#yes it is my 3 year hrt anniversary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agayconcept · 1 year

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hi hello i woke up to an emaillllllllll

guess it sent thru their automatic system bc i got it way outside of business hours which is why i'd stopped checking and didnt see it till today

point is APPARENTLY

IT WORKED. THE NEW DR IS GONNA GHOST-RUN MY HRT THRU THE CRAP DR UNTIL THE NEW YEAR WHEN I CAN TRANSFER MY TREATMENT TO HER OFFICE INSTEAD

it listed the next 3 dates n times they could fit me in (bc its literally a 15-20 min appt max so its nbd *angrily side eyes them for lying and telling me no slots would be available for weeks*) and ONE IS ON MONDAY. THIS MONDAY. 48 HOURS FROM NOW.

it says i have to call as soon as they open monday to claim a slot and if by then it's not available anymore then i'll have to pick a different one but i am gonna be the FIRST mf-ing person on that fuckin phone queue u bet ur ass

cause oh my god. first of all ???? YES, I AM, HOPEFULLY MOST LIKELY GETTING MY FULL HRT STARTED THIS WEEK. 🎉

second of all??? IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING COOL / FUNNY / ON BRAND IF MY OFFICIAL HRT START DATE/ANNIVERSARY WAS ON HALLOWEEN. THAT WOULD BE JUST. SO GOOD LMAO

idk so there's the update y'all. i should hopefully be starting treatment this week thanks to this new doctor's persistence and support. i'm very relieved, esp knowing its just for a few appts until the new year when i can switch over. fuck yes.

(for the inevitable question: no this doesnt erase the legal issues and report being done on my drs office. that will be ongoing. theyre also still witholding other things i need and denying me other services. BUT this?? this they cannae ignore any longer bc now multiple other drs, offices, legal reps and outreach workers have kept their phones ringing off the hook. wouldnt be surprised if the reason theyre giving in now is just to stop me & my backup from annoying the absolute shit out of them tbh. ah well idc why as long as it happens.)

anyway. time for happy dance? yes? lets make it seasonally appropriate

#biggest Hell Yeah to wake up to ngl #yes yes yes the power of intimidation and ruining reputations. works well dont it #gimme that gender juice babey #again it would be HILARIOUS if i could get it in on the monday so its Halloween that'd be chefs kiss #what r u going as for halloween this year? a trans person with human rights.#actually a freshly juiced fruit 😉#but anyway idc what day rly as long as it Does happen this week bc if they try to put anything off again its gonna be a no-go #both from me bc fuck that and from them bc its their excuse to ignore it again #which i will not be allowing :-)))))#i will call all day. i do not care. the one decent receptionist marianne knows me so well by now bc of it #'hi you've reached-' 'it's me again' 'oh hi roan have they Still not called you back?' 'literally mari - when do they ever?'#then theres always a big audible sigh followed by some mumbling along the lines of 'what is wrong w them honestly....'#n then she'll bring the phone back to her face n be all 'i'm very sorry i'm gonna put you straight thru to their line and im gonna mark #it as urgent. and u know what actually im also gonna go knock on their door and tell them to pick it up.' 🤦‍♂️#poor woman is the only one with a soul working there #gotta respect her for it tho

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the-mira-life-project-mtf · 5 years

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My MtF~H.R.T. Journey -- Coming Out...Maybe

Considering My New Birthday...

A birthday is a celebration of the coming out; the journey of your life. Being transgender and starting hormone replacement therapy is like having a second birthday; as you will be nothing like when you first came out. Your birthday is the day you began hormone replacement therapy and maintained the therapy without interruption. If you missed a month or two of your therapy, your birthday is modified until you reach your one year celebration.

For example, I was born in 1984; however, I began my HRT on May 6th 2018 and went until September 2018 and then missed October and November, taking my pills again the mid of December. I have been taking my pills continuous since then, modifying my birthday from May to July.

Cedar River has my year one anniversary also in July, meaning that I can pick any day in July as my H.R.T. birthday. I have chosen July 21st as my birthday as it has special significance to me and my secondary adoptive family. Legally, this second birthday means nothing as you can’t change the day you were born, but you can celebrate your transgender life like an anniversary.

Changing...

One of the factors you must consider is that changing gender typically means changing in appearance.

Taking a low dose of hormones causes the change to go very slow, but after a year...you will have to make a decision...to continue your journey or to stop. For most, this isn’t even a choice as they are dedicated through-and-through, however, when you have a family that is against transgendered individuals, that decision can be fateful!

I made the decision to go slow with my transformation to allow my family and friends to adjust to the changes. I have learned, if you change very slowly, your friends and family will seem ‘blind’ to your changes if they are around you most of the time. It is friends and family whom have not seen you for a few years, will notice the changes.

My biological family has not noticed my changes (or not commenting) and for almost a year, I have gone mainly unnoticed. However, since February 2019, I have noticed that my body is now rapidly transforming faster then ever. Just in two months, my gynecomastia-plagued pecs have blossomed into budding breasts that have formed tear-drop shapes...typical of women. My face has greatly changed from a year ago...I look into the mirror and see a hybrid of Mira and David. The image seems to change monthly, taking on a feminine form...which I desire.

The more I change, the more I desire to let Mira take full command of my life and...it seems to be on the cusp of the greatest transformation! Coming out to my second family.

A Greater Purpose...

Since 2017, I have been repaying a life-debt to my second family. As I sit here and write this, I am amazed to think how this all happened. The best way to explain it is from the beginning...

It all began back in 2010 when I worked at St. Anthony Hospital in Gig Harbor, Washington, serving the public. When you work in a hospital, you meet many individuals...many are forgettable, but a few stick out. One of those souls that have changed my life was Amanda. She was a fiery soul, dedicated to advocation of her cystic fibrosis and always put others before herself. She desired life, however, by 2013, it was taken from her.

Many, including myself were left impacted by her legacy...without knowing her, I probably would have been dead by 2015 when my lungs were infected with a terrible fungus called aspergillus. It was Amanda who sent me down the path to get checked for CF and this saved my life.

Depression took over in 2015 when my old life was destroyed, my career and interest in alpine hiking...gone. I have become, literally overnight, a CFer. This was the focal point that began my transgender life.

The life of David was over, and I desired to become Mira and by 2017, I began my journey to seek HRT. Since I was unable to do field geology, I turned my focus to continue Amanda’s work on advocating for cystic fibrosis and I wanted to help her family’s foundation. Sadly, the foundation crumbled in 2015 and by 2017, Amanda’s father had considered abandoning his promise to his daughter. Somehow, my introduction to the Messinger family was predestined and with my own battle with cystic fibrosis, Amanda’s father awoke from his depression.

Over time, unknown to me, I seem to give him hope as he was still punishing himself for the death of his daughter. I was punishing myself for not saying thank you or being compassionate enough to comfort her. I did not even go to her memorial...and that I still regret!

Month-by-month, I did everything in my power to help Mitch and Michelle. I loved them like family and felt alive around them. They were everything my own biological family wasn’t. Compassionate, loving, understanding...and supportive. By 2018, I began spending more time with them, getting to know Michelle’s children and was accepted like a brother.

A Shocking Proposal...

By late 2018, my integration into the Messinger family was becoming greater then I could ever know. I was adopted, a member of the family. I was shocked when Michelle asked what I wanted for Christmas, and if I would be around for the holidays. For awhile, I agreed and would sleep on the couch and then in the living-room. Finally, they moved the children around, and set aside a room.

“David, that room down the hall is for you...it is your room while you are here...” Mitch said as I was shocked. All my life, I’ve really never had a room given to me...I’ve in dank basements and curtain-covered rooms. It was amazing, but it was only the beginning.

Over time, friends of the Messinger’s began to mistake me as a child of Mitch’s, calling me his son. As a nonconforming, it did not offend me, it just shocked me. By 2019, Mitch and Michelle began calling me son and the second son and I did not know what to think. I felt as if things were falling apart.

With my declining health, Mitch began suggesting that I decide to live at his place permanently. At first, I could never abandon my family, but over time as my family fell from grace, moving to Mason county looked attractive.

Almost every time I came over, the offer remained on the table and I made excuses...just like I did with Amanda. I tried to balance my life between Mitch and Michelle’s and my own home...but my family wanted me to be as isolated as they made themselves. Still, my loyalty to my family persisted as I said ‘I’d consider the offer.’

I know that I can not follow through with my goals with my biological family, and once they know that I am transgender, they will throw me out...or make the rest of my life a living nightmare. I also could not put this headache on the Messinger’s as I made a final plan...

The Litman Test...

With my future certain; I see two paths...take one and it will sacrifice the other. As a transgender individual, I know that the path with my biological family will never accept Mira...it will end with just HRT. However, if I take the path with my adoptive family, there is no certainty. Sadly, it is a 50/50 chance: It all depends on the Messinger’s answer...

PATH 1:

MIRA: ‘Could you adopt me as Mira instead of David?’

MESSINGER: ‘No.’

RESULT: No Adoption, I remain with my biological family. My relationship with the Messinger’s wanes and my transgender journey ends with hormones.

PATH 2:

MIRA: ‘Could you adopt me as Mira instead of David?’

MESSINGER: ‘Yes, overtime.’

RESULT: Adoption will occur overtime, slowly wane my relationship with my family. My transgender journey maintains, but every step is considered with the family.

PATH 3:

MIRA: ‘Could you adopt me as Mira instead of David?’

MESSINGER: ‘Yes.’

RESULT: Adoption would occur rapidly, but the end of the year. My relationship with my family would wane and end. My transgender journey remains on schedule. The family included for insight.

PATH 4:

MIRA: ‘Could you adopt me as Mira instead of David?’

MESSINGER: ‘Maybe.’

RESULT: No Adoption, I remain with my biological family, however maintain relationship with the Messingers as Mira. Will assess a year later to see what their opinion is.

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stilinskivoids-end · 6 years

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GIC Leeds

Tw: suicide, self harm, GIC Leeds, sexual assault mention.

I had my first appointment on the 6th of July and my second appointment on the 2nd of november. I hope to see them in 3-4 months to hopefully receive hormones to treat my now diagnosed gender dsyphoria. I was on the waiting list for 1 year and 10 months.

The first appointment was just asking questions about my life and what I did and whenever I had socially transitioned and how my family support me. I was also asked about what I want from the GIC and whenever I had changed documents and what my mental health looked like. This appointment was with Michelle Cooke

I was deferred from hormones on the second appointment due to blips in my mental health. However my mum came with me and I was glad because I'm more confident when my mum's there as I don't feel like I have to prove myself to everybody in the room. She brought up a bit about my sexual assault a couple of years ago to explain an attempt that I had in August. I'm not sure honestly, I hate summer much prefer the dark days and dark nights.

I spoke to Louise Cooke and Michelle Marriott.

The appointment lasted around 50 mins with me babbling alot and not allowing them to finish.

They asked my questions about my gender history I couldn't answer some of them due not having any recollection of my childhood years. Ones about when did I start to present as male and when did I understand the term transgender and start to realise that I was a boy.

They asked me about my family and whenever they were supporting and who I lived with. They said I had a good support network.

They asked about what I liked to do when I was a child and I said football and karate. They asked what friends I had and I tried to explain but I couldn't remember so my mum explained that I tried to hang with the boys but they didn't want me too then I tried to hang with the girls and they didn't want me too. So i excluded myself. They are me whenever I was more comfortable presenting as male than I was as female and that was a definite yes.

They then asked me about my mental health and whenever it impacts my life and it was another yes, I explained how anxiety stopped me from doing things such as attending work, college and even going on outings. But I told them that I never let it get the better of me and always try to attend no matter what. They asked me what medication I was taking and what help I was recieving. They could see on the system that I was receiving support from city wide DBT and asked me whenever it was helping, I explained that I was unsure but like coffee whenever you put it in a coffee maker you don't know whenever it's going to be a good coffee until the coffee maker has finished making it. They understood and agreed it was good that I was patiently waiting for a positive result and already seeing positive changes in the reducement of self harm to nil since the August melt down, my mum put this down to my new flat mate moving in and the fact that I've started DBT but not only that but Leeds festival was on and she thinks it caused an anniversary effect. They also asked about previous attempts on my life, whenever I had any current plans to end my life and what kind of self harm I do and when was the last time I did it, answered accordingly.

After this they explained that they do this because of the hormones causing a second 'puberty' which can cause emotions to be high.

Overall a positive outcome from the second appointment with both clinicians agreeing on a diagnosis of gender dsyphoria, but awaiting the next appointment to compile all findings and to present a diagnosis and treatment of HRT (T)

I thought because no one had spoke about first appointments with GIC's in a while, I would.

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