#which i am NOT about to do for reasons of my own plus it would be rude

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

#aita #am i the asshole

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

#also word must really be getting around shawn and gus’s old schoolmates if it reached a kid who moved in i think the 6th grade #but to be fair if someone from my class was solving crimes with his psychic abilities im sure id get a text at least #this is the second classmate thats hired them #also Shawn probably should’ve solved it before the race was started. it was pretty risky to let it go on after someone accidentally died #i scoured the internet for that damn frog #psych #psych rewatch #shawn spencer #burton guster #james roday rodriguez #james roday #dulé hill #dule hill #carlton lassiter #juliet o'hara #henry spencer #timothy omundson #maggie lawson #corbin bernsen #shassie

[bcdrawsandwrites]

[ID: A Team Fortress 2 fanfic chapter banner in the style of the achievement icons. The RED Spy, depicted in solid orange, is standing around a corner, holding up his knife. Meanwhile, the BLU Spy, depicted with orange outlines, is approaching Pyro, preparing to backstab it. Pyro is depicted in solid orange and is preparing to fire its flare gun. The characters are against a gray background. In the bottom right corner in white text against a gray box is text reading "CHAPTER FOUR: SPIES LIKE US." /end ID]

Flickering

Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: K+ Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship Characters: Spy, Pyro, Medic, Heavy, plus some of the other mercs in smaller roles Warnings: General references to trauma, TF2-typical violence, panic attacks, self-harm Fic Description: After the events of the comics, the mercs try to go back to how things were, but it’s never that easy.

Spy can see his teammates going through their own struggles… but something seems to be very, very wrong with Pyro in particular.

And since no one else seems to be doing anything about this, Spy makes it his mission to get to the bottom of what is troubling Pyro. For no particular reason. Beta Readers: @mechmolar, @gonturan0, @junuve

---~~~---

Chapter 4: Spies Like Us Summary: In which Spy does some digging.

---~~~---

Spy knew he was being stared at as everyone stepped out of their vehicles and headed out to the next day's match. He pointedly did not meet their gaze until a flash of white caught his eye and he realized it was not Pyro, but Medic fixing him with a look. "What?" Spy snapped.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but usually I am the one to make the cuts," Medic replied, holding up his bonesaw.

It took a moment for Spy to realize what he meant, and he lowered his voice. "It was attacking me, if you must know."

"Oh, interesting." Medic rubbed his chin in thought. "Was it merely a side-effect of its pyromania, or was it actively attacking?"

"It set one of my items on fire and then attempted to grab me," Spy muttered, then gave a start. "Wait, how did you know that was me?"

Medic gingerly felt over the teeth of his bonesaw. "Not all blades cut the same way. I know the cuts your knife can make."

Spy frowned; it wasn't like it was the first time any of them had fought with each other. But something struck him, and he looked the Medic in the eyes. "You know some things about... that creature, do you not?"

"Somewhat. Why?"

Spy held his tongue for the moment—what would he even ask? It didn't matter—they were nearing the site of their next match anyway. "Nevermind," he grunted, and followed the others to spawn.

Much to Spy's irritation, he found the Pyro already there, and already staring at him. Not this again. He stared back at it, and when it did not waver, he activated his Cloak and Dagger and crept over to another part of the room. The Pyro seemed to have expected this as it crept around, searching for him, but Spy kept his distance.

Well, it seemed his momentary lack of calm hadn't deterred it. He wished he could figure out a way to communicate with it—he made a mental note to ask the Engineer for advice later.

Speaking of, Engineer was approaching Pyro. He patted it on the back to get its attention, and it whirled on him in surprise, but made no sound.

...Sound.

Spy's mind drifted back to the day prior, when he thought he might have heard a faint sound when he defended himself. Had that come from Pyro? He hadn't been entirely sure... but if it had been Pyro, it had made the noise when he'd attacked it.

Interesting.

He wasn't keen to repeat that—Medic would notice again and grow suspicious. But maybe...

"Begin!"

The mercs rushed out into the fray, Pyro following Engineer. So it was going to defend the gadgets again—it would probably be fine while the Engineer was still there, but Spy made a note to check on it later.

The match progressed as usual, and Spy of course did not twist his knife when stabbing the back of an enemy sniper that was aiming at Scout. Once he was sure Scout was able to slip into the enemy base, he turned around to check on the Pyro.

Sure enough, Pyro was defending the Engineer "nest" as fiercely as ever, if not more so. The sentry caught an enemy scout, while an air blast sent an enemy sniper's arrow sailing right back. Spy sat back, cloaked, and watched the Pyro for a moment. Ordinarily he would have been impressed at how efficiently it was defending the Engineer's gadgets and their team's intelligence, but as it stood, he found himself annoyed that no enemy was landing a hit on it, and was then annoyed at his own annoyance.

Spy heard a faint noise behind himself, looked to find nothing there, and knew what that meant.

He should have tried to attack the enemy spy himself. He should have at least called out a warning. But for the moment, he held himself back.

And the Pyro, occupied with firing its flare gun at an enemy soldier, was backstabbed by the enemy spy. It let out a strangled, muffled yelp, and dropped to the ground.

Spy wasted no time in backstabbing the enemy himself before their intelligence could be grabbed. As soon as the enemy fell, Spy bolted back to spawn. He was certain he would find Pyro pouting or throwing a tantrum, and he was already planning a snarky remark to throw at it for finally catching it.

The scene at spawn, however, made the words die on his tongue.

Pyro was kneeling on the floor, hands clutched near its own throat. Its body was shaking, its chest was heaving, and its filtered breathing was rapid.

Was it... panicking?

Before he could be noticed, Spy cloaked himself, but he only continued to stare, dumbfounded. He could not recall an instance of Pyro acting this distressed, ever. Even when they had been attacked by the blood-sucking robots before, Pyro had not panicked. Why now?

The match was still progressing, but Spy found himself rooted in place. What was he even supposed to do?

Fortunately he didn't have to wonder for long. In a flash of light, Soldier burst into existence next to Pyro, stumbling as he recovered from the respawn.

The Pyro immediately drew in a sharp breath, shakily rising to its feet as Soldier got his bearings.

"Blasted sniper shot me right out of the air," Soldier grumbled, turning to glance at Pyro. He gave a double-take when he saw it still breathing heavily and trembling slightly. "Now's not the time to be quaking in your boots, Smoky Joe! Move out!" With that, he charged out of spawn.

Shaking its head, Pyro followed Soldier. It ran past Spy's hiding spot, but paused just at the doorway, leaning a hand against it as it fought to catch its breath again. Its breathing had calmed, but it was still shaking.

For the briefest of moments, Spy considered saying something, but held himself back, and Pyro moved on.

Well... this would certainly be something to keep in mind. As it was, however, Spy crept back out into the fray, looking to place some sappers on the enemy sentries. It was time to focus on the match, and he wasn't keen to see... whatever he'd just seen again anytime soon.

—-

Rather than retreating to his smoking room, Spy immediately headed for the Medic's lab, activating his cloak as he did so. Medic had not yet arrived, as he was preoccupied with celebrating with some of their fellow mercs. Spy didn't know quite how long he'd be away, so he would try to keep it quick.

His cloak wore off as he reached the doors to the lab, but that was fine. He'd be alone in here, so—

He opened the doors to a flutter of pigeon wings and immediately winced. Ah, yes, the pigeons. Well, he'd have to watch that they didn't leave droppings on his suit, but he should be fine otherwise.

Turning to the desk, he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of gleaming fangs in a set of red jaws open wide. But then Aristotle closed his mouth again with a contented sigh, and snuggled deeper into the spare coat that Medic had left draped over the desk.

Wonderful.

Well, at least he was still asleep. Spy checked his watch, but it hadn't recharged just yet. He'd have to be careful around that stupid baboon.

Creeping over to a nearby filing cabinet, Spy checked it over before selecting the middle drawer. It opened with a soft rattle, and a quick glance at the birds and the ape assured him that he hadn't attracted their attention. From there he flipped through the folders and smiled as he came across one marked with a flame symbol.

Perfect.

Spy slid the folder out of the drawer and began to skim the papers within. They were all medical documents, of course. Several were injury reports detailing gun and knife wounds and their treatment, almost always involving a simple application of the medi gun. These interested him less, though he did briefly skim the report the Medic had written after they'd returned from Gray Mann's base. It was a report detailing the process of the emergency blood transfusion that Pyro (as well as multiple others) had gone through. It wasn't a procedure Spy cared to dwell on, having gone through it himself, but he did take note of a scribble toward the bottom of the sheet that mentioned Medic had had to clean the soot off of the tools he'd used after he'd operated on Pyro.

His mind yanked him back to the smell of blood mixed with soot from last night (and a more distant smell of blood and smoke), and he quickly moved on to the next few papers.

Still very little yielded information that was relevant. Spy already knew that the Pyro could be injured and could bleed just like the rest of them, though there were frustratingly few notes on its physiology other than the soot, and nothing about its mental state. If there was any injury that had left Pyro shaken, Medic had not noted it.

Something else was missing as well. While the file listed many injury reports, there was no medical profile, which might have yielded more answers. Why would it not be in Pyro's file? Surely it would be kept here, unless it were—

Spy paused, and looked at the desk again. There, on the right side, just barely poking out beneath the coat the monkey was sleeping on, was a stack of papers.

Grimacing, Spy put the file away and gently shut the drawer, keeping quiet so as to not wake Aristotle or aggravate the pigeons. The baboon merely sighed, his tail twitching in his sleep.

Spy crept up to the desk, watching the baboon all the while. When it did not stir, he grabbed the edges of the papers, slowly easing them out from under the coat. After a small eternity, they came loose, and Spy was finally able to search through them.

It didn't take long to find the Pyro's class symbol, and he began looking over the papers. One was an injury report. Spy skimmed it, realized it was detailing a knife wound in the arm, and quickly set the paper aside. The next sheet, meanwhile, profiled the Pyro.

...Or attempted to.

Name, age, gender, and country of origin were all listed as "unknown." Spy had expected as much. The height and weight were listed, with a caveat that the weight included the clothing. A blood type was listed as well. The notes that followed, however, were far more interesting:

Species: Unknown.

Patient would not submit to a standard physical.

Higher body temperature than standard, often exceeding 100 F. Patient shows no signs of illness, so this is taken to be normal.

Patient's body is perpetually covered in soot. Body emits a faint glow beneath.

Internal anatomy roughly comparable to humans. Megababoon heart replacement was successful. Patient was awake for surgery and behaved in a threatening manner when further examination was attempted. (Someday...)

Fascinating, but not exactly information that would help him. He was nearly tempted to crumple the paper in frustration when he noticed a small "1 of 2" at the bottom. So there was more information, but another quick search of the papers he'd pulled out did not yield an answer. He looked back at the lab coat, and noticed one last paper sticking out from beneath it. Eyebrows raising, he began to lift up the coat again, only to pause.

...Wait.

He stared at the white coat and the brown hairs dotting it, and slowly turned his gaze to the left.

Aristotle stared at him, then gave a quiet ook.

"AGH!" Spy cried out in spite of himself, jumping back, and immediately the baboon began to shriek. The pigeons startled from their roosts, flying every which way, and Spy scrambled to avoid them.

Aristotle was leaping around the lab erratically, shrieking and howling and beating his tiny fists against every surface he encountered. Papers scattered everywhere, and a few vials were knocked to the ground and shattered.

"Merde!" Spy hissed through clenched teeth. Grasping his watch, he activated his cloak, and cast one last look at the chaos behind him as he bolted out the door—

—straight into the Medic, who subsequently crashed backward into Heavy. Spy's cloak flickered at the collison, but it was enough.

"Ah, Spy," Medic said, an unhappy smile crossing his face. "I didn't hear you come in, but I certainly heard you leave."

As Spy turned off his cloak, Aristotle scrambled out of the lab and leaped up into Medic's arms, chittering and pointing at Spy.

"Yes, thank you, Aristotle, I noticed."

"What is Spy doing in Medic's lab?" Heavy asked, brow furrowed.

"Nothing, now," Spy muttered, and brushed past them, only for Heavy to grab his arm. "What—"

"I don't appreciate people snooping around my lab," Medic said, staring directly at Spy and petting Aristotle. "What were you trying to get into?"

"I was merely performing an investigation. It has nothing to do with you!" Spy struggled to pull his arm away, but the Heavy held tight.

"I see! Nothing involving me... in my lab."

"Spy is acting strange," Heavy said, his grip tightening ever so slightly. "Maybe is not our spy."

Spy went still for fear the Heavy would break his arm. "I'm not, I—" He faltered. "I used my disguise kit to turn into Bela Lugosi when we watched that terrible movie a couple Halloweens ago."

Heavy immediately let go, while Medic gave him a look of bewilderment that was shared by Aristotle. "You what—"

"Spy is our spy," Heavy said simply, and crossed his arms. "Still acting funny, though."

"Yes," Medic agreed. "What are you up to?"

Brushing off his sleeve, Spy heaved a sigh. "I was just looking into some files."

Medic eyed him for a long moment, while Aristotle fixed him with a judgmental stare. Then the Medic's eyebrows raised in recognition. "Ah, you were peeking into Pyro's files, weren't you?"

Spy looked away, idly lighting a cigarette. "That is classified information."

"Indeed!" Another unhappy smile crossed the Medic’s face. "Those documents are classified."

He bit into the filter. "You're one to talk about ethics, Monsieur Working-for-the-Other-Team."

"We were fired," Heavy cut in. "It was only team at the time."

Spy opened his mouth, faltered, and let out a stream of smoke through his nose. "Fine. Yes, I was searching the Pyro's file for information."

"Information that you were about to ask me for this morning." Medic looked him in the eyes.

Sighing, Spy turned away, his feet itching to retreat back to his smoking room, or his bedroom, or literally anywhere else. "Oui. I just decided to take matters into my own hands."

"Why?"

He paused. Slowly he turned to face Medic and Heavy again. "What?"

"Why take matters into your own hands?"

Heavy nodded. "Spy's hands are tiny. Cannot hold much."

"You are not a doctor," Medic went on. "Why not ask one, if you are seeking medical information?"

"Because..." Because why would you want to help? "Because it is my mission."

Shrugging, Medic allowed Aristotle to hop down from his arms. "Well, I'm not part of this mission, so I suppose I will not pry." He then crouched down to address the monkey. "Come now, Aristotle. Help me clean this mess."

With a snort, Spy turned to leave, only to jump back when Heavy's arm blocked his path. Spy glared up into the Heavy's face. "What?"

"Spy's hands are tiny," he repeated.

Spy's teeth ground against his cigarette. "Yes, compared to your monstrous mitts."

Pulling his arm away, Heavy held out his palm. "Heavy's hands are much bigger. Can hold more, help carry."

Freezing, Spy looked between Heavy's hand and face a few times. Finally he gave a derisive snort. "What would I need help carrying?" he grumbled, and stormed off.

#tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #team fortress 2 #fanfic #flickering fanfic #my art #my writing

[kaladinkholins]

Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #just in case... im gonna tag this as #mizukemicritical #akemizucritical #though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters #for that reason lemme also tag this as #wank.mp3 #feel free to disagree of course but please be civil #and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3 #fandom.rtf #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun! #it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it #it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future #but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me #but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!! #plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!! #i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!! #but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[deityofhearts]

rn I’m getting through life by romanticizing the idea of me living in a bigger city (not like. new york sized but like just one of our bigger neighboring cities) and working as a librarian or library assistant there or something and having a quiet simply life and a regular routine that I go about

#deity dialogue #or like working at a book store #idk in my head it’s a simply cozy life it’s nothing big or special but it’s nice and comforting to me #I wear silly little outfits I go to nice shops in my spare time then I return home to sit in my room with fluffy and draw #that’s my dream #and I have enough money to live comfortably god #idk I fluctuate on things like #I do not wanna live where I live now like the white county I don’t wanna be here #but idk where else I’d go in the world like idk where to travel or where else to live #so I’d probably still be in the south and still close to where I live now but about an hour or so out of the way which isn’t too far #there’s more to do where I wanna live there’s more places to work more places to go for funsies more places to live etc #where I live at is just. I’m sorry it’s shit the whole area sucks as do the surrounding areas there’s nothinggggg #I don’t want to live here all my life I’m already miserable enough I don’t wanna be even more miserable by never leaving #and yeah the other place isn’t that far away but maybe I’d be happier there? in a place with more to do more people to meet etc etc #idk #I also am aware it would cost more but everything is already expensive may as well try somehow #if I can manage to save money and get a job in that city somehow then I could start saving more and then my roommates and I could move there #idk just agh. ideally I’d live somewhere even farther even more interesting and lively but again idk where I’d even go and I know my #roommates wouldn’t wanna go much farther than where we already have talked about for their own reasons #but I’m not someone who can live alone just too much fear and paranoia. my ideal living situation is to live with other people and we’re all #in equal standing and like have equal responsibilities and pay and manage everything equally which is what my roommates and I plan #those two would be able to live on their own fine and I envy that I’m just too anxious to be alone plus just. I can’t conceive being alone #I would be too lonely and depressed lmao I like having another persons presence ya know? #anyways idk why I’m talking so much in the tags but like I always do #I just want to live somewhere where I’ll be happy with people I like and working a job that doesn’t make me wanna kms and have enough money #to where I’m not constantly stressed about everything and can maybe even afford nice little things #it jsut feels like asking for any of that much less all of it is asking too much :( #I’m hashtag depressed about being alive

[spirit-praise-and-beauty]

venting in tags again dont rb

#ohhh my god i am sick of everything. #im starving but too proud to ask for money #im stuck in my room bc if i leave im gonna get faced with some shit thatll only serve to make me angrier #everyone i know. EVERYONE with NO EXCEPTIONS is SEVERELY toeing at my boundaries lately #my sleep schedule is so fucked idk if i can make it to work on time #i have literally NO means to calm down except possibly robbing the liquor cabinet #which i am NOT about to do for reasons of my own plus it would be rude #i have shit i still have yet to reschedule. i have to get these things done THIS MONTH #but with how many FUCKING times ive had to reschedule it it doesn’t feel even worth it anymore #even though this is something that could land me job security for the rest of my fucking life #im falling deeper and deeper into a pit of addiction to weed that i cant climb out of because nothing else fucking works #i cant fucking find a therapist and my old one is always booked #everything has gone to so much shit and im tired of it #i have nothing left going for me #and frankly id rather die than keep living like this #i can’t ‘theres so much beauty in the world i have yet to experience’ my way out of this one

[flamingpudding]

I have a theory!

Duke groaned, his head tumping against his desk on his side of the room. He had heard these words often enough by now to know that his roommate was going to start ranting about something strange but weirdly fascinating again.

The last time his roommate started with that, he went on a rant how all rich people have a secret basement below their homes or some secretly identities with a bulletpoint list of what to look out for as a warning. Which Duke had a hard time not laughing about as he thought about Bruce, who ended up checking a lot of the bulletpoints.

"Danny what is it now?" Duke ended up asking after all. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop his roommate. No one aside from his sister apparently could, Danny even gave her number to Duke as an emergency number in case Danny ever gets so caught up in his own thoughts that even he himself couldn't stop himself anymore. Yeah that was weird to watch Danny trying to stop himself, but it was fascinating that his sister only needed to say his name twice over the speaker.

"Duke hear me out!" Okay of to a good start, so this meant Danny wasn't a hundred percent behind his own theory.

"Red Hood is a ghost or part ghost!"

If Duke had been drinking something, he would have taken a spit take here. For some reasons he had the image of Jason wearing a bed sheet saying the most deadpan 'Boo' in his head when Danny said that. He coughed, trying to hide that amusement. "What makes you say that?"

"You know how you 'saw' that I am a 'Meta'?" Danny ask him in return and Duke nodded still feeling a but weird with how Danny sounded when he refred to himself as Meta but also vividly remembering how his roommate pretty much blinded him on the day he moved into the dorms. "I can kind of see something similar. Like I explained how I have a ghost sense and all that, right?"

"Yea, you did." Duke nodded along, he new his roommate became a Meta through a lab accident. Once Duke had asked him and they had the cleared the air about both of them being Metas, Danny had somewhat opened up a bit on his whole weird family and Duke thought his family wasn't normal but compared to the Fentons the Batfamily might as well could be.

"Well last night I ran into him when I went scrap collecting for my engineering project!"

"DANNY!" Duke couldn't help but scowl. One the school was providing materials, Danny didn't need to do that and two, if he met Red Hood aka Jason that meant Danny wandered far enough to end up near or in Crime Alley! He would need to bug Jason later to find out more about that.

"I know, I know." His roommate waved him off. "Anyway, my ghost sense tingled. Soooo Red Hood got to be a ghost or part ghost, considering he hit a wall instead of phasing through it when he chased me..."

"Danny!" Duke scowled him again, hidding his amusement behind it. Now, he really had to get THAT story out of Jason later, plus he wanted to see if there maybe was possible video proof of Jason running into a wall chasing after Danny.

"Anyway! I got more than just that! Listen here, you know how I told you about some of my parents' inventions..." Danny instead continued finally starting his rant.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #crossover #duke thomas #jason todd #duke and danny are roommates #danny has theories #and duke has to listen to them #some of them are really funny #he will use them to tease the rest of the batfam #random late night thoughts #stress writing #prompt idea

[daybrightsims]

Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3

To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.

I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.

I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.

Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).

Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).

Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.

Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).

Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.

Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.

I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.

Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”

To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.

If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.

If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.

Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.

But it does.

Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.

Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 companions #spawn astarion #astarion #polyamory #enm #ethical non monogamy #halsin x astarion #act iii #halsin #monogamy

[yanderehsr]

Yandere Lyney, Zhongli, Dottore ((why not)) Neuvillette and Tighnari bring up the idea one day that they want a baby but darling dislikes children so she keeps changing the subject or ignoring the idea all together completely shutting that thought down plus the very idea of it makes her stomach cringe having a baby with them

I have a good idea which 4 I'll pick here, Hope you'll enjoy😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapping, Suggestive in all of them, proceed at your own risk

Zhongli: You can't tell me this guy doesn't want children with you at all costs, so when you change subject and reject the idea, it honestly hurts him a bit, did you not want to have children with him, isn't he good enough. He can't deal with that, he is going to have a child with you no matter what you say.

All Zhongli needs is to slip you some nice sleeping aids, and he'll whisk you away to somewhere so far removed from society that only he knows about it, you have only yourself to blame here, if you hadn't rejected him then this wouldn't be happening at all, you will wake up sore with Zhongli cuddling you, you have no idea where you are and you feel strange, weird huh.

"This wouldn't be happening if you just accepted it from the very beginning. I am sure you'll be a great mother"

Dottore: Let's be honest here, this freak doesn't do this because he has a kink or because he genuinely wants a family, these children serve two reasons. One, they will bind you to him, it's something of a possessive bond. Two, they are experiments plain and simple.

Dottore also finds a bonus in all of this, he can use children to threaten you to be compliant, he doesn't care about your refusals or your discomfort, he just wants to pump a baby into you so it's easier to get you to obey. He doesn't even hide it and that's what is scariest.

"Wake up, I have confirmed that it worked this time... why are you crying, aren't you happy to have a child? No matter, you are having it whether you want to or not"

Neuvillette: He has brought it up to you so many times and each time you either change subject or completely shut the idea down, it's honestly starting to get to him a little, shouldn't the ultimate goal of any female be to have a child, that is atleast what he understood from other humans.

Neuvillette isn't someone who would force you to have a child, that would go against his morals, or the little morals he has left after kidnapping you, you can at the very least be happy he isn't someone who would force this, he will continue asking tho, hoping that one day you will say yes.

"I just wanted to bring up the subject of potential future childre-... Oh, ok, I understand, could you tell me how your day has been at the very least"

Tighnari: Fennec foxes mates for life, meaning they only get together with one person ever, and that so happens with you, Tighnari does want children but wont force anything if you don't want it, that is until he enters his heat.

Tighnari before a heat will force you away from him, but this time he forgot, and you happened to walk in on him during the heat, he would catch you quickly to have his way with you, he can't really control what he's doing here, but when he goes back to normal he finds himself happy instead, he is sure you'll make a great mother.

"Well there's nothing we can do now about it... you don't need to be so sad about it, I'll be with you every step of the way, MY mate"

#yandere #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere male #yandere zhongli #yandere zhongli x reader #yandere dottore #yandere dottore x reader #yandere neuvillette #yandere neuvillette x reader #yandere tighnari #yandere tighnari x reader

[pedgito]

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 | Javier Pena x fem!reader

summary | your boyfriend delivers the worst news possible on what should be a day filled with love. luckily your coworker is there in wait, not allowing a perfectly good dinner reservation to go to waste. [2.5k]

content warning | this is probably the tamest thing i've ever written, who am i? mostly fluff, vague descriptions of your boyfriend (technically ex-boyfriend/some misogyny (not by javi), small age gap, co-workers, dinner dates and more, unrequited (innocent) crushes, minimal spanish (mostly just pet names), open-ended

author’s note | @pascalispretty happy valentines day!! this is my first time doing one of these and i was your secret valentine, but i hope you enjoy! i haven't written for javi in so long and i was really craving some soft!javi so this was a joy to write. i hope you enjoy!

You hated the stigma around holidays and what they meant, what they entailed, and why people upheld them so highly. But, here you were—tapping your fingers insistently against the desk across from the pool of DEA agents who would throw a file of paperwork on your desk and expect it to magically poof away and, by default, relinquish themself of any responsibility over it in the process.

You couldn’t fault them all—some of them actually managed to follow instructions. A signature here and there, all in order, leaving with little work to do other than file it away. Murphy followed it to a degree that made you think he probably has some time of background outside of here, back in the states. Always uniform, always proper—he’d been a good addition from the start and a perfect match to Javier Pena’s strong personality and unwillingness to give up control.

He also smiled at you every morning and offered a kind greeting, a small acknowledgment of your existence which couldn’t be spared by many others.

As for Javier—he did the work. There was never an issue, but halfway through an expository to a question he asks his attention is drawn elsewhere. Usually to one of the other few in-office secretaries or visitors that just couldn’t resist a bite at the overconfident and suave agent.

You could see the appeal, but that didn’t mean you had to like it—sometimes it impeded your ability to communicate with him and it really, really annoyed you.

Plus, your boyfriend was perfect. Too perfect that it felt unreal at times, but as all things in your life tended to implode on you—you were waiting for the ball to drop.

“Buenos días, señorita.” Javier greets with a smile that shines perfectly under his thick mustache, dressed in his usual pairing of tight jeans and form-fitting button up. This one was pink though, or a deep red. Jesus, how many different ones did he own?

You snort softly, “Morning, Javi.”

And you’re expecting that crisp folder to slide onto your desk but he’s traversing down the steps into the bay of other desks, straight for his. He’s still in eyeline, his and Steve’s shared workspace right in the center.

His eyes flit up briefly, scanning the room before they land on you again and of course you’re staring, but not for the reasons he’s assuming. And there’s a fierceness behind your eyes that he’s seen before, like he’s about to be lectured.

You grab at an empty file on your desk and hold it up lazily, eyebrows raising in expectation. 

“Oh shit,” He curses lowly, but not soft enough for you to miss before he’s reaching in his desk and holding up the paperwork, “Here—I’ve got it.”

You pluck the item from his grip as he approaches, this time lingering. He’s got his fingers spread out wide on your desk and he leans, practically towers as you sift through his work quietly before jotting something down on a separate sticky note and filing it away for the time being.

“Sorry, bonita,” He apologized, some sincerity in his voice, “I stayed late last night and finished it up but you were already gone—I don’t forget, you know that.”

“All good,” You offer a polite smile and he still doesn’t move, nodding kindly to a few women that pass by, seemingly more done-up than usual, “big plans tonight?”

A man like Javier, there was no way he spent Valentine's Day alone.

Javier offers a non-commital shrug and nods his head in your direction, “What about you? You got that boyfriend, right? Kid with the glasses?”

And okay, Javier was a good chunk older than you. Ten years, maybe. But, kid? Please.

“Yes, that kid.” You roll your eyes light-heartedly. “Um, I reserved a table for dinner at that restaurant Steve recommended a couple months ago. The one he took Connie to.”

“Yeah—yeah, I know that place.” Been a few times, it lingers on his tongue. It didn’t matter if he went alone, the food was decent enough. “You made the reservation?”

“Come on, Javi,” You slap at his forearm gently, “It's not that big of a deal—besides I just…need a break. I thought dinner would be nice.”

“You know I can’t judge you for living at this place,” Javier says around a soft chuckle, “I’m guilty of it too.”

Many nights spent stuck in the office with just you and Javier—the occasional appearance of Steve. It led you to learn a few things about the men, even if inadvertently.

When leads were dry, Javier will go through half a pack in a day and Steve would chew at his fingernails almost constantly, tapping and fidgeting nearly nonstop. They both had obvious tells—a more obvious one for Javier being the close-mouthed smile he gave to women he wasn’t interested in but still remained polite to while the other, the unabashed grin was reserved for the women who piqued his interest.

He's given you both, but that was beside the point. 

“Any recommendations?” You ask curiously, fidgeting with the plastic clip on your pen.

Javier considers it briefly, lips pursing together as he taps his pointer finger in thought, “Well, the Pescado Frito they have is pretty good—can’t really go wrong with that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You note, leaning back in your chair as you spot Steve making his way into the office.

“I thought you hated holidays like this?” Javier questions curiously, a sentiment he shared. They seemed pointless outside of the few that offered him a reprieve from work.

You shrug, looking away briefly to avoid his steadfast gaze.

“Well, I don’t think all of us are impervious to stuff—I wanted to do something…nice. I guess?”

Javier isn’t entirely convinced, seeing the uncertainty in your shy smile but he lets it go, slapping the desk lightly before waving a quick goodbye as Steve pulls him aside.

It had to be intel—and good intel at that by the way Javier’s face morphs into sudden interest, thumb and pointer finger brushing over his mustache.

And really, you shouldn’t keep staring at him. Not with that dinner on the forefront of your mind, the one you had so meticulously planned out for you and your boyfriend.

Things had to be perfect. There was no other option.

But, then Javier chances another glance in your direction and something swells in your throat—anxiety, sadness. You can't quite place it, but you swallow it down. Force it away.

Only a few more hours to go.

-

The call comes an hour before you’re due to head home, already packing up your belongings preemptively. And you smile at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice.

It’s been a few months. Good months. Too good.

He was younger, like you—some IT guy in his earlier twenties with a kind heart. Or, so you assumed.

“Hey,” You answer softly, lightly into the phone, “reservations are in a couple hours.”

“About that,” His voice sounds off, distant, “I don’t think I can make it.”

Your heart drops into your stomach and you find yourself chewing at your bottom lip in worry, watching wearily as Javier and Steve hold matching coffees in their grip, marching back to their desks in sync. Javier’s gaze lingers for a moment, a normal motion he did just to check on you.

Nothing more.

But, he spots the change in your emotion.

Still, he continues on.

“What—I—I’ve had these reservations for two weeks,” You reply in a hushed voice, trying to contain your frustration, “what happened—what changed?”

“I just—I don’t really know how to say this,” The dread is immediate, but your mind is filled with anger—rigid, bitter anger that wants to bite, “I think we should break up.”

“Are you fucking serious?” The small outburst catches the attention of you people but you avoid their gaze, even more pointedly Javier, who’s gone from inconspicuously spying to full on gawking now, alongside Steve who had a sudden interest. They’ve never seen you like…this. “Today? This felt like a good thing to tell me today?”

“I’ve been trying—“

“You’re an asshole.” You bite harshly, “You can pick your shit up from my apartment this weekend.”

You don’t let him have the final word, slamming the phone back down into the receiver and ignoring the gathering stares and sparse, hushed whispers.

You could sit and wallow, allow yourself to stew in regret and worry, wondering what you did wrong—but you knew it wasn’t you. It couldn’t have been. All the trying and trying and trying you do, the maximum amount of effort met with little enthusiasm. You were naive to think that things would work,

You’re thankful when the shift nears its end and people file out quietly, albeit with a few side-stares, you find yourself mulling over the idea of canceling the reservation completely. But, then there was perfectly good, hard-earned money going to waste. And you could eat by yourself, but the idea seemed even more miserable as you had specifically booked a table for two, decorations and accommodation to match. It felt ridiculous, in hindsight. 

You pass the stack of paperwork off to your boss as you step into his office, scurrying back to your desk with your head down—already prepared to go home and wallow in your self-pity.

“You alright?” Javier asks suddenly, jumping slightly at his voice as you turn on your heels, hip bumping into your desk in the process, wincing at the pain, “shit—sorry.”

He’s smiling to lighten the mood but it doesn’t help.

“You’re…fine,” You wave him off, leaning into the weight of the desk as he lingers, fingers shoved into the front pockets of his pants, “I’m heading home in a bit.”

“No dinner?” He asks curiously—if he was attempting to be coy he was doing a terrible joy.

It was only minimally amusing, cracking a smug smile at his obvious prying. 

“No dinner,” You confirm, “and he broke up with me, so…”

“Cabrón,” He says under his breath, but it isn’t lost on you, “I’m sorry—that’s…fucked up.”

You shrug, “Now I’m debating on canceling and wasting the money I put down to reserve it or looking pathetic if I show up by myself—“

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Javier defends, speaking entirely from personal experience. 

“Javi, it’s Valentine’s Day.” 

“And?”

Suddenly though, you’re struck with an idea. 

“Are you busy?” You ask curiously and Javier raises a curious eyebrow your way and smirks, “No ladies in waiting tonight?”

“Not yet.” Javier jokes lightly, knowing his usual routine of hitting the bar after work would end in one of two ways, and even if he didn’t mind spending his nights alone, it was nice to be in the company of others in whatever capacity.

“Go with me.” You suggest, poking at his bicep. “Since you love the place so much.”

“Come on, hermosa,” Javier chides playfully, “If you wanted to take me on a date, just ask.”

You grin wide, heart fluttering at the flirtatious tone he carried in his voice—it wasn’t something you weren’t used to, but it was never so pointedly directed at you.

“I am,” You tell him, “I just—I’ll need to go home and change first.”

His brow furrows and he looks you over, seeing nothing wrong, “Why? You look fine. You always do.”

It’s something he tells you daily—and maybe he has his own selfish reasons, though you know he does it to most of the women in the office, but the way he’s saying it to you now feels different.

He means it, no humor in his voice.

“My—” You can’t even address him in the moment, rolling your eyes with full force as you rub your fingers over your forehead to will away the lines of stress that form there, “I just—he used to say work clothes never complimented me very well. I already had a dress picked out, I can be quick.”

“Save it. I think you look perfect.” Javier affirms softly, keys jingling in his back pocket as he fishes them out, “I’ll drive us.

“But, my car—”

And hand breaches your shoulder, hot to the touch as his fingers curl around your form.

“Hey,” He’s searching for your eyes, waiting until they lock with his own and he nods, expecting the same motion to make sure you’re with him, “I’ll drive you there and back, you don’t have to change—we can enjoy some good food and forget about your shitty boyfriend, alright?”

You nod quietly, earning a gentle squeeze in response.

–

It wasn’t a date, not in the slightest. But, Javier did his damndest to make you feel like it was.

And maybe it was the guilt over him knowing you just got dumped—that whatever you had spent so much time planning had fell out underneath you, but it didn’t quell the nervous anxiety that you felt as you both sipped on a shared bottle of wine and your separate dinners, watching Javier grimace around the lip of his wine glass.

“Horrible, right?” You laugh softly, watching as he forces the liquid down and nods jerkily.

“Food is great, though—the wine,” Javier makes a face of uneasiness that has you covering a laugh with your palm, “—that’s why I stick with tequila or whiskey.”

“Can’t say I have much of a preference,” You admit, “as long as it does the job.”

Javier nods knowingly, stabbing his fork into a piece of food and chewing thoughtfully, the fingers of his unoccupied hand rubbing together as an idea forms in his head, “You know, if you’re not busy I was going to meet up with Steve and Connie for a drink. Later tonight—if you’re interested?”

You can’t believe how instantly you want to agree, blaming it on your impulsivity. 

“Javi, I don’t know,” You respond quietly, “I don’t—I don’t really go out like that.”

“Well—that dress you were talking about. It wouldn’t go completely to waste if you wanted to wear it out tonight. Plus, you treated me to a nice dinner—let me treat you to a couple drinks.”

It sounds like the perfect idea. Too perfect. Too good to be true.

“Javi,” You tease shyly, “if you’re trying to ask me out on a date just say it.”

Javier chuckles softly and you know it’s only an attempt to make a shitty day not so shitty, but the underlying chase you two have allowed to happen for so long now was unobscured by outside forces and you hated how easy it was for him to distract you from everything that had transpired today.

“Is that a yes?” Javier teases.

You sigh reluctantly, though a subtle grin pulls at your face, eyes soften at the expectant look on Javier’s face, all puppy-eyed and nothing like the man you’re used to seeing in the office. This was a side of him that felt new and you were curious to discover more. You nod.

“Well, hermosa—I guess it’s a date then.”

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier peña #pedro pascal #my writing #spacesisterssecretvalentine

[dumbseee]

noticed pt2.

f1 au/fic: having her celebrity crush as her boyfriend was something y/n didn’t expect to happen, which she also didn’t expect is the hate she would’ve receive.

lando norris x reader.

fc: bruna marquezine.

part 1.

note: i wasn’t planning on doing a part 2 but you guys asked so you shall receive :) (i wrote that very quickly so it’s not that good i’m so sorry)

liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, pierregasly and 230 997 others.

y/n: lil photo dump because i’m living my best life with my loved ones <3 have a nice week guys!

_

landonorris: pretty girl <3

liked by y/n.

francisca.cgomes: had the best time with you baby

yourfriend: you’re shining girl

fan1: who tf is y/n? why is she even so popular?

fan2. @.fan1 bc she’s fucking lando and people have an obsession with wags

fan3: ew such a whore

fan4: why is she always half naked?

fan5: i’d be so embarrassed if i were lando bc wtf is she wearing?

fan6: lando RUN

fan7: y’all see a pretty woman dating y’all favourite driver and decide to hate her for no reason

fan8: y/n get behind me

you couldn’t stop crying, you didn’t know what you did to deserve that. you deactivated all your socials so you won’t receive any messages from people with bad intentions, and turned off your phone that kept buzzing with notifications from friends and family. you tried to call lando, to make sure he knew that this was bullshit and that never would you even think about cheating on him. you did go to neymar’s party but only as your friend’s plus one. you talked with the footballer but for literally five minutes. the girl in the picture wasn’t you and you prayed that lando knew that. but he wasn’t answering his phone and that actually made you panic even more. your whole body was shaking, you were having a panic attack and you didn’t know how to calm it since you never had one before.

this situation was horrible for you, you didn’t even know how to fix it, of course it was all a lie but would the internet believe you? deactivating all your socials could be seen as suspicious by fans. they hated you anyway so whatever excuse you’d come up with, they’d never believe you. would lando even believe you? that thought made you sob even more, you struggled to breath and fell on the ground, resting your head on your knees. you could hear your heart beats going way too fast and you prayed for someone to help you because you were going to die from that damn panic attack.

"y/n! hey y/n!" you heard a voice, but it was faint, as if someone was calling you from very far away. "y/n, please baby! breath!" lando. it was lando’s voice. you opened your eyes and saw your boyfriend, shaking you to make you come to your senses, his eyes were glossy and he looked worried, when he saw you open your eyes and look at him he sighed softly and smiled at you. "welcome back, baby." he kissed your forehead before putting your hand on his own heart while he did the same to yours. "breath for me. we’ll do it together, okay?" you nodded slowly and started to follow his breaths. "one. two. three. yeah, you’re doing amazing my love." he smiled again and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "you scared the shit out of me." he whispered, still against your forehead. "i am so sorry, lando, i swear it’s not-" he shushed you and wrapped his arms around you, giving you a long and soothing embrace. you felt silent tears roll down your cheeks.

"don’t say a word, i already know." he says, he grabbed your face in his hands and kissed your tears away. "those pretty eyes can’t be drowning in tears, love." he added. "i trust you y/n. i love and trust you with my life, i know that you’d never do such a thing." he finished by kissing your lips. "then why did you ignore my calls?" you asked. "because i needed to get back home asap to confort you." he smiled and you swore that your heart exploded.

that was the moment where you realised how deeply in love you were with lando. he was so perfect with you, always taking care of you and putting you first. you sometimes wondered if you deserved that kind of love.

"we’re going to watch your favorite tv show, order some food and take a bath later. today is y/n self care day. and don’t think about that rumour, i’m going to take care of that." he kissed the top of your head and helped you get up from the ground.

liked by y/n, carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 1 790 007 others.

landonorris: i’m going to say this once and for all: y/n l/n is the sweetest most loving and respectful person i’ve ever met in my entire existence. she’s the light that keeps shining during my darkest days, she’s the presence i crave after a long day away from her. y/n has been the victim of disgusting rumours and death threats, i’ll be taking action against every single ones of you who even just commented one single bad emoji under her posts, i’ll come for you. you made her cry, i think it’s fair enough that i make you pay back for every single tear that she shed because of people like you.

_

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#f1 au #f1 fandom #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 instagram au #f1 social media au #f1 x oc #f1 x reader #f1 x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris #lando norris x female reader #lando norris x oc #formula 1 #formula one x y/n #formula one #formula one x reader #ln4 #ln4 x reader

[alteredphoenix]

I don’t know if this says something about me as a writer or the way Zereth Mortis’s storyline feels so patchworked and condensed, but every time I work on the ZM Fic and its side story I’m always forgetting about Thrall and Baine - and when I do remember I have to tell myself not to forget about them. That’s where I start to think if - and by how much - the expansion got truncated to such a degree that 9.2 had to trim the fat just to go from ZM to the Sepulcher just like that (and I always thought while it was unique that the campaign questline had you go in there, grab Anduin, go back out to make the Crown of Wills, and go back into the rest of the Sepulcher, I also think it’s such a haphazard way of doing so instead of approaching it a different way a’la without Anduin physically being there because Zovaal’s not going to stop dicking around with the Machine of Origination while you’re putzing around in Bastion on a quest to make a new Arbiter).

At least Thrall has some sort of reason to stay in the Shadowlands i.e. Draka, but also because his actions indirectly led to Sylvanas becoming Warchief who therefore kicks off everything between Legion and SL. Baine, on the other hand, doesn’t get that, or at least chooses not to seek out his father and talk to him despite there being indications that something was going to/supposed to happen between them after the Tauren Heritage Armor questline. OTOH you can argue that Baine being in Torghast mentally fucked him up so bad that him sitting in Oribos can be considered a realistic reaction to being tortured...but you don’t get to see that because that never left SL alpha, so that just tells me that despite it not being present for the player to see it at least happens off-screen. So while Baine’s reaction and lack of involvement can be forgiven this also made him into a meme the community latched onto and hyped up once he actually got up...but since he doesn’t go out of his way to find and talk to Cairne, that significantly reduces the meaning of his presence in the Shadowlands. Then again, he’s also Anduin’s friend and tries to beseech him to look to the Light while in Bastion, so even if he’s not being proactive he at least has a minor role in being The Heart.

Since the ZM Fic takes a different approach toward the Broken Crown quest by removing Anduin from the equation altogether and not being retrieved until the endgame a’la the Sepulcher raid itself, that means I would have to give Baine a very good reason to go to Bastion and help make the Crown of Wills. Hence since he’s The Heart of the party, he would have to maintain a passive role but doing it this way means he’s not exactly languishing in Haven and makes him somewhat more proactive to the plot despite being a relatively minor character. Although it’s the same with Thrall, but he has more at stake going on because (a) Sylvanas dragged him to the Maw in the first place to humiliate him and Baine, and (b) that’s two Warchiefs in a row that have sent the Horde on a death spiral that he’s had to witness once personally and the other being told to his face (by Saurfang) and having Loyalist assassins get the jump on them. That’s not to say Baine doesn’t deserve his own part to play in SL; after all, he was imprisoned by Sylvanas in the Underhold and almost got to watch Thunder Bluff burn, so by technicality he should have done more to earn the spot of being in the Shadowlands...but while you can argue from an out-of-universe perspective as to why he didn’t (and I’m not going to say ‘he wasn’t allowed to’ because that’s being accusatory to the devs and I don’t have information nor evidence to prove that ‘he wasn’t allowed to’ is true), from an in-game POV Torghast screw with him so badly he couldn’t do more than beyond the bare minimum.

Looking at this post, I do see how SL is so cut and strung together, and I do see good parts in it despite it being so flawed (and, IMO, one of the weaker expacs, next to TBC and WoD). I don’t know if it’s because of the ongoing lawsuits that jettisoned whatever plans the devs might’ve had for SL (e.g. the possibility of a Drust raid and a 9.3 patch) or the result of the community reaction online (which I noticed that whenever reactions do happen, they’re loud, loud enough to the point of inducing several Author’s Saving Throws to curb the heat, which...I’m learning I am not very fond of,  at all, having to tailor a story based off backlash and outrage, which also explains why I don’t stick with popular fanon). As I’ve said, I don’t like making conspiracy theories around things that might have/could have happened but never made it live because it didn’t fit the game’s narrative tone or direction. I would prefer to criticize rather than commit to shit-slinging.

But despite the flaws I do see an upside to writing a fic set in an expac that’s heavily maligned, and while it doesn’t retcon from Legion onwards like most Fix-It Fics prefer the ZM Fic still plays somewhat loosely with 9.2′s approach while still maintaining most of its canonicity. So even if Thrall and Baine (and hell, much less Anduin, he’s barely in this fic to begin with) aren’t at Main Character/Important Supporting Character status that Sylvanas and Jaina do in this fic, I can give them small roles that will at least carry them long enough to make it to the end (and into Dragonflight, although I’m not expecting Thrall to do anything of the sort afterwards, and I wouldn’t be too surprised if Baine isn’t involved with the Wrathion and the black dragons the same way Jaina will be for Kalecgos and the blues and Tyrande with the greens; DF is the story for the dragons, after all).

#warcraft #like at least with WoD we know a lot about the cut content that should've been in the main campaign #plus the scenarios that were supposed to have been there #it's hard to say what SL was supposed to have besides the maw prologue having a little more story to it #and everything else i mentioned above #because things like that AFAIK aren't or haven't been documented. #then again denathrius was supposed to die & unfortunately fandom thirst saved him from an early grave #which means community reaction DOES play a role as to which direction the story is going to go #also then again there's everything w/ sylvanas despite the massive outcry following sanctum's ending #and everything w/ calia #so that also means community reaction doesn't ALWAYS dictate the story's direction #it almost feels like a nasty game of tug of war between the players and the devs #it's the main reason why i try not to do discourse anymore & would prefer to stick in my own lane #case in point i've been thinking about this lately as i've been plunking at the ZM fic #it's kind of funny but also frustrating b/c i'm so damn forgetful - and a writer must never forget #but at least i'm catching this early before i start writing the main ZM Fic so i can adjust my table of contents accordingly #this post isn't meant to start shit btw - these are just my observations from playing the ZM campaign questline #baine isn't my favorite character by a longshot - i'm rather ambivalent to him #like i am to most wow characters #but i hope he gets a small role in DF w/ the black dragons so i can tinker around with him #idk about all this talk of 'lore butchering' or 'character assassination' or 'disrespecting the IP' ppl go on about #or even the whole 'blizzard forgets their own lore' thing - all of that means little to nothing to me #but i do think wow needs more polishing - retcons are one thing but plot holes are another beast #also more communication between teams otherwise you're going to get stuff you play that ends up being non-canon e.g. stonetalon mountain #fanfiction #mywriting

[rewrite-canon]

im going crazy with how people are starting to agree with snow that sejanus was really stupid and deserved what was coming to him. reading the books first should be a pre requisite to the movie idcccc if that takes away the wider audience, the wider audience all have smooth brains anyway.

“why was he colluding with rebels when he could’ve just thought about it pragmatically 🙄” i’m in your fucking walls. sejanus was never dumb, snow just kept pushing that perception of him through the book to deflect the fact that sejanus was an actual good person. snow thought himself the personification of good and benevolence, which was why everything he did had to have some half-assed excuse as to why he was justified in doing it. it was why he was actually tweaking in the woods when lucy gray left him, because he wanted to rid himself of her but he didn’t have an actual reason so he convinced himself of the most random scenario ever to justify trying to shoot at her. so we can establish that snow was an evil broke boy who clearly wasn’t good— then sejanus was a direct confrontation of snow’s own shortcomings towards that (i don’t think i have to detail how sejanus was genuine, it was obvious). coriolanus and sejanus are like the direct opposite characters of each other, and snow knew and took pride in this to an extent. which is why snow couldn’t admit that sejanus was good to himself, thus sejanus was deemed ‘stupid’ to protect his own deluded self actualisation (but this also includes other aspects like how the war made the plinths rich and the snows poor, leading to resentment and jealousy from snow).

“but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t doing dumb things throughout the book” was it really that dumb? a rebellion will always include some level of risk but i don’t hear anyone calling heavensbee stupid because it actually worked out for him. plus sejanus is district, so if we use our common sense of who he is as a character and emotional intelligence of his situation, it’s pretty easy to see why he would get in touch with rebels. he’s literally always yearned for the districts, he never once cared about his money or safety, which isn’t stupid, it’s sad. this was his way of dealing with the guilt of profiting from his people’s suffering— again, not stupid. you could argue he was reckless, especially when he went into the arena, but most people who simply cast him as a ‘dumb character’ ignore how troubled he is and fall into the very filtered lens of snow who was just concentrating on his stupidity.

sejanus’ growing radical actions had nothing to do with stupidity and everything to do with feeling helpless and like nothing was changing. he tried minor/low-risk things such as attempting to change the perception of the districts in the capitol, advocating against the hunger games etc etc. of course it didn’t work, so his options grew limited to more radical courses of action. its a natural line of thought— activists literally do it in real life when they feel as if their cause isn’t getting enough attention (eg. setting themselves on fire). sejanus is a desperate character who is so selfless in light of snow’s constant self-preservation. snow will always put himself first and be paranoid that he will be betrayed like he’s betrayed others, so he never understands sejanus’ disposition to help and trust people, so he labels him dumb. omg. like. sejanus is so not-stupid i’m actually gonna start freaking out!! this is defamatory leave my boo alone!! plz go read a book and work on media literacy i am begging!!!

#maybe the stupidity was the friends we made along the way….. #i saw someone say that since the book was in third person then it wasn’t told from snow’s pov so it was reliable 💀💀 #like are we stupid now??? #this was supposed to be a short post but now im ranting and tweaking out #sejanus haters catch these handz leave this boy alone #he is literally the best!!! i hate yall sm 😭😭 #some of yall have the WORST takes about tbosas ever. #dont even get me started on the ‘lucy gray was manipulating and using snow the whole time’ bcuz i will freak out worse #sejanus plinth defender 4EVAAAAA #sejanus plinth #coriolanus snow #snowjanus #lucy gray baird #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #the hunger games #rewriting

[jojissalsa]

The Perfect View

leon always notices the little things about you, especially when you hint at wanting something. and if you want a better view, he’ll give it to you.

Warnings: established relationship, dom!Leon x sub!reader, fem reader/gendered language (girl, pretty girl, you get the gist), choking, breeding kink if you squint, praise, filming during sex, a little bit of condescension, basically Leon being a sweetheart and a smug little shit. So just normal Leon.

WC: 2.6k (proofread as well)

hey y’all!!! this is my first leon fanfic/smut i’ve written/posted soooo i’m a lil nervous but hope you guys will like it!! critique, reposts and requests are always welcome <3 (also minors do not interact, go touch grass.)

Leon always loved the little heart to hearts you two would have, or the late night confessions, even if they got a lil horny. It was like talking to your girl-friends, TMI didn’t exist between you guys. The reason was simple, really. He just loved talking to you, loved hearing every thought that swam in that gorgeous head of yours. Tonight was no different, sitting in bed finishing the brownies you baked because he finally came home after a long mission. And because you’re bored without him. “Hold on, elaborate-” His muffled voice came through as he finally swallowed the bite he took, giving you that look. Like he knew you were about to divulge some info he would never let you get away with. Always loved to tease you about everything, remembering little things you tell him because you just have no shame and can never keep a thing from him, just so he can see the blush on your face as you giggle and get all shy. He can’t help it, it’s too cute. “What do you mean I get the best view? Am I not pretty enough for you?” He watched as you rolled your eyes at his dramatic tone, setting down your brownie folded into a napkin in your lap. “No, that’s not what I’m saying, I’d have to be blind to not think you’re gorgeous~” You say it in that lovey dovey voice that makes him wave his hand in an ‘Aww, you~’ kind of way, making you laugh every time, cause he picked it up from you. Typical Leon. “I’m just saying you have the best angles, there’s a difference. Like, when I’m bent over, I have to crane my neck just to look at you, and plus, I can’t even look at the action. I get lucky if we’re in front of a mirror, but usually I just get the view of the floor or the bed.” You chuckle at his intrigued expression, always so eager to learn how you think.”I dunno, I just think it’s hot, watching you move inside me..” You look down at the brownie in your lap with a sheepish smile, a pink hue on your cheeks accompanying it as you look back up to Leon’s raised eyebrows. “What? Too much?” Raising your own eyebrows, hoping you didn’t say something too down bad. “No, no, I get it. I mean, obviously I’m biased, but I do have the perfect view.” He teased, throwing his hands up nonchalantly which makes you playfully swat his arm before going back to whatever you were talking about before.

As per usual, Leon had a hard time forgetting what you said. Well, it’s not like the information was anything new or groundbreaking. He already knew what you liked, you would always look down while he towered over you, watching with bated breath as he stroked his cock, his other hand spreading you open before sliding him over your slit, gathering slick on his cock before slowly stretching you out. So needy, he’d think to himself as you finally inhale and moan as he bottoms out, tilting your head back in bliss. Again, this was nothing new. So when he had you writhing beneath him, lips parted with each sigh and hum, plump and glossy with saliva, he pulled the final piece of clothing off you and smirked at how you spread your legs instinctively. Such a well behaved girl, he praises you in his head, especially when you listen to him as he asks you to flip over, kicking his jeans off as you arch your back and push your ass up and towards him. Now that makes Leon say it out loud, tugging his boxers down and letting them fall down his ankles and onto the floor before getting on his knees behind you. He always takes a second to admire you, how pretty you look as you gasp when he presses his hard cock against your slick cunt, whimpering as you grind against him. But this time he takes another second to look at the nightstand, praying to god he remembered to keep his phone there. He can never think straight when he’s like this, and you’re always to blame, not that he’s complaining. The moan you let out as he slowly pushed himself inside you nearly made his mind go blank, though, that didn’t stop the soft whimper he lets out from the feeling of your wet walls, keeping his cock so damn warm- Focus, Leon. During the small window of letting you adjust to his size he grabs his phone, your closed eyes and blissed out expression telling him he doesn't have to worry about you noticing him slightly leaning to pick it up or why both of his hands aren't on you. Leon, who’s always the perfectionist, making sure the angle is perfect while fucking into you unbearably slow before going at that unrelenting pace you both love, feeling his strong hand move from your hip to your hair as you start to scream into the pillows. "Aww, don't hide, baby, you sound so pretty like that.. Mhm, there you go, let it all out..” And you do, and he swears it’s the most beautiful thing his ears could be blessed with. "Shit, so fucking tight, always make it so damn hard not to cum." It's his favorite thing to do, tilting your head to the side so he can hear how good he makes you feel. "Loosen up a little, that's it, I'm right here.." He just loves to make you go into that syrupy, fuzzy space in your brain where you have no shame or worries, just him, and him alone. Cause that's really all he wants, for that pretty little head of yours to be empty and happy with thoughts of him.

That's when he finally starts recording, letting out a low chuckle as the sinful sound of your whines and gasps mix with his heavy grunts, skin slapping against skin filling their shared bedroom, making the room feel hot and smell of pure sex, continuing to overpower your senses. Everything about Leon overpowers you, he just makes you weak, and it feels so safe. Like a lovesick puppy, always nuzzling against him to smell his musk when he comes home from a long day at work, or wearing his shirts to get a whiff of that cologne that definitely costs more than 2 years worth of your salary. It smells even better when he’s so fucking deep inside you, the scent of his sweat and cologne mixing with the hot air as your ears take in the sound of his downright dirty moans, and the little whimpers he lets out that get louder when he slows down, the tip of his cock kissing your womb so perfectly.

And while you’re under him, babbling about how deep he’s fucking you, completely cockdrunk in a matter of mere minutes, he can't stop thinking about your reaction to his cute little gesture. How tight you'll clench around him when he finally shows you the incredible view you wanted to see. You weren't wrong when you said he gets the best view- sorry, angle, as you so delicately put it. The way your hips instinctively move to meet his, how the fat of your ass jiggles every time it meets his pelvis. Always such a good girl for taking him so deep, and the best part, of course. Your cute cunt milking him dry, he can see how perfectly your pussy molds around his cock, even if he's the biggest you've ever had (and will have) it's still the best sight in the world. It looks even better when you cum around him, your body shaking as you scream his name loud enough for the whole block to hear, pussy gushing on his cock and practically swallowing him whole with how tight you're milking him, like he might leave if you don't hold him tight in your pussy.

So when he feels you getting close, instead of the usual hand between your legs to rub circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge, he just stops recording and grabs a handful of your hair, pulling it from your roots to make into a makeshift ponytail in his fist as he raises your head and moves his phone in front of your face, the sight of his cock slamming into you over and over again playing like it was on loop. Holy shit, was all you think, and say for that matter as you watched the scene play out in front of you, your wide eyes staring straight at where you two connected, watching as you coated his cock with every stroke of your walls. It didn’t take long for you to feel that familiar burn in your stomach, and it showed in how pathetic you looked, and sounded.

Honestly, the thought of him listening to that little thing could've made you cum on its own. The conscious side of your brain saying “Aww, he cares that much to do this for me? I'm the luckiest girl in the world” but what’s really gonna make you cum is the way he's showing you. "Look at that, doll, watch that sweet pussy suck me in, so fucking greedy you just needed to see it while you feel it, hmm?" His growling and whispering in that smug fucking tone that drives you crazy and makes you so wet it’s almost uncomfortable, just envisioning his stupid, signature, cocky grin widening as you clench tighter around him makes your head spin. His hips are still slamming into your cunt, but instead of that sound of skin slapping skin it's somehow even more erotic. That wet, squelching sound just reminding you of how good everything feels, even as your eyes fixate on Leon's phone you can start to feel him hit that sweet spot deep in your velvety walls and it makes you so goddamn weak that all you can muster to do or say is groan and cry out as your eyes roll back momentarily, before you looked at his phone again. “Hear that? Oh, yeah you do. Got that needy cunt so goddamn wet. I did a good job, huh, babe? Yeah I did..” The way he coos at you makes you whimper his name as you get closer with each thrust, coupled with the fact that he went out of his way to time his thrusts with the video sent you right over the edge, not daring to squeeze your eyes shut the way you usually do before cumming hard, screaming and growling until your throat goes hoarse and dry, not even having the energy to thrash and squirm. Just sit there and take it.

Oh, and Leon noticed how much you loved his little gift, he took in everything about your reaction. The way your eyes went wide, your pupils blown out with lust, and the delicious feeling of you tightening on his dick. He twitched as he watched you groan and practically sob about how good it feels, yet no thank you? He wouldn't have that. "Did you just cum? Feels that good, huh? Can't even babble fucking nonsense in my ear, you like it that much? Thank me." He throws his phone somewhere on the bed, leaning down to whisper closer to your ear, his grip leaving your hair to wrap his bicep around your neck. He’s really pulling out all the stops tonight, hmm? "Thank me, 's all I wanna hear from that dirty mouth. You spout all that nasty shit, the least you could do is thank me." And you do, chanting it like a mantra, like he's God himself saving you. "Thank you, fuck, thank you Leon, thank you, oh god-" your voice is just as broken as your sobs and nearly pathetic whimpering and you're rewarded greatly, his arm tightening around your neck, cutting off your air for a few seconds. "Good girl, so sweet, aren't you? Always so grateful, that's why I treat you like the princess you are. So damn pretty, show me how pretty you are, baby.” He makes sure he can see your face as you cum again, a deep groan from his chest rumbling against your back. “There you go, there's that pretty face I love." A pretty face indeed, that cock-drunk expression as you smile and bite your lip until it bleeds, groaning before the knot in your stomach comes undone again, the gasp and moan coming from your lips pornographic. "Le-Leon I'm cumming, fuck, fuck, cumming-" cutting yourself off as you sob and squirm under him, brows frowned as you pout and whimper while he fucks you through your orgasm.

The sounds that leave you makes it impossible for him not to cum, cooing and shushing you as his arm leaves your neck so you can lay that pretty empty head on the soft pillows, stroking your waist in the most tender way, his thrusts becoming sloppy. "I know baby, shhh, it's okay, you can take it, I'm close.. fuck-" you feel his cock kick inside you, the warm feeling of his cum coating your walls. "Fuck, you take it so good, your pussy was made to take my cum.." His filthy words and heavy panting keeps your brain in that hazy state as he slowly pulls out of you, sliding both hands down your waist and to your ass, thumbs sinking into the meat of your pussy as he spreads you open. You try to catch your breath as his cum makes its way out of you, but the air in your throat is swiftly taken from you as you feel his thick fingers push his cum back inside you. “God, I’ll never get tired of seeing that. Seeing my cum leak out of this pretty pussy. My pretty pussy.” His possessive words never fail to make you blush and smile like a madman, because it makes you too happy. You could die happy knowing you’re his.

You finally come down to reality, finding comfort in his arms as they wrap around your waist and gently lay you on your side, keeping you close to his chest. You get that warm, lovely feeling as you hear his string of praises. "Such a good girl, took me so well.. love my sweet girl so much, you deserve the world, don't you, princess?" His soft kisses on your shoulder make your heart flutter, taking a quick look at his smile over your shoulder. The warm feeling in your heart at his loving embrace doesn't last long when you hear him chuckle softly. "Y'know, you're terrible at asking for things.." you shoot him an annoyed glance, rolling your eyes. "Maybe I wasn't asking for anything." You huffed, tilting your head away from his smug look and crossing your arms. You’re also terrible at lying. "Sure, like you don't do that thing where you're just mentioning something in passing, totally not hinting at wanting it." That one gets you, because no one has really noticed that but him. Maybe you were always being subtle, or maybe people didn't care enough. It could be that Leon just sees every little thing you say or do, because he's just so observant. You like to think it's because he's just sooooo infatuated with you. "Fine. I'll give you that one, if you help me to the bathroom." You could barely hide the smirk creeping on your face, clearly happy at the prospect of him caring that much. "Deal." He says sweetly, kissing your cheek before getting up and walking over to your side of the bed to help you into the shower. Count that deep seeded want crossed off the mental bucket list.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon resident evil #leon re4 #leon kennedy x fem reader #dom!leon kennedy #sub!reader #smut #resident evil smut #leon kennedy smut

[olderthannetfic]

I thought it would be interesting to see if I could easily determine which ships had the most works updated in 2023.

It turned out to be fairly easy, though a little time consuming. I think these results should be reasonably accurate.

Some points to note:

I did this on my own account, and I have like 2 people muted. So I am capturing the effects of archive-locked works, but my numbers might be off by one or two works due to muting.

Works updated in 2023 is a number that constantly changes as works are deleted or updated again in 2024.

I didn't scrape the entire archive or anything like that, so it's possible I missed a ship that would bump one of these down below 100. I'd take the last few at the bottom there with a grain of salt. But I think we can be reasonably sure the top ones are accurate and that the kinds of numbers that we see at the bottom there (eighteen hundred plus works updated in 2023) are about where the cutoff will be even if we find a ship I missed.

--

As for how I did this, I went to the category tags and the rating tags, filtered for updating in 2023, then excluded ships in the sidebar till I got to 130-150 ships excluded. I also grabbed ships that are big in general from tag search, which you can use to find all relationship canonicals, ordered by frequency.

I combined those lists of ships, cleaned off the works numbers, and generated a list without duplicates. That got me three hundred and something (yes, they were mostly duplicates). I generated the relevant AO3 URLs, opened them in batches with Open Multiple URLs, and copied the works totals into a spreadsheet. Not as tidy as using a script but honestly pretty easy if you know a few spreadsheet formulas to clean up data.

The key here is that if you're only going for pretty good and not accurate beyond a shadow of a doubt, all you need to do is generate a list of likely ships, then check them.

It's possible that there's some much-updated ship that is so evenly spread across these various other tags that it just missed showing up in the sidebar. Hopefully, grabbing more than just the top 100 avoided this problem.

This method also doesn't take into account backdated works. If a whole archive was imported in 2023 but all backdated, there could be some ship that didn't have new works but where AO3 users experience in 2023 was of an influx of content.

I also did this just now, in late March/early April, so some 2023 works have inevitably been deleted or updated again. So the exact work counts don't represent the experience of using AO3 throughout 2023. A fandom active in early 2023 might not have much updating in early 2024, while a fandom active in late 2023 would. This could demote the latter a few places in the rankings since I didn't grab numbers on January 1st.

Even if a person scraped AO3 every day or was monkeying around in the databases, you also have to ask what conceptual answer you're after. Is it works a user could have read at some point during 2023, whether they were deleted by the year's end or not? Is it new-to-AO3 works or only newly-created ones, not including imported archives? Does it matter if the works are fic? If they're in English? What about accidental double-uploads or translations of a single work?

I hope this makes it clear why a definitive ranking is not actually possible.

However, despite these drawbacks, I am confident that the rankings above accurately represent the broad trends on AO3 in 2023. Just don't get too fixated on whether a ship should be at number 73 or number 74.

And, of course, I excluded these from the top 100:

Original Character(s)/Original Character(s) - 20,026

Minor or Background Relationship(s) - 16,187

No Romantic Relationship(s) - 8,052

Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s) - 7,195

Original Male Character/Original Male Character - 6,283

Other Relationship Tags to Be Added - 5,618

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s) - 3,990

Original Character(s) & Original Character(s) - 3,210

Here's a spreadsheet if you want to see the actual numbers not as a shitty screencap. I left the next few below 100 for context.