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cathalbravecog · 10 months

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Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

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kaatiba · 1 year

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15 Questions 15 Mutuals (/Followers)

tagged by @samplewriting (thank you!) and tagging: @malglories, @faytelumos, @treesandwords, whoever is seeing this and wants to play!

(no obligation or expectation to if you’d rather not!)

Are you named after anyone?

Yup, one of the first martyrs in Islam. I definitely think this is the reason for certain tendencies of mine

When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago, off and on for about four hours lol

Do you have kids?

Nope. I like the idea of having kids but not so sure about carrying them nor being responsible for doing right by them for their entire lives.

Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah lol, but I try not to be mean at someone with it.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Mmmm how they look? I’m a visual learner and I have a visual based memory. I remember faces more than anything else. I recognize strangers I’ve never spoken to after years sometimes.

What's your eye color?

Dark brown. My sis and dad have the type of brown eyes that go tawny in the sun, it’s very cool. Mine are too dark for that.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! Scary movies linger with me for too long, and I make it a point not to watch kdramas, for example, if they don’t have happy endings. Otherwise I’ll be sad for a good long while.

Any special talent?

Uh......I don’t think so? Oh, I can wiggle my ears lol.

Where were you born?

In my childhood home, which is the more interesting answer :P

What are your hobbies?

Writing og works and fic (though it should probably be ‘writing’), crochetting (newbie at it tho!), reading, watching k-dramas, learning Korean, collecting kpop albums, swimming, walking (that’s totally a hobby), teaching English (also another hobby)

Have you any pets?

One rescue cat from Dubai. I love her. Used to have a lovebird (also a rescue) but she passed away a few years ago. I also used to have three cockatiels, but two escaped and were never found, and the third we returned to his mom because he was lonely without his siblings.

What sports do you play/have played?

Used to play soccer (badly). That’s about it. If I could go back in time I’d do track maybe.

How tall are you?

5’7”

Favorite subject in school?

In high school: English! Very typical of me I know. My Gr. 12 social studies course was also amazing though, due to the coolest teacher in the world who got us all super engaged. My favourite uni courses was my Shakespeare course with one specific professor (I literally took like, 5 of his different Shakespeare courses and later got the opportunity to vote him for head of the English department or something like that).

Dream job?

I do not dream of labour fr fr. But since I live in a capitalist hellscape society: something that allows me to work from home with minimal oversight so I can live abroad/in a cottage somewhere, not be tied down to an office, can set my own hours, and get paid a living wage without having to commit to useless hours where I do nothing because my actual tasks only take 2 to 3 hours max.

...I’m bitter and burnt out, if you couldn’t tell, even though my current job is the best I’ve ever had. (I work in a library).

#kaatiba.speaks #tag meme

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sirrriusblack · 3 years

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Hiiii! I really like your writing and asked one before annnd I'm here again with another idea? I guess? Lol so um how about writing a Hogwarts graduation party and Sirius and Remus are so excited to go with eachother? They are getting ready separated all day and will meet at the ball.. I would really like to read a Hogwarts graduation ball from you. Thank you already and don't forget that you're amazing 💞💞

Thank you!! This is super late and way longer than I meant it to be lol,, but I hope you like it! And I’m sorry!

* * *

“Lily, stop. I’m not wearing it.” Remus stomped his foot and turned from Lily. She rolled her eyes at his dramatic display and put a hand on Remus’ shoulder to spin him. He glared down at the eyeliner pencil in her hand. She looked at him until he locked eyes with her.

“Remus, please?” He shook his head. “Okay how about this. I put it on, you hate it, we take it off. Piece of cake.” Remus raised his eyebrows at Lily. “But,” she continued, “if you like it, we keep it. Yeah? It’s a win-win situation,” she finished, smiling. It was Remus’ turn to roll his eyes.

“Fine,” he said. “Fine, But I’m going to hate it.” Lily just nodded and motioned for Remus to sit.

* * *

“Jamie, which shirt?” Sirius held up two white shirts, both of which looked identical in James’ opinion.

“What?” he asked. Sirius blinked.

“Which shirt?” he repeated. James furrowed his brows, pulling on his robes and straightening the collar. He looked at the shirts again.

“They’re the same shirt,” he said, the sentence more a question than a statement. Sirius sputtered.

“They’re—James—no—are you kidding me—they are nothing alike!” he finally spat out. James’ eyes widened behind his glasses. “This one,” Sirius said, shoving his right arm forward, “has lace trimming!” He widened his eyes. James flinched and cringed away from the lace but from the look Sirius gave him, he stood straight again.

“Lace,” he said skeptically and Sirius rolled his eyes. He pulled the dress shirt on, though, and started working at the buttons. James went back to fixing his collar.

* * *

Remus didn’t hate the eyeliner. He so much did not hate it. Lily was grinning down at him from where she was standing above his seated figure, holding the mirror up in front of him. He kept blinking, not quite used to...well, liking himself. He said as much to Lily, who flicked him.

“Shut up, Lupin, you’re hot,” she said, pulling the mirror away from him and placing it back on her bedside table. Remus scoffed. “No, really,” she said. “Plenty of the girls in our year have had a crush on you,” she finished, shoving the makeup drawer closed. Remus decided he didn’t want to talk about it. Not when only one person mattered tonight.

Remus was new to all of this—all of...Sirius. So far they’d shared an awkward conversation full of gay epiphanies, a broom closet or two and snatches of the empty dorm walls where they could share breaths and tangled limbs. They hadn’t been on a real, literal, actual date yet. Remus felt jittery. On edge. Full of hope. Lily laughed at the glint in his eyes. He flicked those said eyes over to her.

“What?” he asked, trying to sound bitter but failing with the sweet thought of Sirius on his mind. Lily grinned wider and leaned toward the mirror, pinning back a stray piece of hair.

“Nothing,” she mused, “I just...” she paused for a moment and only when her hair was successfully pinned back did she continue. “It’s finally happening,” she settled on. Remus furrowed his brow. “Remus and Sirius. Seventh year. About time,” she said. Remus laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Says you, Miss ‘I’d rather date the giant squid,” he said, and Lily grimaced. “Miss ‘never in a million years, Potter.” Miss ‘you’re a right gi—“

“I get it,” Lily cut in, flicking Remus again despite the amusement dancing in her eyes. “But look at us, huh? Lupin and Evans, going to the ball with Potter and Black.” Remus grinned, not able to help it. He was happy. Despite the war, despite the nearing full moon, despite everything, he was happy.

* * *

“Oh shit, hold on,” Sirius said, sticking a hand to James’ chest to stop him in his tracks. Sirius turned back and ran into the dorm, reappearing with his wand before quickly tucking it into the eccentric braided updo he’d configured earlier. James gave Sirius’ wrist a small tug.

“We’re gonna be late, Padfoot,” he comaplined, looking down the stairs. “And I have an extremely smoking hot redhead waiting for me—ow!” He yelled when Sirius hit his wrist. “What in Merlin’s name was that for?” he asked, following Sirius when he started down the stairs.

“‘Smoking hot’? Don’t be a dick,” Sirius said, straightening his dress robes. James scoffed.

“I was complimenting her,” he said, but cringed at the immediate defense. Sirius did too.

“So say her eyes are pretty, don’t objectify her,” Sirius retorted. They’d reached the bottom of the steps while James was muttering an apology.

* * *

Lily and Remus were waiting for the both of them outside the doors to the Great Hall when they got there. The first thing anyone said came from James.

“Hey, Lilypad, sorry for objectifying you,” he said. Lily raised an eyebrow while Sirius looked smug.

“You’re bout 6 years too late for that, Potter, but I’ll take it,” she said. Sirius barked a laugh, nudging James. Sirius. Oh wow.

Sirius in his dress robes was...really something. His dark hair was braided back into a twisted bun, loose enough for a few strands of it to fall around his face. His face. Merlin, Sirius’ face was so fucking pretty. His eyelashes casting light shadows on his face when he blinked, his lips quirked up in a smirk at James and Lily, the eyeliner darkening his eyes, it was all too much. No, it was enough. More than enough. Remus shook his wrist like the movement might clear his head. He looked back over to Sirius and did quite the opposite. His head was flooded with every shared touch, every breath hot against his skin, every fingernail dug into his back—he blinked. Blinked again. Sirius walked forward.

“Hey,” he whispered, looking Remus up and down. Remus smiled at the wink Sirius threw him. “Is that eyeliner?” he asked, a hint of approval in his voice. Another couple walked by, opening the Great Hall doors and letting some music out with it. Remus hadn’t realised that Sirius might be... affected by how he looked. He knew Lily looked stunning, he could understand why James was still half-frozen in front of her, just taking her in.

Her hair fell down around her shoulders, the top half tied back in twists and braids Remus was sure even Sirius would be jealous of. The dark green dress she was wearing was really it though. It matched her eyes and hugged her body, flaring out just slightly at the hips, reaching down to her ankles to where she was wearing a golden pair of heels, the thin straps buckled all over her ankles. The gold paired nicely with the green of the dress and she had on golden make up, a golden bracelet and, a necklace that Remus hadn’t seen before. It had a golden snitch on it. Remus smirked, knowing that would have been from James, knowing he doesn’t play seeker whatsoever so it was a stupid idea. Lily grinned when she caught Remus’ eye, though, and reached her hand up to touch the necklace, almost unknowingly. Remus smiled and turned back to Sirius.

“Lily made me,” he said. It was partly the truth. Sirius loosed a breath, grinning.

“Well I am... glad she did,” he said, and Remus laughed. He reached out for Sirius’ hands, taking them in his inbetween them. His eyes tracked the rings, glinting on his fingers, the dark polish that adorned his nails, down to the cuffs of Sirius’ dress shirt. He smiled.

“Is that lace?” he asked, fiddling with the lace trimming on his cuffs. Sirius smiled proudly.

“Prongs didn’t want me to wear it,” he said, shooting James a glare. James was too entranced in Lily’s eyes to notice. They were mumbling to each other, all soft smiles and light touches. Remus smiled and turned back to Sirius.

“I’m glad you did,” he said, and Sirius smiled back. He reached his arm forward to brush a curl from Remus’s eyes and Remus shuddered. “Come on,” he said and pulled Sirius after him. Sirius obliged and tapped James’ shoulder, getting both his and Lily’s attention. They opened the doors together.

* * *

Remus’ face shone in the blue lighting as him and Sirius swayed to the song playing in the Great Hall. That eyeliner was doing things to Sirius. Things he’d been suppressing all damn night. Seventh year. It was seventh year and they were graduating and Sirius was holding Remus in his arms. Remus smiled slightly, wrapping his arms tighter around Sirius’ neck and pulling him closer. The few inches of space between them was gone, and Sirius positively melted. Remus’ tawny curls were nestled against Sirius’ neck, his scarred fingers running patterns back and forth smoothly along Sirius’ throat. Sirius lifted one hand from Remus’ hip and ran his fingers through those curls, soft and tangled in his hands. Remus moved his head back only enough to look Sirius in the eyes. When he spoke, his voice was strained from the yelling and singing from the night.

“I’m happy,” Remus said simply. Sirius couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. Remus smiled back in result of it. They were so close their noses were almost touching when Sirius whispered back.

“Me too.” Remus closed the gap between them, pulling his hands tighter around Sirius’ neck and still swaying them slowly to the music. Remus tasted like punch and salted cashews and his lips were soft against Sirius’. Sirius really was happy. He was so, inexplicably happy. When Remus pulled away, Sirius twirled him, warranting an unexpected laugh that Sirius felt all over once Remus’ chest was back against his. Sirius glanced over to James and Lily, seated at one of the tables and laughing. Seventh year was good, but Sirius was sure that the next few were going to be even better.

#dont ask how remus got into lily’s room #also im not sure where peter is i uh #kinda just forgot he existed honestly #also this is so late #like extremely late #im so sorry #but thank you!!#marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #marauders #jily #kinda #marauders era fanfiction #wolfstar fanfiction #my writing #:)

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discotreque · 4 years

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LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGGTGGGTGQER;LBHAOIBVNV;OAPBIJNVagr;h;oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lwd spoilers #lower decks spoilers #lower decks #amy's episode notes

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

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Humans are Space Orcs, “Cowboy.”

Wanted to try something new. Aliens meet different ways of living. Was trying to really capture the small town farming feel in this one. Granted I grew up in and near places like this but was from the burbs technically, so, lol, hopefully I did it justice.

The sky over Jakar was a light violet purple.

Strings of long striated clouds cut across the sky at intervals looking like the ripples you see on the face of a sand dune. The Sun hadn’t yet risen hiding just below the distant horizon. The air around them was warm, but not tropical, rather moderate.

Standing on the loading ramp to the Harbinger and staring out over the strange moon, they could see for miles and miles onto the unbroken horizon. Under the purple sky, there were no trees or rocks, just acres and acres of evenly spaced crops gently rolling over minute hills and shallow divots in the earth. A gently wind blew up from their front rolling over the ground and bringing with it the cool moist scent of fertile dirt.

The sun inched upwards over the horizon, casting a honeyed yellow glow over an unbroken sea of green. With the engines of the ship off, and not a soul in sight, the scene before them was absolutely silent, almost surreal.

As they watched, a ripple of wind blew up from their right churning the green sea before them into a stormy sea. The plant stalks rolled in waves under the slow push of the wind, which, when it reached them, brought the subtle whisper of leaves brushing over each other.

All together, if they closed their eyes, they could almost imagine the sound of a distant sea.

Both Krill and sunny were riveted to that quiet morning in fascination.

They had never known a thing to be so beautiful, so quiet.

And even though the land was touched by man, the quiet serenity almost had them forgetting that fact.

They stood like that for many minutes, enjoying the silence until a distant sound rose up from the horizon.

Krill craned his neck and Sunny shaded her eyes.

It can in beats of four, a rhythmic thudding of…. something .

They were alerted by the dust cloud, brown tinged purple rising up from the right.

Looking a little longer,they watched as a very strange creature galloped towards them. The animal had four legs, a long snout, a thick neck, and streams of long hair flying from it’s head and rump. THe joints of its front legs faced the wrong direction.

Krill shifted back up the ramp a little ways.

The beats of the animal’s feet grew louder as it got closer, and only then was Krill able to see that, to his shock and dismay, there was a human riding astride it’s back, just casually sitting atop the one ton beast as if it was nothing bouncing up and down with the animal’s jostling movements.

He stared dumbstruck alongside Sunny as the human pulled to a stop gently tugging at the contraption which had been fixed around the animal’s head.

A familiar tawny, and black dog came chasing after her tail wagging, her ears perked.

Waffles skidded to a slow trot and began frantically sniffing through the nearby plot of plants.

Sunny and Krill stepped forward as the human, turned to look at them, restings his hands against his upper thighs as the beast lowered it’s head to sniff at the ground.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Sunny asked the commander.

“A better question is what the hell are you riding.” Krill could already tell this day was going to make him angry, “Aren't you well aware that falling off that thing could kill you, not to mention if it decided to cave your head in with its feet.”

Commander Vir pulled the patterned cloth triangle down from around his face, eyes mostly shadowed by the brim of the very dorky hat he was wearing. The shirt he had on was long sleeve and mid range blue in color with a collar, and matching jeans with a very strange set of heeled boots.

“Forgot you've never seen a horse before.”

He kicked one of his feet up over the top the back of the creature and let himself gently down onto the dirt.

The large animal turned it’s massive head, nudging him in the chest with it’s soft pink snout.

He smiled and rubbed it’s nose.

“A horse?”

“Yes, one of man’s greatest achievements.”

The horse threw its head up and down as if in agreement.

“A knobby kneed dog creature?”

“No a knobby kneed beast of burden, from the back of which humanity conquered the world. He patted it’s neck, “These guys are the reason humanity got as far as it did, at least one fo the reasons.

Krill stared at the ‘horse’ nervously staring into its wide dark eyes, sensing a hint of cunning intelligence that he did not particularly appreciate. Sunny stepped forward a bit, and the horse lifted it’s head, wide nostrils flaring menacingly.

It stepped back, and the commander held firm, “Woah, easy girl. It’s just sunny.”

The horse didn’t seem convinced, and Sunny stayed at a polite distance.

“Commander, I must insist, that beast could kick your head in if agitated.”

“Oh I know. Believe you me I know.”

The horse tossed it’s head.

“Can we get back to the important question of….. What the hell are you wearing?”

He looked down, “This, my fine friend is the historic gear of the Cowboy, and early symbol of the west, your rough and tumble man’s man who lived rough, worked hard, and is, arguably the symbol of human manifest destiny.”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

The commander sighed, “Look they were total badasses who rode horses, shot guns, and drank too much.”

“Badasses who wore heels?” Sunny wondered

“Yes, yes they were.”

“And where did you get that outfit exactly?”

He tugged at the shirt rather proudly, “My mother made it for me, you know because that is what she does for a living.”

“Do you often commission really dumb clothing from your mother.” Sunny continued to tease.

“I have an outfit for every major time period from here to to the early Byzantine empire.” He bragged, not that it meant anything.

Her continued teasing was cut off as more noises rose up from the distance, the sound of hooves and the shrill chatter of, what Sunny could only assume was the horses. A larger dust cloud was riding up this time, and as she watched, another group of human came riding down the track. At least three of them riding horseback and wearing outfits much the same as the commander now wore. Though one of them was riding on the front of a strange wooden vehicle pulled by the creatures.

And krill had thought current human technology was primitive.

The two men, and one woman came to a halt just to their side, and looking them over, Krill couldn't help but notice the strange nature of these humans, tanned dark by the sun, their skin tough and calloused, especially about the hands. Though it was early morning they were already covered in dust. One of them touched the brim of his hat upon seeing them and dismounted from his horse walking over to shake the commander’s hand.

“I’m gonna assume your Commander Vir.” He looked around, “Seeing as you’re the only human here.”

“Yes sir.”

His voice was deep, and rather slow with a sort of relaxing quality to it, though there was an edge of steel behind his voice, “Didn’t think you fancy space captains knew how to ride horses.”

“My father worked on one of the farming conglomerates when I was a boy. He made sure we knew how to ride.”

“Smart man.” The old human turned his steely brown eyes on them looking sunny and Krill up and down though he didn’t seem all that surprised. He held out a hand to sunny, “Looks like you’ve got plenty of hands to shake.”

She chirped a laugh and took his hand surprised at how strong he was, how rough his hands were.

Krill received a nod which was more than alright by him. He turned back and motioned to his companions, “Meet, Jack my son, and Liz y daughter. They volunteered to help out with our little problem.”

“Smugglers you were saying.”

“Yes. We think they are some of those Tesraki types using our fields as stop points. Wouldn’t mind it so much if they didn’t keep destroying the product. They tend to land where we plant the pink orbs-” He looked at sunny, “Think they are from your planet. A bitch to get to grow here, we have to cut the soil with imported volcanic ash to get them to grow, and every time those bastards show up we lose a yield.”

His daughter motioned at Sunny and Krill to climb up onto the strange wooden death machine with wheels. At first Krill refused, but sunny grabbed him and hauled him upwards, sitting on one of the wooden benches.

Krill reused to sit.

He could see splinters.

“They aren’t supposed to be in for another few days though.” The two men had mounted their horses and were riding side by side now as the ‘what krill learned to be a cart’ started up, rolling over the uneven ground and threatening to rattle his brains out of his head.

“Doesn’t this thing have shocks.” he moaned

The humans laughed, and the head human turned back to look at him, “Don’t need socks on a wagon…..” He paused, “This one ain’t mch for country livin’”

The commander snorted, “He isn’t much for anything new. Guess you could say he’s a big city surgeon. I don’t think his species has been without automated assistance for the past ten thousand years. But Sunny there probably gets it, her clan was mainly gatherer types.”

“Yeah, I heard about the Drev. Don’t live so differently from us all told.” beside them lines and lines of crops grew up in the distance, a never ending line broken up by nothing more than a distant building rising many stories above the fields. Massive silver constructions in cylinders with pointy tops.

“What are those?” Sunny asked, pointing.

The daughter looked “Those are silos. Once we harvest the produce, all the food goes in there for storage until we sell it.”

“So much food.” Sunny muttered

Krill didn’t like the look of them, they appeared dangerous. Up ahead of them, the dog, waffles seemed to be enjoying herself romping about over the dirt road and through the first few lines of plants her tongue lolling her ears up.

“Your Shepherd seems happy.” The man commented, “Better then being cooped up in a flying tin can.”

“Yeah , she doesn’t get to go outside much these days.”

Looking up into the distance, Krill could just make out a slow break on the horizon. They were trees as far as he could tell, which surprised him since they seemed far to big to be here, as unnatural a species as they were.

“Are those oak trees?” The Captain asked, incredulous.

“That they are, got them imported in one of those massive fraighters. Putting them in the ground was complete bullshit, but they took surprisingly well. We wanted the two to be a bit more cozy.

The closer they got to town the more people they could see. Children ran in and out of the crop lines chasing each other and laughing.

Women carried baskets with them plucking bright red berries from tall growths of plants turning to wave at them as they passed.

Horses loitered, tied up on the sides of the road next to large, elegant houses in a style Krill had never seen before.

“Wow.” The commander muttered, “This is…. Wow.”

The man smiled, “Much as I love earth, you can’t live like this any more. No more small towns. When I heard how cheep they were selling land up here for, I couldn’t resist. Worked for one of those corporations like your father, and that’s when I heard about the deal going on. Come up here, farm the land and get the property for free.” He motioned to the houses and the barns, “Built most of it with our own two hands. Machinery is a bitch to get out here, so most everything we make by ourselves.”

Krill and sunny stared on in complete fascination. The wooden buildings held together by nothing more than sharp metal spikes, still multiple stories tall and with glass windows. What little technology there was was overshadowed by just how provincial everything was. People carrying buckets of water with their own two hands, polishing boots, and sawing off planks of wood with manual blades.

And despite that, how much more difficult everything probably was, they seemed happy. The people themselves were rough, but well put together, tanned skin, and bright eyes over calloused hands and straight backed postures full of confidence and pride. As they rode past they received nothing but friendly smiles and waved greetings.

Adam was practically a pampered, prim little pretty boy in comparison to the rest, and he was a one eyed, peg legged, space captain for intents and purposes.

A pleasantly plump dark skinned woman waved at them from her porch, where she sat in a very strange looking chair, which instead of legs, had skids? And rocked when she shifted her weight. Which seemed to be the intention.

Sunny and Krill raised their hands back, not sure of what else to do.

The man at the front sighed, “Man you can’t live like this anymore, not on earth anyway.”

Commander vir was looking around with an appreciative smile, “it’s like going back in time. Dam…. it’s nice here.”

“Almost makes you want to get your feet back on solid dirt?” The man wondered

The commander laughed, “I don’t think so. Your town is great, but there is nothing like the majesty of waking up and seeing the rings of saturn outside our bedroom window, or a nebulae thousands of light years wide, or stepping out of the ship and just…. Floating weightless like nothing can hold you down ever again.”

The man shuttered, “Can’t imagine.”

“Can’t imagine but can’t forget.”

Adam’s horse tossed it’s head and he patted it on the neck.

The other human shook his head, “Cut from a different mold I guess. I’d like nothing more than an honest day’s work under the sun getting my hands dirty. None of that outer space politics.”

Adam laughed, “I suppose I forget about politics most of the time. Honestly consider myself more of an adventurer discovering new planets and new species bravely going where no man has gone before sort of thing.”

The two of them laughed together.

Krill wondered at the strangeness of humanity. Here were two men, one of them a ship captain venturing into the unknown on one of the most advanced pieces of human technology ever created flying shuttles, talking with aliens and traversing the galaxy, while there was another human a lover of dirt beneath his hands, with no desire to leave his home, or likely even go outside it’s farm’s radius, content with living the same day for the rest of his life, with the same people, building everything with his hands, living without what seemed to be the most basic of human technologies.

And here they were sitting together speaking and laughing.

Getting along despite being so different.

Because humans can just do that.

Humans understand.

#humans are insane #HUMANS ARE WERID #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #Earth is space Ausralia #earth is a deathworld

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evenstevensranked · 6 years

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#9: Season 3, Episode 22 - “Leavin’ Stevens”

It’s the series finale!! Eileen is projected the winner of a major election for Congress, which means the Stevens family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately. Pretty big deal. Our beloved characters must say goodbye to each other forever, but Louis can’t bring himself to move across the country without telling Tawny how he really feels about her.

Let’s talk about why this cinematic plotline would’ve made an infinitely better DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie.

This one opens with the Stevens family huddled together in the living room, anxiously awaiting the results of Eileen’s election. Riiiiight as the news reporter is about to announce the winner, Beans appears out of nowhere, grabs the remote and changes the channel to... Toon Disney?! They show a legit clip of Teamo Supremo (remember that show?! LOL) instead of some fake cartoon or something which is kinda cool. Granted, it’s a Disney cartoon, so they had the right to use it no problem -- but still! That show premiered in 2002 so I’m sure they threw that clip in there to promote it somehow. Otherwise, it’s just sorta funny to think Toon Disney and ABC (Disney Channel sister stations) exist in the Even Stevens-verse.

Beans, being the nuisance that he is, throws the remote into a skinny vase thing so Ren is forced to ~magically~ change the channel back manually.

Remember when you could change the channel with buttons on the actual TV? Good times. If you lose the remote these days, you’re pretty much screwed.

Thankfully, they turn back in time to catch the results: EILEEN WON! It cuts to her giving a little press conference outside where she announces that the entire family will be moving to Washington D.C. immediately so that she can get to work right away. This is insane news to Louis since he apparently had no idea that Congress was in Washington or that the whole family would need to move there if Eileen were to win.

It cuts to a very depressed Louis at school cleaning out his locker. Tom and Twitty are with him and Twitty is seemingly in denial about the whole situation, explaining that nothing’s going to change and that a few 14-year-olds can hop a flight to D.C., hang out with Louis and be home by dinner time easy peasy! Tom brings them back to reality by calling them “poor delusional fools” and it’s great. Tawny shows up and it’s time for “Romeo to bid farewell to his Juliet” (Tom’s words.) Oh, man. The rom-com drama kicks in here and I can’t get enough of it.

I’m guessing that this moment is the actual very last time they’re ever going to see each other?!?! So, the two of them are incredibly freaking awkward trying to say their goodbyes. I mean, how do you say goodbye forever to one of your best friends who is also obviously your crush in, like.. 30 seconds? They’re stammering and dancing around the idea of simply saying “I’m gonna miss you!” So, what do they do? They end up completely avoiding the situation by talking about how they’re going to miss the school cafe’s chili fries instead of each other. Clearly, that is not the last thing either of them wanted to say. As frustrating as this scene is, it’s pretty hilarious. Louis is all “I’m really gonna miss... y.......ahh... c..hili.... fries on Wednesday!” and Tawny just awkwardly goes along with it, “Yeah. I love those... They’re great.” HAHAHA. They proceed to engage in what’s gotta be up there as one of the most uncomfortable hugs of all time:

One thing this show consistently nails is middle school awkwardness. Louis & Tawny are lightyears ahead of me and my old crush though. He was moving to Deleware at the end of 8th grade and we didn’t even say goodbye to each other at ALL at graduation, omg. We just avoided each other entirely. The worst part is that we were side-by-side PARTNERS for the graduation march and we didn’t even speak to each other. The level of immaturity and awkwardness is unparalleled....

It cuts to Ren talking with Ruby and Monique who are also getting emotional over Ren’s impending departure. (“What are we gonna do without her?!”) Basically, the two of them are completely incapable of organizing their own lives and need Ren’s constant guidance. One of their biggest concerns is that the three of them previously waited 6 hours in line for Peachbox tickets and now they can’t go to the concert together. First of all.... WHAT OR WHO THE HECK IS PEACHBOX? For some reason, I’ve always imagined a knockoff Matchbox Twenty band simply because of the “box” connection lol. Buuuut, I’m gonna guess that it’s just a music festival or something. It’s not important in the grand scheme of things here.

We see Louis and Twitty walking home from school together and it’s a very somber stroll. Twitty says “I know you’re not the most romantic guy in the world (I BEG TO DIFFER, TWITTY!!!) but, do you really want the last thing you talk about with Tawny to be chili fries?” Obviously, Louis says no, but its too late! There’s nothing he can do at this point! Twitty dramatically says “No, it’s never too late...” and just WALKS AWAY!!!! Did he leave Louis in the dust?! Was that the last thing they said to each other?! What?! Did Louis and Twitty’s epic friendship just... end on a cryptic note for dramatic effect? Why am I just realizing this?

I’m laughing at the idea of this being their final exchange. “It’s never too late. Peace out, cub scout.”

Twitty’s dramatic last words kick Louis into rom-com leading man overdrive. As soon as he gets home, he sits down and starts recording a videotape for Tawny so that he can say everything he wasn’t able to in person. (See cover photo.) Oh, my lord. This is incredible. He starts off by saying that he’ll already be 2,797 miles away (he looked it up) in Washington by the time she sees the tape. “I didn’t want the last thing we talked about to be chili fries. So that’s why I’m doing this -- this tape, ya know? To tell you how I really feel...” And Shia is already hitting it outta the god damn park with his acting. The scene cuts after that, so we don’t get to hear the rest. Gotta keep us on our toes!

Louis meets up with Tom later and gives him the tape, instructing -- or rather, threatening -- him to personally deliver it to Tawny... OR ELSE.

“Tom, I’m entrusting you with this tape. Okay? So, if anybody else -- besides Tawny -- gets their hands on this... I will personally track you down and make you pay. You hear what I’m saying?”

There’s a little subplot with Donnie and Coach Tugnut, as well. Every character’s plot in this episode revolves around the Stevens family moving, which is kinda cool. We get to see how the potential change affects all of them! Coach Tugnut was planning on training Donnie for the Olympics, so he nearly has a heart attack when he finds out he’s moving. Steve decides to call his boss, Mr. Kupchack, and cuss him out because he thinks he’s never going to see him again. (Bad idea.) Louis has the Tawny situation. Ren has her friends. And of course, Eileen’s whole career is being uprooted.

Tugnut ultimately decides to uproot his life as well and drive all the way to Washington to continue Donnie’s training. There’s a pretty great final ~adult joke~ here. Tugnut says he talked it over with his wife, Tammy, and they agreed that a little break could be good. He explains that Tammy is busy with her own life, which includes working the night shift at Romano’s Pizza. But, Donnie’s like.. “Uh, Coach... Romano’s Pizza closed, like... 2 years ago” -- Insinuating that Tammy’s been cheating at night. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation!” Tugnut concludes. Wow. I like this joke, though. It’s subtle and smart.

Right as Steve is fervently insulting his boss over the phone, Eileen comes running into the living room in a tizzy. She turns on the TV and calls for the entire family to come watch. In a “stunning and dramatic reversal,” a recount snatched victory away from Eileen and gave the congressional seat to some guy Charles Nuck.

Louis: “My tape!” Ren: “My friends!” Steve: “My job!” Donnie: “My coach!” Eileen: “My seeeeat!”

You can always count on Tom Virtue to go overboard with his performance. To be fair, Steve knows that he totally just lost his job. Soo...

So, yeah! We’re only 9 minutes into the episode and The Stevens family is no longer moving! Wexler is so elated to have Ren back, he’s all “I’d be lost without you!” -- Literally no one can live a productive life without Ren Stevens I guess. He does a little happy dance down the hallway but then stops in his tracks in horror when he sees Louis moving back into his locker. “Noooo!” HAHAHA.

“WHYYYYYY?!” -- I just really wanted to include this screenshot. Notice how Louis is unpacking a giant thing of syrup! Leftover from Lumberjack Club, I presume?

Twitty stops by and Louis is in damage control mode. “I have a problem. I did the worst thing I could possibly do.” Twitty says “Dude, everyone gets gas climbing the rope in gym, it’s okay.” HAHA! For some reason I never really noticed that line before. It’s great. Of course, Louis explains that he gave Tawny a tape telling her how he really feels. Twitty asks how bad it is and if he dropped the “L-Bomb.” (“Did ya tell Tawny that you loved her?”) And Louis is officially freaking out. OHHHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDD. Scenes like this make me think that Even Stevens was more of a ~bro show~ kinda. I wonder if guys across the country related to this or not.

Ren’s little ~storyline within the storyline~ could’ve been a lot better. As usual, she got the short end of the stick for her final hurrah in the series. She ends up finding a replacement of herself for Ruby and Monique named Denise who is seriously controlling and super creepy. After they find out the Stevens are no longer moving, Monique and Ruby really don’t want to go to the concert with Denise anymore. So Ren eventually finds replacements for Ruby and Monique as well so the three doppelgangers can go together instead. It’s trippy. And that’s pretty much it.

Louis talks to Tawny later that day and finds out that Tom already delivered the tape. Yikes! Tawny doesn’t know what's on the tape though and doesn’t think much of it either. She’s assuming that it’s probably a nature special or Doris’ 40th birthday. And Louis quickly interjects “Good party! That was a good--” and awkwardly cuts himself off. Shia’s phrasing. It’s so good. I laughed pretty hard. Anyway, Louis is officially on a mission to retrieve the tape before she has a chance to watch it and calls Beans for help. Beans is at school when Louis calls his cell phone, and um... Beans is 8 years old. Why does he have a cell phone in 2002? Also, he should be in 3rd grade. Does this look like 3rd grade to you?!

That teacher is reading a baby storybook to them. This never seemed right to me lol. Also, that super tall kid in the middle is at least 11 years old. Come on now. ALSO they make a point to show that every kid in the class has a cell phone, too. Perhaps this show was simply ahead of its time AGAIN, showing us that soon technology will consume all of our lives at every age. 8 year olds have iPhones nowadays.

To sum it up, Louis has Beans climb into Tawny’s bedroom window to steal the tape back. This is the only episode where we see Tawny’s bedroom and much like the part of her house we saw in Thin Ice, it suits her personality perfectly and I love it.

Louis is relieved to have the tape back, but once he gets home he notices the tape is actually labeled “To: Louis.” OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! HEREEEE WEEEE GOOOOO! I’ll let you watch this truly iconic and emotionally taxing scene play out for yourself:

youtube

Can you say SOULMATES?! What are the odds they’d both decide to confess their feelings via videotape? Well, besides it being an uber romantic plot device lol.

The episode ends with Louis and Tawny at their lockers, smirking knowingly at each other because they know they’re in love now lol. It’s precious. It’s still a little awkward because it’s like “ok, we love each other or whatever... now what?” So, in true Louis & Tawny fashion Louis says “Soooo... I hear they’re having chili fries at lunch today.” And Tawny whispers “Cool. I love chili fries.” The two of them laugh at how well they know each other and walk off hand and hand into the sunset. All is right with the world.

How sweet are they?! Seriously one of the most underrated pairings everrrrr. Tawny’s jeans though. I never understood the 2000s fashion trend that was distressed markings on the BUTTCHEEKS of pants! It looks absolutely terrible.

The final minute bit is Tugnut crying “DonnnieeeeEE!” all alone at the Washington monument lol.

This is probably the most cinematic episode of Even Stevens. This thing plays out like a freaking movie. Honestly, if they fleshed out the plot a little more and added a few twists and turns that I can’t think of because I’m not a screenwriter -- I firmly believe this would've made for a better and more satisfying DCOM than The Even Stevens Movie. They could've ended the series with an episode built around a wacky plot like the vacation, (I mean, the dismal and beyond outlandish In Ren We Trust was the series’ penultimate episode so that wouldn't be a stretch...) and then have an original movie with heart and a story rooted in the characters. Am I alone here, or? Having the series end with Louis and Tawny getting together and then barely interacting in The Even Stevens Movie always pissed me off. The bit with the videotapes could totally compete with any blockbuster romance film, tbh. MOVIES end with characters finally getting together and it's the big, satisfying moment. Ending a SERIES like that, and then not doing anything with it in the big finale film is just frustrating. I wanted to see what became of Louis and Tawny: The Couple.

This 8-second scene of them in the chair is the extent of their interaction in the movie. Along with two “right next to papa” lines from Louis, which Tawny sorta reacts apathetically/sarcastically to. That’s literally it.

I’ve mentioned before that people tend to write-off Even Stevens as nothing but a wacky show to watch if you want to turn your brain off. But, there’s so much heart here and great characters that are overlooked! Having such a crazy movie for the big ending just solidified that Even Stevens = Dumb and wacky TV show, in the memories of many. Which is perhaps the reason why the show isn’t remembered as widely or fondly in comparison to other live action Disney shows of the era. This could also contribute to its underratedness. It’s just not the DCOM we deserved. Even I remember thinking “this looks stupid” when I first saw the promo trailer for the movie as a kid. But this series finale episode felt more like a movie to me than the DCOM ever did! It almost seems like it was intended to be a film but they cut out a bunch of it. It feels really rushed. One minute the Stevens are moving and the next they’re not. There’s so much more tension and emotion that could’ve been built if the idea of them moving lasted longer than 8 minutes, haha. Idk. This just feels like a plot that deserves more than 21 minutes to unfold and breathe.

I kinda adore this episode. To this day it still manages to squeeze a lil’ tear outta me. I really can’t stress enough how sublime Shia’s acting on the tape to Tawny is. If the scene was longer, it could totally rival his romantic monologue in Disturbia (which some people have performed for acting auditions!!!) I wanna see people do a “Louis Stevens monologue” for auditions, man! lol. The day I see a modern Disney kid pull this sort of scene off with the same level of maturity will be the day hell freezes over. I love that Shia gave his all to this role. Even though ES was “just a Disney show” he treated the material with the weight it deserved and I really appreciate that. It’s what helps make Even Stevens more than “just a Disney show” and why it’s still great, if not better, in 2018.

This episode makes my Top 10 because, like I said, it has such a movie feel to it and one of the strongest/most engaging plotlines in the entire series. I might’ve ranked this one even higher if Ren had a better final plot. They could’ve had a double romance dilemma with Ren and Larry getting together as well or at least a cute moment where they finally end their rivalry, but nooooooooo! The pressure of moving forced Louis & Tawny to confront their feelings, they could’ve done the same thing with Ren and Larry. If this episode had a Ren/Larry subplot of any kind it would probably be my #1 lololol. The episode does have a lot going for it and so much potential though. I had to put it in the single-digits.

The Louis/Tawny content here is OBVIOUSLY of the highest quality. Hands down the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen on the Disney Channel at least. The videotape(s) is like a grand gesture, but also small and intimate at the same time. Per-fect. The acting is especially great here, from both Shia and Margo. I mean, these performances could stand up against any "adult” comedy TV show, heck.. they’re probably better honestly. They’re seriously killin’ the game and they’re both 16/17 years old here. So underrated. Even Stevens deserved to be picked up by a major network. Imagine what it might’ve been like on ABC, CBS, or NBC? Dang. It’d be the cult classic it deserves to be today.

Thanks for reading!!

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jabbers-written-world · 4 years

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Brightwire, Excerpt One

Meeting Cassius Regulus, of the Sunspire

A note on this, before we get started. This particular excerpt from my novel-in-progress entitled Brightwire, is one of my favorite pieces I’ve written to date. I love when characters in books have these almost dramatic, impressive introductions, without it being an overly flashy entrance that’s almost.. Well, almost akin to something out of an over-the-top superhero comic. Don’t get me wrong, I love superheroes as much as the next guy.

But you don’t need a wild, flashy entrance with a cool cape and crazy light show to leave an impression. The trick is all about characterization. The five methods of characterization, particularly.

Number One: Physical Description

How would this character be described. A lot of writers struggle with this, simply because there is a fine line between over-describing someone, and not describing them enough for the readers to have that understanding of who they’re supposed to be envisioning.

Find the balance, and try to keep it simple. But not too simple.

First feature you notice at a glance, i.e. eye color or skin tone or if they have any significant scars

Style of dress. This says a lot about a character, without actually saying much at all.

Are their clothes neatly tailored and close-fitting? Do they keep their clothing clean and well-maintained? Or perhaps their shirt is halfway hanging out and has a few stains? Already you’re making assumptions about two separate characters just by that, aren’t you.

What color clothing do they were? Bright colors? Or more neutral tones? Does it go well with their skin/hair/eyes? Or does it clash horribly? Again, you’re making inferences and assumptions, huh.

Body posture. This is another important one that tells a lot about a character just by the way they stand and hold themselves.

Do they slouch? Or stand up straight? Do they perhaps stand a little too straight and maybe seem a little stiff? Or maybe they’re slouched a bit, but it’s intentional and calmly relaxed?

Posture is all about attitude and how you view yourself/how you want others to see you.

But it’s also sometimes affected by mood, or physical exhaustion or stress, or even age.

Age. This is not a requirement, but it is a fun tool to play with, especially because the age someone appears might not always be their actual age.

Old does not mean wise or experienced.

Young does not mean immature or ignorant.

Do not overshare. It’s not necessary to go in-depth in long paragraphs of description. A little nod here and there to certain traits, and that should cover it.

Number Two: Action

How do they move? This ties in as well with physical description, especially owing to posture and the way someone carries themselves.

Action does not have to be obvious and direct. It can be subtle, too. Something small, like the twitch of a finger, or the flick of an ear if perhaps your character’s species allows for that (I have been known to do this with elves)

But there are also certain mannerisms and behaviors that are significant, and very definitive to a character.

Gait. How to they walk? What is their pacing? Fast? Slow? Do they have a limp? Perhaps they walk with a particular bounce to their step?

Hands. Do they move their hands often? Or do they keep them still? Some people are hand-talkers, they subconsciously make frequent gestures and are very mobile when speaking. These people also are often a lot more open and chatty as well.

Shifts in their mood. How does their body language reflect their mood? If they’re more reserved, perhaps they simply get noticeably more tense when upset, especially around the shoulders. Or perhaps if they’re very open, they start to bounce or move around in excitement, maybe they’re a hugger! (Not so fun for the more reserved characters around them, that one, lol)

Sitting. This is a fun one I really like to play with, because most don’t think of this as really any sort of action, but it is there and it does a lot to describe people.

How do they sit? Do they take up a lot of space? Or do they minimize themselves to be the least inconvenient possible? Perhaps they cross their legs? And if they do, how do they cross them? Wide cross, one leg over the other? Just crossing the ankles? Or if they don’t, are they spreading themselves out? Or are they keeping their knees touching together? (See how this works to describe people?)

Number Three: Inner Thoughts

This. This is another one some writers struggle with. Mostly because it’s hard to keep to one perspective and get everyone’s thoughts expressed. At least, if that’s what you’re going for. Third-person omniscient writing comes easier, because well, yeah. You get to go inside everyone’s head and know what they’re thinking. But, this can go really wrong too, because sometimes you’re getting jumbled around and there’s too many people to keep track of, and.. Yeah.

Third-person limited writing. It’s tougher than omniscient, yes. But it can be a good way to streamline things, and keep a centralized focus on one main character. And this is where the trick comes in for understanding the inner thoughts of characters.. whose minds we can’t just peek into.

Use expressive features to show thought, and have your protagonist interpret for the reader. Does your elf character have ears that express their feelings like a cat? Perhaps those ears just flicked back in what seems to be annoyance. Uh-oh. Now your protag has to be careful. Their elf buddy looks annoyed, and it might be because of them.

Have the protagonist vocalize and initiate. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ ‘Are you mad at me?’ Oftentimes, this can get some dialogue going to get an easy peek into what that other character might be thinking.

Or you can have the protag stay quiet, and just read the body language. Even the most stoic of characters will have their tells for what’s on their mind, and you just have to look for it.

Eyes. Never underestimate the power of a look. The eyes are powerful tools, and even if a character is blind, their eyes can and will still show their thoughts to an extent.

Number Four: Reactions

Here’s where it really gets fun. Like with the protagonist interpreting another’s thoughts, this is all about what other characters think, and how they respond to whoever you’re introducing to them.

Are they intimidated by this person? Do they get angry when they see them? Or are they excited just by hearing that person’s name?

Let your characters react organically. This can give a lot of insight into some history of the characters in general. If someone reacts poorly to the mention of someone else, that could mean they have a bad past with that person. If they react positively, then maybe they’re old friends who missed each other.

Background characters. These folks are important too, and often they get brushed aside in favor of the central focus. But they react too. What do they think of a negative reaction from a primary focus character? Do they know anything? Is this common knowledge? Or perhaps they’re shocked. It can do a lot to set a scene and add to the history if you let background citizens have their thoughts too.

Reactions also apply to physical descriptions too. Are they disgusted by how someone dresses? Or are they jealous of how well put together they are? Do they see this person as ugly or attractive? Have fun with this, and let characters be real.

Number Five: Speech

Ah, yes. My favorite bit of character work. How do your characters speak? This does a whole lot to really bring a character to life for your readers, and make them interactive for the other characters in the writing.

Accent. Does your character have an accent? Is it noticable? Perhaps they sometimes get misunderstood because of a thick accent.

Vocabulary. Big words, or short statements. A character’s vocabulary can say a lot about their level of education, and the environment they grew up in.

Language. Are they well-spoken, or do they just sort of let the words fall where they will? Maybe they have a tendency to pepper their speech with more.. colorful linguistics and come across more crass and aggressive. Or perhaps they hardly even know what swearing is and their innocence comes through in their fluffy little curses.

How does their dialogue stand out from the other characters? Straight and proper? Cool and casual? Bumbling and enthusiastic? Poor english? Amazing grammar? It’s all up to you.

And now, without further ado, I’d like to post this little excerpt for you guys, so you can get an example of how I use characterisation in my introductions to bring characters to life, and I hope you all enjoy it.

“I need to speak to the captain of this ship. It’s important!” She was already growing exasperated as she stared up at the man before her. He frowned and shook his head, grabbing another stack of crates to load on board.

“I’m sorry, miss, but I can’t help you.”

“Do you even understand? I said it’s important!”

“He understands perfectly, young lady.. But he does not have the authority to refer you to the ship’s captain.” She turned to face the source of this new voice, and almost immediately, her eyes were caught by his piercing golden gaze. It was like being caught frozen in a single moment, his eyes locked on hers, and she couldn’t bring herself to look away for what felt like an eternity. When she finally did, she soon found herself noticing his ears. Pointed, almost knife-like.. And his skin.. A deep, rich, tawny brown, like he was loved by the sun and the earth itself. But it was that that truly gave her pause yet again.

“You’re.. an elf..” She finally managed to utter just those words, and he quirked an eyebrow at her, as if she was dumber than dirt for even speaking.

“Yes. Such an astute observation..” Oh, he absolutely thought she was an idiot. She could tell just by the tone of his voice, but.. Everything she had ever been told about elves, all described them the same way. Fair skin, and either blonde or dark-haired. But here he was. His skin was earthen, warm brown tones, in such stark contrast to everything she’d ever been told, and even more blatantly in contrast with his shockingly snow white hair. Finally, she recovered herself, and a scowl affixed itself rather effectively upon her features yet again.

“If he can’t direct me to the captain, then I suppose you can.”

“Assuming I’d have interest in doing so, yes.”

“Well, do it. It’s important I talk to the captain!”

“Young lady. You already are.” Again, she was frozen, staring at the elven man. This time, though, it wasn’t because of his features, but his words. As she finally took notice of the crisply tailored red jacket he wore, not to mention the crest emblazoned on his breast pocket and the peaked cap upon his head, she couldn’t help but feel just as foolish as he clearly thought she was. He was the captain, and she was making a total spectacle of herself.

#;; a gem in the hoard (writing tips)#;; from a tiny lizard to a mighty dragon (writing advice)#;; the word of a beast (jabber writes)

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bigbrothermonopoly · 4 years

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EPISODE 2:

HOH: KRISTINE

EVICTED: NICKY (WALKED)

JESS:

Kristine being in power scares me shitless. I know I haven't exactly been the MOST social person in this game and I've been very UTR the last couple of days/ non existent but I always felt like I was good with Kristine. I don't know? I thought we talked a good bit at least in comparison to others.... but then after she won I called her the HBIC and homegirl told me she loved my ass kissing. That HOHITIS is real with this one ladies. I offered up my services as a potential person to work with moving forward and she ignored my offer. She literally swerved me. Straight up IGNORED me and focused on what I said about not being social. So there is a good chance I'm going up and if I don't go up it isn't because Kristine doesn't want it.. it'll probably be because others don't want it. At least I hope? I'm trying NOT to go into crisis mode on the second HOH but... old habits die hard? I think that's the quote? I think if I had to write a "trust list" for this game.. honestly.. I'm feeling really good about Kori. I THINK we could go far together and we'd balance out each other well. Obviously he's a good player and I'm going to need that on my side moving forward. Eve is obviously my #1 right now but it'd be naive on me not to believe that others aren't saying the same about her. I really like Andrew but we don't talk game? But I guess I can improve on that? Those are the 3 people I'm vibing with right now.

KORI:

Ok so at this point I'm not entirely sure if I made a DR entry earlier or not, I planned on making a video but at this point it'd just get too long. Rehder going unanimously is STILL a meme to me but here we are. Kristine winning HoH was honestly alright for me because I feel like she and I have a reasonably good relationship. Though I'm not sure it could ever be something long term because she's likely working with people I have no desire to work with. (Dem, Chris, Brien, those guys.) Emma and I had a serious talk about long term what we wanna do about Eve since we seem pretty in agreement that the current dynamic is Jess and Mackenzie are Eve's Top 2 Bitches, and we're like probably the Bottom 2 Bitches. Personally I think the best time for Eve to go is like F7ish but obviously we need more time for things to progress to see where we sit. I think longterm the Mandela Monocles are a better alliance for me since I think I could sit next to Austin OR Silence and win. I just can't sit next to Gwen who I really think just has a better personality than me. With Kristine nominating Madison it... isn't really ideal for me, but Madison is also pretty isolated at this point. While we have that Mitten Connection, if she is lacking any connection with others in this game I can't go dragging my feet for her... That being said, I think eliminating Nicky this round, would not be like... the WORST thing ever. It'd just be a question of convincing Gwen that it's a good idea. Though the harder thing would be convincing others that keeping Madison is a good idea. While I like her, I'm not sure it's in my best interest to leave tracks trying to keep her in the game. Obviously it's gonna depend on how Veto goes, if noms stay the same I might push a little for a Nicky boot and see what happens, but if it's not gonna happen I'll just cut my losses. (Though with Nicky doing his thing he seems likely to dig his own grave.)

AUSTIN:

I am feeling very comfortable this week. I’m in the power trap alliance with Chris, Kristine, Dem, and Emma. I’m also in the Mandela Monocles alliance with Gwen, Silence, and Kori. Kristine is currently HoH so I don’t think she will put me on the block. I have suspicions that Emma is working with Eve because when we were playing the HoH competition, Emma refused to take Eve out. I’m just glad that one of my alliances is in power.

KRISTINE:

Love the alliance. So happy I won HOH and got to be in power. The veto comp didn’t go as well as planned tbh. I’m sooo upset that I didn’t do as well as I wanted I was up at 200 something and then lost it all over a very stupid roll. But it’s fine whether I win this or not I know I’ll get my way. Nicky is going home, let’s just hope he doesn’t win HOH. Don’t ever argue with the HOH when you’re the one on the block LOL!!!

NICKY:

CAN I LIVE? Can i fucking live? there are 16 other people in this and yet i got nommed for a stupid reason yet again.

WILLIAM:

I'm so glad I escaped this week without being nominated!!! I feel so much better this week than last week! At the end of last week I thought for sure I was gonna leave pre-jury but now I feel like I've made so many real connections and I feel like I am in a great spot with many people

ANDREW:

episode 2 This could be super naive of me to say and a little cocky and i know it 100% IS but i feel like almost everyone in this game loves me besides nicky, i think im just playing a really good social game im scared of eve for some reason i feel like she is the only person possibly playing a better game than me. just get those competitive af vibes from her, i will not go after her unless she comes for me doe. shes super cute tho love her vibes, and I think me and Jess formed and alliance just now As of now Austin Jess and Chris are my top 3 in that order Update: I love Eve, we had an emotional heart to heart about STUFF, ill never forget it and i appreciate her for it so much, even if we don't end up being on the same side in this game together, the bitch is dope. I fucking love these noms dude, my 2 least favorite people sittingpretty on the block and i had nothing to do with it. HORNY cuz they wont even be coming for me. I hope nicky fucking bombs veto. "i cant talk to all 16 of u at once" ya....nobody fuckin asked you too but kristines point is sometimes a simple HELLO can save u from being nominated But regardless im proud of her and her tatse. * has one mixed drink and suddenly wants to fight nicky for no reason * oops i apologized to him and i didn’t even read anything from last night after what i said bc embarrassment. idc if he accept my apology, just wanted to throw it out there so i don’t look like a total douche

CHRIS:

Well week Number two and I’m in two separate alliances, have House majority, close with a few women, beyond the game have final choose with multiple people, should not be on the block for a long time, while slowly running this game behind the scenes with Myself. This backseat life is the best life

GWEN:

Hiiii. So looks like Nicky is going home tonight. He kind of dug his own grave. He was such a party pooper during our house game on Friday. Sooo. Yeah. I’m closest with Kori and Chris - getting closer to Chris for sure. What is it with me and Chris’s in ORGs? I need to get back to work. That is all for now :)

MACKENZIE:

i really gotta uhhhhh try harder bc i feel on the lowest end of the Entire Totem Pole. i feel like if i won smthn that would change but i’m a flop so

DEM:

I actually would have kept Nicky if he had the numbers. I wish he didn't quit. I think he messed up by throwing names around, because some people actually wanted to keep him...

EMMA:

if u cant handle the heat nicky why did u sign up.. quitting is worst then getting evicted.

TAWNI:

Ok since I was out of it last round time for my cast assessment now. Since this was due prior to Nicky quitting I’ll include him Nicky - I forgot he existed week one. Actually sad he quit and was gonna leave cause he was entertaining arguing with Kristine Gwen - I love Gwen. She allows me to not be the official grandma of the game. She is very sociable which is scary. But I think I can trust her. Austin - automatically meh about him cause of his name. Pretty forgettable honestly. Mackenzie - nice gal. Nothing negative to say. Haven’t talked much. Jess - the person I’m most terrified of. When I realized she is THE boojess like fuck me. I’m scared. I feel like as long as I don’t get on her bad side I’m good. William - seems like a good kid. Kristine - I’m v intimidated by her. She won hoh and veto and seems like a very smart player. She makes me nervous. Silence - who???? Brien- ok this kid. I’m doing what I can to get him to trust me. I know he is a loyal person. But am I the person he is loyal to? Or is it someone else? How do I make sure I am that person? Dem - nothing really to say MADISON - I love her sooooooooo much. She’s like the light of my life honestly and if I find out something different I’m gonna cry. Like I feel like a betrayal from her will hurt the most in this game. Andrew - okay first off......damn. I’m aware of his sexual orientation but boy sent me a photo so I could see his tattoos and DAMN!!! I need me a straight one of him. But he is a fun character I like him. Chris - I think I freaked him out when I sent him a long message about how I’m scared of cops. But I didn’t go up week one so that happened. I’m hoping I can work my way into his good graces later. Emma - seems like a sweet gal. I enjoy her. Kori - nothing to say sorry

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#27: Season 2, Episode 1 - “Starstruck”

Ruby desperately wants to win a radio contest to sit in on boyband BBMak’s recording session. Meanwhile, Louis finds an incredibly lucky penny and milks it for all it’s worth.

Wow, guys! Season 2 opens with the BBMak/Lucky Penny/Louis gets a makeover and looks smokin’ hot and Ruby develops a crush on him and I'm like "girl, same" episode!!! Let’s do this.

Alright, so within the first minute of this episode we learn that Ruby is absolutely obsessed with BBMak (a boyband that actually existed and is now unfortunately so irrelevant that some younger viewers of today assume they're a fictional band) and she’s trying to win a contest to go to their recording session when they come to Sacramento. She’s been listening to the radio on her pink, cheetah print walkman for hours on end trying to make sure she’s the lucky caller. Ren is concerned that her intense devotion may not be healthy.. but, Ruby insists she’s not obsessed with them. Her bedroom and behavior says otherwise:

At school the next day, Louis ends up finding a lucky penny which leads him to experience the best few days in a row ever. It kicks off with him narrowly escaping death and his big history test being canceled due to their teacher’s monkey having babies. The usual. If you binge watch the show, like I’ve done more times than I care to admit, the first few seconds of this scene are shocking because Louis' voice is obviously deeper and he looks obviously older. Yet according to Disney logic we're supposed to believe he's still in 7th grade, lol nah. Maybe at least the second half of 7th grade... We've gone over this before.

Louis seconds away from potentially dying over a penny.

Like I've mentioned, Disney is notoriously bad at airing episodes out of order. So here, we get an episode featuring Ren’s old friend Nelson. The only issue is that this aired 6 episodes before Thin Ice, which is Nelson’s formal introduction. The only explanation I can think of for this is that the Disney execs thought the BBMak thing would make a stronger season opener and switched up the airing order after they were already shot sequentially. I guess they assumed, or hoped, no one would notice or care that there's a new character we've never seen before just chilling with the gang like BFFs lol. According to Wiki at least, Season 2 was aired horrifically out of order when you compare the production code to the number it aired in the season. Like, WOW. For example, this episode was shot as Episode 13. I think that says it all.

No wonder Louis seems so jarringly older in this episode. He’s totally younger in the episodes that were supposed to air during the front half of S2.

Anyway, both Ren and Nelson are concerned about Ruby’s wellbeing now. She has practically turned into a fanatic zombie. They approach her and she says “I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten. Do you really think I wanna chat?” completely zoned out of her mind. Yeah, I’d be worried too. We also see that she’s not doing her schoolwork either. Her entire binder is full of BBMak, including this rather disturbing pop-up:

Continuing his string of good luck, Louis gets to eat Principal Wexler’s extravagant birthday lunch for whatever reason and ends up winning a free fashion makeover courtesy of "Fruity Fruit Cocktail." ....ok. Tawny starts to get freaked out and Twitty simply says "I'm starting not to like you" which is understandable, because Louis is quickly slipping into another arrogant phase due to all of the luck he's been having.

Ren and Nelson give Ruby an intervention to stop her ridiculous obsession with BBMak and wanting to marry one of them. Why is this something that never goes out of relevancy? This is still happening today. It’s perhaps more relevant than ever with the rise of internet fandoms and socials like Tumblr. Teens are literally spiraling into genuine insanity over bands like never before. As long as there are teen idols, there will be teen idol fanatics. Can’t really go wrong with a plot-line like this. Ren tells her "You deserve a real life person who's gonna be perfect for you" - Ruby agrees and decides to turn over a new leaf.

The new and improved made-over Louis comes waltzing in, and just like that Ruby replaces her BBMak obsession with a Louis obsession. She’s just blown away by his beauty. Same, tbh. Y’all already know that I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH AND THIS EPISODE KILLED ME!!!! Now that I think about it, this very well might've been the episode that solidified my everlasting fondness for Shia LaBeouf.

This isn’t even overdramatic. Ruby is so me.

Even Ren and Nelson tell Louis that he looks stunning! Well, “stunning” was Louis’ word, not theirs. They just agreed with his conceitedness, lol. Suddenly a bird comes flying into the house and lands on Louis’ shoulder. Of course, it happens to be Pecky -- a missing bird with a $50 reward. OF COURSE!

The next day, Ruby happily tells Ren that she has officially moved on from BBMak. There’s a new guy in her life! Ren is so excited until Ruby reveals the new object of her affection to her:

Um, is this my room circa 2001 or Ruby’s? I honestly can’t tell. Also I would so buy that big’ol poster of Shia on her closet door. That thing has made a few appearances throughout the series. It’s kind of iconic looking, don’t you think? Maybe that’s just me...

Just thought I’d mention: Ren asks her “How did you get these pictures?!” and Ruby explains “I downloaded them from the internet. Louis has a very interesting website.” Do I even want to know? Aside from the implied potentially disturbing content, part of me wishes Disney had some sort of interactive fake louisstevens.com website or something like Nickelodeon did with amandaplease.com!

Tawny insists that Louis' lucky streak is nothing but “admittedly weird coincidences,” until Louis calls in to win the huge BBMak contest and......... wins. I love how he acts so blasé about it. The DJ is so excited and Louis is all "Eh.. What can I say? This whole charmed life thing is getting kinda old." Also, the DJ in this scene, who appears two more times in the series, was one of the many actors recycled for That’s So Raven. He played a news reporter on that show. Similar field. Huh.

Ren believes that Ruby is simply rebounding with Louis and decides to show her his nasty bedroom to make her realize she doesn't actually like him. Ren also tells Ruby that he’s rotten and selfish, which... Is kinda true sometimes, oops. But at the same time, that scene always makes me a little sad inside. Louis is a good guy at heart, Ren!!

Just then, Louis appears in the doorway asking "What are you doing in my room?" and we get this incredible exchange:

(credit)

Louis then proceeds to very unselfishly invite Ruby to the BBMak recording session which only reinforces her crush on him.

Okay. We finally make it to this darn recording session! Thank god. Louis might as well’ve brought his entire extended family because he brought four freaking people along with him like it’s some free for all. You usually don’t push your luck when you’re gifted something like that... but, oh yeah. Lucky penny. I freaking love this bit where Ren whispers to Ruby “Woo! He’s gorgeous...” referring to Christian from BBMak, and Ruby says “I know.......” in reference to Louis! LOL.

Ren is so disgusted and once again Ruby is me.

Shia has been gorgeous in my eyes for nearly my entire life!!!!!!!!! Apparently I'm weird because I've seen so many memes about him that say things like "He was that ugly, weird kid on Even Stevens and then he magically became good looking" I'm just sitting here like??? Y'all are about 14 years late to the party.

Louis and Twitty get distracted by a table with free cheese on it, which honestly is the best part of any and every function or gathering. Not even gonna lie. While hanging around the cheese table, Twitty decides to seize the opportunity and give BBMak an Alan Twitty Project demo tape of “Sacramento Girl.” (YESSSSS!) They lie and say they’ll check it out — but immediately stuff it under a block of cheese. As a musician, I can confirm that this is too real. It’s impossible to get successful/established artists to take you seriously. I met Fall Out Boy at a local radio junket once and slipped Pete Wentz a demo. I never heard anything, sooo... It stings to know that he most likely hid it under some cheese the second I left.

BBMak are looking for a ‘Sacramento sound’ (whatever that is) and encourage Louis to play some tambourine on their track! They tell him “If this works out, you could come on tour with us!” If only it was that easy to land a national gig in real life. Ruby mentions in passing that she needs to tell Louis how she feels, and TAWNY IS NOT HAVIN’ IT! Omg. She kinda gets jealous of Ruby’s crush and they start a small argument over him. Ren cannot believe what she's witnessing and I love it. Also, Christy looks fantastic here? Whoever did her hair and makeup: Good job!! wow!

Unfortunately, Ruby’s attraction to him is short-lived and comes to a screeching halt the second Louis loses his penny during his tambo solo, jumping around like a lunatic with no rhythm. (Again, HOW does he become a drummer later on? It’s a mystery.) It’s very subtle, but you can tell once Ruby starts finding Louis "odd and annoying," that Tawny is secretly happy about it and still obviously likes him unconditionally even though he's literally insane. Same, Tawny.

So, yeah. Louis loses his penny and his luck runs out. BBMak basically kick him out of the studio. I love how Louis asks them “What about the record and the touring?! What about BBMak-Stevens?!” as if the conversation ever went that far. It’s great. I might’ve spoke too soon about Shia being gorgeous because the faces he makes when he realizes the penny is missing from his pocket are the furthest thing from the adjective:

It is hysterical, however. And that outweighs everything else here, so.

This episode ends on an AMAZING note: A super cringy music video for “Sacramento Girl”! What more could you ask for?!?! We get some Twitty-Stevens Connection action here and it’s something to behold. 😂 Be on the lookout for Shia doing his classic “shirt-over-the-head” thing he does, HAHA. You can tell some of the vocals were done by middle-aged men (probably Jim Wise) which makes it even more hilarious. My favorite lyric has got to be the Grammy award worthy: “Before I met the girl I had it made... Now she scores higher than the whole arcade. YEAH!” And of course, the episodes’ immortal last words "TAKE THAT, BBMAK!!!!" will go down in history.

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That’s it! I honestly don’t even know why I’m ranking this one “lower.” It’s probably one of my personal favorites but.. Idk man. There are simply other episodes that I like more, lol. This is a totally solid episode though! Super memorable, pretty strong humor (including music-related humor... which you know I love!), and two awesome plot-lines that blend really well! But, even with all of that.. something felt slightly flat about it when re-watching. It could possibly just be from me watching these episodes waaay too much, tbh. It also probably has something to do with it being a “special” episode with guest stars and whatnot. Episodes like that tend to feel like totally separate things to me.

At this point, we’ve officially reached the REALLY REALLY GOOD part of the list, though. So I don’t feel too bad about placing it here. There are no “bad” episodes from here on out. Well, there are no bad episodes of Even Stevens in general really. But.. you guys know what I mean.

I’m probably gonna regret and rethink this entire list once I finish it anyway so, lol.

Thanks for reading!

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#rank #even stevens #season 2 #disney channel #shia labeouf #bbmak #louis stevens #ruby mendel #ren stevens #christy carlson romano #the twitty stevens connection #alan twitty #old school #old disney #throwback #aj trauth #the alan twitty project

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#39: Season 1, Episode 16 - “Luscious Lou”

After a massive content drought... We are back! This week, Louis joins the wrestling team!! It’s surprisingly going pretty well for him — until he finds out that his major competitor from a neighboring school is a girl. Oh, boy. Typical junior high sexism ensues. Meanwhile, Ren tries to get back at Louis for a prank he pulled on her.

This one starts off with Ren getting caught in a net trap made by Louis. She’s cursing his name when Steve comes to her rescue. He tells her she can’t be so quick to assume that Louis made the trap.. but is shut down immediately when Ren hands him a piece of paper that says…

I always liked this. Louis is so freaking condescendingly sarcastic sometimes.

Anyway, this highlights just how much free time Louis has on his hands. So Steve encourages him to “use it for good instead of evil” and join an after school activity. Louis tells Twitty and Tawny about the situation and they start brainstorming sports Louis could do... But, pretty much come to the conclusion that he sucks at everything. My favorite line here is “What about cross country?” / “Nah, he gets cramped up and winded just from tying his shoes.” - S A M E. This whole convo is actually really lighthearted and funny on Tawny and Twitty’s end, but Louis is caught in the middle and a lil upset. "There's helping, and then there's hurting guys” he says.

They run into Coach Tugnut and Louis asks him if he can join a sports team. Tugnut lifts him up and tries to gauge his weight and just like that, Louis makes the wrestling team. I’m pretty sure that’s not how joining the wrestling team works irl.

“How much do you weigh, Stevens? 104, 105?”

“........uh, th-that’s a personal question, Coach.” (I’m dying)

Tugnut randomly lifts up Twitty as well and says “Haven’t seen you in a while, thought I’d lift you up.” It’s such a bizarre and out of left field moment. I feel like it was written in last minute for the heck of it. It’s great, though. Certain offbeat moments like this that work are what help make the show unique and quirky, imo. The fact that there’s no laugh track makes it even better. It’s dry and awkward and reminds me of a bit you’d see on Portlandia or something.

I bet Tugnut previously impacted Lenny The Lifter’s life in some way.

Later that day back at home, Ren and Steve are in their back yard which does not look like their back yard at all for whatever reason. Ren is rigging a lawn chair to break for whenever Louis may or may not sit in it. Not exactly the best idea. Steve happens to be looking through an old box of photos here, one of which is of Louis as a lil nakey baby wearing a cowboy hat.

Steve: “There’s ol’ Lou! Never the shy one!” Ren: “...And he still watches TV that way. It's very disturbing."

Just picturing fully grown Season 1 Louis lying on the ground in a cowboy hat with his name on it, butt naked in front of the television like it's no biggie, has me dying right now. I just can't. Donnie ends up sitting in the rigged chair and falling, all while eating a cupcake. He says “I need to lay off the deserts” as if his non-existent obesity broke the chair -- which is pretty funny.

Something I love about certain comedy shows is when a scene will abruptly start with the tail end of an unrelated, absurd line. I don’t really know how else to explain it, but that’s what we get next. It cuts to gym class and we hear Tugnut casually say “...but before we get to those finger tip push-ups with a partner on your back -- let me introduce the newest member of our team, Louis Stevens." Which is just hilarious to me. It’s so easy to miss, but the imagery is so great. Take a minute to imagine flimsy middle schoolers trying to do that. Just another reason why Tugnut is an unfit and frankly abusive educator, lol.

Here is where we see that Louis initially thinks the wrestling team is going to be like freaking WWE Monday Night Raw and says "Although, I've never gotten hit in the back of the head with a folding chair... I'll try to make it look as real as possible." It. Is. Fantastic. Tugnut is quick to let him know it ain’t pro wrestling. Then we get a montage (which must span at least a few days/weeks) of Louis’ progress from ridiculous, uncoordinated weakling -- to pretty decent wrestler! I love this so much! Partially because there’s this one bit:

^ LOUIS IS LITERALLY MEEEEE!!!! No exaggeration. I once auditioned for the touring production of Green Day’s “American Idiot” and holy crap the choreo they taught and expected us to know within a few minutes murdered me. I was seriously THAT person. When everyone was up, I was down. When everyone was down, I was up. So unbelievably embarrassing. Needless to say, I didn’t receive another callback after that, lol. I feel like this might be another reason why Louis is my fave. No, yeah. It’s definitely a reason.

He gets better and better over time, and seeing Louis with determination for something that's not lazy and takes hard, physical work -- is honestly so attractive. I know Shia was, like... 14 here but... Oh, well. He was my first TV crush okay?! And watching this show takes me back in time. I MISS LOUIS STEVENS! If Shia ever reprised his role as an adult, I’d ascend into heaven right then and there.

Of course, this newfound ability to wrestle decently goes to Louis' head once again. He’s bragging to the other kids "I'm a quiet snake. I just sneak up. I go *hiss*! Nagurski, he can't mess with me. Look at these pipes!!!" I feel like all of this is ad-libbed. He’s sort of stuttering and pausing, trying to think of what to say next. I love Shia LaBeouf. But then suddenly a girl rolls up on her bike. "Are you guys on the wrestling team?" she asks. Louis obviously thinks she's coming onto them. "Yes. Louis Stevens, Olympic hopeful" is how he introduces himself to her and I am dead. "Mimi Nagurski, destroyer of dreams” is her response. THIS IS PERFECT. Louis was brought straight down a peg right there. Yep. He finds out Nagurski is... a girlski. (Forget that I ever made that rhyme immediately.)

It’s like he’s questioning the meaning of life.

“Imagine losing to a girl?!” the other teammates say and laugh. Oh, man. The sexism is cringy. But, I know that it's a thing. Especially among teen boys in 2001... Dang.

He goes to Twitty to talk about the issue and Twitty’s oh so comforting words are "You know what a win/win situation is, right? Well, this is just like that -- except it’s a lose/lose." Thanks, Twitty. Even so, Louis genuinely says he's not gonna quit the team or back down from the match. He's been working really hard and actually likes the sport. He's also happy about making his dad proud, as Steve used to be a wrestler himself back in the day. Aww.

As far as Ren’s plot goes... She spends the whole week/episode trying to get back at Louis for trapping her. She fails and ends up accidentally getting Donnie instead. Since Donnie is very underappreciated, I really like his moments here.

Even though Louis doesn’t want to quit the team, he still doesn’t want to have to fight a girl either. Once he realizes that the team is divided by weight, he gets the brilliant idea (sarcasm) to eat as much food as he can in 20 hours in an attempt to gain 9 pounds and bump up to the next weight class. I am positive that's not how the digestive system and weight gaining process works but, ok. Wow, Louis. Wow. This kid risked going into a diabetic coma just so he wouldn’t have to fight a girl.

And, yes. This is when he has that iconic nightmare that all the fat went to his butt:

He ends up having what I assume is terrible diarrhea and gas, if the explosion noises coming from the bathroom are any indication. Disney coming through with those mature, high brow jokes there! (more sarcasm) Poop is funny!!1!! XD

At the next weigh-in, Louis is still trying to find a way out of the match until the last minute by hiding two frying pans under his jacket.

“Stevens, you have two frying pans around your neck.” // “I do???” - Why is this so funny?

Obviously, Louis’ weight gain idea failed and he’s still 105, in Mimi’s weight class. But, as an even worse last minute attempt of getting out of the match, he sneakily puts his foot on the scale when Mimi’s being weighed -- which puts her over 123 pounds, lol. “Oh... I thought I saw a bug.” SLICK, LOUIS. Real slick.

Now, we’ve made it to the match! Louis is mysteriously absent when announced by the ref. Until, you hear animal growls and metal music start playing. That’s when Luscious Lou makes his grand entrance. (See cover image.) “I’m Luscious Lou and I love you, sir! There’s love in my heart. No hate, no hate. Just love. That’s all. That’s all I can give.” Was that an unintentional Backstreet Boys quote? I also feel like this is all an ad-lib. It’s really great. Shia’s delivery is always on-point regardless.

In hindsight, it’d be much funnier if this bit wasn’t rooted in Louis’ internalized sexism. Oh, no. Is my inner Tumblr SJW jumping out??? Ah. I really do feel that way, tbh. If he wasn’t trying to get himself disqualified and genuinely acted like this because he’s just a hilarious person like that, I’d find it much funnier today. Instead, it comes across as cringy and sad. Like, I’m so embarrassed for everyone involved in this fictional universe while watching it. In a way, I think that’s the point though. Steve and Ren are confused and disappointed in the stands. Louis is making a fool of himself. The school’s reputation is on the line. Mimi is insulted. It’s... yeah.

I’m not sure “Luscious” is the best word to describe Lou.

Thankfully, Louis decides to do the right thing and fight Mimi fair and square. “Hey, Nagurski! Let’s dance.” AYYYYYY! It’s slightly epic. During the fight Steve yells “Take him down!! Oh.. take HER down! Guy, girl, it doesn’t matter. Take THAT PERSON down!!!” - This is so life in 2017. It’s true though. Louis wins the match and Mimi’s respect. So, that’s cool.

This episodes’ final minute bit is also pretty good. Ren finally pulls a solid prank on Louis by making him think she printed that naked baby photo of him on the cover of the school newspaper, lol.

All in all, this is a good episode! We’re into the #30s now, so every episode is pretty much stellar to some degree from now on. Shia really shines in this episode and we get to see some different sides to Louis as well, which is always nice.

Thanks for reading!! Please share your thoughts below! :)

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#44: Season 1, Episode 6 - “Louis In The Middle”

This week, Louis coincidentally saves big shot on campus Blake Thompson's life (who's clearly not 13 years old and only in this one episode) by stopping him from choking on a piece of steak, lol ok. After that, Blake welcomes him into his entourage -- He even calls Louis his "main man." But, it doesn't take long for things to go south. Meanwhile, there’s romantic tension between Ren & Larry and we need to talk about it.

The episode opens in the school cafeteria with Louis doing some Marlon Brando impressions for Tawny and Twitty ("I made him an offer he couldn't refuse" / "I coulda been a contender" and "sTELLA!!!!") All quotes that would most likely go over kids' heads. While shouting "Stella" he whacks Blake Thompson in his precious face -- which is something you’re not supposed to do I guess. But turns out, it’s okay! "As long as it's not the nose. Anything but the nose” Blake says. That’s good to know. We learn that Blake is so popular because he’s been in a few commercials. That’s apparently enough to warrant celebrity treatment in Sacramento.

We get a pretty inappropriate quote around here. Twitty says that Blake did a Doc Dennier’s hot dog commercial a few years back. Louis sings the jingle "If it's not Doc Dennier’s, you're just eatin' wieners!" To which Tawny replies "I don't eat wieners." - Oh, dear God. Haha.

Blake starts choking in the middle of telling some arrogant story about himself, but people think he’s “acting” at first. Haha, why else would someone start choking mid sentence? For dramatic effect?! Louis realizes that Blake is actually choking and it’s like Hero Mode: Activated. Where did this side of Louis come from?! He rattles off information and gives commands to people around him like he’s a freaking EMT or something! He goes behind Blake to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Here we get a slightly inappropriate bit of Louis shouting "I'M THRUSTING! I’M THRUSTING!!!" paired with this image:

I wish I wasn’t an adult and didn’t notice this.

After this, Blake is all "You saved my life. You're a genuine hero. Welcome to my entourage!" We see the character Ivan used as Blake's sidekick here. He’s only in a few episodes.. but he’s usually Larry Beale’s lackey. So using him here just makes him seem even more fickle and desperate. Which works, I guess. Blake tells Ivan to basically wait on Louis hand and foot now. You can already tell that Louis is letting this somewhat newfound popularity go to his head. AS UAUAL! Louis does some of his impressions for Blake and he seems to think Louis is funny........... for now. I hate fake people.

Also during this opening cafeteria scene, Larry/Ren conflict is set up for the subplot. Ren is Student Policy Monitor and thinks the school deserves better lunch options. I agree. Last time I checked, school cafeteria food is one step above what they serve in prison. She stands up and gives a little speech about her plans to improve the food.. but Larry keeps interrupting, cracking jokes, and mocking her.

You know it’s serious. He’s giving her The Hand.

Twitty and Tawny become concerned about Louis possibly succumbing to peer pressure. I like this part because Tawny tries not to worry and says “No one knows the real Louis better than I do. Deep down he’s classy, caring, very very intelligent...” - It’s supposed to be a joke but it’s actually surprisingly true. Either way, she decides they should keep an eye on him.

The next day, Louis is telling jokes to Ivan and some popular girls at lunch.

This is where the episode takes a sad turn. Ivan goes over to Blake all excited about how funny Louis is, but Blake says “Dude. Grow up, the guy’s a dork!” You can tell Ivan was genuinely entertained by Louis but forces himself to ditch him for the sake of staying on Blake’s good side. Sigh. After losing a phone argument with his mom about cleaning his room (like the big important celebrity he is), Blake just kinda stares at Louis with disgust. And of course, Louis is oblivious.

Seriously, this guy is a 35 year old 8th grader. I guess that’s what happens when hot dog commercials are your top priority...

Tawny has been “observing” Louis the whole time. He sees her and asks "What are you, choppin' hedges?!" I always loved that.

Tawny says she and Twitty are worried he's becoming a "pod person." I never heard anyone say that term before this show. And I never knew what it meant so I looked it up:

"A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans."

I honestly remember thinking she was saying “Pot person” when I was young and that Louis was secretly doing drugs or something, lol. I was like ~ooohhh this is getting Degrassi-deep right now!~ The whole conversation was Very Serious and ended with Louis getting offended and taking her concern the wrong way. He feels like they’re just jealous of him having new, cool friends. Oh, Louis.

Ren asked for everyone to submit cafeteria suggestions into a suggestion box. Which was a good little idea... until Larry decided to stuff the box with offensive things about her. Like, who tries that hard?! Oh my god. He must really hate her, or really love her and has a strange evil way of showing it. She decides to resign from public service. Larry finds out, and he's clearly upset about it.

Charlotte (who makes her last appearance in this episode) and Ren reading through Larry’s messages. i.e. “Can you do something about the tuna casserole? It smells like Ren Stevens’ breath.” - Wow, Larry.

When Louis tries to do an Austin Powers impression for Blake the next day, he tears Louis down and says his 15 minutes of fame are over and he's done tolerating him. Nice!

I just had to include this image. “Gagalicious, babehhh!”

Blake tells Louis to go hang with his own friends. Only problem is -- Louis kinda ditched Tawny and Twitty. This leads to a mirror talk! Yaaaaay!!!! I love how consistent these were in Season 1, wow! This time, he treats it like he’s doing stand-up:

"For those of you keeping score at home... My new friends, they don't like me. My old friends, they don't like me. So I guess the score is Friends - 0, Louis - Really 0. I guess next time I'll think twice before I save a guys life."

Later that night, Ren's watching a romance soap opera when Larry shows up at The Stevens house to apologize to her. Yo, I swear to god. There is so much romantic tension here!!! He tells Ren that they've been competing against each other ever since the 5th grade and that she can't just give up. Because "If there's no Ren Stevens, there's no Larry Beale." WHAAAT?! It gets all awkward and Ren invites him to stay and watch the rest of the show with her. He says "No thanks, I think I've had enough soap operas for one day," and LOOKS HER UP AND DOWN with a sly smile. She's left sitting there like "ok :) ????" They're the best ship that never sailed on this show:

Come on, now! She’s all blushy and confused lol

Louis is all upset and wants to find a way to be Blake's friend again. WHY, LOUIS?! WHYYYY?! They're holding a school car wash and Louis sees a car about to kind of -- sort of -- not really, back into Blake and “crush him,” so he runs over to push him out of the line of fire in an attempt to save his life again. Buuuut, he just ends up getting water all over Blake and angering him. Louis insists “I’M SAVING YOUR LIFE OVER AND OVER AND OVERRR!!!!” but Blake yells “Stay away from me forever” at him in front of everyone. So that’s the end of that.

Tawny and Twitty observe this, as well. Tawny says “Louis’ constant craving for approval combined with his youngest child syndrome has basically split his personality in two.” - THAT’S SO SPOT ON THOUGH?!?! I love how they gave Tawny these lines. They really show how well she understands him.

Tawny decides she and Twitty have to go to “drastic measures” to shock Louis back into reality. They come up with a plan that involves Tawny as a damsel in distress tied to train tracks, and Twitty as an evil train conductor about to run her over. They plan it so Louis has no choice but to ride up on his bike and save her in the nick of time. He does, and this is their way of forgiving him and becoming friends again, haha. It's cute. Pretty unrealistic. But cute.

Louis: “Isn’t this is the part where you tell me I’m your hero and ya kiss me?”

Tawny: “Don’t push it.”

Following their romantic-tension-filled heart to heart, Larry starts taking Ren's side and supporting her at lunch after she becomes Policy Monitor again. "You heard the lady! If you have a suggestion, you fill it out and put it in the box. Continue, Miss Policy Monitor..." he says:

They’re so cute. Why didn’t they happen?! They totally could’ve turned this into one of those passionate mortal enemies falling in love tropes, lol. I’ll always be salty over this.

The episode ends with Louis sticking two carrots up his nose at lunch to assure Twitty and Tawny that things are back to normal. It’s adorable, haha.

I love the look Tawny gives him! Awwwww. If you haven’t guessed... I SHIP IT.

So yeah! That’s it. I don’t really know what else to say about this one. It’s not bad at all. It’s just a little.... eh. It’s not bad, but it’s not amazing. This one is genuinely very neutral. It easily could’ve been placed anywhere on the list, imo. But, I just decided on #44. I really love the Larry/Ren stuff here. This is one of three big moments in the series where you really sense that they have weird repressed feelings for each other or something. I like it a lot and wish they went for it! Other than that, there are some nice Louis moments and development here (I love the mirror talk, for example) and I really like the subtle Louis/Tawny hints as well. But, yeah. This one is pretty chill overall.

As always, thanks for reading!! <3

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#51: Season 3, Episode 9 - “Short Story”

After Lawrence Jr. High temporarily merges with a neighboring school, Louis discovers he has an "evil twin" by the name of Loomis Freeman who pulls even worse immature pranks than he does. Ren likes a mystery merger guy she offered to share her locker with until she meets him face-to-face and finds out he's significantly shorter than her.

The episode opens with Wexler on the school intercom explaining what’s going on, while simultaneously getting a deep tissue massage. Not a weird start at all. There’s been an infestation of cockroaches *shivers* at Jefferson Junior High. So for the time being, the Jefferson kids are staying at Lawrence. Within the first minute, Ren, Ruby and Monique are talking about what they’re going to wear to the school’s “social event of the season.” Ren says that some of the Jefferson guys have serious date potential, so the three girls start checking the guys out. I kinda like this, because the first dude they pick is black. I know it shouldn’t be important, but I couldn’t help but notice. (As a biracial person, I just tend to be more aware of this stuff lol) I thought it was nice!! No discrimination on Disney Channel!

Ren tells the girls that she volunteered to share her locker with someone. When she opens it up, it’s clear that someone has already moved in. They suspect it’s a boy. You can tell the person is into photography. There’s a camera and some prints in there. Ren takes a look at some of the things and concludes that the mystery guy’s stuff is “cool” and she wonders who he is. Oooooh!

Next we see Louis, Twitty and Tawny in the hall. Twitty asks Louis if he’s going to get a new suit for the “big dance.” Louis says “Let me explain something to you, because I’m adamant about this. There is a dance this Friday night, but it’s not necessarily the BIG dance!” Tawny asks why not since it’s their semi-formal. Which is another thing that makes me feel like they’re supposed to be in High School, but Disney decided to set it in Junior High for demographic reasons. I never had a semi-formal in middle school. But, hey! Maybe that’s just me. Can I also just say - I love that Louis used the word “adamant”? He makes a solid point though when he goes on to say that he doesn’t like to throw the word “big” around: “It’s always the Big Dance, or the Big Formal, or the Big Track Meet. WHAT ABOUT THE TRACK MEETS THAT ARE JUST TRACK MEETS?!” -- True.

Suddenly, we get a 7 years pre-“Glee” Naya Rivera cameo! She walks up to the gang and stomps on Louis’ foot. She accuses him of putting gum in her hair. He swears it wasn’t him so she kicks him again for lying. The plot is being set up without giving it away pretty well here!

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Twitty awkwardly puts her hair in his pocket at the end. I don’t get that, lol. But… okaaaay.

Ren has yet to meet her mysterious locker buddy so, with some persuasion from Monique and Ruby, she takes a look in one of his books and finds out his name is Travis Gresham. Ren decides she has to meet him. So, she basically turns into a nervous puddle of goop every time she sees a Jefferson dude, thinking any one of them could be him. But, nope! No luck.

We see Louis (or at least someone who looks just like Louis) hiding in the hall watching Twitty use the water fountain. The water goes everywhere and “Louis” runs away laughing. Soon after, we see Louis being taken into custody by Wexler. This time he’s being accused of putting a fake mouse in the faculty fruit bowl but once again, Louis has no idea what Wexler is talking about and is screaming that he’s innocent. Ren is distracted by this drama and ends up missing Travis get a book out of their locker. Since she’s Vice Principal Ren Stevens, she decides to go to the office and look up his file. Of course, there’s no photo attached to it. However, while she’s there she notices a different file with a picture of Louis attached to it. Except it’s not Louis… It’s LOOMIS! Yeah. A Jefferson kid by the name of Loomis Freeman. This is too much, lol. (See cover photo.)

Ren immediately shows Louis the file and he figures out that it must be Loomis who’s been playing all the pranks and starts to refer to him as his “evil twin.” Twitty even believes that it was Louis who rigged the fountain until Louis shows him the picture of Loomis. I love their friendship. Twitty believes him right away, no questions asked. It’s great. Next, a girl with chocolate all over her face approaches Louis at lunch. She doesn’t say a single word because if she did Disney would have to pay her, so she just stands there silently blaming him for it and pies him in the face as payback. Poor Louis, man. Dang.

“Loomis Freeman must be stopped, Twitty.”

Ren hears someone say “Hey, Travis!” to a guy at lunch, sooo... It must be the mystery guy!! Yay! She goes over and introduces herself as his locker buddy. She sits down and they end up having an awesome conversation. They talk for so long, they don’t even notice that lunch is over and everyone’s gone! Travis asks Ren to the dance and she’s so excited……. until they stand up and he’s literally at least a foot shorter than her. Yikes! I would try not to care about something as trivial as that but I can definitely see how Ren might be embarrassed.

She tries her best to be kind because they did get along amazingly. But when Ruby and Monique meet him, they tease her and crack jokes about it. Rude. (But honestly some of the jokes were funny. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’m so sorry, Travis!)

All of a sudden, Louis Loomis comes riding by on a bike and sprays the girls with a water gun. Louis runs up to them seconds later and asks if “he” just rode by on a bike and which direction “he” went, haha. Loomis and Louis are dressed extremely similarly though. That’s a bit of a slip-up, imo. They should’ve at least dressed them in slightly contrasting styles or something because the only physical/visual difference between them is Loomis’ hair -- it’s teased out larger than Louis’. I will say, one thing I actually really like about this episode is that it highlights how mature and smart Louis actually is compared to someone much sillier and dumb.

Loomis.

Louis, like, 5 seconds later. I know they’re supposed to look alike and confuse people and everything. But, they’re already being played by the same actor!! They didn’t need to actually be dressed like twins. What are the odds of that? Well, then again.. what are the odds Louis would have an identical evil twin? I’m taking this show too seriously, lol.

Louis has a large copy of Loomis’ file photo in his room and is using it as a dartboard. For real though, that picture should honestly be a poster or something. I mean, how iconic is this image?! If Even Stevens ever becomes as popular as other older shows in the nostalgia wave this would most definitely be a hipster-y poster to have. Like, this picture of Urkel or that “Animal House” John Belushi poster or something. Bad examples. I can’t think of anything else right now. You get the gist!! One of those posters that speaks for itself. You look at it and automatically know there’s a pop culture reference there. Even if you’re not familiar with what/where the reference comes from, you just KNOW it’s a thing. It’s Shia LaBeouf making a ridiculous face. I’d hang that in my room right now.

Louis is getting super worked up over the fact Loomis is basically ruining his life. He stops to think of what Loomis’ next move might be and realizes he’s most likely going to try to sabotage “the Big Dance.” Yep. Louis goes back on his word from earlier in the episode and explains “it just became the Big Dance.” Perfect!

During class, Ren can’t stop thinking about Travis’ height. She tries telling herself that it’s not important but this quickly segues into a nightmare-ish daydream sequence. She imagines going on a date with him and he just keeps getting shorter and shorter -- until he's a tiny little ant and Monique accidentally sits on him. Ouch. It actually reminds me of this scene/montage from Lizzie McGuire, where Gordo feels self-conscious about his height and also dreams about being super tiny.

Ren lets the pressure get to her and says she can’t go to the dance with him.

Loomis already put flies in the ice cubes (nasty!) by the time Louis and Twitty arrive at the dance that night. Wexler suspects it was Louis who did it but lets him off the hook with a warning. Side note: As someone who had a massive crush on Shia/Louis growing up and feels like a 12 year old again every time they watch this show… I have to say that Louis looks so weird in the best, most lovely way ever when he's not wearing a freaking Hawaiian shirt lol. It’s so refreshing to see! Like, whoa.

He looks so suave. Why did people sleep on Shia and call him ugly back then?! Also this blazer is so loud and oddly very “Louis” somehow. It’s not really the kind of blazer I’d picture him wearing but it just works. Same goes for the TURTLE NECK?! Really. Louis owns a turtle neck?! I love this character. Ugh.

Ren, Monique, and Ruby go to the dance together and they’re all dressed very Junior High appropriate and accurate! My friends and I dressed exactly like them at our 8th Grade class night, which I guess you could consider our version of a “prom” type thing. The dress I wore was super similar to Ren’s minus the giant flower, haha.

Ren feels bad about turning Travis down and is really hoping to see him there. She waits by the punchbowl and Loomis dances his way over like a fool. Ren is convinced he’s Louis at first and compliments his outfit, but then he sprays her in the face with one of those squirting flower pins on his jacket. Loomis runs off laughing and Ren realizes it was the ~evil twin.~ Louis walks around a bit brainstorming what Loomis could be plotting when it hits him… Loomis is going to fill the overhead balloons with water.

Same, Ren.

Travis gets up in front of everyone at the dance and shows a slideshow of photos he took during his week at Lawrence. He thanks LJH for being awesome hosts and ends the slide by saying “and some of us even made new friends…” accompanied by two super cheesy “candid” photos he took of Ren, lol.

Meanwhile, Louis comes face to face with Loomis. This is pretty great. Not only does it showcase Shia playing two different characters in one scene (very well, I might add) but it’s just another thing that shows how serious Louis can be when you put him next to an actual wacky lunatic.

Sure enough, he finds Loomis up above the dance holding a balloon full of water. Louis mocks him for only filling one balloon and says he’s tired of being blamed for his “shoddy work.” Louis’ vocabulary is on point in this episode. He spends some time trying to convince Loomis to hand over the balloon - as if it’s a gun and Loomis is one minute away from pulling the trigger or something. Unfortunately the balloon ends up falling on Ren, and Louis is genuinely upset about it. I’d be sick of being blamed for crap like that too. Wexler proceeds to KICK LOUIS OUT OF THE DANCE. He seriously pushes him out the door and locks him out. This bothers me so much!

Louis vs. Loomis: WWE SmackDown.

Ren ends up apologizing to Travis and all is well again. They dance together and it’s a little awkward. Not because of the height difference but because, as I’ve mentioned before, “Romantic Ren” is cringy. Part of me feels like she’s supposed to be though. Let’s face it - we were all overly dramatic and took “relationships” (i.e. instant messaging two words to your crush on AIM last night) very seriously in middle school.

The episode ends with Tawny approaching Loomis thinking he’s Louis. Come on, Tawny! You should be able to tell it’s not him! Loomis creepily smells Tawny’s shirt and says “…………..you smell purrrrdy.” It’s actually hilarious. Tawny is so confused. She’s just like “….you smell… purrrrdy too?” I can’t. Loomis asks her to dance and Louis ends up having to watch them slow dance from outside the window. He’s basically having a stroke screaming at Loomis to get off of her. This is so???

Wexler sees Louis at the window and goes one step further by closing the blinds on him!! I feel so bad.

This episode always leaves me feeling frustrated lol. Why does Louis have to lose like that?! :( This one is actually pretty good and entertaining though! The Louis/Loomis face-off is probably the best scene. And I don’t mind the Ren plot either! My only real issue is that there isn’t really any stand-out dialogue here. And the evil twin thing is, just… I mean… really? Season 3 was wild. I’m not gonna lie, when I first got back into the show I kept forgetting about this episode for some reason?! I don’t exactly know why. How could you forget Loomis Freeman?!

I hope you’re all doing well during this crazy time on Earth. Thank you so very much for reading, as usual! And chime in below! :)

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