#which is my lens!

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[cemeterything]

#🐉 #this is what i love about being involved in community spaces for fiction though tbh #everyone has different personalized interpretations of the source material and some of them align with my own or make me go 'oh huh i never #thought of that but yeah i can see it' while some of them just dont compute at all and make me wonder if we saw the same thing #which of course. we didnt. or rather we saw the same objective source material but we *saw* it completely differently through the lens of #our own experiences and worldview. #its so cool #however i will sometimes be a hypocritical little hater about it

[snackugaki]

glasses and gadgets gang

#the insomnia is kicking my ass #but this is how i became a better artist #by irresponsibly using the extra hours i'm awake to practice #(do not actually do this) #(don't) #for my nearsighted homies #my farsighted homies #and my bitches with astigmatism #turtleweens pointed out #bayDonnie is farsighted #which: correct #if the eyes look huge in the lens #you got the far sight #if the eyes look like dots #bitch good luck if you ever put down your glasses and forget where immediately after #the fact both donnies #have done the dumbest shit with their brothers #and have their OHHHHHHH!!! reactions #mwah #chef's kiss #fanart shitposting #mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem donnie #mm donnie #mm donatello #bayverse donnie #bayverse donatello #bay tmnt #bayverse tmnt #bay donnie

[telordirebus]

my sillies

#project sekai #mafukasa #fanart #2022 #i was just thinking #if wxs mafuyu wears lukas dress for april fools does that means niigo tsukasa wears lens? #which is a huge win for me actually #these two refuses to leave my mind. wish they at least pay rent

[stardustdiiving]

The way some people talk about “misogynistic writing” with the female genshin archons—specifically Nahida & Furina— kills me a bit, because while i do feel there’s valid criticisms of genshin’s writing to be made (especially regarding Ei, who I do feel was done a massive disservice writing wise), often I see people seem to come from a place of not understanding the writing/characters well, and/or leaning into like…very reductive ideas of what makes a female character “good” that honestly says more about their biases than Genshin’s

For example, a common complaint I see against Nahida & Furina is about them being made to be “weak/unserious” and how this is bad writing because genshin is unwilling to take their characters seriously—but the way this is argued seems to suggest Furina & Nahida would be better characters if they were more physically powerful, mature, or “cooler” in some way. But I really dislike the notion of girlbossification being seen as the one standard of good writing for women. A girl being strong and independent and able to punch things really hard isn’t a marker of inherent good writing

Nahida and Furina not being physically powerful or completely sure of themselves is the point. Their lack of life-experience-based maturity and overpowering physical strength are intentional and points of strength for their character writing, not flaws or weaknesses:

Nahida is the God of Wisdom—her primary source of strength is her intelligence, which comes from her curiosity about the world that is intrinsically linked to her being very caring by nature. The reason Nahida is at a disadvantage in physical strength with the antagonists—Scaramouche and Dottore—and doesn’t have an epic moment where she brute force overpowers them, isn’t because Genshin is treating Nahida like an incompetent joke, it’s because her character highlights the overall theme in Sumeru’s AQ that power isn’t everything and strength/wisdom comes from many places.

She outsmarts both Scaramouche and Dottore through her ability to strategize—if you’re trying to sell Nahida as a character who embodies wisdom, it’s far stronger writing wise to have her use her wisdom and mind to overcome narrative conflict than have her be all powerful. If you don’t think Nahida revealing she’s trapped Scaramouche in a dream loop after he tries to rip her gnosis from her, or her standing her ground against Dottore and forcing him to bargain with her when he attempts to intimidate her into giving him what he wants doesn’t make her “cool” or interesting….idk ! Maybe it’s not the writing and just your personal preference for character appeal

Furina —without getting too deep into 4.2 spoilers—has an arc revolving around the loneliness & conflict of needing to mold yourself into a performance for a greater purpose, and grappling with personal identity and autonomy in the aftermath of performance and repression shaping your life. I really don’t understand how people watch how she’s handled and come away with the conclusion her character gets bent around Nuevillette’s man pain/the fact he’s just so ~much more competent than her unless you’re just really not interested in trying to engage Furina’s writing or taking it in confusingly bad faith

Her struggling with lacking the physical power/competence a god “should” have is, again, the point of her character and they are very clear where that lack of ability comes from within the writing. Her narrative actions follow an arc that revolves around this internal conflict she has—she feels very established to be her own person and they certainty don’t shy away from expanding on Furina’s emotions without it only being done as footing for other (male) characters

I think Nahida & Furina were just not what people were expecting the Dendro & Hydro Archon to be like, I also see a lot of complaints that neither of them “act like gods” or “seem very godlike” but see, in my opinion, one of the central themes to genshin overall is to examine the relationship between humanity and the divine. Part of this also includes calling into question what a god should be, especially in relation to humans/having a sense of humanity

The center conflict within Nahida & Furina’s characters is that their sense of humanity is at odds with being held to what being a god “should” be. Nahida is imprisoned by the Sages who treat her with disdain for being a child and not being inhumanly perfect enough to be useful to them as a deity. We see Furina try to engage with her people earnestly in a more human way before realizing she needs to put up the performance that proceeds to shape her life & state of deep loneliness for the next 500 years to be taken seriously and fulfill her duties. You aren’t supposed to look at Nahida or Furina and think they’re all powerful otherworldly divine beings. You’re supposed to view the, as people—people who are young and inexperienced regarding their position in life. Venti and Zhongli act like people in the same way—the only difference is they have more experience and have had the time to accomplish more feats as original members as the Seven

Again, it’s not that I don’t think there’s criticisms to be made. Genshin to me sets up Ei to be a character who requires a lot of self reflection/growth and thought with handling her moral dubiousness, and then out of desperately worrying she won’t be likable enough, seems to bend over with trying to insist on Ei being palpably appealing while not following through on a lot of what her character really needs to feel well handled. (I feel they barely even address Ei needing to rebuild trust with her people and it’s only more clear when you now see Furina spend a lot of time handling something similar despite doing less um, government oppression thsn Ei did for instance HDJNDJDJ. But I guess me pinning where my personal dissatisfaction with her writing comes from is another post in of its own and more based in general issues with Inazuma vs viewing it as misogynistic writing alone) The trend of not letting a female character grapple with her morality and try to push her being livable at the expense of addressing her complexity does honestly feel it falls into a misogynistic writing trends. I am really bummed out with Ei’s execution when genshin has proven through other characters along with Nahida and Furina they are capable of handling a character like her writing wise imo

But I really think, again, if someone thinks none of genshin’s women are engaging or interesting, or that Nahida and Furina aren’t taken seriously enough narratively while seeming to not really understand the intent of the characters’ writing, or want to take them seriously unless they’re cool/girlboss-y enough, I feel it may say more about their ideas of handling women in fiction than it does about genshin. I get personal preferences and not being really into a character, but people so frequently frame it as a possibly misogyny pattern with how genshin writes the female archons and I can’t help but disagree. I think sometimes people don’t consider what the story is trying to say with the characters vs what they think is cool or want (and of course what we all think is cool or may want/expect narratively is always informed by our own biases). There’s a level of subjectivity in how you can interpret writing and narratives of course but they’re just not interpretations I feel fit into what’s presented in the text !

#fern.txt #nahida #furina #Genshin #archons #THEY DONT GET MY GIRLS GUYS #fandomferns #slight 4.2 spoilers for thr furina bits #I keep it mostly vague tho #smh it’s not like I see genshins writing as the holy grail but sometimes I think it’s solid #I enjoy nahida and furina a lot and feel people just don’t get it a lot #and yeah some of the ways ppl don’t get it…does feel kind of like. damn. misogyny.png #which especially kills me a bit when it’s funneled through a lens of insisting their issues w the chars r bc of sexist writing

[raayllum]

*takes your face in my hands* listen to me. listen. sir sparklepuff was created as a christ figure. listen. he was born to die. made to be sacrificed. aaravos is god. a mostly jewish team of protags are fighting against god and pre-determinism. viren is called to sacrifice his son on a hill and it's their subsequent breaking point. aaravos is willing to sacrifice his son. soren is a judas who made the right choice. viren is literally entombed in a cave. listen to me. *crying* what father makes a son just to kill him? 

#fic: twice as many stars #somewhat canon tho #aaravos #tdp #the dragon prince #mine #sir sparklepuff #bc someone already made assumptions on this post: #i was born and raised christian for 16+ years. i went to catholic school for 10+ years. one of my cousins is a jesuit priest #if yall can't handle other ppl discussing and examining various lens through which to explore #the christ story / structure / meaning as christians #you're never gonna be able to handle the reality of jewish ppl good g-d

[uncanny-tranny]

What I think is so important to learning how to truly appreciate life is learning how to appreciate the creatures and things we've categorized as "disgusting" or "gross."

When I learned to appreciate wasps, I realized how much they just... don't really care about anything, and they're not trying to be an asshole because they're uniquely cruel. If they have any wants, it is to live. Why would I punish that when I also want to live?

This isn't to say you need to fall in love with the creepy crawlies that stalk this world or to love what you cannot, but to recognize that in their arrangement of atoms, they are trying to persevere, and in the end... aren't we all?

#positivity #bugs tw #this is why i think science is a love language btw #learning to love and appreciate through study is still love and appreciation #i've always been fine with bugs which might make this ring hollow to somebody with a phobia #and this isn't saying that people who are phobic of bugs are Evil or dumb (quite the opposite- humans are Good at fearing things) #what this is saying is find something you don't appreciate and learn about why you should appreciate it - for whatever reason #i learned to stop being neutral about bugs when i learned how cool they are - how they live! #i stopped being neutral about this planet when i learned how ancient it is! #i stopped being neutral about humans when i learned about how we lived and survived and loved! #i stopped being neutral about these things because i started to love them because i saw just how intricate EVERYTHING is #when you learn to see things through an appreciative lens you sometimes direct that viewpoint inward #so now instead of viewing myself as outside the universe i see myself and every little bug as PART of the universe #i stopped believing that i almost... wasn't worthy of being Part of Nature when i realized just how big everything is in the scale of it al #you should see my google searches omfg #everything is an argument and boy does this world have the ability to argue so well

[coldflasher]

anyway, thanks to that moment in the sound and the fury where barry is standing around watching with blank frustration like "god i wish i'd taken a language in high school" while hartley verbally eviscerates both cisco and eowells in multiple languages, i now headcanon that len speaks a second language, mostly cos barry would find it really annoying

#my headcanons #right now im leaning towards spanish. michael schofield had a hispanic/spanish-speaking cellmate in prison break right? #and who doesnt love a cheeky prison break ref in a coldflash fic #so yeah len picked up spanish in prison. he had the time. im not saying he's like fluent necessarily but he can get by #this gives me a fun chance to have him interact with cisco in spanish while barry is clueless. which is fun. i enjoy their dynamic #even more bonus points if lisa ALSO speaks some spanish because then i can have cisco speak to her in spanish #he thinks she doesn't understand so he says all these romantic things he'd never be bold enough to say normally #and then of course you get the trope where at a pivotal moment lisa turns and answers in spanish and it turns out she knew #what he was saying all along... #it's a classic <3 #anyways im obsessed with this now #the bit gets even funnier if everyone but barry speaks at least some spanish. like iris took it in high school so len and cisco are talking #while barry is like ????? and then iris joins in. still in spanish. and barry's like oh come on!! you too? #so they all get to bully him and he has no idea what they're saying <3

[purpleleafsyt]

Super ultra fast propaganda for the best bow mini tournament, you guys should vote for Lenore :]

@ultimatebabygirlsupremebattle​

#my art #my digital art #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #transfem leo #ultimatebabygirlsupreme tournament #ultimatebabygirlsupreme propaganda #little fun fact about her bow #it's supposed to resemble and sometimes imitate the way butterfly wings look #because I'm a sucker for the butterfly motif we as a fandom have given her #which is the same reason I draw Len with those eyelashes #they look like antennae:] #off queue #purplearts

[sweetpapercroissant]

i don’t get the appeal of an incest ship if you’re only ever going to focus on the good romantic feelings and not the icky negative ones. the resentment the feeling of being trapped shackled wanting out and away from the person who knows so much too much about you since before you even knew to not allow it but at the same time you can’t imagine living in a world without them being away is like tearing a limb a piece of your soul you will never again be complete without them. no one else will ever understand you the way they do no one else will ever get so deep under your skin and you may hate it but you hate the thought of them not being there even more you can’t stand to see anyone else get to a part of them you didn’t and even worse when they get it before you. you push and you push and you push but when they let go it’s like you’re free falling and it doesn’t matter how far away you run you will never be far enough away because you carry them inside you everywhere you go. you tell yourself you want nothing more than to get away but they’re the only home you will ever have and you won’t ever let anyone get that close you’re already moulded to only fit in perfectly with them and you didn’t have a choice but this is who you are. there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go but there’s nothing you could do to make them let you go. you want to be so close to them you want to merge your bodies into one you hate how crowded you feel when they’re in the same room like they’re sucking in all the air and there isn’t any left for you and you want to get away so you can just breathe but you don’t even want to breathe in the air that hasn’t passed through their lungs first you hate that you feel this way you wish you could claw it out of your veins but then who would you be without it without them you want so much and it’s so ugly and you’re ashamed of how raw that need is how you want every part the good the bad the human you wish none of this had ever happened you feel dirty you never even had a chance to find something else be something else but then you look over and you love them so much so much and when it comes down to it nothing else was ever going to be enough for you anyway.

#and this is all still just one type of the different dynamics possible #and even then i haven’t covered everything #it’s all just one tight hot mess of feelings. and it’s so good #there is still much much more and i wanted to write it but it was just getting so long #this isn’t targeted at anyone person or fandom but i have recently noticed an increasing trend of (that is probably just my dash tho) #treating incest ships as primarily romantic and. that just takes away everything that makes them so engaging in the first place #to each their own i don’t believe in telling people how to enjoy their fiction but i just don’t understand it is all #you do you i’m not judging or huffy about it or anything. and obviously i’m not talking about #making fluffy feel good posts/art/stories etc about your ships #but treating these ships the same way and looking at them mainly through the lens of romantic relationships #will just leave you with a huge part of them missing #and you can’t really understand their dynamics and their interactions without that very important context (they were family first) #which is also the foundation of their relationship #.txt

[cemeterything]

i feel like if someone studied your brain they could advance science by decades. what field of science exactly i have no idea

psychiatric studies

#i have to be honest i really dont think anything i do is that original or radical #ive just developed enough confidence to openly say what i think and feel and #to filter that through the lens of my way of looking at the world. which is unusual i guess but not new or unheard of by any means. #by pedestrain everyday standards im weird but by world wide web standards im normie mcnormalguy

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Edit mode button sounds from Project Diva Extend, the second + third to last ones can also be used in the main game.

#vocaloid #project diva #project diva extend #hatsune miku #kagamine rin #kagamine len #the names i've given each of these are just translations/romanizations of the in game names for these sounds #hope i did an okay job #i decided on that over the file names which were stuff like EDIT_34.adx #and i didn't feel like doing emoticons this time. anyway #it's interesting because based on the sound quality miku's are all done in v2 #but rin + len's sound like they got asami shimoda to record some lines #i can't know for sure as i don't know where i could check online so it's just an educated guess #anyway obligatory i don't know if these are extend exclusive nor can i check rn because i have to leave in like 50 minutes #my rips

[gadgetcheat]

so 25ji kaito huh.

#project sekai #vocaloid #KAITO #kagamine len #nightcord at 25:00 #im just as normal about him as everyone else is. which is to say im not normal about him #posts #my art

[waroferas]

i will be honest . being so picky abt characters And being into four swords especially is a nightmare if you are not a fan of vidow

#read the manga. walked away fully seeing them as being related in the sense that theyre diff versions of the same guy + have the same dad #it is not a moral judgement i just get so nervous abt it . i do not ever want it to be associated with My Work and my interpretation #but i know ppl will look at my stuff thru that lens if i dont specify . which would be ridiculous to do every time ToT

[asjjohnson]

Today I decided to test how my new camera does with snow.

honorable mention background snowflakes:

...I don't see much point in adding image descriptions to all of these. They're just close-up photos of snowflakes.

The snowflakes are on the metal railings on either side of my front steps, but it's impossible to tell that from the photos.

Most of these are dendrite snowflakes (the large type with a lot of branches), but there's a few other types of snowflakes in some of the photos. One photo has a small hexagonal snowflake. I don't know it's classification, but it might be a short cylinder (it's two hexagons on top of each other, but the angle and my camera aren't good enough to get the exact details).

The last photo is smaller and blurry. It shows a small, simple six-armed snowflake on top of a large dendrite snowflake.

#asj post #snowflake #photography #macro photography #there's around 80 photos that turned out alright out of 192. Which is really good odds. #My last camera (which I broke last December) didn't have good enough odds to go out for snow photos. The lens wasn't retractable enough. #The camera I had before that was better with snowflakes than that last one and had a retractable lens but it still hadn't gotten 40%. #Though it's possible today is a first-time exception. The good-photo rate could be lower next time. #(I have a better photo of the last flake but the lighting's different and the small snowflake on top is invisible besides its very center.) #(all of these photos are cropped by the way.)

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I've worn the same t-shirt, I haven't washed my hair

But all of that's fine when I don't go outside 'cause lately I'm not fond of the light

And I colored in all of the lenses on my glasses

And stay in bed because it's better when I'm fast asleep

In my dreams, no one believes what they see

- Pink (Freak) by Elliot Lee

#this is easily one of the most self-indulgent screencap pieces I've ever made and I also do not care #pink (freak) has been my definitive nhs since the first time I heard it because the manic-depressive energy is just so real #and I love using it as a lens to examine how nhs remakes himself as well as his image of his relationship both to nmj and to jgy #neither of which (imo) are accurate reflections of reality either in the text or in cql #if I actually had talent I would make a fanvid but I am actually a talentless hack so this is what you all get instead #mdzs #cql #the untamed #mdzs screencap art #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #let him have birds!! 🕊️ #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #nie mingjue