#will probably delete this tomorrow if i remember | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creationsabyss · 1 month

Text

My thoughts on the Aventurine drama

I've been inactive for a while, I was (still am) busy in real life but coming back online to post and seeing discourse about a newly crowned favorite character is disheartening. Even more so, that people are harassing other writers over a drama I feel is overblown.

I have thoughts regarding it but I'm unsure if my opinion would be appreciated. But if you'd like to peacefully talk it out with me, I'd be happy to lend an ear. I'd like to hear both sides, as meager as my opinion may be.

Oh boy, here we go.

Aventurine is a character, a fictional being born to entertain the players. He is not real. He can not be offended by what you create of him. There is no point getting upset on the behalf of a character and prioritizing fiction over a person who does actually exist.

If we do want to condemn slavery fics, why not also cancel slave reader fics? Or ones that include things such as dead dove (including yanderes in general) fics because those topics are equally terrible to condone and write about from that point of view. Or how about other characters that have similar topics in their lore. Should those also be canceled too?

*There are also folks who make problematic pieces to help cope with their own trauma. Does that mean they should be canceled too? (On that note: making a piece that holds problematic content does not always mean the person condones it in real life. Fiction is fiction for a reason.)

In the end, I think everyone can have their own opinions, but I would like to say that your opinions do not justify terrible actions. Just because you disagree with something does not justify you bullying someone into deleting one of their works, whether it is art or writing or anything else, I do not think that is justifiable. Harassing someone or calling people to harass them is not right either.

*If you did disagree with it, why not message the author about it instead of making accusatory posts? Even when done with good intentions, all it does is cause harm when it's practically inviting people to go harass someone over a fanfiction. A very mild fanfiction at that.

If you disagree with a piece, cool. That's your opinion. Just don't interact with it then. Block that creator or that tag or whatever it is that led you there. Or if you're curious, ask that creator.

Also, to reiterate, in my opinion, fiction is still just fiction. Especially when it's a fanfiction about a fictional character. Yes, his canon lore exists, but people can use that basis in fanfiction, something that will inherently warp canon because we are not the original writers and can not capture him in the exact way he was created. In case that doesn't make sense: Fanfiction does not have to comply with the original lore. Also since some of you seem to be forgetting: fiction does not mirror real life.

If you are truly that concerned over sensitive topics like that, directing that energy towards projects that involve such topics in real life would be much better than attacking people on the internet.

#Ink stained letters #I'll probably delete this #If I remember #Sometimes I forget I post stuff #aventurine x reader #The slavery fiction drama #That I have #Let's say thoughts on #Will maybe start posting stuff again #Harassing people is not it though #Isn't that a saying #Two wrongs don't make a right #What an unfortunate time to return to #Killed my will to post things #I'll still post something today or tomorrow to make up for being gone #And for this post #Also people getting mad for a character is really strange #In my opinion #The characters aren't real?#They can't get offended?#Why are we hurting real people over a character that isn't real #This is my take on the drama #Can everyone stop harassing other people over fiction #I don't find any sense in it #This is my opinion #hsr aventurine #Also from my experience #Call out posts are generally just harmful #Especially when you don't make it a secret of who you're talking about #Let people write what they want

23 notes · View notes

orbdotexe · 18 days

Text

Under pressure and request from both Osiris and Shin Malphur, Drifter seeks out the Young Wolf early in their exile. He's not sure he'd say it went well, but it certainly could've gone much, much worse. And hey; Shin was right, new friends are new friends. Alternatively: Two rogue Guardians play horse plinko with each other before agreeing to an exchange of favors.

I finally did it- A Questionably Fortunate Encounter's rewrite. I have no idea how I got the motivation to finish this, it wasn't even half done when I picked it back up, but here it is in time for TFE's (concept's) 2nd birthday! I am significantly happier with this than the original, you have no idea. It wasn't even a thousand words and now it's like 20 words from being 2k, and overall? Everything just has more character + an extra page of interaction and the end note being from Ghost instead of Drifter. and being accurate to more story details! I kept a lot of the parts i thought were funny tho, if moved them around-

[old ver. ao3] --- [new ver. ao3]

The Sundial. A ballsy idea from a mad warlock.

Knocking a few times on the side, he can’t help the chills down his spine at the whispers ringing in his ears. “If you short-circuit the universe, you’re on your own.” He snips, his already uneasy grin wavering.

“If I make a mistake here, you might cease to exist,” the old Warlock says simply, though there’s a questioning edge to it.

Drifter only shrugs. “Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.”

Osiris squints at him as Drifter moves around the machine, checking the stability. “We haven’t talked about payment.”

Drifter’s grin smooths out some, sly now. “If you live through this little experiment, you can be sure I’ll be back to collect.”

A simple ‘hm’ is the only response he gets for a few seconds, before Osiris starts again.

“There’s a Guardian you should meet.”

“Yeah, yeah, so I’ve heard. Some bigshot—Can’t wait.”

"Drifter."

—

The Warlock and that old Hunter had their points—The Young Wolf needed people on their side, and it's not like Drifter couldn't use the opportunity. He figured, if worst comes to worst, just say Osiris sent him. It seemed the best bet; he heard the two of them had been on good terms, and Osiris wouldn’t have sent him without reason.

This was, regardless, a horrible idea.

Which was very quickly weighing him down as he waited just inside their most recent hideout; a willing, sitting duck in the path of a hellhound. Then again, Shin would be waiting for him, just the same, to see if he really went through with it. A rock and a hard place, if both were unmovable walls.

—

Eventually, the Kingbreaker did show up—and they looked pissed—but they didn't seem to quite notice him, yet.

Their Ghost, on the other hand, had stopped at the door, and was switching between glaring at him, and watching its Guardian. It was a bare hope, but he almost prayed for the Little Light to let the Guardian notice him by themself—for what good it would do.

Drifter had to admit, though, they looked like Hell—In both the shit way and the eternal punishment way—And he'd quite like to keep them from being his punishment, thanks.

They were never in the same place for long, constantly tapping their fingers or wringing their hands. He'd almost call it a nervous habit; if the jerky, almost corpse-twitching movements didn't make him feel like they'd pounce on him at any given moment. It gave the distinct impression of a Taken, a fact he took no comfort in. He had told Shin they would be unpredictable, but recordings didn’t capture just how much.

The Guardian’s posture was rather slumped, in spite of their twitchiness, but he was rather certain he was a pinch taller than them; though it could be their hunch. That dead-eyed and bone-deep tiredness that seeped off of them… The Guardian stumbled whenever they walked, off-balance. Injured, maybe.

They looked as unstable on their feet as he imagined they were mentally.

He rapped his fingers on the tabletop he was leaning against, a slight knot in his stomach building on the question of ‘How to get their attention without getting pinned as a threat?’

Questionably fortunate enough, and probably should’ve been expected; the tapping made them pause, and he'd almost compare the frozen movement to their namesake freezing to listen. They nearly looked like they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't be, or as if a sudden red dot (or dozen) had appeared on their chest.

The Young Wolf then snapped to look at him, eyes narrowed and hand beginning to raise to their sword. Their Ghost noticed, and took it as a sign to speak up; "What do you think you’re doing here? Who are you?" For being the Ghost of an exile, its voice was strikingly uptight. Drifter had expected an edge to the voice, but not for it to be pedant.

"Mind your business, Ghost," he drawled. Their head jolted up a fraction. "Just want a talk with your Guardian, is all-"

Their Ghost flicked back a bit, only to be replaced by its Guardian stepping up close to him. Well… he got their attention, at least.

His gut twisted in knots as the seconds passed like that—far, far too close for comfort. "How about we just… back up for a moment, yeah? Think this all through?" Like he hadn’t. He should have told that Warlock and Shin to shove their requests back down their throats.

The Guardian tilted their head, the action more unnerving than anything else, reminding Drifter of a certain other Hunter, and he was unsure if it was an acknowledgement or a threat. They refused to look anywhere but his eyes, and he swore they leaned a bit closer.

He raises his hands to push them back a bit, but thinks better of touching them. He opts to just slide back a bit, instead– except they match his step. He does not take another one. That definitely wasn't good.

"I'll ask again: Who are you?" The Ghost hovers over its Guardian’s shoulder as they tilt their head to allow it to take the center of Drifter’s vision. Their dynamic is clear, but he tries to focus on them.

"Your old man Osiris didn't mention me?” Drifter tries to say, “I’m hurt–”

"You will be hurt–" the Ghost starts, just as the Guardian grips his collar. There’s a moment the Drifter is almost certain they were going to slam him into the wall.

"Alright, alright—” he tries to interrupt, “Just back up.”

It takes them a moment, and a couple glances between him and the Ghost, but they do back up, if not letting go of his collar. He tries to quietly let out the breath he’d been holding, nerves a bit strung. Their emotions are as on-a-dime as he thought. Damn this plan. The Ghost eyes him expectantly.

"You can call me Drifter; I run a little… operation outta the Tower." Their face somehow pulls even further in a grimace. “Now, I know how that sounds, but I’m not working with the Vanguard—Trust. Wouldn’t be here if I was: Heard about your… dislike of ‘em.”

He gives them a grin when they don’t make another move, though not optimistic. Watching every little change in their expression doesn’t give him much hope, either, given the hard line in their brow now.

"That old Phoenix of yours pointed me your way, and I figured we both could make use of the others'... skills. I've got the connections, and you've guts enough to attack your own–”

The Drifter hardly has time to blink before his back is against the wall again, this time with a knife to his throat, sharp eyes glaring down at him—So it's like that. Osiris might've downplayed the sore spot; Drifter can’t even get away with a tease. He’s good at pushing buttons, but their reservations broke immediately.

He counts by the seconds as the Young Wolf silently dares him to say it again.

While he decidedly opts not to and tries to think of a way to de-escalate his mistake, he has… an inane thought: They’re taller than him… Not by too much, but the thought gives him an idea potentially worse than even the meeting itself was; something mischievous glinting in his eye and, as an added bonus, giving the Guardian pause.

"...Kinky." Feeling their hold loosen somewhat and seeing their brow twitch, Drifter pushes the joke with a sly grin and a cant to the side. “I didn’t realize you swung like that, Killer…”

Drifter’s eyes flick towards the Ghost at the undoubtably horrified, near-static chiming it makes as it rapidly recoils. “Are you… trying to flirt your way out of this–”

The Guardian’s expression seems of someone entirely bewildered by a puzzle in front of them. As they loosened their hold in what he could only assume was disbelief, Drifter had to stop himself from laughing—in relief, at the absurdity, or at their reaction.

“Nahh… Just seizing an opportunity, you’d understand,” he says, as nonchalantly as he can manage. There’s a moment of silence, the Guardian and their Ghost both searching his face, and it's everything he can do not to break—Either into a sweat or into a fit of laughter.

"...what the hell is wrong with you?" is the only response he got from the Ghost, the top fold of its shell covering half its eye. Drifter can only assume it's meant to be a mimicry of a dead-stare.

"Many things!” He gives a toothy grin that splits his face as he chuckles, “Next question."

The Ghost makes a show of rolling its eye, while the Guardian still looks like their mind has shattered, eyes seeming to search the wall through him for answers. The Ghost seems to take notice of its Guardian’s… inoperable state, and pipes up again, terse, “So what do you want?”

He’s really going to have to cut a deal with the Ghost, instead, isn’t he? As Drifter slowly tugs the Guardian’s hand from his collar—which they thankfully do not resist—he gives the Ghost the greasiest side-eye he can manage. “Well, as I was saying before your Guardian interrupted me,” it mimics narrowing its eye as he speaks. “I hear you two need friends, and, well, I’m always looking for more of those.”

“Just get to the point,” the Ghost pushes, tone flat. The Guardian seems to only vaguely be paying attention.

“Them and I could both use the support, so I suggest an… exchange.”

“An exchange? What is that– You mean, glimmer?” The Ghost interrupts itself with flicking its shell around itself and letting out a short chirr. “Information? We have nothing you’d want in that.”

“Nah, I don’t want any of that. If anything, I’m offering—You two just gotta do some favors for me in return. How’s that sound?” At the mention of favors, the Guardian refocuses; eyes widening some before narrowing and scanning him in search of some catch. “Just a job or two; you scratch my back, I scratch yours, yeah? Nothing you wouldn’t already do, of course.”

At the skeptical, almost blank looks from both of them, Drifter’s grin tightens some. “Favor for favor make sense to you?” He’s tempted to ask if they’ve got cotton in their ears. The pair take a long glance at each other, and he can only see the slight twitching in both’s expressions.

“...And how do we know we can trust you?” Finally comes an answer, again from the Ghost, but one that’s more assuring than it probably should be.

“Your old man asked me here, didn’t I say? I wouldn't risk this without a good word.” That, or without Shin over his shoulder. He turns his eye back to its Guardian and offers them a hand, “So, whaddya say? Give it a shot, hotshot?”

The Ghost trills in some semblance of worry as the Guardian cautiously eyes him and his hand, body canted away from him, before hesitantly taking his hand. Their hold is slight and feels like they would rather writhe away from him, but they hold just long enough to shake his hand.

“Heyy, don’t be like that, now. Friends take care of friends, yeah? Trust.” The Guardian grimaces at his words. Maybe that odd adage of insects had a bit more truth to it than he realized.

They’re more scared of you than you are of them?

—

Hours later, the Drifter far gone, and his Guardian was still kind of distracted. Honestly, Ghost would be lying if he said he wasn’t mind-broke by that as well. Who, in any sane state of mind, would do any of that? Sneak into an ill exile’s hideout, startle and piss them off, and then try to make a deal?

And why did it… actually work?

Ghost must be losing it.

#idk the pacing might be slightly off still in some places but i like it!#i could hardly stand to read the old version anymore so being able to compare them side by side? im not very easy on myself about these #things but. DAMN ive gotten a lot better huh #i would probably delete the old ver but. idk people might like something in there that i didnt put in this ver so itll stay up #the forsaken exile #destiny 2 #anyway yeah im very asleep as this is being posted bc i scheduled it for the minute discord says that message was originally sent #so like. 5:54am. and i dont have to get up at that time tomorrow so im... just not lmao #god. ive been brainrotting about an exile timeline for Destiny for two years...#i am actually ill i think. NOT sane behavior #but hey! i wouldve never gotten back into writing after not touching it since like. early middle school or smth (?? honestly dont remember)#if not for this AU. beloved #im not sure words can describe how important this thing is to me. aaaaaaaaaaaaa #eepy and getting sappy now. time to shut up!!!#anyway yeah Shin knew (or. thought he knew. its *Shin*) Drifter would get attached. the old snake fell for #the oldest trick in the book (forced exposure -> eventually friendly)#(Shin did not consider that thats not really how that works but thats okay)#i feel i should clarify. bc there isnt really much of a way to tell-- Osiris talks to Drifter first. and THEN Shin talks to him.#we be havin canon lore problems now huh...

16 notes · View notes

pyrriax · 1 month

Text

hi everyone remind me to never look at deviantart again

#haunted ecosystem #probably jsut take this post at face value tags are if youre really curious 👍#i was trying to find something. immediately got blasted with a person who i did not want confirmation was out of prison is out #if im weird the next few days this has been an un-fun experience 👍i just wanted to look for some furry bases ok not. dread.#i just wanted to work on beest & saturn </3 #actually feel nauseous ah this is going to be fun im going to go. draw things. do something. i need to get rid of this dread #why did he fucking follow my new account there? why? didnt he get enough? didnt he fucking get enough god i.#sorry chat im feeling things and if i remember this later i'll probably delete these tags but i need to just put this somewhere #im not a kid anymore i can handle this i shouldnt be this scared but fuck i am. maybe it wasnt just paranoia! joy joy joy oh joy!#tomorrow will be better tomorrow i'll forget about this and i'll move on like i never saw it and i'll continue being happy #i have people that love and care about me and that i talk to every day i have people that i trust and know i can rely on #i don't have to be scared anymore i don't need to worry i'll be fine and that has to be true because things are better now

3 notes · View notes

arolesbianism · 3 months

Text

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought)#but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont)#man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

2 notes · View notes

the-kipsabian · 2 years

Text

i just woke up and im already sad

#got back into that mindset of knowing im gonna be alone on my birthday #with the vet bills dont even have money to do anything or order the stuff i originally wanted #my wife will be out of the country that weekend too #she promised me a cake the weekend after that tho. and 7th and 8th there'll be a lot of wrestling to watch #coworker promised me cake that friday but. yeah thats about it. nobody really remembers or cares when you turn 30 #im old im miserable im gonna drink my stupid bitter bean juice and do nothing all day woo #sorry im just. its less than two weeks away and i have nothing to look forward to thats special to me #i got kip in the mail but he'll be here tomorrow and thats it. and that wasnt even a birthday gift #i hate turning years old it just reminds me how little the world actually cares that im here #i'll probably just delete this later sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

5 notes · View notes

steampoweredskeleton · 3 months

Text

. Ignore

#delete later #theres gunk in my lungs and i feel it crackling abd i want it fuckin GONE so here i am laid on my side with my hips raised #above my chest so it hopefully dislodges abd it is working but feeld SO GROSS and is not helping the sinus headache #ive never had crackly coughs as far as i cab remember abd oh my god theysuck???#my little sisyer gets ill a lot abd thibgs settle in her chest real easy abd all i can say is that sje is a STRONGER PERSON THAN ME #when it comes to illnesses #i hate this shit #ive emailed to let my manaher know i cant commute in tomorrow and ill see if i can sit upright long enough to work from home in the morning #im not sure i will. honestly even if i do i may call in sick anyway bc this fatigue is unreal #im always exhausted #i lie down multiple times a day snd if i dont thwn I'm fucked the next couppe of days #but this is next level #dizzy and shaky WHILST LAID DOWN #that was when my temperature was fucked tbf. that stopped this morninh thank god. we'd gotten to the three day #start to be concerned window but it stopped so we're fine #i also looked up chest infection advice bc thats what my flatmate reckons it is and got told that unless i can't breathe or its #been over a week to just rest #as it's probably viral too and caused by the illness my flatmate has. antibiotics dont work on that type #so unless fever comes back im gonna be waiting for improvements

0 notes

wantonglances · 5 months

Text

anyone up, I'm drunk and crying anout Gale Dekarios

#probably won't remember to delete this tomorrow morning #HE REALLY SAID. 'I can see why I loved you'#wine drunk really goes from Happy Bouncy Self to The Pain

1 note · View note

running-in-the-dark · 5 months

Text

I've seen the first three episodes of Leverage: Redemption now, and I think I like it?

I don't like that Hardison isn't there. that really feels very bad and wrong to me. I miss him. it's not the same without him, they're not the same without him.

I like the kid and the lawyer guy. but they're new so I'm not attached to them yet. it was different in the first show because everyone was new and the whole dynamic wasn't established yet. new things? fine. change? ahhhhhh no please no

(also everyone (except Nate) was perfect and they fit together so well and nothing felt off about the whole thing, so I guess it's a bit unfair to compare that)

Sophie is still Sophie, that's good. the grief thing makes me sad so I don't like it but I'm glad she's there.

Eliot's the same but softer (physically and in the way he acts) and I looove it. he's still my baby boy but better. he's great he's perfect I love him etc. would watch this show no matter what as long as he's right.

Parker is. hm. I don't know. something is a bit off. maybe it's just that she's older and the way she used to be feels a bit strange now (I still love her, I just need to get used to it I think). her voice is different and her face is different and I need time to adjust.

I like the kid, I like that she's Hardison's sister, I just don't know how I feel about her being so inexperienced and all that. it makes me nervous. with the others it always felt like they'd figure something out no matter what happens, with her I'm worried. though I do like Eliot (and the others) interacting with her.

and the lawyer guy is just. fine. he's there, he's nice enough, he's not Nate, so I'm happy for now.

I do kind of feel very old watching this. like, I don't know, I don't get it? I was a teenager when the first show was made (though I only just watched it for the first time), so everything felt familiar and it just made sense. now it's. I don't know. it's fine, again I probably just need to adjust. I don't watch too many recent shows that are set in the real world and right now, so maybe it's that.

one thing that I don't really like so far is that it's so... I don't know, like 'everything is SO BAD now'. which, it absolutely is. but I'm not watching this to be informed about the current state of the world or to be reminded how fucking bleak everything is, I want to escape from that. but I guess it makes sense for the show/it's kind of the point, and hopefully it won't make me feel awful all the time, so it should be fine.

#idk the first one just sort of felt like a really nice break from reality. things were bad and people did bad things but they were there to #make it better #I don't want to hear how bad it is just make it better #idk that's probably just me.#and a random thing I can't stop noticing: Eliot (still) shaves his arms #they look soooo smooth. I need to touch them. just. to see if they feel as smooth as they look. it's important and I need to know.#it's distracting lol (I could just stop staring at his arms but it's not physically possible unfortunately. can't do it my eyes won't let m #in conclusion: I like that there's more of my favourite characters. I don't like change.#I wish they'd gotten a million more seasons of the first show but this is the next best thing so I'm glad it exists #also if they don't get a third season I will lose my mind. and it better be soon because I don't want to see my boy get beat up when he's #in his mid/late 50s 😭#why do I have so much to say about this show #and why did I think it wS a good idea to write thiy when I'm almost asleep. not smart #but when am I ever smart #okay it's bedtime for me now (it's 7 in the morning....). need to stop staying up for over 20 hours it's a really bad idea.#man I'm so stupid. anyway. I'm gonna go think about eliot and his smooth smooth arms now and hppe that I can sleep 🤷#personal #I hope I'll remember to delete this tomorrow (I won't)#leverage #leverage redemption

1 note · View note

nasa-is-shaking · 8 months

Text

Holy Fuck Guys

Losing my shit rn cause I finally found my old best friend after five years of no contact and no clues?? I found her Instagram but it's the middle of the night and I don't want to text her and omg I am actually losing my mind-

#im gonna text her tomorrow but omg??#like what do i say #oh hi! you probably don't remember me but we were basically sisters from 3rd-6th grade until you switched schools and we stopped skyping #and then you deleted skype and I haven't been able to reach but im back haha <3 #like how insane does that sound??#shit post #my real life #shitpost #she looks so happy I'm gonna cry #moth's chatter

0 notes

piplupod · 8 months

Text

hmmmmm. sorting through things in the brain and memories coming to the forefront from grade school and oooh boy i do not like that. things make so much sense but it doesnt paint a pretty picture!

#ignorance truly is bliss #just ... seeing patterns in the behaviour i exhibited and didnt remember exhibiting until recently #things I'd repressed A Lot so i didnt shrivel up and die from remembering it fhfkdl #nothing that was done to me mind u fhfkdl its all just things i did either in general or how i was unkind to others #bc i did not ... understand that ppl had thoughts and feelings until like... grade 5 🧍 what the fuck dude what happened there #and then in grade 6 or 7 i finally realized that reality exists & that everything i did was permanent and this was not a story i was reading #like. idk how to explain it. it was just straight up and down hardcore dissociation ig #very very very strong dissociation for years and years and years though. still ongoing but i remind myself more often that reality exists #still catch myself thinking that things cant happen bc it wouldnt make sense with ''the plot'' as if this is all a prewritten story lmfao #CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS MY THIRD TIME WRITING THIS POST BC THE OTHER TWO TIMES I OVERSHARED MORE LMFAOOOO #this is as good as i can do for not oversharing Toooo much djdkdl #anyways. I'll delete this tomorrow probably but WHAT THE FUCK MANNN WHY WAS I LIKE THAT AS A KID GODDAMN #constantly wondering what the fuck happened to me but i Dont Get To Know :o)))) those are locked behind a wall from me dbfjkdsl #shaking the bars of the cage bc i want to know i want to understand !!!! but also that would probably destroy me so... urrgh. frustrating #tfw u crave knowledge and understanding but cannot handle the terrifying mind melting truth of it all 😔#pippen needs 2nd breakfast

0 notes

techs-cyarika · 1 year

Text

The overwhelming urge to show off the lingerie I got because I look so god damn good in it 😭

#something about the flesh is willing but the soul is not?#lmao I don’t remember what the post said #but basically I wanna have my Hoe phase #or be called pretty #lmao I’m probably deleting this post tomorrow

0 notes

bkgml · 1 year

Note

MORE EX BF BAKUGO STUFFS PLSSSSSS

actually my fav trope it’s an illness 🙈

*incoming call from kirishima*

is the notification lighting up your screen.

it’s 3am, is what the clock is telling you as you crack an eye open while groaning.

“fuck.” you whine as you grab your phone, sliding your thumb to the answer button.

“hello?” you croak, still tired from sleep.

you hear an uneasy sigh from the other line.

“uhm. hey yn. it’s kirishima.” he says.

you can hear the urgency in his voice even though he’s desperately trying to hide it.

“hi kirishima. why are you calling me?” you say as politely as you can for it being 3 in the morning.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry. bakugou got in an accident, it’s bad.” he says and your heart drops.

“that sucks, i’m sorry. we’re broken up though. so uh… what does this have to with me?” you ask timidly.

“is that her? let me fucking talk to her!” you hear the voice of your ex boyfriend in the background.

“i don’t want to talk to him.” you say calmly.

you hear a sigh from the other end followed by a ‘hang on’.

“i know. the situation is complicated though, can you let me explain?” he asks and you can hear the pleads in his tone.

you pause before speaking.

“…alright fine.” you breathe.

“thanks. bakugou man im going in the bathroom for a second!” he calls to katsuki.

you hear rustling and shouting before the click of a doorknob.

“okay. he needs you.” he says slowly, cautiously.

“kirishima-“ you frown.

“i know.” he cuts in.

“we got attacked by villains today and he got hit with a memory loss quirk.”

“so… what does he remember?” you whisper.

“pretty much everything important. except…”

you stay silent while you wait in anticipation for his response.

“the breakup.”

your breath hitches.

“kirishima, open the fucking door! i need to talk to her!”

you can hear the pounding.

the pounding on the door.

along with the pounding of your heart in your ears.

“yn. he needs you. i know this is awful to ask of you. we don’t know how long this will last and in his mind, the love of his life is refusing to see him after he’s been injured. please come. please.”

the pounding continues.

“yn! baby, can you hear me? what did i do?? just let me talk to you. kirishima let me talk to her!”

he’s pleading through the door. like he was on your last night together.

“fuck. fine. i’ll be there in ten but i want all of you to delete my number after this.” you say as you rip the covers off your body in annoyance.

you walk up the stairs of your ex boyfriends apartment building, where you left your heart six months ago.

you knock on the door and kirishima half opens it, restricting you from bakugou.

“hey. thank you for this.” he says, quietly.

you switch your weight on your feet and glance at you hands.

“yeah… what do i need to do exactly?” you sigh.

kirishima clears his throat awkwardly.

“well. knowing him he will probably kick me out so it’ll just be the two of you. since he has no memory he’ll probably act however he would after a fight with you.” he replies.

“so he’s going to kiss and hug me?” you frown, raking a hand through your hair.

kirishima sighs before the two of you hear loud footsteps, barreling towards you.

“baby?! hey, what did i do? hm? come inside.” bakugou mumbles out, reaching for your arms.

you smile weakly before you’re being pulled into the apartment by your wrist.

he brings the two of you to sit on the couch and you look at kirishima.

“act natural!” he mouths to you.

“hey, suki.” you softly say, nickname foreign on your tongue.

“did we get in a fight?” he asks.

you gulp, playing with your fingers.

“yeah. kind of.” you reply.

he huffs to himself.

“i cant fucking remember. i still cant. damn quirk should’ve worn off by now.” he glares at his coffee table, arms crossed.

you hesitate but eventually place your hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles into his skin.

he looks at you softly.

“can we fight tomorrow when i remember? just wanna sleep with you.” he whispers, frown present on his face.

you sigh, taking a moment to think to yourself.

“okay, katsuki.” you smile wearily.

he leans forward to press soft kisses to your lips.

you exhale into the kiss, bringing your hand up to cup his face.

he shift to kiss down your neck before nuzzling into it.

“okay guys, i’m still here.” kirishima says awkwardly.

you laugh lightly and katsuki frowns at him.

“are you stayin over?” katsuki asks. he’s familiar with kirishima needing to stay the night after dangerous missions. his own home seeming too empty and dark.

kirishima nods and katsuki stands from the couch, pulling you with him.

“night.” the boys say to each other as kirishima settles on the couch and katsuki pulls you to his room.

you look behind you and kirishima sends you a comforting smile.

as soon as the door shut behind the two of you, you felt katsukis hands under your arms until he tosses you on his bed.

you laugh lightly, your mind feeding you bittersweet memories of moments just like this one.

katsuki crawls up the bed until he reaches your stomach, flopping down onto you and burying his face into your shirt.

“hi.” you say sweetly.

soon your shirt is lifted and he’s pressing open mouthed kisses into your skin.

“hi. ‘m sorry we fought. love you.” he mumbles, lifting himself on his forearms and crawling higher up on your body.

you nod. failing to reciprocate his love.

he frowns and sucks the skin under your collarbone.

“love you.” he repeats again, frown on his face.

“kats-.” you whine, voice breaking.

“what’s going on? was our fight bad?” he soothes, rubbing circles into your cheek with his thumb.

you feel your tears bubble over as you nod.

going to wipe your tears before he could see them. he beat you to it, kissing them away then pressing a warm kiss to your temple.

“it’s over now, yeah?” he asks.

you whimper and tuck your face into his neck.

“i want it to be but when your memory comes back you’re gonna leave me again.” you cry, fisting his shirt while tripping over your words.

he shushes you, bringing a hand to the back of your head and scratching your back.

“it’s okay, sweet thing. we’re okay.” he whispers against your neck.

“just go to sleep, yeah?”

you nod hesitantly and katsuki rolls onto his back with you clinging on.

you cuddle up sweetly on his chest and he scratches your back until you drift off.

“are we broken up?” katsuki asks shakily.

kirishima turns to see katsuki standing in the doorway.

“uhhhh. i don’t think you and me were ever together.” kirishima laughs uncomfortably.

“you know what i fucking mean.”

kirishima groans, dragging a hand down his face.

“i’m trying to stay out of this.” he frowns.

bakugou clenches his fists.

“i deserve to know.”

“katsuki?” you call from the bedroom.

“you’re telling me tomorrow.” he frowns at kirishima.

kirishima nods in reply and katsuki walks back into the bedroom.

“hi sweets.” he smiles, climbing into bed with you and kissing your neck.

you scratch at the base of his hairline in appreciation.

“why’d you go?” you ask softly.

he knows you’re trying not to sound scared.

even though you both know you were a little tense.

“my memory’s still gone.” he smiles, giving you soft kisses.

“just needed some water.” he says against your lips.

“mmm.” you hum into the kiss, relief washing over you.

“let’s lay down, yeah?”

“i cant.” you sputter, gasping through sobs.

his hands are on your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

you shake your head while stepping back, using your hands to push at his chest.

“baby.” he reasons.

“you can’t call me that.” you whine.

“i love you so much, just sleep here with me.” he pleads.

you wrap your hands around his wrists and tug his hand from your face harshly.

“is that you talking? or the commission?” you say coldly.

his face turns solemn, allowing his arms to drop.

“i just want you to be safe.” he whispers.

you fist his shirt.

“you keep me safe.” you cry, tears flowing freely.

he wraps his arms around you, tightly.

“the commission doesn’t think so, sweets.” he replies, his own eyes filling with tears.

you watch as the love of your life’s memory comes back.

and he watches while yours fill with tears.

you grab onto his shirt with the tightest grip you can muster.

“please don’t go, katsu.” you whimper.

his face morphs into the familiar face that plagues your dreams.

“no.” you plead.

“no. no. no.”

he drops his head so his face is in your neck.

“i need you safe. you’re not safe when you’re with me.” you feel tears on your neck.

“i don’t wanna be safe. i want you.”

he brings his head up to look at you.

“i want you too.” you smile through your tears at his words.

he kisses your cheeks softly.

“but we can’t be together, baby. at least not for now.” he says, pressing his forehead to yours.

the two of your cry together, entangled in each others embraces.

until you fall asleep, dried tears on your faces and his lips on your forehead.

part 2

#bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou x yn #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader

3K notes · View notes