toxicparentrants

[toxicparentrants]

[toxicparentrants]

Navigating a relationship with your abusive parent after becoming an adult is hard. I was no contact, then low contact, now we are a little bit more in contact. It’s really hard to transition through different levels of contact. I wanna tell myself it’s okay no matter what, but she can’t even admit she did anything wrong much less abusive. She says I remember things differently or that they didn’t happen at all. I have to either make hard boundaries/cut her off/low contact relationships or be okay with the fact that she will never apologize or even admit anything was wrong. It’s really hard to navigate and figure it out. To anyone who’s navigating a relationship with their abusive parent as an adult, I see you. I feel alone like I’m the only one living this experience, but I know I can’t be alone.

#toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #emotional abuse #mental abuse #trauma #mental illness #abuse survivor #actuallyabused #domestic abuse #abusive mom #abusive parent #life after abuse

[toxicparentrants]

i'm not sure what to say. one of the last things my mother told me before getting disowned was "i swear i'll get better for you." (context: i had to tell her she got drunk and hit me last night.) i'm currently moving into my dad's and i've never felt so free, so..... good. i'm doing much better at school, and stuff, i wanted to uh, say: things can get better. things can get better if you try, if you muster up the courage to fight back against whatever ails you, dear reader.

with the tender love our parents never gave us -

vanta :3

I’m so glad you’re getting into a better place. I hope it continues to get better for you and you heal. 🖤 wishing you the bestest future and healing.

#child abuse #violence #tw drinking #tw alcohol #tw domestic abuse #tw abuse #tw hitting #healing positivity #survivor positivity #positivity #mental health #it gets better

[toxicparentrants]

[toxicparentrants]

EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO (2022) dir. Yoo In Shik

[toxicparentrants]

This is it

[toxicparentrants]

[toxicparentrants]

Anger will eat you alive. Don’t let it.

#anger #toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #trauma #actuallyabused #abused #abuse #emotional abuse #mental abuse #mental illness #abuse survivor #survivor

[toxicparentrants]

My mother blocked the doorway when she was in the middle of a session of makeing me feel worthless and I got so scared that I jumped out of a 4 meter high window onto sharp gravel and I got really bad cuts and she didn't care and 6 years later I still have some scars.

I’m so sorry you had to experience this. My mom wouldn’t care unless people were looking. She’d snatch us hard in public or slap us and if we rubbed where it hurt she’d lose her mind over it. You aren’t alone. I hope you’re in a better place now.

#rant #vent #anon vent #tw abuse #toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #emotional abuse #mental abuse #trauma #mental illness #abuse survivor #actuallyabused #anon #physical abuse #abusive mom #abusive parent #tw #tw violence

[toxicparentrants]

Healing is not linear. We say this a lot but actually experiencing it is hard. My anxiety has gotten so much better after I left my toxic home and working on it for years. Recently a chain of very stressful events has made it worse than it has been in a while. I haven’t been coping very well. Now I’m trying to be kind to myself and keep pushing on. It’s hard but I’m trying to remember that this is not going backwards even if it feels like it. It’s part of recovery and healing.

#toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #trauma #actuallyabused #abuse survivor #mental illness #recovery #healing #healing is hard #healing is not linear #getting better

[toxicparentrants]

Hey I've just found your blog and it has helped me to know that I am not alone, that being abused by your own parents is still abuse. I still live with my mom (I'm 26) and she still manipulates me and then gaslights me, she makes me feel so guilty for being ungrateful, because she pays for my meds and psychiatrist (and obviously food and light, etc)

She wants me to love her the way she wants as if I were still a child, as if there wasn't any abuse, but I don't want to, maybe I'm still mad for all the shit I had to pass through during childhood, and I feel bad for feeling that way

I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. I’ve seen it in my inbox multiple times and never knew what to say. When I moved out I was no contact, but now that I’m low contact at this point in my life trying to navigate a relationship with her, I am back with a better response. My mom can’t or won’t acknowledge anything she did was bad in my childhood and constantly tries to say I remember wrong. You definitely should not feel bad for feeling that way. It’s so hard to go through it and then be expected to act normal about it or like nothing was wrong. Or to be expected to love someone who abused you for all that time as if you had a great childhood. That’s not realistic or right. It is so so difficult to have a relationship with them when they can admit they were wrong (which is so rare genuinely), but when they just want you to ignore everything that happened or deny it is especially difficult. I hope you find a balance or let yourself feel what you need to feel. You aren’t bad for not wanting to love her like that.

#toxic parents #child abuse #relationship with abusive parents as an adult #aaaa it’s not a tag but it’s hard af #abused #mental health #healing is hard #healing from trauma

[toxicparentrants]

I come from toxic parents and so does my husband. The best thing about seeing each other's parents is afterward, when we're alone, and one will say to the other, "Why did your parents do that? That was a lie/rude/insane/etc..." and to me it's the best confirmation that no, I'm really not insane. It's also what's helped me remember many things from my life I've forgotten about. Just by having my reality and experiences confirmed that yes, they are happening or did happen, it wasn't all my imagination. The worst part is going through seeing either set. More his that mine because I get sooo pissed off when I hear or see how they treat my husband. And because I'm used to mine which has made me not really love myself, so it's neither here nor there to me. But his end up making me relive/remember some traumatic moments that I never realized were traumatic and completely forgot about as they repeat themselves while I watch. So it's a very double edged sword. But god that confirmation is soo good every time.

Anyway, hope you find someone who can confirm time and time again you were never imagining anything too, it really helps <3

I’m so glad you have found someone who can validate your experiences! My fiancé has seen my abusive parent in action and has heard my stories so can confirm and validate me, which is a huge help to me. Sending love and good vibes your way. 🖤

#anon #abuse #child abuse #good things #validation

[toxicparentrants]

My mom records me now whenever i get upset and whenever she starts an argument.

She would go from yelling and screaming to me being visibly upset, to her pressing record and as soon as it begins to record she acts completely calm as i'm a crying mess and clearly mad/upset, and all i can do is say that i do not consent to being recorded over and over.

Which if you do not know what goes on at home, the video makes me look bad because she's calm and i'm crying.

She says she plans to use this to show to others. I really want to move out badly.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This is incredibly manipulative and is a very common behavior of abusers (the part where they act normal but want you to se crazy). Many abusers will want to make you seem crazy and them normal so if anyone hears about the abuse they can deny it. I’m not sure where you live but your country may have certain laws about recordings against consent, especially if it’s in a private residence to where if they share the video you could take legal action. That is not legal advice and I am not a lawyer, but depending on where you live maybe worth looking into or asking someone who knows more than I do. I hope you get to move out soon or already have.

#anon #abuse #abusive mother #abuse mention #abuse description #tw #abusive parents #emotional abuse #mental abuse

[toxicparentrants]

I am 18 now, and I still go back to being 15-16 and when I used to say that my parents had become worse during the covid because of stress, everyone of my friends would say "you are exaggerating". It was around that time when I started self harming for a long time. My friends would see them and say either nothing or something like " I could never do anything like that. Yoh are brave enough to do that"

If my parents have become better post covid, do they even count as abusive anymore, even if they were worse pre covid and worst during covid?

If they were ever abusive at all them becoming “better” doesn’t erase the abuse. It also doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive now. Their behavior now doesn’t invalidate their previous behavior or your previous experiences. Also, they could still be abusive now even if they seem better.

#toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #emotional abuse #mental abuse #trauma #mental illness #covid #actuallyabused #abuse survivor #anon

[toxicparentrants]

I can't tell if my parents are abusive or just a combination of generational trauma and transphobia or just toxic.

Things that have happened in the last week:

Talked shit about the other parent when they're not here and said "don't tell them I said that"

Given me a shit tone of shit because my rooms not clean bc I have severe UNTREATED anxiety and depression. (That looking back started developing in year 4 at the latest)

Kept poking and touching me when I didn't want to be touched and said "don't kick me, you can't kick your mother" after I used my foot to gently fend if the poking.

Said transphobic things to me whilst being completely supportive of my other trans* friends

Unsolicited weight gain comments including the flowing exchange in the next dot point:

Me: asks is shirt is pulling across shoulders Mum: yes but that's just because you've gained weight (not at all factoring in that the shirt was slightly tight before and I just grew again)

Said I was lucky that they were not as strict as other parents after I made a sarcastic remark once

Getting mad they had to repeat a thing they said bc I didn't fully hear it the first time yet are always asking me to repeat myself because they don't hear me properly the first time)

And many more things like this

They have also never hit me or verbally abused me but I'm not entirely sure on the no verbal abuse part cause of the remarks listed above.

Even just the first point alone they shouldn’t be doing. An adult should not unload adult stuff onto their children and make them their therapist and ask them to keep secrets from the other parent in that manner. The other things you listed are also not normal especially the weight gain comments. Body shaming your children is wrong, especially commenting on their weight. My mom did that for years and it is so so damaging. I hope you’re doing better since it’s been a minute since you’ve submitted this. 🖤 (black heart emoji)

#anon #ask #toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #verbal abuse #body shaming

[toxicparentrants]

woah woah hey you've been scrolling for a little while now

you are so loved dude I hope you know that

[toxicparentrants]

Growth and healing can hurt but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad.

#toxic parents #child abuse #mental health #emotional abuse #mental abuse #trauma #mental illness #abuse survivor #actuallyabused #healing #healing from abuse #healing from trauma #hurt #healing journey #growth