#you are allowed

[velvetshirtnumber3]

Thoughts About Last Twilight Finale as I watched it

One part of me is happy to seeing them flirting and getting along, but the other rage-filled part of me that has not healed from episode 11 is honestly kind of upset about them being able to do that again like the breakup wasn't as painful as it was. Like obviously its been several years and i'm glad they aren't holding onto any of the pain from it because that wouldn't be healthy but just.....it hurts a little seeing the characters be okay when i'm still not. (And like it was a painful breakup and we're seeing no trace of that with their interactions).

I appreciate Night and Porjai little attempts to get them to talk and Mhok being a bridesmaid makes me happy.

Ok so they've talked about the breakup and Mhok's thanking Day for it? And saying he was right? So we just aren't going to discuss that fact that Mhok's actions were a combo of things besides pity? Like his trauma with his sister? I want it to be addressed gosh darn it, they haven't talked about it enough in this show. They spent this whole show talking about how Mhok didn't pity him and now you're saying that in an instance where Mhok's actions could be explained by a couple different reasons, you went with "actually he does pity him" as the reason? I just feel like there were better ways this could have been addressed but they had limited time.

"I can't believe its been three years" 

*me, upset, staring at my screen* "Me too"

(You went three years without talking?!?! After breaking up over one argument!?!?)

"Whatever problems you have, talk to each other" where was this advice during episode 11, it could have saved a lot of time and heartbreak

You know what, I'm tired of being upset, bring out Poomjai, i want to see her and have Mhok see her

ok she's out of focus but she looks very sweet

the problem here is that I can't tell if Day is just hesitant to try again with Mhok or actually doesn't want to, so every time Mhok references it I feel awkward. I know its supposed to be a romance show so they'll probably end up together but.....

ok Day made a joke about it so I guess he's not too uncomfortable but still...

Poor mhok.....I honestly hope that if they do decide to get back together, its because Day went after him and told him that he really did want to get back with him because I feel like too much of the show has been Mhok taking the steps forward with their relationship

looks like i get my wish....ah the classic airport scene

I highly doubt he actually left on the plane but you know what, maybe its good to let them sit with this emotion for a little while (I'm sorry, I'm still so mad)

So it was a setup...but how????? like???? what???? If you knew Mhok would be in there, when did he let you know, because there was no point in running around the airport if you knew he would stay....

Honestly I feel like the breakup was pointless now... like yeah they had the conversation about growth and whatever but it feels like Mhok acts the exact same so I don't feel necessarily if he can differentiate between he role as a caretaker and as a boyfriend, which was a legitimate problem. And I also kind of hate that he is apologizing. It just feels like Mhok is once again focusing on others feelings and not his own, and so they will run into the same issue as they did before.

As you can probably tell from all this, I now feel very protective of Mhok and it makes me upset that he hasn't gotten the chance to work through some of his issues. I know he is more the type to pretend everything is okay, but there has to be a limit. Like at the least acknowledgement of his pain

They're having a baby!?!?

We get a happy ending

Final thoughts: 

It was a good show and I enjoyed it for most of it. I understand why they did the breakup (though I don't think it was entirely necessary), and yes it may have been good for them as a couple, however I wish it had either happened earlier or they made the show longer because it felt very quick leading up to it, and I felt like the last episode just didn't have time for them to discuss it in a more meaningful way and actually show why it was beneficial for both of them. I also think it would have given more time for the audience to process everything (it resulted in me thinking too much about the breakup to be able to be happy at some of the good things about episode 12). We got one conversation about why breaking up allowed them to grow, and I just wish we had a bit more than that. I also would have liked it if it had discussed Mhok's troubles and emotions a bit more. It led to the relationship feeling a little bit unbalanced some of the time. Overall (!) I enjoyed it (with the exception of certain storylines that I have already discussed). I don't think I can ever classify as a comfort show again (as I did before episode 11). It was definitely not perfect, but it wasn't an awful show, and so I am going to try and remember the good parts of it.

#just my opinion #if you are really upset with the ending #you are allowed #i enjoyed a lot of the show so I don't want the last couple episodes to ruin it entirely for me #but yeah everyone please be respectful #i myself aside from a couple other posts i want to make am just going to take some space from the show for a while until i feel calmer #about the ending #last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight episode 12 #last twilight mhok #last twilight day #last twilight porjai #last twilight night #rambles

[duck-accino]

she is dying of neglect

#frye #frye splatoon #eat cement #splatoon 3 #splatoon #all im saying is that if she doesnt at least get some points next fest #you WILL get banned #you are allowed #there are no consequences #but you will be banned #deep cut

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

#validation #own way #quotes #words #life lessons #wisdom #inspirational words #life quotes #growth #healing #self knowledge #you are allowed #change

[meatculture]

i recently blocked messi's name but every time a blocked post appears i click it because surely no one i follow would reblog pictures of him

#well it ALWAYS turns out to be messi pics #you are allowed #but you're on thin ice

[pommatre]

Just made a pot of soup.

#you are allowed #encouraged even #to be jealous #soup is so important to the human soul #chicken soup for the soul was so right about soup #its potato and sausage soup btw

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

#trb.txt #me at myself you are NOT ALLOWED to get takeout again this week we have food at home 😭

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind

#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up #and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due. #you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal. #or really. you pretend to wonder #because you know the reason you cant work like normal #you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough #mine #academia #covid mention

[transarsonist]

but no yeah lets have the conversation:

"the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website" Excuse, shouldnt have bought the 'go nuts show nuts whatever' website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we're hosted on" Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED

"we own the site we get to make the rules" Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it" Argument based on fallacy banning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED

#politics #tumblr #tumblr staff #very well #if you will not allow me to rate this conversation as “appropriate for everyone” with the associated tags it would be best associated with #then it simply will not have those tags #this is case in point

[demadogs]

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

#respectfully i think youre a bit crazy if you love spoilers but ill allow it bc it means i get to yell about one of my favorite shows #i did this with st to my friend #it was very fun #1k #10k #post 10k tag: i am shocked theres more people in the tags saying theyre the ones that likes spoilers #im the one who tells someone everything

[renthony]

Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.

People make shit. It's what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, "hey, wouldn't that be fucked up? Wild, right?"

Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.

I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I'm not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don't think I can't handle it, I don't watch it. It's that simple.

#this post is directly inspired by that goddamn Stop Setting Horror In Hospitals post I keep seeing #fuck you actually I don't care if YOU find it triggering #plenty of my disabled friends including myself like seeing hospital horror used to examine systemic ableism and abuse by doctors #you don't have to engage with it #but you also don't get to say it's not allowed to exist anymore #jackass #original post

[saints-who-never-existed]

“In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy—as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh—as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege—as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover—as long as he is riddled with bullets. 

Violence makes the homo-eroticism of many “male” genres invisible; it is a structural mechanism of plausible deniability.”

–Tarantino’s Incarnational Theology: Reservoir Dogs, Crucifixions, and Spectacular Violence. Kent L. Brintnall.

#Another day another quote that's been rattling around in my head for an age #Which again sums things up better than I ever could #And of course it's not just about the physical deterioration at the end of the story allowing for intimacy #The idea permeates the whole show #Tozer holding Heather as his exposed brain freezes on the deck #Crozier and Hickey reaching a state of psychological intimacy but only through the violence of the lash #You could argue a link between Hickey and Goodsir too through the intimacy and violence inflicted on Irving #Both his killing and his autopsy #The Terror #The Terror AMC #Meta

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[communistkenobi]

whenever right wing people talk about “parental rights” they are talking about property rights. they are arguing for further political and legal enshrinement of their children as their literal actual property

#I also wonder if this is like a middle class expression of a desire to shore up other property rights eg homeownership #like homeownership is a foundation base for the nuclear family. property rights allow you to own the resource #that produces the family and allows it to be ‘private’ #so like children are another frontier of this property relationship #anyway. bad time to be a trans person lol #& all the actual legitimate issues w/ parental rights ie indigenous genocide forced sterilisation mass incarceration the foster system etc #are not even remotely concerns for these people because well. they’re fash lol

[anneapocalypse]

I really don't know how to explain to people that supporting gender liberation (liberation for trans people, liberation for gnc people, liberation from all oppressive gender roles) means you have to be able to see someone you think is cis "crossdressing" and be cool about it. You have to be able to see someone presenting in a way that doesn't make sense to you and not interrogate them about their identity. You have to be able to hear someone express a gender identity you don't understand and go "Huh! Neat," and go about your business. If you truly want gender liberation for all then you have to stop trying to exert control over other people's genders, period.

#gender #the need to have everyone define their gender for you before they're allowed to just live is... bad actually. it's not progressive.

[sophie-baybey]

I think the invention of the term "traumadump" has done discussion of mental health a lot of harm. I keep seeing discourse vs whether or not it's okay to talk about heavy topics with your friends, and like... I feel like there is a very big and important difference between my definition of traumadumping (ie. Frequently and habitually diverting your conversations with others towards your own misery, often with the goal of focusing attention and sympathy towards yourself at the expense of those around you, and without recognizable effort to reciprocate your empathy towards those you are speaking to or to ensure their comfort) VS the mere act of having heavier conversations with those around you. I've seen a lot of backlash to the idea of traumadumping as a concept lately (they paywalled human connection etc etc) but I think it's worth recognizing there is absolutely a kind of behavior that can create a negative feedback loop with this stuff. Especially if you navigate a lot of spaces in social media, it's not uncommon to find people dropping really heavy stuff on complete strangers unprompted. Idk, I think there's a degree of nuance to be had that's maybe getting a bit lost due to everyone having different definitions of what it means to "trauma dump."

#as a moderator for several large discords #i can tell you with first hand experience that yes #traumadumping can be a real problem #but also youre allowed to have heart to hearts with friends #idk

[thechekhov]

ah, childhood.

#tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #the blissful early years #chekhov draws tlt #chekhov draws the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #see its funny because theyre children who are not allowed to play together #and are both starved of human connection and warm touch #so they get their fill the only way they can #by raising skeletons and fighting said skeletons as a form of exercise #gideon is 7 here and harrow is 6 #you bet your ass harrow still has those teeth #gideons skeletons are the strongest thing she has in her arsenal