#which i want to emphasize is not my natural response to these things being present. it’s these specific characters in this specific world

[imaginarypasta]

one of the things i’ve noticed that changes between this series and the last is the newfound emphasis on diplomacy & decorum. i do understand why, both in how the narrative changes w the introduction of new ideas and frameworks as well as how it might want to adapt to have its own voice, themes, etc. but gone are the days of yes-anding oneself into strange situations and in are those of yet another scene highlighting the importance of a letter of introduction—and that was personally a huge reason why i liked the original series so much. i don’t even mind like diplomacy as a narrative device when it’s equipped in interesting ways but when it’s constant introductions to new characters that go relatively similarly every time & a very clear narrative voice insisting that original solution wouldn’t work when it’s 1. more interesting to me personally and 2. not even working any better practically, then that starts to get super boring

#personal #even when i was a middle schooler reading these books i was never much a fan of the roman camp but i just didn’t have the skills or words #to put together why. i think a lot of it comes from this. because i certainly enjoy the characters a lot but this aspect just makes them #very boring to read about. i’m invested in the characters’ emotional lives but when it comes to practical stakes i find it draining & dull #which i want to emphasize is not my natural response to these things being present. it’s these specific characters in this specific world #written by this specific author that makes it not really my thing in this instance #bc stuff like political intrigue is probably my favorite type of conflict (besides like deep personal ones) and yet i’m SO picky in how it’s #done and so the stuff i like i really like #but it’s also very hard to come by #that’s not the only reason i struggle with it. i think esp coming into the third book (i’m a little under halfway through) #that it’s a bunch of things: the huge cast that sticks with us the whole time (i do like how they’re constantly broken into smaller quests #like i think that’s well done but it’s just so many characters to deal with for so long) #the rotating perspective. the emphasis on relationships (and how that’s framed w/i the text. shadow & bone s2 did something really similar #to this). etc. but yeah. in good news: the writing is much improved from tlh even for the characters i really didn’t likes’ perspective #chapters. i do think the way the cast is broken up is good and so is the conflicts between them (with some exceptions. insecurity in #relationships is kinda boring to me but so are ships in general so that’s not a surprise). there are still characters i don’t like but they #are much improved by this book (although you can basically figure out which ones i like vs. don’t based on which book they first appeared in #in this series). #so yeah that’s my review so far :p we’ll see if i stick with it because i remember not really enjoying the next two books either when i #first read them. but my tastes have changed a lot (i say. keeping nearly my exact same rankings thus far)

[scarlet--wiccan]

Do you think Billy and Tommy suffer from intergenerational trauma ? Also we never see Billy and Tommy interact with Max. If you could alter their origins what would you do ?

(You don’t have to answer all these questions sorry lol)

When we talk about intergenerational trauma, we are usually referring to trauma which persists in our cultural memories, or to trauma responses which become cyclical patterns in our families. One of the things that's really interesting about this family of characters is that none of them were raised by their birth parents or grew up with a complete knowledge of/relationship to their cultural heritage. This is slightly less true now for Wanda and Pietro, post-retcon, but my point is that the way these people have inherited intergenerational trauma is typically non-linear.

I tend to get in trouble for saying this, but I think that Billy and Tommy's reincarnation makes the most sense as a metaphor for interracial adoption. Specifically, their relationship to Wanda, their Romani heritage, and their family history maps fairly well to that experience. So, while the course of their lives has been impacted by the trauma of past generations in a very material way-- and there is something to be said for epigenetics-- they may not have internalized the Maximoff family's intergenerational trauma in the way that you're picturing. The nature of their existence and upbringing creates its own traumas and fractured identities, but a lot of what they've inherited is going manifest in the course of processing new information about their background as young adults-- not to mention the ramifications of being publicly known as Wanda's children in a post-Decimation world.

I am not an adoptee, so this is not my experience to speak on, and you can take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, but I am a person of mixed Romani heritage, and family separation and cultural disruption in the wake of WWII are big parts of my inherited trauma. That's part of why I find the Maximoffs-- Billy and Tommy included-- so relatable, because that's a specific form of cultural trauma that they have had to endure in every generation, and in ways that reflect multiple periods of Romani history. Part of why I like to really emphasize the fact that Billy and Tommy are Romani characters is because their positionality and way of arriving at Roma identity adds nuance and diversity to Romani representation. I think the spectrum of Romani cultural & ethnic identity is something that a lot of comic writers and fans just don't understand, but I think that digging in to how Billy, Tommy, and Luna relate to those identities would be a really good, organic way to have those conversations in the text and bring a more authentic understanding of the subject to readers. But you absolutely need a Romani writer to do it, and that's why they need to start hiring us!!!!!

I'd also like to point something out that I don't think anybody really talks about-- the current version of Wanda and Pietro's origin story and how they got their powers reflects the real history of human experimentation, reproductive rights violations, and child abductions that have plagued Romani communities for a long time, especially in mid-century Europe. Their "mutations" are a product of that violence, and the fact that Billy and Tommy inherited those mutations reflects the medical and genetic legacies of this racial trauma. This is presented in direct contrast and conversation with the Maximoffs' magical heritage as witches, which is is a racial stereotype that here is subverted as a positive, enduring legacy of cultural empowerment and survival.

Of course, the text itself does not fully commit to these ideas on paper, but my point is that when you have the knowledge and you're invested in how Romani people are imagined and portrayed in this world, it's a very rich text!!! I love comics and I love these characters! There's so much to talk about!

Since you did mention Magneto, I want to note that Wanda and Pietro's relationship to his & Magda's history and their inherited trauma is also non-linear, and has shifted several times based on retcons and varying character treatments. There's no doubt that they have a lot of baggage, but again, it's a situation where they didn't grow up as children of Holocaust survivors, so the way they process it might just be different. I certainly do think that the Holocaust and the war are part of their cultural memory, even if we don't know how much the Maximoffs were directly affected. Billy and Tommy are more removed from Magneto in this sense, but it should go without saying that one or both of them are Jewish and would already have a connection to that history through their foster/birth families.

#billy kaplan #wiccan #tommy shepherd #speed #intergenerational trauma

[mbenvs3000w23]

My Nature Interpretation Journey :)

As I grow as a nature interpreter, my personal philosophy is surrounded around creating a deep respect for the natural world and its intricacies. I believe that this should be extended to all kinds of life, as well as the various cultural viewpoints that influence our knowledge of nature. Conservation plays a crucial role in this philosophy. I see conservation not only as a means to protect and preserve the natural world but also as a way to come together as a collective and show respect for the world that has given us all so much. A large part of conservation is about acknowledging the impact of human actions on the environment and accepting responsibility for maintaining its future health. 

As a nature interpreter, I aim to share these ideas with others, hopefully inspiring them to take action in their own lives to protect and conserve the natural environment that we all enjoy. I believe that by instilling a deep appreciation for nature and encouraging conservation initiatives, we can establish a more sustainable and harmonious relationship between humanity and the environment. A future where we are all educated and passionate about the earth is a great future.

In my Forest biodiversity class, we talk a lot about how a key reason why a lot of conservation practices aren't being done is due to the lack of education in the general public. For example, the media tends to always emphasize the negative effects of forest fires without also mentioning how beneficial they can be for promoting biodiversity and helping build its resilience. Another thing we talked about was Deadwood and how it is the basis for a lot of microhabitats. However, we have been destroying a lot of it due to the “unaesthetic” appearance of it. To me, this just further emphasized the need to ensure that, as an interpreter, I am using my platform to help educate individuals in a way that fosters a passion in them to want to advocate for such things.

As a nature interpreter, I also think that there are a lot of responsibilities that should be upheld in order to properly help others create deep connections to the natural world (Beck et al., 2018). This is because when sharing information with those who may lack it, you hold all the power, in the sense that you are providing them with a lens through which they will view and understand nature going forward (Beck et al., 2018). This responsibility requires a commitment to accuracy, empathy, and inspiration. By presenting information in a clear, persuasive, and friendly manner, interpreters can help promote a deeper awareness and understanding of the natural world, which can evoke a passion for the environment (Beck et al., 2018). This could even result in increased attitudes and behaviours toward conservation.

One key responsibility is to ensure you are respecting your audience's cultural perspectives and beliefs, as well as the culture of the specific area that is being discussed. As different cultures have their own unique relationships with nature, addressing interpretations from various viewpoints can make a big difference in helping others understand and relate to nature.

Another important responsibility is to give people room to form their own understandings of the natural world, regardless of how they may differ from your own. As an interpreter, your role is to guide and facilitate understanding, not to strictly impose your beliefs or interpretations onto others (Beck et al., 2018). A more nuanced and comprehensive understanding of the natural world can be achieved by promoting a conversation that is open and welcoming to all points of view and interpretations.

Over the course of this semester, I have learned that my approach as a nature interpreter is focused not just on memorizing facts and figures; but rather about engaging with the material in a way that has meaning to me as an individual. I've found that methods that include comedy and a less formal setting work really well. Incorporating humour has helped boost my enjoyment and retention of content while also allowing me to connect what I learn to my own life (Beck et al., 2018). The "informal-ness" of this approach allows me to really think about what I’m learning and how I can use real-life situations to deepen my understanding.

In addition to humour and a less strict atmosphere, I also value sharing real-life experiences in the learning process. Real-life experiences can provide valuable insights and perspectives that cannot be gained from textbooks alone. By sharing our experiences, we can learn from one another and gain a deeper understanding of the world around us (Beck et al., 2018). This goes hand-in-hand with another strategy I’ve come to like; encouraging open dialogue with my peers or audience. A discussion-based learning environment encourages active participation and thoughtful contributions from everyone. When this happens, and people talk to one another about a given topic, they share their unique thoughts and opinions, which helps everyone get a better grasp on the subject. This helps to encourage critical thinking. One way that I think discussion-based processes can be especially helpful is in conservation advocacy. Specifically, it can be a powerful way to develop stronger conservation frameworks that incorporate a greater range of perspectives and evidence. 

Overall, a combination of these approaches not only makes learning more enjoyable for me, but also helps to create a welcoming learning environment for others!

References:

Beck, L., Cable, T.T., and Knudson, D.M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For a Better World. Sagamore Publishing.

[juliadelvecchio]

Feb. 20, Tompkins Ch. 9

Julia Del Vecchio– Readerly Exploration #5

Main Idea: There are three main types of text factors: genres, structural elements, literary devices. These are present in stories, nonfiction, and poetry and aid in comprehension.

Nuggets: I love how many book suggestions/examples were mentioned in this chapter. I was really able to connect to the chapter because of those examples, and they brought me back to my childhood. I talk more about specific ones in my reflection.

Readerly Habit and Exploration: Engage in the reading process to increase the likelihood of text comprehension (pre-reading, reading, responding, exploring, applying) After you read, document your initial response to what you’ve read. Consider how the ideas you read about made you feel and what they made you think about.

Thoughts after reading:

When I read the beginning excerpt of Mr. Abrams class I thought about the phases of reading. I think he does a good job of pre-reading by letting his students preview the text and figure out the genre themselves. He could have easily just told his students the genre, but allowing them to figure it out themselves requires more thinking about the text. I also liked that he had questions to guide the students through nonfiction readings because I presume that it would be difficult to pay attention otherwise. He also had the students re-read the texts during other reading times. I love that the children incorporated illustrations in the stories that they were required to write as well! Highlighted terms which seemed important in this lesson:

KWL chart

Learning logs

Shared reading

Revising groups

Rubric

Word wall

These terms came back around towards the end of the chapter when it was explaining how to teach text features. I like that the beginning of the chapter incorporated them in an introductory lesson example first.

Text factors: genres, text structures, and text features

There are so many different ways that stories are categorized! Genre is fascinating. I took notes on this section to help me with my zene project. Rosie’s Walk was mentioned! Grace told me about this book, and I think I might get it for my classroom. I liked how this section laid out stories that illustrate the elements of structure. One of the examples I noticed is The Lion Witch and the Wardrobe which is a story that I love! I also remember reading Tuck Everlasting in middle school! This one highlights the story element, theme. I remember the themes of this story dealing with immortality, growing up, nature and civilization, and love. Under the plot section is the book Hatchet which we also read in middle school. This one definitely emphasizes plot as the whole story is centered around the survival of one person. Lastly, the book The Giver caught my eye. This was my favorite book for a long time and I specifically remember reading it twice. Looking at the plot diagram is reminding me of when we learned about the climax of the story and we started being able to pick that part out when we were reading. The mini lesson on page 305 relates to hatchet, and I love how she creates a sort of graphic organizer to display the themes that her students were proposing. 

Moving to the text factors of Nonfiction section– I felt a bit sad reading this section because the previous one was so fun and I had some questions about the first paragraph. I wonder if the reason why stories are so popular in elementary school is also because they allow students to think more creatively and “outside the box.” The book states “it has been assumed that constructing stories in the mind is a fundamental way of learning” but where did that assumption come from? Is creativity simply not as valued in the older grades because we want students to be realistic about things? 

Cause and effect is part of teaching nonfiction. I am teaching a lesson on this in 4th grade next week. I am beginning to mentally organize where some of the standards fit into specific lessons. For example, I might teach sequence in a nonfiction unit, and then move to comparison and cause and effect because those fit well into nonfiction. I am excited to use some of these nonfiction text examples in my class someday. 

Poetry– It has always been hard for me to get into poetry. I think this is because people have very creative ways of saying things using poetry, and I have a hard time deciphering what they are trying to say/what they mean. My teachers could always pick out a specific meaning from a short line of words, and I did not understand how they knew what it meant. I think I also just lacked depth of vocabulary. The poems I always liked were the ones that rhymed and sounded like a song. I do like that poetry uses more sophisticated words and phrases though. Reading about poetic devices was helpful in understanding how meaning is conveyed through poems. Maybe if I had a more solid foundation in these I would be able to grasp poetry better. 

After reading through the chapter, I saw how everything came together to explain how teaching these text factors support comprehension. When students know what strategy the author is using to convey something, they will understand the text on a deeper level. Reflecting also helped me to understand more about the reading process as described in this textbook. This readerly exploration was about responding, a significant part of the reading process. Because I made so many personal connections to the chapter, I am more likely to remember them as we are talking in class, and I am more likely to be engaged with the material. I have already thought of some ways that I might apply what I have just read about in my future classroom. 

[maw-and-pawp]

BVF World Building

Been having Thoughts on how exactly the faery predator and prey dynamic works, and the specifics of Alma and Robin's species. Endure my nerdy infodump

Trooping Fairies - a classification in folklore, fae who live in groups or are encountered in groups

Solitary Fae - a classification in folklore, fae who live alone or are encountered alone

Windborne/Windborn - a predator faery species whose magic is tied to air, smoke, movement and communication. Like all faery preds, they rely on faery prey to replenish the connection to their magic. Solitary Fae

Alseadryad - a prey faery species, who live in groves and forrests. They generate magic, relying on the strength of their bonds to eachother and the plants under their protection to thrive. Trooping Fairies

Alseadryads are me smashing together the folklore of cluricauns, wood wives/moss maidens, and the nymph types aleids and dryads. The Alsea part is actually a reference to the first time and only time aleids were referenced in classical writing. Homer called them "alsea" in the Illiad, Odyssey, and the Homeric Hymn V To Aphrodite.

As a prey species in a half-sized/size difference setting, I needed to emphasize how small they are in comparison to the people nomming them. So I took that from the cluricauns and the moss maidens. Not nearly as tiny, but yeah. I mentioned earlier that Alseadryads rely on their connection to the plants Under Their Protection to thrive, and not the least of which is that it gives them the ability to reform after being devoured as long as their plant buddies are still kicking (dryad and aleid style). It's in their best interest to defend them in turn, and goddammit they will. Cluricauns defend their unwilling roommates and homes from malicious outsiders, and wood wives will chase you out of the forrest if you harm the saplings they care for, intentionally or not. So if you threaten them or theirs, an alseadryad will End You Personally.

Alma's tendency to poison the mortal preds she entices is considered a mature and righteous response to anyone raised the Fae Wilds. A fairy trap if I ever saw one lmao.

Several factors go into how the culture of willing vore came about. Firstly, a predator would have to go out of their way to fatal vore. Destroy a whole grove or stretch of forest, with not even one tiniest thing left alive. Tedious, and dangerous, because tending to the plant buddies is a communal effort. The whole neighborhood wants you Dead. Maybe the whole town.

So that's not an option. Still, taking a prey against their will, you're going to wake up with a pillow pressed against your face in the middle of the night if you don't take precautions. If you don't get stabbed in the first place.

There were two options presented to the ancient predators. One, hard vore. Two, creating a friendly and symbiotic relationship with their prey, fostering a system of mutual trust.

The majority tried hard vore first, specifically the avian class of windborne, but there were massive losses on both sides as a blood fued brewed.

So. Through natural selection and several peace treaties, the ones that chose the second option became the standard. Keep in mind that the ancient pred and prey conflict would've been going on at the same time as the mortal realms Neolithic Era equivalent. Thousands and thousands of years have passed. It's only in relatively recent times that nonconsensual vore and hard vore have become a major concern again with the rise of a class of Loan Shark Slave Masters. Bloodhounds don't get a choice, and neither do the food slaves. Every free person is kept under the thumb of the Masters through fear tactics, or enlist their services to remove unwanted persons. Bloodhounds are assassins, after all.

Windborne can look very similar to mortal preds at first glance, some classes more than others. Similarly human-looking, sharp teeth and sharp claws. If you've ever seen a pixie from Peter Pan then you understand what a baby one looks like. They hatch from eggs unlike many other sentient species. They all start out palm sized and insectoid, but they can do something truly amazing during a specific phase of their lives.

Between the ages of 0-5, if they lose their wings, they can regrow them. The wings come back based on the environment they're raised in. If they're being raised in a forest, it returns as the same insectoid wings, with some variation with butterflies mixed in. If they're being raised in a cave, bats. The mountains, birds. By water, the wings return as clouds.

The bat class is further separated by their diets. They eat more fruit, and only drink blood. A combination of flying foxes and vampire bats. Yes, this is a vampire fairy I will not apologize for putting vampires in with your fantasy vore. They're hot and interesting and I should say it /j

Considering that their magic touches on communication -sound has to travel through the air- windborns can hear things many miles away, can use their voices to entrance or entice, and several classes can temporarily turn into wind and ride it to where they'd like to go.

In light of the voice thing, I'm going to call the water windborn the siren class. Why the fuck not. Vampires exist, sirens exist, werewolves are gonna find a way to squirm in next I swear.

It's relevant to Robin on this last one - windborne claws are made to tear things apart, not grab. It's why they wear the gloves near constantly. Slices through flesh like butter, and it doesn't help that the avian class practically have talons.

Getting back to the wing thing. Pred parents usually wait until their child is around 3 years old before removing the wings of their kid. They have to be sure that they're not going to move in the interim, because they only get 3 chances at this, and only once can be traumatic. It's usually painless with modern technology, but knowing that someone is going to tear your limb off is probably not the best thing for feeling safe. But it's tradition, and windborne are solitary fae. They won't live with anyone as an adult. They need to be adapted to their environment and be self-sufficient.

Eveelution as fairy predator species

#v0re #beneath veiled faces #bvf worldbuilding #vore writing #fairy prey #fairy pred #lol thanks for listening to my ted talk

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 51

"CEO?"

He called out to Shin Tae-oh as he noticed his unfocused gaze.

"Ah, what did you say?"

Shin Tae-oh lifted his head, and their eyes met. His focus still wasn't sharp. He had a tendency to be unpredictable, but he rarely got so lost in his thoughts like this.

"I'm talking about the venue for today's party. Seongha did the interior design."

He remembered seeing the photos when he was researching about it after receiving the invitation. He wanted to bring up this topic to schedule another meeting with Seongha and also casually mention today's charity party.

"Ah, Seongha."

Shin Tae-oh muttered Seongha's name a few times while Se-hyeon carefully observed his face. Was Tae-oh still...?

Until now, Shin Tae-oh had been consistently ignoring Yoo Jin-ha. But after receiving the surprise gift, he seemed shaken.

It seemed like the feelings of liking Yoo Jin-ha had resurfaced in Shin Tae-oh. If that was the case, the affectionate demeanour he had shown me all this time would probably disappear.

As I pressed the buttons in the elevator, I cautiously placed my hand over my heart, which was pounding in response to the thought that had just crossed my mind. What was this?

"Anyway, it wasn't genuine to begin with."

Shin Tae-oh had shown two instances of showing interested reactions towards me. The first time was when he claimed to have fallen for me due to my hit performance, displaying quite an emotional response. The second time seemed to have no specific reason; his behaviour just seemed slightly different. But I didn't seriously consider it as genuine.

Moreover, I believed that my own wavering feelings were simply a natural occurrence that happened while being around Shin Tae-oh.

Come to think of it, I didn't hand over the gift Yoo Jin-ha gave me to Shin Tae-oh. I placed it aside without showing it to him. I wonder if he opened it and looked inside?

I'm not sure if he bought the same thing, but the gift from Yoo Jin-ha was a fountain pen. Despite mainly using my phone and tablet, I found it enjoyable to write with a fountain pen from time to time. The grip and writing experience were good.

"I should do something in return."

As I pondered on what to do, I noticed something in Shin Tae-oh's reflection in the elevator doors.

Se-hyeon's gaze was fixed on that spot, and Shin Tae-oh noticed it and adjusted his tie.

"Not bad."

It was the gift Se-hyeon had given him at the department store. Shin Tae-oh's expression softened slightly as he ran his hand over the tie. It seemed like he was reminiscing about the memory of buying the tie.

Until just now, he was lost in his own thoughts, appearing absent-minded. But now, he seemed to be back in the present, his emotions fluctuating.

Why are my emotions so turbulent like this?

Se-hyeon simply averted his gaze.

***

"Have a great time."

He bid farewell to Shin Tae-oh at the entrance. The attendant accompanying him stopped here. Unless there was something special, he wouldn't enter the party venue.

"You can come in with me if you want."

"It's alright. I'll wait here."

Se-hyeon replied, choosing to wait outside.

There was a separate waiting room arranged for the attendants. Se-hyeon intended to stay there and only sneak in to observe when the grand party was in full swing.

"I shouldn't get caught up with Ha Jin-seong like I did last time when I said I would get a closer look."

This time, he planned to secretly watch from the sidelines, hiding among the crowd.

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me."

"Sure."

Se-hyeon emphasized once again to Shin Tae-oh that he wouldn't be accompanying him, and Shin Tae-oh turned away, seemingly helpless.

Se-hyeon frowned as he watched until Shin Tae-oh was no longer in sight.

"You don't look well."

Shin Tae-oh's expression as he turned away appeared paler than usual.

"His lips are pale, and his breathing doesn't sound good... Is he feeling unwell?"

Se-hyeon realized belatedly that Shin Tae-oh didn't look good due to the subdued atmosphere compared to usual.

Se-hyeon, who was about to head to the waiting room, paused and looked at the spot where Shin Tae-oh had been. Even though he wasn't there now, it felt like his pheromones lingered in the air...

***

"Why are you alone?"

In response to Ha Jin-seong's question, Shin Tae-oh handed the donation amount he had written down to the staff member who was waiting. That was the format for today's party. They would take the paper placed in the center of the table and write down their donation amount. Then they could give it to any staff member they saw around. They could do it once or multiple times.

"Why are you two together then?"

As Shin Tae-oh tucked the fountain pen into his pocket, he retorted with a hint of annoyance.

"Us?"

Ha Jin-seong smiled as he looked at the person sitting next to him, Ha Min-hyuk.

"We get along well these days."

"It would be awkward if the other younger sibling heard. What was his name? Bear, I think."

[TL note: Coz Jin-woong looks like a bear.]

Ha Jin-woong was not a bear, but Shin Tae-oh interpreted it differently.

"You're so kind, taking care of my brother. So where's the secretary?"

Ha Jin-seong got straight to the point. The fact that Shin Tae-oh was present meant that Se-hyeon was likely nearby, but he couldn't see him.

"Now I'm getting curious."

As Shin Tae-oh spoke, Ha Jin-seong, who was taking out the donation paper, met his gaze.

"Do you really like him?"

At first, Shin Tae-oh thought it was a scheme to bring Se-hyeon along because he happened to be next to him. But as he observed Ha Jin-seong, he got the impression that he was quite serious.

Is he genuinely interested in Se-hyeon himself?

In response to Shin Tae-oh's question, Ha Jin-seong looked at Ha Min-hyuk, who was standing up, and replied.

"I don't know how I ended up next to you, but I like him."

With Ha Jin-seong's answer, Shin Tae-oh's attention towards Se-hyeon went beyond a casual interest, paying attention to every little reaction from him.

"What can you gain from Se-hyeon?"

"What?"

"I can't understand, that's why."

Shin Tae-oh wondered if Se-hyeon was someone Ha Jin-seong could assign such significance to, even though Se-hyeon was more than just a secretary to Shin Tae-oh.

Ha Jin-seong looked at Shin Tae-oh, who wanted to see his true intentions, and chuckled softly.

"People...," Ha Jin-seong began, his words flowing at a pace neither fast nor slow.

In the silence that enveloped the table after Ha Min-hyuk disappeared, only the two of them remaining, Ha Jin-seong continued, "For someone who has seen and understood them, their heartbeats."

Ha Jin-seong's words resonated with Shin Tae-oh, who thought of Se-hyeon. Now that being together with him felt as natural as breathing, Ha Jin-seong found himself wanting to bring Se-hyeon along more and more.

Now that Shin Tae-oh had already melted into Se-hyeon.

As thoughts of Se-hyeon crossed his mind, Ha Jin-seong's heart raced. The blood rushed through his body at an accelerated pace, causing his fingertips to tremble.

Feeling his body heating up, Ha Jin-seong couldn't bear it any longer and yearned to see Se-hyeon.

"In that case, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that person. When they touch my heart, who cares about a different younger brother?"

Ha Jin-seong's laughter seemed contagious as Shin Tae-oh's lips curved up softly.

"That's what I mean," Shin Tae-oh said.

"If you're curious, ask Se-hyeon."

Ha Jin-seong got up from his seat.

"As always, spill it out this time too. You know, we're born to live alone in this world."

Ha Jin-seong lightly patted Shin Tae-oh's shoulder, showing a friend-like reaction for the first time, and soon made his way slowly into the party venue.

"I miss him when I talk about him."

Thirsty for Se-hyeon, Shin Tae-oh grabbed a visible bottle of champagne and started drinking.

***

"At this point, I think I can sneak in for a moment."

Se-hyeon, who had been wandering around the waiting room and various places, turned his steps towards the party venue.

"It's probably... the day that became an irreparable rift between Ha Jin-seong and Ha Min-hyuk."

It was a day when Ha Min-hyuk accidentally discovered that Ha Jin-seong doesn't emit pheromones.

"Ha Min-hyuk must have seen me spraying perfume in the restroom."

Since Ha Min-hyuk discovered his secret, Ha Jin-seong's feelings escalated from mere jealousy and dislike to outright hatred. It was as if he wanted to kill Ha Min-hyuk, erase any evidence, and hide his flaws.

From that moment on, Ha Jin-seong went to great lengths beyond his previous tormenting methods to bring Ha Min-hyuk down. He didn't hesitate to employ dirty tactics that would tarnish the owner's name.

All for the sole purpose of destroying Ha Min-hyuk.

"I'll observe until just before that."

The moment Ha Jin-seong turns serious is off-limits even from this side. However, until then, it might be quite a spectacle to behold.

"They'll probably growl at each other with Yoo Jin-ha caught in between. And our Taenyang is the original opportunist..."

Do you happen to know? Could Tae-oh’s heart have been swayed towards Yoo Jin-ha again because of the gift from last time?

Se-hyeon, who had found Jin-ha, who was undoubtedly separately invited by Ha Min-hyuk, hid his face behind someone else and looked for a suitable place to observe. As he turned his head to find a good vantage point...

"Shin Tae-oh."

The moment Se-hyeon saw Shin Tae-oh, who appeared to be in an unusual state, he didn't hesitate and ran towards him. He had always watched over Shin Tae-oh, observing everything about him beyond his role as a secretary. Therefore, he immediately sensed that something was different this time.

"Boss."

As he approached Shin Tae-oh, he knelt down on one knee. He looked at Shin Tae-oh's face, with sweat-drenched hair, and then glanced at his cheek. As he covertly touched the sweat flowing down his cheek with the back of his hand, he flinched.

"It's hot."

His skin was radiating heat.

Se-hyeon placed his hand on Shin Tae-oh's stooped shoulder. The pheromones emanating from him were as unusual as the simmering heat. The pheromones that were currently emanating from him were still faint, but Se-hyeon didn't know when they might explode.

As soon as Se-hyeon noticed Shin Tae-oh's condition, he looked around his surroundings. After identifying the location of the exit, he called out to Shin Tae-oh.

"Boss, it's me, your secretary."

Shin Tae-oh turned his head at Se-hyeon's low voice. It was just that his face had become slightly flushed, but even that small change felt overwhelming to Se-hyeon, causing his heart to race.

Shin Tae-oh's lips parted, revealing a breath filled with heat, and his wet, red tongue became visible.

"I'm thirsty."

Thirsty... You're saying you're thirsty. Your mouth is wet right now.

Prev / Next

[marianchristi-malaque]

My teaching philosophy is “Every learner is unique and capable of learning new things with the right support and proper teaching.”

My younger brother is highly receptive to what my mother tells him when she lovingly speaks to him, and he does the same because children are naturally more forgiving than adults and are still learning when more patience is required. My experience has shown that youngsters respond best to gentle, fearless teaching and learning. When they find comfort and are not forced to acquire the topics they may find challenging. Instead, kids receive instruction that is very patient, encouraging, and supportive of their understanding which leads to successful learning.

As teaching is my future profession, I have to look unto this matter and uphold that every learner can grasp new learnings and be capable in doing such activities when taught properly and engagingly. I foresee that children do not listen to you when you are talking to them in a very harsh way, so there should be patience and when you teach them you have to be kind but do not let them disrespect you or anybody, inside the classroom, I will set boundaries with my student for them to know that not all the time I will tolerate if they do any bad behavior. However, in terms of the teaching and learning process, I will do my best to share as much knowledge I acquired and embed it in their minds, and if there is a student who cannot grasp the lesson then I have to use another strategy for him to understand, there is always one way or another for the student to engage in new learning.

Teachers should not instill fear in students by being present in the classroom. Let's try to avoid being nasty inside the classroom; since, in my experience, if I dislike the teacher, I also dislike the subject she is teaching. Kindness can bring pupils up, especially when they are feeling down. When I was in junior high school, my class adviser was a new teacher, and I thought that was unfair since it seemed like you just cared about that one student and ignored the others, which is poor teacher behavior. I wouldn't ever do that to my kids in the near future since it would stick in their thoughts and they won't be interested in learning. Every learner is unique and capable of a great deal of learning when they are welcomed and treated with kindness as soon as they enter the classroom, and it is the responsibility of a teacher to treat each student fairly.

As much as I could, I will set a good atmosphere in a class and build a connection with them where they feel happy as soon as they see me because we will never know what they have been through in their households or any baggage they always carry on their back, I will not add more to those problems they have, they say that the teacher is the second mother which is true that I should act not just a teacher but also as an adult to help them find comfort which through this I can form a bond with my students. Because of this, I want my pupils to tackle their challenges with a positive outlook and the knowledge that there is always a way out. I want them to achieve their goals in life despite all of the challenges they encounter. I will assist them emotionally rather than financially, but they can talk or have me listen to their problems at any period when I am free. I don't want to be that awful teacher who makes the students miserable; instead, let's excite and motivate our students while emphasizing the value of education.

[thisdreamplace]

What are your thoughts on embodiment? Also how do you do it?

love it, adore it, appreciate it. lol to me, embodiment is everything. it makes the journey easier and it makes persistance second nature. (persistance = continuing to exist) focusing on embodiment allows you to do that more easily. because now the focus is truly on who you are being, not what you are trying to get.

it’s kind of… the basis for everything. lol bc this world can only reflect who you are being within yourself. and that’s the reason manifestation works in the first place lol

“you are already that which you want to be. and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.” — ng

so anyway you can approach it anyway you like, like anything. but the foundation is essentially that you allow yourself to be who you want to be. so for example, let’s say it’s your desire to have your dream life. (this one is the easiest because you hit everything at once, but you could go desire by desire if you actually wanted to). so the biggest thing is: okay, i am living my dream life now. how do i feel ? what do i think about ? how do i face triggers ? how do i interact with others ? how do i go about my daily life ?

i want to emphasize how this is all about the inner. bc i know sometimes people see stuff like this and they’re like “??? well if i had my dream life i wouldnt be going to school/work everyday” like tru. but that’s where you currently are because at one point you imagined it that to be your truth and now it’s the current fact. so don’t use it as an excuse — just accept it and focus on embodying the ideal anyway.

“let the facts remain. they’ll dissolve. they’ll all dissolve because you’re going to remain faithful and occupy the state.” — ng

the state is embodied by you !

so for an example of this, embodiment is knowing/living in the end. it’s the present tense inner world state of being who you want to be, without needing the outer world to confirm your inner self before you allow yourself permission to feel it’s who you are.

to get this out way, let’s say you are in an undesirable situation.

1) accept it and allow the fact you don’t like it. maybe you even hate it. accept that and feel it.

2) move on from using it as an excuse. sure you wake up everyday and your world isn’t exactly your ideal, but you’re experiencing it now because you experienced it within before (like already mentioned) so just accept responsibility.

3) look at your daily life from the lens of “ah, these days aren’t going to last forever. let me enjoy it while it lasts because [insert affirmation here]” like i talked to someone once who wants to be a model and shared this method with her and she was like, “let me enjoy it while it lasts because as a model i don’t have time to be home as much” or whatever. no, this doesnt take you out of the end. it’s no different than a senior in high school savouring the final year because they know this is it. that doesn’t stop them from graduating. this method is really good for the hard days or if you’re a person who’s in a position that your daily life is more difficult for you to enjoy.

or, just experience each moment while knowing who you really are. knowing each passing moment is simply a passing moment, while carrying within you your fulfilled promise.

so that’s how you get beyond the “but but my 3d sucks” mindset. making peace with it will make everything much easier. you don’t have to like it, but you’re currently living with it so do yourself a favor and let that reality fade by no longer breathing life into it.

some key things to embodiment are -> how do i respond to triggers and how do i interact with people. everyone loves to say just ignore the 3d or whatever, but to me that never made sense (because i am made to live it everyday)/added resistance. so anyway, get clear on how you deal with these types of things and you’ll find yourself doing really well. after i started embodying the person i want to be in those type of situations, i started experiencing more effortless shifts than ever. no “ignoring the 3d” required.

for example, the version of you living their dream life doesn’t lose it over getting triggered. why ? bc all is already well in their world. instead, the breathe and allow themselves to feel it and let it pass. because the trigger doesn’t make their life suddenly disappear lol and you’re embodying the person who is already living the way you wish. so to me, this is an important one to ask yourself for sure.

and that’s really all there is to it. to me, this is the true self concept work. but ofc everyone has their own way. this is how you take manifesting to the next level though, where it becomes a lifestyle. you really start to experience wonderful things you didnt even intend for when you begin embodying your ideal version of yourself. because for that person everything is always working out, life is for you. and as a result, you get to experience that effortless loveliness without. but it all begins within <3

this was so long omg. but i hope it helps and makes it clear on what exactly you do ? i kind of tried to include things i experienced along the way and how to deal with them. it really all begins with answering those kinds of questions, then making an effort to embody the answers everyday. it’s a daily practice. also this article dives into this topic more too. 🌤💙

#i am #basics

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 3

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village

Rating: T for language, implied cannibalism (because Vampires)

Warnings: Aforementioned implied cannibalism

Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering… could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique “soul mark”, which they share with their soulmate.

Notes: Features a cameo of sorts for my OC, Avaskian Caldwell. Not beta read.

Previous Chapters: 1: In The Shadow Of Giants, 2: Uncertain Destinations

3: Eat Your Heart

“Well,” Bela says, only moderately sounding hostile, “I do believe that marks the end of our tour. Unless you would like to see the dungeons? Perhaps get a proper look at where you might end up, hmm?” Resisting the urge to roll your eyes is more difficult than you would have preferred. Somehow you manage, though, and reply in a relatively relaxed tone.

“I think I’ll have to pass. After all, I wouldn’t want to be late for dinner, now would I?” You incline your head towards a nearby clock to emphasize your point. For a split second Bela seems surprised, as if she hadn’t been keeping track of time at all. But the look vanishes as quickly as it came about, soon replaced with a calculating gaze, and she gives a short nod. “Is it safe to assume that you eat together, as a family?” Another nod, this time accompanied by a small look of confusion. “Mmm, sounds wonderful. It’s been far too long since I’ve shared a nice family meal.”

That certainly wasn’t what Bela had expected you to say.

“Oh? I do hope that you can stomach the sight of blood, then. Otherwise it might not feel so nice,” she replies, after a slight pause. Her earlier confidence had returned, further bolstered by the resulting giggles from her sisters. They were a chaotic bunch. Regardless, Bela soon takes your wrist in her hand, pulling you towards the dining room, grip only tight enough to be slightly uncomfortable. Both of her siblings followed closely behind, occasionally whispering unintelligible jokes to one another. One in particular leaves Daniela pausing in the hallway, hunched over laughing, with an unnerving edge of something else you couldn’t quite place. A backwards glance in her direction leads you to make eye contact with Cassandra, who gives you a knowing smirk. Deciding that you didn’t want to know what she had said, you turned back towards Bela, and stayed facing that way until you reached the dining hall.

Inside, Alcina was already sitting at the head of the table, in a chair that would have seemed a throne to anyone else. On either side of her are two more seats, far less ornate than her own. For a moment the sisters and you hesitate in the entranceway. Evidently they weren’t accustomed to this particular arrangement, unsure where to sit. It’s not until Bela clears her throat that Alcina speaks up.

“On my left, dear,” she says, eying her eldest daughter, before turning to you. “You may sit to my right. I trust that you’ll find this agreeable?” Well, you weren’t exactly about to argue with her, so yes, you found it agreeable. Even if it meant sitting across from the more ‘direct’ member of your opposition. Though perhaps ‘judge’ and/or ‘jury’ was a better word for the Dimitrescu daughters. Regardless, you were going to have to sit with them, and in the end it hardly mattered who was where. As such, you semi-awkwardly made your way to your seat, hoping that you’d eventually feel less out of place. Soon enough Cassandra takes the spot next to you, giving you a concerning smirk as she does. What did she have planned? Before you can even contemplate her intentions, her mother is talking again, drawing both of your attention towards herself. “Splendid. I’m glad to see that you’re already finding your place here.”

It’s not hard, you think, when you’re directing my every step. Despite your biting internal commentary, you do not speak out loud, merely giving a polite smile and nod. Across from you, Bela gives her mother an affectionate expression before fixing you with a subtle disapproving look. Taking some small comfort in the fact that she wasn’t being openly hostile, you forced yourself to keep smiling, meeting her gaze with as much confidence as you can muster. Within moments both of you have your attention drawn elsewhere, thankfully, as servants begin carrying in various food platters. Most of the dishes appeared to be perfectly normal. But looks could be deceiving, and you knew that at least a handful had to contain less “traditional” ingredients. They remembered to cook something normal for me, right?

Soon enough your fears are somewhat alleviated, as one of the servants places an already filled plate in front of you. Admittedly you don’t recognize xer, despite xer oddly silver hair, or the red bandana xe wore. Something told you that xe wasn’t just another maiden, however, especially with the way xe brazenly made eye contact with each of the Dimitrescus. Before you could inquire about xer, you’re distracted by the arrival of Juniper, who instantly smiles when she sees you. In her arms she carries the last two side dishes and several empty plates, which the unknown servant gently takes from her. Together the two of them set the final items into place. Wordlessly, the grey-haired person removes a notebook from xer back pocket, handing it to Juniper with the barest sliver of a smile. Clearly having done this more than once, she accepts it readily, opening it to a bookmarked page.

“My Ladies, and our dearest, most esteemed guest, I present to you another fine selection of traditional Romanian dishes, for your sincere enjoyment. Today we will be drinking one of our more popular styles of wine, known as Febris Amatoria, meaning ‘fever of love’ in Latin,” she reads, only somewhat shakily. Next to her, the stranger inclines xer head to your employers, then does the same to you. At this point you have to assume that xe doesn’t speak, and that Juniper was serving as a translator of sorts. “Due to the unexpected nature of our guest, the dishes are not clearly marked in regards to their ingredients. You have my- as in Mx Caldwell- assurance that this will be handled by the next standard mealtime, where the shared dishes will be color coded. In the meantime, I- again, Mx Caldwell- will remain here, in order to prevent any… unintentional ingestion of human remains.” Gulping, Juniper returns the notebook to the stranger (Caldwell, apparently), then exits the room alongside the other servants.

“Isn’t Febris Amatoria also another name for a type of anemia?” Bela asks, slowly swirling the contents of her glass as she does. Caldwell, who had moved to stand several feet behind Alcina, gives a nod in response, and appears mildly amused.

“A clever allusion to our family’s nature, isn’t it? I know Daniela has certainly drained a number of ‘lovers’ over the years, perhaps causing a case or two,” Cassandra teases, much to her younger sister’s irritation. Personally you were surprised that she was willing to admit such a thing in front of her mother. Unless you were reading too much into the word ‘lovers’, due to the rumors you had heard regarding Lady Daniela. Nonetheless, the Lady in question is aggravated enough to sit up, looking ready to lunge across the table at Cassandra. As soon as Daniela moves (with frightening speed), her sister easily catches her wrist, using her other hand to wave a finger back and forth. “Ah, ah, ah, Dani, we have a guest. Do try to behave yourself.”

“Oh, because you’re the epitome of table manners? I’m amazed you haven’t already managed to spill wine all over your dress,” Daniela counters, before ripping her arm away from Cassandra. They both huff, but are quick to quiet down when their mother sends them a look. “Dinner looks delectable, as usual, Ava,” Daniela continues, after clearing her throat, accentuating the end of her sentence with a gesture of her wine glass. Then she takes a long drink from it, perhaps thinking that a little intoxication might make the evening easier to get through. Deciding that maybe she had the right idea, you take a sip from your own glass, relishing the subtle hint of lavender.

In the minutes that follow, things slide into easy comfort. Caldwell once more moves closer to the table, helping pass along side-dishes from person to person, quietly pointing out which ones you could safely consume, occasionally chuckling in response to the jokes that the daughters shared. A strange warmth built itself up within the center of your chest, heart yearning for age-old memories of your own family. Three months had passed since the last time you felt this way. Really, it felt so much like family that you didn’t catch the way Cassandra’s lips twitched into a smirk, or the way she met Bela’s gaze, or the way she pushed a dish just a tad further towards you than necessary. All it had taken was a single second of your gaze turned elsewhere… then you were reaching for the castle’s special variety of forbidden fruit.

“Ayye, nyet, nyet!” Caldwell snaps, voice oddly strained, hand wrapping around your wrist in an instant. All eyes are on you now, though Alcina’s soon flicker over to the servant. “Cass. Bad girl,” xe continues, going so far as to shake xer finger disapprovingly. Understandably, you’re rather shocked to see a butler be so bold with someone so dangerous. Even more shocking is the way that Cassandra backs down without a hint of a fight, refusing to meet her mother’s steely gaze, not even pretending that she hadn’t attempted to trick you. Satisfied with this outcome, Caldwell wordlessly fades back into the background.

Although you had almost committed an unwilling act of cannibalism, you managed to slowly relax again, content to listen in on (but not participate in) the conversations around you. ‘Twas somewhat awkward, admittedly, to be the odd one out in a family so close. Yet a part of you had gained a new sense of hope by meeting Caldwell. After all, if a human such as xerself could become so close as to chastise Cassandra of all people, why couldn’t you?

---------------------------

“Once again, I would like to… apologize, on behalf of my daughters,” Alcina says, rather softly, still keeping a gentle hand on your back to guide you along. “I must admit, I do not wish to dwell on what might have happened if not for Avaskian.”

“Believe it or not, I think I actually understand where they’re coming from. Though, of course, I am also grateful for Caldwell’s intervention. But really… your family has been together for several decades now, right? Any addition is guaranteed to stir things up,” you respond with a shrug. “Besides, I’m more than aware that I don’t exactly stand at the same level as your other romantic interest.” Suddenly both of you are halting in the middle of the hallway, unable to meet each other’s gaze, regret rumbling like butterflies in your stomach. You hadn’t intended to bring up your soulmate’s somewhat obvious affections for Mother Miranda.

“Hmm. So you are… aware of that,” Alcina murmurs, finally turning her head to look down at you. There’s no small amount of pain in her eyes, though you can tell she’s holding as much of it in as possible. “I would prefer it if we did not speak of this. I do hope you have no qualms with that.” For once, there is no hint of force or commanding edge to her tone. For once, she is letting you act as an equal, the first step towards actually accepting your role as her soulmate. It’s enough to make the corners of your lips turn up, if only for a moment.

“Alcina… I understand. I merely want to say that it won’t affect how I feel, or how I act. Love is a blessing, even when it ends in pain. I… have loved before. People whom I will never see again, people who never felt the same way, and maybe people who I really only thought that I loved. I’m trying to think of those experiences as lessons. Situations that taught me something about myself, or about what love is, that I can keep in mind and use going forward. Just as I promised to your daughters, I will try to love you. I will give you an honest chance, regardless of our past circumstances. Because we’re soulmates. Because this is the world offering us a shot at something amazing, and I’m not about to give that up,” you explain, placing one of your hands in Alcina’s. For a moment there’s silence, but you see both surprise and happiness in her expression. Still, there’s a hint of tension remaining in the air, so you do your best to dispel it. “Also your daughters threatened to kill me if I didn’t, and I’d hate to perish before lasting a full year here. I heard a rumor that one of the senior staff members makes cards to celebrate.”

Next thing you know, you’re hearing a beautiful sound, a light, genuine laugh from Alcina, who all at once releases the tension in her shoulders.

“Yes, I do believe Ava, or Caldwell as you said, still makes those. Always with strange little drawings of felines…” She trails off, voice fading into another chuckle, before at last resuming her walk, never letting go of your hand. “As much as I have enjoyed our chat, I do believe it is about time that I retire for the night. We will see each other once more in the morning. For now, I bid you goodnight. Sleep well, my dear.” With that, the two of you arrive at the entrance to the servants’ quarters, and you find just enough courage to bring her hand to your lips, for a brief kiss.

“Goodnight, Lady Alcina. May your dreams be as sweet as your company.”

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil: village #re8 village #j has ocs #avaskian caldwell

[delimeful]

taking the fall (4)

warnings: pain, injury, mentions of captivity

-

Roman woke to throbbing pain in his leg and an uncannily soft surface below him.

He resisted the urge to groan theatrically as he was unwillingly dragged back to consciousness, and then resisted the urge to groan harder as he recalled just what had happened before he passed out.

He’d been seen. After all his careful planning, his little one-in-a-lifetime excursion had still landed him in the hands of a human. He wasn’t fool enough to believe that Logan had left him alone just because he’d fallen out of sight for a moment and then passed out like a wimp who couldn’t even handle a little bone-breaking.

Humans often lived in blissful ignorance, but not ‘lack of object permanence’ levels of it. Logan had definitely seen him fall, and odds were that he was now in the human’s clutches. Which was bad.

Tiny furniture hobbies aside, the guy was a textbook nerd, which was only barely a step down from an actual scientist. Roman wouldn’t be surprised at all if he woke up in one of those clear glass vials that scientists were always using on TV. Would that be better or worse than a jar? Probably worse, but if he could tip it over…

He dragged his thoughts away from the hypotheticals, well aware that he was stalling. Whatever he was laying on now, it certainly wasn’t glass.

Hesitantly, he peeked one eye open a tiny bit.

A pillow. It looked absolutely bizarre from this angle, his body just barely heavy enough to sink in and cause a few wrinkles in the fabric, but it was still recognizable as one of the huge fluffy pillows that normally rested on the human’s bed.

He turned his head a little further, and found that the pillow was on the desk that he’d previously taken a dive off of. The miniature set was still present to one side, surprisingly enough. Perhaps less time than he thought had passed, if it hadn’t been sent off to wherever Logan had promised to take it yesterday?

Or perhaps Logan had decided to forgo that responsibility in favor of his exciting new discovery. Roman shuddered.

“Hello? Are you awake?”

The voice nearly made Roman jump out of his skin, and he couldn’t help but freeze guiltily, totally giving away his awakeness. He craned his head up and saw that Logan was sitting on the desk chair, pushed back a few feet from the desk, a tiny dresser in one hand and a paintbrush in the other.

That was… considerably less menacing than he’d been expecting. “What are you doing?”

Logan blinked at him, nonplussed. “Wood detailing?”

Roman squinted at him suspiciously, trying to figure out what nefarious plans one could enact with the details of a tiny dresser. Perhaps it was supposed to be a part of some sick enclosure that the human was designing for him? He had wanted Roman to talk about the chair, of all things, so maybe he needed a tiny victim to test out his furniture.

That wasn’t exactly torture, but he still needed to escape. His presence here risked every other borrower in the building and out of it. Growing more somber, he testingly shifted his leg, trying to figure just how effective the human-applied splint actually was.

… Ouch.

“Is it sufficient?” Logan asked, unknowingly echoing his thoughts as he leaned over slightly to peer down at him. Roman pulled on his fiercest scowl, and was gratified to see the human retreat slightly. “I have pain medicine, but I was uncertain about the proper dosage, so I decided to wait until you woke up to see what you wanted to do.”

“Oh, I just bet you want me to take pain medicine,” Roman shot back sharply, ignoring the fairly nonsensical nature of what he’d just said. Like he was helping a human figure out the best ways to drug a borrower!

“... I do?” Logan replied, sounding downright confused by his hostility. “Normally, I would encourage anyone with injuries as significant as yours to seek out professional medical attention, but after witnessing your fear of me, I assumed that you would prefer to not be exposed to more humans.”

“I wasn’t afraid!” Roman snapped indignantly, and then paused as the rest of that spiel caught up with him. He was unspeakably glad that the human hadn’t been dumb enough to waltz into a human sickbay with him, but-- “I would prefer to not be exposed to you, either, BFG!”

“BFG?”

“Big Frustrating Giant!”

Logan looked dubious, but carefully averted his gaze. It wasn’t what Roman had meant, but those huge eyes being off of him were admittedly a relief. He shuffled his body to the side slightly, trying to ignore the sharp pains from jostling his leg.

“I will remind you, you are the one who came into my apartment, not the other way around,” Logan said, frowning slightly but keeping his eyes locked on the furniture in his hand. “Why were you there?”

“I’m afraid it’s none of your business,” Roman sniffed haughtily, ignoring the way his heart had sped up in his chest at the idea of making the human angry.

“Apologies, I don’t mean my apartment. I’ve already discerned that you likely find sustenance and other helpful items in human living spaces, going by the ease with which you traverse large terrain and the repurposed human items that make up your belongings,” Logan clarified, casual as anything. “I was asking why you were in my stage miniature. There is no food in it, and you must know that I would notice if anything went missing.”

Roman stared at him, feeling the blood drain from his face at the offhand way that the human had correctly guessed a lot about how borrowerkind survived, all from Roman’s unconscious presence.

It was beans like this that the rules had been designed for, so of course he would be the one to catch Roman. He set his jaw, resolving not to say anything else that might give anything away to this wannabe Sherlock.

-

Logan glanced up from the layer of drying varnish that he’d been staring at for the past thirty seconds, wondering if maybe the tiny person had fallen back into unconsciousness.

But no, despite their silence they were still awake and glaring at him, brow furrowed and arms crossed firmly. He tilted his head curiously, trying to indicate that he was listening, but it seemed they didn’t plan to answer at all.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” he said, hurriedly looking back to the miniature he was fiddling with in an effort to not stress the tiny person out any further. “I simply wanted to see if there was anything you needed that I could provide you, since I’m partially responsible for your injury.”

“Partially?” they echoed, incredulous.

Logan nodded. “I startled you, and your attempt to flee led to injury. I should have known better than to move so quickly, particularly with the disparity in our sizes.”

“That was a strategic retreat,” they emphasized, “and you never would have caught me if you’d moved slowly. I’ll have you know I’m no slouch.”

Caught them…?

“My intention wasn’t to grab you,” he said. “I was reaching for one of the chairs to try and compare the scale. If it was incorrect, it would have been obvious when put side by side with you.”

“Yes, yes, I already guessed that you have nefarious furniture-related plots for your poor captive, you don’t have to explain it.” They were rolling their eyes when Logan glanced at them, and seemed to be an inch or two away from where he’d originally placed them on the pillow.

It felt to Logan as though they were talking cross-ways, even more so than his usual pop culture reference confusion(and didn’t it just figure that a tiny person that lived in the walls was more familiar with human colloquialisms than him?) during conversation. Perhaps it was due to their less than fortuitous first meeting?

“It seems like there might be some misconceptions here,” he tried. “I’m not keeping you captive.”

The stranger lifted a skeptical eyebrow, spreading their arms to gesture at the surrounding area. “Aren’t you, though?”

Logan followed the gesture, eyebrows drawn in. As far as he knew, a pillow on top of his desk hadn’t turned into an impenetrable prison within the last few moments. “No. I’m not.”

“So if I were to, say, walk out right now, you’d just be all peachy-keen with it?” they asked, almost condescending in their doubt. “You wouldn’t try to stop me from leaving?”

Logan paused, a firm denial on the tip of his tongue. “Are there others like you nearby?”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, going by the way their tiny hands went white-knuckled for a moment.

“No,” they answered mulishly, “I’m the only one of my kind. And I’ll have you know, if there were others-- which there’s not-- I would never sell out my hypothetical fellows for my own freedom!”

“That’s…,” Logan sighed, deciding not to mention how incredibly dubious he was of the likelihood that there was only one of a species. “That’s not what I meant. You clearly pursue an active lifestyle, I just wanted to ensure that there would be someone to support you and help you recover from your injuries. You won’t be able to even walk on that limb for a fair bit of time without permanently damaging it.”

Logan thought for a moment that he’d gotten through to them, witnessing the way trepidation lingered in their expression when they looked down at their leg, but then they shook their head firmly.

“That’s just an excuse! I know that you’re planning on keeping me, humans always do. I’d rather deal with a permanent limp than be a pet in one of your little dollhouses,” they spat, vitriol in every word. “So either let me go or admit your foul plans!”

The words were sharp, designed to incite, but Logan was used to scanning for the tiniest of flaws in his work, and he could spot the subtle signs of fear that his tiny visitor was just barely concealing. Clenched fists to hide shaking hands, the curl to their shoulders that suggested they wanted to curl up defensively, even their expression wobbled slightly when Logan spent a moment too long looking at them.

He took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension in his own frame and put them a little more at ease. An impossible task, considering they expected him to-- to know that they were a talking, feeling person and try to ‘keep them’ anyhow, but it helped clear his head.

“What will it take?” he asked, keeping his voice even.

“Um, what?” they asked, thrown off.

“To get you to stay here, just until you heal. I’m asking this of you, so it’s only reasonable that you ask for something in exchange,” Logan said. “If we can’t come to an agreement, I’ll leave you to your own devices, but there has to be something you want badly enough to remain here for a few weeks.”

“And what, you’ll just give it to me and let me leave after I’m all healed up?” they asked, continuing their trend of acting like a future in which he acted with normal human decency was an impossibility.

“Yes,” Logan answered, as earnest as he could manage. “That’s part of the arrangement. I would also like to know your name and pronouns, though that is secondary to being allowed to treat you.”

“What if I said you weren’t allowed to grab me? Or touch me at all?” they asked.

“That would be acceptable,” Logan replied without hesitation, mentally trying to figure out how non contact would alter a treatment plan.

“And you… you aren’t allowed to take notes on me! Or pictures!” they continued, watching him intently. He kept his expression agreeable, only nodding. “And you have to give me food, you can’t withhold it or make it part of another deal.”

“Medical treatment for someone on bedrest also includes things like meals and mental enrichment,” Logan replied, concealing the displeasure he felt at the idea that someone else would have tried that in his position. He really did hope these were all hypotheticals.

“And… and…,” they cast about, looking for something else to add to their ‘ridiculous’ demands, “I also want a sword!”

Logan paused, admittedly caught off guard. “A functional one?”

“Yeah-- yes, that's right! I want a sword perfectly sized to me, entirely functional, or the deal is off!” they replied, smug as though they thought they’d finally found something he’d refuse.

Unfortunately for him, Logan wasn’t the type to be deterred by a challenge. “I’ll have to go through some prototypes, but it can’t be too different from some metal decor I’ve worked on in the past.”

“Sorry, what now?” they asked.

Logan was already reaching for a post-it to jot down ideas for the base source of metal-- A nail? Or perhaps a piece of old silverware?-- eyes bright with anticipation. “I’m saying that you have a deal. You’ll stay here, and I’ll make you a sword.”

Caught up in schematics as he was, he completely missed his guest’s exasperated groan.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides g/t #ts roman #ts logan #ttf #taking the fall #my writing #writing #borrowers #g/t #am i missing tags? #bthb #bad things happen bingo

[rev-pirate]

An Analysis of c!Technoblade

I’ve been stewing on the contents of this post (essay lets be real) for literal months now and I need to get it out of my brain so here we go-- (traditional disclaimer that this is all about the characters unless specified otherwise)

For those unaware, the enneagram is a personality type system that (as I understand it) emphasizes growth, stress, and responses to trauma and conflict. It highlights basic fears and desires and how these things impact decision making, personality, and action as well as how mental health plays a key role in all of it. It’s a very versatile system and as such it’s become one of my favorite tools for both analyzing and writing characters with more Depth. There are nine base personality types in the enneagram and it gets more complicated from there but rather than explain it all at once I’ll do it while I go as it becomes relevant. The way I see it, Technoblade is an Eight. Wilbur is also an eight, as confirmed by cc!Wilbur himself who actually got his inspiration for his character from the song Eight by Sleeping at Last (one of my favorite bands of all time and favorite songs. when I tell you I freaked out when I heard Will talking about the enneagram and SAL and confirming what I thought about c!Wilbur’s enneagram type oh my lord--). Which is why I say that the enneagram is so versatile. Because Technoblade and Wilbur are both eights in vastly different ways. While this post is largely about Technoblade, I will also be discussing Wilbur’s character as a talking point comparison from time to time to illustrate what I mean. I hope this makes at least a little bit of sense. And since this is going to get long... catch you under the break

An 8′s most basic desire is to be in control of themselves and their situation. They fear the idea of people having power over them. They are motivated to be self-reliant, to prove their strength, and to be important. This can manifest in different ways. A desire for power over others, or the abolishment of power structures entirely. Wilbur craves power because he doesn’t want others to have power over him. He doesn’t like being told No. He has to Stick It To The Man. He has to be in control. He has to be in charge. He craves the challenge of it all. Technoblade wants no one to have power over him or over anyone else. His dislike of people having power over him manifested into his anarchistic beliefs of freedom and equality, of the abolishment of power structures and also in his physical prowess. He became physically powerful to find security in the hopes that it would limit challenges to his autonomy because he’s incredibly vulnerable on the social axis.

Interestingly, Eights tend to have a very physically commanding presence naturally in the way they hold themselves. It’s in the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they present themselves, etc., and this presence intimidates people and also makes people naturally look to them for leadership in group settings. This is true of both Techno and Wilbur but is antithetical to Techno’s desires while in support of Wilbur’s. Techno wishes to abolish power structures but is blind to the fact that his presence alone creates one even if he doesn't want it to and I find that very interesting. Ie. when building the syndicate room, Technobalde made sure there were two chairs on all sides of the table. Phil later broke one chair and made a head of the table implying someone would be in charge in meetings and that presumably that would be Techno. Technoblade then broke that chair and put two back down again to even it out once more.

Moving on, 8s also have a protective instinct. They will fiercely protect people they see as friends and family. They desire to stand up for and protect those who seem more vulnerable than themselves because they see themselves in them. This also plays a part in Techno’s anarchism, his desire to protect people from the power structures that hurt him and hurt countless others. It’s seen in Technoblade jumping (more than once) into a crowd of enemies to defend a single, vulnerable friend. In taking in and caring for countless innocent creatures. In looking at Ranboo and telling Phil he couldn’t trust someone who reminded him so much of himself despite defending Ranboo at doomsday, giving him a place to stay, and ultimately standing between Ranboo and the Eggpire and taking any threat against Ranboo as a threat against himself. In not caring that people present at the red banquet had been his enemies, all he cared was that there were people falling victim to a corrupt power structure who were trapped and poised for execution in need of someone to step in and save them. Because, in the end, friend or foe, everyone deserves freedom. This can go too far, however, as some 8’s may find themselves developing savior complexes and butting in where they aren’t needed or wanted.

On a related note, 8s are very emotionally vulnerable people. They use a tough facade and often deflect to cover up their vulnerability in order to protect themselves because they are easily hurt. They learned at a young age to keep others at a distance because letting someone in could ruin them and probably already has. An eight is afraid to love or be loved because love is another structure of power. loving someone gives them power over you and gives them the ability to break you from the inside out. In a way in which your physical strength doesn't matter. So Technoblade shuts people out because he doesn’t want to get walked over, used, ignored, betrayed, and hurt anymore. And for so long he couldn’t even bring himself to trust Ranboo, no matter how much he liked him and liked having him around. The emotional armor is up in full force and he’s not letting it back down again after Tommy. Not easily at least. Likewise, eights often feel misunderstood as a product of their emotional distance. They easily succumb to feelings of rejection and hurt then struggle to talk about it because that requires revealing their vulnerabilities. So it all just piles up into an instinct to reject first before you can be rejected. It’s a mess. And it takes a lot of work both internally for an 8 and with the effort from the other party for an 8 to eventually lower their walls. To put down the sword. To let someone in. But Hoo Boy once someone has been let in? That protective instinct is something to behold.

This leads us to the stress factor of the enneagram. An 8 under stress moves towards the 5′s paranoia and secrecy. Wilbur became more and more paranoid as the stress of the situation in exile mounted and he caved under the weight of his deteriorating mental health. Accusing Tubbo of being a liar, seeing Techno’s actions as a confirmation that everyone is against him, etc etc. This manifests in Techno as well. He’s incredibly jumpy and hyper-aware of his surroundings and constantly runs threat assessments. He hid his true strength for weeks when he joined the server, wearing a set of iron and eventually diamond despite the speed at which he’d acquired a full set of netherite armor hidden away in his ender chest. He hoards items and gear like a doomsday prepper waiting for the shoe to drop even when there are no threats or conflict in sight. He just has to be ready at all times for conflict to happen because he can't allow himself to be caught off guard and underprepared. The armor never comes off. And the one time he took his armor off willingly in front of someone as a sign of trust they attacked him immediately to take advantage of it. He doesn’t trust anyone but Phil, the one person he let in that stayed. And even then.. the armor stays. He has secret bunkers inside his secret bunkers. and still more untold secret bunkers and stashes. He’s too paranoid to show all his cards. On the growth spectrum, eights tend towards the kindness, caring, and open-heartedness of the 2 when moving away from stress. We see this when Techno is most vulnerable. When he’s comfortable enough to let the armor slip. Most notably around Phil and animals. And slowly, the other members of the Syndicate as well. He cares. He’s kind. You see it in the softer moments with the people he cares for. In making sure Ranboo is okay after doomsday and after being attacked by Bad at the egg. In telling Tommy it's okay to not be okay and that healing takes time when he started panicking at the sight of the final control room and offering to listen if Tommy needed to talk. In making sure Niki feels included, heard, and encouraged. In feeding foxes golden apples. In defending Michael from a Ghast. In sacrificing it all so Carl could live. In stopping and looking back to make sure Ranboo hadn’t fallen behind in the nether and silently placing blocks to make difficult jumps much easier to make. and on and on and on. 

Everything combined results in a person who desires to be strongly independent.

Wings

A lot of the ways in which Techno and Wilbur differ can be explained by the next layer of the enneagram: wings. One aspect of the enneagram theory is that everyone has a dominant type and then an adjacent type that they lean towards referred to as a wing. The wings of the 8 are 7 and 9. Wilbur is 7 leaning while Techno is 9 leaning. 

8w7s are more overtly aggressive than the 8w9 while 8w9s are on the more subdued side of the 8 type. Technoblade, for all his reputation for violence, must usually be pushed to conflict while 8w7s are more likely to incite conflict for the challenge and the thrill/fun of it. 8w9s tend to be avoidant of conflict they are unsure about. The 9′s conflict avoidance influences the 8 in ways that make them pick their battles. Technoblade never enters a conflict he is not confident he can win unless his Protective instinct and/or his Values overwrite his Self Preservation instinct.

8w7 types are largely extroverted, 8w9s are largely introverted. 8w7s tend to have more immediate and explosive anger, while 8w9s tend to smolder and Smolder until they reach a tipping point where Enough is Enough and they boil over. The 9′s ability to see and understand all sides makes an 8w9 more considerate of other people, their viewpoints, and their individuality. This is something Technoblade values Very Highly despite being imperfect about it. So 8w9′s feel less of a drive to assert themselves and their power over the people around them while 8w7′s do the opposite.

The 8w9 is also skilled at switching between the Aggressive 8 and the Passive 9 depending on the environment and the situation. Unfortunately, because of the 9′s tendency to, at unhealthy levels, dissociate their empathy and feelings to become indifferent combined with the vengeful aggression unhealthy 8s can experience when crossed, an unhealthy 8w9 can become very destructive and indifferent to the pain that they cause with their destruction. And only as they tend towards growth and healing do they begin to potentially understand that pain and express regret for those actions. 

Tritype

If we go even deeper with the enneagram, another huge tenet is that it’s divided into three parts, each with a different intelligence center. The three centers being the mind, the heart/emotions, and the body/instinct. Each person, theoretically, has a tritype which reflects which Number from each of these sections is most dominant in their personality.

The numbers of the enneagram are broken up like so: 8 9 & 1 represent the body, 2 3 & 4 the heart, and 5 6 & 7 the mind. Each person has one type amongst each part. And the order of the numbers determines the dominance of that type in the personality. It gets a lot trickier to pin down a character with a tritype. I think things can be argued in different ways depending on your perception of Techno’s character and the order of the second and third numbers is difficult to conclude and a lot could boil down to conjecture. Additionally, you start to depend more on archetypes than actual character moments and there’s also the potential for cc!techno’s personality to start bleeding into the analysis. But we’ll look at some of the options anyway. Because I like digging deeper to explore a character’s depths but I’ll try not to go too deep down the rabbit hole.

The first number of Techno’s tritype is, of course, 8 which represents the body and instinct because his main fear and desires encompass a desire for autonomy and control over his own person. So the question becomes what type’s strategies influence his heart and mind.

Let’s start with the Head types. 5′s can be intelligent, isolated, perceptive, secretive, emotionally detached, and knowledge-hungry. 6′s can be loyal, charming, anxious, suspicious, responsible/cautious, and stressed. Whilst 7′s can be adventurous/thrill-seeking, excitable, spontaneous, and versatile busybodies who stay on the move to escape confronting their problems. In my opinion, we can eliminate the 7 pretty quickly. This brings us to the 5 and the 6. 

As I discussed earlier, 8′s move towards 5 in stress so the traits of a 5 already bleed into their actions. So you have to extract from his character the things that are just him being a stressed 8 and which is his other intelligence center. But it’s inarguable that they remain intertwined. So it could really go both ways. I personally think evidence leans more towards the 6. (Fun fact cc!Wilbur has called cc!Philza a 6.)  I say 6 because Techno’s always planning for the worst-case scenario, always assumes the worst could happen in a situation. He’s always suspicious of motives. He tries to maintain a level of caution at all times. He’s very loyal to his friends and family. Some of this is Techno’s trauma speaking and the stress factors of the 5 but I think some of it has always been baked into his personality. (EDIT: I think I dismissed the 7 more quickly than I should have. especially following the prison arc. I started to consider how Technoblade’s general positivity and energy, ability to ground people in crisis and remain relatively calm himself despite all of the anxiety he experiences both before and in the moment, and his apparent fondness for travel and new experiences are seven tendencies. But the 8 and the 7 together in a tritype make for someone Much more assertive than Technoblade is and more extroverted than he’d ever be. 87_ tritypes get anxious when alone and inactive and Technoblade is Chillin when he’s by himself with his animals. So my original assessment i think still stands.)

As for heart types, we have the 2 which is caring, generous, possessive, people-pleasing, and service-oriented; the 3 which is achievement-driven, charismatic, image-conscious, adaptive, and driven to be of value, but often attention-seeking; then the 4 which is creative, withdrawn, dramatic, moody and emotionally honest, dissatisfied with the ordinary thus forever striving to be unique. Once again, as mentioned earlier, 8′s move towards 2 when in growth so he already shares many traits with the 2 in times of growth. I think we can eliminate the 4 for Techno, though. Which leaves us with the 2 and 3. 

If we look at the base desires and fears of the 2 and the 3 I think that the 3 informs techno more so than the 2. The 3 fears being worthless and thus do what they can to feel valuable and worthwhile knowing, which is why being Used would hurt Techno so much. He does everything he can to contribute, to aid where needed and requested or before the need ever even arises, to grind countless hours to supply the revolution with items and gear, to help out his friends and allies as much as he can in battle. To provide and provide and provide Only to be cast aside. Ignored. Made Worthless. A weapon never truly valued, only temporarily used. Additionally, 3′s are success-oriented. Technoblade is very much motivated to Win. This is a bleed-over from cc!Technoblade, as he is competitive and known for Winning. The fanbase expects and pressures cc!Technoblade to Win and therefore, c!Techno must win. He fears losing. He fears dying. He fears losing his reputation and his carefully fostered image as an untouchable and undefeated warrior. He must be The Best. Which also feeds into things already discussed such as his need to be over-prepared, his desire to know if he can win a fight before he chooses to engage in it, etc. 

I found it interesting then that the combination of the 863/836 tritype is labeled with the archetype “The Justice Fighter.” Challenging unfair and unjust authority is in their blood. At their happiest when they can channel their protective energy into a cause. It’s easy for them to be so blinded by their cause that they get in the way of it. Technoblade’s use of extremism and violent force giving anarchism a bad rap, pushing people away from the ideal he was trying to spread. With time he realized the fault of those actions and modified his modus operandi until it leads to the creation of the syndicate as an example. 

A lot of what I’ve already said about Technoblade could go here to exemplify why exactly he’s an 863 but I’m not going to bother going back over those points in order to recontextualize them and prove it. This is already really long and I’m just glad I finally got all of this out of my brain. I just hope it made some sense. If you made it this far I both thank and congratulate you. I appreciate you for reading <3 

And, while you’re here, Do yourself a favor and give Eight by Sleeping at Last a listen :D

#Technoblade #character analysis #dsmp #dream smp #mcyt #meta

[kenkamishiro]

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

#Choujin X #Translations #fyi i also went into the holding hands TL #tl;dr i don't think it's bad and suits it well #but that's just my opinion

[viridianllamasinthesilentspace]

More on Hermione’s Secondary

Q: I was surprised to see Hermione as a Ravenclaw Secondary, got to be honest. I always think of her as a Slytherin Secondary. She has a particular brand of ruthlessness (DA SNEAK etc.) and an ambition to be the best. I also think of examples like going out with Cormac to get revenge on Ron/make him jealous? I don't know, just my thoughts. :) 

A:

Kaden: Two things here: first, we should probably take a second to emphasize the difference between a Primary and a Secondary. Because the ambition bit would fall under “motivations”, which is part of the Primary. And even then, Slytherins aren’t the only ones with ambition! Ravenclaw Primaries have ambitions toward knowledge, Gryffindors have ambitions toward doing the right thing (in a way that can make them great activists), and even Hufflepuff Primaries can have ambitions toward fairness (or whatever else they’re invested in—nursing, caring, building, managing a billion dollar company…). All of the Houses can have goals and drives and ambitions. Slytherin’s ambition is notable, not so much in force, as in focus: ambition for the sake of ambition, climbing for the sake of climbing, power for its own sake, with happiness and success as a fundamental goal.

And I don’t think Hermione wants to be the best just to be the best. She wants to be the best because she’s proving something, and she wants to succeed academically. Not that Slytherin Primaries can’t share those goals, because they can, but my point is that those goals are in no way inherently Slytherin.

Second, you can be sneaky and ruthless without being a Slytherin Secondary. You can be a Slytherin Secondary without being sneaky and ruthless, too! The defining point of the Slytherin Secondary is adaptability, which, yes, makes them, as a House, better than average at being sneaky, but there are ways to be sneaky that aren’t based in that type of flexibility.

Both times, when Hermione organized the DA, and when she went out with Cormac to make Ron jealous, those were planned types of sneakiness and ruthlessness. Calculated. She plotted and prepared instead of twisting meanings and manipulating. Very Ravenclaw Secondary.

Inky: Yes, Hermione is fascinatingly close to Slytherin. That ruthlessness is something Gryffindor and Slytherin share best—though they’re as likely to conflict over that as to bond over it. And her drive and ambition outshines nearly every character in the books. She’s whip-sharp and morally complicated, and I love it.

If you’re using “Secondary” to mean “second-most likely House”, I agree entirely! While Hermione is a shining example of a Gryffindor Primary willing to do anything for what she thinks is right, whether it’s SPEW or defying Umbridge or saving the world, Hermione could just as easily be a Slytherin who has decided the entire world is her responsibility. She is driven, loyal, makes hard calls and lives with them. The question is: Is she saving the world because it’s the right thing to do or because it’s hers?

(I err towards assuming her Gryffindor nature, because that’s how the narrative presents her, but wow, would I love to read about a Slytherin Hermione Granger who chose Gryffindor House in order to best achieve her goals.)

But the way we’ve been using “Secondary” on this blog means something a little different. Your Primary House informs why you do things—moralities, priorities, loyalties, drive. Your Secondary is how you do things—methods, means, tools, skills. By that definition of “Secondary”, what I think you’re arguing here is actually that Hermione is a Slytherin Primary.

Ruthlessness (do the ends justify the means?), ambition, her reaction to Marietta’s betrayal, her jealousy over Ron—these are Hermione’s ‘drive’. This is what she chases after and how she defines her goals. This is her deciding what to feel guilty over and what to feel justified about.

The way she achieves those goals (her Secondary), I think, really is Ravenclaw. She studies. She researches and prepares and packs a library to bring on their road trip. When she is thrown into a whole new world at eleven, the first thing she does is read every book she can get her hands on. A Ravenclaw Secondary is not defined by intelligence (though she’s certainly intelligent), but by their valuing of knowledge as the most useful tool to solve problems.

She has some aspects of a Gryffindor Secondary’s forward, honest bravery (though I think that’s just her Primary leaking over loudly), but I’d say Hermione displays very little of Hufflepuff’s harmonizing Secondary with its emphasis on fair play, and I’d say she shows hardly any of a Slytherin Secondary’s reactive adaptability. A Slytherin Secondary (in the way that we use the term) goes with the flow, or shifts the flow to suit them. In uncertain situations, they look for power sources, for escape routes, for leverage and potential, and they maneuver and mold their presentation to achieve whatever it is they’re after, whether that’s safety or an empire.

So, I’m still rather invested in Hermione as a Ravenclaw Secondary, but you have greatly piqued my interest in the idea of a Slytherin Primary living in her ambitious bones. Thank you!

#shc repost #not my sorting

[linkspooky]

idk if ur taking asks abt jjk but i was curious on ur thoughts abt gojo i haven’t rlly heard this around but i’ve been thinking abt the fact that gojo desire to basically indoctrinate children to fit his ideal sorcerer society is a bit strange and i saw this on your meta on how the schools only see these kids as tools but doesn’t gojo do the same idk my thoughts are everywhere and i get that gojo was raised in this system so it’s normalised in his eyes but idk gojo’s ideology is lowkey fucked imo and i was curious what u thought

I think Gojo is a product of the same society that raises up kids to be used as tools, and he unintentionally passes that lesson onto his students.Gojo knows that the system is wrong for using kids that way, but he’s such a fundamental part of the system, he doesn’t really know how to overcome it works inside of it instead.  I think what he said to Megumi is pretty telling of how he treats these kids in general, he tells him you better get strong or else you’ll get left behind.” He thinks he’s teaching them what’s best, because that’s how Gojo understands the world works, but at the same time he’s telling a five year old kid if he fails to protect his sister it’s all his fault. 

Gojo teaches his students to “get stronger, get stronger” as a response for all of their problems. He takes responsibility for their development as sorcerers, but nothing else really, and especially not their well-being as individuals. Gojo basically treats his students like mini-adults, friends he can pal around with, and that makes sense if you think about it, he’s raising them all to be political allies.  He’s not really trying to raise a bunch of healthy adults. I think Gojo genuinely does care for these kids and stick out his neck to protect them, and his goal is entirely an altruistic one to prevent the childhoods of other children from getting destroyed like his did. However, Gojo is fatally a selfish person just like Geto is fatally selfless, he doesn’t offer help out of the goodness of his heart, he barters. He always expects something in return from these children.

So, on one level I believe Gojo yes is intentionally using these children. He only extends help when he gets something in return from them, his helps is always conditional on the fact that he’ll gain another ally. However, at the same time I think the problem more lies in the fact that Gojo doesn’t see individual people as individuals, and therefore doesn’t want to pay attention to the indivdual emotions of his students that he ends up using his students this way. He thinks it’s fine. This is how he was used  growing up, but this time, Gojo is using them for good ends instead of a bad one. 

I think Gojo’s inability to take care of their needs as individuals, especially attending to their emotional needs is why Tokyo Students are so strong indivudally, but weak as a group. Gojo’s only interesting in fostering their strength as sorcerers, not their emotional health, or their interpersonal relationships, because he doesn’t view those things as necessary. I mean he’s only had one best friend his whole life, and look at him, he’s fine. 

To give evidence to my argument though, here’s a comparison between the Tokyo Kids and the Kyoto Kids. 

1. Tokyo vs Kyoto

Gojo can be a fantastic teacher when he wants to be, but it requires him paying attention to a student’s individual needs, which he almost never does. When he designs a lesson plan raound Yuji, he does two things that make him better than most Jujutsu Sorcerers already. First, most traditional teachers teach that cursed technique is everything, and would have rejected Yuji outright. Whereas Gojo sees Yuji’s strength as a brawler. He’s willing to go outside the box, and buck tradition to focus on a student’s individual strength and emphasize those rather than telling Yuji he’ll never be a strong sorcerer without strong techniques. The second is he comes up with a method extremely suited to Yuji’s learning style. 

However, I think it’s important to note that Yuji and Gojo are actually really similiar. He’s a really receptive student who hangs off of Gojo’s every word. For Gojo it’s like him teaching a younger version of himself, someone who believes that strength is everything, and wants to become the strongeste to be a pillar of support to others. You don’t really get good teacher points for spending the most time with someone who’s easy to teach.

And even  with Yuji whose really really receptive to Gojo’s highly individual focused learning style, there are several things that Gojo just neglects to teach or even mention. Basic, fundamental things, that every sorcerer should know. 

Nanami has to go out of his way to give Yuji the 101, because Gojo neglected to tell him all the basics. Children are smart of course, especially adolescents who are capable of thinking for themselves, but they also generally know what they’ve been taught up to this point. Yuji is a complete newcomer to the sorcerery world, it makes sense he’d basically be a blank slate having to learn all of this from scratch, but Gojo himself either doesn’t know this, or doesn’t bother with it because it’s too troublesome. He thinks of the kids as miniature adults so, it would make sense that he just assumes they know everything he knows already.

That’s the entire point of introducing Nanami into the story. Gojo teaches Yuji to be a better sorcerer, but not to be an adult, and it’s because he doesn’t really see him as a child to begin with. Gojo thinks becoming a strong sorcerer is the way to teach these kids to be good adults, but he neglects the emotional half of having to teach because Gojo doesn’t deal with emotions well. I mean, even in his training of Yuji, he designs a training method where Gojo doesn’t actually have to be there, and present with him most of the time. He can lock him in a room, and go run off to do Gojo things while Yuji teaches himself. As opposed to a mentor like Nanami who constantly watches and monitors his development. 

This is where we start to get to the comparison with the Kyoto students. Because even in the creaive way Gojo taught Yuji, there were some things that Yuji just learned wrong, and internalized wrong from Gojo’s lesson.

Gojo explained the theory behind Yuji’s divergent fist, but Yuji learned it wrong, because he didn’t understand the way cursed energy flowed through the body. If Gojo was paying attention, he would have caught it and corrected it, but Gojo’s teaching style is sink or swim, let students learn or fall entirely on their own. Whereas, when Todo actually sees Yuji’s flawed divertgent fist, he’s able to point out the problem.

Todo actually acknowledges that there’s a difference between beginners and elite sorcerers, that their’s a learning curve to these things, and rather than leaving Yuji to learn it on his own he guides him through these things. While at the same time, expecting Yuji to figure out some things naturally. Todo never once goes easy on Yuji, I’d say his standards for people are as harsh as Gojo’s. You either learn it or you don’t. You’re either strong or you’re not. However, there’s a distinct difference between Todo and Gojo’s teaching styles, and it’s that Todo is emotionally intelligent, and Gojo is not.

Todo pays attention to people, he notices when they’re off, when they’re going through something, and rather than just ignore it, he almost immediately addresses it and tries to talk them thorugh it. It’s not perfect of course, but having his emotions paid attention to, helps Yuji develop as a person moreso than a sorcerer. 

The Kyoto students have a teacher who pays attention to their individual needs. A teacher who actually teaches. While we may not know much about Utahime as a character yet, you can see the direct impact she has on her students compared to Gojo.

Gojo’s students are individually strong, but weak as a team,. Utahime’s students are much weaker individually, but can come together.

It shows both in the Kyoto Battle Event, but also the Shibuya arc. The Kyoto kids are all unstable it’s true, they’re all prone to lashing out, but because they’ve dealt with such dark emotions rather than repressing them they’re also way more capable of talking about their feelings to others.

Yes, the Kyoto kids don’t deserve to lash out at whoever they want. Yes, lashing out is a bad way to attempt communication. However, it’s also true that the Tokyo kids respond with what basically amounts to self-righteousness. The Kyoto kids are lashing out because they are going through something, because they’re suffering, yet the Tokyo kids don’t really try to understand those feelings. 

Kamo was seperated from his mother at a young age. Maki left Mai behind in an abusive household. Nobara has never experienced the same abuse that Mai has so she’s not really in a position to judge which twin she thinks is the good twin, and which is the bad one. Mechamaru is chronically ill and in constant agony, and then instead of getting him medical help he’s just being used as a toy soldier. 

So.  The problem is. Gojo’s style of teaching. He wants these kids to be political allies. He wants them to try to make a better world than the one he experienced growing up. However, Gojo doesn’t really teach them to think for themselves. He doesn’t teach them to look at the situation, and the way the Jujutsu World is designed to manipulate and use these children.

Individual responsibiltiy is a good lesson to teach. Individual responssibility can help someone get over themselves and their issues and work towards self improvement, but it’s also, not the only solution. It’s also, impossible to overcome these circumstances all on their own. 

Mai can’t be strong like Maki. She’s not weak for folding under the pressure of being in an abusive household. You could even argue that Maki isn’t stronger than her abuse, because emotionally she’s weak, she can’t even maintain a relationship with her own sister she has to cut herself off from everyone. 

Kamo has to follow the clan’s orders, he’s terrified they’ll hurt his mother and he’ll never see her again. She’s actively being used as a tool to manipulate them. 

Mechamaru is already strong as a sorcerer, that’s not going to stop the fact that he’s chronically ill. 

Basically, in this regard Gojo’s students repeat what Gojo himself always says. “Have you tried getting stronger?” We can see why this approach doesn’t work with Kokichi, because he did do what Gojo would always reccomend. He didn’t want to burden others with his emotions so he tried to be strong and solve everything on his own, and that resulted in his death.

Think if Mechamaru had been supported. If he thought it was okay to confide his problems with others, if it was okay for him to be weak, and ask for help when he didn’t know what to do on his own.

However, when he tried to do that with panda he just got slapped with a “Your behavior is wrong.” It’s why even when telling people, especially children their behavior is wrong you also need to be sure to take care of their emotional needs as well. Especially teenagers, because teenagers are literally all emotions, they’re not minitature, fully-developed adults. Kokichi was wrong to lash out, but his emotions were right. He has every right to be in pain. When he’s told off, he also takes that as a message that he’s weak for trying to confide anything in others, that him complaining about his victimhood made him weak in the first place, so what does Kokichi do. He retreates into himself, he quiets down about his problems, he tries to solve everything on his own and he fails at doing that because you can’t. You cannot solve all your problems by simply being stronger than them. 

Gojo’s students aren’t raised as emotionally healthy individuals, and because of that they also can’t really relate to the emotions of other people, especially the negative one. They are, strong willed individuals yes, strong sorcerers, yes, but they’re not really a team. 

I think that’s illustrated in how they all fall apart in Shibuya. All of Gojo’s students basically make the same mistake, they don’t listen to the adults, they charge into battle because “I’m strong enough.” 

Nobara, the adults literally all told you not to fight. Nobara: Nah it’s fine I’m strong.

Look at how Nobara loses. The second she starts fighting with Yuji as a team, she makes a sloppy mistake because she 1) underestimated her opponent and 2) was never taught how to fight in a team. 

It’s not just Nobara though it’s every single one of them.

Yuji runs off on his own, fights on his own, and loses to Choso.  Megumi suicide attacks to take down one (1) opponent whose just a regular curse user when he reaches his limit. 

This is what they are all taught. They all have to fight on their own, be strong on their own, and if they’re strong enough they’ll win, if they’re not strong enough oh well. The Tokyo Kids genuinely like each other as a team but they’re always running away from each other. They all overestimate themselves and what they’re capable of handling and get in over their heads. 

And it does go back to the Kyoto Battle arc, because the Tokyo kids are just as emotionally disturbed as the Kyoto kids, they just are repressed about it. Take Megumi for example, Megumi has been abandoned and neglected all of his life, and Gojo never really offered him any support or healing for that abandonment.

There’s no canon indication that Gojo ever raised Megumi or did anything with him other than provide for housing, and protect him from the Zenin clan on the condition that Megumi STILL BECOME A SORCERER, JUST ONE POLITICALLY ALLIGNED FOR HIM AND NOT THE ZENIN. 

He didn’t offer Megumi a chance at a normal life, or even help him grow up as an individual because Gojo’s not interested in these things. Gojo’s help is conditional on the fact that Megumi work hard to pay him back, and reach his full potential as a sorcerer. As a result, Megumi is walking around with completely unaddressed abandonment issues as a result of never having a stable adult in his life, and this goes, completely unnoticed, which leads to him constantly risking his own life, endangering and harming himself. Megumi’s just as unstable  as the Kyoto kids, he’s going to do something dangerous someday soon. It’s just Megumi’s been taught from a young age, he has to be the responsible one in his household, and he has to take responsibility for everything on his own by working to become stronger, and look like where that has led him.

Hmm, I wonder why Megumi always feels like it’s his responsibility to sacrifice, what could have possibly led him ot that conclusion? Why does he feel so responsible for the actions of other people around him? It’s a geuine mystery.

However, the Kyoto kids are capable of doing something the Tokyo kids can’t do. They can cry and be weak in front of other people. They can support each other as a group. Not only did they help Miwa at her lowest point, but Yuji would have given up, had Todo not shown up when he did. 

Yuji actually wasn’t capable of handling it all on his own. He couldn’t defeat Mahito just by being stronger than him, or having a strong will. 

Individualism like Gojo teaches is important, but it’s also incomplete. It’s only half the solution. The Tokyo kids need the camraderie of the Kyoto kids, the same way the Kyoto kids need to learn to take responsibility for themselves.

That’s why the Shibuya arc ends the way it does. The Tokyo kids failing as individuals, and the Kyoto kids coming together as team. However, since both sides only have half the answer, neither side is able to defeat Kamo Sr. totally.

However, Gojo’s mistakes are shown even more clearly after the arc resolves. Gojo doesn’t actually teach people to think for themselves, because he’s raising them up to follow his politics. Now, look at what his students are doing in his absence. Gojo wants to fix the broken world, but Yuji’s conclusion he comes too after suffering is that he doesn’t want to think about fixing the world. He just wants to become another cog in the machine.

What was the greatest mistake the previous generation made?

Geto. Not only in exposing him to the trauma of Riko dying in front of him. But also, offering him no support a year afterwards.  Yaga completely neglecting him and failing to see what was going wrong. Then, when Geto finally did break, sending another student to kill him.

Yaga really can’t understand why this eighteen year old would hestiate to kill this other eighteen year old, that’s been his best and only friend for three years.  Why is this child not comfortable with an execution mission? It baffles the mind.

Gojo, by failing to raise his students as emotionally healthy individuals repeats the same mistake.

Yuta and Yuji both don’t really care about the world around them, or politics. They don’t pay attention to those things, they weren’t raised to do that. However, now because of that, because both are willing to become cogs in the machine they’re both letting themselves beused right now. 

They refused to think for themselves, so now the elders are manipulating them into a conflict against each other. Yuta because he doesn’t see the situation at large, he only wants to protect his friends. Yuji, because the only way he thinks he has value is by killing curses, he’s just going to keep blindly executing them until Yuta comes to kill him. Gojo’s students are divided specially because of that reason. They’re not together as a group, they’re just a group of particularly strong individuals, and Gojo never even thought that these strong individuals with no particular connection to each other might turn against each other. They might lie to each other. They might keep secrets from each other. They might fail to communicate. Because, Gojo doesn’t really pay attention to complex relaitonships like that. He’s only had his one friend his whole life. 

Even though that’s also exactly what happened to his one and only friend, his emotional needs were neglected by the system around him until he completely fell apart. Geto and Gojo’s problem wasn’t that they weren’t “the strongest” when they were together. It’s that they were never “together” again after a certain point. 

#Anonymous #gojo satoru #suguru geto #okkotsu yuta #itadori yuji #metasks #jjk meta

[somebody-909]

Stalkyoo After the Formal (pt.1) - Role Reversal and Yeong-Gi's Denial of His Feelings

The black and white formal acts as a turning point in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship, establishing their friendship and giving them moments of romantic tension.

It all leads to the emotional finale on the hospital balcony, where Yeong-gi first feels genuine romantic feelings for Shin-Ae.

This analysis looks at key moments that show how Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship changes after the formal arc — displaying emerging romantic feelings, and why their roles seemed to have reversed: it is now Yeong-gi who is hesitant to get any closer to Shin-ae, and she is the one eager to connect with him.

Ep. 75 | Elevator - Why the awkwardness and melancholy?

When Yeong-gi first sees Shin-ae after the balcony he seems quite... polite and distanced. He doesn’t act like the Yeong-gi of the past at all. He doesn't joke around with her like he used to... He doesn't smile or act friendly and he awkwardly turns away after looking at her.

He only smiles in the first panel, and his expression is… complicated. Note his soft smile, slightly closed eyes and slightly furrowed brows.

It's a soft, fond but slightly melancholic look.

This mixed expression is caused by genuine fondness for the person it’s for, with the additional tension and slight melancholy/sadness caused by the fact that this fondness is unspoken. This Look™, is the first expression he gives her after the balcony.

(But if I’m speaking more subjectively, this is the look people give those they love, but where it is unspoken. The melancholy associated with the expression makes it less likely to be purely platonic in nature — platonic friendships don’t often have this sense of something hidden and unspoken, and more often have relatively straightforward reciprocal affection. The romantic nature is also emphasized since The Look™ is being given to someone Yeong-gi has known for only a few weeks/months.)

At the least, this unspoken fondness may explain why Yeong-gi seems so awkward afterward:

He senses a difference in their feelings towards each other (he feels this because he is somewhat aware of the true nature of his, but Shin-ae is not/would not be at this stage)

He does not appreciate the nature of these feelings and does not want to entertain them (for reasons mentioned in my balcony analysis)

Shin-Ae also notices his odd demeanour and tells him she thought he'd be more excited - Yeong-gi's behaviour is purposefully shown to be different now. It's hard to imagine this is the same guy who'd joke around, easily and outwardly showing his joy to be around Shin-ae.

In Ep. 78, Yeong-gi is called by Shin-ae after she’s forced late when Dieter passes out. He has The Look™ while speaking to her. (Notably, Yeong-gi only has this look when they are not directly looking at each other). When Yeong-gi picks her up, he seems awkward once again… especially due to seeming like a third wheel in Shin-ae and Dieter's budding relationship.

He has The Look™ in images 1, 2, and 4. And in image 3, he seems very awkward being with Shin-Ae and Dieter. (I'd argue his expression also shows displeasure — he slightly, and under-the-surface, doesn't like what's happening).

Ep. 85 | A Bear and Allergies - Compassion, but only at a distance

After Shin-ae’s sister invades her home and Shin-ae calls over the bois, she is obviously quite unnerved and uneasy. Yeong-gi immediately recognizes this and in aims of comforting her, tells Dieter to give her a hug (which he is unable to do without freaking out so he gives Shin-ae a hug using a bear as proxy).

Yeong-gi understands how Shin-ae feels and wants to comfort her, but instead of doing this himself (eg. by talking to her, giving her a pat on the shoulder, etc...), he tells Dieter to. Although he's being a good wingman, there’s an interesting sense of Yeong-gi making sure to keep his distance, even if he wants to be there for her.

When Shin-ae notices Yeong-gi’s allergic reaction (which they think may be a fever), she reaches to touch his forehead to gauge his temperature — he quickly declines and moves her hand aside.

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss the motif of distance and how it’s seen in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s dynamic — and how it’s represented through touch and their hands. Characters who want to connect emotionally will also show physical signs they do (like extending your hand to someone). Emotional connection often requires characters to physically be present together as well. Characters who want to avoid connection avoid touch and keep their distance.

Here, Shin-ae shows a desire to “reach” Yeong-gi by helping him, and this is reflected when she extends her hand and reaches to touch his forehead. A refusal of her touch in this case is also a refusal of her help and her attempt to connect to him. Shin-ae shows some slight discomfort at this – it was a harmless attempt to help him, but he doesn’t want her to.

Yeong-gi follows with an explicit verbal refusal:

“Again, you don’t have to worry about me… You just had your home broken into, you need to put yourself before me, alright?”

This is fitting with Yeong-gi’s overarching character arc — he has an extremely low sense of self-worth that prevents him from accepting others’ concern. Him telling Shin-ae to put herself before him also fits his thinking: that those he cares about are more important than him, Shin-ae included. And it doesn’t matter if what she actually wants is to help him.*

*This is an interesting trait of Yeong-gi's... despite caring deeply for Shin-Ae, he undermines her intelligence and wishes by not accepting her affection for him, and carefully controlling how close she gets. Although born from insecurity, it is also, fascinatingly, covertly manipulative.

Ep. 85-6 | Bills - I care about you

Yeong-gi asks Shin-ae if she is able to get to where she is staying for the night and she gives him more information than he asks for, showing new emotional vulnerability. He notices this and gives her The Look™ — he appreciates that she is now more open to him.

When Yeong-gi sees her overdue bills, he makes sure to let her know that her financial struggles do not determine her worth and anyone who tells her otherwise isn’t worth her time.

“Remember you’ve always got someone to lean on with your friends, okay?”

His spiel is incredibly heartwarming, and we can understand that he states these things from his own heart. However, he keeps it impersonal, stating "your friends" (not “me” or “us”) and instead allowing Shin-Ae to define whether he fits under that category as well. Yeong-gi is no longer trying to assert his friendship anymore.

After opening up more in response and letting the boys take her to the hospital to stay with her father, she removes the "Stalker" in Yeong-gi's contact name in her phone, showing development in their relationship since they first met and a large difference in how she sees him now — they're friends, and she thinks so too.

Ep. 89 | Insolence, but only for Shin-ae (and only in secret) & a Kousuke/Yeong-gi parallel

After learning of Shin-Ae's etiquette classes, Yeong-gi enters Kousuke’s office, specifically to start trouble with him. Yeong-gi is shown to try his best lately to obey his family members (namely his father), but once again we see how he is fine with starting trouble, even if it costs him, if it's for those he cares about — despite Kousuke reminding Yeong-gi of the repercussions of getting in trouble with their father, Yeong-gi doesn’t back down.

Kousuke: “You know you’re only going to anger father if he catches you being indolent.”

Yeong-gi: “I don’t give a crap if he finds out.”

Yeong-gi then aggressively asks him about the classes Kousuke put her in:

Kousuke: “It’s for her own good.”

Yeong-gi: “What do you mean, her own good?”

Kousuke: “... She’s the worst employee I’ve ever seen, so I signed her up for classes to fix her issues.”

Yeong-gi: “Have you ever voiced your concerns… tell her what she can improve upon? … She may have her flaws, but she’s a lot more capable than you think!”

Kousuke: “I’m preparing her for what’s to come her way in the future.”

Yeong-gi: “You don’t even know if she wants this career for her future! Everytime I see her, she’s miserable. Like she wants to leave. She’s uncomfortable!”

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss how there are multiple instances— where Yeong-gi and Kousuke, as well as how they affect Shin-Ae, are purposefully contrasted — and this is paralleled here.

Consistently in these instances, (although Kousuke’s intentions are often good) Yeong-gi is shown to be the one who best understands Shin-Ae. At the very least, Yeong-gi is shown here to care for Shin-Ae enough to confront his brother and potentially face the wrath of his father, despite trying especially hard to be in their good graces recently.

However, it is important to note — Yeong-gi goes out of his way to ensure his intentions of helping Shin-ae are indirect and she does not know. Instead, he tries to help her in roundabout ways, secretly.

Yeong-gi does not want his good intentions to reach her.

Conclusions

Yeong-gi displays a notable difference in how he acts, especially around Shin-ae. His new emerging feelings conflict his insecurities, resulting in a standoffish Yeong-gi who is secretive in his affection, and calculatingly tries to distance himself from Shin-ae. But... this isn't what he truly wants, and is instead, another form of self-sabotage.

However, as time goes on, Yeong-gi cannot keep this facade up indefinitely... and he's occasionally caught off guard, giving us glimpses into what he truly feels.

#i love yoo #stalkyoo #shin ae x yeong gi #shin ae yoo #yeong gi hirahara #yeong-gi #yeong gi #webtoon #manhua #manhwa #quimchee #yootip #shin ae x kousuke #kousuke hirahara #yeonggi #webcomic #nol hirahara #shoujo #my post #my meta

[wordsnwhiskey]

As It Should Be | Chapter 5: Breaking In The Newbies

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales

Summary: After a rough and emotional night, Frankie makes a decision on Jack’s offer. Before they can get to that though, the morning debrief with Champ brings back a familiar face and Jack has you and Frankie teach the junior agents a lesson during combat training.

Rating: M

Warnings: Canon typical violence, guns, swearing, discussions about safewords.

A/N: Alright, a lot of stuff needed to happen here and we’re going to have a little action and see Frankie show off a bit. It was important to me that the discussion of safe words and Jack checking again for consent happened in a chapter separate from the actual smut. For me, it further emphasizes that Jack doesn’t want Frankie to feel pressured to accept or do anything he doesn’t want to because it’s “in the moment”. Consent is sexy, friends.

I have to give my love and thanks to mi esposa @danniburgh and my friend Agent Capri Sun for the beta reads, the fantastic constructive criticism and encouragement!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Chapter 4: Company | AO3 | Art

The morning sun stirred Frankie. Even with his eyes still closed, he could tell the room was alight, but the warmth that surrounded him had nothing to do with the sun and everything to do with the body next to him. He opened his eyes and realized he was definitely not in Whiskey’s guest bedroom. Instead, he was very much curled into Whiskey’s lightly rising chest. Frankie blushed, very unused to being the little spoon, and moreover, not used to someone’s morning wood poking at him. Whiskey was gently roused from sleep by Frankie’s small movements. He lifted his arm from around Frankie’s waist and stretched.

“G’morning Flyboy. You were having nightmares, so I brought you in here.

“Oh, sorry for waking you up and… thank you.” Frankie felt guilt sting at his throat.

Whiskey grunted and rolled out of bed to go shower.

“Nothing to worry about, partner. I’m no stranger to those kinds of nightmares.”

Frankie was grateful Whiskey understood and made no effort to pry. With a grunt of his own, Frankie got up from the bed and made his way to the kitchen, intent on trying to get coffee going while Whiskey showered.

Whiskey finished his shower and stepped out to dry off, then wrapped his towel around his waist. He was drawn to the kitchen by the smell of coffee, Frankie’s initiative quirking the corners of his mouth into a small smile. He leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as Frankie poured their coffee, handing Whiskey’s to him black. Jack hummed his approval, a sound which he noted made Frankie preen a bit.

“Good boy.” Jack gestured to the coffee with a small wink as the air seemed to be pushed from Frankie’s lungs. “Now, as much as I enjoy the view of you in just my shorts, let's get you into something you can wear at the office.”

Frankie was rooted to the spot, Jack’s “good boy” ringing in his ears and sending a wave of warmth throughout his entire body. Jack didn’t comment, just let his smirk speak for itself as he took his coffee back to his room and opened the doors to his closet. His fingers tabbed at a few of the hanging suits as he looked back to see that Frankie had finally uprooted himself and joined him.

“We’re similar in build, so you ought to be able to pull off one of my suits…”

Frankie winced.

“Right, well then, let’s go with something a touch more casual.

Jack grabbed a pair of jeans, a blue button down, white t-shirt, belt, and socks, handing each article of clothing over to Frankie as he moved around his closet.

“There, that should do you. Comfortable, but still presentable for Statesman.”

Jack gave him a smile only to notice Frankie shifting his weight.

“Thanks,” came Frankie’s reply as he turned to get dressed. He didn’t mind going without boxers, but the sudden realization that he needed more clothes of his own hit Frankie as he dressed in the clothes Jack had given him.

“Hey Jack?”

Whiskey hummed in acknowledgement as he finished getting dressed himself: jeans, suspenders, white button down shirt, and a navy wool blazer.

“I was thinking about your offer last night, and… I’d like that.”

Whiskey turned to look at Frankie, giving him a once over, distantly thinking about how good Frankie looked in his clothes, and a mischievous smile lit up Whiskey’s face.

“I’m looking forward to it, Flyboy. We’ll discuss things a bit more at the end of the day in my office. It’s about as close to neutral territory as we’re gonna get for that conversation. For today though, I want you to be a good boy and stick to me like a shadow. We’re meeting with Champ first thing. Then, we’re gonna have some fun.”

Frankie nodded, rocking back on his heels for a moment, then fell in step with Whiskey as they headed out, both of them grabbing their respective hats as they went. The ride in Whiskey’s Bronco was quiet, and soon enough they were riding the elevator up to their floor in the Statesman tower.

You were seated at the conference table facing the double doors with Pope to your right.

“You sleep alright, Pope? Hope Ginger didn’t keep you too late.”

“She’s something, that’s for sure, Hawk, but she did let me go, eventually.”

He gave you a good natured laugh that slowly lost its shine.

“You hear from Fish, Hawk? Ginger told me where she put him up and I went to check on him last night, but he never answered.”

Worry bloomed in your chest, not that it had really gone away after seeing Frankie leave yesterday. You figured if he wanted or needed to talk, he would have reached out to you. Honestly, you had hoped he would have checked in with Pope at some point since he probably felt more comfortable with him. Just then, the conference double doors opened, giving way as Jack strode in, greeting you with a smile and tilt of his head. Relief eased the tension in your chest and shoulders when Frankie followed closely behind Jack. Your eyes darted over to Whiskey, fixing him with a questioning gaze as you realized the clothes Frankie was wearing belonged to Jack.

“Fish!” Pope practically jumped out of his chair, rushing over to Frankie with a duffle bag in tow. “I was worried about you, hermano. I went to the hotel, but you didn’t answer.”

To Frankie’s credit, his face didn’t betray much, but both you and Pope knew that Frankie didn’t have any other clothes aside from what he had left with.

“Uh, yeah, must’ve just missed you.”

You could tell Pope was filing the information away for later. Your eyes wandered to Jack’s again and you raised an eyebrow. At least you now had an idea why he had cancelled on you last night.

“Here, Fish. I figured you’d want your go bag.”

“Gracias, hermano.”

They clasped arms, then took their seats. Frankie grabbed the orange tinted glasses he had left the day before and put them on, adjusting them on the bridge of his nose. His gaze fell to yours and he gave you a small smile, but before you could say anything, Champ’s holo image flickered to life.

“Catfish! You’re looking mighty fine! Much better than yesterday.”

“Yes sir, thanks.”

Champ nodded. He’d been worried about how the man would fare, especially considering the news yesterday.

“Right, down to the business at hand. It does appear that a new cartel is making their play at center stage, picking up where Poppy left off. They’re not following Poppy’s business model, though. From what we understand, the group is headed by four individuals: Isabella Gómez, Duke Hernández, Steven Weisel and Emily Weisel. They’ve taken to calling themselves La Linda Rosa, likely after the Red Agent flowers. Up until now, they’ve been your run of the mill cartel, but it’s our belief that the Weisels have been instrumental in their production and processing of Agent Red. Recently, the Weisels purchased land in Colombia, and from our drone coverage, they may have set up processing plants there. We don’t know why the sudden shift to Agent Red, though. The plants themselves go for $500k per plant, and they take time to mature. We don’t think the Weisels are responsible for acquiring the plants, so that leaves either Isabella or Duke.”

Frankie’s attention drifted from Champ to the pictures on the screen and swore.

“Fuck. Pope, you know who that is, right? I thought they were in Australia?”

Pope did a double take, recognizing his old informant’s brother. The Statesman stared at the two men, waiting for them to elaborate. Frankie sighed and settled into his seat a bit more, knee bouncing anxiously.

“Four years ago, Pope came to me and the rest of our old team to take out Gabriel Martín Lorea and make out with the money he had stockpiled. Pope’s CI, Yovanna, and her brother, Duke, both worked for Lorea. In exchange for helping us, Pope got the brother out of jail and we dropped them off in Peru with papers to Australia and $3M. Looks like Duke wasn’t satisfied with life in Australia.”

Ginger frowned and pulled up Duke’s known associates, Yovanna’s picture following the others on screen.

“Yovanna appears to still be living in Australia, but it’s possible Duke grabbed the money and ran.”

Frankie closed his eyes, lifting his cap and carding his fingers through his hair before placing the hat back on his head and sighing.

“What’s the plan? Sounds like the plants and processing facilities need to be taken out, and then there’s the compound, too.”

Pope nodded, then sighed as well. This was bringing back memories for the both of them.

“We’ll also need to be wary of the local agencies. They’ll be on the lookout for anyone suspicious, especially if it’s anything like how it was with Lorea.”

Champ nodded and tilted his head to Ginger.

“We’re doing our own recon and then we’ll break out teams. Pope, Catfish, we’d like you to at least help with intel, and given your experience in taking down Lorea, if you’re up for it, I’d like you both on the compound assault team.”

You saw Pope and Frankie share a look, Frankie’s jaw clenched and then he nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Great, not to worry boys, Statesman has the best resources, stateside or otherwise. For now, I’m sure we can keep you plenty busy. Whiskey, don’t forget, today is your day for combat training with the new recruits. Bourbon, Cranberry needs you to test equipment in the lab later today.”

“Pope, could you actually stick around again for a bit? I’ve got some more intel I want to run through with you.” Ginger chimed in, and you were surprised he didn’t grimace at the idea of being locked in a room for hours again.

With that, the meeting was over, Champ’s holo image disappeared and they took their glasses off. Jack stood up and Frankie was quick to follow him, much to your intrigue. You stood up as well. You were eager to watch Jack have his way with the new agents. It was always fun. Whiskey seemed to know you would be following and beckoned for you to enter his office first, followed by Frankie, and Jack closed the door behind him.

“Go ahead and set your bag down wherever you’d like, Flyboy.”

Frankie dropped his bag in a corner then promptly started to rifle through it, pulling his shoes out and quickly swapping his dress shoes for them. He let out a sigh of relief as he rolled up on the balls of his feet and rocked back on his heels. He hated dress shoes.

You took a short minute to admire Frankie in the blue button down while he rolled up his sleeves. Jack’s fingers wrapped around your wrist and he tugged you into him.

“Missed you, darlin’.”

Smiling, you took his face in your hands and tugged him down for a kiss.

“Missed you too, Jack.”

You murmured against his lips, and you resolved not to ask about last night. Whatever happened, Frankie must have reached out to Jack, not you or Santi, and you’d leave it at that. Jack hummed contentedly for a moment before he pulled back and winked at you.

“Are you coming to watch us break in the newbies, darlin’? I was thinking you and Flyboy could do the first demo.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously, but there was a playfulness in them as well.

“Us?” You questioned Jack with a raised eyebrow.

“First demo?” Came Frankie’s question as he whirled around to face you and Whiskey.

Jack’s smile broadened and he started out of his office and towards the elevator, expecting you and Frankie to follow.

“What are we demoing, Whiskey?”Frankie asked, more pointedly this time.

“Well, our newbies are scheduled to learn about disarms and what happens when the enemy goes for their gun. I thought it’d be good to have them start out seeing Bourbon disarm you.”

Frankie huffed as he crossed his arms and leaned against the elevator wall. You smiled as you leaned against the wall opposite Frankie.

“It’ll be just like old times, Fish.”

He groaned and shook his head.

“Why have me do the demo though? I’m not a Statesman agent.”

Before you could respond to reassure Frankie, Jack chimed in, eyeing him with nothing short of gleeful mischief. Jack enjoyed breaking the new agents in almost a little too much sometimes, but it was good for them, and he was good at it.

“No, you’re not, you’re ex-Delta Force, Frankie. These agents have had plenty of training, but they don’t have your experience, Flyboy. They’re gonna learn the difference today.”

Jack shared a similar philosophy with you when it came to combat training and sparring. You had been a terror in hand-to-hand, still were, you were proud to say. You knew there was often a size disadvantage, but you had learned to use your opponent’s momentum against them, and more importantly, you didn’t follow convention. In sparring matches, most people fought like they were sparring, which was fine for beginning, but there was a big difference between practicing and being in an actual fight. You never advocated for an all out brawl, but you refused to follow the typical learned pattern that people naturally gravitated towards. Tom had been predictable and a sore loser. Will was predictable but sweet. Benny, well, there was a reason he was semi-pro, which left Santi and Frankie. Santiago was fun, and you had lost your fair share of matches to both him and Benny. Frankie had a spark in his eyes when he sparred, but no matter how hard you had tried to get him to let go, he refused. It had nothing to do with anything silly like you being a woman, more to do with the fact that Frankie never seemed to just let himself go in that way. You had only seen him let go a bit twice, both times in the field and well worn down by the day.

The elevator dinging startled you out of your reverie, and you followed right behind Jack towards the training room. Frankie assumed they would be entering a gym of sorts, but he was sorely mistaken, and he realized the ‘floor’ they were on must have been composed of several. The ‘room’ was really more of a training complex housed in the unassuming tower. To the right, a group of 20 people stood, waiting. He gave them a cursory glance, and then his eyes were pulled to the range. He’d definitely have to visit to let off some stress. He followed as you and Whiskey led the way to the group of agents and hung back slightly as the group stood to attention.

“Well, look at this promising group of newbies, Bourbon. D’you think they’re up for today’s lesson?”

You let the smirk on your lips turn into a full crooked smile, you had more than a small idea as to what Jack was going to do. Looking over your shoulder, you caught Frankie’s eye and nodded for him to join you.

“I don’t know, Whiskey, simple concept, but we’ll see what their execution is like. My money is on our guy.”

The agents before you bristled, full of young pride that was well-earned. Whiskey’s hand clasped over Frankie’s shoulder as he introduced him to the new agents.

“Y’all are in for a treat. Our friend, Catfish, here, has generously volunteered to help train you on close quarters combat and disarms. Bourbon will demo the defense first. Catfish,” Whiskey took a pistol from the long table off to the side and handed it to Frankie. “Your objective is simple: shoot a blank at Bourbon.”

Frankie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his eyes sought yours to make sure you were comfortable. An answering smile was good enough for him, and he checked the pistol, confirming there were no live rounds, before looking back up at you. The two of you easily slid into a ready position, and Jack gestured for the new agents to give you some room.

“Halcón, when you go for the takedown, ten cuidado con mi espalda. Ya no soy joven.” [be careful with my back. I’m not young anymore.]

It only mildly annoyed you that he already knew you were going to go for the takedown, after priding yourself on your spontaneity earlier, but you pushed that out of your mind as you both stood a few steps apart. There would be a split second when Frankie pulled his pistol and took a readying step. That would be where you would have an opening and make your move. A tense handful of seconds that seemed to stretch on filled the air. Jack watched the new agents, the tension between you and Frankie seemed to embed itself in the junior agents’ lungs as they all waited with bated breath.

Nothing telegraphed Frankie’s quick movements as he drew his pistol, but on instinct, your body was moving. He saw your left hand fly out to redirect his momentum and push his gun hand away, quickly shifting to plant his weight, keeping you from landing the takedown this early. The training you and Frankie had received taught you to be efficient and end things quickly. That was easier said when you had spent years training together. The junior agents seemed to still be holding their breath while you traded blows. Your moment of opportunity came, and you took it. Frankie seemed to understand what was happening but his balance was off. You stepped into him, your hip bumping his as your hand came to grip over the top of his pistol. The next thing everyone knew, you were both on the ground, the gun skittering harmlessly away, and Frankie’s arm in an arm bar. He grunted and quickly tapped at your leg to surrender, and you let him go. The class was quiet until Whiskey broke the silence as you helped Frankie to his feet.

“I hope you lot were paying attention to Catfish here, he did a great job demonstrating what to do when facing a difficult opponent like Bourbon. For this exercise, the rest of you will attempt to take a shot at Catfish and he will disarm you by whatever means he deems necessary.”

You can’t help but let out a small laugh, knowing Whiskey was being intentional with his wording.The laugh died quickly, however, at the words of one of the junior agents.

“How was that a good example? He lost, he was disarmed. We should be practicing against someone better, who would last longer.”

At your side, you saw Frankie stand up straighter, his feet moving shoulder width apart as his hands clasped behind his back and he fixed the younger agent with a steely gaze. Even as his breathing remained calm, it was obvious the words had gotten to him. Whiskey’s good natured grin turned into a smug smirk.

“Davis,” Whiskey began, calling the man out by his last name and emphasizing he hadn’t earned a Statesman moniker. “Since you’re so eager, by all means, approach Catfish when you’re ready and show us how your Statesman training fares.”

Frankie kept his gaze leveled at the cocky junior agent, noticing in his periphery that you had moved away to give them plenty of room. Davis moved to be a few steps in front of him. Frankie continued to hold the stare as he questioned Whiskey.

“Are you sure about this, Whiskey?”

Whiskey nodded, Frankie’s gaze flickering over to him for the briefest of seconds, then he brought his hands to a loose ready position at his sides. Davis drew his pistol, but Frankie grabbed the barrel with his left hand, stepped forward and hooked his right foot behind Davis’ lead leg and pushed on the agent’s chest with his right hand. Davis went down, but found himself suspended by Frankie’s hold on his shirt. The class was filled with littered gasps and snickers. The ‘fight’ was over before it had really begun. Frankie helped right the agent and stepped aside to let him retrieve his firearm.

“Attaboy, Catfish! Davis, looks like you’ve got some work to do. Here’s another lesson, agents: Statesman agents aren’t your only competition out there. We’ve got some fancy gear and trainin’ here, but there’s a world of intelligence agents and mercs out there. Catfish served with Bourbon, and that should tell you all you need to know.” He paused a moment to let the information sink in as Davis returned to the line to lick his wounds. Then Whiskey called the next agent.

Frankie breathed in, then out through his nose, and got ready. As they went, the junior agents in waiting began to pick up on a few of his techniques, and he had to adjust, but time spent practicing and training at Benny’s gym had prepared him well for this.

You watched as Jack’s eyes danced while he followed Frankie’s movements. The circumstances earlier had prevented him from truly appreciating how efficient and capable the quiet man was. The last of the junior agents had made their attempt and consequently failed. Frankie’s breath was coming more unevenly now, and rightly so. What he had gone through would be exhausting for anyone.

“Well done, everyone, a round of applause to Catfish for taking the time to demonstrate y’all have a lot to learn before getting approved for field work. Now go on and line up at the range and get warmed up. We’ll be running sims next.”

The junior agents dispersed to the range towards the back of the room. Frankie let out a breath and rolled his shoulders to let out some of the tension he had been carrying, then started heading for the range, eager to let off some more steam.

“Where do you think you’re going, partner?”

Frankie frowned, his eyes darting between you and Whiskey in confusion.

“I thought we were going to go shoot?”

Jack smiled then winked at Frankie.

“They’re warming up, you still have one more person to disarm, Flyboy.”

Frankie’s fingers twitched, and you could see that the exercise earlier had worn at his usual restraint.

“No lasso.”

Whiskey handed you his lasso, then unloaded his revolvers and passed you the ammo. He holstered his revolvers again and stepped into position in front of Frankie. You watched as a new kind of energy seemed to crackle between them, and some of the junior agents seemed to sense it, stopping to watch as well.

Whiskey was fast, but training at the boxing gym had helped Frankie with his speed. As Whiskey drew his revolver, Frankie sprung forward. He didn’t bother to grab the gun. Instead, he brought his fist down on the barrel, sending it skittering away. Whiskey’s fist connected with Frankie’s side, and you heard, rather than saw, Frankie’s reservations fall away with a snarl. He took hold of the inside of Jack’s blazer, grabbing the grip of the other revolver holstered there and made to pull it out and take the ‘shot’. Jack’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn’t expected Frankie to go on the offensive, but he found he was impressed. He liked a challenge. Before Frankie could draw the revolver from the holster, Jack grabbed his wrists and wrenched them down, then back up quickly to break Frankie’s hold, and then Jack threw them both to the ground. Both men recovered quickly, but in the chaos, the revolver had fallen to the ground and Frankie scrambled for it. Just as his fingertips touched cold metal, Whiskey’s whip flicked the revolver further away, and they closed the distance to grapple with each other again.

Your match with Frankie had been a well practiced dance, and this was too, in its own right. However, where yours had been fluid, Whiskey and Frankie were bordering on feral. For a moment, it appeared that Frankie had gotten the upper hand. Whiskey staggered backwards, about to fall, but as he went, he flicked his whip, the corded length wrapping around Frankie’s throat. He tugged, sending them both to the ground. Frankie grunted and struggled against the snare he was in. Whiskey wasted no time in scrambling up and pinning Frankie, his knee to the pilot’s back. Frankie continued to struggle until Whiskey leaned down so that only the other man could hear.

“Easy now, Tiger, save your strength for tonight. You did good.”

Frankie relaxed under Jack’s weight and nodded. Whiskey got off of him with a grunt and unwound the corded length of the whip from Frankie’s neck, then pressed a button on the handle to recall it. He helped Frankie up and dusted him off a bit.

A few of the junior agents were still watching in awe. It was rare to see a senior agent like you or Whiskey truly need to put some effort in, and to see it twice in one day was something else entirely. You walked over to the two men and put your hand on Frankie’s shoulder.

“You did great, Fish, nice to see you let loose for once.”

He scoffed good naturedly and swooped to pick his hat up from off the ground.

“You guys had quite the audience while you were at it, too.” Your smile was barely contained as you raised an eyebrow at Jack.

This time it was Whiskey’s turn to scoff.

“Well, I hope they’ve been practicing. They’ll be running the sim after Frankie does.”

Whiskey patted Frankie on his shoulder then gestured for him to follow. He led him to an enclosed area that occupied the majority of the left side of the training complex. A small structure that looked like a house sat inside the enclosure, and you knew it was furnished to match whatever simulation scenario had been determined. Whiskey stopped at a table just outside of the enclosure and gestured to the rifle, combat knife, folder, and headset.

“Alright, Flyboy, I know you’ve done this sort of exercise before. Your brief is on the table there. Good luck.���

You and Whiskey walked a bit further along the enclosure to two screens. One cycled through a variety of camera angles while the other would connect to the headset once Frankie turned it on.

“You’re really having Frankie run the simulation?”

Whiskey nodded, “I didn’t have him help with the demo just to teach those newbies a lesson, darlin’. He’s been through hell, and I figured getting him to work through some of that in sparring and the sim would help. That, and, well… you can’t blame me for bein’ curious, Bourbon. Last time I got to see what he could do, we were a bit busy trying not to get shot.”

You can’t help but to chuckle and shake your head, your attention going back to Frankie as he geared up.

“Frankie turns into a different person on missions sometimes, used to scare the hell out of people on base who saw it. No one ever suspected it because he was always the quiet one, but he’s just as competitive as the rest of the guys on the team. He was just always scary good at keeping a level head and focusing on the mission. You’ll see.”

Frankie put on the kit provided for him then flipped through the brief before lowering the headset and advancing. The brief had been fairly simple: infiltrate the compound, rescue the target, and escort the target to the exfil location. They even provided a decent description of the target. The virtual course populated guards patrolling the 3 entrances. He opted for the path of least resistance with only 2 guards posted.

From the screen, you and Jack could see Frankie take a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing even as he crept towards the two guards. You knew it was because he was willing himself to let go, to let his instincts and muscle memory take over. He was lightning fast as his knife came out and he landed brutal and precise fatal blows to the targets on the screen. In a normal situation, he would hide the bodies but the miracle of technology meant he didn’t have to. It was beautiful in a devastating way to watch Frankie move with such confidence, stealth, and precision. He peered around a hallway, noting the sudden influx of guards and catching a glimpse of red at the end of the hall. The brief had indicated the target would be in red, and it made sense that there would be more guards to ensure the target didn’t run off. He counted five hostiles in the hallway.

Five guards, five bullets.

Once he had downed the hostiles, Frankie stepped through the hallway, catching a glimpse of the target and swore at how cliché the scenario was. The brief had just said the target had last been seen wearing red.

“¡Me están jodiendo! ¿En serio? ¿Una mujer en un vestido rojo?” [They’re fucking with me. Really? A woman in a red dress?]

You could both hear Frankie through the mic link in his headset, and you couldn’t help but laugh. It quickly died as you and Whiskey tensed. The woman in red was a decoy, one that statistically caught the majority of users by surprise.

“Ma’am, are you-” She moved just barely and he saw the glint of where a gun was holstered. Frankie didn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he fired a shot to her chest and grumbled to himself before moving on. Normally, it wouldn’t have taken him that long to figure it out.

Whiskey whistled, thoroughly impressed. It wasn’t long after that Frankie found the real target and reached the ‘exfil location’.

“Damn, sweetheart, you sure picked a good one.”

He winked at you, and you grinned back as Frankie pulled off the headset and his kit, then walked over to you.

“Alright, agents! Catfish successfully completed the sim in 15 minutes, that’s your time to beat!”

A chorus of groans echoed in the training room. Whiskey ignored them and clapped Frankie on his shoulder.

“You did good, Flyboy, really set the bar high. Most people get caught up by the decoy.”

Frankie’s chest puffed out a little at the praise, but he was soon shaking his head. Before he could deflect the compliment, Whiskey squeezed his shoulder.

“Feeling hungry, Flyboy? Figured the three of us could grab a quick lunch before Cran steals Bourbon here away from us.”

“Yeah, I’m starving. Didn’t expect you to keep me busy like that.”

Vermouth entered the training room, and you waved him down.

“Hey, Vermouth! Watch the junior agents for us. Whiskey’s just got them running the sim. We’re going to go grab lunch!”

Without waiting for Vermouth’s answer, you grabbed Whiskey and Frankie’s hands, dragging them out of the training room and to the elevator.

“There’s a deli not far from the office we can walk to, and it’s late enough that we should miss the rush.”

Walking arm in arm with both of your boys, you could think of very few things better than right now. You didn’t care that you were in the middle of downtown New York. All that mattered was Whiskey on your right, and Frankie on your left.

Frankie did his best to relax and not let his anxiety and internal struggles get the best of him. Whiskey’s words echoed in his mind: “When it comes to me and Bourbon, keep an open mind and try not to overthink it.” That was a lot easier said than done, but he was working on it.

You were right, the timing made it so that you had missed the lunch rush. You all ordered your food, Whiskey stepping in to pay with a look that silenced both you and Frankie, then you all went to sit down.

Whiskey practically sprawled in his chair, his legs encroaching your space under the table and Frankie’s space next to him. Frankie sat somewhat stiffly but the more he ate, the more he seemed to relax. You nudge his foot with yours playfully to grab his attention.

“How’s your back? Mr. Ya-no-soy-joven.”

The three of you laughed, and Frankie shook his head with a wide grin on his face.

“I’m not! Gotta leave that shit for the young guys who think they’re invincible.”

“Young guys like Davis?” You shot back, smug on Frankie’s behalf.

“Cocky kid had it coming.”

There was no anger in Frankie’s eyes, only the slightest lilt of mirth in his voice as his gaze met yours, then Whiskey’s. Whiskey leaned forward and barked a laugh while patting Frankie on the back.

“He sure did. The lot of them were in need of a reality check. That’s why Champ specifically likes to have me or Bourbon take at least one pass at our junior agents. After all those hours spent training, they tend to forget that there are much bigger fish out there.”

Conversation flowed easily between them for the rest of their lunch. It reminded Frankie of the prior morning, when they were enjoying breakfast and everything just felt right. It felt as if all of the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, and this time, this time, it didn’t feel fleeting.

Walking to the office was much more comfortable than the walk to the deli had been. You noticed that Frankie was far less stiff under your touch on his arm, even leaning into you occasionally. You parted ways in the elevator. You were heading to the lab to play guinea pig for Cranberry, and your boys were headed upstairs to Whiskey’s office. Frankie seemed hesitant to let you go, and you did your best not to spook him, your heart fluttering in your chest.

Given everything that had happened, things needed to be almost wholly in Frankie’s court, at least until he was more comfortable around you. You had certainly noticed, however, how easily Frankie and Whiskey seemed to allow each other into their respective spaces. The elevator doors closed behind you as you strode down the hall. You were glad that they were comfortable together, though. It had definitely been a concern of yours, considering their respective pasts, but you also thought that there was the potential for them to relate and understand each other better than most.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, and as directed, Frankie remained Jack’s shadow. Jack did his best to keep from laughing when 5pm rolled around and Frankie began to subconsciously bounce his knee. He was scrolling on his phone, lower lip pulled between his teeth and brow furrowed as he tried to focus on whatever was on the screen.

You knocked on Jack’s open office door, raising an eyebrow when you saw Frankie startle at the sound. He wasn’t usually this jumpy. Jack’s gaze met yours, and you could see the amusement and mischief that bubbled in his eyes.

“Hey there, darlin’, you getting ready to head out for the night?”

“Just about, wanted to come see my boys before I do.”

Frankie’s knee stopped bouncing at your words, his phone falling into his lap as he looked up at you. You motion for him to scoot over a bit as you sit down on the couch next to him and rest your chin on your hand.

“We’re still on for dinner tomorrow, right?”

You posed the question to the room in general, even though the three of you knew that it was really directed towards Frankie.

“Uh yeah, I’m-I’m looking forward to dinner tomorrow,” Frankie says after clearing his throat and gives you both a shy smile. Leaning over, you take his large hand in your own and give it a squeeze.

“Great!” Standing up from the couch, you smooth your clothes, give Frankie a kiss on his cheek, and then kiss Jack. “I’ll find us a place, and we’ll figure it out more tomorrow. Night, Frankie. Night, Jack.”

A minute later, you’re gone, and suddenly there’s nothing keeping Frankie’s mind off of the time, which is painfully close to 6pm, when Jack said he’d be done with work. The moment the clock turned that final, eternal minute, Frankie sat up straight, attentive, and alert as his eyes watched Whiskey.

Jack leaned back in his chair, stretching, then relocated next to Frankie on the couch.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything tonight, Flyboy. If you feel like you’re not up for it, we’ll just grab dinner and head home.”

Frankie shook his head and took a steadying breath.

“No, I want this. I-I could really use it, Jack.”

Whiskey nodded, eyes wandering over Frankie as he adjusted on the couch.

“Alright, I use the green, yellow, red system. You need me to stop for whatever reason, call red, and that’s it, no questions, no hard feelings or fuss. I’ll get you cleaned up and help you come down. Sound good?”

Frankie nodded, his tongue suddenly thick and his mouth dry in anticipation. Jack tutted.

“I need you to use your words, Flyboy.”

Frankie swallowed, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I understand, s-sounds good.”

“Good. Now…” Jack pulled a small pad of stationary paper and a pen from the side table. “I want you to write out what you’re ok with and any hard or soft limits you have.”

Frankie nodded, then took the pen and paper and began writing.

[click for better quality]

A blush took hold of Frankie as he handed it back.

“It’s what I can come up with off the top of my head, for tonight at least. I’ll let you know if anything else comes up though.”

Jack’s eyes were dark as he perused the list, looking up from the paper to Frankie, he stood up with a smile.

“C’mon Flyboy… we’re gonna have some fun tonight.”

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