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chimeralapdog · 29 days

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Hi! This is my first time writing/actually uploading a fic in a long time 😭Crossposting from AO3 <3

Cold Pillows and Warm Blades (894 words)

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of blood, sparring, fighting

“C’mon. Hit me again.” Ghost said huskily, his breathing ragged and uneven. He was practically swaying, his head spinning. But he kept spurring Soap on, for some reason. Maybe he had a death wish. Maybe it was something deeper than that. “It’s not a bad thing to let your anger out, Johnny.” This was the closest thing to intimacy he would let himself have. The feeling of Soap’s knuckles grazing his jaw was the nearest thing to a kiss, a tender caress, that he’d allow himself. It wasn’t a masochistic thing. That was far from what was going on. Any other form of closeness or intimacy was too much. It was overwhelming, stifling. He felt trapped in any kind of tenderness. It was a foreign concept to him.

He waved Soap forward, a slight grin on his busted, bleeding lip. His balaclava hid it, but the stains were visible, the metallic smell and taste of blood inescapable. Ghost figured he’d patch himself up afterwards, his knuckles bruised and bleeding, his nose crooked and aching. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with on his own before. Swiftly, he was knocked out of his thoughts by Soap’s fist directly hitting him in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards. He hadn’t braced himself for that hit, leaving him flat on his back on the mat below the two men. Soap’s voice was muffled in his ringing ears as Ghost lay on the mat, trying to gain his bearings.

“Ghost. Ghost, goddamn you.” He eventually heard Soap growl at him, an almost worried expression on the sergeant’s face. Ghost slowly managed to open his eyes, his breathing still shallow and shaky. “L.T., If you don’t get up, I’m gonna-” Ghost waved off Soap’s worry with a small gesture of his hand, signalling that he was fine. He was more than fine, actually. Sure, he was in immense pain, and was going to be reeling from this for the next couple of days; but it was worth it, in an almost sick way. “I’m fine. Give me a minute.” He croaked out breathlessly, a low chuckle escaping him. He groaned and leaned back onto the mat, letting himself catch his breath. “...You sure?” He heard Soap ask, his tone having an almost hesitant manner to it. “Don’t worry about it. Never seen you so worked up like that.” Ghost says with a low chuckle, a hint of something akin to admiration in his gruff tone.

After a minute, he let himself get up, still refusing to take off that damned bloodstained balaclava of his. “Rough week?” He asks Soap as he limps over to him. Ghost tilts his head to the side as he speaks, an absentminded gesture even he wasn’t aware of. He could taste the metallic flavour of blood on his tongue, and it was almost enough to make him sick, but at the same time…it was nice. It was a reminder that it was Soap’s hands that had caused that. Maybe he was sick, perverse in a deep, irreparable way. “You could say that.” Soap began, looking over Ghost, making sure he was actually alright. Once he was content with Ghost’s condition, he continued. “It’s just been…stressful, I guess, going on mission after mission, not having time to go on leave or anything.” He sighs. Ghost slowly nods his head, making eye contact with Soap for once, his hazel eyes having an indescribable glint to them. “Mhm. ’m in the same boat. I hope sparring helped you out, at least a little. Usually helps me to get anger out in that way.” He muses, the aches and pains from sparring getting to him, not that he’d show it.

“...Yeah. It’s been therapeutic, in a way.” Soap replies, almost unsettled by Ghost’s sudden eye contact. He furrows his dark eyebrows, noticing that Ghost started to sway slightly. “Are you completely sure you’re fine? I got a few good hits on ya.” He asks in an almost apprehensive way, before he gets cut off by another slight wave of Ghost’s hand. “Don’t worry ‘bout me. I’ve been through worse,” He says with a low chuckle, his voice almost strained. “I’m gonna head back to the barracks, patch myself up a little.” He continues, giving Soap a small, very slight wave. “I’ll see you, Johnny.” Ghost says, stumbling back to the barracks, playing off the amount of pain he’s in. He isn’t even close to being fully recovered from the injuries he sustained on the last mission he went on. But in a strange way, this felt worth it. He was able to do something for Soap. He liked feeling useful, feeling like he was able to do something for someone he cared about, even if he didn’t dare let himself say it.

He was completely lost in his thoughts as he entered the barracks, heading to his bunk. Ghost laid down with a groan, the cold pillow beneath his head a reminder of the lonely existence he lived, the solitude he forced himself into. He’s reminded of all the intimacy he won’t let himself have. What’s wrong with him is wrong all the way through him, he thinks. And there has to be something so deeply wrong with him; as there's no way a man of his ranking should be acting and yearning like this.

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghoap #call of duty #modern warfare #modern warefare ii #ghost x soap #my fic #fanfic #what other tags can i put 😭#blood tw #task force 141 #slight angst #??? idk #maybe ooc

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turtleblogatlast · 2 months

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I’ve remembered that colors exist

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #back to black and white for me #just wanted to play with colors and Leo got to be my guinea pig #genuinely I just kept putting layers on top of each other until I was like hm okay #this is why I stick with greyscale 😭#too indecisive for color #turtle art tag #the trans implication was for once accidental but my subconscious is RIGHT actually-#he wears the colors well what can I say #anyway you know it’s not me without tags so here we go #the bros represent the four different times of day SO well #Mikey is Dawn Leo is Day Raph is Dusk and Donnie is Night #you can also argue switching Mikey and Leo around too but I like Leo as day simple bc his blue and stripes work with it #blue for clear blue skies #red stripes for dusk yellow for dawn #‘where are his swords’ in the void #man I wanna draw Leo in blue pink and white more often those really are his colors tbh #not JUST for my trans leo agenda either #on that note Mikey would rock fuchsia #and splash colors like that kickass jacket he had in CDMtT #Donnie would do great in lilacs or silvers #and Raph would kill it in gold #tan too would be so pretty on him and paired with gold? 👌👌👌#not me wanting to draw fashion for them 😭#on a further note April in emerald greennnnn #midnight blue or marigold for her too would be gorgeous #I could go on all day tbh

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beeduoo · 11 days

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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

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hiphopcherrrypop · 3 months

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do i even need to say anything atp

#MY POOKIES 😭😭#bucchigiri?!#hagure tatsuto #jabashiri nagare #anywayx i am thinking.#ship name for them maybe TatRyu #bc its both their nicknames for each other and i think it sound scute ☝️😲#das what i will start tagging my art of them maybe probably #if other ppl have opinions of ship name i am all ears #NOTICE HOW JABASHIRI IS AGAISNT 2 PPL AND NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM BC HE LOOKING AT HAGURE INSTEAD 😄🙏#my poor kitty hagure bleeding #i grt my wish tho i guess bc i was the one saying ‘put that boy in combat i wanna see what he can do’ 😭

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peronasbeloved · 29 days

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you know what fuck it fuck it im brave (shaking) i will just post these already. i don’t have any eyes on this account anyways, so it’s whatever :P brain has kinda been ummm not good lately so save me self shipping art.. save me

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blubble-lake · 7 months

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it's been over 2 weeks and this thing (unfortunately) still has a grip on me

#rant in the tags coming so please do scroll away if you enjoyed the finale 🙏#you know how with some things you'll be like 'I had some negativity towards this thing but--#now that it's been some time I feel better towards it'?#my thoughts on the finale have only gotten worse since it released 🥲#being given more time to think on it made me notice more things I had wrong with it #like I really wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt but it is so difficult #when I tried ranking the episodes from best to least favorite #I'd come to realize that I couldn't put either finale episode above the other for the bottom two #they both gave me the same feeling of being doused in ooze 😭#I've written a good handful more thoughts on why I disliked it since the last rundown I had posted #though I'm afraid if talking about this is considered cringe or old news now that it's been a minute since the eps came out lol #I've watched the finale in full two times just to take everything in but I don't think I can do it again anytime soon #I think there's about 8-10 mins of the finale that I genuinely enjoyed #the rest making me want to cry in disappointment or was just 'okay' to me #just gotta 'it is what it is' my way through knowing the show ended like That. we stay silly!#however- writing about it does give me a little bit of relief lol #adventure time #at #fionna and cake #petrigrof #simon petrikov #betty grof #my post #my art

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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🔥🚨🔥I dont have any specific DNIs BUT! I do not want minors to send asks or DM me directly; thats it! 🔥🚨🔥

• Hello person who stumbled across my sideblog! I am making this pinned post for u!! Yes! You!

• Im Rem! Im NB! I use He/She/They! Im Aroace! And Im not a minor!

• If you see @dissociative-kittens in your activity, thats me!

• I try to tag everything appropriately! All shipping content is tagged with their respective ship names!

• Obligatory ‘yes i find the middle aged fat man hot; this is why i draw him literally nonstop’ statement 😭 I draw ns//fw content for a living, and I am a very loud furry! So like, in the words of that post going around; cool things being created by weirdos is not coincidental; they go hand in hand (<- rent lowering gunshots)

• There WILL be suggestive content on this blog. Not alot, and not explicit for the foreseeable future, but I am putting this out there as a warning and as additional rent-lowering gunshots lmao. Anything particularly suggestive will be tagged as ‘spicy hot’ (no apostrophes, space included)

🔥🔥I dont RP! I dont respond to ask blogs, so please do not send me asks from them!🔥🔥

Okay that was it thank u mwah

#I am just noticing that i am gaining alot of traction over my silly drawings #and im popping up in the MAIN tag #SPECIFICALLY (Top Posts) which is why that ‘small’ comic got so big #and having eyes on me is weird 😭#so i am making this more for other people so that when they reblog the funny hahaheehee meme comic #they dont get assaulted by completely avoidable content #also #with the surge of people being really REALLY scared of ns//fw artists and generally weird/deviant people #even if i know in my heart i will not post anything ns//fw of this game here ever; i have to put out there that that kind of person-#-is making your silly memes hrfhkdbdkdnsks #this is not me trying to be edgy or making a statement or what have u #i am almost always minding my business and existing w my blorbos and my art #but people will be very upset with this and then try to confront me and then get angry when i snapclick block #i will tag as best as i can but it is up to u to properly curate your experience . okay thats it mwah

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mattodore · 4 months

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collection from matthias’s tags 🐺

#i’d add more but i’m on my phone rn so i can’t #river dipping #matthias core #echthroi #moodboard #i think… it’s pretty obvious how he died #like putting all of these together #i think you can honestly piece things together yourself about a lot of what happens to/has happened to mattodore #based on their playlists / core tags / and pinterest boards #if you watch the plague dogs… yeah. that was matthias.#like i said. matthias is ice and water. hail storm. sleet.#…the other side of that where theo resides is all fire everywhere and melting wax #alive in every way matthias isn’t and eating of himself #hm.#yeah.#i just noticed my queue posted while i was looking for these posts in his tags 😭#what a perfect time for that quote to post 😭#anyway… going to read a bit and then i’ll get back to my inbox #i’m trying not to get distracted bc i really want to get this done!!! but yeah #cw blood #cw drowning #cw animal cruelty

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yakny · 4 days

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Knight Bobo, wearing some of the patterns I drew :D!

#LN #colored doodles #bobo #ft.#agata #louie #(sorry. long tags warning ¯\ (ToT) /¯)#putting the blue patterns to use even if she wasn't the intended wearer for them (hey! big bro louie just has to learn how to share! lol.)#i am actually planning to draw all three of them more along with fafnir and some other nobodies. i cri—#speaking of fafnir!!! FAFNIR???!!! offering alcoholic drinks to nidhogg in the 9th anniversary hell event????!!!#fafnir who's helping agata bobo and louie against tyr?!! who has bobo on speed dial for info as she thwarts tyr's plans??? the guy who‚ on #the night louie leaves and visits him for a drink‚ offers him instead a hot cup of MILK and teasingly calls him a child?! ASADJFJDSK!!!#(there's layers to him offering that that makes it funny‚ i promise. he offers concoctions based on a person's personality? i think??? he #offered debbie a cup of milk that TASTES like books and mela something strong. losing it ✋😭) anyways he runs an INTEL TAVERN. is aware of #most things in the north. fuck. wait! omg??? what if he's the same tavern keeper from louie's dreamweaver??? regardless he is aiding #all three of them... somehow... and he's sharing a drink with nid which is funny cause nid is the same guy who has said before ''alcohol #destroys you mind and stops you from making the right choice 🗿'' and there's fafnir sliding a drink to a sad looking nid. asdjsfkgk #FAFNIR please 😭😭😭!!! (fafnir sliding a drink to nid: make some bad choice tonight boy.)#anyways im just happy there's new fafnir art. i was not expecting it. or him alongside nid. fafnir's name is ALSO named after a dragon in #norse mythology. 🤔 turning into a dragon is a symbol of greed. damn. imagine fafnir is ALSO from frigidfog? but then again...#OKAY I'LL STOP!!! (I WILL NOT!!! I AM LOSING MY MIND! THERE'S JUST SO MUCH I CAN PLAY AROUND WITH HERE!)#wait! okay okay okay. what if for some reason fafnir is ratatoskr 👁 👁? like the role he plays as an intelligence collector adds up #as louie said ''(fafnir) you're not even there yet you already know about it'' it's not far fetched #... i am officially losing it. im adding too much depth to a game that has time and time again made itself shallow 😔

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stolen-ass-name · 8 months

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*Guy that has two (2) D&D related interests only voice* Haha Dungeon Meshi x Baldur's Gate 3 crossover when?

#bg3 #dunmeshi #putting the rest of the post in the tags bc I'm crazy insane #Chilchuck and Astarion would not even be able to bond over being the lockpick guys #cause Astarion would take one look at him and immediately start making height jokes #and Chil would hear Astarion's goofy flirting (bad for team cohesion) and immediately evaporate away from the situation #Gale and Marcille on the other hand. bonding over Wanting to be God basically. real #actually Gale is basically Laios if he was Marcille's class which is hilar to me. he eats magic items tho and Marcile is horrified #Shadowheart I'm so sorry I have not learnt much about your backstory so idk what you would do but I think she'd also like Marcille #Gale and Senshi...... cooking friends #Astarion would basically be Kabru to Laios tho Laios'd say some shit and Astarion would just 'Haha yes what fun (I'm going to knife you)'#hates him for his autism or something #Senshi finds out Astarion is a vampire and starts researching blood dishes so he can be included in the meals with everyone ueh ueeh 😭#halfway mark i made myself sad I'll take a break from this post

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daz4i · 8 months

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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better #and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day #despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level #again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know #and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am #other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more #(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent #negative //#ask to tag #sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months #(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere #i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers #and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too #but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little #i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that

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sanchoyo · 1 year

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interview in an hour send good vibes besties 🥺

#🧿…..#🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀….#actually a little less than an hour aaaaa I’ll leave in like 20 mins I’ve been waiting All Day impatiently #I want it to be over 💀#listen even if it doesn’t work for whatever reason. I am trying very hard to consider it practice for other interviews like even if it’s #not The Job it can be A Good Practice Run #nervous. also physically ill rn 😭 im going anyway but I feel like im gonna faint or puke can anxiety stoppp I am trying my best and I look #so cute in my little slacks. im wearing my binder too idk idk the compression feels like a comforting hug rn I need it 😭#idk what im gonna say if it’s a place that actually asks my pronouns like the only place that ever did that was walmart actually #shit place to work but their more recent inclusivity stuff is better than other local places at least #sucks they’re shit pay and shit abt unions etc etc etc #but u could put whatever the fuck u wanted on ur name tag which was awesome there was a lady called granny and no one knew her real name #and gotta say I was a huge fan of that she ruled #sanchoyorambles #on the other hand what if they don’t hire me bc of my blue hair and pronouns (my hair is actually blue so this is even better . I mean #it would suck but the jokes I could make lol)

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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 year

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Mystery bugs in my home and I don't recognize them! I've seen a few around at this point and might make a more formal post about it tomorrow but, mystery bugs below the cut if anyone wants to take a shot at helping me ID them:

Not the best pics but it's got an abdomen with clear markings that make me think either roach or earwig, but photos of the nymphs of either don't seem to be matching up; granted I only looked for maybe 5 minutes and mightve missed something obvious but this guy's not ringing any bells for me