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hollywoodxwhore · 1 year

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wanted - part 12

Woohoo I finally wrote! And I'm leaving y'all on a cliffhanger to make you hate me even more! Sorry... I am currently writing the next chapter though, so hopefully that'll be up shortly. Thanks for sticking around during my little hiatus. I hope you enjoy!

Colson x Original Female Character x Pete

Warnings: some smut (18+), swearing, alcohol usage

It’s my birthday.

Normally, I wake up sad on my birthday. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because a birthday makes you think of who really cares, and you’re expecting messages from people, and when they don’t come, you feel like you don’t matter. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and that freaks me out. Whatever it is, I’m glad that I don’t wake up on this birthday feeling sad.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that Colson is in bed beside me. He’s on his side, hand tucked under his head, and he sleeps soundly. I love the way that the sunlight catches his face, giving him a warm glow. He’s become so special to me so quickly. I’ve never been so happy, and I know you’re not supposed to find happiness solely in a relationship. I think Colson is just enhancing my life. A friend turned partner. It’s perfect.

It hasn’t even been a month since we made it official but I can’t help what I’m feeling. I’m at the edge of the cliff, so close to falling in love with Colson it’s scary. I won’t admit it any time soon, not until he does, but I feel it. How can I not? Colson is kind, funny, caring, and sexy. We get along great and I’m so much happier when I’m with him.

I’m daydreaming about our relationship so deeply that I don’t notice his eyes are open until he says my name. I jump a little and meet his eyes, smiling sheepishly. “Hey,” I whisper.

“Hey,” Colson says with a sleepy grin. “C’mere.” I scoot closer, letting him wrap me in his arms. Warm lips press to my forehead and he gives me a squeeze. “Happy birthday, baby.”

I smile and nuzzle in closer. “Thank you,” I say.

Colson told me last night, two glasses of wine in, that his birthday present was something amazing. I couldn’t get anything else out of him, no matter how hard I tried, and now that I’m remembering it again, I’m eager to find out what it is.

“Hey,” I say, looking up at him. “When do I get my present?”

Colson laughs. “Later tonight. Probably after dinner.” He’s taking me out to dinner and then we’ll spend the night here.

“I guess I’d better get up and start getting ready,” I say.

Colson gives me a kiss, squeezing my ass. “Yeah. You do that.”

Later that night, I drive over to Colson’s place in my birthday outfit, a silky red dress that hugs my curves. Sophie and Alicia helped me pick it out and I feel beautiful in it. I can’t wait to show Colson.

I park in my usual spot in the driveway and let myself into the house. Pete is on the couch and he smiles, hopping to his feet. “Hey! Happy birthday!” he says, wrapping me in a hug. He smells good and his hug is warm. I’ve stopped trying to convince myself that I don’t still feel something for Pete. It’s pointless to keep lying to myself.

Pete pulls back from the hug and turns his head. “Kells! Alex is here!” he calls, then turns back to me. “You look beautiful,” he says, and I’m surprised to see a glimpse of what looks like pain in his deep brown eyes. It makes my heart squeeze in my chest. But there’s something else there, too…mischief?

“Hey,” I say, narrowing my eyes.

Pete stuffs his hands into his pockets and looks at me innocently. “What’s up?”

“Do you know what my birthday present is going to be?”

Pete opens his mouth to say something, but then I catch sight of Colson over Pete’s shoulder and my face lights up with a smile. Colson smiles right back as he saunters over. Pete steps out of the way and Colson cups my face, tipping it up so he can kiss me. “Hi,” he murmurs.

“Hi,” I say through a smile, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Ready to go?” he asks, and I nod. Colson pulls away and turns to Pete. “See you later, brother.”

“See ya. Have fun,” Pete says from where he’s returned to the couch. I shoot what I hope is a menacing look at him over my shoulder as Colson takes my hand and we walk outside. Pete just winks and waves, and fuck if I don’t feel that wink right between my legs.

Colson takes me to my favorite restaurant - Texas Roadhouse, duh - and we order drinks to start, sharing a basket of rolls. He looks so handsome, slightly dressed up. He just got a haircut - long on top and short on the sides, and it really suits him. The sides are his natural, darker color and the top of bleach blonde. “I love your hair, by the way,” I tell him.

Colson chuckles. “So you’ve said. A couple hundred times,” he teases.

I lightly kick his shin beneath the table and giggle. “Leave me alone. I just really like it, okay?”

“I like yours, too,” Colson agrees. “And that dress. Goddamn.” His voice lowers as his eyes dip to my cleavage, and he takes his lip between his teeth as his eyes glaze over.

I blush and look around. “Save it for later, ya perv,” I joke, reaching for his hand. Colson takes my hand in his and leans in to kiss my knuckles, holding eye contact with me. My heart flutters in my chest, and suddenly, I realize I can’t deny another lie I’ve been telling myself. I’m 100% in love with Colson.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, blue eyes burning into mine.

I shrug. “Nothing important,” I lie.

We eat a delicious dinner and talk the entire time. On the drive back to his house, Colson pushes the hem of my dress up and rests his hand on my thigh, thumb stroking gently. Heat shoots between my legs and I bite my lip. I literally can’t get enough of him.

He’s initiated every time, mainly because I’m terrified of rejection, and even though he’s my boyfriend now, I’m still scared it’ll happen. I glance over at him as he drives and he smiles at me. I turn my body and lean over, kissing his neck. Colson tenses up, breath hitching. “What are you doing?” he purrs.

“Nothing,” I murmur into his warm skin, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over the side of his neck. Reaching over, I untuck his shirt from his dress pants and slip my hand beneath his shirt to feel his stomach. Colson curses quietly under his breath and then his hand covers mine and pulls it back.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, tracing my tongue over the double x tattoo behind his ear, a surefire way to make his dick hard. And it does. I watch as his pants begin to tent.

Colson lets out a shaky breath. “I have cake for us at home. Pete’s waiting to have some with us,” he says. “Can we just hold off until after? I don’t really want to walk into my house with a boner.”

“Mm,” I hum against his skin. “Just this once.” I pull back after tucking his shirt back in. He shifts in his seat and adjusts his cock in his pants, letting out a breath. Even in the late evening light, I can see the pink splotches on his cheeks and it makes me smile.

When we pull up to the house, Colson comes to get my door. The inside is completely dark and I frown. “You sure Pete didn’t bail on us?” I ask. “Looks dark in there.”

Colson frowns, too. “He better not have,” he says irritably. “Maybe he fell asleep.” He takes my hand and leads me to the door. He unlocks it and we step into the pitch black. Out of nowhere, the lights flick on, and I jolt, shocked to find that the living room is filled with people.

“Surprise!” they yell in unison, and that’s when I notice the party hats, the balloons, and the sign hanging from the doorway between the kitchen and living room reading ‘Happy Birthday Alex!’.

I laugh and swat Colson’s stomach. “What the hell! You planned this?” I yell over the commotion.

Colson grins down at me and bends to kiss me softly. “Happy birthday, baby.”

I’m immediately bombarded by hugs, and I just can’t believe Colson pulled off a surprise party. A room full of people I love, with the one who planned it all being the one I love most. I smile at him from where Alicia has me in an embrace, and I narrow my eyes. So that’s why he didn’t want to fool around in the car. I’ll get him back later.

I’m handed a drink and then we gather around the table to play waterfall, my favorite drinking game. It’s easy to get fucked up, but it’s so fun that I don’t even mind. Sure enough, after a few rounds, we’re all drunk and rowdy. I’m in Colson’s lap laughing loudly at something Slim said, and I’m so, so happy.

The only problem is my wandering eye.

I can’t help but notice Pete. He sits on the couch, legs in the perfect man-spread position, big, tattooed hand curled around a beer. His cheeks are rosy and his smile is warm and his voice jolts something within me whenever he talks. Plus, he keeps glancing over at me and smirking like an asshole.

But then I feel Colson’s warm hand on my hip, his lips against my shoulder, and I smile, remembering that this is my boyfriend. Sexy, smart, funny, and kind, Colson is mine. So why am I still hung up on Pete?

“Can we play truth or dare but with only dares?” I slur, and the group laughs.

“We pretty much already know everything about each other,” Rook says with a shrug.

“Sure, birthday girl,” Slim says. “You wanna go first?”

“I can never think of good dares,” I pout. “You go first, babe.”

“Alright,” Colson says, looking around the circle. “Rook, I dare you to do a backflip.”

“Wait,” Alicia says. “Can you actually do one?”

Rook laughs. “Yeah, I can. Not sure how well when I’m this drunk, though.” The ceiling is high and Rook backs up away from the group. We all watch in awe as he throws a perfect backflip, landing solidly. Everyone cheers and Rook bows.

The game continues on. We’re all coupled up, but everything always ends up sexual in nature. I return to Colson’s lap after Sophie fulfilled a dare given to her by Logan. She was dared to make out with me and she pulled me right into her lap for the dare. My heart is racing a little and it only quickens when I feel Colson’s erection against my ass.

“That was hot, baby,” he murmurs against my ear.

I hum in response, pleasantly drunk and turned on. I’m about to drag his ass from the room when Sophie speaks.

“Kells, your turn,” she says.

“Alright,” Colson says, scanning the room. His eyes land on Pete. something mischievous flickers in Colson’s eyes. “Pete,” he says. “I dare you to make Alex moan.”

The room falls awkwardly silent. Pete clears his throat, cheeks reddening. “Wh-what?” he asks.

“You heard me,” he says, eyes burning into Pete’s. “Dare’s a dare. She’s the birthday girl, after all.”

“Are you serious?” I ask, looking at Colson, who only nods. His eyes hold no jealousy, just smoldering desire, and he’s gotten even harder against me, if possible. I swallow hard and glance at Pete.

“Shit,” Pete says, then laughs, patting his thighs. “Come here, Alex.”

It’s a good thing we’re all drunk. Colson pushes me off him and I stumble over to Pete, taking his hand as he pulls me into his lap. I glance around, and everyone’s eyes are on me. The guys are smirking and the girls just look intrigued. No one looks worried or scared.

I glance at Colson and he nods, picking up his drink. “Go on, baby,” he tells me.

I swallow hard and look at Pete, who’s staring up at me with dark eyes. Fuck, he looks hot. He bites his lip. “You okay with this?” he asks. I can’t speak right now, so a small nod is my only response. “Good,” he murmurs, and then he’s leaning in, wrapping soft lips around the side of my neck. I swallow hard and close my eyes, hands tightening on his shoulders.

The heavy bass of a loud song pulsates in my body. I could moan now and end this, or I could milk it. I’m too drunk to feel guilty and I choose the latter. I let Pete’s lips explore my neck and chest, moving slowly down my cleavage. My chest heaves slightly and Pete huffs against my heated skin. I’m keeping it together relatively well until he decides to end me.

Suddenly, Pete’s big hands grip my ass hard and he drags his tongue up my cleavage and neck, and a moan slips out, uninhibited. It’s then that I remember our friends are surrounding us, and they celebrate Pete completing his dare. Pete gives my ass a little pat that shouldn’t be as sexy as it is, and I get off his lap, returning to Colson.

My boyfriend smirks and wraps his arm around me, resting his big hand on my thigh. He leans down into my ear. “Did you like that?” he murmurs.

I look up at him, unsure of what to say. Shouldn’t Colson be jealous? He was the one to dare Pete in the first place. I’m confused. “I’ll be right back,” I say. I need to clear my head, get some fresh air. I push off the couch and walk out onto the back porch, feeling sober as soon as the cool air hits my skin. I draw in a deep breath and steady myself on the railing. What the fuck is going on?

Colson asked me to be his girlfriend. I suppose he never said anything specific about being exclusive, but I just figured that’s what we were doing. But now he’s daring his best friend to make me moan. Who does that? I’m not sure how to feel about it, but it’s hard to figure it out because my pussy aches between my thighs. I squeeze them together and let out a little helpless noise, closing my eyes. My throat tightens and the backs of my eyes begin to sting. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.

I don’t turn around when I hear the door whoosh open and shut behind me, but I do notice there are two sets of footsteps. I tense up slightly as Colson steps up beside me, leaning against the railing, but I do look over when Pete takes my other side. I blink in confusion, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What the hell is going on?” I ask helplessly.

Colson and Pete chuckle and I frown, glaring at Colson, whose smile fades immediately. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says, putting a hand to my lower back. “I should’ve talked to you about it first to see if you were okay with it.”

“Why are you okay with it?” I blurt, looking up into his intense blue eyes. “I-I’m your girlfriend. Pete’s your best friend.” I jerk my thumb towards the other man.

Colson chuckles and meets Pete’s eyes over my head before looking back down at me. “Alex,” he says. “I like threesomes. Okay?” My body tenses, and the ache between my legs intensifies. Just then, Pete scoots closer, pushing my hair off my shoulder. I look up at him and he just watches me with his lip between his teeth.

“I like watching my girl get fucked,” Colson continues, cupping my chin so I’ll look at him. “I want to watch you with Pete. And I want him to watch you with me.”

“I want that, too,” Pete says huskily, and I swallow hard, looking over at him again. He plays gently with my hair. “I’ve never stopped being attracted to you, Alex. Just because I don’t really date doesn’t mean I don’t still fuck.”

I stare dumbly at him for a moment before turning back to Colson. “Am I hallucinating this?” I ask. “Is this a trick to see if I’m faithful?”

Colson chuckles and shakes his head. “No, this is real,” he murmurs, “and definitely not a trick. I’ve been paying attention and I think you want this, too.”

He steps closer and grabs one of my hips, turning my body so my back is pressed to his front. His hands slide over my curves and I breathe shallowly as I feel his erection press against me. Pete steps forward, a question in his eyes as his fingertips trace down my neck. I close my eyes and whimper almost painfully. I do want this, so badly it hurts. Is that wrong?

“Here’s what I think we should do,” Colson murmurs in my ear. “Pete and I take you to my room and we fuck you, make you come until you can barely move.” My eyes are locked on Pete’s as Colson speaks, and Pete’s already dark brown eyes seem to blacken.

“But we need to hear that you want this, Alex,” Pete says as he steps into my space. His hands find a space on my waist above Colson’s, and his thumbs graze the undersides of my breasts through my silky dress. My breath hitches.

“Mm, she’s hesitant,” Colson murmurs. “She wants to be a bad girl, but she’s scared.” It should feel degrading, having Colson talk about me right in front of me, but it only makes me ache more. Colson snaps his fingers and I jolt slightly. “Ah,” he says. “Let’s see what her body is saying.”

Pete smirks as Colson’s hand skims up beneath my dress. The red silk moves easily as his fingers move between my legs, skillfully pushing aside the crotch of my panties, which is soaked. Colson lets out a low, raspy groan as his fingers find me dripping wet. “That’s what I thought,” he murmurs. “But I need to hear you say it, Alex.”

I’m a shaken can of Coke ready to explode and I finally do. “Yes!” I blurt, cheeks reddening. “God, yes, I want it, I want both of you, please.” My words come out in a rush of breath and the boys chuckle together, meeting eyes.

“Good girl,” Pete says, tipping my chin up as he leans down to kiss me. My legs weaken and Colson has to hold me up as Pete kisses me thoroughly, slowly at first but deeper as time goes on. I whimper helplessly into his mouth, gripping onto his shoulder with one hand and Colson’s wrist with the other.

“P-please,” I squeak when he pulls back.

“Come on, baby,” Colson murmurs, pulling me towards the door. Pete follows close behind. Everyone’s still partying, pretty drunk now, so the three of us are able to easily sneak past everyone to Colson’s room. Pete locks the door behind us.

Colson sits me on the bed and kneels down in front of me. Warm hands find my thighs, stroking gently, and there’s love in his eyes when he looks up at me. “Hey,” he murmurs. “Are you drunk?”

I shake my head no. “Tipsy, but not drunk.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding. “Alex. Do you want this?”

I swallow hard, glancing at Pete who leans against the wall. I can see his erection through his gray sweats and I have to stifle a moan as I look back at Colson. “Yes, I want this,” I say firmly.

Colson grins and pulls me in for a slow kiss. “If it ever goes too far,” he says against my lips, “you tell us and we’ll stop.”

“Don’t even feel bad about it,” Pete says. “We don’t give a fuck. We’ll stop when you want us to.” They’re both so serious and a huge chunk of my anxiety dissolves. I nod and smile at Colson, and then Pete.

“Boys?” I say.

“Yeah, baby?” Colson asks at the same time Pete says, “Yeah?”

I look between them, then get to my feet. Their eyes are locked on me as I reach behind myself and unzip my dress. Then, I let it slowly puddle onto the floor around my feet, leaving me in a lacy matching set, stockings high up on my thighs.

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ,” Pete says, swallowing hard.

“Yeah,” Colson croaks, staring me down.

I put my hands on my hips and smirk. “Can you please stop being so gentle now and fuck me like you promised?”

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly fanfiction #machine gun kelly smut #mgk #mgk fanfic #mgk fanfiction #mgk smut #colson baker #colson baker fanfic #colson baker fanfiction #colson baker smut #pete davidson #pete davidson fanfic #pete davidson fanfiction #pete davidson smut #pete davidson x mgk #pete davidson x colson baker #pete davidson x machine gun kelly

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frazzledsoul · 15 days

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Okay, it's been a few years, but these are some of the wilder takes/conspiracy theories I heard on the This Is Us subreddit

Milo secretly fathered Mandy Moore's very blonde, very un-Italian children (why? Because their chemistry was hot. Okay, but those kids don't look anything like him).

Chrissy Metz was wearing a fat suit IRL for the last three years of the show so that Kate should up skinny at the end as a "surprise" (obviously not true, but notable because whenever I would tell people to look up recent pictures of Chrissy on her Instagram they would get upset).

Kate is the wife and the mother, and she should always get to make all of the childrearing decisions. Toby is lucky that she lets him have an opinion at all.

Toby was going to force Baby Jack into an eating disorder because he didn't want him to have sugary food at Thanksgiving (I will point out here that Jack as seen in the 2026 timeline at about 7 was quite heavy, although he was much thinner as an preteen/adult).

Madison is going to die in childbirth. Many posters were excited about this (she did not).

Madison's babies will turn out not to be Kevin's (as far as we know, they are definitely Kevin's).

Sophie and Cassidy were going to turn out to have gotten knocked up by Kevin at the same time that Madison was so he could have his "Big Three".

Kevin was going to be engaged to Sophie at the same time Madison was pregnant.

Madison is a loser who needs to get a life if she expected Kevin to parent his kids at all (turns out he was a great dad and they amicably co-parented after their breakup, so no need for this drama).

Jack was going to die in a drunk driving accident in season one (he did not).

Deja was going to murder Beth and/or Annie in the future (No).

Jack and Rebecca will definitely divorce (No).

Beth and Randall will definitely divorce (no, again).

Kate is going to be revealed in the future to have been dead for quite some time (okay, I clung to this for years because they held off on showing Old Kate forever).

Kevin will choose polyamory and marry everyone (sadly no, although I guess he got close enough).

Rebecca is going to BBQ Baby Jack at her anniversary party and the Future Jack sequences will be revealed to be a delusion.

Jack would have refused to take care of Rebecca in her old age.

Rebecca loved Miguel more than Jack and thought he was a better husband.

Rebecca should have reunited with Miguel in the afterlife instead of Jack because he was so much superior to Jack in every way and she always loved him the best.

Rebecca did not reunite with her stillborn triplet in the afterlife and therefore the show has betrayed us.

Rebecca reuniting with Jack in the afterlife is an absolute betrayal of everything the show is about (again, Miguel fans. Guys, he did not hold half as much of a grudge as y'all do).

Jack should have been excused from the final season, because then half of the discarded conspiracy theories would have come true! (Doubtful).

#that sub was a wild ride #this is us #this is us subreddit

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seikatsu-ga-tsuzuku · 4 months

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

This is gonna be very hard to decide but I'll try my best. Gonna stick this under a Read More 'cause this shit boutta be long as hell:

1) Neku Sakuraba from The World Ends With You

He's the main character of the story that changed my life. He was very relatable to me at the time I first consumed TWEWY over a decade ago, and even now I still have a lot in common with him. Neku is very important to me because taught me a lot and impacted me in a way that I feel like I'd be a completely different person had I never encountered TWEWY during those formative years.

2) Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

I don't have some profound reason for Kakashi like I did Neku. But I think he was the very first character I ever became obsessed with or cared about deeper than just liking them because I liked the media they were in. And realistically, what's not to like about him.

(From here onward the accuracy of the list may dwindle because of the sheer amount of media I've consumed. I'll probably forget someone or important or simply be unable to decide, so take who I choose with a pinch of salt, especially in order. I have many faves and I am only certain about Neku and Kakashi's places on this list).

3) Sophie Hatter from Howl's Moving Castle

Because HMC is my favorite Ghibli movie I may be biased, but I always looked up to Sophie due to her strength and capacity to love free of judgments and despite any ugliness, inside or out. She's pretty, kind, brave, and tough, all the things I wanted to grow up to be as a kid when I first saw HMC.

4) Shizuku from Whisper of the Heart

Shizuku is one of my favorites for a more specific and personal reason; because we're both writers. I see in her a lot of myself when I was younger and even now. Having the desire to write something you can be proud of and satisfied with, to the point of being hard on yourself and emotional when you fall short of your own expectations. She's a complicated ball of emotions, but she's got tenacity and a love for whimsy that she puts into her writing. I just find her relatable and lovable.

5) Haruki Nakayama from Given

I just feel a spiritual connection to Haruki. We're kindred spirits, in the way we act, think, view ourselves. How we experience love and the relationship we have to our craft. He really is just like me fr.

6) The Chocobros from FFXV

Nooow I know this is cheating by including all of them, pero like... Do not separate! No but realistically, I can't choose one of them over the other because I love them all for different reasons, but I'd also be remiss to not add any of them to this list. They all had such an impact on my life, brought me joy during a particularly dark time, and their friendship and bond is something I envy and seek to have for myself someday.

7) Kotetsu T. Kaburagi from Tiger & Bunny

Would y'all crucify me if I said he's my favorite superhero across all media? I mean it honestly. Kotetsu is the embodiment of what a hero should be, his attitude, morals, and passion for helping others. He's like the perfect protag to me. He gets bonus points for being a goofy dorky single dad who's tryng his best, and is also hot.

8) Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100

Do I even need to explain this one. Mob taught me so much about being kind and forgiving to not only others but yourself. Not many pieces of media have touched me in a way that MP100 has, and Mob fits into a lot of my favorite protag tropes. He's just a simple, sweet darling boy and he's so cherished and important to me.

9) Yona from Akatsuki no Yona

One of the female protagonists of all time. I love her for many of the same reasons I love Sophie, but she's just 10x more cool. As Spike Spiegel once said, I love a woman who can kick my ass.

10) My OC Seth Manolis

Now I realize this may be cheating but I couldn't decide on the last character, and I'd argue he technically counts according to your criteria, because he's the protag of two novels I wrote myself. I created Seth when I was 14, writing little "journal entries" about his life on Deviantart back in the day to cope with me starting high school, but over the years his story has evolved into something serious and now I'm writing a whole trilogy about him (on the third book now). He's very important to me because writing his story has got me through a lot in my life, and I put so many pieces of myself into him, although not exactly a self-insert. I can go on all day about Seth, but just know he's my special little blorbo who I don't know what I would've done without. (Art is commissioned from @/bumblevip on IG.)

#personal #top 10 list #phew this was a lot to type and think about #ask

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thundergrace · 2 years

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Someone made a comment on something that started "y'all forget Sophie has arrested Ryan multiple times", and that it is important. If that is preventing someone from shipping wildmoore, respect. You can't argue with that or tell people how to feel about that. Resistance is absolutely valid there.

I didn't read the whole comment as I was getting ready but that one part reminded me I wanted to say something about that.

Because I haven't forgotten but more importantly Ryan hasn't forgotten and literally right up until Sophie quit The Crows, Ryan never let her forget what she was complicit in and apart of as a Crow.

"Sophie arrested me so many times she knows my coffee order. The Crows ruined my life for fun!" That shit still hurts. I don't expect it to ever fully go away.

But I think that's why we see so much effort on Sophie's part, far more than Ryan's, to build a relationship. That's why Sophie has been so desperately working so hard hard to gain Ryan's trust. She's working her way up from "Crowphie", which is a hilarious nickname but coming from a fucked up place. It's not just that she wants to be a trusted ally and partner of Batwoman/Ryan (and maybe much more), she's trying to atone.

There is no invalid way to feel about it. But for me I do feel like Sophie has proven herself at this point. If Sophie was still a Crow or became a cop, I'm not sure I'd want her with Ryan. No, actually I'm sure I wouldn't.

Sophie respecting Batwoman and Ryan so much that she started to open her eyes to the idea she may not be on the right side ..... more to the point, that she knows what Batwoman is about and Batwoman (and Ryan, when she thought these were two different people) considered her and the Crows the enemy really lit something inside of her that made her reevaluate her position, is, for them, I think a good start to a romance.

They can't erase the past but I think they've earned a future.

#batwoman #sophie moore #wildmoore #ryan wilder #and especially Ryan #i think it's important that someone she thought was 'always in trouble'#was actually a great fucking person #who was just dealt shitty cards #and was like 'actually you're fucking awful of you think this is justice'#if*

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evermoreparker · 3 years

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Biggest Fan

Synopsis: When you and Tom realize how much your baby daughter loves Frozen, Tom decides to surprise her playing her favorite song, but she doesn't have the reaction he was hoping for.

A/n: Hey!! So I'm super excited to share this fic that started out as me sending a cute video to my incredible friend @kidney9-9 until I asked her if she wanted to write this fic with me. Go check all her work, she's an incredible writer, and I'm so lucky to have such a sweet friend. :) Let us know if you like it!! 💖💖

A/n 2: hi y'all hope you enjoy this colab! it was super fun and amazing, please follow and make sure to read my friend's writing! it's all incredible and so cool! :) thank you for reading!💖💖

It was a quiet evening, just relaxing at home with Tom and Sophie, when you heard the familiar strums of a guitar. It was only a few notes at first until you recognized the song that your husband was playing. It was a sweet song with such sweet memories that made you lull into a thought of the past.

As soon as the soft knock on Elsa's door stopped and Anna started singing, your daughter looked at the TV screen as if it was the sweetest melody she has ever heard and it made Tom's heart melt. The way Sophie's eyes were so focused on the screen made you laugh, it's like she was hypnotized. As soon as the song ended, she went running to you and Tom, telling you two how much she loved that part of the movie and the song.

Over the next few days, you and Tom giggled and chuckled about Sophie’s concentration and seriousness in practicing the song. You even watched her as she tried to make a dance routine, it was so cute and precious. One of the days, she even got into your closet and put an old pair of heels on, saying it was her turn to perform. You and Tom cheered her on as she belted out to her new favorite song, telling her how amazing she was.

Knowing how much your daughter loved that song, Tom learned how to play it on his guitar and how to sing the lyrics for Sophie. Tom practiced for that all week, because who cares if he's got to memorize Spiderman lines for the next movie, he needs to impress his baby daughter first. On Sunday he was finally ready to give your daughter the performance she deserved, but what he didn't expect was how much she hated it.

You started recording once Tom gave you the go-ahead and placed the phone down in a steady position on the table. You sat back quietly as Sophie walked into the room, confused at the sound of the guitar. She was usually at daycare when Tom practiced the song, or asleep. Tom chuckled, feeling excited to show her the song he’s been practicing.

Instead of the original “Elsa?” In the beginning of the song, he replaced it with Sophie, and you giggled a bit, glancing over to her. “Sophie? Do you wanna build a snowman? C’mon let’s go and play!” Tom sang, smiling widely as he watched Sophie unfold what was happening.

She struggled to say something at first, making Tom sure that she enjoyed it but the moment she opened her mouth, he realized he was wrong. “NO! NO! Stop it right now!”

Knowing how self conscious Tom gets about his voice you weren't sure if you should laugh at your 3 year old daughter hating her dad singing and playing for the first time to someone other than you. Before you could say something, Sophie turned to her dad who seemed confused about if he should keep playing, knowing how you two have the same weird sense of humor and this could be another one of his daughter's jokes.

Uncertain of his next movement, Tom went back to just playing his guitar, too scared of his daughter hating his voice. Before he could even touch the first string Sophie snatched the guitar with her little hands, shouting out, ''No more Frozen for you!''

Sophie tried to take her dad's guitar out of his hands, but she realized it's useless to carry something that heavy, instead, she went to her room and searched for the Olaf plush one of her many uncles got her as soon as they heard about her newest obsession. Holding it tight as if it was the real character, she sang to it softly the melody that she loves the most in the world.

Back in the living room, you and Tom stared at each other for a few silent seconds, confused about what Sophie did. “What? I thought she loved that song.” Tom spoke up, a bit dejected and upset. He didn’t understand her reaction at all but he snapped out of his thoughts once he felt you place your hand on his shoulder, after you stopped the video.

“I think she does. Don’t be upset babe. I think she wasn’t expecting that!” You cheered him up, smiling back to him. You didn’t want to laugh in front of him in case that gave him the wrong impression, but you found it adorable that Sophie stopped him that way. You never saw her act that way before, but you could tell she really cared about Frozen.

“Maybe? I’m just confused why she did that.” Tom responded, shrugging back to you. After another moment, you sent him another sweet smile, still finding his song incredible.

“You’re a great singer and guitarist, honey. Maybe she was jealous or something.” You reassured him once more.

Tom still thought that something went wrong with his voice, until you tried to lighten up the mood. ''Did you see how she held the guitar strings to try to stop you from going again?'' You chuckled, and Tom put the guitar aside so that he could put his hands on his face. For a second you were worried that you said something wrong that would make him more upset, but he took his hands off his face. And then you saw that he was trying to hold back his laugh, and that was a sound that you loved to hear. ''I'm just glad she didn't throw something at me''

''C'mon,'' You tried to restrain yourself from laughing, but you ended up joining your husband. ''It wasn't that bad!'' You said while losing your breath from laughing too hard.

''I mean, I'm sure I won't be able to dress up Frozen themed for her birthday next month now.'' He said, understanding that would only make you laugh more. ''Man, I had the dress and everything, even bought the blonde wig on Amazon.'' He pretended to be upset about it, and almost immediately looked at you to see if you were amused.

A few quiet minutes went by before you two heard Sophie’s voice carry through the house. You knitted your eyebrows together, instantly recognizing the tune she was singing and Tom tilted his head to the side as well. “Is that what I think it is?” He mumbled to you as you started to smile more, nodding your head back to his question.

“Let’s go check up on her.” You whispered back, not wanting Sophie to hear you while she sang. You got up from the couch, along with Tom and slowly walked up the stairs, hearing her voice get louder.

“Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Go away, Anna! Okay, bye.” Sophie continued, not noticing you and her dad in the doorway. She was playing with her Olaf plushie, making him dance along to her song.

You glanced back to Tom, chuckling silently as he smiled back over to Sophie, proud she was singing. He understood why she acted that way now; that song was special to her and only her. Maybe she didn’t want to hear her dad sing it and possibly embarrass her.

Tom wrapped his arm around your shoulder, clearing his throat once Sophie stopped singing.

As the newest singer in the family stopped her performance, you two sat on Sophie's bed waiting for her to continue while smiling, encouraging her to keep going. When she went back to her little concert, you smiled at Tom while leaning into whisper, ''Watch and learn how your daughter is not shy at all about singing in front of people.''

He scoffed knowing you were just teasing him. ''Please, we don't count. She has seen you cry, and sing, over Louis Tomlinson's solo on History.''

''Hey! That's low, you know how that song makes me cry, it's their last song, it's their goodb-'' Tom stopped you before you told him again how much that song meant to you and the fans. ''Ok ok I'm sorry babe, I think it's a great solo, I'd cry if I was a fan too.'' He said while putting your head on his shoulder. ''Don't talk shit about my boyband, that's my Frozen.''

Tom laughed at your reference, and turned around seeing his daughter suddenly quiet. She climbs on Tom's lap, while you two hug and congratulate her on her amazing performance. Too caught up on the family hug, you didn’t notice your daughter leaning to whisper in her dad's ear.

''Daddy?''

''Yea my love?'' He hummed back.

''What's shit?'' Tom's eyes widened as he looked at you begging for you to help him. You raised your eyebrows at him and shrugged before leaning over to Sophie.

“Don’t know, I heard him say it first.”

#peter parker fluff #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #dad!tom #tom holland angst

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libarygoldfish · 2 years

Text

Glenya penpal AU 3/3

This is gonna be a super long post, so beware!

I also wrote this like, at March or sth?might not make too much sense

-The question of " how on earth are they going to get 4 train tickets" finally arrived. The risk of having Anya arrested for treason turns a question into a huge fight. Gleb left at dawn after the fight/planned to get them some tickets by sneaking in as a soldier.

*Cue he sings the Neva Flows to Dmitry and makes the conman promise he would PROTECT Anya at any cost before they reunited on the train to Paris*

-The squad goes on with their plan of getting on the train with fake IDs and tickets. As Gleb predicted before he left, there are soldiers checking IDs on the train. A group of soldiers starts to enter every cart for ticket inspections.

-A random soldier eventually entered their cart. The squad watches the man lock the cart as he closes the thin, cheaply-made wooden door.

Vlad stares at the other two with shock as they walk up to the *soldier* with a smirk on their face.

-cue sth like:

"How can you guys NEVER told me this part of the plan?"

"Well, it was CLEARLY Gleb."

"NO, IT WAS ONLY CLEAR TO YOU ANYA"

"Come on Vlad- Just let him have some fun!"

-They arrived at Sophie's place soon after. What awaiting them was not a tricky list of questions but an awkward reunion.

-Sophie opens the door, prepared to meet someone who brought her another so-called princess and grand duchess Anastasia.

The former countess froze for a second when she recognized Vlad, and the young man standing right next to him.

"-Vlad, how did you find him?"

"Him? the guy who traveled with Anastaisa here? What's special about him?"

"I-"

"Sophie?"

"Gleb? Is that you? You- "

"Sophie! "

" Okay, yes. Let's get y'all settled before doing- this."

-(random headcanon for this au)

Sophie remembers Gleb cause he was like the son she never had. Yes, taking care of a teenager for a night is one thing. But helping a young kid settles down as the playmate/ guard of the princess is another thing. She taught him how to speak and understand how the Romanov talks. How to eat properly. How to hide his accent. And even remembering everyone’s name. Normally, Sophie starts to treat this boy who has a strong desire to learn with a little too much care. Up till the day the raid happened, Sophie told him how to escape before she followed Dowager out of the palace.

“Protect the princess Gleb, you are and will be the only one she has left-”

“I will ma’am. I PROMISE I WILL. “

-They settled in at Sophie’s place as she instructed. Well, they have nowhere else to stay before visiting their dear Grandnanapaying their dear Grandnana a visit. The countess is more than just exciting to see people she had missed again. Different from what the squad expected, the Countess is convinced that they brought the real grand duchess to her.

“You are not asking any questions? But I thought-”

“I trust Gleb and his hard work. He had fulfilled his promise when we departed. Why would I not believe him when he brings the princess back to us? ”

“Gleb? What did she mean by that?”

“You did not tell them about what happened to-?”

-And yes the Paris holds the key shopping scene with Sophie bringing all of them to the mall. Gleb still in his grey suit, but a lot more fashionable with his hairstyle and choice of material. And both Dmitry and Gleb gasp out loud when they see Anya in her new gown. They spent way too much time buying new outfits that would help them fit in with this fast phase city.

“How are we ever going to pay you back, ma’am?”

“The greatest gift I received tonight is being able to see you again, son. NOW LET ME BUY YOU AN EXTRA SET OF SUIT-”

“SOPHIE NO.”

-It took Sophie last than a minute to believe that Anya is the duchess they have been searching for. But she warns them the Empress has lost all hope of finding her a couple of years ago. Approaching the Empress directly would only get them banned from ever getting close to her estate. So they need to come up with a plan to let the empress finds them instead. They planned every little factor out, even having a car prepared if the reaction of the Empress is to- arrest them on sight.

-Then the Quartet at the Ballet scene happens. Instead of singing about arresting Anya or not, Gleb sings and thinks about what should he be doing after Anya gets back with her family. Is his job done after Anya reunited with the empress? Is it his place to stay by her side after all these? *cue Gleb being in an existential crisis for a 3-hour Ballet*

-The Empress saw Anya. She recognized her and saw all the resemblance from the young girl she once loved deary. The granddaughter she searched year after year without a trace. Only the imposters, the scammer, and all the con-men trying to collect the price she offers- this is not going to be the night of he getting played again.

- The squad was filled with excitement when Empress approches them. All of them thought their dear grandnana is going to reclaim Anya. But instead of a teary reunion, the Empress tells them to stop scamming an old woman like her. And there’s no way her granddaughter had survived the raid.

Gleb walks up to the Empress right after Dmitry stops her from leaving. She only looks up to him for a moment before her guards try to push them away.

“I bring her back to you, like what you wanted. Why are you not giving her a chance? “

“ Stop fooling yourself, young man. I don’t know where did you find this gullible young woman. But Mr.Vaganov, she is not, and never will be my granddaughter. “

-Anya heard everything her supposed-grandnana said to Gleb. And it- only brings up a wave of question inside her. She has so many questions to ask, alongside a horrible headache being triggered by a strong set of strange feelings. Therefore she practically runs out of the ballroom. Everything happens in a matter of seconds. After exchanging a quick look, they split up to convince both parties to give it a try, again before it’s too late.

-A moment later, Gleb finds Anya sobbing under a table. Covered with a heavy table cloth that made it looks- almost like a small tent. The ex-guard squeezes himself into the tiny space to talk to his confused and upset friend.

Anya soon starts to bombs him with a long chain of questions that he doesn’t have an answer to.

“Who AM I Gleb? Do you really believe I’m a royal? How can you lie to me like that after everything we been through?”

“Because I know you ARE her. And you have always been the princess since- the day we met.”

“The day we met? How can a camping story prove anything?”

“Well, I, left out a lot of detail when I told you that story last time.”

“You w h a t ?”

- Gleb eventually told her the /real/ story of how they met. From how her father shook both him and his father’s hand to the nights they spent watching stars. And the fact they started to exchange letters for a long while till the day she invited him to stay as her guard. He shortened these stories again- but this time he did not leave out anything that’s important for Anya to understand the full picture.

- They spent a couple more moments under the table cloth till Vlad finally found them. He rushes them to get back to Sophie’s place like what they had planned if The Empress refuses to recognize Anya.

*cue Dmitry convinced the empress to at least give try to talk to Anya seriously before making a decision she would regret. And the reprise of Once Upon a December*.

**here’s some aftermaths that might happen in this au**

-Gleb asks Empress to not release any information about finding the lost princess. Since he knows Cheka would not ignore this news/let them pass without trying anything. So the press conference song will be replaced by the final.

- Gleb and Anya travel back to the campsite and watch the stars again.

-They travel back to St.Petersburg to visit Dmitry. The trio later goes on a lot of trips and picnics together.

-Glenya confession later? y e a h definitely will happen if I have the energy to write something about it-

#gleb vaganov #anastasia the musical #glenya #anya romanov #gleb x anya #sorry if it’s a bit messy and long #it was basically a fic that I am too lazy to write #pen pal au #my au

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

Text

all gone, all gone, all gone

part 4: well, no, i don't feel lighter

my crackfic is back, y'all!! and here to break my 3rd-chapter curse, in which every fic i've ever written ever, i've given up after exactly the 3rd chapter. hopefully the amnesia fic and the 5+1 can follow suit. i wanted to post something for thomastair week/alastair appreciation day, and this doesn't fully fit but i have too many WIPs and this was the closest thing. I've written most of part 5, which has some great thomastair action, so maybe i'll try to post that tonight as well

content warnings: suicide attempt, magical manipulation, implications of domestic violence

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | AO3

They will never help you. Not even your sister takes your side, not in many months, years even. Do you think they would take you back now, like this? They preferred you floating dead in the Thames than fighting beside them even before I got my hands on you. They would use you and discard you in seconds. You are nothing to them, you never had been. Do you think your own mother would take you back knowing what you’ve done?

Alastair was clean again, free again. Those were the first words Belial had said to him after giving him a second chance. They repeated in his head now, deep in battle with the people he’d betrayed, the people who would betray him without hesitation. The people he should hold no loyalty towards.

But something else played in his head as well: a memory. He was 11, maybe 12, his sister slightly younger. They were playing hide and seek in the forest beyond Cirenworth. Alastair knew it was because his father was drunk and angry, and his mother had told him to get his sister out of the house. He was worried that she would get hurt attempting to calm him down, but Cordelia wasn’t. She was happy, she was laughing. She had no idea that anything could be wrong. She was elated for her brother to be playing with her. She wanted to run around and pick berries and eat them next to the lake a mile from their house.

He held tightly to the memory, as if it were a street he was sprinting down and if he made a single turn, he would never be able to find it again. It was the last thing he thought of before Belial returned to him, and it was a message he easily understood: this was the reason he was loyal to her, even when she betrayed him.

He had been so focused on his anger, his death wish, all of his own pain and heartbreak that he’d lost sight of what had sustained him all of his years: his sister. He survived on the knowledge that whatever happened to him, whatever abysmal fate was before him, his sister could have better. She deserved better. He could give it to her in whatever way possible.

He’d become distracted in his own pain, and Belial had preyed on that. Now, Alastair understood. It didn’t matter if Belial killed him or if he was sent away to the Basilias to waste away for the rest of his days or if he was stripped of his marks and never allowed to see his family again as long as Cordelia walked away in one piece.

Belial twirled Cortana in the air. “Good thing we have another Carstairs to wield it. Take care of her.” The blade flew into Alastair’s grasp. Cordelia winced and Lucie shrieked, charging towards Belial. They locked each other in a battle of magicks, but she wouldn’t last long, not against a Prince of Hell.

Alastair thought back to that memory, to the sound of her shrieks of laughter, of the flashes of deep, dark red hair between the trees as he chased her. He would rather die a thousand agonizing deaths than hurt her again. His mind told him that it was illogical, but he knew that it was correct. “You always wanted to be a hero, isn’t that what you said?” She looked hurt and confused, but more than anything, terrified. She needed to understand. There was only so much he could do; she needed to believe. “Do you believe you are a merciful hero?”

Realization flickered in her eyes of that memory from many years ago. “I try to be.”

Alastair couldn’t throw a sword and expect it to land safely in Cordelia’s grasp and without any demonic interception, nor did he wish to be within slashing distance of his sister with Belial in his head. Instead, he threw the sword upward.

Cordelia held out her hand and the blade flew into it, just as it had back in Devon. It fit firmly into Cordelia’s grasp just as Lucie collapsed.

“What-” Belial began. Alastair felt himself lifted into the air by an invisible hand around his neck. “-did you do?” Before he could answer, Cordelia started to move forward. The grip around his throat tightened and he couldn’t stop the strangled sound that followed. “Move another inch and I’ll snap his pretty little neck,” he warned. Cordelia froze.

“You should- have killed me-” Alastair choked out. “After Thomas.”

“You tricked me.”

“You wanted me- to give up. Should have known- I’m a talented- actor.” He could feel himself getting lightheaded attempting to speak, sacrificing the little air that he was still able to breathe.

“You think you’re so brilliant-”

“No. You’re- a fool. You- miscalculated.” He heard a shout down the corridor. If Cordelia was still holding Cortana when James arrived, there would be no way for Belial to win. Now was his only chance.

He heard a shriek as he flew through the air, colliding with a brick wall in a sickening crunch. The next thing he knew, he was on the ground. He opened his eyes just in time to watch Belial disintegrate at Cortana’s blade.

The world was blurry, and everything hurt. His body, but also - him. He was free. He was dying, but he was free.

Each breath hurt more and more, and he could taste blood in his mouth. He had at least several broken bones and a concussion, in addition to broken ribs and any internal injuries. He attempted to sit up but the bit of effort made his vision go black. Perhaps more than a concussion.

Suddenly, his sister's face was above him. "Stay with me," she begged. "Please, I need you. Please, hold on. Everything will be okay. We'll get you to the Institute and they will heal you and then we will figure out the rest. Please, I need you. I'm so sorry. I love you. I can't do this without you. Please, hold on, for me."

She should not be apologizing, he thought. I was the one who left her.

He tried. He tried to hold on. He had brief memories of the carriage riding, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Stay with me, she repeated.

I will, he tried to tell her, but no words came.

Then, he saw nothingness. The emptiness with which he was so familiar.

Then, he woke. He was in the infirmary. His whole body ached. He felt his stomach lurch as he remembered all that had happened the past two weeks.

Cordelia was sitting in a daze, not fully asleep, but not fully awake.

"I suppose this whole ordeal means that I am either very hard to kill or very bad at dying," he said weakly, startling her out of her stupor.

She glared at him. "Don't joke about such things! I would smack you were you not injured. I still might yet." She hurried to him and embraced him tightly. His body ached at her pull but he did not comment.

"How long has it been?"

"Three days since the fight."

"Is Lucie okay?"

She nodded. "It took her a bit to recover, but she's alright. There were other injuries, but somehow we all made it out in one piece."

"I'm so sorry, Cordelia," he said quietly.

"Shh, don't start that. It's alright. I just-" Her breath hitched for a moment. "I wish I had been able to see how much pain you were in. I wish I could have helped."

He shook his head. "No, I wouldn't have accepted it." He reached to cup her face in his hand but realized that his wrists were bound to restraints. Of course. He'd worked for Belial. He'd carried out unspeakable deeds for him. He'd kidnapped Thomas, even if he had freed him as well.

"They- they said they had to, that until you woke and they could assess the situation it would be necessary. I-"

"It's okay," he told her. "I understand."

"What are you going to tell them? About how... about what happened with Belial?"

He exhaled. "The truth. I will simply tell them the truth."

* * *

The Consul was apprehensive about allowing Alastair to take the Mortal Sword so soon after waking from his injuries, but he insisted that he would not speak without it. He only wanted to do this once. She reluctantly agreed, bringing the sword to the infirmary, along with the Inquisitor, the head of the Institute, and Sophie Lightwood as witness. He was unsure of how she’d gotten involved, but her presence somehow terrified him and soothed him at the same time. Cordelia was allowed to stay as well, as long as she did not interfere with the questioning.

The Mortal Sword burned through his body, aggravating his many wounds, but he’d felt worse. He answered their questions, explaining how Belial had held him over the Thames, threatening to drop him into the river as he brokered a deal with him. He conveniently left out the part that preceded. He attempted to describe what it was like to be under Belial’s spell, under his curse. He told them that he never wanted to hurt anyone. It was the truth, even under Belial’s influence.

“Thank you, Alastair. We’re almost finished,” Will told him. Alastair was unsure why he was asking the questions, he was sure that was meant to be the task of the Inquisitor, but whatever Will had done to earn the privilege, it seemed like he regretted it now. He was simply too empathetic. “Please allow me to clarify a few details. Belial, using Jesse Blackthorn’s body, pushed you off of Tower Bridge?”

Alastair grimaced, his answer burning in the back of his throat. He had hoped they would overlook this part. “No.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was already over the edge of the bridge.”

“I don’t understand.”

Alastair looked over to Cordelia who seemed ready to jump in on his behalf, though they both knew she was not allowed. “I- I jumped,” he confessed, relief washing over him, though he did not know if it was because of the sword. “I attempted to kill myself, but Belial stopped me.”

The Consul and Will Herondale looked at him in shock. Sophie Lightwood appeared guilty, but he had no idea what for. The Inquisitor was indifferent.

Will attempted to speak, the pain breaking through his eyes, but could not. The Consul stepped in instead. “I see. Is there any other information relevant to this ordeal?”

He was about to respond when Sophie spoke up. “What did Belial tell you about Barbara?” Ah, he realized. That was why she was here. That was why she was guilty.

“Sophie!” the Consul scolded.

“Mrs. Lightwood, that is entirely-” The Inquisitor began, but it was not a question Alastair was opposed to answering.

“Nothing,” he told her. “But I overheard him speaking to Tatiana. He called Barbara’s death his gift to her.”

Sophie’s solemn expression did not hold the surprise of the Consul’s or Will’s. Alastair was merely confirming what she already knew.

The Consul nudged Will forward to take the sword back from Alastair. “I believe we’re finished here. We will discuss the matter and return to you shortly.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as Will put away the Mortal Sword and they left the room, Sophie casting an apologetic glance back at him. The silence stayed between him and Cordelia as they waited. He believed before that if he could skirt around the truth, there was a chance he would walk free, even if he did not deserve it. Now, knowing that they knew the full truth, his stomach twisted at the thought of their decision.

Cordelia looked pale, and he knew she was thinking something similar. “I’m going to go get some water,” she said finally. It wasn’t even a convincing lie.

“Cordelia, what are you doing?”

She didn’t answer as she left the infirmary.

if any of this seems unrealistic, i don't care! i made this mess and i can deus ex machina it if i want to!!!

taglist (ask to be +/-, this is a different taglist than most of my content because of the triggers): @jem-nasium @littlx-songbxrd @fortheloveofthecarstairs @cant-think-of-anything @shadowrunner2000 @writeforjordelia @jurdan-my-beloved

Part 5

#cw suicide #alastair carstairs #thomastair week #tlh #the last hours #cordelia carstairs #all gone fic #fanfic #fanfiction

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blushing-starker · 3 years

Text

Shame doesn't scare me, baby

Apparently, going on hiatus also means writing down what was supposed to be a lil ficlet and not stopping until several hours later. Starker said, Sophie, you're going for one last ride, dammit. I have no other explanation for this.

(Actually, a gif of Tom rolling his eyes helped in the creation of this story, thanks, Tom.)

7,000 words below, every one say thank you tumblr for inventing the keep reading line

Y'all. I don't even know man. This took me quite a few hours, my back hurts, my wrists hurt, but I could not physically stop. I took an hour long break and that was it, I needed to finish this. I'm actually happy how it turned out (guys i wrote more than 7 thousand words in one sitting. Thats the first time in months. Go sophie) Right, so Tony likes being treated badly only when its in a session and the scene has been previously discussed. When i mean bad, I don't mean physically hurt or verbally insulted, don't worry. He likes it when Peter treats him like furniture, basically. Peter's 19. This was way softer than I expected and I'm usually more formal in the notes but I have Not slept or moved in hours, I'm sorry. Hope you guys enjoy. Please reblog if you do.

They don't play this game that often. It's dangerous, in a way. Peter worries, because he's Peter, that it'll get to his head, distort the way he looks at Tony and lead him to a darker path he swore never to touch. (After Tony talked about his past boyfriends, this sweet young man had fallen to his knees and sobbed, arms clutching at his waist the way he had clung to his mother when Howard had wounded him. I'm never hurting you, Tones. I'd rather die than do that to you.)

Tony couldn't care less, really. He has zero doubt in his mind that the dark path Peter fears will be just that: a nightmare that won't become true. He knows Peter B. Parker almost as well as he knows himself; those pale hands, that pure heart, would shatter before inflicting so much as a slap to Tony's wrist. That's exactly why, comforted by this knowledge, he encourages Peter to make him hurt.

---------------

Convincing Peter isn't too hard on the days where the suit's main purpose is to hold him up instead of defending the Earth. It won't be difficult today.

He is weary this evening, bones hollow after he had his own mortality thrown in his face by a pack of board directors crueler than the universe. There were questions now, when will we have an heir, when will we have a new young man to lead the charge? When will the world have someone other than a silly fifty year old to protect it? He had been shamed like a little kid that believed something stupid, treated like he was disposable and unnecessary, a nuisance. Friday tightens the metal armor around him, an attempt at a hug. The built in radio is crooning out 50's music from his childhood.

He's crying before he lands on the ceiling, silently gasping out his sorrow as a figure sprints toward him, red sweater two sizes too big and jeans ripped at the knees. Peter, his mind whispers, Peter, Peter, Peter. Gone is the genius. Broken, tired Tony enters the scene.

Your feet are bare, he says. What a beautiful thing, the human body. Capable of encapsulating a soul as precious as Peter's, capable of letting his baby fly while Tony had to craft a body for flight. The spider didn't give his lover powers, it tapped into what was already there. Peter was meant to soar into the clouds; it didn't matter that he had to run faster than a bullet and leap the height of a skyscraper to achieve it. Looking at the arches of Peter's feet, he knows that the man before him was born to perform wonders.

What he doesn't know is that he's said all this aloud and his baby freezes mid step, chest still, but mind, Tony's sure, working to adapt. Oh. They made it to the bathroom. Where had time gone?

Tony, I'm going to help you into the bath now. It's soft as cotton, the way Peter says his name.

Tony. His father never called him that, Anthony used to drip from his lips like tar and it would drag down his spine until fear settled at the base of his back. His name in his father's mouth meant pain. Tony, though. Tony went alongside the sound of startled laughter, his mom as bright as the sun when he picked her up and spun her around the room. Tony was paired up with a and Jarvis, the elegant namesake of his first AI answering that yes, a table for two had been reserved. He'd made damn sure that the times Tony left another person's mouth, it'd imply joy, love to his mind and not pain.

There's only adoration here, present in the wood paneled bathroom belonging to his lover. Everywhere he looks, there are signs of Peter. The fluffy red and yellow Iron Man towel hanging on the rack. Slippers from Target, ragged with age and slightly torn on the sides, placed neatly by the door. The disgusting jelly that musses up lovely brown locks is right next to the shampoo that smells like Peter (it's not the other way, Friday, no ma'am). Avengers stickers fight stormtroopers on the mirror. Peter adores his bathroom and it shows. Peter adores Tony and it shows.

His tracksuit/actual suit is folded on the counter, edges crisp and nice (Peter worked at Old Navy for some time and old habits die hard). A warm bath sponge is being rubbed all over his scarred body, particular attention brought to his right arm even though the skin there is flawless thanks to Dr Cho and her cradle. Still, the phantom pains are soothed and he can just sink into the bath, head not so full of sorrow. There are rose petals, he's surprised to see, in there with him. A Captain America ducky, too. It's not enough to make him giggle, but he smiles. Turns to look at Peter and he is always, always beautiful, but now he is stunning.

Soap suds cover his arms, the edges of rolled up sleeves are a bit damp, pink dusts a fair face (he went to the beach with Ned today, he remembers now) and a single stray lock of hair tumbles over Peter's forehead. The golden light from the ceiling haloes him and Tony is easily ten seconds away from melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, except that he'd be happy to turn to goo in Peter's hands.

Hey, it's a croak, throat sore and hurting.

Hey, it's a symphony, light and healing and nothing hurts anymore.

Wanna bet Bucky and Sam will buy a hundred of the ducks to fill their bathtub before Steve gets home if I send them a pic? That's more words than he's said all day.

Peter bursts out laughing, shoulders hunched over, eyes squeezed shut, tears slipping down, grin wide and yeah, this is the young man he's going to ask to tear him apart tomorrow afternoon.

--------------

They talk about it, of course, the same way they always do. Establish what Tony wants, what he needs out of this session. Make sure they will both be comfortable with what will happen, discuss how ok it would be to improvise a little. When everything is ironed out and it's clear that Tony is 110% himself, they set the plan in motion, let a team know what to do before they arrive. After all, it wasn't happening there; it wasn't at the Tower because he didn't want it to happen there, not in their home where every inch was a reminder of their life, happy and full of love, together.

They head to the remodeled Stark Inc building in a car, superhero suits reduced to the original red and blue Spidey suit tucked in Peter's backpack and Iron gauntlets, the ones he had on during the fight with Winter so long ago, on Tony's wrists. It helped him dismantle himself, putting away the full suit in favor of wearing the watch and black bracelet. He wasn't Iron Man in these sessions, couldn't be that version of himself the same way Peter wasn't, well, Peter when they did this.

He'd been more than half gone after the fight with Thanos, unconscious in a coma for what felt like a century, but was actually a year. Peter hadn't been told. A choice Pepper took to protect him since nothing could guarantee Tony wouldn't suddenly die, let alone wake up, let alone wake up and still be him.

He'd seen the footage of Peter in the bridge with Beck, had woken up literally five minutes before the final fight and had somehow been able to take back enough control from EDITH to at least have eyes on Peter. He'd watched the video a million times afterward, body confined to a hospital bed in space and unable to do anything except mourn and think. (Like hell Tony was gonna spring his newly revived status on Peter immediately after the fight. No, he deleted the doctored footage Beck had planned to release, ordered EDITH to erase all updates from Beck's team and, on the verge of passing out a second time, told her to be good for Peter. Then he'd passed out.)

Peter had died. Not completely, but he had. His heart kept beating, sure, but he knew the look in those amber eyes. He saw it with Rhodey, with Happy, with Pepper and Sam and Bucky and Clint and most of the time, he saw it in the mirror, too. It was a look that spoke of a somber ache, the loss of a loved one, and because of that loss, the loss of oneself.

War changed Peter, Tony's death altered him. It left him with a hole in his heart, one that wanted to be filled again. For a moment, it was. And then Beck's betrayal obliterated any hope of his heart recovering and something dark slithered in. That look he'd seen in Nat, in Winter, in Steve and definitely in himself. There comes a point where life takes so much of you that you want to fight back, want the world to drip rubies, make sure it thinks twice before hurting your family.

Violence started looking a bit more palatable when you were in that state. All the people who had that look had given in and lost a piece of themselves in the process. Hell, he barely knew the man, but Tony had recognized it, that pain and sorrow and anger, in Zemo's blue eyes in one of their conversations. Peter had also given in.

It hadn't been much, compared to his actions, but it shook Peter. Scared him, the ferocity he'd had, the whirlpool of emotions that led him to the final altercation with Beck. Peter had, to the shock of everyone that had gone through the, well, process Mourn fits, he supposes, (the loss of a loved one and the sorrow that came with it) and not process Rage (the loss of a loved one and the fury and indignation that came with it), snapped Beck's arm like a twig. It happened in a second, just a quick twist of Peter's wrist and it was done. Beck had shrieked like a wounded animal, sound raw and filled with so much pain that Tony had grimaced in sympathy.

It had jostled Peter out of process B and he'd transformed back into the usual version of himself, yelling at EDITH to bring a medic and comforting the whimpering man curled in a ball. He was back to himself, but Tony had seen it and wanted that look all to himself.

Ok, obviously not exactly that look and part of Peter, Jesus. Peter had recoiled after breaking bone, face horrified and shocked at what he'd done and Tony may be a masochist, but he would never push his lover that far, not when it would mean that he, too, would be hurt. No, Tony wants Peter to act, and he can't believe he's thinking this, similar to how Howard Stark and the board of directors treated him. Key word here being similar. They park in front of the building and with one last look and a soft kiss, they begin.

-------

Peter, decked in his oversized high school sweater, jeans, worn out sneakers and school bag, should not have the swagger of a billionaire CEO. Yet here he is, striding into the skyscraper without a care in the world, several steps ahead of Tony and not slowing down at all, shoulders squared, back straight like a ruler.

The crowd of feral lawyers ready to shred any fresh meat into pieces, the one that always loiters in the lobby, quivers, parts for Peter like the sea before Moses and Christ, Tony's already getting hard. He's proud of the way his baby is acting and more than a little humiliated that a teenager who two years ago couldn't stand up straight if it killed him is behaving more confidently than him, the fucking owner of Stark Inc and this building.

He's actually forced to speed walk in order to catch up and his cheeks burn; how do they look, a squirt three inches shorter than him leading the way like he was born to conquer the entire world and a middle aged grey fox following diligently behind, mumbling 'excuse me's while trying not to bump into anyone or trip over a briefcase?

Peter passes the registry desk and does three simple things that make Tony's knees buckle: he turns his head to the secretaries at an inclined angle, gives them a grin so proud, arrogant and dirty that the three young women simultaneously go pink, throats clearing, eyes widening and lips pursing and then he says, in a voice that invites sin to dance beneath the pale moonlight, "Hello, ladies".

It's the same move his father used to do to anything in a skirt; smile and purr. Peter Parker hasn't purred in his goddamn life, but fuck if that isn't close. He's pretty sure the secretaries are suffering through the ordeal of wet underwear just like Tony is.

It's a douche move, no lie about it. It's also hot as fuck and ridiculously distracting. So distracting, in fact, that he does trip over a briefcase. Lands on his ass with a deafening crash that acts like a black hole, obliterating all other noise inferior to it. A pin could be dropped and half the building would hear it. The lawyer whose briefcase he just stumbled over is probably new, but Tony's going to give him ten promotions in a row because he catches up quick.

"Guess a genius like you has more important things than deal with gravity, huh?" it's said with a smile, as if to say, well, of course you tripped, who has time to focus on the floor when they're creating amazing things? By far, one of the best saves in the history of time; 10/10, would recommend. His ego breathes a deep sigh, happy to be alive and well. The rest of the room is just about to imitate his ego and laugh it off when Peter bashes the atmosphere in with a baseball bat.

Peter snorts. Like it's funny. Ironic. So far from the truth that he has to laugh on instinct. Like it's stupid to think that Tony, with wet briefs, red cheeks and a glazed look in his eyes could be thinking of anything over than sex. The elevator dings and his lover walks in, scrolling through his phone with a bored look. He leans against the wall, the picture of arrogance and then the motherfucker yawns.

"Tony." His name drips down from that mouth, two syllables wrapped in a casual command. Like his dog strayed too far from where it was ordered to stay. He's scrambling, a dying man in search of a cure, shoes squeaking against the floor and mouth dry. The elevator door closes, but the burn of a hundred and fifty people staring at him in confusion and shock isn't cooled by the seclusion. Peter sighs dreamily and oh, he can feel even more ashamed, what a nice new discovery.

His lover is ogling at a picture of Steve, dressed in a navy blue suit and showing it off in the classic Captain America pose; fists at his hips, legs apart and chin held high. Peter looks like he wants to cover the blonde in chocolate and lick him clean for hours when Tony. Is. Right. There. If looks could kill, Peter's phone's casket would be on fire and launched into space. It's, he thinks, no, he's Tony Stark, he knows this stuff, it's a saved pic. From the gallery.

Peter Parker, his boyfriend who inspired him to solve time travel, saved a picture of Steve Rogers, the man he sort of envies, on a phone that he, Tony Stark, made for Peter's birthday and he's gawking at it while riding the elevator that Tony designed as they ascend through the building that Tony helped build and that Tony fucking owns.

Oh. Oh, this kid is good at this.

--------------

Once he had explained, through the course of several hours and various cups of tea, that he liked being shamed and humiliated only when he wanted to feel those things, only by people he trusted with his life, Peter had broken down. As in, needed a few minutes to reboot and function. So, he had drawn out that one syllable for an eternity, you like it exclusively when it's in your control; when you give permission to another person to make you feel bad, that's when the bad feels good? Because you chose for it to be both good and bad?

Therapists and world renowned doctors couldn't have said it better. He had said yes and that was that. Peter had dived into the subject; reading books on his way to school, upside down on the ceiling and tablet an inch away from his nose, earphones permanently on while podcasts played, web calls with experts taking up his time on the weekend, notebooks reserved exclusively for the new information always near in case he had to write something done.

Once a month had gone by, and Peter was still in his usual spot with an educational video playing, attention laser focused on the laptop and glasses haphazardly sliding down, Tony had pried his legs open from beneath the table littered with papers, books and post it notes, and sucked him down to the root with no warning.

It was a new record, three minutes and one second. He'd been smug immediately afterward, blood boiling thanks to all the pretty noises he'd managed to wring out of his baby. Peter's face when Tony resurfaced and finally looked up, though. That had him scrambling up, hands hoisting a petite waist (yes, he'd filled in quite a bit, but it was Peter, he'd always be smaller than Tony; besides, Peter blushes when he calls him his petite baby so he could be as thick as Thor and Tony would keep cooing 'such a pretty, petite lover'), teeth sinking into a long neck and legs running to the bedroom.

After Peter gave him what was possibly the best fucking of Anthony Edward Stark's Life, he had mumbled out, "babe, you read one more paper and prove that you love me enough to write a fucking thesis on my kink, and I won't let you out of this bed", between yawns.

"It's already a thousand times better than what my exes did." Cue honest conversation, Peter sobbing and his heart breaking at the sight. It was a long night. He's grateful for all of it, though. For the undeniable proof that Peter cares for him and hadn't once thought of beginning something he had no knowledge of.

He's especially grateful for that month of research now that Peter is walking towards the room the assistants cleaned up because the kid is behaving like a champ and Tony doesn't have to worry the way he used to with abusive past boyfriends.

There are people on this floor, accountants, if he remembers correctly, but they don't blink an eye at him or Peter; just keep going about their lives, talking amongst each other, getting coffee, typing away on calculators and laptops. It soothes him, gets his heart beating at a normal rate. What happened at the lobby is fun and all, and there are those that enjoy the constant danger, but Tony prefers breaks. This atmosphere lets him cool down, settle into a state that won't pose a danger to his heart. Peter picked the perfect place.

His baby turns out of nowhere, heads straight for the kitchen and doubt makes him slow down a tad. It's their first time here, so, obviously, Peter must have looked at the floor plans. That was logical, he would've done the same thing. Thing is, he'd thought, well, ok, get to the floor, go to the room and fall apart, bada bing bada boom, clean up, go home. He hadn't exactly considered the option of Peter greeting the employees and plopping down on the cushioned bench in the kitchen after getting a cup of coffee like he was supposed to, like it was the most reasonable thing to do, like he owned the place.

Tony gapes, jaw on the floor as a guy brings Peter a grilled cheese sandwich and The motherfucking New York Times with a chirpy, "morning, Mr Parker!". He's going to combust, implode like a supernova and Peter just smiles, says his thanks and starts reading the newspaper. Spiderman nibbles on the sandwich, sips his coffee, turns the page.

Clean mouth, sip, nibble, squint, turn. Put on glasses, squint again, grin at the page, bite, drink, adjust glasses, turn. Over and over in a varied order that he lists in his head for all of five fucking minutes before Peter, not once looking at him, spreads his legs. Oh. Oh. Here?

He splutters, gets the side eye from an employee walking by and ok. Ok. Um. Well. It's not in direct view of the elevator, at least. Peter himself would be hard to spot entirely from the cubicles on the opposite, far side of the kitchen. He, on the other hand, would be seen if he gets between Peter's legs. That's not, he's used to a slightly risqué experience if it's a scene, but a blatant exhibiotinist? He doesn't have that in him, too uncomfortable at that level of exposure. Tony could say his word and Peter would jump out of that chair, ready to sweep him away to a safe place and soothe him.

That wouldn't cause any shame. They'd talk it out, be ok, go home and cuddle. But he trusts his lover. Peter wouldn't cause him any harm, humiliate him in a way he knows Tony doesn't like. He trusts the young man and he trusts himself to back out if he's not ok with the situation. One long breath and he walks. Slowly, though, because he doesn't want attention and because he's nervous as fuck. Seven steps gets him in front of Peter. Eight seconds. Roughly six feet. Oh, hey, his lucky number. Lungs stuttering and heart skipping, Tony sinks down between Peter's legs.

Maybe he viewed it wrong, and nobody could see them. It might be that, and anyways, the table and its lil curved bench were low to the ground and most people don't look at the floor so fuck it. The rug is pretty, a warm cream color that reminds him of the coffee Pepper likes. It goes well with the green paint decorating the table and his knees approve of its thickness. Jesus, Tony, just do something other than trying to guess the thread count of a rug. He hesitates, casts one glances around them, and slides his hands up strong thighs.

The denim drags nicely against his fingertips, a sensation that grounds him as he goes in search of his lover's hard on. The sweater Peter has on covers him mid thigh; Tony has to gently fold it out of the way and begin the journey to the jean's zipper. Where he finds nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's not even a dent, not a slight incline on sight and huh. Um. Right. This whole thing is mostly an intense aphrodisiac for Tony, it's Tony's kink, after all. But.

But Peter likes it. Peter has told him that he enjoys it; making Tony happy and acting like an asshole that doesn't give two shits. Not as intensely as he did, though, not at this stage, and that's understandable. Peter tends to get more, ahem, biologically involved later in the session. When there's some semblance of privacy, he can focus his senses and physically enjoy Tony's responses. By now, he'd be a bit hard, a bit discernible through the jeans. Therefore, the present situation is confusing as fuck.

He sucks his lip, squints, rubs at his eyes, counts to ten with them closed and then snaps them open like Peter's dick is a jack-in-the-box and it'll spring up against his mouth when he looks again. Nope, nothing. Tony looks up with a question on the tip of his tongue, registers what he's seeing and the oxygen in the room is sucked up, gone, unavailable, sorry.

Peter's quirking an eyebrow at him, head to the side like he's attempting to figure out what Tony's doing. Because Tony, apparently, isn't supposed to suck him down in broad daylight and be ignored by his boyfriend in a public place with employees still working.

He's distantly aware of the noise he's making, a gargled plea mixed with a shocked gasp, a moan intertwined with what may be a shriek or a wail. What comes out as comprehensible though, is a very choked up "Peter" that's punched out of him. Classifying it as comprehensible is a nice gesture, but he doubts anyone else named Peter would understand what he said.

"Mr Parker, sorry to interrupt, but have you seen a brown puppy around? A really affectionate one? My daughter brought it in her backpack and now it's loose."

Tony jolts, flies five feet up like the time his mom caught him eating a girl out in his dad's office. His knee bangs against the side of the table, and this is it, game over, everybody go home. The pain, sharp as a knife, goes beautifully with the white hot shame curdling in the back of his spine, and he is blind. Hulk could roar in his ears and he still wouldn't hear it; his head is filled with white noise, the world has gone black, every nerve in his body is fucking alight and Christ, he hadn't noticed how hard kneeling for Peter made him. A live wire could zap him right now and he'll spill in his jeans like a teenager, like Peter used to do, sometimes still does and that image is burning his retinas now.

The role reversal, pretty little Peter Parker with a tendency to go off in minutes not even the slightest shade of turned on, 100% disinterested and Tony Stark, infamous playboy, a madman in the sheets, about to cry out because of something so stupid, so menial, so ordinary, so embarrassing and humiliating, is, he's not ashamed to say, the sexiest thing he's ever experienced in fifty years. A hand yanks him down and Tony nuzzles, finds Peter's shoulder and decides, yeah, I'll just die here against this soft sweater. His legs curl up underneath him and he will never leave this couch, how could he?

Peter wraps an arm around him, superhuman strength holding him tight; it's to keep him from sliding down, but Tony knows, deep in his chest, that's it's to comfort him, too. A reminder that Peter's got him, is right here next to him.

"I'll be on the lookout, but I haven't seen any other puppies here." That distinction, I, as in, Tony doesn't count and other, as in, Tony doesn't count because he's also a dog so how could he help and be useful? A whine rises in his throat and he clobbers it. Blind, but slowly regaining his mind, he takes off his bracelet from his left hand (yellow in the stoplight system) and shoves it at Peter. His lover instantly drags him closer, humming a bit off key and low enough that only Tony would notice. It's his mom's favorite song. That's enough to settle his heart for now.

"Ah, thank you, anyway, Mr Parker." Footsteps. A moment and then Peter bends his head, kisses at a warm cheek. The blazing inferno is gone, but residual heat continues to lick at his bones. "I'm ok. Just a few minutes and I'm good to go."

Another kiss. The rustle of the newspaper, the hushed talk and clacking of keys. Breeze from an air conditioner, a hint of lavender to it, the grilled cheese. It slowly washes over him, the reality of the world around him, the truth in it. He is here and here is next to Peter, the real one. (Not the one in his dreams, not the one that accompanied him through death and comforted him with bright light.)

"Eat a bit, yeah? Your throat must be sore and it's around snack time." Tony doesn't like knowing the hour, it fucks him up; the knowledge of how long it's taken him has shaken him in the past, rattled his brain. Like this, all he needs to know is that he has to eat, hydrate.

"You got another sandwich under this hoodie?" Peter snorts and wow, thank God, he doesn't immediately associate it with the lobby; that'd be an interesting response to explain to Pepper.

"I never ate the grilled cheese."

Tony blinks, unfurls from his position and sits straighter to look at his lover. He narrows his eyes, "I saw you eat it. For, like, five minutes." The grin Peter gives him, Peter's grin, not the other one, has no right being that smug or lovely.

"I nibbled at it, but I never ate it completely. I only got the crusts down, see?" He picks it up and yup, Peter ate the crust. Tony hates the crust. Tears gather in his eyes and he smashes his face in Peter's sweater, overwhelmed and giddy.

"You're beautiful."

Peter breathes in sharply, gently cradles Tony. "Oh." It always gets him, how lucky he is to have someone like Peter; how lucky they are to have each other. They sit there for a while, his ear to Peter's heart (even in his dreams, his mind could never conjure up this rhythm, couldn't recreate such a beautiful sound) and Peter's hand at his back.

The soft bread is slowly getting closer to him and Tony lunges, wolfs down half in a second just to nip at long fingers and make Peter startle. He's cussed out and half heartedly shoved, Peter muttering about rich gray foxes while he's busy muffling his snickers and giggles. The cup of coffee is put in his hands and ah, it's water. It has a tiny amount of lemon to wake him up with its tartness, and he loves Peter so much it hurts.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. My feet are a bit stiff, but I'm good. Got half the crossword done. Wanna play?" Peter shows him his work, neat letters stacked on top of each other; at a glance incomprehensible, but a little distance, focus and ta-da, the words of the puzzle were as clear as day. He writes down a new one with the pen that Peter probably magicked out of his hair. "Not really what I meant; oh, look, we got splendid."

Peter gives him a peck on the cheek, surveys the crossword with his tongue sticking out. Peers at Tony when no explanation comes. He clears his throat, face on fucking fire, and mumbles. "You know, oar lick."

Peter Parker, teenage genius, stares at him. Oh, great.

Tony takes a sip of the water, licks surprisingly dry lips, and tries again.

"Four clicks."

Now his lover squints, cocks his head to the side exactly like a befuddled cat named Elizabeth (long story, the feline child of one obscenely tall Brit and his redhead wife; his cat sister, he supposes) and a vein in his forehead is very likely twitching. He clenches his teeth, curls his fists around the blue sweater.

"Floor cinch."

"What?"

Tony snarls, hauls himself onto Peter and hisses, body aflame once more. "Your dick, asshole. Why wasn't it hard?"

Peter crumbles onto himself, hand curled tight around Tony's shirt. His lover has the audacity, has the gall to wheeze, spit flying and tears skidding down. Tony can hear his lungs rattle with every raspy breath of laughter, see the color rise, turn a rose red and feel the strength in Peter's grip. The kid looks like he seriously might die.

"It's not funny, Mr asshat. I thought it broke, or, stop laughing, I mean it, I thought something bad had happened. Will you please, oh, God, I will walk away right now if you don't take a second to breathe."

Tony angrily crosses his arms. He does not pout. No, sir. No skulking or brooding here. Just bristling wrath. Peter kisses his neck, goes to his cheek when Tony attempts to hide his neck in his own shoulder. The kisses are accompanied by giggles, high and sweet. "I am. It is." He doesn't stop the kisses.

Now it's his turn to blink in confusion. He looks at Peter, accepts the one chaste kiss laid on his lips. His father would keel over if he knew how easy Tony melted at the touch of his lover. Good.

"I have no idea what the hell you're - "

"I'm turned on, Tony. "

"... What, right now?"

"Yeah." It's like Tony asked if he loved Iron Man or Star wars.

"But, we haven't. I mean, we've just been sitting?"

"I haven't stopped being turned on?" Like he's the one not making sense.

"Oh, come on. Since when?"

Peter looks at him and he's thinking Peter's thinking an alien stole the real Tony Stark who's a certified genius.

"Since before the elevator. I could smell you, hear your pulse. I thought, I thought you knew."

The elevator. Before the elevator. Oh.

"Oh."

"Is that ok?"

"Yeah, no, I'd just really like to uh, get going with the session. I think I'm good to go, if you are." There is a chance he'll tackle Peter and devour him if they don't continue. There is also a chance he does that anyway in the session. Win-win, really.

Go, Tony.

--------------

The rug here is thicker, more plush and definitely cleaner. Peter toes off his shoes, slumps into the office chair (at the head of the wooden table, he notices) that's most likely ergonomic and takes out the Stark phone. His legs are just under the table so Tony will be blocked by the rest of the chairs and hard to view. They're really doing this. Ok.

The tennis shoes are neatly placed next to Peter's, he sheds his outer layer and, when Peter lazily rolls himself away from the table, ducks under the table. He begins to sit cross legged, glad he chose the stretchier denim, when Peter tsks. A hand settles in his hair and guides him closer to long legs. Once resting on his haunches, the hand curls around his jaw for a second before slipping away. They've never done it like this before, not for the sessions. He can spend hours warming Peter's cock or getting him to come multiple times.

Peter would be lower, chair closer to the ground and at the perfect height where Tony didn't have to maintain a strained position. It was good, always, so he's curious about this new development. He breathes on his hands, warms them up a bit before starting. A ritual that helps center him. Tony inhales slowly. Exhales and begins.

The calves are first. Peter's legs are glorious and Tony's often added more layers of armor on his lower half, concerned in case someone identified a disadvantage and tried to go after it. Even before the serum, Peter had wonderful legs. Now they could just run faster than bullet and kick a car a few miles away, no big deal. He digs his fingers in, drags the tips up and down to help with circulation. That and he knows Peter's extra sensitive when denim rubs against his skin.

He goes up, up and then sweeps down once Peter's breath's sped up. Tony holds back a snicker, focuses on massaging the soles of his lover's feet. He's seen the kid run barefoot on a gravel road and come out unscathed, limbs bare of damage. But looks can be deceiving. Slowly and carefully, he presses down with controlled force. Crack, crack, crack. An old trick from an old friend. Peter sighs in pleasure; a small thing that sends pride curling in his belly. It also kindles the flames a bit; the world's richest man, the guy that could withstand the power of Infinity Stones kneeling at the feet of a teenager that could barely drink before passing out cold. (Well, with Asgardian mead, anyway.)

Hesitatingly, he kisses each toe; they haven't done this either, but the surprised little noise it gets him makes the move worth it. Tony switches over to the other leg and Peter, now able to predict the routine, just keeps scrolling. He can see him if he tilts his head back; the kid doesn't flinch even as he snaps the bones. It's like he's not here.

Done with both feet and calves, Tony happily goes in search of Peter's thighs. His father had told him the story of Alexander the Great when he was a kid. Presumably in an attempt to inspire Tony to do equally wondrous things. And yeah, he'd listen, a part of his family was descended from the Greeks and it was, all in all, an interesting story. Unfortunately for Howard Stark, what had stuck to his head after several decades was the beginning of Alexander and Hephaestion's first meeting. See, what the whole world likes to remember is that only death was able to come close and defeat Alexander.

What Tony remembers, every damn time he so much as catches a glimpse of Peter and his legs, is that Alexander was originally beaten by Hephaestion's thighs. Spin it however you like, direct it the way you like best, it's queer as fuck. They rivaled the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, so yeah, it's not a hetero love story, sorry, dad.

The point is he's been trying to get Nat to teach Peter that weird thigh grip thing so he can help Peter practice and be smothered by the tone thighs he has before him. God, he'd been this close to crying the first time Peter let him fuck those thighs, no lie. They're big, and strong, and capable of crushing his skull, and supple, and soft and so sensitive Peter had blacked out from coming when Tony had spent an hour just touching them and painting red flowers on golden skin with his mouth. Ah, good times.

But he's good now; Peter doesn't like him to spend all his time on his thighs so he behaves. Still. The devil need not tempt when such beauty is before him. Tony flexes his wrists, goes up and down and left and right without moving his actual position, hand only rubbing a small area of Peter's thighs. It's not much on a normal person; it's killer to a superhuman. Bruce had explained it once; the nerves send so many signals to the brain at such high speeds that blood rushes down to the area and the warmth is enough to make a superhuman shut down for a moment or two.

He slides outwards when the table top creaks, hands soothing gently now that he has Peter a bit more alert. Tony presses a kiss against bony knees, nips at them and chuckles at the kick that nearly gets him. Alright, message received. Tongue heavy in his mouth and anticipation killing him, his fingers pull at Peter's belt. And then the door opens.

His heart slams into his ribcage, the air gets stolen from his lungs and Tony is half way sure there is a scream lodged in his throat. Peter looks up, smiles, says "oh, thanks, man. You can just leave it at the end of the table". He's too far gone to notice how Peter has crowded in closer, hiding him; too tense to see that there's no way someone could view the body under the table from the opposite side.

The stranger leaves and Peter's web thwacks onto whatever it is, drags it closer. Ten seconds later Tony glances up; he's eating pizza. Peter is eating, licking grease from his hand and liking posts while the rush of adrenaline hits Tony like a train. Sweat actually drips down his spine, his knees have gone weak, there's a chance his mind has stopped working and he's not really processing here. Peter glances down with something that's nearly, yet not quite annoyance or disdain. It both shames him and sets him on fire.

Lip bitten raw, he yanks at Peter's belt, freezes when he sees the red armor. Enough time passes that his lover begins to bend over in order to check in with him. He's fine. Just. Great.

"Key. please." Peter relaxes, seems a bit sheepish and he doesn't really understand why, this is a brilliant idea, a lovely surprise and he'll buy Peter a cake for this when they're done, definitely, until Peter grasps his hand and brings it to the base of the cockring. It beeps once and falls away into two halves; one half slinks forward and wraps around Ton's finger like a ring. A ring on his left hand. The other half mirrors the action on Peter's own left hand. The kid clears his throat, mumbles out a limp "surprise" that's quieter than a mouse.

See, if you had told Tony that he'd be closer to crying than coming today, he would have pat your back and thank you for the advanced notice because yup, if there was one person capable of simultaneously making his dick and heart go off and explode in a shower of sparks, it was Peter B. Parker. He clutches at Peter's hand, rests his head on a knee. "Baby, I'm not gonna last. Not like this."

He won't; after the lobby, the elevator, the misunderstanding at the kitchen, the knee injury, just, the fucking kitchen as a whole, ok, the unexpected guest, the pizza, the look, worshipping Peter's legs and now this? Tony thought he'd had his fair share of intense sessions, but this takes the cake, the grand prize and his heart. A warm enough breeze is good enough for him; Tony's dying here and Peter's a vampire offering an eternity of goodbad shame alongside gooddefinetelygood love.

His lover slumps, leans on the arm of the chair with a leg propped up, yawns and lowers his gaze like it's the least worthwhile thing he's done all week, like his dick isn't a gorgeous pink and diamond hard inches away from Tony's face . Says "go for it" in a tone of dismissal and he's gone; growling finally, fuck, Tony pulls him in by the thighs, rakes his nails at them through the denim, takes Peter whole and moans at the weight pushing his tongue down. It takes him a significantly less amount of time than three minutes to make Peter break.

He slides the warm ring up a long torso, settles it over a fast heart at the same time his lover's cock goes an inch down his throat and game over. Peter shouts, spine curving in an impossible shape, glasses falling to the floor and hands in Tony's hair. The sound that his baby lets out is pure heaven, something he's going to replay over and over like his favorite album. He gulps down Peter's come, shivers like crazy, sucks hard while moving away and Peter jumps in place, hands replacing hair with the armchairs, breaking them.

Tony moans like he's being payed for it. "Jesus, baby, fuck." With as much grace as a newborn foal, he gets up, slides into place on Peter's lap; Tony whispers sweet nothings, litters chaste kisses all over, fingers tracing inane shapes on a warm nape before oh so carefully tucking Peter away. He pulls the zipper up, does the belt, straightens the sweater. Peter slowly comes back to him, and they're kissing, but it shouldn't even classify as kissing because their lips are barely touching, bodies exchanging air more than anything else.

Tonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytonytony

Peter only stops chanting his name when he really kisses him, tongue licking away any fear or hesitancy.

"Tony, that was so good, so good, fuck. I keep seeing stars every time I close my eyes."

"Don't, my pretty baby, you were perfect, doll, close them then."

Peter's slurring, eyes clearer, but mouth still running on autopilot.

"What about you?"

There's a perfect spot on Peter's neck where he's extra sensitive and he licks at it, kisses it, bites at it until the kid underneath him is keening and a lovely pink hue colors his face. "Hmm?"

Peter sneaks a hand down, cups him through his jeans and they both still. Oh. Well then. Guess he has a new record, too.

"You shouted, nearly broke your back. It was - "

"I broke composure - "

"Perfect because the shame is fucking A, absolutely fantastic, but what drives me crazy regardless of roles, of sessions, of any added aspects, is you, baby. Making you happy, helping you do what you just did is what really gets me going. As seen by the evidence provided in my pants, my turn on is you, Peter. Though I gotta say, the ring was a genius concept. The unexpected guest, too. But I'm a bit wary of that."

Peter blinks once. "That was a robot. I thought it'd be better not to involve another person because it might make you uncomfy, so I brought the robot in. I was sure you'd notice."

He'll deny his heart cracked in two later, but it split like his composure while fucking Peter's thighs.

"God, I love you so much, Peter Benjamin Parker."

---------------------

Cue a ton of soft aftercare. The people working on that floor were all new interns happy to work at the company even if their first job was odd and included not intervening with Mr Parker and a sheepish Mr Stark.

#starker #sophie writes #ironspider #peter x tony #starker fanfiction #tonys not dead #slight beck whump #aloof!peter #embarrassed!tony #so in love it hurts #they love and trust each other #19 year old peter #but he died for those five years tho #implied sambucky and steve are a thing #i really forgot how to tag huh #nff

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gay-otlc · 3 years

Text

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 4)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, descriptions of disturbing images, lmk if I should add something else.

Notes: thon/thons Fitz, ae/aer Biana, ce/cer Livvy, my beloveds

Read on AO3

Fitz Vacker used to like the color teal. Thon wasn't entirely sure why; well, it was just a nice color, what other reasoning did thon need? Regardless, no matter how much thon liked teal, thon was in no way prepared for... that.

Against thons better judgement, thon had listened when thons sistaer Biana insisted they watch this new show, Keepers of the Chaos, with aer, Della, and Della's then-fiancee-now-spouce Livvy. Thon enjoyed the show, sure, but the chaos... the chaos in that show. It had been expected, of course, but not that much. Considering that, Lynn was the character that resonated most with thon, because her attempts to get the keepers under control felt a lot like when Fitz had to deal with Biana, Keefe, and Sophie... and the headache those three gave thon. Especially when Dex came into the mix as well.

Yeah, Lynn resonated with Fitz a lot, and thon sometimes wondered how she dealt with such chaotic spice. Being aroace, that was one problem thon wouldn't have to deal with. But unfortunately, thon still had chaotic friends, and turned to analyses of Lynn's motivations to cope, writing elaborate dumbles essays about the way she tried her best to record the events of the keepers and round them up. Thons other favorites, like Jan and Appie, were also fun to write analyses about, but with considerably less projection.

(There were a few characters thon didn't even have to project Judaism onto, like Sam and Ref, which was a welcome change from usual process.)

But no matter how much chaos Fitz had to deal with on Biana, Sophie, and Keefe's part, at least they hadn't started the Finnapocolypse.

...yet.

Oh, season one, episode nine. The season finale. Fitz had really expected some sort of battle with Pinterest High School, made a compilation of all the foreshadowing, and thon would have much preferred that.

The intro, as always, had been great. Things went downhill quickly. Unaware of the consequences, someone joked that Finn, the elf who found Sophie, was like Dobby saying "You're an elf, Sophia." Then, some horrible monster suggested that they photoshop Finn's trademark teal eyes onto Dobby's face.

It was like an explosion had taken place among the Keepers. Around half the fandom went mad and jumped on the chaos train, editing Finn's teal eyes onto any image they could get their hands on; John Cena, Shannon Messenger, the Mona Lisa, a cracker, and so much more. Many of them even wore sleep masks with teal eyes over their faces, temporarily blinding them, but they considered it worth it. The other half simply watched, with opinions varying from amusement to absolute horror.

Biana found it hilarious. Fitz... slightly less so. It was a love hate relationship with that episode, and really with that whole show.

As though he'd summoned aer, Biana's voice called "Oh Fitzy!" Ae appeared in thons doorway soon after.

"Yeah?" thon said.

"Guess what today is!"

Fitz racked thons brain. "Shit, is it your birthday?"

"No."

"Mom's birthday?"

"Still no."

"Uh... Livvy's birthday?"

"No, though cer birthday is coming up next month, so do keep that in mind."

"It can't be their anniversary, they got married last June and it's January, so..."

"It's January eighteenth!"

"What does that signify?"

"THE FINNAPOCALYPSE!!!" Biana yelled. "It happened January eighteenth in the show, remember?"

"You're a dedicated fan."

"So are you, you just don't like the Finnapocalypse."

"Fair. But you are making a pretty big deal out of this."

"Well..." Fitz sighed as ae continued. "Keefe and I had this idea."

"No."

"You didn't even let me finish!"

"Hell no."

"Check dumbles! And you need to change your profile pic!"

A gnawing feeling of dread grew in thons gut, but thon wanted confirmation, so thon sighed and picked up thons phone, logging onto thons dumbles, @lordofthesnuggles, and went do the dashboard. Everyone's profile picture had Finn's teal eyes edited on. Fitz sighed and logged off.

"Oh, you can't escape just by escaping dumbles! Come downstairs!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Mom made ripplefluffs to lure you out."

"Dammit!" said Fitz. It... it worked. As thon walked into the kitchen, thon questioned thons choices; were ripplefluffs worth this? Livvy had a teal eye sleeping mask on cer face, and handed Biana one. Ae put it over aer eyes. With a sigh, Della handed Fitz a ripplefluff. Thon took a bite and buried thons head in thons hands. "Why are y'all like this," thon groaned.

Biana ignored thon, singing out "We're gonna have teal eyes in the end!"

#shai's writing #tumblr kotlc fandom fandom #keepers of the chaos #kotlc #this one looks short but i like it #hope you enjoyed!!!

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theficplug · 4 years

Text

|Next Lifetime|Erik Killmonger|

previous chapters : Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

erik killmonger x black reader

|part 4|

warnings: um definitely smut this chapter at the end. so 18+ for this chapter! and a possible trigger warning for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcom.

synopsis: reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). This one is a long ass chapter. So, grab you a snack and something to drink! I hope y’all like it.

“You promised on our birthday that you would give me something far more special than the charms you would gift to me. In 2018, you wanted to avenge your birth parents and you went off and did something foolish and when you- when they returned you to me you were-.” you struggle for a bit to find the words to explain it all to him as he takes a step back to gather himself.

He rubs his eyes before grabbing your arms gently and massaging them . He leans down to look you in your eyes before asking “Ma, did you take something before I came to pick you up? You alright? Cause what you saying don’t make no sense at all... Your pupils don't look dilated though.”

“I know how this must sound. Batshit crazy. I know it sounds crazy to me too. I’m still trying to figure out if I’m losing my own damn mind. I don’t know how or why. I just know that you came back to me.” you say to him and he shakes his head.

“Erik. You’re talking about your ex boyfriend...The one that passed... . Alright, I’m going to take you home now... I still don’t understand what’s going on here and I’ve had about all I can take of trying to understand what’s going on here.” N’Jadaka says quietly to you before going around and opening your car door.

The drive was silent as you picked at your nails and let the soft r&b roll over the tension between the two of you.

Your own thoughts were going in about a billion different directions again. It didn’t feel right to just sit on all of that and not say anything at all. As ripped from a science fiction film as it sounded at least he knows.

He was never one to think quietly because you could practically read his thoughts with the changing of expressions across his face.

The relief of seeing your building washed over you as he offered to walk you to your door.

It was bittersweet because there was still so much of him in this different version of him. Even when he was upset with you or livid with whatever ghost that was haunting him back then, he still showed nothing but tenderness to you.

You nod and give him a small smile before following him up the stairs , to your elevator, and finally your door.

“I know that this is a lot. I mean who in their right mind would be able to process all of that.I wish there was any other way to say it... But thank you, I had a really nice time.” your soft words snap him out of staring at your face as if he was trying to piece it all together.

He knew deep down that there was something about you and what happened that weekend while dreaming in colours and other worlds but he couldn’t wrap his head around all of this happening in real life.

You lean up to kiss his cheek and he grabs your shoulders softly. “With all due respect. You seem like a lovely person and a good woman, but I just - this all a lil too weird for me and I don’t think it’s a good idea that we continue seeing each other.”

He kisses your hand and leaves with one look over your shoulder as you call out “Meet me at our spot. If you are still anywhere in there. You’ll know what I mean.”

“What the hell happened ? I didn’t expect you back until tomorrow morning?” Iri says as she settles on the other side of the sofa and patted the spot next to her as you kick off the sandals and lay your head on her lap with tears already prickling your eyes.

“Oh you didn’t? Please don’t tell me you told him about the soulmate reincarnation thing? Sweets, you probably scared the hell out of that man. We needed you to keep that waaay down in the vault.” Tiki adds as she pops the cork off the bottle of wine in her hand and pauses the movie playing on the screen in the background.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do . You’re gonna text him and tell him that you had just gotten your wisdom teeth removed earlier today and the meds had you unexpectedly zooted as fuck. “ Iri suggests and you chuckle softly.

---

Meanwhile at N’Jadaka’s house he was already being pestered by Lina and Penn for some type of details about what happened during the date. Orleans was already in the kitchen cooking and ear hustling but went back to his conversation on the phone with Big Mike when he realized there wasn’t any tea.

“I don’t feel good. I’m finna go lay down. I’ll talk to y’all in the morning”. He says simply to them before trudging his way to his part of the house.

They had been friends since college and just got used to the idea of living together as they did in the dorms so they made it work after graduation.

It helped them save money for when they finally separated and all of their schedules kept them busy so they didn't have time to get sick of each other. They also knew him well enough to know when something was bothering him and to leave him alone when he gets this moody.

"What the fuck?" He whispered under his breath

"What the fuck was all that?" He continues talking to himself as he strips and walks past the bathroom mirror to the shower.

He stops when something catches his eye. He sees a birthmark on his chest that almost resembles the shape of claw marks. He lets his fingers linger over the mark for a second. Thoughts of a panther mask clouded his memories for a moment before he shook his head and entered the shower.

---

A few hours later of talking through it with your girls about possibly seeing a therapist about all that's going on and you were ready for bed.

It didn't take long to drift off, you were ready to put the whole thing behind you.

The familiar setting of purples , pinks, and hues of blue came into focus and you looked around letting the butterflies land on you again.

You walk through the flowers and find Erik sitting by a stream of water weaving some of the flowers together.

"What the hell, E?" You ask as you run over to him and wrap your arms around his neck

He turns to you and smiles big , his dimples on full display before shrugging.

"It ain't perfect but it's the best I could do. They said it's like a do-over or something like that. I get a second chance but as a result of the way I did things the first time it's a lil different. Like when you restore a computer and it lose all it's files and shit. I get a new life but I'm still kinda stuck. I kinda like it though. I don't remember all the other shit when I'm awake. It really is like starting over. Shits crazy to explain when you think about it. But for you , you already know. I'd find you in this life and the next and the one after that. I don’t think I’mma ever fully remember what happened with all of that when i’m awake. I’m cool with it. It ain’t something I’m tryna remember." He says tipping your chin up to look at you and kissing you softly

"I know. At least I get to hold you in the real world. It's just different. But guess what I saw today? I seen that bench that you and me signed all them years back. It's still there." You say to him and he places the lil flower bracelet around your wrist as y'all sit and talk for the rest of the night.

By the time you wake up with the aroma of breakfast wavering throughout the loft you feel a little better about the whole situation with Erik, not Erik.

You opened your phone and sent him an I'm sorry gif with a few extra words inspired by Tina's wisdom tooth lie.

After easing into the kitchen and standing in the doorway you see the two lovebirds dancing around the kitchen singing to each other and laying food on the plates.

"Morning lil sleepy head. Don't forget that I'll still be coming down to the center with you today for the seminar. You hungry?" Iris asks as she places the plate in your hands with a kiss to the top of the head.

"Of course. There's a young girl, Sophie there that I really think would love to talk to you. She's just starting her transition. And her parents are wonderful but they don't really have much money. She hasn't really had the chance to get more “feminine” presenting clothes and she likes makeup. " You say and she nods catching your drift.

"Well it'd brighten anybody's day seeing a beautiful successful trans woman like myself honey. But let's lift her spirits even more. I'm gonna bring some of the makeup I got from pr packages and some of the clothes from this collection. I really hope it helps." She answers and Tika just saunters over to her proclaiming her love for her.

"Alright alright alright. I get it. I'm single as hell." You say laughing softly

---

Two weeks ticked by with radio silence on N'Jadaka's end. After the 4th day when he gave you the cold shoulder at a coffee shop, you decided to stop trying.

Maybe it wasn't fate and maybe you were just believing what you wanted to believe.

You reason with yourself as you walked around the loft making notes about the new housing project you were working on.

Finally having the house to yourself with the lovebirds gone for the day on a little adventure. You got to work budgeting and calling different areas to rent out apartments to you for women and lgbtq+ with housing insecurities.

Your ramblings and thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door , thinking that Iri or Tika left something behind.

"I told you to take your sunscre- Daka?" You question as he stands in front of you

You cross your arms and furrow your brows while waiting for an answer from him.

He stands for a moment like he’s trying to gather all of his thoughts together in a way that makes sense to both of you.

"What're you doing here?" You ask putting your hand on your hip.

He drops his shoulders and lets out a soft sigh before looking at you.

"I didn't wanna believe it. What you said that night cause like how the fuck does something like that happen? I’mma be honest. I wanted to just believe that you were a lil off and leave it at that but something keeps telling me that you right. I can't remember shit before college and all I wanted to do was be with you. From the moment I met you in the store. I was like, this is it. This is what's missing. A piece to a puzzle that's all jumbled up." He admits and you nod slowly before letting him in.

You walk around the kitchen getting a cup of tea for yourself and sitting a cup of coffee down on the counter for him.

“Don’t worry it’s black, I know you dont like it sweet.”

"You know I didn't exactly expect my fiancee that I buried months before to show up at a damn supermarket of all places. This isn't some movie or fanfiction. These kind of things don't happen in real life. Daka you, you had claw marks all over you. The last time I laid eyes on you. And now you're here in front of me. I thought that I was losing my mind." You say and he starts to unbutton his shirt.

"These." He says peeling his shirt off and showing you the birthmarks on his chest and shoulder.

You trace your fingers over it before leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I asked my parents about my childhood and when I passed by my old neighborhood a few days ago andI remembered some things. I remember what happened to my other parents, in pieces. Shit’s brutal." He says dropping his gaze

"It's okay." You whisper to him and wrap your arms around him. You rocked him for a moment letting him let all of those feelings wash over him.

He embraced you for a moment before kissing you tenderly. You tug at his bottom lip before deepening the kiss when he press you against the counter.

"We'll figure it out... Something telling me I'd be a fuckin fool to lose you again." He says quietly against yours lips.

"Are you gonna make love to me or are you going to keep looking at me like that?" You ask as he studies your whole face like he's looking at art.

"A memory. It's you. We stood right here and I kissed you the same way. You were saying something like "you bring yourself home to me"." He says and you nod frantically, holding him closer to you.

"I did. It was right before you left." You admit and he nods before lifting you up onto the counter and kissing you heatedly this time. He kisses down to your breasts before looking up at permission from you to unhook your bra.

Always a man that knows what he's doing. He takes kisses around your breasts and nipples. He takes his time to lick and caress you until he works his way down.

You shake your head yes before moving to slide off your panties but his kisses and his mouth is already beating you to it as he kisses down to your thigh.

He slides your panties off with his teeth and tosses them over his shoulder.

You tilt your head back as you feel him wasting no time massaging over your clit and working you over with his fingers, curling them and stroking you gently.

Your soft moans fill the room when he hooks your leg over his shoulder and begins to suckle your clit softly , swirling his tongue over it.

"Tika will kil- Ooh god. How does your tongue feel like it's vibrating?" You ask and he only chuckles and grips onto your cheeks to bring you closer to him.

He was feasting on and devouring you like he was going to lose again and you could grind your hips down against his tongue and moan his name sweetly.

He didn't stop his tongue or fingers working in you until your legs are shaking and you're gripping at his head.

"You have- fuck. I'm a squir-" you moan his name brokenly while trying to get out your words and lean back for a moment licking his lips before realizing what you're trying to say.

"Hold that for me. I wanna come with you." He says to you and you pout and protest as he removes his fingers. He picks you up off the counter and carries you bridal style asking you which room is yours.

"Left , left." You giggle into his shoulder as he helps you slide your dress off and you unbutton his jeans for him.

You capture him in a kiss for a moment feeling his soft plump lips against yours again for the first time in what feels like forever.

"It's been a long time since I've done all of this. . . Gentle." You say and he runs a calloused finger over your cheek moving a curl away from your face as he looks at you.

He gets a quick flash of a memory of you and him in bed. You wore a smile on your face before telling him "happy anniversary".

He trailed his fingers down your body remembering almost every scar , every moment.

When Erik got to a scar at your side. He chuckled, unlocking a memory of you two running from the neighborhood rottweiler , Smokey.

That old ass dog hated you and he hoisted you over the fence first after being out late one night in high school. The gate had caught your side when you jumped.

Erik felt so bad he brought you food from anywhere you wanted everyday from to school for a month.

He leans down to place open mouthed kisses to it.

He traced over your thighs to the cellulite and stretch marks remembering when you first got them.

He was moving homes at the time and he wasn't ready to be further away from you yet. You two just sat for hours at the park in the grass, talking.

" You know white men behind all of that anyways. They want y'all to feel like you gotta look the same way. That's how they make them billions. My mama had 'em . Yo mama , and generations back. And it ain't ever stop them from being the women they are. Besides if any dirtneck nigga ever try you , just tell me. Imma handle it." He would say as you sat with your head on his lap, staring at the sun setting, knowing good and well your grandparents were gonna ground you for being late when you get home.

They never did though cause you were with Erik they knew you were gonna be alright.

"Nothing to worry about. I… I've never done any of that stuff before…Have you?" you question hesitantly as you stare off.

"Tisha. From Ms. Wilkes class. We was coming from the kick back-"

"Uh uh . That's your business , you ain't gotta tell me all of that." You say slightly upset at the fact that Tisha of all people was his first.

----

"I got you." He says kissing your forehead then your nose before hooking your leg over his hip and easing into you slowly while his lips are still on yours. His eyes never left yours as he cupped your face sweetly like he didn't want to lose you again.

In this moment he gets a glimpse of prom night and how things changed between the both of you forever.

He wraps his hands around your waist. One of his hands splayed across your belly.

He remembers the pregnancy scare you both had afterwards with him holding your hand and telling you no matter what happens he wanna be there for both of you.

Luckily, nothing came of it but you were definitely closer because of it.

You let out an open mouthed gasp at the feeling of being so full of him after so long.

You rest your hands on his neck and shoulder and he bottoms out fully settling into you as he moves his arms next to balance himself.

You close your eyes as he begins to stroke into you trying to set a rhythm for you as his praises for you fall from his lips.

He kisses his way down your neck licking the marks that are already starting to form there.

"My lil baby." He mutters out after licking a freshly formed hickey forming on top of your breasts.

You open your eyes slowly , looking at him and the way he's looking at you .

"It's been way too long since I've heard that from you. You're remembering?" You ask quietly as you let out a soft moan.

N'Jadaka's muscles flex and tighten as he picks up his pace. His abs clenched as he pulls out almost completely and filled you at a different angle.

The sounds of your moans filling the room with every stride and stroke of his hips, it seems like you're closer to floating in space. The man was fucking you like his life depended on it and at this point all you could do is wrap your arms around him again to comfort you as he shutters and rolls his hips deeper into you. Your walls tighten around him as you relish in the feeling of him.

"Fuck. I remember all of it." He says half chuckling at the way it's coming to him and half nearly in tears cause he really missed being with you.

"I also remember that this is your favourite position cause you like to see my face." He teases before leaning down to kiss you again with them plump ass lips.

"E?" You ask , grabbing his face with trembling hands.

"Baby?" You ask again

He moves his hands from your waist and places your hands in his. Then moving them above your head as he flashes in between making love to you for the last time and now.

You roll over with him and place your hands on your chest riding him slowly getting the rhythm as he strokes into you from below.

He laughs softly when he realizes what you're doing.

"Are you spelling my fucking name , baby?" He asks and you tell him that you can spell both.

You let out a whimper when he brushes your spot and let him take over as he runs his hands over your thighs to your butt and over your back as he strokes into you.

He plants his feet on the bed and work your hips in rhythm with him.

It didn't take long for you to orgasm with a loud shriek of his name . You had forgotten how he gets when he's close as his hands on gripping all over your thighs and your back. You were already feeling sensitive with your second orgasm coming through and this man felt like he was trying to put it in your belly.

He rolls you onto your side giving it to you deeply.

With a loud hiss and panting from him he cums , holding you in his arms.

"I don't think it has felt like that since our birthday last year." He says into your ear as he pulls you closer into his arms.

He engulfs you fully in his embrace and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

You laugh softly and roll over to face him , resting your forehead against his.

"I remember. You took me to Paris. I had never been and at the time I was obsessed with everything Parisian. We fucked on the balcony and somehow I ended up popping the straps to my favorite dress. You still owe me by the way." You tease and he shakes his head laughing.

"I think we ended up saving they marriage from across the way though. They was arguing the whole time. Then they gon watch us like we ain't see them." Erik says laughing as he squeezes your thigh playfully.

"I know they was trying some things." You joke

"I missed you so much. You don't even understand." You admit with a somehow saddened and relieved expression.

"I know. I want to start over this time. All of that Erik Killmonger shit is over with. I wanna keep the name N'Jadaka and just start over. All of that was too heavy on me to carry. I wanna let it all go. I wanna do it right with you." He explains

"Good because if you put me through that again. Wakanda will be the least of your damn worries." You say to him and he nods giving you his word, sealed with a kiss.

"It'll be alright. Everything happens for a reason. And I think that right now a bath needs to happen and I'm gonna need you to do that thing again that you did in the kitchen cause I'm tryna figure out when you learned that-"

At some point after the bubble bath/ shower combo you were both out like a light until Iri and Tika decide to come busting in like they usually do with little gifts and food for you.

"Guess who's your fave- SHE GOT A WHOLEASS MAN IN HER BED" Iri announces to Tika before your pillow hits the door as she closes it.

"Sorry about that. This is kinda our cuddle hour so they're used to just coming on in." You say sleepily and he just laughs it off while holding you closer.

"It's all good. I remember that I ain't know them much before but when we did spend time with them, they were good people." He says, still trying to piece it together.

----

You fell asleep more peacefully than you had in a long time. Now granted, good sex didn't fix the many layers of issues and mysticism surrounding everything.

But for now, you knew that you had him, you had your girls, family and your business. Everything felt alright again.

Right up until the point of sleeping through the first alarm to meet the property owners.

"Bae. Bae your phone going off." N'Jadaka whispers in the dark room , voice still riddled with sleep and grogginess.

"Shit. Shit. I'm gonna be so late." You call out , quickly jumping out of bed and stumbling around the room.

It takes you about 25 minutes to speed through getting dressed in your best skirt suit.

N'Jadaka sits on the end of the bed putting on his shoes and watching you shuffle around.

He had offered to drive you there and stay with you and check out the property with you.

He slows you down by grabbing you by your arms gently and placing a kiss to your lips.

"Good morning, handsome. Let's go"

You walk through the living room with Iri and Tika already posted up in the kitchen placing two breakfast burritos in a container to grab and go.

You grab your things from the counter all while thanking them and jetting towards the door.

"Good luck pooh!" Tika calls after you.

"Byyyyeeee Dakaaaa" they call out after him

---

"Here it is . These are the apartments. I know they don't look like much now from the outside. But from the pictures it looks great. And they'll be safe and comfortable here-" you babble on to N'Jadaka while you both stand outside of the building where Erik grew up , until you notice two women walking to a car that clearly wasn't from this area.

You notice Shuri and your breath hitches in your throat.

Frozen in your anxiety, the seconds ticked by and it was too late to leave. She looked you dead in the eye and then at N'Jadaka like she had seen a ghost.

She gasped and Nakia followed the eyes before back into the car.

"SHURI WAIT - PLEASE" you yell out to them but the car was already speeding away.

tag list : @doublesidedscoobysnacks @chaneajoyyy @mirandkimy @doitforthevine67 @amyhennessyhouse @dasia21 @depressionandfandomsinc @sinfully-dope @ambitionwood @heybriheyyy @wholelotta-melanin @theesotericqueen @mbakuwife @spookys-girl @teardropzih @bigchoose @ceo-of-baby @sweetpeachjones @lost-ssoull @shyblackgurl @justpeachee @nijajoha @imayhavemisunderstood @beautifullmelodyxx @alookintohersoul @rbhp @champagnesugamama @just-peachee @almeda-344 @mahogany2021

#black panther #erik killmonger #black panther smut #erik killmonger smut #Erik killmonger x Reader #fanfic for black girls

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smallblueandloud · 3 years

Text

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #redemption spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches leverage #levred #this is so much longer than i thought it was gonna be #i shouldn't be surprised but ughhhh i'm so tired

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sugarcoats-and-heartbeats · 4 years

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I finished Return of The Thief!!!

Non-spoilery comments:

1. IT WAS SO GOOD! ARGHASLDFJ 2. If you’re anxious, don’t be. Trust MWT.

Now, for all the wild screaming into the void, because I need to get all these irrational, overwhelming feelings out before I hop on over at Sounis LJ and pretend to be smart.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS!

My “live-blog” notes:

- "So, so, so" is out. "Miras' golden balls" is in. - He has all the fighting spirit of an apricot... Like riding a slowly moving sofa - LOL, though I do admit, I find it ironic that Irene would give Gen a horse as a gift, when she's worried of a fall and her own brother died of a fall from horseback - Gen's apartments were Irene's brothers' - two Cleons! two Ions! - why is Attolian!Ion doing back with Gen? Didn't he go with Sophos? - princess Bythesea? LIke, "by the sea"? - SCARY GEN. SCARY GEN EVERYWHERE. SOPHOS! THE PENT! - okay let's back it up here - Sophos throwing water on Gen - GEN CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW!!! - ATTOLIA LAUGHING ABOUT IT ZOMG - A;LDFJA;SLDFJAS;LDJK THE PENT AND ATTOLIA AND EUGENIDES AND ALSDFJA;SLDFJKA;LSDFKJ ARRGGGHHHH THAT WAS PRECIOUS BUT ALSO MADDENING - like, here i was, thinking it's Gen who's in danger of getting snatched by a mistress; i was NOT expecting it the other way around - also, every passage i'm either "omg, gen's gonna die" or "nah, he'll be fine." it's so scary whenever pheris talks about the "nowadays" rather than telling the narrative - OMG AND THEN... AND THEN!!! RIGHT AFTER THE PENT SCENE... OMGGGGG THEY JUST DID IT IN THAT ROOM HUH - what is up with all these horrid ambassadors from everywhere?? (Except for the Braels. That one is a keeper)

- Ohh look Irene is doing needlework! Finally! A book where needlework isn't mocked. - Gen doing a somersault from Fryst! - Costissssss!!!!! - oh no! I forgot what Costis's arrival meant - aww, that kindly stable master. bless him! - Genny!!??? GENNY??!!!! I shall now call all my children with a Y at the end. Ireny! Heleny! Bunny can remain the same (though Sophy sounds cute too) - Kamet! - Yessss, Relius! Is back in action!! Also described as "very handsome" so it looks like Costis has competition here - tortured by the *king*?? Wasn't it Attolia who tortured Relius? - lol apparently nobody's ages are going to be revealed - "some unknown sailor fired without orders" something tells me this was planted - Teleus and Relius bro-time. yes i approve - whoa I see an elephant in the drawing!! - okay, was it ever mentioned that Eddisians have tattoos?? Or is this like the first time that was mentioned and everyone is as shocked as me??? - guys, imagine, the MoW. Tattoos!! - okay, so clearly Relius is a playboy?? and i never caught the hint?? - Helen and Irene girl talk, yessss - Fordad's nice. I hope he's not secretly a bad guy - OH NO OH NO Gen resigned!!! What will Irene do? She cannot rule alone again! - omg Gen is such a rebel. I feel for this poor boy. Let me hug him. Let his queen hug him. Somebody hug him! - OMG OMG OMG they're gonna go to Gen's bedroom in Eddis' library, right??? That tumblr post was right! - wooot oh man, Susa turned! whoaaaaa. Gen is so powerful. I am at AWE - asdfasdf neck kisses, hold me, i'm dying - w-w-wait.... so is Susa and Erondites still plotting together though?? Susa, you little snake, I had believed you! - no, Costis is leaving already??

- Costis and the whole comment about "his heart" isn't in his work XD. Though -- guys -- I'm gonna confess, ten years of manning my tiny crack-boat of Costistogiton, I'm a little heartbroken to know they've no hope - Teleus and Relius... Teleus and Relius???? THIS IS CANON GUYS??? But Relius is a playboy??? How does Teleus handle that??? ship name? telrel? leuslius? - Lol, the magus being sassy to his king - ohhhh all these glorious tidbits we're learning about the Eddisian royalty. Helen's mother had an affair with Gen's father? I would not have expected it of the MoW!!! He seemed too straitlaced and in love with his Thief wife - oh. no. eugenides robbed eugenides. i would have NEVER - STENIDESSSSS!!!! - Gen channeling some Edward Elric energy there about his height, huh? Never thought he was bothered by it - what happened to Gen's stomach illness? Is it now gone because the sand in his food is gone? - "Hilarion knew a disaster when he saw one looming right in front of him." OMGGG this is throwback to that Philo comment in KoA - poor Legarus, now the shining example of a man who did poorly in love - OH MY GOD! Teleus was the one who copied the poem for Relius??? - OH. MY. GOD. Irene is pregnant again. - asdlfjalsdkfj "I didn't become inappropriate on my own!" al;sdjfk these babies. - NO. NOOOO GEN DON'T GO AFTER NAHUSERESH!! - NOOOOO STENIDES NOOOOO We never even met you! (except for that one short story) - Hilarion noooooo - oh nooo Gen being tortured AGAIN noooo how much more can this poor boy handle?

- yess Gen the Thief again!! - Eugenides Eugenideides??? - Philoo nooooo! To think he might still be alive if he *had* fought in the battle instead of accompanying Gen to the trap. I am sore about this, ok? SORE - At least my boy Aris is still alive - nooo Fordad, how could you. I rooted for you - Irene crying. My baby - At least Petrus and Galen have finally teamed up - RELIUS NOOOOOOOO. I HATE FORDAD SO MUCH. SO MUCH - no no no I refuse to believe it. Relius is ALIVE hiding REALLY WELL. Shame on him for breaking poor Teleus's and Pheris's hearts - omg Sejanus. All the Pherises. Their poor dear mother, having to be married to the nasty old Erondites - you go, random horseman who took Pheris on your lap!! *I* say you survived the battle; you and Pheris just never crossed paths again - Noo MoW... =( - oh noo, Sejanus. =( All these people I'm mourning when I had hated them before. Though to be fair, Sejanus was really sympathetic at the end of KoA already - HEEECTTTOOORRR????? - LOL omgggg, Baron Anacritus dancing with his lover right after his wife??? the Nerve! - YESSSS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RELIUS?? Yeeaaaaaah!! Now he can go back to Teleus and Pheris, and dote on the prince and princess! - wait, where my boy ARIS at??? Please tell me he and Costis are still 2 peas in a pod!!! - ohhohhooh awwww that lovely short story!!! Irene was descended from a goddess too? Aww. And I suspected Alyta is also the water goddess from QoA. - I can't believe it. It's DONE. It was SO GOOD. I would be cherishing this last book for decades, y'all. It was SO GOOD.

#queen's thief #return of the thief #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers #spoilers #DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

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royaltyspeaking · 4 years

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Royaltyspeaking's Top 10 Least Favorite Royal Wedding Gowns

No one asked me but whatever. Here are my least favorite gowns:

#10- Princess Sofia of Sweden

Okay so I debated even putting this one on the list because I don't hate it nor do I think it's a terrible dress, I just think it's disappointing. The dress doesn't seem like something you wear to marry a prince nor does it seem to suit Sofias style. I don't like the neckline or the clumsy, cheap looking lace. I also can't stand the vertical panels of lace on the skirt. I also think the skirt needs a lot more volume.

#9- Zara Tindall

Zara looked amazing from the neck up. But this dress just doesn't work. It's a bit dated and the bodice and dropped waist are unflattering. I also really dislike the sleeves. I also don't think this dress suits Zaras style at all.

#8- Charlotte Casiraghi

I love everything about this from armpits up, but the rest...ugh. I remember when the photos of her wedding were first released and this picture loaded on my phone so I couldn't scroll past her armpits and I was so excited to see the rest because it looked stunning. Then it loaded and here we are. The main dress, the sleeves, and the top part all look like they belong to three different gowns. I'm not gonna lie, I definitely thought she was pregnant again too. The fact that this is Giambattista Valli makes it even worse, I expected better from him.

#7- Princess Tatiana of Greece and Denmark

Too. Much. Lace. Also, none of the elements of this dress work together, it looks like the bolero and veil were last minute additions, and a lot of pictures it looks like the train was barely attached to the dress. This gown is also super disappointing because Tatiana is consistently among the best dressed at royal events.

#6- Princess Nathalie of Sayn- Wittgenstein- Berleburg

I absolutely hate the top of this gown. Is it lace? Is it crochet? Also why is it yellowish? If the whites matched I think it would be decent enough but the color difference doesn't work.

#5- The Countess of Wessex

This dress is very buisness formal, isn't it? I guess I can't say that it's not true to Sophie's past style before she got her shit together. Honestly theres nothing about this that I like, from the gown to the sad veil to the jewelry that doesn't work with the dress at all.

#4- Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother

I feel like y'all are sleeping on this one. It's dowdy and unflattering. It's hard to believe that Elizabeth was marrying a prince, this whole look wasn't the least bit special.

#3- Princess Sophie of Prussia

There's nothing I hate more on a wedding dress than a fucking collar. Especially combined with a jacket that doesn't even go with the gown itself. As for the rest of the dress...it looks like it went through a shredder and I hate all of it.

#2- Crown Princess Mary of Denmark

This one is another massive disappointment. Between the pleats, the too stiff fabric, the unflattering neckline, and the train that looked like it had been added on at the last minute, it's all a miss. On top of that, it just looks unfinished. I saw someone else say that you could probably find pins still in the dress on the day of the wedding and I think they are right. Mary's hair was atrocious too. I really wonder what she would choose if she married Frederick again tomorrow because surely it wouldn't be this.

#1- Princess Mabel of Orange Nassau

Do I even need to explain why this is my number 1 choice? The worst part is that if it weren't for those bows, this would actually be a fantastic gown. The shape and cut are both great, but the bows ruin the whole thing.

#royal wedding #royal wedding dress #top 10

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forever-yoongis · 4 years

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My Chemistry Of Love

Ships: Yoongi x reader, Namjoon x reader, Jungkook x reader.

Genre: Fluff and angst.

This takes place BEFORE Sophie breaks up with Namjoon :(. Y'all will get a better idea when I make a masterlist of all my fics.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Well ain't this just fUn? ", Namjoon grumbles underneath his breath and Sophie giggles at that. " Well you KNEW this would happen right? What's the point in complaining now?" She pats his head lightly.

So basically, everyone in BTS apparently wanted to know the girl for whom their leader was just so whipped, and it pretty much ended in an invasion of poor Sophie's house one random evening which otherwise would've been spent peacefully with Ann and Exci. It was a day off for everyone.

"Jeez but I never expected this", Namjoon raises his voice slightly, casting a glare at the younger members, especially Jungkook and Taehyung who were currently ravaging the flat, blasting music and screaming " Why's this place so small? Sophie how do you fit??! "

"That is actually very rude", J-Hope interjects, flashing a huge grin and starts dancing to the music when he hits against the coffee table and flips it over. " Oof gukkie, I guess you're right," He says sheepishly rubbing his forehead.

"Could you guys like, stop insulting my girlfriend like that? " Namjoon groans. "I didn't ask y'all to come. " "So you're basically kicking us out hyung? " Jimin flashes his puppy sad eyes at the leader who sighs.

"Well at least my baby is not bothering anyone~" Ann cooes from the corner of the room where she sat in front a couch where Min Yoongi lay, well, sleeping and occasionally murmuring gibberish of having lamb skewers with her at 2am. Sophie laughs and replies, "don't worry, Exci's gon clean this all up after you leave".

"HEYY that's just wrong! ", Exci protests vehemently from the floor where she sat with her legs crossed observing the maknaes. " I won't be doing ANYTHING at all. This losers will clean up after themselves, I'll make sure of that", she points at Jungkook who was currently stuffing his mouth with some snacks he came across in the kitchen. "Whawt-mm-di-mm-I-do? " Jungkook speaks while chewing spilling food from his mouth at which Jin screams, "STOP THAT THIS VERY INSTANT. THIS IS NOT HOW I RAISED YOU". " Oof-momma, no need to get that triggered", Tae pats his hyung's back grinning.

"Well guys how bout we do something constructive instead? " Jungkook flips up his head at that. "You mean Overwatch? Sophie do you have Overwatch??" "Kook, don't interrupt me while--"

"Yeah I think I do", Sophie smiles at the maknae who flashes her a wide smile. " Excellent you're the best", and he jumped on the sofa waking up Yoongi in the process who started cursing at the younger member. Jungkook shuts up immediately and looks sheepishly at the annoyed hyung who was probably going to potentially murder him for interrupting his nap. But before things took a turn for the worse, Ann interrupts, "Yoongs how bout you keep your head in my lap and sleep? ",she says smiling at him. He gives one last glare at the maknae and slips off the couch laying his head on her lap, curled on the floor. ;-;

"Aw before things start getting cheesy here, let's do this game", Taehyung jumps on the sofa next to Jungkook and then looks at Exci who was sitting by herself on the floor. " You wanna join? " He wiggles his eyebrows excitedly at which she murmurs, "don't make it sound so weird, I'm coming", and makes her way slowly to the sofa.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*Time skip an hour or two*

"Well isn't it just unfair that you three (or five staring at Ann in the corner who was contentedly threading her fingers through her boyfriend's hair as he slept) get to have all the fun? " Sophie complains as Jungkook once again screams, "YES I WIN" for probably the tenth time that day, or hundred, it doesn't really matter. But he ignores her blatantly and keeps on playing. Sophie sighs and looks at Namjoon who shrugs. "Can't we all do something together? " She suggests, at which Exci and Tae looks up. "Like? "

"Idk truth or dare? Situations? Memories? Anything really", Sophie murmurs and closes her eyes resting her back against Namjoon's chest who presses her kiss to her cheek.

"Well I'm up for it", Exci says and slips off the sofa. Taehyung starts stroking his chin, pretending to be in deep thought. " I think I might likey this idea too. Plus, this has gotten boring, Jungkook wins every time", and he throws the game control on the sofa and joins Exci. Jungkook complains loudly, "hey that's not fair you two. You all are just unworthy, accept it!" But seeing that he has no option, he joins the group on the floor, sitting cross- legged. "Ann would you joi-" Sophie begins, and then she notices that even Ann had fallen asleep resting her head on the lower part of the sofa.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After almost an hour of truth and dare of an extremely violent kind, coz Jin kept slapping Jimin whenever he came up with a lewd dare which ranged from "asking Sophie to make out with Namjoon to asking Hobi to lick Jin's face (which gained him an extra few glares of course)"... Taehyung decided that it was time to spice things up a lil bit. Which ofc wasn't exactly a brilliant idea. Or maybe it was. Who knows?

"I dare you", stretching out his words as he pointed a finger at Exci who raised her eyebrow skeptically, " to sit on Jungkook's lap", and he pointed his other hand towards Jungkook, then immediately burst into a fit of giggles. Exci burnt a deep red with anger and so did Jungkook, who was more shy than mad. Realising the imminent danger to Taehyung's life for if looks could kill, he would have burnt into a crisp by now, the BTS leader stepped in. "Okay guys, break! Break! We need a break". Waving his hands clumsily, "lets do something else, yeah?" --- his eyes flitting back and forth between Tae and Sophie, silently trying to gain her support. "Yeah of course..." she mumbled, then clearing her throat, "am I right Ann?" Blushing a deep red when she remembered that she was actually asleep, she stuttered, "I-I meant Exci, yeah".

"We could play our old game of making situations".

Heads snapped towards the direction the voice came from, and Sophie's eyes widened as she saw a very smug-looking Ann staring back with a lazy smirk on her face, her hands threading through Yoongi's hands who was still sleeping very soundly, letting out smol snores now and thenxD.

"What?" She raised her eyebrows, "isn't that an excellent idea? I thought you two would be applauding me by now".

"A-are you sure? Uhh..." Sophie got taken in by surprise at the sudden suggestion by her friend. "What's this game all about anyways", spoke up a curious Jimin who was always ready to jump at any juicy proposal brought up. "The rules are simple really", Ann stated twirling a strand of Yoongi's hair about her finger. "Ann--", Exci warned but like always, Ann would ignore her every warning completely. I mean, who gives up a chance to spice stuff a lil?

"Look, this game was sort of inspired from the original 'Truth, Dare and Situation' that we all know of. You'll be given a situation of any kind, and you've got to think of a way to handle it. You might be asked to show how you'd react, or reply or act accordingly..."

"The only change in our modified rules is that, you'll only be given romantic or rather, embarrassingly juicy situations and you've gotta come out of those. This is like one of those otome simulation games that many play, only we will be the ones to make them up. Which means,you can also introduce multiple... suitors...in this game," Ann concluded triumphantly, "this game was an absolute favourite of ours back in highschool", she winked at Exci who turned beet-red.

"Lovely!" Taehyung clapped his hands, rubbing his palms together. Jimin was equally thrilled and Jin merely sighed with a "kids these days..."

"Look I've got no problem, as long you always pair me up with Sophie in the situations," Namjoon smiled, looping a hand through Sophie's, who nodded in agreement.

"Hopeless romantics", Ann sighed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Noo ofc I won't choose him!! I WON'T!", Exci started waving her hands frantically about her and furiously shook her head in disagreement. "B-but", Jin sputtered, "I made such a romantic scene..."

"...and oH so tragic", Hobi clutches at his heart and pretends to sob. "Still a NO", she shook her head. Jimin intervened. "I TOLD you that she needed smut. That's why she isn't saying yes..Hyung, you really know nothing about relationships these days..." he leans against the wall.

"Yeah do whatever, just stop pairing me with her. It's weird", Jungkook sighs, putting a hand on his forehead. "I won't do half the stuff that you're making me do in the situation".

"Oh but you will, when you're in love", Taehyung jabbed a finger at him.

By now, almost everyone's gotten a situation of their own, and almost everyone had said yes to their partner in the end. What with Jin's romantic sprinklings, Ann's juicy scenes and Hoseok's tragic angst, it was hard not to. But it was only Exci who hadn't said yes even once, but she had been paired with Jungkook every.single.time. And the real Jungkook was tired of listening to the fictional him jumping in front of cars, bridges and whatnot for saving her. "Why do you need so much of saving, huh?" He rolled his eyes.

Exci exclaimed, " I wouldn't have crossed a busy road in the first place. Jin's an idiot". "Yahh, who are you calling that?", came Jin's threatening voice. "Exci's heart is icy ", Hobi pretended to shiver. "Don't even remind me", Ann intervened. "It was just so damn hard to make her say yes. She might be the most clichéd person you've met, but trust me, I'd be awake at night thinking of all kinds of ghastly situations that would make her say yes to the poor guy".

"Hey, I did say yes sometimes! Remember that ones you made on Chaol and Tomoe?" Exci tried to defend herself. "Who's Chaol?" Jungkook pipes up, suddenly. Ann gives him a 'Really now?' look and said, "Yeah yeah I made a lot of stuff".

"So did I", Exci says smugly. "There was Hak and Zen, Yuri and Zero..." She counts the names off her fingers. "...Usui and Newt, Laurie and Jason", Sophie ends in a flourish. "Ooh Ann, so many!", Hobi exclaims in surprise. "Continue you both", Jimin says in a serious tone, "Yoongi needs a report on this", he pretends to take down names on an imaginary notepad. "Yah stop you both", Ann exclaims, crossing her arms defensively. "This was almost a decade ago!"

"There were more, I think", Sophie pretends to tap her chin, as if deep in thought. "You will stop right there sweet, if you don't want me to mention our good ol' 'Percy' ", Ann chuckled, putting air quotes around the name with her fingers.

Sophie's eyes widened in alarm, her eyes darting side to side, thinking of what to say. "Who's Percy?", Namjoon turned to her sharply. "N-none that you should be worried about Joonie!", Sophie exclaims waving her hands in front of her defensively. "Just some age-old crush I had in highschool". Namjoon visibly relaxed at her words, shaking his head a little for getting so worked up over such a silly matter. Sophie glared at Ann, who giggled in response. "Sure sure, whatever floats your boat", Ann muttered smirking.

Eager to avert the topic, Jin comments, "Exci, I really like those earrings of yours. Where did you buy them?", he asks quickly. Exci looked a bit taken abackby the sudden question and her fingers automatically goes upto her ears, caressing them. A thoughtful look takes over her face as she seemed to struggle to remember. "Ah these? I don't exactly recall, but I've had them for a long time now. Was a gift from a dear friend, I think". She stopped for a while, her hands still on the earrings, as if holding them might trigger her lost memories. "It was a girl....no, a boy...", she squints, trying to recall. "A party....a birthday party....and rabbits?" She shakes her head. "It's no use, I've the memory of a goldfish haha. I don't even remember his face, but we were very small, like in primary school. Before we met", she nodded at her two friends, Sophie and Ann. "I faintly remember someone crying...was it me? But what does it have to do with a earring..." she trails off, " a kids' park... with swings and a slide..." " We used to live in a different area back then. I remember staying there for a couple of years only before we moved".

A sudden sound of a chair scraping against the floor makes Exci snap her head towards the source. Jungkook quickly gets up from his place on the floor near the chair, a strange expression on his face. "M-my leg had fallen asleep, I'm not used to sitting down for so long", he quickly says, moving his face away, as if hiding something. He looked weirdly restless as if something was bothering him a lot. "You can continue...I need a drink". Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, he slowly moved towards the corridor. "Kitchen's that way, right?" Sophie nodded, a confused expression on her face. She looks at Namjoon who merely shrugs in response. Exci stares intently at Jungkook, her brows furrowed as if trying to grasp a lost detail. Taehyung gets up suddenly and says, "yeah Hyung, I feel stiff too. I'll go with him, we'll be back soon". Putting his large hand on Jungkook's shoulder, he slowly leads him out to the kitchen. Jin, annoyed at all the interuption waves them away, "yeah, yeah you all can go. You can continue though."

Why's he so interested in my story anyway? Thinks Exci, as she looks at Jungkook, who disappears into the kitchen. Sophie looks quizzically at Ann, who merely shrugs in response, her fingers busy threading through Yoongi's hair, who by now was letting out soft snores and occasionally mumbling something incoherent about 'adding a lil more salt to his lamb skewers'. Ann chuckled at that, shaking her head muttering something about how adorable he is when he sleeps. "So? You were saying..." Jin eggs Exci on to continue with her story, throwing a meaningful look at Taehyung who returned it as he too disappeared into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah...it was a boy, I think. Small cute doe-shaped eyes", Exci laughs embarrassedly, "I don't know why I suddenly remembered that haha". "But the memory's so hazy...", she throws her head back, resting it against the sofa and stretches her legs on the floor. Closing her eyes, as if trying hard to remember, she asks, "are you really that curious?" "Yeah, I guess so... I mean, there's nothing much interesting to discuss about", Jin replies quickly. "Hmmm I guess so...", Exci continues to think with her eyelids closed. "A birthday party...whose? Mine? Or somebody else's? I remember crying over something a lot... And...well, a contest??" Exci opens her eyes, "I have the memory of a goldfish haha. It's difficult for me to remember much from the old days".

"A contest?", Ann chimed in curiously. "That reminds me how competitive you used to be when it came to singing contests in our school. As a kid, I used to steer right clear of you and your craziness", she laughed. "Yeah, I kinda remember all that", Sophie giggled from her place beside Namjoon who had one of his arms around her waist, her head resting on his chest, aka being all lovey-dovey. "Oh would you two please get a room?", Jimin rolled his eyes at the sight in front of him. "Why chim chim, jealous?" Namjoon piped in smugly at which Jimin replied with a "you wish".

"I think it may have been a singing contest, you know......." Exci said slowly and who seemed to oblivious of her immediate surroundings. "Actually it was a singing contest, yes...I remember now, thank you Ann, I think you were right". Ann merely shrugged in response. "Did I lose it? That must explain why I'd been so obsessed with being perfect at singing when I first met you all in school". "And perfect you are~" sung Ann and Sophie both, at which Exci shushed them. "Yeah, yeah I got ya".

"Jeez, talking about old stuff is helping me remember better.. I now remember that it was a birthday party of one of our classmates in kindergarten", Exci trails off, her voice sounding a little more certain than before. Jin nods at her as he stretches out his arms, a somewhat thoughtful look on his face. Sophie mumbled something under her breath and Namjoon drew her closer, pecking her forehead lightly. This scene got a few eye-rolls from the other members who were still seated and Ann, who suddenly poked at Yoongi and muttered, "what a lazy, unromantic boyfriend I've got". However, all that poking seemed to have no effect on him for he continued to snuggle comfortably on her lap, sleeping. She sighed and leaned back against the legs of the couch against which she was resting, thinking of ways to torment her poor boyfriend for being not enough cuddly, once he woke up.

A sudden sound made all heads snap back to Exci who suddenly looked very delighted and proud, her eyes shining with amusement. "I remember...", she mumbles. Then she suddenly started speaking very quickly. "This-- this earring...I-I wanted it. This was the prize they were giving at that birthday party if-- for the person who won the singing contest. I remember wanting it so badly, it was practically the only thing I was eyeing the whole time. My friend, I don't remember his name anymore was assuring me that there are many such beautiful earrings and I needn't worry so much about it. But I was ecstatic and obstinate too", she shook her head. "Hm I can imagine," Ann added thoughtfully. Giving her a look, Exci continued, "so I didn't even enjoy with my friends...I was rehearing outside the whole time with him supporting me...I mean, I realize now what a wonderful friend he had been, to have left his other friends and all and only supporting me". Jim nodded his head, saying "of course, of course" absently, glancing suddenly at the kitchen. "But I was too small to realize that the contest was for the birthday girl, and for her to win. And she did. She-she won that earring. And I was devastated", Exci chuckled. "He tried to stop me. I probably made a huge scene. My parents were away with work, so they couldn't make it to the party. I think I ran back crying". "How dramatic", Ann muttered.

"I know", Exci laughed, then continued, "my friend tried to come back, but his parents were there or something. Heck, I don't remember very clearly. But what I do remember is that he stood on my front porch for a quite a while after the party ended, til my parents found him there staring up at the windows", she giggled. "What I wouldn't do to get a friend like that now". "Yeah, Miss cliché queen, you would love that", Sophie commented, at which everyone laughed including Exci.

"But that doesn't explain how you got that earring!", spoke Hoseok, who had been very quiet the whole time. "Yeah I know", Exci sighed,"and that's the part where my memory is a little hazy".

_____________________________________________

"Hey, what's up with that behaviour? You all right??", Clearing his throat, Taehyung looks at the younger member, frowning. Jungkook was leaning against the kitchen counter, gulping down water. It almost seemed as if he was forcibly drinking glasses of water to distract himself. Rubbing his mouth with his sleeve, he replies absently, "yes, of course". Taehyung pretended not to hear his answer, or he chose to ignore it. His frown deepened as he voiced a question, "is she the one...?" Trailing off towards the end, he looks up at the younger member uncertainly, watching his reaction intently.

With a sharp intake of breath, Jungkook quickly puts down or rather, slams down his glass of water. Wincing a bit from the sound or perhaps, also from the question (which though sounded fairly simple seemed to have a deeper meaning for him), he blurts out a "no". Then his eyes widens in realization and he quickly tries to mend his words, "What are you talking about? I-I mean.." Stammering, he clutches hold of the glass that he had put down on the kitchen counter and brings it to his lips. Not meeting his hyung's confused-but-suspicious eyes, he gulps it down in one-go. Taehyung lets out a humourless laugh. "Who are you trying to deceive? I've known you for years now, you know", he raises an eyebrow at him towards the end but Jungkook simply shook his head. With slightly trembling hands, he tries to lift the bottle to pour himself another drink when Taehyung quickly strides across the kitchen and catches hold of his wrist. "You've had enough", he chides, "you don't wanna keep wanting to pee in Sophie's house. Namjoon would get mad". Jungkook chuckles a bit at that, but the smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. "I've been watching you for a while now", Taehyung speaks slowly, "you've got that faraway, sad look in your eyes that people get when they are in love", he smiles at him. "I'm not in love with her, " Jungkook is quick to reply, "o-or a-at l-least I'm not a-anymore..." his cheeks turn a bright shade of red at the confession. "So, you do know that it's her then, right?" The older member grins at him cheekily at which Jungkook groans. "I don't know!" He throws up his arms in protest. "I haven't seen her for a decade! I-I only remembered here name...", he trails off as his gaze turns towards the window and he stares out, looking at the vehicles rushing past the busy road and the abandoned building that stood opposite the road... _Hmm, there was a building like that in Busan too...we used to play-- "Kookie! It's dangerous! Don't go in there!" A shrill voice rings out. "It's okay Exci, I'll keep you safe!" He calls out from the terrace of the old building that had become a place for kids to play hide-and-seek. "You never listen to me", a figure stands straight on the road, hands on her waist and looking defiantly up at her friend that had decided to explore the old abandoned house that day.

"Jungkook. Jungkook. JUNGKOOK!" Taehyung waves his hand in front of Jungkook's face. "Earth to Jungkook!" The maknae looks back ta V startled, his eyes open wide. "What were you thinking? Already lost in thoughts of your girlfriend?!" He giggles. "Friend. A childhood friend. NOT girlfriend", Jungkook corrects sternly and turns around to look out of the window again. Taehyung had the vague feeling that he was probably trying to hide his face from him.

"You should go talk to her, you know", he suggests softly. Seeing Jungkook shake his head stubbornly, he sighs. "She doesn't remember your name or face, clearly". Jungkook lowers his head, as if in defeat. "Hey, I'm sure she'll be delighted to meet you again. She seems to have very fond memories of her childhood friend, it's just that she doesn't remember the name and face. Doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't care...you know?" He puts a hand on his shoulder, turning him around to face him. "I-I only remembered her face as a child...it was this vague resemblance that triggered my memory when I saw her face beside Ann and Sophie's." Taehyung pats his head softly and smiles. "I've been with you for almost a decade now. Being the two youngest members of the band has brought us closer than anyone might expect..." Jungkook smiled at him too at that. "I know...", he mumbled. V continued, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that your inherent awkwardness with girls is not what other people make out to be. You were in love with your childhood friend..." Kookie repeatedly shook his head at that, "no, no--" "Let me finish. Your childish heart made a promise to itself that it would wait for the girl it had fallen for, you perhaps were too young to even realize the feeling as love. Isn't that so?", he chuckles to himself,shaking his head in amusement. Lowering his voice, he says, "Jungkook, you've left your family at such a young age...your emotions, feelings...you hardly got to understand them completely before you had to go into the idol life. You were still a kid when you had to enter this life of responsibility..." Jungkook stared at the older member, wide-eyed, listening. "I know it sounds weird to hear me speak about your feelings this way, but hear me out...your confused emotions never got a shape. Your feelings, your promise that you'd never open upto any other girl slowly manifested into that awkwardness you now always feel around other women". Taehyung stopped to look at him, then continued, "you may have almost forgotten her, or at least buried her memories deep in your mind... but your mind almost involuntarily kept feeling uncomfortable around other women of your age". He chuckles a bit. "You're still such a kid, you know. I actually had to sort out your feelings for you. Exci seems to be much more mature than you are, she'll do you a lot of good". He laughs at which Jungkook lowers his head, embarrassed and blushing. "She hasn't changed much, you know hyung?" Jungkook looks up suddenly, his eyes gleaming with fond memories of his past.

"I know", V laughed. "You wouldn't have been so entranced with her otherwise. I can observe people better than you think, you know..." Jungkook lowers his head again, but this time he chuckled slowly. "Hyung, never in my life did I think that I'd have to take life-advices from you. Its Namjoon hyung who's in charge of that department, you know". "Yah whatever do you mean by that??" Taehyung interjected, sending the flustered maknae one of his boxy grins. "I know what you mean, gukkie. But it doesn't hurt to be a lil philosophical sometimes, especially when it comes to solving your problems, you kid". Jungkook pouted at that, and Taehyung poked a finger into his puffed-up cheeks. Letting down his breath, he winks at his hyung, his face now practically glowing with joy, "C'mon hyung, I have a friendship to revive".

"You think I sound okay? My voice sounds so hoarse after practicing... I shouldn't have--" she sighs, her hands all fidgety as she looks at her friend anxiously. "I've told you a million times already Exci, you sound just fine", he says smiling, then adding with a wink and a playful smirk, "if you ask me, I'd definitely say you deserve that prize tonight", he ended in a flourish. "Yeahh, don't exaggerate!" Jungkook's meaningful compliment which,he hoped would please her seemed to have the opposite effect and she grew more distressed. "Don't lie kook, don't you lie to me!" She cried out, almost panic-stricken. Rubbing the back of his head confusedly, Jungkook confessed, "I was only trying to make you feel better", then noticing the devastated look on his friend's face, he quickly added, "but I wasn't lying! You sound so good, really better than that birthday girl". He nodded his head hopefully to emphasize his point but Exci grew more tensed and hysterical by the second. "You're saying that only so that you can leave me and go play with your friends! Other friends", she made air-quotes, "YOU don't want to stay here!" she pointed a finger at her friend accusingly. It was her friend's turn to get hysterical now as he vigorously shook his head from side to side, his long-ish hair becoming all the more messy and getting in his face. But he didn't care. Not when his friend, his best friende was accusing him of not being a true friend. "No Exci, how could you say that??" He cried at her, " I only want to be with you! I-I...We'll practice till you think its perfect", he hangs his head in shame, his cheeks tinged pink from all the emotion that boiled within him. Exci started at his saddened face and opened his mouth to speak, but then thought the better of it and merely shook her head. They kept practicing.

"Kook, I'm scared", Exci turns a tearful gaze at her friend that stood by her side, clutching her hand tightly. He gave it a squeeze, "you're very good, don't worry", he turned to smile at him. He gave her an enthusiastic nod and said, "you'll beat them girls. Trust me", he pointed at the group that stood huddled by the stage. "Kook, don't point!" She squealed in alarm, and tried to force his hand down which was now pointing at the other competitors. "What?" He blinked his eyes in surprise, lowering his arm. "It's true, you'll do well". Exci smiled at him sadly, "I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier. You're such a good friend ", she squeezed back his hand. Jungkook's eyes lit up with delight as he replied, albeit a little flustered, "don't you worry about any of that!" "Go,go", he gives her a push and as she gets up on the stage, she looks back at him and sends him a nervous grin and a wave, and Jungkook waves back with an enthusiastic grin and a nod to go in. "All the best", he mouthed to her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jungkook smiled a bit as he remembered the memory. This is the story that Exci was now currently trying to narrate to the others, though very poorly. She has forgotten almost everything, and was stuttering and trailing off frequently, squinting her eyes trying to remember the details. "Memory of a goldfish ", Jungkook smiles, repeating the words to himself. Taehyung was leading the way back to the drawing room where the rest were seated, and her voice could be heard all the way from there.

"But that doesn't explain how you got that earring!", complained Hoseok at something she probably said. "Yeah I know", Exci could be heard sighing in defeat, " "and that's the part where my memory is a little hazy".

"Guess someone needs to fill up the gaps and speak in more detail", Taehyung's deep, loud voice fills the room. Exci and Jin looks up at him in surprise. "Oh you finished taking the drink?" Sophie interjects, lifting her head from Namjoon's chest to look at Jungkook and putting his hands away that were stroking her head, at which he let out a definite sound of protest. "What do you mean?" Exci ignores everyone else and stares at Taehyung, her eyes boring into his. He cleared his throat a bit, clearly uncomfortable of being glared at by Exci. Jin's eyes went wide as he looked from Taehyung to Exci and then Jumgkook". "He agreed??", he mouthed to Tae who seemed to grow flustered with wo many people trying to get answers from him. Jungkook glared at Jin and muttered, "oh just how many people did he tell my story to..." Taehyung grimaced, one of his hand moving back to rub the back of his head. "Uhh..." he seemed unable to form a complete sentence. "Can I finish your story?" Jungkook speaks up suddenly, looking at Exci. She stared back. "W-what I mean to s-say is, I know the rest of your story", he finishes lamely and winces at the poor choice of his words. "And how could you possibly know her story?" Ann spoke up in an amused voice, from the corner of the room. She stroked her chin, and muttered, "do you happen to be one of her friends from back then?" Exci stiffened and muttered under her breath, "it can't be,can it?"

Clearing his throat, he began. "You were devastated with how the contest ended. We were too small to know that the contest was arranged for the birthday girl to win. We, you weren't supposed to win", he took a breath, "you got hysterical and started crying in anger. I think you said some pretty harsh words to the birthday girl at which she too burst out crying. Then," he looks at Exci who seemed astonished. Both were thinking of the same incident.

"You!" She pointed a finger accusingly at the birthday girl whose face was tear-stained. "You're terrible, you cant even sing in tune. How did you win?" Her voice took on a higher pitch as she cried out shrilly. The birthday girl began to sob again. Exci cried harder, burying her face in her arms. The parents looked bewildered, some looked sympathetically at the two girls arguing. She had every reason to be angry, but it wasn't exactly the birthday girl's fault either. Both were kids after all. The girl's best friend stood up. "Exci its okay", the little boy ran to his crying best friend and hugged her. But she was crying too hard to notice. "You did well. You deserve the prize. I don't know why everyone is so unfair here", he glared at the birthday girl's parents who looked very flustered and confused, looking over her shoulder as he hugged her tightly. She pulled free from his grasp, her features contorted with rage. "No I'm not ready to accept that. You are siding with them, aren't you?" She sobbed and Jungkook shook his head helplessly. "No, no, no, you're getting me all wrong. When did I say that?" He cried, colour rushing onto his cheeks as he protested defiantly. "I-I..." he spluttered, and she went on, "save it! I'm going home", and before he could protest, she ran out of the hall. He tried to go after her, his feet automatically moving across the hall, but was stopped by his parents. They didn't approve of the horrible scene and absolutely did not want their son to be a part of it. "L-let me go!", He struggled against the tight grip that his mother had on him. He tried to pull free, then slouched in defeat when he saw that he wouldn't be allowed to go after her. "You can meet her after the party", came a stern voice and he was soon dragged back to the hall, helpless against his mother's strong grip on his arm. He sighed in defeat.

"you kind of ran out in anger, sobbing...", Jungkook laughed awkwardly as he looked at the eight pairs of eyes that were glued to his face. "U-uh, b-but h-how d-did you--", Exci opened her mouth in protest but ended up stammering badly. Pursing her lips, she gave a nod, urging him to move on. Jungkook's stare never left Exci's face as he continued, "I wasn't actually allowed to go after you, you see...my parents didn't want a scene. So I decided to check up on you after the party--" "Wait", Ann cut in sharply, "what do you mean by you wanting to go after her?" She glanced at her friend who had a very curious expression on her face. She seemed to be struggling with something on her mind, as if she it was difficult for her to grasp the facts that were being thrown at her. "Y-you mean..." She trailed off, looking up at him meaningfully. A flush began to crawl up Jungkook's neck, across his face and his behind his flashing, dark eyes that suddenly seemed unable to meet her eyes. He gave an almost imperceptible nod. Sophie audibly let out a loud gasp and Hoseok could be heard swearing. Namjoon murmured something under his breath and even Jimin, for once seemed unable to speak anything at all except, "oh my god". Jin, with a highly amused voice spoke out, "So kook, won't you tell us the rest of the story?" This earned him a glare from both Taehyung and Jungkook, and he effectively shut up after that. "Y-yeah, I mean...", He looked hopefully at Exci, who had a very unreadable expression on her face. Was she happy to see him? Or was she disappointed that her charming childhood best friend turned out to be the dorky maknae of BTS, Jeon Jungkook...It was hard to say.

"I c-could'nt follow you immediately though I wanted to, so I went after you after the party and--" "I remember that", she interjected, a sudden smile showing on her face. "You waited outside our house on the front porch for almost an hour. But I was either too sad--" and she laughed humourlessly at this, "or too stubborn and bitchy to come down". She chuckled genuinely at this, and he suddenly felt warm all over. Maybe she isn't too sad to get back her friend, he thinks.

"Jungkook! Come home", spoke a voice from beyond the gates that led into the front porch of her house. "It's really late", said her mother kindly, and with a swift glance at the top window that had heavy curtains drawn across it, commented, "she's not in a mood to talk tonight. You can come again tomorrow". "You did your job as a friend, right?", interjected his father as he looked at his son wearily who stubbornly refused to move from the place. "I promised you can come here again tomorrow right after breakfast tomorrow, okay?" She lay her hand on his shoulder. They've been standing here for a while now trying to convince him to leave. "I guess you are right", sighed the boy in defeat, and his mother led him towards the gate. But he stopped to look back after every few steps, reluctantly turned the corner on the street and the house disappeared from view.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Enough with the daydreaming guk", Jimin's bored voice as he twirled a stray strand of hair around his finger, broke him out of his reverie. He turned to look at him with a "huh?" and a blank look on his face. "Now how many times do I need to tell you that you need to cut that hair!", Jin's loud voice echoed around the silent room, "you look horrible with that long hair. And Jungkook, you should pay more attention to your surroundings--" His ramblings were cut off by giggles from Jimin who rolled his eyes and said, "okayy mom". "Hey you-" began Jin, but he was once again interrupted by a groan that came from where Yoongi was sleeping. He seemed to have finally finished his daily quota of naps and was letting out a yawn. "Yah! Why don't you close your mouth?!", came Ann's voice who raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend that lay sleeping on her lap and who was now giving her a sheepish grin. "Hey". "Rise and shine, Min", she poked him on the already-puffed up (from sleeping) cheeks and he frowned. "No 'baby I had such a good time stroking your head while you slept?' I could feel you doing that, you know", he smirked up at his girlfriend who positively rolled her eyes. "Yeah not so much, especially when I can't even feel my legs now coz you were sleeping on it for so long", sighed Ann, "now get up and see what you missed". She grinned and winked at him. He looked ready to protest, but was interrupted by Jin. "First you rudely interrupt my lecture, then you act all lovey-dovey with Ann here. Kook here was telling us his childhood love story..." "Not a love story!", cried Jungkook, who had turned a bright red and Exci who sat opposite to him also blushed deep red. "Whose? Kook's?" Yoongi looked genuinely surprised as he looked at Jungkook. "What have I been missing out on--" he stifled a yawn that escaped his lips at which Ann snorted. "You can go back to sleep now. You've missed a lot, but you ain't gettin a recap", she huffed and looked away. "Why's she so salty?", pouted Yoongi and looked at Hoseok who merely shrugged in response. "Maybe coz you've not been cuddling her enough?", Jimin raised his eyebrows suggestively with a glance towards Sophie and Namjoon. Namjoon was currently pressing a kiss on Sophie's forehead, with one of his arms around her who was laying quite still on his chest. He was whispering softly to her while threading a hand through her short-trimmed hair. She was mumbling something in response and nodding her head.

"Ahh", exclaimed Yoongi and turned around with a smirk. "You need my attention?", he says with his eyes sparkling with mischief and sends a cheeky grin. Ann turns around immediately, her eyes reduced to slits as she huffed, "ofc not! Huh", then continued to mutter afterwards, "who'd want your attention?!" Yoongi rolls his eyes and said, "I heard that, you idiot". Ann turned around to retort, when Jin cleared his throat. "Ahem...", and when they all turned to look at him, "ahem, so yeah as I was saying, Kook here was saying something." Yoongi, who looked a little annoyed since his moment was disturbed, rolled his eyes and waved him off, "yeah Kook, I'm all ears now".

_________________________________________

"Exci is down with fever, honey", her mom sighed for probably the hundredth time that day. Jungkook had been standing there for almost an hour now, refusing to leave before he got to see her face.

Shaking his head frantically, he speaks in a high-pitched voice, his eyes all wide and cheeks flushed, as he tried his best to make her understand how urgent this was. "I said I have something to give her! Please, it won't take more than a few minutes!"

God, why are these kids so stubborn, Exci's mom thought resignedly. She let out a sigh once more and slowly trudged up the staircase, leaving the flustered, yet desperate kid standing behind, who had a small parcel clutched to his chest.

"Exci, he won't leave until you see him. I have a lot of work to do other than acting as a mediator between you two kids. Resolve your fights on you own. I'm asking him to come up." Exci grumbled from under the blankets. She wasn't really sick. Half ashamed of the utter fool she made of herself yesterday and half mad at him for no reason whatsoever, she was just being a bratty little kid, refusing to face her best friend's worried face.

"Mom I'm telling you that I'm not in the mood right now. Just ask him to leave, I can't believe he won't budge even though you're saying I'm sick! " She screamed from under her blanket. When she heard no response from her mom, slowly she peaked out,pulling the blanket away from her face.

[ Jeez, gotta apologize for this one. I posted this mistakenly while scrolling through my draft. This scene is NOT complete as yet!! But uhh since I already posted it, I'm gonna keep it here ig? And keep adding a few paragraphs to the scene whenever I feel like it?! Hehehe~ ]

#jungkook x reader angst #fluff #childhood memories

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Could never define all that you are to me (Branjie)--athena2, writworm42

A/N: AU inspired by the movie Carol, whereby Brooke visits Vanessa’s department store in search of a toy, only to find something that’s going to bring much, much more joy.

(aka we gave the people the Carol au they deserve)

For Ficmas prompt “mittens”

WRIT: It was SO, SO much fun to write this with Athena!!! Collabing with her has been a dream, and I hope y'all like it as much as we liked writing it together. THANK YOU TO MY BEST BINCH HOLTZ FOR BETA-ING!!!!

ATHENA: Working with Writ has been an absolute honor and a dream. I could not have done this without them, and I love them. Also thank you holtzmanns for betaing for us! Title from Movement by Hozier

—

The blonde is, in Vanessa’s opinion, the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.

She sweeps into the toy department like a breath of fresh air, a peaceful break from screaming toddlers and fighting siblings and mothers that raise fingers at her when toys aren’t in stock.

Vanessa’s head shoots up from its downward tilt that sets in after a few hours at this place. She forgets her growling stomach (lucky A’keria got first lunch), forgets the exhaustion of four straight eight-hour shifts, forgets everything except for the woman in front of her.

The blonde is quiet and self-contained as she browses around, a relief from the usual parents that storm up to the counter and demand that Vanessa give them what they want. A long grey coat flows down her even longer frame, and Vanessa can tell from the smooth lines and crisp collar that it costs more than her whole paycheck.

The woman teeters around, glancing over to the counter and biting her lip like she needs help but is afraid to ask for it, and Vanessa seizes her moment. She reaches for the compact mirror A’keria hides under the desk, checks her hair, and asks, “Anything I can help you with?” in the cheerful employee voice she doesn’t use as often as she’s supposed to.

“Huh? Oh, um, yes,” the blonde says, walking over to the counter. “Sorry, do you have any princess castle sets left? I need to get it for my daughter.”

Her voice is soft and she smells like strawberries. Vanessa finds herself straining against the counter to get closer.

Vanessa’s heart sinks. She sold the last one that morning, to a woman that threatened to get the manager if Vanessa didn’t accept her expired coupon. Vanessa would usually tell people the item was out of stock with her insincere, company-mandated politeness, but something in her hurts over having to tell this woman she can’t have it.

Vanessa notes a deep exhaustion in the woman’s green eyes. Not the kind of exhaustion you get from one sleepless night, but from months, maybe even a whole life, of sleepless nights. Despite how polished this woman is, Vanessa fears this might make her crumble.

“I’m really sorry, but I sold the last one this morning,” Vanessa says genuinely. The woman’s face falls briefly before righting itself.

“That’s okay,” she says. “Thank you for your help.”

She turns to leave.

“Wait!” Vanessa yelps. “I can order one for you. It’ll be here by Christmas, I promise.”

“Oh.” Her face brightens, a small smile that weakens Vanessa’s knees running across her face. “That would be great, thank you.”

“No problem.” Vanessa goes through the steps of the online order, typing in the woman’s name– Brooke Lynn Hytes, Vanessa doesn’t think she’ll forget it–and phone number.

“Can I pick it up in the store?” Brooke asks, and Vanessa lets herself fantasize for a second that Brooke’s done it to see her again, that the smile still shining on Brooke’s face is for Vanessa alone. Why else would this woman inconvenience herself with store pickup when home delivery is an option?

“Of course. We’ll call you when it comes in.”

“Thank you,” Brooke says. “I’ll be back to get it. I hope you’re working that day.” Her cheeks turn a soft pink that make Vanessa’s heart flutter.

“Me too,” she whispers, already frantically checking the order form for the expected arrival date and comparing it to her work schedule.

—

The delivery takes far too long for Vanessa’s liking. Every day that passes by is another risk–a risk that Brooke might forget, or that she’ll be busy and send someone else, or worse, that Vanessa won’t be on shift when it does come in, or when Brooke is able to pick it up. By the time a week passes, Vanessa finds herself a little panicked; what if it’s already come in, already been picked up, and she’s missed it, missed her chance to see Brooke again? It’s not like she can ask anyone–no, that would be obsessive, and odd, and it would certainly raise suspicion…

“Hey,” A’keria taps Vanessa on the shoulder nine days after Brooke and Vanessa’s meeting, “That box for the lady from last week came in. I’d call her about it, but I don’t really want to, so…”

Vanessa has never jumped to do something for someone else so fast, any potential scolding or argument flying out the window as she scrambles to the phone, thanking God for loving the lesbians so much as she jams in Brooke’s number and waits for the number to dial.

Pick up, pick up, pick up…

The phone clicks after the third ring.

“Hello?” the voice on the line is proper, official, with an almost coy lilt to it, but it’s Brooke’s, Vanessa’s sure of it.

“Um…” Vanessa curses herself inwardly as she scrounges for words, her mind suddenly having gone blank. Christ, why now?

“Is this the Hytes residence?” she finally blurts out, her face burning with embarrassment as Brooke laughs on the other line.

“Yes, Brooke speaking. Is this the counter girl from last week?”

“Oh.” it comes out in a breath of surprise, almost like Vanessa can’t believe Brooke remembers her, that she recognizes her voice, because she can’t believe it, can’t believe she’s that memorable.

“Well?”

“Yes!” Vanessa remembers herself suddenly, “Yes, this is Vanessa. Um–the counter girl. I–I don’t remember if I told you my name last time.” She puts her face in her hand, the heat of her mortification practically burning her palm as she stuffs down any further urges to keep rambling. Luckily, though, Brooke only laughs.

“You’re adorable, Vanessa.” Brooke purrs. “So, I take it my toy is in?”

“Yes, ma’am. I mean, um, Miss Hytes. Um–”

“Brooke. Call me Brooke.” Brooke’s voice is light with amusement. “I’m calling you Vanessa, after all.”

“Alright, Brooke.” Vanessa nods, and somehow, it’s soothing to say the name, a little exciting, even, as if she’s gained some kind of secret approval from the woman on the other line. “It’s ready for you to come pick it up.”

“Excellent. When are you working until?”

Oh God. Oh God. Brooke is going to come over to the store, is going to come pick it up from Vanessa.

Vanessa can barely contain her excitement as she tells Brooke she’s working until closing at 10 that night, and has to stop herself from slamming down the phone in joy when Brooke tells her she’ll be there within the hour.

She almost runs to the bathroom to tame her hair, frazzled after four hours on shift and another four to go. She reapplies lipstick, trying not to think that she’s as excited as a kid on Christmas morning over seeing a woman she’s talked to less than five minutes. It’s ridiculous. She sighs and heads back out.

Every minute in the toy department creeps by like an hour, but tonight, each one feels like a year. She tidies up a stuffed animal display, rearranges building blocks, and lines up board games. She’s about to hit the stuffed animals again when she walks in and Vanessa loses her breath for a second.

Brooke is in a different coat this time, a short red one, no less expensive or well-made.

Vanessa coaxes (threatens) A’keria into taking her break and leans casually against the counter as Brooke approaches.

“Hi,” Brooke says.

“Hi.” Vanessa’s face burns; it’s probably just the heat blasting through the store.

“Having a good week?” Brooke asks pleasantly.

Vanessa shrugs. “Not too bad. The Christmas rush will be coming, though.”

Brooke smiles. “That must be rough.”

“It sure is. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a grown woman riding one of those toy trucks to knock people over and getting stuck. We had to call the fire department to get her out.”

Brooke breaks off into a musical laugh, one that makes Vanessa smile. From how surprised Brooke is at the sound, Vanessa gets the idea that she hasn’t laughed like this in a while. Why the hell is she thinking about it? She doesn’t know a thing about this woman, and it’s not her business anyway. Brooke removes thick leather gloves and Vanessa can’t help but notice that there’s no ring on her finger. Again, not her business.

“I promise I won’t ride anything—unless you’d like that,” she teases and Vanessa’s knees almost give out. “Otherwise, I’ll just take the castle.”

“Right.” Vanessa suddenly remembers that she’s here to do a job, not just talk to tall blonde women.

She plunks the box on the counter and rings up the purchase as Brooke opens a neatly organized wallet and removes her credit card. Vanessa drags the transaction out as long as she can without it being noticeable, because she isn’t ready for Brooke to leave just yet.

“Thank you again,” Brooke says as she takes the box. “I really want my daughter to have it. It’s been a tough few months for her.”

Vanessa suspects it’s been tough for Brooke as well, but she doesn’t voice it. “Sorry to hear that,” Vanessa says. “How old is she?”

“Four. Her name is Sophie,” Brooke replies.

“Nice name. Is she pretty like her Mama?” Oh shit. Did that really just come out of her mouth?

Thankfully, Brooke just laughs again. “I think she’s prettier than me, to be honest. She has such nice brown eyes. Beautiful, just like yours.”

The heat is on way too high. Vanessa feels like she’s emerged from a volcano. But it can’t just be her imagination anymore. Brooke is definitely into her, those green eyes bright and locked onto her.

“Sorry to interrupt,” barks a voice that isn’t at all sorry, “but are you going to find a doll for me or do I have to see a manager?”

It’s like a picture frame shatters, the perfect image Vanessa’s living in destroyed as she looks up to see an irate woman with a hand on her hip by the register.

“I’ll be right with you,” Vanessa promises as Brooke gives her an apologetic smile.

“I’ll be seeing you soon,” Brooke vows. “Still have some more presents to get.”

“I’ll be here,” Vanessa confirms. She doesn’t have time to be sad as Brooke heads out, can’t focus on her sinking heart as she helps the woman find a doll. It isn’t until she’s about to close that she sees the gloves left on the counter. Rich, smooth leather, soft as butter. Brooke’s gloves. Vanessa wonders how someone that seems so careful, so organized, could have left them here, silencing the delusion that Brooke did it purposely.

Either way, she has a reason to call Brooke again.

–

“My, my, Vanessa, we’ve simplygot to stop meeting this way.” Brooke answers the phone on the first ring this time, not so much as ahello in the way of getting right to the point. Vanessa feels her breath catch in her throat, the validation of her hunch somehow not nearly as satisfying as it is nerve-wracking now that it’s actually unfolding, actually happening, all in real time.

“How did you know it was me?” The question comes to her before she can stop it, and fuck it, her brain isn’t working well enough to think of anything else to say in the moment, so she might as well ask.

There’s silence for a moment, and then a cough.

“You’re, um, the fifth person I’ve done this to.”

Vanessa can’t help it–she cracks up.

“Hey!” Brooke’s voice comes through plaintive and pouty, not nearly as smooth or cool as Vanessa was used to, and somehow, it makes it even funnier. “Don’t make fun of me for being cool!”

“You’re being a dork.” Vanessa snorts, still giggling a little as she tries her best to calm down.

“Rude.” Brooke huffs, but despite the indignant front, she’s giggling too, and suddenly, Vanessa isn’t so nervous anymore.

“So, I guess you know why I’m calling?” Vanessa finally sobers up, the air between them settling back into calm again.

“Because you just can’t resist me?”

“No, you dork.” Vanessa rolls her eyes. “You left your gloves at the counter this evening.”

“So I did.” Vanessa canhear Brooke’s grin on the other line, her voice having resumed its sly, purring drawl. “Does that mean I’ve got to come collect from you again?”

The thought of Brooke collecting something–something that’s definitely not gloves–from Vanessa is enough to disorient Vanessa completely.

“I–Um. Yes, but the store is closed now, so you’ll either have to come by tomorrow, or–”

“–Or? Don’t tell me you’re sitting in the store after dark, all alone?” There’s flirtation in the question, but also something pressing, something that overtakes the seductive potential of the moment and leaves behind any possibilities that it might lead to.

Brooke is sitting on the other side of the line, worried that Vanessa is alone and unprotected.

Vanessa feels her heart swell just a little.

“I’m actually at home.” she confesses, “I took them with me. I know that it’s late, so I can bring them back with me to work tomorrow, or–”

“Where do you live?”

Vanessa blinks. “What?”

“Where do you live?” Brooke repeats, a little slower, “I’ll come pick them up from you. If–If that’s not too forward.” The tinge of regret and shyness in her voice is uncharacteristic for Brooke, unlike anything Vanessa’s seen from her so far.

It’s cute. And Vanessa definitely wants to see more of it.

“Fifteen May Street, unit 206. Sidestreet just shy of the corner of Maple and Foundry.”

“Alright.” Brooke’s voice takes on a softness and confidence that erases the crack in her demeanour that had appeared mere seconds ago. “I’ll have my driver bring me over in about fifteen. Is it okay if Sophie comes too? The nanny and housekeeping staff have gone home for the night.”

Vanessa agrees, then hangs up the phone, snorting a little to herself.

A rich woman–one who can afford a driver, a nanny, and housekeeping–is bringing herself and her daughter over to see Vanessa, a toy-counter girl, and spend time with her. Talk with her. Get to know her more.

Lord.

Well, Vanessa’s mother had always said that she had the tendency to get herself into the strangest situations, and as far as strange situations, this one was turning out more than alright.

Vanessa smiles to herself, tidying and arranging little things she notices around the apartment as she rushes to her bedroom to go get ready.

—

Vanessa stares out the window like a wife waiting for her lover to return from the war, after rushing through her apartment and throwing dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

A sleek black car pulls up to the curb, the kind you aren’t supposed to notice but do anyway, and know that the person inside has to be rich.

Brooke gets out, graceful as always, a dish in one hand, her other in a small blonde girl’s mittened grasp. Vanessa’s heart warms at this tender, caring side of Brooke. She fixes her hair one last time, picks up one of Riley’s chew toys she’d missed and shoves it in the pantry, before buzzing them in.

The knock sounds a minute later and makes her jump even though she’s expecting it. Get it together, Vanessa, she commands herself as her heart skips a beat. So what if this lady she barely knows and is majorly attracted to will be in her apartment, in the space where she lives and sleeps and eats, in the space where Vanessa unwinds and lets herself go after work? She can do this. She opens the door and Brooke’s face breaks into a grin that Vanessa mirrors.

Sophie is Brooke in miniature, like one of the dolls in the toy department. She has the same blonde hair, same nose, and same fair skin, contrasted by warm, chocolate brown eyes. Vanessa’s never been one for kids–hours of listening to them scream and cry in a stifling store will do that to you–but she has a feeling this one might be okay.

Brooke passes Vanessa the dish after she steps inside. “Um, Sophie and I made cookies. She really likes sprinkles, as you can see. I hope that’s okay.” Brooke grins nervously, and it makes Vanessa melt to see her without such confidence. Like this shy Brooke is one only Vanessa has access to.

There are a lot of sprinkles on the cookies, completely covering the frosting on some, but…

“Who don’t like sprinkles?” she says casually to Brooke, the blonde’s face relaxing while she sighs in relief. It’s kind of adorable, how Brooke wants so badly for Vanessa to like the cookies.

Vanessa lingers in the doorway and tries to imagine her kitchen through Brooke’s eyes. It’s tiny, the whole apartment is, but it’s only ever just been Vanessa and she doesn’t need much space. She manages to keep it somewhat clean, busting into her cleaning supplies on her rare days off, if she had the energy. She’s never been embarrassed of her place, of that stain by the refrigerator that came with the apartment, or the tiny holes in the living room wall, but she’s never had someone rich enough for a housekeeper and private driver in here either.

Before Vanessa can say anything, Sophie marches up to her and looks deep in her eyes, and Vanessa feels like this four-year-old suddenly knows every secret she’s ever had, including the way her heart is pounding at the sight of Brooke in her kitchen.

“You’re the toy lady my mommy talks about,” Sophie states firmly.

“I am, am I?” Vanessa asks, playing along though the thought of Brooke thinking about her even far away from the store, in her own home, so much that she even mentioned her to her own daughter, makes Vanessa want to jump until she hits the ceiling. Somehow, Vanessa’s name coming out of Brooke’s mouth, floating around the walls of Brooke’shome, is more intimate than Vanessa being in Brooke’s bed herself. (Though she certainly wouldn’t say no to that either).

Brooke’s cheeks are bright pink. “Why don’t you give me your mittens, Soph?” she smooths over her daughter’s statement. “We wouldn’t want to leave them here, would we?” she asks, her composure recovered with a sly grin at Vanessa.

“Not teaching the next generation your tricks, then?” Vanessa teases.

“I might,” Brooke says, “After all, it worked this time, didn’t it?” Brooke’s smile is sharp and pointed, like a sword, before softening, and Vanessa starts making coffee, the familiar motions slowing her racing heart, as Brooke helps Sophie with her coat zipper.

Riley, always slow on the uptake–part of the reason Vanessa loves him so much–finally recognizes that there’s company and trots into the kitchen to investigate.

“You have a puppy!” Sophie yelps. “Can I pet it? Please?”

Vanessa smiles. “Of course you can. His name is Riley. He’s real friendly.”

Sophie seats herself on the kitchen floor, Riley happy to sit as she runs her hands all over his fur.

She and Brooke slide across from each other at the kitchen table, sipping coffee–Brooke takes hers with one sugar, Vanessa commits that to memory, just in case–and starting on the cookies, melt-in-your-mouth soft beneath their crunchy sprinkle layer.

“This is a nice place you have,” Brooke says. “It’s real cozy. I like it.”

“Thanks.” Vanessa shrugs. If it was anyone else, she’d think they’re just saying it to be nice, but Brooke doesn’t seem the type to spare one’s feelings with a lie. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

“It’s nice,” Brooke repeats. “Big doesn’t always mean a home, believe me.”

There’s a thread dangling there, one that would surely unravel and reveal more of Brooke if she grabs it, but she hesitates too long and the moment is gone.

“Um, I don’t know if you’re working tomorrow, but would you want to grab lunch?” Brooke asks, hand rubbing the back of her neck.

“I’d love to,” Vanessa answers honestly, already tingling at the idea, mentally running through her closet to pick an outfit.

“Great.” Brooke smiles. “Does 12 work?”

“It sure does,” Vanessa says, because she’s going to make it work no matter who she has to trade lunches with.

Vanessa tells Brooke more about the store and some holiday highlights, including the all-out fistfight last week, until the coffee mugs are empty and Sophie’s head droops against Brooke’s shoulder.

“I should probably go,” Brooke says, lifting Sophie up to her hip.

“Right,” Vanessa agrees. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Vanessa watches them leave, Brooke helping Sophie into the car with gentle care, before running to her closet and pulling out shirts. For the first time ever, she can’t wait until work tomorrow.

–

The deli across the street from the store is as cramped as it is crowded, its linoleum floors and steel counters alive with people yelling out orders, tapping at the clear glass display cases, wiping mustard off their chins as they eat sitting at the few tables the deli has at the back. It’s noisy, and chaotic, and the pastrami is always suspiciously warm, but there’s no place Vanessa would rather spend her lunch. And from the looks of it, Brooke is just as happy to be there.

“My parents worked in a place like this growing up.” She smiles as they shoulder their way up to the counter, craning their necks to read the menu hung above their heads. “I remember I used to spend whole days sitting on the floor by the counter, colouring or doing homework or something. I got my first job there, too.”

“My parents worked in a cookie factory.” Vanessa shrugs. “They met working next to each other on the line.”

“I guess both of our families have a history of meeting at work.” Brooke winks, and Vanessa laughs.

“I guess they do.”

They pick everything bagels with cream cheese and lox, large pickles on the side and piping-hot coffee to wash it all down, then slide into the last free booth in the very corner of the deli.

“You like pickles?” Vanessa offers, wrinkling her nose, and Brooke nods enthusiastically, not even hesitating to swipe Vanessa’s off her plate and immediately start munching down on it.

“Thanks!” She smiles through a mouthful of pickle juice, and Vanessa snorts.

“You lucky you pretty, bitch.”

“You like me just fine.” Brooke winks.

“I do.” Vanessa grins. God, she really, really does.

They spend the rest of their lunch chatting and laughing, gliding from topic to topic like they’ve known each other for years. They talk about their families, about movies they’ve seen recently, about their favourite things to do in their spare time. Five-to rolls around far too quickly, cutting Brooke off in the middle of a story about skating on the lake when she was a child, and Vanessa gets up to the table with a sinking feeling in her chest.

“Hey, don’t look so glum.” Brooke tuts, pulling Vanessa in for a hug. “It’s not like you can’t see me later. In fact, I’d… I’d like that a lot, if I could see you again.”

“I’m not free again until Christmas Eve.” Vanessa sighs, squeezing Brooke tightly, as if it’s the last time she’ll hold the other woman for a while. For all she knows, it is; Christmas is two weeks away, and by the time she’s free again, for all she knows, whatever they’ve got going will have died, and Brooke will have someone new to be thinking of, to be leaving her gloves with and taking out for lunch.

“Okay, Christmas Eve it is, then.”

Vanessa looks up, heart stopping and eyes wide. “What?”

“Christmas Eve it is, then.” Brooke repeats, smiling. “Sophie loves you, Vanessa, I’m sure she’d love to see you again, and I don’t have anyone else I’d rather spend it with than you. That is, if you’re not busy.”

“I’m not.” Vanessa cringes inwardly at how fast the words come out, how eager she sounds. But if she comes off as over-enthusiastic, then Brooke doesn’t seem to mind; she only grins wider, bringing Vanessa in for an even tighter, longer hug.

“Call me tonight, okay?” She whispers in Vanessa’s ear as they separate, planting a soft, chaste kiss on her cheek. “I wanna talk to you even if you’re busy.”

“Well, you know where to find me either way.” Vanessa jokes in response, even though when Brooke nods in understanding, she can tell that the other woman has taken the suggestion completely seriously. It’s a thought that cheers her up completely as she walks back to the store, her heart swelling with a newfound happiness in her chest.

–

Vanessa’s nightly phone calls with Brooke have quickly become the best part of her day.

She powers through the crowds yelling and fighting at the counter, each second taking her closer to the end of her shift, to running home and kicking off her shoes and munching on leftover pizza as Brooke’s voice washes over her like a warm tide.

Brooke tells her about how she used to dance, had even been the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker, her costume sparkling in the picture Brooke shows her, and Vanessa smiles at getting to share in this part of her. Vanessa tells Brooke about her childhood, how she used to love to draw and color and create her own clothes for her dolls, how she always wanted to design dresses.

It’s nice, it’s relaxing, and even when Vanessa is exhausted after a shift ends, talking to Brooke gives her new life, makes her ready to take on the world with Brooke beside her. She’s already planned her outfit, her favorite red dress with lacy black boots, for Christmas Eve, counting down the days until she goes to Brooke’s house.

The Christmas rush has hit the toy department, and Vanessa is so busy ringing up orders and slicing her fingers on wrapping paper and fixing ruined displays that she almost doesn’t have time to miss Brooke.

Almost.

In every spare second that her mind has to wander, it wanders to Brooke, a lighthouse guiding her to shore with each bubbling wave of thought. She arranges stuffed animal pillows and hopes Brooke is sleeping well; she’s sounded so tired on the phone lately, and it makes worry pool in Vanessa’s chest. She glances at a display of blonde dolls in red coats and hopes Brooke is warm enough in that big house, wishing she could wrap her in a hug like a blanket.

Vanessa’s heart takes that familiar leap when Brooke walks up to the counter one day, but it instantly sinks down when she gets a good look at her. She’s in her usual expensive coat, black this time, her wavy hair just begging for Vanessa’s hands to run through it, but something is off. The coat doesn’t fit her like a suit of armor as it often does, and she seems smaller somehow, her eyes downcast and exhausted. Her hands are bare, black nail polish chipped. This is not her Brooke, if Vanessa’s even earned the right to think of her that way. What could be causing her to look so rattled?

“Hey. Um, are you okay? You’re not looking so hot,” Vanessa ventures, hoping this isn’t a step too far.

“I think we both know I’m always hot.” That’s the Brooke she knows, even if it’s not showing on Brooke’s face, still wary and drawn with dark shadows beneath her eyes.

“You got me there, Mami.” She shoots a nervous grin at Brooke that isn’t returned, and Vanessa’s heart plummets. Is this it? Did Brooke come here to confess that she was in another relationship, or didn’t want to take things further?

Brooke is silent and Vanessa’s stomach twists. “Brooke, is something wrong?” She asks, deciding to take the plunge and just get it over with it, trying not to think that these blissful weeks with Brooke are already over.

“I just–I’m so tired.” Before Vanessa can say anything, Brooke’s chin begins to quiver and her eyes dampen at the corners, tears pooling but not falling.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Vanessa is around the desk before she knows it, a steady hand on Brooke’s arm. She leads Brooke into the break room, grateful she’s with A’keria today, who will cover for her without question.

She seats Brooke on the coveted wool couch–the one Silky in the tech department often claims entirely for herself–and heads to the water dispenser, pressing the hot feature and dumping a packet of instant cocoa into her purple mug decorated with little white dogs.

She eases the piping-hot mug into Brooke’s hands, fueled by her mother’s insistence on giving warm drinks to people in distress. Brooke looks a little more like herself, a little more in control, with the mug, which she takes small sips of.

Vanessa drops down next to her. “You wanna tell me what made you upset? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Brooke bites her lip. “I–Christmas gets hard sometimes. It makes me think about the divorce a lot.”

Vanessa just nods, letting Brooke know she can go on. Despite her curiosity, she hasn’t asked about Brooke’s past relationships, figuring it isn’t her place, and it warms her to know she has Brooke’s trust, even if it hurts to see Brooke like this.

“The divorce was finalized last Christmas,” Brooke continues, sipping her hot chocolate. “It was a good thing, to be honest. He wasn’t a good person, Vanessa. He…he was a horrible person, really.” There’s pain lurking in her eyes, and Vanessa doesn’t want to know what her ex-husband did to put it there, but she does want to make it better, let Brooke know she would never hurt her.

“I’m so sorry.” Vanessa lowers a hand to Brooke’s knee and squeezes in gentle comfort, doing all she can to anchor Brooke down, keep her together.

“It’s okay,” Brooke says, sitting up straighter, her composure returning in waves. “I’m sorry to dump that on you. I’m not usually not like this, I just have bad days sometimes.”

Brooke shakes her head lightly, face grim. “Vanessa, if you don’t want to be saddled with all this”–she gestures to herself, as if she’s another other than the perfect woman of Vanessa’s dreams– “I understand. I wouldn’t ask that of you.”

“Brooke, no.” Vanessa takes a breath, wanting her next words to be right. “I really like you.All of you. And I want to get to know more of you. All your insecurities, all you’ve been through, I wanna get to know those parts of you too.”

The words feel right when they hit the air, and any doubts she had about Brooke’s feelings for her dissolve in their wake.

“I like you too.” Brooke sets her mug on the ground and places a tender kiss on Vanessa’s cheek. It’s probably the sweetest thing to ever occur on this couch and far from the most work-inappropriate. The soft lips on her cheek steal Vanessa’s breath, and she wonders if she should take her shirt off and actually do the most work-inappropriate act this couch has seen when the door creaks open to reveal Nina West, head of the women’s clothing department, standing in the doorway with her Disney mug in hand.

She and Brooke split apart like lightning struck between them. Vanessa holds her breath in the hopes she’ll turn invisible, her and Nina blinking at each other for endless seconds.

“You know what, I’m not gonna ask,” Nina affirms, inching back out. “That couch needs to be condemned anyway.”

Brooke bursts into laughter once she’s gone, and Vanessa is so relieved to have her goofy Brooke back that she laughs too, their sounds blending into a hysterical symphony.

“Do you still design clothes?” Brooke asks, and it’s so random that Vanessa shoots her a puzzled look.

“I was just thinking of getting to know all of you too,” Brooke explains. “You said on the phone you used to draw clothes and stuff. I was wondering if you still did.”

Vanessa shrugs. She hates to explain the whole story, usually met with forced sympathies, but she knows she won’t get them from Brooke. “I was supposed to start at design school, but my dad got sick, and I started working here full-time to help my parents. I didn’t have time for school and I just… got stuck, you know?” Stuck in this job, in her crappy apartment, in a string of girlfriends that left after a month, tops.

“I understand,” Brooke says, and Vanessa sees not fake pity but real concern and love in her eyes. “I hope you can get unstuck one day. Get your inspiration back.”

“I hope so too.” Hell, Christmas is the time for miracles, isn’t it?

“I should let you get back,” Brooke insists, standing up with reluctance. “I wouldn’t want your boss to get mad at you or anything.”c

“Right.” Vanessa sighs. “I really can’t wait to see you for Christmas Eve.”

“Me neither. I’m just glad you still want to come.”

“Please,” Vanessa scoffs. “You can’t scare me away. I work retail.”

Brooke snorts, her smile wide enough to carry Vanessa until the day arrives.

Finally, finally, after being subjected to “Jingle Bells” more than one person ever should in their lifetime, Vanessa lets the red dress engulf her like flames, purse slippery in her sweaty grasp, as the taxi pulls up to an elegant three-story house with wreaths shining on the doors and garlands glistening across the roof like something out of a movie. Vanessa’s jaw drops, imagining getting lost in all those rooms, rooms to eat in and cook in and watch TV in and sleep in, until she remembers Brooke saying that big didn’t mean a home. She instead pictures Brooke staring at all those rooms, the size and emptiness mocking her, feeling like a doll inside a toy house, and the thought breaks her heart.

Vanessa forces the thought away, vowing that she will fill Brooke’s house and her heart tonight, make sure she feels love flowing through the air. She takes a deep breath and raises her hand to the door.

—

Brooke is wearing the ugliest sweater Vanessa has ever seen, and she looks amazing in it.

“Sophie designed it.” Brooke blushes when she catches Vanessa staring at the garish neon-green fabric and the Christmas tree patch clumsily sewn onto the front, but Vanessa just shakes her head, grinning.

“I love it.” she says, reaching forward to touch one of the red pom-poms hanging off of the sleeves. “Four’s pretty young to knit and sew, though, that’s impressive!”

Brooke’s face reddens further, until she’s as scarlet as the pom-pom that Vanessa is still playing with. “No, she just designed it. I was the one who knit and sewed it.”

This time, it’s Vanessa who blushes, but Brooke doesn’t seem to mind–in fact, she laughs, harder and more brightly than Vanessa’s ever heard her laugh before, and it’s contagious. They’re both still chuckling as they move further into the house, their laughter only interrupted by the sound of tiny, fast footsteps. A minute later, Sophie runs in, clutching a big, fluffy cat in her arms.

“Mommy! Nessie!” Sophie screams with delight, jumping up into Brooke’s open arms while Vanessa takes the cat from her, cooing as it sniffs her hand. She runs a hand down the cat’s back, only for her hand to hit coarse wool and fluffy pom-poms, and she realizes with a jolt that its Christmas sweater is identical to Brooke’s. And, when she looks back at the little girl in Brooke’s arms, she realizes that Sophie’s sweater matches, too.

“Am I the only one who didn’t get the memo?” she jokes, putting on an exaggerated pout that makes Sophie erupt into peals of laughter.

“No!” she shakes her head, “Mommy said they were–” she straightens up, pursing her lips and putting her hands on her hips in a ridiculous impression of her mother, “– For family only. ”

God, Vanessa loves this kid.

“Well, next Christmas, maybe.” She winks, and Brooke rolls her eyes.

“Why don’t we see how Coco’s doing with the turkey, huh?” Brooke ushers everyone into the kitchen, where a cook with a big smile and a glob of orange-looking gravy smeared on her cheek greets them. For all her friendly looks, though, Coco has the accuracy and confidence of a drill sergeant, roping them into different tasks until their entire feast is finished and set on the table, Coco rushing off to spend Christmas with her own family.

It’s nice, being able to cook alongside Brooke, watching her get her hands messy with flour and her tongue poke out as she carefully crinkles the crust of their pecan pie. And it’s even more rewarding to finally sit down at Brooke’s side, Sophie opposite and the cat—Henry, Brooke tells Vanessa—sniffing for scraps under the table. They spend the evening chatting and eating and laughing, telling stories and playing parlour games, until the clock rings eight-thirty, announcing that it’s time for Sophie to get to bed.

“Wait here while I tuck her in, then we can spend some more time alone together.” Brooke winks, and Vanessa’s heart flutters, her mouth going dry as she nods. Time alone together. Just the phrase itself is exciting, its vagueness both nerve-wracking and full of possibilities, possibilities Vanessa can’t wait to see unfold. It’s not going to be anything too exciting–Hell, they’ve not even kissed properly yet, barely even know each other. But they’ll keep talking, maybe even cuddle a little, and the thought of nestling into Brooke’s arms, of feeling Brooke’s heartbeat against her chest, is enough to take Vanessa’s breath away completely.

Vanessa sinks into the plush cushions of Brooke’s couch and is trying to regain her breathing when Brooke comes back with a box in her hand, taking the seat next to Vanessa and tucking her legs beneath her, the position endearing and soft, and Vanessa’s heart warms her whole body.

“So,” Brooke begins.

“So.” Vanessa echoes, and then they’re both laughing, Vanessa trying to keep hers down so she doesn’t wake Sophie.

“Um, I got you something,” Brooke says, handing her the thin box. Vanessa takes it and feels like a kid again, how she would shake the box around to guess what was inside, the breathless, top-of-the-roller-coaster feeling as she lifted the lid. The same feeling she gets being around Brooke.

“Your present-wrapping skills are better than your sewing skills,” Vanessa teases as she rips the paper with childish energy. She tugs off the lid to reveal a sketch book, the kind with thick, creamy paper, and a rainbow of colored pencils sharp enough to cut someone. She looks up at Brooke with her mouth open.

“Is it okay? I just thought maybe you could design again sometime–no pressure or anything, just if you–”

“Brooke, it’s wonderful,” Vanessa cuts her off. “I love it, really. Thank you so much.”

“I’m just glad you like it.” Brooke smiles, that same nervous smile she had when Vanessa liked her cookies. Like she wanted so badly for Vanessa to be happy.

“I have something for you too.” Vanessa reaches for the bags she put on the coffee table. She pulls out the larger box first, explaining to Brooke that it was for Sophie, a stuffed dog that looks like Riley. She places the smaller one in Brooke’s hands and holds her breath as Brooke tears the paper.

“Vanessa, it’s beautiful,” Brooke gasps. The silver necklace with its tiny ice skate charm twinkles in the Christmas tree lights. Vanessa had asked Asia in the jewelry department to rush it for her, enduring Asia’s telling-off for trying to rush her.

“I know how much you liked ice-skating,” Vanessa says. “May I?” She gestures to the necklace and Brooke nods, turning her back to Vanessa. Vanessa’s hands ghost above the smooth skin of Brooke’s neck as she fastens the necklace, an electric current hitting when she brushes a strand of Brooke’s hair, the touch making Vanessa shiver.

If someone had told her a month ago that she’d be spending Christmas Eve with a tall blonde woman who marches around like a captain one minute and clumsily drops a forkful of pecan pie in her lap the next and her adorable daughter, Vanessa would have asked for some of whatever they were smoking to make the day more interesting. But now that she’s here, she can’t imagine leaving.

“It’s really coming down out there,” Brooke says. Vanessa turns to the window, giant snowflakes floating down like cotton balls, joining the mountains of it already on the ground.

“Yeah, it is.”

Brooke bites her lip. “I’d hate to have you go out in this weather. Why don’t you stay the night?”

“You’re sure? I wouldn’t wanna impose”— never mind that there’s enough rooms to house the entire department store— “or ruin anything with Sophie.”

Brooke shakes her head. “She’ll be so happy you’re still here. And you’re not imposing. Not now, not ever.”

Vanessa nods, not arguing any further because she really doesn’t want to go, doesn’t want the night to end. Doesn’t want to have to stop looking at Brooke for another second. Not when Brooke is looking back at her with adoring eyes, misty with something Vanessa can’t puzzle out, not in words at least, but can feel, because somehow, she knows that deep in her chest, she’s feeling the same thing.

So instead, she creeps closer on the couch, Brooke’s eyes meeting hers and rivaling any display of Christmas lights.

“I have one more present for you.”

“Yeah?”

Brooke doesn’t waste a second before her lips are on Vanessa’s. The sensation is everything she fantasized and more, Brooke’s steady hands around her back and Vanessa’s flying to Brooke’s hips, their hearts correcting to beat in sync with each other. When Vanessa pulls away she can’t even speak, and notices happily that Brooke seems to be similarly losing the gift of language.

“That was…” Vanessa tries.

“Merry Christmas,” Brooke says, and Vanessa laughs, because what else can she do? There aren’t any words or phrases in the world that could say what Vanessa wants to in the moment. So instead, she pulls Brooke in for another kiss, soft and sweet and no more than a peck, really, but it’s enough, because when she leans away, Brooke is blushing,blushing (God, she looks so pretty when she’s blushing), and biting her lip as if she’s the happiest woman in the world.

Although right now, the skipping in Vanessa’s chest and butterflies in her stomach certainly indicate that she can give Brooke a run for her money as far as that title was concerned.

“Merry Christmas.” Vanessa presses up against Brooke again, pulling her close and feeling Brooke’s heartbeat against her chest, a pulsing rhythm at once new and familiar, exciting and soothing.

It’s her first Christmas with Brooke, but Vanessa knows it won’t be the last.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #akeria davenport #branjie #lesbian au #carol au #1950s au #department store meet cute #ficmas #athena2 #writworm42 #historical au #concrit welcome #submission

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