#you brilliant fucking genius

[live-laugh-lobotomyy]

just watched the ahsoka finale. oh my god. OH MY GOD.

#ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #ahsoka #dave filoni you absolute madman #you brilliant fucking genius #he has singehandedly provided context for everything that ever has and ever will happen in star wars #AND I AM EATING IT UP #BUT ITS SO TRAGIC SO I’M ALSO CRYING #THRAWN IS BACK AND AT THE HELM OF THE EMPIRE???? OH JUST ANOTHER CASUAL GALACTIC WIDE CIVIL WAR THAT'S FINE #MORTIS ARC REFERENCE????? NOT EVEN A REFERENCE LIKE THAT ARC NOW HAS EVEN MORE SIGNIFICANCE AND IS SO IMPORTANT TO SW AS A WHOLE #THE GALAXY BEING CAUGHT IN AN ENDLESS LOOP OF GOOD AND EVIL AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKED BECAUSE OF WHAT WENT DOWN ON MORTIS #DEATH TROOPERS?!?!?!?!?!??! IN MY CANON STAR WARS!!?!?!?!? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK #AHSOKA'S CHARACTER ARC OVER THIS SEASON WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HEEERRRR #ANAKIN WATCHING OVER HER AT THE END???? JUST LIKE HE DID IN ROTJ I'M SOBBING #WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?????? #NO IDEA BUT I'M SURE IT WILL INCLUDE PAAIINNN #I BETTER SEE MORE OF HAYDEN AS ANAKIN I REFUSE TO BELIVE THAT THIS WAS IT #this episode and this series as a whole was so much more heavy than i expected #but i don't know why i didn't see it coming because it's DAVE FUCKING FILONI #also the title of this masterpiece being a narnia reference is killing me #I NEED SEASON TWO. NOW. #give it to me hat man i am in your walls

[untimelyambition]

the whole diamond heist scene with the lasers in gl2 is genuinely the funniest thing i have ever seen in my entire life. vinny so reassuringly saying “throw me” and ranboo and sneeg not even arguing with him just flat out agreeing to lob him across the room. the different shots of them swinging him back and forth to get momentum. the fucking puppet flying through the air. sneeg and ranboo staring off into the distance to watch him soar, the instant cut to them holding each other screaming. vinny hitting the fucking roof???? the elation. the anvil falling sound effect. the looney tunes stare as it falls from the sky. vinny’s final words. the fucking anvil crushing his head in (and the shock that came watching it live and not being able to pause or rewind and see the cut). ranboo making the world’s worst pun. sneeg’s indignant “i’m not throwing you!’. everyone moving on as if it didn’t happen. truly the funniest scene in all written history. i will never recover.

#i think there’s an element to watching it live that really elevated the comedy and the shock #bc it was a complete tonal shift too like all of a sudden it goes from serious problem solving to flying puppets #this like borderline unreality which is so different from the last scene #makes the comedy and change in tone so unexpected and that much funnier #and having no idea an anvil was going to crush vinny and just having it come out of nowhere #and he DIES and the cut is so quick that i didn’t notice it live obviously and so the shock factor is definitely there #i thought we were getting midsommar 2.0 on the ranboolive channel #and then everyone just fucking moving on like it didn’t happen so you barely have time to recover #so much happened in the span of about one minute i had no idea how to react #by far the hardest i’ve laughed i think in all of gen loss so far #fucking genius brilliant fantastic comedy script writing editing production EVERYTHING MWAH #i love this silly little show so much #generation loss #genloss #generation loss spoilers #genloss spoilers #ranboo #tilda rambling

[motherfuckingbrad]

megan ganz is the smartest woman alive because if Brad From Monetization was played by literally anyone else i would hate his stupid fucking guts for being so greedy and capitalistic and mean because that’s literally everything i’m against but because she got danny pudi to play brad i suddenly excuse every single one of his misdeeds and just want to wrap him up in a blanket and hug him to my chest. she’s brilliant

#like seriously #i hate people like that #and i get that’s kind of the joke but i would give him so much more shit #but because brad is The Danny Pudi i love him so so so so much #i say this like i would even know he existed if he wasn’t played by danny #danny is the only reason i even found out about and watched the show LOL #mq owes like half their viewers to that man alone #anyway that’s why meghan is a brilliant genius because she knew this would happen #because it’s fucking danny pudi how could you not love him yknow #<3 #mythic quest #danny pudi #brad bakshi #brad from monetization #megan ganz

[ridgewriter]

I have one thing to say in response to the last 15 minutes of Good Omens season 2:

What.

In the ever loving FUCK.

DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?!

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #spoilers #I was warned that it was gonna hurt #this hurt so much worse than anything I could possibly imagine #where the fuck are you Neil? #I just wanna talk #you brilliant genius #you’re a fucking lunatic and I love you for it #but FUCK YOU #crowley my beloved #Aziraphale my poor confused boy #save them #somewhere god is crying because she is just as invested in their love as we are #I spent the last 15 minutes of the show basically sobbing hysterically while screaming #I am not exaggerating when I say I was less distressed my own parents actual divorce when I was 6 #this is much worse

[bruqh]

even as a cleric aabria still emanates Wizard Hubris. i love her :)

#aabria my beloved #aabria iyengar #just catching up on cr and omggggggg #deannas commune ahhhhh #are you worth saving? #AHHHHHHH #AABRIA U FUCKING PSYCHOPATH BRILLIANT GENIUS CONFRONTATIONAL POWER MOVING WOMAN YOUUUUU #😍😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😭😍😍😍😭😭😭😍😭 #critical role

[rantingravingliving]

Light me up

This is me after listening to D-Day.

Me again after shaking my head and shouting, "Fuck you, Min Yoongi! You fucking genius! You are the biggest motherfucker! I so fucking love you and your fucking brilliant mind! You fucking made me feel so fucking good, you fucker!"

This is me again after being absolutely fucked by Min Yoongi. See that smile? That is post-orgasmic D-Day bliss.

This is me again so fucking ready for round 2 of D-Day, of motherfucker Min Yoongi.

And please, for the love of Suga, listen to the D-Day, top to bottom, on Apple Music or YouTube Music with your headphones on because listening to Min Yoongi on Spotify is such an injustice.

Watch the fucking MV of Haegeum while you are on it because actor Yoongi needs his award ASAP!

Enjoy D-Day! You are in for a fucking good time!

P.S.

From the first listen, I was drawn to AMYGDALA. But when HUH?! came up, I teared up hearing Hobi. But damn, Hobi sounds so fucking sexy on the track!

#agust d d day #min yoongi #bts suga #suga #Yoongi you fucking genius i love you #i haven't even read the lyrics just saw snippets on the tl but everything looks brilliant #Youtube

[leatherbootlace]

May we see your Headcanon for Henry?

this finally gave me the drive to finish the Henry!Lore it's great what demand does to a mf

Henry is a long, fast engine. He has a thoroughbred look and like all thoroughbreds, tends to be somewhat highly strung and prone to illness. But he has a new shape now, and sympathetically driven, he will give any engine a run for its money. Though his temperament has been made famous over the years, he’s a bit of a worrier, but he works hard on the Main Line and will give any engine a run for their money.

NAME: Henry (nee Henry Regaby “Regina”) NUMBER: NWR No 3 OPERATOR: North Western Railway BASIS: LMS Stanier Class 5MT 4-6-0 Tender Engine - Rebuilt from NWR “White Elephant” Class 4-6-2 Tender Engine circa 1935 GENDER: Trans-Masculine - He/Him/His ORIENTATION: Homo-Romantic (Gay) - Espoused to Bear EYE COLOUR: Amber LINE: Sudrian Main Line

Original Sprites by Princess-Muffins, Cj-The-Creator, Diamond-Jubilee, wyattloughrie, RedEngineStudioNo5, & DemonOfNowhere.

Any & All Modifications made by Myself, LeatherBootlace.

Keep Reading Below for More Lore!

[[HISTORY]] Henry was built as the original Flagship Engine for the North Western Railway, but his steaming troubles and various other issues left him relegated to lesser work on the railway. This would continue for some time until the Fat Controller purchased a special surplus of Welsh Coal for the poor engine, allowing him to work wonders for the Main Line. But one dark winter morning, the infamous Killdane Rail Disaster occurred, leaving Henry in critical condition. He was sent to Crewe to be repaired and rebuilt, with Hatt using the event as an opportunity to remedy much of his original faults. When Henry returned, he was a healthier and happier engine, ready to tackle whatever job given to him. Henry’s new place in the railway family meant he was now a true workhorse for the railway, and he quickly became the backbone of goods traffic across the island. Though proud of this, Henry at times felt his work went unappreciated, especially by the likes of Gordon & James. At some point during the 1980s, Henry was moved to the sheds at the Other End of the Line, which briefly caused a stir with the Big Engines. Though some *cough* Gordon *cough* thought lowly of this decision, Henry was glad for it. Not only did it mean he could better start his work for the day, but it also meant he could spend more time with his beloved Bear.

[[ROUGH START]] In the 1920s, the NWR was in search of a Flagship Express Engine for their railway. Topham Hatt advocated for the purchase of a Robinson Atlantic from the Mainland, but when the railway was approached by a relatively unknown engineer with designs for a custom-built Pacific, Lord Harwick* was quick to approve. It was a cold January Day when their Pacific, Henry Regaby, arrived in 1922. Named after Lord Harwick’s son, Henry was truly a splendid sight, adorned in House Regaby colours and looking quite elegant. To display the railway’s newfound might, Lord Harwick had arranged a special Express for Henry from the Big Station all the way to the Other End of the Line. That elegance quickly went out the window by the time they reached the Station before the Hill. Soot blanketed his once beautiful livery, and he looked very ill. Mr. Hatt pulled Henry off the train and ordered Alice and another to cover the Express while they looked over Henry. While most of the Directors were disappointed when they learned of Henry’s design flaws, Lord Harwick was furious, and quite angered of being cheated out of a Flagship Engine. It was this day when Henry gained the infamous nickname of “White Elephant”, something Lord Harwick would refer to him as until his death. In the following weeks, Henry would be repainted into NWR Green, though that barely changed his temperament after the disaster that had been January. Come Autumn, the infamous Tunnel Incident occurred, and the rest is history… *Lord Harwick is the title for Sir Albert Regaby, original chairman of the North Western Railway, and otherwise known as the most miserable and pretentious asshole to ever grace the Island of Sodor.

[[TUNNEL TROUBLE or HENRY'S TUNNEL WAS AN INSIDE JOB]] To put it bluntly, the entire ordeal behind Henry’s stay in the tunnel and him getting out is a total mess to explain and I would be here all day. If I were to try and explain it, this lore would go on for much longer than it should. So instead, I’ll direct you to @hazel-of-sodor's take on the Sad Story of Henry, which itself is based on @mean-scarlet-deceiver's take on the story which is brilliant and you should go read it here. I can’t help but nab ideas from other people for my own AU. If it’s not nailed down it’s getting thrown into the stew of lore that is my headcanon.

[[THE KIPPER'S CURSE]] One fateful night in December of 1934, tragedy struck the Island of Sodor. In a matter of moments, the single biggest rail disaster since Godred’s Fall left the Sudrian Main Line entirely cut-off, and multiple engines in critical condition. Repairs took some time, and it was a while before the first train of the day could get through. But ever since that fateful day, something about the Flying Kipper seems… cursed. It’s become a train forever associated with one of the worst accidents in the Island’s History, and it’s not uncommon for something to go wrong whenever it’s pulled during the Winter Months. Although it was officially proven that weather had caused the accident, some (both accredited and disapproved) thinkers have strangely caught on to the thought that the accident was caused thanks to sabotage. Coupled with Lord Harwick’s resignation shortly after in the following years, some have argued the accident was caused to prove how ineffective the Chairman’s leadership was… or that he himself caused the accident to rid himself of the greatest blight to his family’s name.

[[A FINE PLACE FOR SICK ENGINES]] Henry’s Rebuild at Crewe is largely a blur to the Green Engine. For good reason, of course. Henry’s Rebuild was so extensive he might as well have been a different engine afterwards, though for the most part, he was. It is here that the ‘Two Henrys’ Theories are brought up. Due to the nature of the Killdane Rail Disaster, some things had best been kept secret from the public and even the rest of the railway. One of these things was just how close Henry was to dying. It wasn’t talked about, but according to some of Fat Controller I’s memoirs, things were very dire before Henry could get to Crewe. Once taken up by Stanier, most of the knowledge becomes a mystery known only to Charles Hatt, who was directly involved in the rebuild, and has remained tight-lipped over the whole ordeal. It is largely that secrecy to Henry that has allowed the situation to continue on as it has. Some engines say that a selection of Henry’s parts were passed on from one design to the other, with select parts chosen to maintain Henry’s consciousness. Others, though few and far between, say Henry’s “rebuild” never happened, and that the Henry we know today is a different engine entirely. However, some stranger individuals believe that Henry’s rebuild was a coverup for something greater – an attempt to dabble into “Engine Magic” – and that Stanier was seeking to understand the very nature of mechanical life for various purposes. Any time this particular theory has been brought up it’s been laughed out the shed, but some still believe for some reason…

[[FOREST THROUGH THE TREES]] Between Crovan’s Gate and Vicarstown lies Henry’s Forest, known historically as Scacahoo. For years this forest stood untouched by man or machine, before the Sodor & Mainland sought to carve a path through to connect the two towns. Many believe this was the most major factor in the line’s undoing, apart from their failures elsewhere with the Ballahoo Tunnel and their attempts to bridge the Walney Channel, as such an undertaking was incredibly difficult for the small line. Come the Great War, however, and the task was now much more manageable. The Admiralty had no qualms over the war effort, and cleared through the forest with little care for the ecosystem. They needed the wood, after all, what difference did it make. Come peacetime, the wooded hillside was scarred heavily, and a fund was put together to restore it. It took much convincing, but eventually Topham Hatt organised for the North Western Railway to assist in this task, and placed Henry to assist with it. Henry thought lowly of this at first, but over time, he grew a fondness for the forest. On his days off from work, or in between trains, you can often find him resting here amongst nature. He enjoys this greatly, and holds the forest very near and dear to him.

[[THE WARTIME BUSH]] Amidst the relaxed Engine Presentation Codes during the Second Great War, Henry’s Beard was made the only exception to the No-Shave-Unless-Absolutely-Necessary Orders, and for good reason. Henry’s beard grew in fast and thick, and could be a hassle to keep regularly maintained during the strenuous era of that time. Following the War, Henry could often be seen with a heavy stubble on his face. Bear is a keen for Henry to grow his beard out again. Henry personally believes he’ll need convincing to do that anytime soon (for the sake of his crew), but he’s not against it.

[[TO BE ENTERPRISING]] Speaking of Bear. Henry and Bear went on their first date during the Summer of '67, shortly after the Fat Controller sent the infamous 'Spamcan' packing with her train of tankers. The two love each other dearly, though it took some time for Bear to get fully adjusted to life on the island - mainly for how differently things seemed to operate compared to how they were on the Mainland. In his later years, Henry has gone on to become an exemplary engine, truly enterprising on all accounts. His dedication to his loved ones, his railway, and all his friends have marked him as an engine of distinction, respected by some of the most well-regarded and famous engines in the world. He's even been deemed an honorary member of the Gresley Pacific Family, since he technically was the first of their design (and was largely done to bring Mallard down a peg after she got rather big for his wheels during her Golden Jubilee). But it all means nothing to Henry without Bear to be at his side.

[[STUPID BIRD]] Henry does not like birds. He thinks of them as annoying pests that tend to be bothersome at best. In short, they’re stupid to him. Owls tend to unnerve him (and rightfully so).

#Sodor's Biggest Asshole #ttte #ttte au #thomas and friends #ttte henry #henry the green engine #rws #railway series #sprites #pixel art #ttte fanart #i was kinda sitting on henry for a while cause i wasn't sure how i wanted to tackle the tunnel #cause like #scarlet and hazel's take on it with the engines scheming on top of hatt's scheming is fucking brilliant #absolutely genius #makes the story so much better in retrospective #also in case you can't tell lord harwick/albert regaby is the historic holder of award #his ego knows no bounds #the killdane rail disaster is the flying kipper wreck if you didn't realize it but it's not as bad as you think it is #it's worse (: #somebody's gonna die but it ain't my place to say who #engine magic isn't real yet but it may be one day #also she/her spamcan because i said so #her name is candice because of course it is #get it? spam'CAN'? 'CAN'dice? #i'll see myself out #Bootlace's TTTE AU

[elvencantation]

just finished reading a face like glass for the second time and HOLY SHIT I'm so glad my brain will conveniently forget plot points and stuff because the end of the epilogue hit me like a fucking punch to the GUT

#how did i forget that?? #its so brilliant!!! #ahhh i cant #a face like glass #frances hardinge #you absolute genius #which kinda makes the cuckoo song the opposite of this book XD #god i love her writing #like all the pieces fell into place #i stopped one paragraph from the end was like- HOLY FUCK #blue reads

[shatteredfears-arch]

i gained sudden muse bc i saw cj/dani reply to cassie

and what do i do the second i go on lappy

browse carrd templates

#out. #...... i'm not saying i don't like mine anymore #bc i love it i got two in the deal i can link whoever to the page you can buy the template from #bc even tho i pay for carrd premium i am too stupid to figure out how to do shit myself entirely #except the making each think link to larger bios i did that myself that did not come with the template #the template was just the mini bios i made the large bios myself #where you click on the mini bios name and it leads you to the large i mean #i did that #btu i am not intelligent or brilliant like cj or ty or literally all yall magicians w your work #i bought my psd bc i knew i couldnt make one pretty enough for ppl to wanna interact w me #bc all mine didn't color block or anything #and honestly the one i use from i believe kuro is so frickan gORGEOUS like wtf they're a genius i wish i could donate a livers worth of #money to them they deserve everything bc how tf do you that brilliant how #my area of work is edits colors are so unbelievably hard on me lmao #my vision my first ever eye doctor test was 20/25 #and by the second i needed #i dont know what they're called i think it was like 145 something in the numbers but my mom had to #figure out what that meant bc sams clubs number system is fucking weird #my lenses aren't like thick thick but they arent thin and my visions just gotten worse #i rly need to do the eye doctor thing before my insurance runs out in december lol #maybe wednesday idk #i cant even see what im writing here rn and for once its nothing to do w dyslexia it is entirely my vision sucking #since i cracked my head open two years ago i can't see v well at all #ironically it was also cracking my head open that made my ex //friends// call me selfish and attention seeking like #im so sorry i almost died for attention somehow by non chalantly mentioning it a week later lol #ppl are weird idk man #i cant see #that was my point #thats probably why i like to lean into cass obvious vision issues bc SAME GIRL SAME #only i'm not entirely blind in my oen eye yet but

[instafuck]

https://www.tumblr.com/instafuck/724188454580355072?source=share

Your tagsss 👀

okay so like i wanna clarify i do not hate the barbie movie, i saw it and i really enjoyed it and all personal opinions about plot points aside there was nothing wrong with it.

that being said,

this movie was not servicing anyone from a "barbie fan" standpoint. it had a lot of cute throwback stuff, and it had a lot of past barbie products. but what i heard from my friends and what i've seen is that no one truly got "nostalgia" from the barbie movie. people recognized toys, and the message those characters were used to convey was amazing. but barbie the brand, as it was, was not the focus.

(side note, i'm not trying to say all media with preexisting ip's are about nostalgia, but people definitely expected to see more specific callbacks to things they considered "iconic barbie")

in fact, as a "not a barbie kid" person, all i could see was revitalization. look at the toys on the shelves in the barbie displays now, they're all the toy sets you saw "throwbacks" to in the movie. look at ken's "kenough" sweater, barbie's adult clothes. on mattel's part, this was rejuvenation. this was, "we see that teens-young adults love a little edge and "surprisingly deep" plots in things they love". so of course they greenlit a movie that jabbed at mattel, because they know people will *appreciate* that and it'll pay off.

they know that if they say they know what's wrong with barbie conceptually, that we'll all go "yeah barbie feminism was a little outdated atp but the movie showed they care!" AND THATS NOT FALSE! but at the end of the day, what i see is a smart business move. that's not a bad thing, but it's what i personally was seeing on screen when i watched it. I was seeing barbie products targeted to adults selling like hot cakes, barbie makeup, barbie mirrors, barbie shirts and costumes.

before this movie, mattel might have had a harder time selling all-ages/adult products with barbie theming. now, those products will SELL.

and again, i'm not trying to trash the movie, i loved it and i can't wait to rewatch it when it's on streaming, and i genuinely believe we will all be talking about greta gerwig and this movie as one of the most important movies of our time thanks to its boldness, popularity, and the current social climate - but i couldn't stop thinking about the fact that truly, barbie as a brand and product wise, was being very carefully tailored to bring back timeless products to the top of toy sales, and to open the door for more widely appealing products with barbie on it - and i found that idea, contrast to the plot and message of the movie going on at the same time, pretty fascinating.

i just found it interesting from the perspective of strategy how carefully tailored the movie was to feature timeless, safe toy sets and create a new slate for a completely new aesthetic that simultaneously cashes in on the popularity of retro aesthetics, y2k aesthetics, and the rise we've seen of embracing childhood or fun media.

#LONG POST #instafuck #it's not a bad thing at all #but i think a lot of people especially 20 somethings and teenagers left with a sort of vague feeling that something was missing #and i think this is what they're feeling #when i said things like this to my friends that were barbie kids they agreed? so i think i understand what that feeling was a little #and it was just. genius marketing. absolute fucking slam dunk man #like the fact that you're going to see a lot of adults with barbie clothes and products and no one's really going to bat an eye? #that wouldn't have been the case before this! people would assume it was a toy or that you had a special interest #now? #it's gonna be everywhereeee #in fact i would love to see more of this #if you're gonna do something like this to revitalize a brand it better at least be good!!! #im excited for the other movies mattel is working on too #it was just overall a really brilliant move but it explains why you didn't see true callbacks to what a lot of the target audience consider #peak barbie media/toys #also sorry if this is wordy and a little messy im drinking rn LOl

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ BURNER ACCOUNTS — GOJO SATORU.

contents. fem! reader, loser ex-boyfriend! satoru, exes to lovers, college! au, satoru making burners to watch your stories, miscommunications—satoru is not perfect but he’s trying okay?, gossip icons shoko & suguru <3, i had a silly idea and it turned into 2.6k words my bad

there’s a peculiar account watching your instagram stories—@user273582838, to be exact. you don’t think it’s a very well timed coincidence seeing as you and satoru have just broken up—so you decide to do some digging. 

which of course, means enlisting the help of shoko.

“i think satoru is stalking me,” you mumble, making her pause in the middle of sipping on her energy drink—for a med student, her habits don’t seem every healthy. this is her third one of the day.

“okay,” she nods, “i wouldn’t put it past him, but what makes you say that?”

“look,” you turn your phone to face her, the blank, anonymous instagram account right there on the list of users who have viewed your story. she crinkles her brows, blinking for a moment before humming.

“that definitely seems like something he’d do,” she nods—and then, “i have an idea.”

“okay,” you brighten, nodding enthusiastically, “what’s the plan?”

“try and log in with that user.”

“shoko,” you look at her like she’s grown two heads. maybe the lack of sleep is finally getting to her—no amount of energy drinks can save her at this point. “we don’t have the password—”

“—and that, dummy,” she rolls her eyes, making you scowl at the name, “is why we click forgot my password and see the last four digits of the phone number that registered the account. if it’s satoru’s number, we’ll know.”

okay—you take it back. shoko is a genius and a full-blown brilliant mastermind that you could never hope to come close to. you’re glad you chose her to help—you’re even more glad she agreed because you would not have thought of that. this is fantastic. a fool-proof plan. 

you grin wide, eyes lighting up as you gasp, “shoko! you’re so smart, that’s a great idea!”

“i know,” she grumbles, “took you long enough to notice.”

ignoring her, you quickly pull out your phone and try to log onto the account, typing user273582838 into the username box and clicking forgot my password. shoko is hovering over your shoulder, and your breath is held as you wait for the page to load and the number to pop up. within just a few seconds, the first few digits are censored with asterisks, but the last four show, and—

yeah. it’s satoru’s fucking number. just as you suspected—you and shoko scoff together at the same time, rolling your eyes. 

“well,” you look at her, lips pursed in irritation—of course, satoru refuses to give you space and leave you alone after your break up (which was his fault, might you add), “what now?”

“send the verification code to his number,” she presses, “it’ll definitely spook him when he sees.”

she’s so good at what she does, you think in awe, staring at her with heart-eyes. nodding quickly, you press send code. 

hopefully, that’ll give satoru the heart attack you want it to.

———

satoru stares at his screen in abject horror—who could be trying to log into his burner account? the only person who should possibly stumble across it is you, but surely you’re not closely inspecting your story viewers, are you? so then, who could be trying to log onto the instagram account of @user273582838?

“suguru,” he says in a trance, “are you trying to log onto the burner?”

“are you bringing that shit up again?” suguru grumbles, controller in hand as he pays attention to the screen, “i told you that was a stupid idea. a pathetic one too—”

“well, i didn’t want to keep waiting for you to send screenshots to see the stories—”

“you’re a fucking loser, do you know that? pathetic,” suguru reiterates. “move on.”

“no,” satoru hisses in disbelief, “why would i do that? now, was that you or not? you’re the only other person who knows the user.”

“as if i care to log onto your loser burner account,” suguru snorts, shaking his head in amusement. he beats satoru’s high score, turning to give him a sly grin as he adds, “i wasn’t removed, so i can view the stories all i want.”

“you’re a jerk, you know that?” satoru grunts, crossing his arms and pouting, “i’m having the worst heartbreak of my life, and you—”

“who’s fault is it that you’re dumped?”

satoru deflates. 

okay, so he supposedly hasn’t been the best boyfriend. it’s not that satoru isn’t helplessly committed to you—he’s so sickeningly obsessed with you, it’s actually a bit unhealthy. suguru says so, at least. but satoru is…well, satoru, and he doesn’t always seem to take things as seriously as most people would hope. 

evidently, that includes your relationship—though, he does insist on disagreeing on that. according to you, he doesn’t take you on dates often enough, and sometimes he flirts back with random strangers. that’s not true—he’s simply a bit of a tease and enjoys it when you’re jealous, but he doesn’t flirt back. that’s outrageous. you’ve even claimed he’s mean about it and makes a joke out of it all—satoru would never be mean on purpose; he only teases because the banter is always endearing. 

but, unfortunately, you don’t seem to see it the way he does, and now he’s woefully single and cold and alone in bed. no cuddles, no goodnight kisses, and no head scratches. 

life is so cruel sometimes. 

“suguru,” he says in distress, “i’m serious. someone’s trying to hack my burner—who could it be?”

“hmm, i don’t know…maybe the one and only person who would notice the account in the first place?”

“but why try and log in if the password is unknown?”

suguru looks at satoru like he’s stupid—apparently, he is because he’s not putting two and two together. 

“maybe because sending a verification code shows the last four digits of the registered phone number? you’ve probably been caught, you idiot.”

satoru pales at that—he didn’t think about that. it slipped his mind completely. fuck, he should’ve used a burner email instead. he stares down at his phone numbly—yeah, he thinks, he’s screwed. 

———

after two days of continuous log in attempts into satoru’s burner account—it’s only just to spook him extra—you finally decide to confront him. 

we need to talk. is all you send him. 

the three bubbles appear on his end multiple times before disappearing—you and shoko get a good cackle out of that and laugh at him for a bit before he finally answers. 

miss me already? knew it ;)

wow. what a dickhead. 

so, because you can be equally as much of a prick, you send him a screenshot of his phone number on the log in page followed by a message that says: no. it’s so you can explain this. 

the three dots show up again for a few minutes before he finally responds with: okay. you caught me. when do you wanna meet?

well, that was easy. satoru is the type to not go down without a fight no matter how cornered he is—he’s stubborn and annoying like that. you turn to shoko for help.

“meet him now,” shoko crosses her arms, “don’t give him time to come up with some ridiculous excuse.”

“what excuse could he possibly come up with?” you snort, “that he was possessed and the evil spirit in his mind made him stalk his ex like a loser?”

“true,” she concedes, taking a sip from her energy drink—seriously, how many of these does this girl drink in a day? “i just want to know what happens,” she shrugs, “so do it now.”

of course, as on brand as ever, shoko is merely in it for the drama. you roll your eyes before sighing and nodding. 

“okay,” you huff. 

meet me at my place. now.

on my way, he sends back almost instantly. 

“he’s probably just excited to see you,” shoko snorts, “like the loser he is.”

“you’re probably right,” you purse your lips in exasperation. in all your time knowing him, you’ve definitely realized that satoru is definitely…well, a case. 

———

“hey,” shoko whispers to suguru through the phone, walking out your door so you can prepare to confront satoru. “did you know satoru’s been stalking—”

“—on a burner account? yeah, i know.”

okay, she frowns to herself, that was no fun at all. suguru is already aware of the drama. but that’s no matter—surely, he can’t possibly already know that satoru has been invited over to be scolded. 

“yeah, well,” she says smugly, “did you know he’s actually on his way over to—”

“—get yelled at? yeah, i’m aware. he called me panicked. what a fucking loser.”

“okay, well since you’re up to speed,” shoko grumbles bitterly, rolling her eyes. she was supposed to be the knight in shining armor with the juicy updates—but evidently, satoru is pathetic enough to already cry to suguru about his dilemma. “wanna meet up and get sushi nearby? i bet they’ll get back together in twenty minutes.”

“i bet ten. loser pays for the food?”

“you’ve got yourself a deal.”

———

satoru sits on your couch in shame, bouncing his leg nervously as you sit on the opposite end with your arms crossed and brow raised. 

it’s quiet. he doesn’t have the guts to say anything, waiting for you to break the silence. maybe you’re not that mad.

“so,” you start, “it’s nice to finally meet you, user273582838.”

he rubs his neck awkwardly, chuckling through his nerves as he mumbles, “oh, hey there! it’s a small world, huh?”

“satoru.”

yeah, never mind. you seem pretty mad. 

“okay, look,” he begins, “you can’t blame me. you dumped me, your sweet, loving, and unsuspecting boyfriend out of nowhere! i was heartbroken and shattered—and then you didn’t even give me a chance to work it out! i was not in the right headspace to make wise decisions so…so this is basically not my fault.”

that doesn’t seem to help his case—in fact, it only makes it worse. 

“so it’s my fault?”

“wha—no!” he says quickly, “no, definitely not.”

you sigh, rubbing your forehead in defeat as you mumble, “satoru, we are broken up for a reason. you can’t overstep and—”

“it’s a pretty stupid reason,” he grumbles under his breath, crossing his arms and frowning. you glare at him from the side as you scoff in disbelief. 

“of course,” you chuckle dryly, “of course you would say that. nothing is ever serious enough to you—”

“it’s pretty fucking serious to me,” he spits, shooting you a look that tells you he’s just as shocked as you, “that’s obviously why i’m the one who’s still not moved on as easily as you. how seriously did you really take it?”

“that’s not fair,” you grit, “you made it abundantly clear you didn’t care enough, so why should i—”

“i fucking cared a shit ton,” he says incredulously, “that’s bullshit, and you know it—”

“don’t curse at me, satoru—”

“well, don’t accuse me of not caring when i clearly—”

“oh, yeah cause you cared so much when you were laughing with that waitress as she hit on you,” you seethe, throwing a pillow from your couch at him. he can catch it easily—you know this for sure, but he lets it hit him out of what you’re sure is at least a little consideration to your feelings. 

“i wasn’t laughing because i enjoyed it,” he crinkles his brows as if you’ve said the most ridiculous thing ever, “it was just funny because she was trying so hard. and you looked all cute when you got mad.”

“what kind of boyfriend enjoys watching his girlfriend get mad—”

“the kind of boyfriend who thinks his girlfriend is adorable when she’s mad—”

“yeah, well your idea of a date is going to the mall with shoko and suguru. what kind of date is that—”

“okay, i was a bit clueless sometimes, but you could’ve said something instead of just dumping me like i was some random guy in your dm’s—”

“you need to grow the fuck up, satoru—”

“now look at who's cursing!”

it’s silent—both you and him have your arms crossed and lips curled into scowls as you both glare at each other. you’re stubbornly convinced satoru doesn’t care as much as you do, and he’s firmly committed to the idea that you’re twisting him into some douche who doesn’t give two shits. 

it’s quiet like that for a bit before he deflates and slumps against the couch, rubbing his face as he groans. 

“look,” he starts, “i’m sorry. i never meant to make it seem like i enjoy attention from other girls, and i didn’t realize you wanted more dates. i’d have done things differently if you told me how you felt.”

he sounds sincere. and he’s looking at you with those eyes of his—god, those stupid little eyes that are so wide and blue and deep and full of love. even after that whole argument, satoru is clearly as painfully in love as ever. 

you sigh before playing with a loose thread on your sweatpants. 

“i…guess i could’ve talked it out first. i probably shouldn’t have skipped straight to breaking up,” you mutter, not meeting his eyes. 

satoru stares glumly at you from the corner of his eyes before he adds bitterly, “you don’t seem to miss me. not even a little.”

“toru,” you pinch your nose, “of course i miss you. i was not gonna be mopey on instagram, though—”

“doesn’t seem like it,” he huffs. he’s a bit hurt—you can tell because he’s not meeting your eyes, and he’s not got that playful little upward curl of his lips. 

you’re a bit weak, you realize—but you suppose you always have been for satoru, because you’re shuffling to his end of the couch and poking his cheek gently. 

“i miss you tons, y’know,” you murmur—you smile a little at his pout before adding, “i want more dates this time around. and stop letting girls get away with being shameless flirts.”

he finally meets your eyes—it’s like a child on christmas, the way his face lights up and his lips curl into an excited grin.

“you mean i get to be your boyfriend again?”

it’s cute—the way he asks to be your boyfriend and not if you’ll be his girlfriend. maybe you’ve been a bit unfair, maybe satoru has always cared deeply in his dumb little clueless way of his own. 

“fine,” you pretend to roll your eyes. he looks hopelessly excited as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his side, tucking you under his chin as he rests his cheek on your head. 

“you should really talk to me more,” he murmurs, “i’m…things fly over my head sometimes. i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry too,” you admit, “i’ll talk to you—but you better listen to me if i do. don’t turn it into jokes.”

“i never turn things into jokes,” he grumbles petulantly, huffing to the side as you shoot him an unimpressed raise of your brow. “does this mean i can follow you again?”

“yes,” you snort.

“and you’ll follow back, right?”

“yes, satoru,” you sigh, shaking your head in amusement. he’s already back to being a handful—but you can admit you might have missed it just a bit. “but for the love of god, please delete that burner.”

“fine,” he pouts, tugging you closer. 

you giggle, he grins, and then you’re kissing—and everything feels as it should be. 

———

“they’re back together,” shoko says in disbelief, staring at your text. suguru groans, pausing mid bite as he rubs over his forehead in defeat. 

of course, you and satoru just have to make up in exactly fifteen minutes. not ten. not twenty. exactly fifteen. 

how considerate of you both. 

“are you kidding?” suguru grumbles, “so neither of us win.”

“guess not,” she says sourly, rolling her eyes. 

woefully, they both agree to split the check. 

suguru and shoko are so me and my friend every time our other friend argues with her boyfriend we deadass be making bets over when they make up and loser has to pay for boba LMAO

#teepods.writings #drabbles. #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff

[howarddevotoeater]

"I will drug you and fuck you on the Permafrost" this is a warm sentiment. It's a sweet endearing sentiment due to everything that came before it. That's the fucking point

#I don't understand why certain people insist on isolating the song from the rest of the album #and then analyzing it like it's some pointless indulgent rape fantasy #it's a cohesive work the album is a cohesive work #The Thin Air/Back to Nature/Believe I Understand/Permafrost #even the b side track listing should give you some fucking idea #that it's meant to be listened to together #and so much of this is because people don't care to analyze his lyrics and the drugging and fucking is the most direct thing he says #but it's the CONTRAST that makes it so brilliant #it's so direct against what hasn't been. but it's still clearly a picture of difficult circumstance #and it's that context. the context of the circumstance you've been placed into listening to the album. #that makes the song and that line so brilliant #I love this album so fucking much it's a GENIUS piece of work

[glitterdustcyclops]

no but in regards to that last post, the "might as well" principle for managing adhd:

i am terrible at remembering to clean my bathroom, it is definitely one of those Wall of Awful things i build up in my head until it feels impossible and i never do it

but a few weeks ago my mom had left a washcloth on my bathroom counter because she thought it would be helpful for me to use whenever i (eventually) got around to cleaning my bathroom. so of course that stupid wash cloth sat on that counter for days, but and the next time i went to wash my hands in the sink i saw the cloth there and was like "oh i might as well wipe it down now so the water spots don't add up" and you know what happened?

every time i went to wash my hands/use the sink after i was done i gave it a quick wipe down, because the cloth was just there so, might as well

and you know what happened after that?

it's been a month and for like, the first time in my life, my bathroom counter is clean. all of the time. with almost no effort on my part. because of one simple change i am able to keep it constantly wiped down, which means the mess never builds up to Impossible Levels

and now that the sink is constantly clean i feel a little bit more motivation to keep the other parts of the bathroom clean too, and overall my quality of life is just a tiny bit better

#shut up chocolate #adhd #fellow brains i encourage you to take some time whenever you can to notice these small things #forget about doing things the right way #do them the way that works for you #however that looks #i bought a special lil hook for my counter cloth and now it hangs out on the cabinet door so it hides when i dont need it #but the hooks stick out over the door so it reminds me theyre there #its brilliant i feel like a fucking genius

[orkbutch]

Rambling about Astarion bc im bored at work. I like Astarion because I think he is a genius take on The Evil RPG Companion, and is an especially great take on The Fixable Bad Guy. I don't think hes evil, but I do think Astarion is a genuinely bad person at the beginning, and I think Astarion is only drawn away from being a bad person - and experiences a great redemption arc - via active intervention from others. Astarion would not redeem himself without guidance; he is absolutely bent toward self destruction and evil at the beginning of the story.

I think comparing him with Shadowheart is what drew me to that conclusion. If you are nice to Shadowheart, as in you talk to her and respect her boundaries and do stuff she generally agrees with, she will choose to free Nightsong all on her own. You don't need to roll to convince her at all, or romance her or even push back on her Shar worship that much. You just leave it up to her, and she chooses that path. (Side note, what brilliant writing.)

Astarion is not like that at all. Even if you were tight as fuck he would not choose the good option, with no input, in Act 2. Astarion, like all the companions, needs help and connection to reach healthy actualization, but I think its great, resonant writing that Astarion needs the most active intervention of all. Because he's had his autonomy so completely taken away from him, he simply doesn't know how to use it anymore. He doesn't know how to connect with other people anymore. He's someone that's learned to enjoy cruelty, to resent the pleasure of others, and to be entirely selfish for survival. It makes sense that he must be dragged back into being capable of trust. He needs to be forced to be part of a community again; caring about things; allowing for vulnerability and optimism.

And like. How fucking smart is it to have THIS guy in THIS game. Because of the tadpole and the existential threat they're up against, he is actually forced to work with you. This kind of character is so hard to do in most RPGs because its like... why wouldn't he just betray you all and leave? Why would he stick with you? The tadpole clears all of that up. Astarion must stick with you or hes lost and dead. Astarion knows that you and the other companions are collectively stronger than him, so he can't betray you. He is forced to rely on you by default.

This is also what makes him SUCH a good version of the "you can fix him" romance; you are almost never the direct target of Astarion's bastardry because he can't fuck with you. The problem with Fix Him's is that usually they are a threat to the romantic lead, and fixing him requires enduring, soothing and forgiving the worst of his badness as some kind of test of loyalty, hopefully proving to him that being bad isn't necessary (toxic shit). But Astarion... can't do that. He is afraid to actually fuck you over because you are directly tied to his survival, and because you quickly show yourself to be more capable than him. He cannot have real power over you. (Until he's ascended, then he becomes the absolute worst version of the fix-it.)

I do think the trade off is that Astarion not directing his bastardry at you makes it easier to Ignore that Astarion is A Bad Guy, but I think that'd happen even if he was more of an asshole to you, so who cares. I think he's got the best written Redeemable Evil RPG Companion arch I've seen honestly. I love that he's so fun while being so tragic, whether redeemed or not.

#Astarion #bg3

[cemeterything]

not sure if you’ve answered before, but what is your favorite video essay?

i have a collection

Control, Anatomy and the Legacy of the Haunted House by Jacob Geller (self explanatory but even after watching all his other video essays i still find this one the most compelling to return to over and over again. kind of like a haunted house you can never truly escape. i love the way that he blends media analysis and like. cultural and sociological history and discourses in general.)

We Need to Talk About Game of Thrones I Guess and The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes by Lindsay Ellis (just... really good and hysterically funny critical analysis of how badly you can fuck up a story by not understanding its themes, worth a watch even if you've never seen a single episode of game of thrones in your life)

MsScribe: The Harry Potter Fandom's Greatest Con Artist by Eldena Doubleca5t (a brilliant deep dive into the msscribe incident which provides historical context for everything that happened and is also extremely funny; the tarot major arcana chapter break formatting is fucking genius)

Born Sexy Yesterday by Pop Culture Detective (had a massive impact on me and made me think more critically about media - in a good way!)

All of Overly Sarcastic Productions' Trope Talk videos are also very enjoyable and not too long

[i-cant-sing]

Thinking about that tiktok about the girl being all sad about her parents dying one day and stuff, and I'm just thinking about Yandere President Overhaul AU, the toddler triplets are just sitting around with reader (who's heavily pregnant and snoring on the couch, a little drooling too) and Tomura suddenly realised that you could die- be it by pregnancy or talking to other people- ANYTHING could kill you.

And now Tomura is about 2 seconds away from having a full blown meltdown, and Dabi and Himiko are just trying to calm him down (and give your poor self a break and not wake upto 3 kids shrieking and crying).

Himiko: can you like- not freak out? Mom's not going to die-

Tomura, snot and tears: maybe not now! B-but who knows when?! Maybe- maybe it's today- or tomorrow- or when we're asleep! What are we gonna do w-without her?!

Dabi, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest: stop being such a baby, Tomu. If mom dies, we'll just- go with her.

Tomura, stops sniffling: what?

Himiko: dabi... that's a brilliant idea! Oh my gosh, we can use my knifes!

Dabi: of course its a brilliant idea, I'm the oldest. I'm smart like that. *pats Tomuras head* see? I told you we have nothing to worry about.

Tomura, wiping his tears away and nodding: you're right. Wait, what about dad?

Dabi: we are not inviting him. He's not coming with us, he hogs mom all the time!

Tomura, eyes twinkling: Dabi, you're a genius.

And the kids all just gather around their poor innocent mom, who's just content when she wakes upto her 3 menaces sleeping away in her arms. Meanwhile, Kai (who's been listening on to the triplets convo because ofc he has the whole place bugged.) is just thinking in his office... "what the fuck? The kids are just gonna kill themselves when Y/n's not around anymore? What- how- why didn't I think of that first? Also, why didn't Himiko stand up for me? Won't she invite me along when they all go? Is she still mad at me for not getting her a pet octopus last week? What was I supposed to do when her mom said no?!"

#yandere president kai #yandere president overhaul #yandere kai chisaki #yandere overhaul #yandere bnha #bnha headcanons #yandere mha #bnha imagines #yandere dabi #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura shigaraki #yandere tomura #yandere himiko #yandere himiko toga #yandere toga