a step back and reevaluate how ai harms your interests rather than progresses them as well as the creators you claim your respect and cherish. you’re a victim of propaganda, my friend! and i prolly wouldn’t have made this post if anon hadn’t said anything. so maybe they should’ve kept their mouth shut since they didn’t wanna see shit like this so bad lmfao

now that that’s out of the way, i am sending wet fat sloppy kisses to everyone’s lips tell me when you receive them

#fuck ai #indy lore #updates #tw vent

25 notes · View notes

bromelads · 1 year

Text

Done with vacation, prepping for a big workday tomorrow and finally got a chance to look at the container worksheet for ""the izcourse"" and it's been really nice to see people's responses to it and to the post.

Thank you to everyone who’s given their two cents, reblogged, and who’s expressed support to the idea of a restorative approach to harm (especially racist harm) in the fandom.

In the spirit of seeing this bear fruit, I've decided to make the spreadsheet "view only" since the last time it got a response was three days ago. I think it's reached a point where there's enough to glean useful information (DM me if u wanna add more).

@ourflagmeansgayrights thank you for doing the work of disseminating the post within your circles. and for keeping this dialogue open. I hope your tumblr break goes well 👋🏽 Tho I was hoping for other voices to join in on the conversation, I didn't expect for them to come in thru our dialogue like that.

When you shared that list, I saw an opportunity to contribute skills and knowledge I have in service of a fandom community that I really care about. A lot of people have expressed in tags that they want to see this go somewhere. Even if its just out of curiosity, even if it’s A Lot, even if it’s really intense, and even if they’re not invested in “the izcourse” itself.

Community care, especially liberation-centered community care, takes vulnerability and creativity and courage and discomfort. I’m sure a lot of us didn’t sign up to do “community care” as part of our fandom experience. We also didn’t sign up for verbal abuse, targeted harassment, and strangers on the internet threatening our livelihoods.

As I mentioned before, I’m a trained facilitator and educate community members on anti racism irl. Creating spaces for people to come together and learn from each other is just what I do 🤷🏽‍♀️ and this IS A Lot. It’s also well worth the trouble. I think @blow-me-a-kis put it beautifully in these tags.

#the izcourse #ofmd #I fucks heavy with the work Snann is doing to improve the conditons of fandom #we don't all have to be best friends #but we can make this fandom better and we should try #because ofmd means a lot to all of us and we deserve to have accord in the few places in the world where we get a say #talk it through as a crew #also Hell Yeah to my fellow BIPOC canyonites!!! #the responses to the worksheet are brilliant and such a satisfying read #| want yall to understand this is LOVE #Bell Hooks said # Love is a combination of care commitment knowledge responsibility respect and trust #thats what we are building here

(I know that the bit about the Izzy Canyonite responses won’t resonate with everyone. I left it on the tags because believing one can be objective about anything is a trap. 🌻 I can own that “Izzy Canyon” is the subset of the fandom that I’m in and still be invested in the well-being of fans of color and other vulnerable fans throughout the fandom. Also leaving Kis’ words of affirmation because it feels good when ppl recognize that work’s been going into this. Loving and freely given but work nonetheless)

Love is caring about the well-being of the people in the ofmd fandom matters in both concrete (I want my friends to be ok) and abstract ways (other fans deserve to have a fandom experience that’s life affirming). It’s standing up for fellow fans, especially People of Color and other vulnerable fans, when we see them being abused in our digital sandbox. It’s accepting that our hearts beat faster (and not in a pleasant way) when we talk and think about these things because they matter to us.

So this is a direct request to everyone, particularly “Izzy critical” fans, who’re interested in an effort to address harm in our ofmd fandom community restoratively.

Little explanation for each point

Illustrates the “social landscape” we’re working on, particularly the extent of our common ground. Especially useful for an online community

What are the wounds we’re dealing with? Where does repair need to happen?

Compile the responses to harm listed. This will help determine what responses actually mitigate and discourage harm. It could also help us see where there’s room for culture change/innovation.

Identify the grievances expressed by Izzy fans (particularly fans of color) as well. @ourflagmeansgayrights suggested this. I’m pretty sure this information can be gleaned from the sheet itself and any of the earlier posts that brought us here.

This is not the only way to proceed, but it’s an idea.

The end goal is “come up with restorative ways to address and reduce harm, especially racist harm, in the ofmd fandom.” I don’t know exactly how we’ll get there but it’d be really neat if we could do it by honoring one of the show’s iconic lines and central themes:

#the izcourse #izzy critical #izzy canyon #ofmd discourse #ofmd fandom discourse #fandom racism #fandom discourse #restorative justice #long post #tl;dr something’s gotta change so #if you won’t do it for love of community or a commitment to anti racism and anti oppression #do it because ppl engaging with my last post really fucking pissed off izzy/Stede anon #like they really went on a field day last week #I won’t repost the extreme shit they sent ppl #Izzy-anti-archive is doing the hard work of keeping that #anyway I turned off anon after the last message I got #yes I see you. no you’re not getting a platform from my little fandom blog #and yes the shit you say is very racist AND hurtful #you get no freely given access to me #I strongly suggest others turn off anon too #izzy critical fans are right about the fact that rn all that we can do about anon is to ice them out #🤷🏽‍♀️#didn’t add this to the body of the post because it’s long enough as it is

55 notes · View notes

sapphire-weapon · 10 months

Note

I used to draw for other small/rare ships (apparently I'm drawn to those kind of ships lol), only one of them got huge enough after they were given some time alone in the manga which got the ship more talented and known creators and amazing fan art.

Unfortunately it also got more hate on since it was a ship that "got in the way" of other huge popular ships and going through the tag got annoying bc the haters tagged every post shitting on the previously rare pairing, plus if you reblogged or made content for it they would harass you. I just blocked everyone sending me hate lmao.

Lots of people now hate Leon/Ashley but I think this increased hatred also shows how the haters can see that it is a thing now unlike before. They see it as a real threat. You can see the insecurity in some of those antis, it's too obvious and also just sad imo. I don't get why antis take shipping too seriously like they're not even having fun anymore and that's supposed to be the point, no?

Truth is I've seen so many Leon/Ashley fans online and even irl, Reddit for example loves it and Remake Ashley is a fan favorite now. A lot of them are more casual fans that maybe don't engage that deeply with fanon (which tbh is the smart thing to do).

Finally I have to say your blog and the amazing fic writers have inspired me to go back to drawing fan art and just creating content for Ashley/Leon or EagleOne. :)

Since this is my new otp and the only thing I love shipping rn I'm also just creating a new blog for that purpose. I'm not an amazing artist I'm just an amateur but I'll try to do something soon when I'm less busy. I'll absolutely tag it as EagleOne. Hopefully I can motivate others to do the same.

anon what the fuCK i got all emotional reading this wyd 😭

i know that the antis are coming from a place of insecurity, which is why their arguments are so disingenuous (i finally found the "the devs went out of their way to make sure that leon and ashley weren't seen as romantic" tweet and hoo boy the desperation is stinky) -- and that's also why i don't engage with them. as easy and perhaps fun as it would be to just QRT it and be like "oh it makes sense now, you're all using text to speech because you don't actually know how to read" there's no point in doing that.

i said it a while ago, but i want to say it again for good measure -- i don't want us to become them. my humble goal for eagleone fandom is to be a haven for ppl. we've been the black sheep of this fandom for so long, and aeons are still accusing us of being predators or someshit (idk i'm only semi-fluent in delusional) that i feel like we all have an obligation to stay humble now that capcom's given us a fairy tale version of RE4 where our ship is the front-and-center romance and people are finally actually being drawn to the ship. no one knows how bad this fandom can get better than eagleone folk, so it's on us to not do unto others what has been done unto us.

idk maybe that's just my whole jewish "because you were slaves in egypt..." mindset coming out but

i want us to be a place where people can just come and hang out and make friends over our shared love for resident evil. i know that i have serennedy and cleon and chreon and metaltango people all following me, and i love all of them dearly and i'm happy that we've all found each other. i feel like that's what fandom should be.

that's why i don't fight with aeons out in the open. i don't want to become them. i'll swing back if they ever come here (though i hope valuable lessons were learned the last time someone tried to come in here swinging and i took them out in exactly two responses LMAO), but i don't want to go out picking fights and i don't want any of y'all to do it either.

so it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy and happy to hear that i've inspired you in some way. i know that our little corner of the fandom over here on tumblr is small, and i know that i don't exactly have the kind of welcoming personality that will give me any sort of real platform in this fandom (at least, not like the one i had back in the day when i was a fake ass bitch LMAO), but to know that i've made at least a little difference is everything for me.

#if this ship is to be my legacy #then i would have this ship be the best version of us as RE fans that it can be

10 notes · View notes

aewrie · 1 day

Text

i've gone so far off the rails but we're in too deep now too late to turn back

or, long ass tirade re: writing consent and lack of thereof and weird nuanced situations is go

(who died and made me the boss? no one. but ppl keep telling me i write this stuff good so presumably i'm doing something right)

first off: if you think deriving enjoyment/catharsis of any kind from fictional nonconsent scenarios is gross and wrong: you're not gonna like me, please go away

second off: i am approaching the majority of this from the angle of writing (hopefully) engaging fiction. this is personal thoughts flavoured by my preferences, not a universally applicable how-to guide and not a consent 101 for real life purposes

also, for context

'excplicit on-screen consent is awkward'

skill issue

but yes. it can be. very much so.

i'll start off with that i have put words into characters' mouths at times bc i felt the need to tell others something (even if intended audience for a given message might never stumble across it) and will do it again, But good luck trying to figure out what those instances are,

but anyhow i think that's where a big part of the problem stems from. people (writers) try to tell their audience things (educating them on consent) at the expense of their story and characterizations. and then when they try to make it sound less awkward they attempt shortcuts like a handful of specific Sexy Ways To Ask For Consent lines that i saw people lamenting about in the notes of that post, rather than, again, trying to think of how these characters might have this interaction happen and if it serves the story and its purposes

(what i mean by 'a story's purposes' is what's the goal here. is it to explore these characters. is it to make the audience feel a certain way, or to have them think about something. and bc we're talking about smut here too is the point to get off and that's it)

if i try to think back i can remember exactly one (1) pwp smut fic where a character stopping abruptly in the middle of business to ask for consent in an somewhat questionable situation was entertaining, and that's bc the other one's response was basically that ship sailed ages ago don't you fucking dare leave me hanging here

'fiction influences how people act irl'

"...and therefore all sex scenes should have on-screen consent to help model healthy communication"

to a degree, yes, fiction can influence people when information on a topic is otherwise scarce, but the solution here isn't to turn porn into sex ed, it's to provide better sex ed outside fiction. if you write explicit enthusiastic consent SOLELY because you think your average reader needs help grasping the concept, i worry. to paraphrase a post i can't be assed to dig up bc it was years and years ago: if we rely on people's chance encounters with pornography as a means to educate the masses on safe sex, we've already lost the ball. grievously.

and i need to stress that i LIKE writing explicit consent, when it makes sense, and in ways that make sense. i'm not opposed to showing what attempts at healthy communication can look like in fiction. i think there should be stories like these! i think they can be great in introducing people to new ideas and encourage learning more outside fiction. but also i think in many situations it's just better to share educational resources separately and let the stories be stories, even if the aim is to have the communication etc reflect what you'd generally want/expect irl.

one thing i like to include (when applicable) is the term edgeplay in my descriptions/tags; it's a small thing but maybe someone not familiar will see it and realize that maybe they shouldn't be diving into what my characters are doing headfirst, even if it works out in the story

i do think mainstream porn especially could use more things like brief scenes after the main meat of a film where the actors are just chilling and stuff. a little grounding moment when it's time to 'return to reality', particularly with more hardcore stuff.

but we're primarily talking smutty fanfic, a niche within a niche, and like. honestly a lot of fanfic does better on this front already, bc we tag for these things. the understanding is already there that the fic is following tropes and kinks and specific crafted scenarios regarding consent. #sex pollen is the author telling you here will be that particular kink/trope, but also that someone's decision making is influenced/impaired by some substance belonging under the sex pollen category

wait i thought a good way to highlight the key point here;

> author's wanting to include on-screen consent because they prefer that, or want to encourage people, even if on a small scale, to think more about this more, etc: awesome! go for it! i do this too!

> other people pushing an expectation that fanfic smut writers of all people are responsible for educating the masses in order to fix a society-wide problem: please get a grip

i have written a pretty wide range of situations where there was on-screen consent but i'll get more onto that later,

and then i've also written/drawn stuff where there's absolutely no whiff of anything resembling healthy discussion or concern for boundaries, and a good chunk of that has been smut. i do love pwp fic/erotic art where you can read into it what you want to read into it; eg i have a fic that *could* be read as the pov character is really into it, the consent just isn't explicit on screen OR yeah that's just straight up noncon and brainwashing, just subtle about it -- i tagged for power imbalance. readers can read and imagine further details as they like. a one shot pwp with no wider narrative attached to it lends itself particularly well for something like this.

when there is a bigger story attached, i gotta start considering more how characters interact with each other and what their relationships are like, but even then, please refer to the diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm fic post

and of course the one part of this wank that only noncon enjoyers seem to even notice: i'm more worried about the people who write ""consensual"" sex scenes that are in fact dubcon at best, because they genuinely do not seem to realize this, than the ppl writing wildly not-appropriate-to-replicate-irl scenes with full awareness that this is the case. and often, you can tell. even if it's not spelled out in the text itself.

'consent is sexy'

i am facepalming and groaning (in frustration, just for the sake of clarity) and glaring at my screen

rl? consent isn't sexy. it's necessary. it absolutely CAN be sexy but that's not a prerequisite. in fact sometimes these discussions can be actively unsexy and THAT'S FINE (trust a cnc kinkster to be the one voice of sanity in the notes of that post and be the one to bring up this point; you, random tumblr user, are a real one) bc being sexy is not the point. the mutual agreement and knowing what you're getting into is the point

(i get this phrase is less or more something created with the purpose of basically marketing consent but still)

in fiction, it can be many fucking things. including the worst boner killer you've seen. refer back the where we started, and also the whole, when the reader's here just to get off chances are they aren't in the mood for a lowkey lecture in consent (and/or safe sex)

also!!

i wouldn't say character gasping i want you in the middle of making out is sexy bc it's explicit consent, but rather it's sexy bc they're needy. because they can't contain how much they desire the other person and are emotionally vulnerable in expressing that. and does leaning into something like that not make for a more interesting and engaging (including in the sense of being arousing) storytelling than 'yes, i, a mature adult of legal age to consent and not currently under the influence of any substances that might impede my judgement, enthusiastically consent to performing the sex with this person who is my equal in every way'?

(i am exaggerating for comedic effect but that's how reading some examples i've seen feels like at times. and if someone out there thinks that is sexy i want to study them under a microscope. fully solidified brain risk centers has me fucking weeping.)

people writing things with consent/boundary issues that aren't straight up noncon (moderately spicy opinions time)

you see here' the thing with me being comfortable acknowledging that something can be noncon AND sexy: i am also perfectly content acknowledging more grey area type situations that so many others completely miss on their crusade against the Problematic noncon (and age gaps. let's be real fandom loves to hate on age gaps even when they're a completely non-issue, and then is damn oblivious to often far more glaring potential red flags. (see hannigram. apparently some people think the ship is Bad because of the age gap and no other reason.))

coffeeshop aus being the ~fluffiest most wholesome trope~ that's actually problematic bc that's just sexually harassing a service worker who may not be able to do shit about it is just one oft used example. other such things include: teacher/student or mentor/student relationships, doctor/medic/healer + their patient relationships, gods + their followers/priests, spiritual leaders + regular people of the applicable faith, ceo/evil overlord/whathaveyou and their employees/staff/underlings, the list goes on, wrt consent these are all at the very least sketchy by irl standards even if everyone was an adult and technically consented, and i didn't even list nearly every scenario imaginable,

and oh boy i almost forgot to mention things like love potions, sex pollen, aphrodisiacs, characters in heat, etc etc

BUT in fic, if we're not all fixated on being Pure and Unproblematic, these can be fucking great and romantic and sexy. for a moment we can pretend that getting flirted on by the cute regular and writing your number on the back of a receipt to hand with their drink you have memorized bc that person always orders the same thing is the pinnacle of romance. we can imagine that a follower in their blind devotion isn't a prime target for exploitation but rather their god's favourite pet who gets special treatment. you get the idea.

just, don't whine about problematic fic if you can't face the iffy parts in your own favourite romance/sex fantasies?? we're all freaks here and slapping a BUT my characters EXPLICITLY STATE that they consent on yours doesn't change that my dubcon pwp and your coffee shop au both inherently have a certain disregard of boundaries built in. it's a feature. it makes the story better at what it is supposed to be. that is: a fantasy. trying to shoehorn in standardized explicit on-screen consent can get weird beyond a superficial level of wholesome, unless you're willing to acknowledge the fact that this is actually at least a little Problematic. you don't have to spell it out in the fic, but. at least think about it, if depicting only the most wholesome consensual educational intimate encounters is so very important??

back onto depicting attempts at healthy communication/consent for a bit

the thing is, care and communication and respecting boundaries and trusting each other and all that can just as much be a fantasy explored in a story(!)

and i say 'attempts at healthy communication' rather than 'healthy communication' for a reason. even when i try to go for something grounded in how these things can look like in reality, characterization and narrative comes first. i've cut banger lines bc they felt too much like we're trying to do therapy and i'll damn well do it again. same with consent. i'm here to tell a story. even when it's grounded in realism. i'm not First And Foremost trying to model a healthy relationship even if my story has an element of hey, practising good consent *can* look something like this. characters can and should stumble and make mistakes and have conflicts that don't have perfect solutions, and that applies here too. we apply suspension of disbelief everywhere else in fiction. this is no different.

!! and, in insisting on reading this kind of fictional intimacy as Educational, people are going to miss more subtle ways in which the scenario may not be ideal. i shouldn't have to explain why that's Not Good

you can have fun with this actually And make it another tool of characterization etc

and on-screen consent doesn't have to look the same for every scenario and character. in fact it shouldn't. bc if it does, now you've probably stumbled into the pitfall of writing consent 101, possibly with an attempt at making it more sexy, rather than story.

like, just some ideas off of the top of my head that aren't 'yes, i consent':

normally abrasive character who needs to be in control at all times becomes more subdued and allows another to get intimate. just maybe a reserved 'you can', and them not fighting like they usually do with everything just out of habit

characters who cannot keep their hands off of each other because they're just desperately wanting to get as close and intimate as possible. no time for words. no chance for words because between kisses they're too out of breath anyway. (how is there any argument about this sort of scenario leaving consent 'vague'??)

normally reserved & quiet character making a subtle first move that, when coming from them, is Big

character is too excited and aroused and struggles to make the words go but their actions very much scream Want, while the other is going on about how sexy they are

honestly, nala giving simba the bedroom eyes in tlk style situation is a good one if you're just fading to black

'i want you', 'i need you', 'let me have you'

actually i'm providing some examples by yours truly;

my longfic is just. there's two sex scenes. one character is very experienced and the other is aroace and has not had an intimate relationship of any kind prior to this. i put emphasis on the curiosity and uncertainty and the more experienced character wanting to be sure that everything's fine, because he cares about that. for how i wrote these characters and this relationship, this approach made sense. i have lines like:

"You would give me this experience with you, then?" "Is this alright?" "I know my boundaries. That includes knowing which ones I am willing to bend." "Go slow at first and it's all good." "Tell me how it feels?"

I wouldn't necessarily label ^this scene smut in a conventional sense tbh. it's more the characters trying to figure things out and being a bit awkward about it at points.

and then i have this example later on of how a lack of clear 'yes' can be more fun:

If they think they are going to get a coherent answer out of him, they are wrong. The sight between his legs demands his attention, and he knows nothing sensible would come out of his mouth now, if he tried. The best he manages to give is a whine that maybe was supposed to be a 'please', but who knows. He certainly doesn't.

from a different story with same characters, we have

"You are so responsive to simple touch, my friend." Simple, he says. Distracting. That it is.

closely followed by

"If I should stop, will you tell me?" They look up. Tell him? They don't bother, often, with trying; so many don't pay attention. Most keep a distance anyway. But some, they don't care if they push away or try to leave, unless they want to go away themselves; don't care that they hold a weapon until they use it, they know how to use it, it is not an idle threat. Easier to fight or run away, depending. Not to bother, when others deny their mind, their decisions. But he wants to know? "Three taps. Or something else, but still thrice. Somewhere I can feel it. I will know, then." So simple. They can do that. "Will you?" He wants to know. Nod; yes. They will.

in which we establish a safeword without calling it a safeword! to have a clear way of communicating no/stop when these two aren't that familiar with one another and the pov character is nonverbal. again, bc it made sense for my characterizations. frankly(!) leading up to this there's little things that are less good consent, like pov character feeling they have to decide on the spot if they engage or not when they realistically would have liked more time to think (and did not expect further checking ins along the line bc Unfamiliar Territory) but for the oneshot fic it works, bc it gets things moving along at a decent pace.

also good spot to go on a tangent about how perhaps im just too aroace for all this nonsense bc I KNOW the gag is that oh you're reading this very filthy smut? we all know what you're here for ;) ;) and i'm legitimately like. good character writing?? yes?? with tasty word building on the side as a bonus maybe?? i Do Not look at sexual content as inherently or even primarily as something that exists for the sake of sexual gratification, it's just another thing you can include in a story. if it's sexy for others and all that awesome, if not, that's a you problem lol.

then less plotty more smutty ones;

The King parts his legs, then, just enough to allow access.

^depending how you kinky you'd like something like that, it could be an invitation or a command. depends on the surrounding context

He listens to the raspy breaths above him; they do not betray much, but he knows the subtle differences in the pattern, knows when he is getting close. / They would expect him to do something. They delight in the spontaneity, -- / -- watching how their hands twitch, listening to their little sounds. How he adores those sounds.

a selection of small things implying these characters are familiar with each other. and, that there's not so much of a point in confirming consent for everything every time. you can have it in there without spelling it out if you want, and especially with established relationships, that just makes sense, unless it's a Thing for them to go over the details each time. in which case: why. explain the logic and convince me (is it a kink for them? you could make it a kink thing if you want to play up the sexiness, but do realize that's going to be a niche thing.)

ooc is ooc. how would your character show or not show that they want to get nasty?

sidenote for kink etc: if your story isn't set in present-day real world or something close enough, you can implement a system that the readers will understand is a safeword, even if you don't call it that. is there something unique to your setting/characters that they might use instead, that might even make more sense in-universe? ALSO, in scifi/fantasy settings particularly you can possibly take stuff MUCH further than would be plausible or possible irl. don't be restricted to real world rules for kink, and with that, consider how this might impact stuff like negotiation. eg, 'anything that doesn't leave a permanent mark goes' carries a whole lot of different meanings when you have access to magic healing that leaves your skin looking perfectly unharmed. (this is for if your characters are aware that they are doing kink; if your characters aren't aware of this, proceed accordingly)

fixating on a verbal 'yes' like it's some kind of magic word just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what consent even is

[cw for talk about sexual abuse etc from here out]

(if you're not familiar, please look up the fries model of consent. it's not a be all end all, but a solid starting point, particularly for vanilla scenarios.)

you can have a character go through the motions of consenting without it meaning jack shit due to the circumstances that lead them there. this partially ties to the whole people writing noncon without realizing. bc fiction generally involves conflicts of some kind, the things that drive your story forward can at the same time be what makes consent between your ship-to-be iffy, even if we all know that it's actually fine and no one's really being hurt (again, we apply suspension of disbelief etc), or just not good consent by any stretch of imagination.

is my neglected and emotionally abused ~late teens oc meaningfully consenting to sex when she's being pressured to 'earn her keep' by her caretakers and then getting pimped by her boyfriend who manipulates her? she says she's consenting. must be fine, then. right? right? (hint: No.)

another oc initiated what was at first a consensual encounter, voiced discomfort when things started going sideways, and when things Really went to shit, started fawning (among other things). is a yes, go ahead, i like that good consent here, or later in different situations, when this trauma rears its head and they're fawning again? (hint: No.)

and don't get me started on the 'verbal' part of a verbal 'yes' bc apparently some people out there genuinely insist that that's the only thing that matters- like YES, irl, if someone's body is responding to stimulus but they're saying no, that verbal no is what you pay attention to. but communication is so much more than plain spoken words. ffs.

writing lack of consent (spicy opinions incoming)

disclaimer addendum: if you're writing based on personal experiences, do whatever makes you comfortable. and i mean whatever. hell, even if it's not personal experiences or you're not sure, still that applies. i sure as fuck know it isn't so simple knowing if your experiences 'count' sometimes. again, personal thoughts/preferences re: fiction. not an edict to follow.

so, with fictional sexual abuse/nonconsent, i find a common point of struggle with this is a) person is writing noncon smut and they try too hard to make it Sexy, b) person is writing a story focusing on trauma and they try too hard to Be Sensitive

like honestly the best ones i've read, regardless of what the purpose of the story was, are the ones where the author approached it like just another topic to write about. go into detail when it serves the story you're telling. be vague when it serves the story you're telling. let the characters react in a way that makes sense rather than in a way that tells the reader how sexy and/or terrible this situation is. even if you're keeping things off screen, show what's going on in the character(s) heads.

for smut, trying too hard to make it sexy can come off as awkward and at times comical. and i'll wager, not in a way that's intended. not a noncon exclusive phenomenon, but perhaps more obvious here with the tone issues that come from that.

trying too hard to be sensitive is. it can come off as condescending? i don't want to chew up anyone for being uncomfortable, but i do take issue when people act like their way of dealing with their trauma is the Only Correct One (please shut up) and anyone who disagrees is Not A Real Survivor (please shut up), and especially if anyone more removed tries to dictate how to supposebly be respectful as if trauma worked the same for everyone

...have you ever watched a crime drama featuring sexual abuse and the general vibe that the whole situation has is just this oh you poor pitiable thing :( wrapped in a package of copaganda dressed as revenge fantasy. and it isn't even that the victim wants revenge, or anything really, for that matter, they're just kinda there to look vaguely sad. it's all just a side note to the getting the fix of Justified Corporeal Punishment

adjacent to that, is what comes with the territory of writing a sensitive topic with care: people beating around the bush and using vague euphemisms instead of describing ANYTHING. i'm not saying every single instance of depicting sexual abuse has to be graphic, but when it comes across like this is something so terrible and gross that you can't even mention it, are you being sensitive, or are you being avoidant? not every story that features sexual abuse in some capacity focuses on that, but with the ones that DO, worth considering why something is being left offscreen/underscribed.

(like i can straight up say when i've been Avoidant it was bc *i* was not in the spot to be dealing with that particular scenario in depth OR bc i was pre-emptively wanting to appease hypothetical others. for daring to include something a touch more personally vulnerable in art/fiction. neither was exactly the best mental place to be creating something planned to publicly share from.)

uh oh it's complicated

idk if i'll make any sense but i'll try to words

a somewhat tame example: unexpected kiss that gets handsy. we could have rough division of scenarios as such

1) character didn't consent to this, but actually wanted it so it's fine, 2) character didn't consent to this, and aggressively makes it clear, 3) character didn't consent to this, and it's complicated

scenario 1, when done well, is the surprise affection is sexy situation. characters know exactly what the other wants. there's a fantasy in that, of not having to voice your desires to have them realized, and whatnot.

with scenario 2, when do things pause to give it some weight? character in the receiving end shoves the other away and yells at them, or someone else does it for them, and then the whole matter gets brushed off after maybe a quick are you ok, feels like the usual way it goes. from a storytelling perspective, even a brief moment to show discomfort would make that land far better, if the point is to show that this is creepy and unwelcome?

and 3 is. what if it is unwanted, but the response doesn't scream get off of me. what if the character has complicated reactions, for a possibly wide variety of reasons. where things get messy. this compels me. but it's very different from both the prior ways to go about the same scenario and easily the most complicated, because we don't get that immediate simple dramatic 'resolution' either way, if you do this properly.

i love good dubcon/soft noncon/technically consensual/things of that nature. and i will argue that you can't really do those well if you don't have a decent understanding of consent. you can't properly navigate the nuance and grey areas and technicalities and it isn't consensual, but it's complicated or consensual but not safe or sane for a compelling, believable story if you don't have a solid grasp of how these things work

depicting sexual trauma without showing anything or even directly naming it

a while there was a post about how if you can't bring yourself to use words like 'kill', instead opting for euphemisms like 'unalive', then you probably aren't mature enough to write about death with any grace, and shared there was the sentiment that this applies to sexual abuse as well. absolutely valid point but also i had happened to finish a fic relevant to that discussion recently and Now i'm getting out that particular yes but there's also this other angle to consider

which is: does it make sense for the characters to describe things using a given phrasing?

my character who's just been slapped in the face with a significant trauma and is struggling not to dissociate probably isn't going to talk about it the same way as someone who's had time to process and heal and just had an epiphany in therapy. probably.

but i'm getting sidetracked from getting sidetracked so onto the next point (for now?)

if you're not allowed to write it badly, are you actually allowed to write it?

do your research and approach these topics with care and all that, yes, but also, are we demanding that people potentially writing about their own trauma and lived experiences are masters of their craft? does a vent fic or an autobiographical work have to stand up to scrutiny of representing sexual abuse 'respectfully'??

like, a bunch of people have pointed out how demanding people publicly disclose their trauma to be judged by complete strangers in order to determine if they're allowed to write something is all sorts of shitty, but hey, here's a thought adjacent to that i don't think i've seen anyone bring up. because seriously. if someone's screaming that they're hurting why the fuck should the primary concern be but are your creative skills up to par??

(i'll be blunt again and say this is in part why i've been extremely hesitant up until recently to include these sorts of things in my stories in much detail, but far more so, i'm thinking about all the fucking awful treatment i've seen others receive for talking about/depicting fictionalized retellings of their traumas ""incorrectly"".)

i'll admit it: my first attempts at depicting sexual trauma even as a sidenote to another story just plain sucked. there was an attempt but it was no good. in part i was young and less aware of everything, in part i was poorly mimicking existing examples that were generally meh

i'll also admit that what was genuinely most helpful at getting better was reading graphic noncon smut/angst. the well written stuff. because those fics aren't afraid to go into detail; rather, they enthusiastically dive into all the little and not so little things that make it more worse. they present the whole thing without dressing it to be palatable, and the jump from side note to copaganda to brutally honest survivor story was- i think the first really graphic one was the first time i could sympathize with the character and root for them in their journey to overcome the trauma. as opposed to almost voyeuristically (ironically enough) observe from a distance and then forget about it when the rest of the plot moved forward and forgot about it too.

and then one more thing relating to that that's been rattling around in the back of my mind for probably years now: there's one fic from years ago in particular that i think of when i consider the topic of fanfic depicting rape inappropriately. because that fic is not so different from noncon kink works i at times see from the type people arguably disrespected in said fic, just more novice in execution. it also makes me think of how i handled various areas of this whole consent/communication/boundaries jumble in my earliest attempts vs now. which is just one of those reasons i'm reluctant to judge intentions in these situations, at least outside mainstream entertainment where standards/expectations should be completely different.

in conclusion

this has been an i was exhausted and the filter was off ramble that got too damn long

have good day/night/whatever

#yourebabblingjulle #this got over 5k words btw it's Long

5 notes · View notes

suiana · 9 months

Note

So to give to a little context first. I have a friend whom I met from my old online school. We have a enemies dynamic. We've each other for 2 years now. When we first met I was the one who talked the most, which he used to see as "annoying". Ever since I left the online school and became busy with my new irl school, I started messaging him less and when I do, he acts more and more nicer and chill than before. To the point he stared flirting with me but I always brushed it off as I also flirt with everybody. Did I forget to mention we are the complete opposite of each other. He's extremely introverted online while I'm literally just putting out my phone number for everyone to see. Irl tho I'm introverted and scared of people unlike him who suddenly has the ultimate rizz and getting into fights with other boys.

One time he messaged me while putting on his just as he got out if the shower. Lemme tell you I was dense af back then. He literally asked for shampoo recommendations. I didn't know anything about men's hygiene so I told him to use a flower scented shampoo. He left for 15mins which I thought was because he was drying his hair. No he was running to the store. He asked for which shampoo brand I use. I didn't want him to know that much about me so I said any sakura scented one.

Another time was when we were talking about a game we like and he thought about cosplaying the character I liked and I thought of it as just some teasing between friends and went along with it by saying I prefer the female characters.

I'm always questioning my sexuality so I'm always joking around that I'm gay and I think that's the reason why he hasn't been straight forward.

He started his own irl school last week and a girl kept looking back and forth at him and when he was about to go home she stopped him saying he could always ask her for help about studies and the school.

And again with a different girl but this time is his deskmate. Apparently every single girl he has met had asked him if he has a gf to which he responded with "not ur business" and I already knew something wasn't right at this point because I have seen his face before and he is mid. Sure ig some girls r into tall boys but he's a freaking emo.

And did I tell you about my suspicion about his deskmate not even being a real girl because the Coincidences if them being neighbors and having way too much in common is too suspicious. Did I also mention "her" personality is completely unreal. She says she's "not like the other girls" and HE him out of all people fricking agreed

And his description of her sounds exactly like me. Short wolfcut, gets mistaken as a boy, kinda tall. Even her behavior is like mine, Just randomly zoning out. And the last thing that completely threw me off guard was her grades. She's the Top of the class. I'm literally part of the student council.

But then I wanted to meet her too if she was comfortable with it but y know what he said.

Idk I can

He thinks I might accidentally hurt her feelings. He has known me for nearly 3 years.

And his response to me was

"Didnt mean it but since she has many mental issues and tried to suicide her self because of got bullied and mocked,i just don't want to makes her feel bad and depressed"

I relate to her so now im always telling him to protect her even if her stories might be worse than mine.

But now that I'm rethinking about it

I think he's lying to me

I heard getting advice from random strangers on the internet is better than getting actual help /j

I actually really like him and I don't have the courage to confront him directly about it

There's a very high chance I'm just being delusional and should continue being some wingman

But I don't have any other friends to tell this and I really need to get it off my chest and get other ppls opinions so I hoped I didn't make too many Grammer mistakes

don't worry about making grammar mistakes it's totally ok

u should subtly try to egg him on for answers

like asking what's Ur ideal type, what would u do if u date me, do u think we'll be more than just friends etc

if he hints that he does like u maybe u can shoot your shot lol haha, and don't be disheartened if he rejects u, there's plenty of fish in the sea :3

imo u probably have a good chance of getting that because he probably likes you ++ no guy I've seen would do such things for someone they just call a friend :)

I hope everything goes well for you bae and all the best

#suiana's sinners

12 notes · View notes

tiffanytoms · 1 year

Note

Now that I know you like to play...inviting you to the partyyyyyyy : D

🤔 Writing often involves personal reflection and self-exploration. How do you navigate the line between memoir and fiction in your work?

❤️💜🧡💛💚💙

Thank you ☺️ I’ll be sure to answer them all over the next few days!

This is a very interesting question, bc I definitely have noticed that this is not everyone’s outlook, and thinking this way has gotten me in trouble, but I personally see reality and fan fiction stories as entirely separate entities. I like writing things that are complicated, and messy, or sometimes even toxic! I find those things fascinating, even if I know I don’t want them in my real life. What you write and read does not have to reflect what you’re into or even what you want the world to look like. No way! Otherwise there would only be happy fluff books being written, and that would be very boring. An example I love to use is I love reading and writing rough sex. I think that’s a fun fantasy! Does that mean I actually like doing it? Hell no, but my fantasy can stay right there, in the land of make believe hurting absolutely no one. And this is a notion that I will always defend wholeheartedly: fan fiction should be a safe space for ppl to explore whatever topics and subjects they want to! That’s exactly the point bc it isn’t real! Like I know that some ppl must think that I’m secretly in a BDSM relationship bc I wrote one and that tickles me 😅 (And would tickle anyone who knew me IRL, as I really do have a prudish reputation 🤷‍♀️)

That being said, do I sometimes use lines from my life, or put my characters in scenarios I myself may have experienced? Absolutely! I don’t think of that as ‘memoir-esque’ though bc I see my version** of these characters so clearly in my head, that how they react to those words or the situation is vastly different than I would/did. It’s how I try to make my stories have realistic aspects without feeling like I’m actually telling a bunch of strangers on the internet my actual story 😉 But, in that same vein, it actually blew my mind when I said I sometimes use my husband’s best lines in my dialogue, and I got a response saying something along the lines of “isn’t it weird we’re all falling in love with your husband?” bc no! You’re not! You don’t even know my husband and having Lily say one line he once did, in an entirely different context, in a completely different relationship, at a different age, in a magical school, doesn’t suddenly make her my husband! Fiction!!! 🤣

Ha. Sorry, you probably didn’t want such a long answer, but this is something I think of a lot and find it pretty fascinating how different ppl think about these fun little stories we write.

**I said my version of these characters bc it’s actually a pet peeve of mine when someone says “so and so character wouldn’t do that” about 2 characters who were dead for an entire book series. James and Lily are SO fully open to interpretation, and another author’s interpretation and mine could both be vastly different, but they could both be right 🤷‍♀️ Like, we’ll honestly never know. So I don’t like it when ppl take ownership of them, bc none of us own them. We can only write them the way we want to 😊

And don’t get me started on how ppl can interpret them the same way, but how the circumstances in the story have changed how they react to things… like there are just so many factors that go into how someone behaves, and I just really love exploring that 😁

#athenasparrow #writer asks #writer things #awkward turtle #fandom etiquette

12 notes · View notes

slimesaurian · 2 months

Text

im gonna go on a rant in a sec. I'll try to cycle back and edit the top here to cw the post but if it takes too long and I forget or end up missing some im sorry

so a friend of mine just got outed to her ultra religious parents by her fucking shitty ex. it really fucking sucks and I so badly want to [redacted] the dude who did it. It especially sucks because like, I befriended this gal maybe a year into transition and she was still closeted/figuring stuff out at the time but would ask me some stuff about transition and I was happy to help. My first "baby trans" of being a woman who was out.

anyways her boyfriend seemed okay on twitter, tbh was always a bit annoying but then again who am I to judge. Our interactions were alright and it was just neat having some moots. Then twitter shat the bed and I made a lil friend server on discord for people I liked. I ended up sending a invite to both cuz they expressed interest and unfortunately the annoying vibes from boyf were correct. Dude would ping her in the server to get him to respond to their dms and say a buncha yikes things. I think he even mentioned being republican or smth which wasnt a hit in the "leftist tranny" discord server. Mostly he made peeps uncomfy but I was hesitant to give the boot to him because of his connection to someone I liked.

Then there was one point where I was in vc with him and baby trans messaged me saying "hey be careful with what you say around him" and then sent me a screenshot after he ended up going on a tirade against her for expressing interest in piercing her nipples at some point

1: bullshit lmao

2: very clearly controlling behavior and an implicit threat

at this point, i basically just stopped interacting with the dude in the server. I very much wanted to kick him, both from the server and irl but I was worried about escalating things and putting my friend in danger so I kinda just bit my tongue. eventually they broke up and I asked whether she'd like me to kick him or not and she told me she I didnt have to if I were comfy with him. I still didnt kick cuz I was worried about retaliation but my man was on thin ice, especially because I had just settled into a new place after fleeing a controlling man so I was not pleased with him.

Anyways then I made a joke about being gay in my sapphic tranny server and he was like "Wait, you like MEN????". Honestly, I had never felt like you could hear a pin drop in a digital space before. Anyways yeah I pulled out the boot after that.

Then dude was insistent on vc'ing me to "talk about what happened" and wouldnt stop messaging me trying to set up this call rather than just explain in text. Honestly I got the vibe this was intentional, I've had too many HR meetings to really buy that shit any more. I decided to entertain him just to get him off my back but then he kept pushing me so I eventually said I'll think about it. dude kept pushing and pushing me over text for updates for the next three days where I honestly just fucking ghosted him because of other life shit. Eventually I caved and told him to give me some space because I needed it and he went off about "Do you see how thats better than no response?" and then went on to talk about how "this issue isnt that big in the first place"

At that point I just never talked to him again. I figured his beef was with me and he has no leverage so I'm safe and hopefully baby trans is safe. Anyways fast forward half a year and god damn this girl has blossomed in the presence of other folks helping her through this stuff (if you end up reading this somehow, love you girl 💗). Unfortunately she learns that shitty ex has told ppl she cheated on him and thats why they broke up (girl absolutely has been too timid to pursue anything since, this is 100% a boldfaced lie. But gosh you rly should ask alex out already). She ends up making a very calm post clearing the air about how this isnt the case and she didnt feel safe around him due to the threat of being outed (above). No @'s, no names, just a simple post.

And then her dad gets a text talking about every little thing that could be used against her, from her caffeine addiction (lmfao) to her not rly being christian and eats weed gummies. Oh and, you know, she "wants to identify as a woman and have started taking drugs for hormone replacement therapy". As an aside, the text mentions she's "been dating a man for a year now" and "have sucked a couple of dicks". but who's dick i wonder 🤔. Also she's "never liked women and is attracted to penises" if this werent so fucking awful id be laughing my ass off.

The text ends with "I'd suggest confronting [deadname] about this since they're clearly out of your control and could learn a lesson about insubordination and respect". Not rly being subtle there bud. Anyways, me and my friends have spent all fucking day making sure our gal is safe and has a place to stay and are emotionally supporting her and I'm just so fucking angry. Her entire life has been uprooted, her autonomy violated, her existence endangered because this fucking prick decided he wants to be a petty motherfucker. For the record, she has temporary housing and is safe right now, but she's going to come out of this with such deep scars.

I think the worst part is, is that he's got a lot of trans women friends/mutuals. He was practically bragging about it in my server. Other trans womrn are in danger around this man and his vindictive rage but I dont have the energy to do anything more than try being there for my friend and help her through this. I'm just angry and sad and worried and tired. I hate this man. I hate people like him. I hate the fact that he will more than likely never face any sort of consequences for ruining someone else's life. I hate that society makes him feel comfortable where he is. I fucking hate.

I'm trying so hard to not succumb to hate and become this jaded feral beast but it's just so hard. its so hard seeing everyone i care about in this fucked up world get hurt over and over and over again. It's so hard seeing all this violence and pain and choosing to fight back with love. Every time someone i love is hurt it feels like a chunk of my flesh is taken along with it. a core of my being is robbed because I need to help. i need to be there. i need to counterract the world. but its not enough and itll never be enough and ill just wear myself thinner and thinner each day until all thats left is my bones bleaching in the sun. but what else can i do? the rabid dog gets put down. i just want to be safe and help my friends be safe and i want us all to live.

i dont know any more.

edit:

I think one of the worst parts is knowing that it's within my power to hurt him back. Like, he's told me the general area where he lives in the past and it's honestly not hard to narrow details down from there if you're dedicated. I could realistically make this fucker fear for his life. But then I'd be one of those radical violent transgenders who dared to bare her teeth at the society that uses and beats and breaks and kills her kind. I have to rise past it. I have to choke this rising bile in my throat back down and be a good girl for a chance to be granted the fucking right to live. I have to sit and feel my heart break and break and break and break and break every single day so some smug white boys won't ever have to experience the fear of god for the slightest moment.

#rant #eliza rant #long post

4 notes · View notes

frecklystars · 4 months

Note

I know with all my heart that Ken 1000% loves you dearly. Like, he has never been so fully committed about anything since he came out of his box in 1961; I know he feels like his existence was leading up to when he first met you. He is the total definition of a goofy, loyal golden retriever boyfriend. As a toy, he barely understands the concept of violence, + certainly never EVER thinks of violence as being something that should be anywhere near you. Violence goes against his very nature. (1/2)

(2/2) What IS in his nature is love. He loves looking at you, being around you, doing anything with you, making you laugh. I think time in Barbie Land is sort of malleable + odd, days can get repetitive. So he loves you even more for shaking things up + giving him more meaning. I think u help him find who he is + he adores you for it. He makes up little songs for u + dances with u while singing. Also I have an image of u taking him horse riding in the RealWorld + he cries of overwhelming love 🐢

TURTLE ANON. MY BELOVED. THANK YOU. FOR SAYING ALL OF THIS 😭😭😭😭💙💙💙💙💙 FOR SAYING SUCH!!!!! NICE THINGS TO ME!!!!!! [ken voice] WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. o hmhhhh y god. oh my god. oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 OGHHOGOGOHGGHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDD

My response got a bit lengthy so I'll put it under a readmore sdflkjsddf

"He has never been so fully committed about anything since he came out of his box in 1961" made me laugh so hard haha I LOVE how you phrased that. This is so touching. His existence leading up to ME?? is so heartwarming to me since he was made literally For Barbie. to find yourself and forge your own path after you were created to love someone who does not love you back, and on your journey of self discovery you end up choosing to love somebody else who isn't even from the world you were made to be in, and maybe you're afraid that it'll be another scenario like you had with the doll you were Made To Be With -- that maybe this person you're choosing to love... isn't gonna love you back. but they do!!! that person gives you that love back so unconditionally and wholeheartedly!!! I always hope I could make Ken so happy, it's all I want for him.

I've believed from the very beginning since July 21st that the Barbie movie came out at the perfect time and was crafted in such a perfect way, released on the perfect date, not too soon and not too late, for it to reach me when I needed it the most. For both characters to extend their hands and say the line "we came for you!!" I always get so emotional thinking about it. I really love how you're phrasing it like Ken's entire existence leads up to healing me and loving me, even if he isn't made FOR me he is still choosing to devote himself to me all the same ;u; hearing you say it just makes it feel all the more validating/real to me. Thank you so much.

God you're right. This hit me so hard. He is a doll. He is made with love, made to be loved, made to love. His whole entire purpose is infused with Love, Love, Love. I know it's silly for me to "fear" my F/Os, especially the kindhearted ones, ever since last year happened, I've been struggling so badly with trying to see my F/Os as safe when I was so unfamiliar with the feeling of safety irl every single day so many months. I keep thinking "Ken can be kind to everyone except me, I am the exception, there is something about me specifically that makes people WANT to hurt me, that is the only way I am loveable" bc I was told so often that I was. like... "cute" when hurt, how the ppl who hurt me had the "urge to protect me" when I was hurting, so they'd hurt me on purpose in order to console me afterwards. and I can't help but get scared that Ken, or any F/O at all, would feel the same way. but gosh I'm just... rereading what you've said over and over again... he wouldn't be built for that. The way you phrase it as him not even understanding the very concept of it... god. yeah. yeah. Nodding my head while reading your message over and over again saying to myself in realization under my breath "yeah.... yeah...." sdflkjslfdf. I've never thought about it this way. I have been trying to tell myself "Ken wouldn't hurt Barbie so that means he wouldn't hurt me either, right?" but then my dumb stupid brain is like "noo you're the exception remember? you're only shown love through violence and that's the way it goes <3" but like. you're over here saying "no no no. he literally CAN'T love through violence. he is not BUILT to love through violence. he cannot FATHOM loving through violence." I've been just sitting here letting myself process that for the last... seven minutes or so, damn. he. literally. isn't. built. for violence. holy shit.

I also very much enjoy the little daydream scenarios you put into my head!!! Horseback riding together!!! oogohghgh I don't think I go a single day without imagining Ken's arms around me while we're riding a horse together and he's gotta heave the BIGGEST LOVESICK SIGH because now he's got his sweet girl (me) and his other sweet girl (Sparkle, our horse).

Augh I could ramble about this forever. This means so much to me Turtle Anon I love you SO MUCH!!!!! Giving you such big hugs. Thank you for taking the time to write all of this for me, to send me reassurances. I appreciate you so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #💌💐#🐢 anon #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-#also i received your other ask you sent last week abt Ken 👀#i am writing up a response as soon as i can. I'VE GOT WORDS TO SAY #I LOVE YOUR THEORIES

6 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

Text

another nd realization like i’m always going “it’s better when there’s an Ensemble Comedy & no ‘relatable’ audience standins or fixed Straight (comedically) Roles imo like why do we Need the back and forth where someone’s clearly doing the sillier / more spontaneous / Not Ordinary thing & someone else is just weirdly flatly Pointing Out like ‘hey...This isn’t normal’ or otherwise issuing Bemused Reactions questioning How this makes sense or Why it’s happening” like not only does it make everything less funny to me imo but i’m like why would you even like, react like that, even in a clearly fictional scripted situation why would it seem Normal for someone to just like insistently react Only in this way or act like they cannot function in this situation / they simply can’t wrap their heads around it

i find it all the more exasperating irl lol and then like ah right i mean i Guess nt people can learn how to be funny, man, but also like got it, it’s also clearly another manifestation of like dealing with The Brick Wall of [this is The social approach & if that’s not what other people are playing at you truly cannot adapt at all to their routine (except Maybe to recognize Goofarounding & only react by laughing / being the Audience)] in the way that you know, it’s like wow autistic people are so rigid & inflexible (as autistic ppl mask all the time / have to try to learn how to best accommodate any/all allistic individuals they interact with; & allistic ppl react to talking to an autistic person with kneejerk assumptions that’ll never be changed, hostility, &/or disinterest / rejection / exclusion, & think that their individual social approach is the sole correct one that they’ll never be changing, thanks) & oh autistic ppl lack Theory Of Mind & are never realizing that someone’s mind doesn’t work the exact same way as theirs (while autistic people Know there’s this lack of alignment from experience, vs allistic people unknowingly misinterpreting shit through their own lens & assuming their “oh this person Must have meant xyz by abc behavior” is immutably correct & never that they might be wrong abt this other person’s thoughts/feelings/intentions actually, and even if Knowing someone’s autistic & thus having some concept that they operate differently it’s like oh so it’s a Lesser version of how I operate then? & they should learn how to think like me? right)

anyways it’s also like obviously getting some more control over your situation if you’re being “weird” in a way people have a framework for like ohh a Joke, i see lmao, various reasons people might try to be The Funny One and/or just like connecting / communicating via humor & having a capacity to do Unusual things on purpose, since they also already exist weirdly / wrongly anyways, and the various reasons they might be seen that way.......like why do i find it irritating to like do anything silly & get the [i am being the straight person here] response of either essentially pointing out it’s Weird / not how things usually work! or Only laughing is like, yeah i already knew it’s b/c like cmon someone get in on the Bit, is the hope here, what was the point if that ball’s completely dropped. like i’m seeing it as a way to have an Exchange, not have a monologue moment (although if i Am monologuing it’s gonna be theatrical / trying to be humorous/entertaining while i am) or so like, not Just this one sided moment, it was an invitation to that Exchange with a clearer setup like, here’s how you can operate at All closer to [on my terms] than like, an nd style group convo which doesn’t really work great lmfao, like being Funny = not small talk, not only/mostly Listening, not getting distracted anyways thinking abt xyz or Knowing if i talk in earnest abt info i have it’s like oh well that’s too much if it’s an interest, that’s also too much if it’s like relevant trivia/fun facts, etc etc. and of course that your being Odd is more resented if you’re just hanging out / trying to participate the way other people are, vs like ohh they’re odd in the good, at all deliberately funny way, that’s more acceptable lol

and like the [smh]ocity of getting along more easily w/people sometimes if they’re at all drunk b/c ppl will get more vivacious / spontaneous like well woe to you but that’s just my usual shit wherein like, the other side of that is someone like oh those antics you were engaging in?? were you drunk lmao??? like no, no i was being myself & engaging my Personality. live a little. you gotta learn how to be funny, man

or at Least just learn to roll with it or god forbid Only have the “lmao” response to other people being spontaneous / silly / responding to something in a way you don’t find Makes Sense / wouldn’t be Your train of thought

this is very much most directly inspired by that text post reblog chain about the dna & someone copy pasting a genome & the other person is like awhat........why would you.......huh..........how..........who........... and the other person explains it like yep a little bit nonsequiturry but the connection is clear & everyone was already joking around, makes sense. with the Other belabored “but............Why” & the final “eh” like i think it’s funny in that i think the copy / paste dna sequence side is fun but i find the Other like “wha??? why????” side Exhausting lmfao, or let’s say, tiresome. but it makes me go “oh yeah, back to the concept of [the Normal One who goes Wha Why Omg] in comedy scenes that i find tiresome & impeding the humor, i guess that just is how plenty of people would react lol” still think it’s unnecessary just full ensemble comedy, anyone can play off of another character or play Against them, we don’t need the person throwing up their hands & looking at the camera quite that hard

#another Uno Reverse comedic difference i realized is the Wordplay thing #i like linguistics & i think it's usually fun & i Love puns lol. love to make them & hear them & the more Involved / deliberately awkward #or say deliberately ''overwrought'' they are the funnier i think it is. i Accept that apparently some people are not amused / truly dislike #it but i sure don't Get that reaction #but there's that other style of Wordplay that's like. kind of tongue twisters i guess? and ppl seem to like it & i'm like oh i hate that lol #like ok That i also find tiresome & unfunny & truly overwrought in an entirely uninteresting way to me. i guess that's [puns] to others lol #you gotta learn how to be funny man..............#like i'm aware me just Being Myself and doing unmasked ''weird'' spontaneous things could itself be seen as funny #(i mean of course see ''winston quant billions likely inadvertent autistic character also mostly to entirely a Joke in the material'')#which is unsurprising. like exaggerated Weirdo side characters in a clear comedic role like idk that's very close to Simply A Moodeth #or it is sometimes anyways lol and yknow s/o i think to comedy for making plenty of shit Explorable in ways that'd be like oh that's simply #too heavy if it was straightforward / dramatic....#anyways like i can also play into it being like ''yes i'm goofin around / being zany On Purpose in ways i know ppl will recognize as a bit''#but it can still be like well hey come on now >:/ depending on the degree ppl are like oh lmfao Howw Absurrdd #like first of all the ideal situation is that someone gets at all flexible w/Their approach to more match mine. i.e. gets in on the bit #second of all it's not gonna be all That absurd lol. i resent that #anyways sometimes Being Funny(tm) is like a masking compromise lmfao or like. my Most Successful mode when interacting w/ppl sometimes is #like well i'm not being Silly exactly but i am engaging w/my own vivacity & theatricality & chattiness & being a bit humorous throughout #it works well enough in shorter bursts & if i'm at all comfortable enough in the first place. & if the other person's similarly inclined lol #otherwise w/o this like Extra Layer of [ok doing this particular performance style] it's like yep still masking but just not really engaging #as often while still trying to operate on other people's terms or what have you & as ever; you're not really liked or accepted necessarily..

2 notes · View notes

stellocchia · 2 years

Note

Already made this rant on the discord but I'm just gonna bring it here too and ad a bit more

"That's not your responsibility" aimed towards Tommy (in Fanfics obviously) is such a pet peeve of mine because there's no like. Police or any other organisation on the server. And usually that's their shit to deal with. Regardless of whether or not they work, irl in our society we have authority figures who are payed to take on responsibility of the wellbeing of private people.

That's not a fucking thing on the dsmp.

And yeah. That doesn't mean that everyone is suddenly responsible for everyone.

But that still leaves Tommy fucking Innit shivering on a fucking beach.

And I fucking hate those scenes where someone tells Tommy to give less of a shit because YEAH

ITD BE FUCKING BETTER FOR HIS MENTAL HEALTH

BUT HES VICTIM NR 1 OF THAT FUCKING MENTALITY

Yeah that worldending thing is not Tommy's responsibility to deal with but it's also apparently not yours and neither is Tommy's wellbeing and yet you're still giving your worthless 5 cents to that.

Guess what

SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO MORE THAN JUST THE BARE MINIMUM

SOMETIMES PPL DECIDE THEY CARE ABOUT OTHER PPL

THATS THE ONLY WAY SOCIETY WORKS

Your right to take care of yourself doesn't erase that someone deserves to be safe and taken care of.

I just fucking hate that kind of scene so fucking much. Don't get me wrong, I don't remember that whole "it's not your responsibility" thing to be shown as like. The right option. What follows isn't Tommy going "shit u rite" and just chillin.

But it's usually resolved as more of a matter of like "no. This is why I feel it's my responsibility"

And that's not part of my pet peeve. It's a good route to take the conversation.

But i really wish a fic would just have Tommy go "yeah and that attitude was why exile happened the way it did. I'm choosing to take this as my responsibility because otherwise noone will deal with it."

Because for fucks sake, guess what. You're not born with responsibility. Responsibility isn't an innate part of life.

Responsibility is something you choose

"you shouldn't have to deal with this" noone fucking should have to. But someone has to deal with it anyways because the problem is not gonna magically disappear.

No but seriously. Like. Similar to that.

Remember back post Wilbur's revival when cBeeduo kinda distanced themselves from cTommy and people started reacting to Inniters being pissed with "he's not their responsibility."

Or when cPuffy decided that being a therapist sucks and people were like "she's her own character, not everything is about cTommy"

Like. Yeah. They're not legally binded to give a shit. But guess what. Giving a shit when you don't have to is how humanity came to thrive.

Those ancient bones that proved that someone healed from an injury that would've meant death if they hadn't been taken care of by others was some other ancient guy deciding he gives a shit despite not having to.

He's gonna inconvenience himself. Make his own life harder. To help out someone else who was on a position where he couldn't make sure he was fine himself.

That's how society works. That's how humanity works.

Like sure, you want to see your fave happy I get it but also be aware that Tommy's support net is made of sillystring and at some point y'all low-key sound like sociopaths when you try to tell us why we are wrong to be pissed that someone who's in a far safer position decides that taking one of those silly strings from Tommy is a worthy sacrifice.

Like. Yeah. Choosing yourself above someone else doesn't make you any worse of a person. But getting pissed at the people pointing at the worse position of that someone else is genuinely uncomfortable behaviour.

Because it's never really about their characters well being. No. It always comes off as them putting the fictional reputation of this fictional character over the fictional wellbeing of that other fictional character. Which yeah. It's fucking fiction. We all know that. But guess what. When both characters are fictional their status as fictional starts mattering less when it comes to how you talk about their conflict.

Now if it's something involving a real person and a fictional character you always choose the real person because. Guess what. They're real.

But when it's just fictional characters? It's more of a thought experiment. And the way you approach the situation becomes... Well...

Like. You know dream apologists? You know how he reason we are all so fucking uncomfortable with them isn't because we genuinely think they're all irl abuse apologists but because the way they talk about this fictional abuse is still uncomfortable and reinforcing actual existing opinions about actual abuse?

Kinda similar to that.

Like again. Obviously I'm not fucking saying that your enjoyment of fictional media reflects in any way your irl thinking or acting.

But that doesn't mean it's not fucking uncomfortable how people go above and beyond to make sure that their fictional character is not morally compromised in accounts to that fictional child.

Their fave character can absolutely be morally grey in all other accounts. But when it comes to cTommy they're apparently squeaky clean.

And that's not even the fucking shit us Inniters are complaining about.

Yeah, I do absolutely agree with you. That's also the reason why I'm kinda uncomfortable with that sort of reasoning.

This idea that just because you don't owe something to someone you shouldn't help them is absolute bullshit.

And it's also, sadly, the sort of mentality that facilitates abuse irl. This idea that "it has nothing to do with me, so I'm not gonna get involved" that's exactly how people justify not helping to themselves.

And, news flash: much like there is no such thing as a completely neutral party in a conflict, there is also no such thing as an innocent bystander in an abuse scenario. If you stay out of a conflict you're taking the side of the stronger party. If you don't intervene in an abusive situation you're aware of you're taking the side of the abuser.

Of course, this is a very simplified explanation of the issue (which means that, yes, there are gonna be exceptions and considerations to be had case by case), but I think that's why it feels so uncomfortable for me, and possibly for you as well. Because, despite the fact that we're talking about fictional characters in a fictional scenario, some of those arguments are still all too real. They are things you hear. Things some people believe irl.

All this is to say that it's just a shit argument. Because of course nobody is forcing you to do things for the people around you, but you do them because it's the compassionate thing to do, and because you'd want someone to do that for you if you were in that position.

And sometimes the right thing to do is inconvenient, or hard, or scary, but, guess what? Someone has to do it. Especially in a context like the dsmp where there are, like, 30 something people living in the world, and half of them are assholes. Like, somebody's gotta help.

#ladycatland ask #dream smp #tommyinnit #'long post'#fandom critical #<< just in case

92 notes · View notes