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dual-domination · 2 years

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I'm curious for the Extras you promised for the Guardian UndercoverPolice/CriminalBar!AU (Idk how you named that AU), but while you don't post them, I'll disturb you again: Da Qing doesn't want to go home. He has a problem with Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei doing *things*. And he'll turn his problems into the whole Department's problems. Good lucky writing shit with the fat cat!

~~A perverted report~~

End of work. It was almost dinner time and everyone was preparing to leave the office. Everyone but the black cat, which jumped into the table, sitting there, curling his tail around his paws. Da Qing didn't want to go home.

Lin Jing: What’s wrong with you?

Da Qing: Everyday is a torture.

Zhu Hong: What are you talking about?

Da Qing: Everyday they find a new way to torture me.

Guo Changcheng: How could it be? Can it be bad to live with Professor Shen…

Da Qing: Humans mating is disgusting.

At that declaration everyone joined around the table, around the cat.

Lin Jing: More than technically, they are not humans…

Da Qing: Works in the same way.

Chu Shuzhi: Wait, you don’t want to go home because they fuck?

Da Qing: It’s what I said. They. Fuck. Every. Day.

Zhu Hong: How does Chief Zhao manage to sit?...

Da Qing: Obvious.

Zhu Hong: This is not obvious.

Wang Zheng: Da Qing, could you specify this? Is for researching purposes… *Wang Zhang was bringing a small notebook in her ghostly hands.*

Da Qing: Specify what?

Zhu Hong: How does Chief Zhao still can sit if they fuck everyday?

Da Qing: You’re poor at imagination. *The cat rolled his eyes.* They switch.

Guo Changcheng: They do what?

Lin Jing: Switch, xiao Guo, means that sometimes the top is on the bottom and the bottom is on the top.

Da Qing: Disgusting. They can’t shut the fuck up. No. They just CAN’T. Why so noisy and loud? My cat ears are sensitive.

Wang Zheng: Loud?

Da Qing: Usually only who’s in the bottom is loud like that, annoyingly loud, the neighborhood must listen to everything…

Wang Zheng: So they switch and the bottom is always loud… *Wang Zheng was taking notes.*

Lin Jing: Can’t you just go to sleep in another room?

Da Qing: But I do sleep in another room. Do you think I’m crazy to sleep in the same room as them? NEVER. But does this work? NO. They’re loud and I can hear their dirty talking from wherever I am.

Zhu Hong: I can’t imagine the Ghost Slayer in a dirty talk.

Chu Shuzhi: Neither I. My mind refuses.

Da Qing: Oh, you have no idea. He’s the most perverted there.

Wang Zheng: And what about Chief Zhao?

Da Qing: The most demanding. The shit I have to hear every night is killing me. I need a break. I can’t hear all that “oh, please, more, like that, you’re so…” I refuse to repeat.

Lin Jing: “You’re so WHAT?” You can’t gossip by the half!

Da Qing: I’m not gossiping, I’m complaining.

Chu Shuzhi: Sounds the same to me. So finish the sentence. *Chu pointed the finger to the cat as a menace, Da Qing couldn’t care less.*

Da Qing: No, that’s too much, shouldn’t hornyness have a limit?! My well-being is the limit!

Wang Zheng: If you don’t sleep in the same room, you don’t see anything… how sad… I mean…

Da Qing: Who said I don’t see anything? If they kept their hornyness in their bedroom, I could think about forgiving them, but NO, sometimes they start things on the couch and even in the kitchen! Once they didn't even see me sleeping in the middle of the cushions and started their thing, I woke up scared just to face them naked there! It’s absurd!

Zhu Hong: Did you see them naked? I mean, obviously because you live with them, but… together?

Da Qing: It's not like they don’t take baths.

Wang Zheng: Together?

Da Qing: That shit of a master I have says that why showering alone if he has a wife? Despite I don’t know if someone could be only a wife or only a husband…

Wang Zheng: Maybe it is a matter of social posture.

Guo Changcheng: Which social posture? *Xiao Guo had personal interest in that point.*

Wang Zheng: The way they act in public and share private duties.

Lin Jing: Professor Shen is clearly the wife in public…

Da Qing: Yeah, I got it now, it seems that he is the wife in those private duties as well… but not in bed.

Chu Shuzhi: And yet, you’re not going to finish that sentence?

Da Qing lost a bit more of his almost nonexistent patience.

Da Qing: What’s the fun thing about being “big”? Does size matter that much?

Zhu Hong: Wait, who says about how big who is?!

Da Qing: Both. I never paid attention to check if they match, but the way they talk about this, it seems to be the case. I won’t investigate, I don’t have the guts.

Wang Zheng: Matching sizes… *Wang Zheng kept taking notes.*

Da Qing: What is this “researching purposes” you said? This is fucking weird!

Zhu Hong: It’s girls’ business.

Da Qing: Which girls’ business?

Lin Jing: They mean: fanfiction.

Guo Changcheng: Do you write fanfiction about our department heads?!!

Zhu Hong: It’s a good hobby, Wang Zheng goes with the romantic part but is unable to write the smut. That's where I take part, I go with the smut.

Guo Changcheng: What’s a smut?

Chu Shuzhi: Porn. It’s the porn. Explicit sex scenes.

Lin Jing: Do you write smut fics with our official ship and don’t share the link with your friends?! *Lin Jing sounded the most offended he could, and yet, sounded so fake.*

Zhu Hong: I never knew you were into gay porn…

Lin Jing: It’s not gay if they’re not humans…

Zhu Hong: It’s gay if they’re male and fuck each other. But if you want the link, I’m sending my and Wang Zheng’s shared account in Archive of Our Own right now to your e-mail. *Zhu Hong started working from her cellphone.* Yours and Lao Chu and…

Chu Shuzhi: Don’t you dare to send this to Changcheng!!

Zhu Hong: Too late. Da Qing, you got the link too.

Da Qing: Why would I want the fiction if I can’t even get rid of the live action??!! You’re all SO DISGUSTING! I’m damned!

Wang Zheng: Live action… *Wang Zheng was clearly dreaming awake.*

Zhu Hong: Da Qing has everything right in his paws and wastes it… Unless…

Da Qing: Unless what?

Zhu Hong: Say your price in fish, we’re willing to pay for your investigation and the detailed report. *The woman hit the table with both hands, as she was giving a very serious mission to the cat. Behind her, Wang Zheng agreed with a nod.*

Da Qing: No fish can make me look at that…

Lin Jing: For the sake of our girls’ business, I’ll put a bonus in fried fish if you take the mission.

Da Qing: This is getting interesting…

Wang Zheng: A little more detail and I’m ordering an extra box of fish for dinner right now. *With the phone in hands.*

Da Qing: Who would know everyone in this Department is a pervert…

Guo Changcheng: I’m not. I’m only an innocent reader trying to understand the concept of smut… *While the discussion was going on, xiao Guo had opened the link in his email in the moment he received it and was very focused on his screen.*

Chu Shuzhi: You already know it very well, drop this shit, I can’t believe you’re reading!! *An infuriating Chu tried to take off Guo’s cellphone, but failed when Guo held the device and turned his back to Chu, getting hugged instead of intercepted.*

Lin Jing: He already knows WHAT?!

Zhu Hong: Lin Jing, you couldn’t be that blind. Do you really believe that Lao Chu doesn’t want xiao Guo to read our ship in a smut fic because he’s too innocent to this?

Sang Zan: He is… jealous. *The librarian showed up right behind Wang Zheng.*

Lin Jing: Sang Zan, were you here all the time?

Sang Zan: Supporting girls.

At that very moment, Zhao Yunlan's door opened, the chief coming outside, Shen Wei on his heels as usual.

Zhao Yunlan: Eh, everyone is still here? I didn't give any extra work, you guys can just go home.

Da Qing: I'm not going anywhere.

Zhao Yunlan: Why, fat cat?

Wang Zheng: Deputy Chief, if you want to go home, I can send that fish box to your house instead of ordering it to be delivered here…

Zhao Yunlan: Why this?

Lin Jing: We were thinking about ordering some dinner before going home, maybe.

Zhao Yunlan: That explains why the fat cat wants to stay…

Guo Changcheng: What about you, Chief Zhao, Professor Shen?

Shen Wei: We're going home this time, we still have some things to take care of.

Zhao Yunlan: We have what…?

Shen Wei: "..." *Shen Wei kept his usual smile, but Zhao could read his eyes. And those eyes said wild things.*

Zhao Yunlan: Oh, okay, home then.

The couple said goodbye to their team and left the office without any prolongation.

Zhu Hong: So… are you taking the mission or not?

Da Qing: If I don't throw up a hairball during the "investigation"... believe me, my price is high, even in fish. You saw them, they’re going to do unspeakable things…

Zhu Hong: But we need those things very well spoken and described in the mission report.

Da Qing: You will regret yourself by letting me put my price… if I don’t regret myself first for accepting nonsense missions from perverted humans… or whatever creatures you guys are…

…

One week later, the whole Department received an email notification for a new fic posted in Zhu Hong and Wang Zheng’s account.

Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei walked out of Zhao's office only to find the entire team completely focused on computers and cell phones, not even a breath was heard in the always noisy office. When everyone noticed the presence of the two and turned to look at them, they had the impression that something was not right. Some of them were blushing, others were trying not to laugh. Definitely something wasn't right.

Zhao was going to ask why everyone looked weird, but Shen Wei stopped him with a slight shake of his head.

…

Later that day, everyone joined around Da Qing again.

Zhu Hong: You haven’t asked about your payment yet, what’s wrong?

Da Qing: We should know… investigating the Ghost Slayer has consequences.

Lin Jing: Did he find you?!

Da Qing: Of course, even with my feline methods…

Wang Zheng: So… how did you manage to finish the mission and do that long and detailed report?

Da Qing: Guess what? You girls have a very special reader… he told me to give you the best report I could and he wouldn’t say a word to that shit master of mine in exchange.

Chu Shuzhi: Wait, what? He’s a reader of the girls' fics?! Professor Shen, the Ghost Slayer, REALLY?!

Da Qing: I warned you all, he’s the most perverted there… but has anyone ever listened to my feline wisdom?

Zhu Hong: Wang Zheng… we better put twice the effort into the next chapter and on.

Wang Zheng: Finally I have my most exciting mission!

Da Qing: You got your disgusting stuff and I got no fish at all…

In his seat, a very worried Chu Shuzhi kept checking the girls’ AO3 account. He had a suspicion that he knew the other couple they had started to write about…

Chu Shuzhi: Hey, fat cat, careful with who you investigate, the fish can’t be the only thing you’re going to lose.

…

((Hey, this one was fun! Thank you! I love writing shit kjsjksjksjk And the Bar!AU fic will have two Extras if anyone send me more requests for that))

#weilan #guardian fanfic #guardian #zhenhun #zhen hun #zhen hun fanfic #da qing #zhao yunlan #shen wei #zhu hong #wang zheng #lin jing #chu shuzhi #guo changcheng #sang zan #special investigations unit #crack fic #hyde dual domination #chuguo

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accio-victuuri · 14 days

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bits shared by rufeng about xiao zhan @ yuguyao shoot when she visited + stories from friends:

1. He started holding a small black fan in April and blowing it all the time.

2. When filming Shiying’s torture scene, he went to the director’s house to watch and ask if the movements will look like dancing (because no post-production effects have been added yet)

3. 520 : invited the crew to eat Deluxe ice cream. When the filming is completed, the whole group will be given a Tasogare Sakura coffee gift box, and also invited the crew to drink bubble tea.

4. He specifically asked the crew to help him find a reliable fitness center. Personal trainers don’t dare to go to the gym to exercise, so they do it secretly. Find a place to exercise;

5. The director and producer called Zanzan Zhan Ge and the co-stars call him big brother ( da-ge )

6. When filming, the character needs to be "held up" and there are quite a lot of little expressions and movements while holding a small fan in the gap. For example, when stretching, he will raise his arms to the left and right , swinging like seaweed, it still has the shadow of the time when he filmed Aling.

7. Director Zheng of Ah Ling went to visit the set. During the chat, he jokingly asked him who was more fierce, Director Zheng or Director Jiang (Yu Gu Yao). Zan Zan said that Director Zheng was fiercer.

8. When rehearsing, he still said "Mou Ti Yi" to the director in Cantonese, and he would move his lips in a mumbling manner. He would still make a few onomatopoeias while speaking the lines and then sing along.

9. When drinking water, he still took a big sip with a puffy face and swallowed it slowly.

10. After teaching Zhu Yan the wind control technique, Shi Ying walked up the steps with an umbrella. The drone flew over very close to his head. He relied on the umbrella to block him and couldn't take a picture of him. He also made a "woo~" sound in his mouth to cheer.

11. You can smell his fragrance at a close distance~not strong, it's a sweet fragrance, and it doesn't smell like perfume, but more like a little physical powder (could it be the fragrance of makeup powder?). The skin is very good! The eyelashes are not as long as I imagined.

12. He got a bamboo pole prop and started playing with it, just like when he was playing with his brother (yibo) in the A-Ling era, imitating the movements of a Japanese samurai swinging a sword.

13. When Director Zheng of The Untamed visited the set and chatted, he jokingly asked XZ if he thought the show would be popular when he was filming The Untamed. XZ replied with an embarrassed smile: Whether it would be popular or not is a mystery.

14. Director Jiang admired XZ very much and said that he was definitely not a top-tier star (meaning that many people have a prejudice that the term top-tier star means that it is an idol with only traffic). He praised him for being serious and having his own ideas, and for taking the initiative to discuss with the director. Later, when XZ was chatting with the producer, he asked the director if he had any suggestions for my performance, and if so, he must tell me more. The producer then relayed the director's evaluation of XZ, and XZ said, "Please tell the director for me, I can do better."

15. When Hun Dun forced Zhu Yan to jump into a hole, Shi Ying needed to smile evilly, and XZ exaggeratedly shook his shoulders and laughed “hiahia” when walking around.

16. It is said that 11 trackers were found under XZ’s car (not during the YGY period). During the YGY period, he was followed by SS in the middle of the night, and the police were called to arrest them. There was another time when seven proxy photographers were caught at once.

source

to those who is not familiar with rufeng, she works in the industry and was part of CQL crew. feel free to not believe the bits shared.

#xiao zhan #bjyx #yizhan #accio victuuri translation #yuguyao #omg the trackers on his car that’s so freakin scary my god

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