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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

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An episode/fic of Clone Wars I wish we'd gotten

(Inspired by a post made by @angelsaxis )

TW: Sexual assault/harassment, in-universe racism? (against clones:( )

I don't know the reason so don’t ask

But Rex, Ahsoka, and Anakin have to go to some fancy ass gala on Coruscant

(Maybe to celebrate a victory? The Chancellor is trying to encourage hubris in Anakin, but that almost backfires when he INSISTS that his Padawan and Captain are invited as well because they were Instrumental in said victory).

Ahsoka and Rex reeeeaaaaally don’t wanna go, Anakin makes them because he doesn’t understand why, until afterwards.

The actual party should only be the first 5 minutes or so of the episode, all we see is Anakin having a great time, regaling an attentive audience with many (exaggerated) stories of his heroics

We see shots of Ahsoka and Rex both looking very uncomfortable and unhappy at the edge of the crowd, maybe involved in some uncomfy looking conversations, always keeping an eye on each other and trying not to get too separated. They make each other feel safe.

Maybe it's on the journey back to their temporary accommodation? A hotel or something? I dunno

Maybe it's not until they get back to said accommodation

Rex and Ahsoka are still close together (even though it's only the 3 of them now) looking drained and unhappy, Anakin sat opposite them telling them how much everyone loved him, how it was so nice to be appreciated and get to relax for once

"So, how was it for you guys? I told you it wouldn't be so bad, though I barely saw you the whole night. Off telling stories of your own?"

Rex looks at the floor and we hear a muttered "It went about the same as I'd expected actually"

Ahsoka manages to look Anakin in the eye but only briefly before gazing out the window "You should have let us stay here Master Skywalker."

(That's odd in itself, they've been together for a while now, and Ahsoka NEVER calls him Master Skywalker. Occasionally 'Master' on it's own, but never his full title, its faaaar too formal for the brother/sister relationship they have at this point. Its normally just Skyguy.)

Anakin’s face falls, I can imagine him actually getting kinda annoyed at this point. Because they never usually get opportunities like this?? They got to dress up and be people instead of soldiers? They were being celebrated?? Why aren't they being grateful for this honour?

"Fine then. Why was it so terrible?? I'm dying to know Snips, Rex."

I don’t know who goes first. Maybe Rex? Because he had been watching what had been happening to Ahsoka all night and he did as much as could to protect her but he was Just a Clone. He figures she probably doesn't wanna talk about it to her Master, and he feels the need to protect her now that he's actually in a position to do so (even though she also spent the whole night trying to protect him).

So half the episode is focused on Rex. Telling Anakin what had happened to him over the course of the party, how no one respected Clones. He can't count the number of times he heard the phrase "just a clone" over the last few hours, he lost count after the first 30 minutes.

We see flashbacks of people asking insensitive questions, asking if clones feel pain, if he felt any emotion at all, being referred to as "It", and even "cannon fodder" by a particularly cruel senator.

(We see Ahsoka start to get angry in his place, about to yell at the senators and representatives, but Rex holds her back subtly, and the flashback fades before we hear her say anything. It's important to show the audience that Ahsoka was there, and defending him, but not the point of the story.)

We see him have to smile through conversations as he explains to Anakin that "I couldn't have retaliated, I couldn't Do Anything. They already saw me as Just A Clone, so they weren't exactly gonna ascribe any importance to what I had to say. And if I retaliated? All it would have done is confirm every bad thing they thought about me and my brothers, and then the next clone that comes along gets treated even worse than me."

He's clenching his fists and he hasn't looked up since he first started talking. At some point over the (very one sided, as soon as he noticed how genuinely distressed Rex looked, Anakin resigned himself to listening and not interrupting) conversation, Ahsoka had put a hand on his shoulder

Maybe Anakin makes a mental note, Rex is usually NOT a touchy person, but if he's allowing (and leaning into) physical comfort?? He must be pretty distressed.

(Before ya’ll get excited. This is NOT Ahsoka/Rex. They're just bros)

Maybe another couple of flashbacks, someone "jokingly" saying they don't know why Rex is being honoured, the mission only succeeded because he followed the orders of his Jedi, like he was meant to, he was just there to execute the vision of a higher lifeform, and had nothing to do with the actual victory.

At "higher lifeform" Ahsoka clenches her teeth, and the hand on Rex's shoulder tightens

At "higher lifeform" Anakin shouts, the first time he's made a noise since Rex first started talking:

"What? That's so ridiculous!! These guys know that you save my ass more than I save yours right?? And that you come up with at least half of the tactics we use??"

"Respectfully sir, they don't. And this is.... pretty normal actually. Like I said, the gala went exactly as I expected it to. The only people to really interact with the clones consistently are the Jedi. Pretty much everyone else thinks we're... things. Like droids."

Anakin looks very much defeated at this, slumping in his seat. He hadn't really thought about it before, the clones are a part of his life, they're his friends, they have names and favourite colours and opinions and ideas better than his sometimes (most of the time). The idea that the rest of the galaxy doesn't see them that way is... odd, and very much heartbreaking to him.

Rex goes on, he's thinking at this point that if he's gonna explain, he should explain fully

"One of them even..." he sighs. Clenches his hand. Coughs. Turns a little red, and looks away, even further from eye contact than he was before. "One of them quite forcefully requested I.... serviced him. "You're just a clone" he said. Apparently that means that's my duty or something. Especially since I don't feel anything, physically Or emotionally. Ahsoka saved me from that one."

(Maybe at that he and Ahsoka make brief eye contact, nodding at each other, Rex giving the hand on his shoulder a little pat, before she turns her head away again. Her hand remains.)

Anakin is fuckin Furious at this. He stands suddenly and starts pacing, he keeps going to say something and realise he doesn’t have the words. The Darth Vader theme plays briefly before he stops and sags. Sits back in his chair, looking at the floor,

He knows there's no point ranting or raving, Rex and Ahsoka don't need to hear what he thinks of it because they think the same, and he's starting to realise that it would be cruel to extend this part of the conversation any longer.

Quietly, "I'm sorry, Rex. I had no idea that not everyone sees you and your brothers the way I do. I'm really sorry."

Maybe that makes Rex smile a bit. He KNOWS he's friends with his general, but after such a shitty night, it's nice to be reminded

"It's alright sir. There's nothing you could've done about it anyway, nothing's gonna change the minds of that kind people. I know what me and my brothers do is important, and we know what we fight for."

Anakin seems to regain his anger at this a bit

"Yeah but Everyone Else should know as well!! It's their ungrateful asses that you're-"

Rex cuts him off with "I know sir, it's fine, really. Besides, it coulda been a lot worse."

Anakin sits back at this, it hadn't been said, it hadn't even been implied, to be honest Rex had been trying to keep the attention on him, but the "a lot worse" had reminded Anakin that Ahsoka has been very,,,, subdued through all of this. Her hand remains on Rex's shoulder, and she's obviously been listening, going by her small movements and barely-there facial expressions (she had witnessed all of this after all), but still, she stared out the window.

Rex notices that Anakin’s attention has shifted and

"It's late sir, let's just forget it and head to-"

"Snips?" Anakin interrupts him

She sighs, looks at Rex, nodding slightly. She knows he would've stood up to the general if she'd wanted him to, at the smallest shake of her head he would've demanded that it really was too late. That the two of them had an early briefing, that they needed to head to bed.

But she figures Rex has told his half. Now it's her turn. The next half of the episode is Ahsoka's explanation.

At her nod, Rex takes the hand that had been on his shoulder and holds it between his own, loosely, she could pull away anytime she wanted and it would look natural, but she had helped him through his explanation, it's time for him to help Ahsoka through hers. His turn to gaze out the window, paying attention, but not wanting the eye contact.

While Rex had been sorta hesitant, Ahsoka jumps right into it. She's angry but she's resigned, and she's been dealing with this practically her whole life (whenever she left the temple, anyway). If her master, who was practically her big brother at this point, didn't understand, or brushed it off like so many others had, then he simply wasn't worth the respect she originally thought

(which was what she was scared of I suppose. That Anakin would be like everyone else.)

She holds her head up high and looks Anakin directly in the eyes, her face neutral, but hardened, hoping for the best, but expecting the norm:

"I'm a young woman master. Who is also a Jedi, who is also a commander in the Grand Republic Army. People don't like that."

At this we see flashbacks of conversations where Ahsoka gets spoken over, politicians who have never even touched a blaster, trying (and failing terribly, unknown to them) to explain battle tactics to her. Men calling her "sweetheart" and "girl", condescendingly asking about broken nails and makeup and clothes.

She tells the story of a particular representative asking what it was like to "watch the great Jedi at work, whilst she twiddled her tails in the background?"

At this Anakin is once again furious:

"The plan was your idea!! We would've been Screwed if you hadn't been right in the middle of it shouting orders!! You told them that right??"

She responds swiftly, her tone biting:

"And what do you think would've happened if I had? What exactly, Master, do you think I could've said in that moment, to change their minds? To alter a lifetime of thinking like that? They think I'm a child. They think I'm a weak little girl who's far too stupid to know how to put on my own clothes, let alone come up with complex battle tactics on the spot, in the middle of a firefight. There's no changing their minds"

Anakin clenched his teeth, he really has no response. What could she say? Nothing that wouldn't get her laughed at even more

"But it's fine. I'm used to being underestimated. I'm small and I'm young (I'm gonna say this is late in the series, Ahsoka is 17ish, still young, but not a child) and I'm a girl. Hell, YOU underestimated me when we first met."

(Anakin cringed slightly at that, he doesn't think about their first meeting often, but up until now he'd thought about it with fondness, now he thinks about how annoying it must have been for Ahsoka, to once again be underestimated by someone only a few years older than her.)

"It's fine. It's not like I'll ever meet these people on the battlefield. And if I do? I'll have them beat before they have even a second, to laugh at me."

At this she looks down, and her voice drops, likes she's talking to herself, rather than her master. He hears it anyway.

Next time she speaks, her voice raises in volume once again, back to normal, but she keeps her eyes on the floor. Her feet shuffle slightly, and her hand visibly tightens in Rex's, searching for comfort (he provides without a split second of hesitation, squeezing in return)

This worries Anakin, Ahsoka, whilst very physically affectionate, was NOT one to seek comfort, or burden others with her problems. So he sits and listens, quietly thinking that the worst is yet to come (he's right).

"That wasn't even the worst part. I'm used to it. I mean I'm used to the rest as well but it's just so much worse in a crowded party and everyone had had a few drinks so it was even worse and I just wasn't-"

"Snips?" His voice is quiet, she was breathing deeply, and her hand gripped Rex's increasingly tight. Her eyes were widening, and she looked a little panicked.

At his quiet reminder that he was there, and everything was calm and quiet and OK, she relaxed. She took a deep breath and relaxed her hand in Rex's (though didn't let go) but she still doesn't look up

"Like I said before, I'm a young woman. Wearing the only dress I have, at a crowded party full of drunk politicians who always get what they want. It was a little... handsy... in there. People think they can take what they want. I didn't drink anything the whole night because I was scared to go to the washroom alone, it wasn't like Rex could come with me. I almost overheated because I was scared to go out into the balcony alone. We tried to find you at one point but..."

She hesitates at this. Rex is visibly angry, eyes furrowed, glaring out the window, but not Once, does he release, or tighten, his hold on Ahsoka’s hand.

(I just want this to be really emotional ya’ll. I need my bros being bros and protecting each other, but also the reality of 20ish year old Anakin, the chosen boy who was also buds with the Chancellor himself, to not understand (but desperately Want to) Rex's and Ahsoka’s troubles).

"But?" Anakin prompts. He is unimaginably furious at this point, not even trying to hide it on his face, but being gentle with his words and actions, he's gotten a lot better at controlling himself and he KNOWS that Ahsoka is not the one who deserves to meet the other end of his anger right now

"The group of guys you were with, telling some story about man eating plants to. They had already mentioned that they were gonna try find me after the party for a... "little fun" they said. And they had been the... touchiest... of all. I didn't wanna encourage them or anything so, we went to the other side of the room and just waited it out for the rest of the night."

I can imagine her voice sort of trailing off at the end there. Maybe in the beginning montage we see Anakin telling said story to said group of guys? But this time we see it further zoomed out? Anakin and the group just in the background, with Ahsoka in front looking kinda scared but mostly uncomfortable? And Rex by her her side looking angry? Before they turn and walk in the opposite direction.

That's the end of her story, her recount of the marvellous party they'd just got home from, and she sort of deflates as she realises what she's just talked about. It's normal for her, but it's not something she was ever planning on having a conversations about, least of all with her Jedi Master.

When Anakin realises she's finished, his hand sparks, and he looks down in surprise, to realise that he's clenched it so hard that he's damaged the wiring without noticing. It's fine for now, but he'll need to get it checked out at some point in the next couple of days.

But overall, that does nothing to calm him down. He's in a range of anger that he's never been before. So powerful that even Rex can feel it, despite him not having a lick of force sensitivity.

(The next day, Anakin receives a transmission from an off-world Obi-Wan, asking if he's alright, because he'd felt something strong, and bad, and he's sure he's just being paranoid but wanted to check in, just in case)

So Anakin is quiet, and still, but breathing deeply and clenching his hands and jaw, and how dare they? How dare people talk to his captain like that and how dare they underestimate his Padawan and how Dare they lay a hand on her? How DARE they talk to him about what a smart and capable pupil he had, moments after treating her like an object to be played with? How DARE they??

He forces out a breathy "Ahsoka I am... so sorry. I had no idea it was that bad. I mean Padme has mentioned a few things before but you're just a kid, I mean you're a Commander, I guess I thought everyone took that at face value and gave you the respect you deserved. I'm so sorry that I was wrong about that."

He's more sad, than angry at this point, looking up at Ahsoka. She slowly raises her eyes to his, a small smile on her face, all three have tears in their eyes. For Ahsoka and Rex, it's from a slow build up of stress and fear and annoyance and offense and resignation, over the last few hours. For Anakin, it's the sudden realization that people he cares very deeply for, are being treated this terribly, right in front of him, and he hadn't noticed it, and it had been happening so long, that they were resigned to it.

(No one notices the slip up when Anakin had said "Padme", or if they did, no one mentioned it.)

Maybe the episode ends there? Maybe it ends with a flash forward to Anakin scaring the shit out of those guys (with the Vader theme playing of course)? Maybe it ends with them all going to bed? Maybe they all fall asleep on the same sofa? Ahsoka and Rex kinda still need a comforting hand, and Anakin never wants to leave them alone again.

But we know, through flashforwards, or implications in future episodes, that Anakin talks to Padme about moving for legislation that protects the rights of the Clones. And that every chance he gets, Anakin forcefully talks about his confidence in his Padawan, how She regularly outsmarts him and saves his life, about how she is a wonderful learner, fighter, and tactician, and the army would be in bits without her (and his Clone Captain).

I dunno man. This is super heavy. But I just really wanna read something where Anakin, young, humanoid (is that what they call it in star wars? I've no clue), chosen one, friends-with-the-actual-godman-Chancellor, Anakin, realises that life is VERY different for his Padawan and the clones. Yeah, when it comes to BIG things like the war, and the council, and his marriage, he experiences a lot of shit, and has big problems. But in the small everyday life he has between the war, he's got it very easy, in a way that the other two don't. I also think it could add to the reason he fell to the dark side. No one can be stupid and judgemental to people HE cares about if HE is in charge, building a new empire in exactly the way he wants it to be.

I'm shitty at writing so if anyone wants to like,,,, turn this into an actual fic, credit and tag me lol

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grimtrespasser · 3 years

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Okay so,, I kinda,,,, came up with a whole au in which Anakin and Padmé are t4t, cause I was mad at Star Wars again, dicking around in my friend’s DMs, and I joked they’d have a way better relationship if they were and it kinda,,, spiraled skdks. It just dredged up a lot of follow up questions about how that’d affect the continuity and now it’s my self indulgent Anakin/Padmé/Rex fixit. So uhhh… some notes I have about the t4t au!

• obviously, first off, Padmé is a trans woman and Anakin is a trans man

• Luke and Ahsoka are also trans in this au because I said so

• When Luke officially comes out as trans Padmé jokes that he gets it from Rex’s side of the family much to Anakin’s delight and Rex’s complete confusion

• I’m under no circumstances killing Fives in this au that shit hurt me, so in this one he’s frazzled by the discovery of Palpatine but Rex and Anakin actually listen when he calls them to that warehouse and when authorities arrive they claim he was shot and fell over the edge into the center of Coruscant when in reality they call in some favors to smuggle him away safely

• Because they discover the chips through Fives so early on, they’re able to start covertly de-chipping some of the clones (with a lil jedi assistance à la Anakin and Shaak Ti), they obviously don’t manage to remove the chips of all the clones but they get a fair chunk saving themselves a lOt of pain come Order 66

• Mmmm big fan of Rex’s stiff awkward phase when he first starts attempting non-professional relationships, he’s a bit better by the time he starts crushing on Anakin and even more so when he falls for Padmé but bOy howdy does it take him awhile to just fuckin relax around them

• Rex, consistently getting crushes on badass dudes: I think I’m gay

Padmé: Hello, commander :)

Rex: hahaha bi panic: activate

• Legit he’s so awkward and uncomfortable in casual contexts I love him for that

• So I think a few critical changes are what push Anakin away from the dark side in this au:

1) When Fives uncovers the conspiracy, though by this point Anakin is friends with Palpatine and has a hard time reconciling what Fives saw and the existence of the chips with who he’s come to know Palpatine as

2) His decent fucking support system because holy fUck how do you have a whole found family network and yet they stILL fail to actually support you the whole damn way?? Obi-Wan doesn’t tell him his emotionality is dark side stuff! The council doesn’t just tell him to repress shit! His relationship with Padmé gets actual fuckin development and is actually healthy in this au!! FffUck

3) The twins, cause duh. They obviously happen at the very end of the Clone Wars so Anakin getting pregnant is what leads up to his final loss of trust in Palpatine and his decision to stick up for himself and his family against what the council might potentially say.

• Ahsoka still leaves the Jedi Order in this au cause I think it’s just too pivotal an aspect of her character, and at first Anakin is angry and betrayed but eventually he comes to accept it was the best option for her and doesn’t resent her for her choice. Especially after finding out about the twins and realizing his family won’t be readily accepted by the Order even though both are incredibly important to him

• Ahsoka is the one who tells him it’s twins, I just think it’d be hilarious if Kix’s initial tests really early on didn’t reveal that so when Anakin got Obi-Wan and Ahsoka together to break the news Ahsoka sensed both the kids through the living force and just went “Oh my gosh you’re having twins!” Right before Anakin could say he was pregnant, and his brain just breaks cause like…. Twins?? Oh god, twins????

• In turn Padmé almost chokes on her tea and Rex nearly fuckin faints when Anakin has to tell them it’s twins, like they had jUst come to terms with one baby and now they know it’s gonna be two and they are going thrOugh it

• Really want Anakin to just,,, go off and get really anti-government at some point. Like the more he becomes aware of his garbage circumstances at the Order and working for the Republic, the more he starts to recognize his childhood experiences in the clones’ situation, and the angrier he gets at the systems in power that facilitated all this injustice. He’s just never been afforded the chance at being free, so once he starts asking questions, he starts seeing what’s behind the curtain real fuckin quick. Except this time he’s got the support system to channel that anger into productivity rather than letting it consume him.

• I’m a big fan of the Anakin Doesn’t Turn But The Empire Still Rises AUs so this one follows a similar continuity. After all, Anakin was just a particularly close pawn, Palpatine still had a million other ways to ensure he came out on top, so when everything breaks bad Anakin escapes with Padmé, the twins, and his battalion. And because they were alerted to Palpatine’s plans by Fives they had an extended escape plan with a handful of other battalions, including the 212th and the Wolf Pack. A lot of them help build up the rebellion or become involved with it later down the line, once the movement starts to gain more traction.

Will I do anything with this au? Who knows! Buts it’s certainly fun for me to think about and I’m always coming up with random new details, so we’ll just see where my spite and curiosity takes me with this one. At the very least I’ve already got some doodles I might post later

#star wars #t4t au #clone wars #toxic gatekeeper Star Wars fans do nOT touch this post #this is my dumb lil sandbox and I get to choose the transification beam coordinates #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #rex clone wars #fives clone wars #luke skywalker #leia organa #ashoka tano #palpatine

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starculler · 3 years

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Whumptober 2021: Day 5

Word Count: 6042 || Read on Ao3

Tags/Warnings: Star Wars, Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine Ahsoka Tano, Rex, Mace Windu, Violence, Implied Torture, Fake Death, loss of limb (fingers)

Another one in by the skin of my teeth lol.

Anakin nodded at the pair of clones, red and white clad troopers from the Coruscant Guard, stationed in front of the outermost doors to the Chancellor’s suite as he strode past and inside to the office they’d always met in. The grand room, and the hall before it, looked as it always had during any of his visits: haloed in the sun’s light and filled with any number of priceless artifacts and fine, if simply constructed, furniture. And all of it painted a bright, rich red from floor to ceiling that gave way to the raised, warm gray flooring nearer the windows. He stopped before that raised section, hands fisted and trembling beneath the larger sleeves of his dark brown robe, and looked up, past the stairs and chairs and desk at its very center to the Chancellor himself, smiling placidly down at him.

“Anakin, my dear boy,” the Chancellor greeted, pleased, and it was all Anakin could do not to scream. “I wasn’t expecting you, but please come. Take a seat. I always have time for a friend.”

“My apologies, Chancellor,” he said neutrally. He offered a shallow bow, jaw clenched as he ground his teeth. It hurt to breathe, a vice wrapped around his chest and squeezing his lungs so painfully tight he thought he might suffocate on the spot. “We just got back from a” — horrible nightmare, he thought and only a hitch in his breath to give it away —“campaign in the Outer Rim. I thought the resupply was also a good excuse to give my Padawan and I some time to rest planetside. I hope I haven’t interrupted anything important.”

“Not at all.” Pal— The Chancellor, shook his head, smile still in place, if a little tighter when he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk and said, again: “Please. Sit. How is your padawan doing? Last we spoke, you sounded quite frustrated. Understandable, of course,” he said, amiable and sympathetic. “Teenagers, especially her age, can be difficult, though I have no doubts that you’re doing your best.”

Anakin walked up the four steps to the platform and not an inch closer even as he offered a tight smile of his own. He tasted sour bile in the back of his mouth to hear the man so much as mention Ahsoka, even if he’d kept her name out of his mouth. Still, he bobbed his head in acknowledgment of the question and answered.

“She’s doing good, Your Excellency. I think we’ve come to understand each other a little better since the last time I was able to speak with you.”

“Oh, how wonderful,” said the Chancellor, sounding, to Anakin’s ears, just a fraction displeased at the news.

“Yes,” he agreed. “It is.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

They’d lost so many men.

Ahsoka hadn’t been able to purge that haunting sight from her since they’d hobbled back to the Resolute, victorious but silent. The bodies of men she’d slowly grown closer to lived on the backs of her eyelids, there to see every time she closed her eyes. All of them left behind like so much trash, unburied and with no time to mourn them as they hurried on to the next planet. The next battlefield. The next slaughter.

She shuddered, huddled up in a deserted corner of the ship — so deep in that she’d lost track of where exactly she’d walked — as far from everyone else as she’d been able to manage. Misery clung to her, sticking and ugly, and she knew. She knew it was worse for the men who’d lost their brothers. Their friends. So she sat alone, the tears long-dried on her cheeks, not wanting to interrupt or take up space she didn’t deserve. They weren’t her brothers, but they’d been her men for almost a year and she cared. More than she probably should.

“Hey, Snips.”

She jerked, eyes wide, not having heard her master coming down the corridor. He smiled, a wan, withering thing. Nothing at all like the usual bluster and brightness he showed off in front of everyone. She said nothing as he sat, legs crossed and elbows resting on his knees, in front of her. He looked so tired. Stressed. He hadn’t been the neatest or most put-together looking Jedi she’d ever met, but he’d grown slowly worse since their last trip to Coruscant.

“Hey,” she said, voice duller than she’d meant it to be.

“How’re you holding up?” She considered the question. Considered lying, but…

“Not… not great.” Anakin hummed, but didn’t interrupt. She didn’t dare look at him as she spoke, not wanting to see how he felt about what she admitted. “I just— I don’t know—” She hooked her fingers into the thick, white fabric of her leggings and pulled her legs in closer. “I wanted to be a Jedi so bad.” She hated how she choked on the words, fresh tears welling in her eyes. “I still do, really. But. But there’s just so much—

“It’s awful,” she whispered and startled when an arm settled over her shoulder and pulled so she was pressed tight to her master’s side. Wrapped up in her roiling emotions as she’d been, she hadn’t even noticed him move. She sniffled, turning to hide her face in his dark tunic. “There’s so much death, master. So much pain. I feel it all the time and I. I don’t know how to—”

The words died in her throat, smothered by an awful sob half-muffled by her master’s warmth. He rubbed her shoulder as she cried, pulled in as close as either could physically manage.

“How do you do it, Master,” she croaked once she’d mostly calmed. “How do you not care so hard?” She felt him still next to her, almost a flinch. Before she could apologize, take the words and this moment back and flee to her room, he answered, his own voice low and soft. Gentle.

“You never stop, Snips. You just … learn. You put it aside when you’re needed, and work through it when you’re not.” He sighed. “I’m not— Well. You know I’m not always great with my emotions, not like Obi-Wan or some of the other Masters.” She nodded in the lull, waiting for him to gather himself. “But the worst of it, the parts that’d only hurt you or the men to see? I keep it locked in a little box with an old fashioned lock and key, stashed away until I have time to meditate or process or even just when I work on a ship or droid.

“Every time we come back from a campaign and I count how many we’ve lost, I feel it so hard I think I’ll never breathe again. Usually, I’ll rely on Obi-Wan if it’s bad enough and he knows he can lean on me if he needs it. You, my young Padawan, can come to me any time you need to,” he said, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Anytime. Any reason. Even if it’s just to sit quietly together.”

Ahsoka nodded, not feeling better but not quite as alone either.

“Can we meditate?” She asked, voice trembling and tiny.

“Of course,” he said. Neither of them moved, not just yet.

“Hey Skyguy?” Anakin hummed a response. “You can count on me too, if you want.”

He said nothing for a long moment, and she saw his other hand twitch from the corner of her eyes — a brief motion, there and done.

“I know,” he murmured, so quietly a human wouldn’t have heard him even though her montrals picked the words up easily. “I know.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Anakin sucked in a deep, bracing breath, willing himself to be still and patient for just a little longer despite how every second he stood there only fueled the pit of anger coiled tightly in his gut. It had been easier, on the Resolute — in space and among his men where he didn’t have to look at the face of a man who’d lied to him for as long as they’d known each other. A man he’d defended against criticism and let whisper in his ear. A man he’d let slowly poison him from the inside until the rot had settled deep in the core of him, a permanent fixture he looked upon with shame and regret. And anger.

“I’m afraid I haven’t come just to visit an old friend, though.” His voice, miraculously, didn’t so much as waver, the words flowing as smoothly from him as they never had.

The Chancellor’s eyes seemed to narrow for a moment — so quick he almost thought he’d misinterpreted it, a trick of the light and nothing more — before he spoke, his tone even and jovial. “And what can I do to help you then, Anakin? Or have you come as Knight Skywalker? On behalf of the Jedi, perhaps,” he said, not a question. Anakin shook his head in answer regardless.

“I’m not here on behalf of the Jedi, Chancellor, but I am here as a Knight of the Order though I act alone.” He swallowed and carefully, slowly, reached down to his belt where his lightsaber hung, singing to him so faintly at that moment that it could have been miles away. The Chancellor didn’t move, didn’t so much as twitch, as he pulled the cool, metal casing from its clip and held it, unlit, in the palm of his flesh hand.

“What have you come here for, Knight Skywalker?”

A chill seemed to settle in the air between them that set every nerve in Anakin’s body aflame, alive and electric through his limbs so that he felt even the faint, phantom pain in his prosthetic. He curled his mechanical fingers into a fist, clenching and unclenching them for a few tense seconds the way he sometimes did before battle, when he worried that very pain might get in the way and cost more of his men their lives. His shoulders strained with the tension creeping into him, and he struggled to keep let it go.

“Chancellor Palpatine, I accuse you of being a Sith Lord and traitor to the Republic.”

The Chancellor laughed like Anakin had told a particularly funny joke, and said: “My boy, I am an old man who has dedicated his life, and a decade already as Chancellor, to the betterment of the Republic. How could I possibly be a-a Sith?” He asked, just the right amount of incredulity saturating the question. “I fear, my boy, that you are tired — this war has taken its toll on us all, and with you needed so often on the front and so firmly in the thick of the worst of it. Well, it hurts, but I’m unsurprised to find even a young man as impressive as you, my friend, might be swayed by this cruel joke under the circumstances.”

“It isn’t a joke,” Anakin snarled, finally losing the firm grip he’d kept on his anger. “I saw you.” The man stilled, thin lips pressed together in a grim line as he sat back in his chair too peer at Anakin like he were a bug. “I saw you,” he said again, breathing heavily, almost panting. “In your office, your private office, just before the 501st shipped out last time. Talking to Dooku.” He spat the name like a curse, filthier than any other word in his vocabulary.

“My boy, whatever you thought you saw—”

“He called you Sidious. He called you Master.” He bared his teeth at the man who’d been his friend, white-knuckled grip on his saber’s hilt tightening almost painfully. “You’ve betrayed the Republic.

“I am the Republic!” Anakin staggered when The Chancellor’s eyes flashed, bright yellow instead of deep brown.

“You’re a traitor,” Anakin bellowed back, finally igniting his lightsaber at his side. “You’ll turn yourself in, or I’ll bring you in myself. It’s my duty as a Jedi,” he said, not at all the confident declaration he’d meant it to be.

“Just as it was your duty to — what was it again? Eschew attachments?” Anakin flinched, but grit his teeth, determined. “My boy, Anakin, please see reason.”

“Reason? What reason? You’re-you’re a Sith!” He widened his stance as the Chancellor finally stood up from behind the desk, leaning forward on his hands against its smooth surface. His gaze burned into Anakin’s, boring in with such intensity he feared the man saw right down to the deepest, most vulnerable parts of him no matter how hard Anakin might try to keep him out. “You were my friend,” he said, nearly a whisper and not at all what he’d meant to.

“I still am.” The Chancellor smiled, but Anakin felt none of the warmth from it that he used to. “I can help you, Anakin. I can help you keep your loved ones safe in these awful times. I can give you the power to keep them safe with your own two hands. Power the Jedi could only dream of.” He paused, eyes gleaming bright and greedy as he said: “I could give you the galaxy.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Rex watched his general putter about the camp, looking more a mess than usual. He seemed not unlike a droid, his every move mechanically rote as he went about his tasks and his gaze distant in that way Rex sometimes saw on shell shocked shinies. He pursed his lips, grip on his bucket tightening a fraction. Their last campaign had been rough: heavy losses and a victory won by the skin of their teeth. He’d seen how it had left the Commander, much as Ahsoka had tried to hide it, and the next one was gearing up to be just as bad or worse if the 212th were held up.

General Skywalker, however, had been worrying him since long before. He didn’t know how much his general thought he was fooling Rex — and it rankled that he might have if not for little moments like this — but he wouldn’t fool anyone if this went on much longer. He’d heard troopers talking, spotting Skywalker up at all hours of the night, amiable enough but also mumbling to himself when he thought no one would see. Rex had done his best to keep the worst of it under wraps: making up reasons for the general’s wandering, erasing the occasional unauthorized flight on his personal junker of a ship, filling in reports that skipped his notice or forging them altogether.

What he couldn’t hide, Rex waved away as a symptom of how busy Jedi generals were in general. Easy to do when the only ones to work consistently closely with them were the Commanders — and Rex, considering he filled the role for the 501st.

He’d considered telling Cody at the very least, if not General Kenobi himself, but he’d put it off. Every time he came across evidence that something was wrong, he’d brushed it off. At first with assurances that the general was just stressed. That he’d course correct on his own and all would go back to how it had been. When it worsened, Rex had asked his general directly, needing to know if whatever had happened would affect his performance — if it would put men’s lives in danger.

Anakin had looked him in the eyes that day and promised he had it handled.

Whatever “it” was.

Rex trusted his general with his life. With his brothers’ lives. So it hurt, a physical pain in his chest, to know his general didn’t trust him enough to let him help. For his general — his friend — he’d do anything, even if it got him decommissioned. Had already, to some extent.

“Captain,” a shiny said, prying his attention away from Skywalker and back to the bustle of setting up camp. “Commander Cody’s on the line for you.”

Rex nodded and shoved his bucket back on his head. He spared one last glance at his general before following the trooper back to the hastily put together command tent, wondering all the way there if this was a sign for him to speak up.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Anakin swallowed, mouth dry as the desert planet he’d been born on. The part of him that would always be nine and scared, then nineteen and mourning, found the offer compelling. Power to keep everyone safe: Padmé, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Rex and his men. To have the galaxy fall in line so wars like this one never came about again. To break the chains keeping sentients fettered, abused and terrified. To do what he wanted without the constraints the Jedi imposed upon him and all their members. It appealed so well to that not-insignificant part of him that hated his own fear and weakness and the uncertainty of the future.

It scared him, how enticing the offer was and how tempted he was to forsake everything he knew and everything he’d been taught in exchange for that promise. All that held him back was the single, nagging feeling itching at the back of his skull. He probed at it, poking at what lay below the desire and fear until he found th rest of him — the parts the darkness didn’t call to so strongly.

The parts of him molded by the people he loved, nurtured by what he’d been taught at the Jedi’s feet, and built on the foundations his Mom had laid down for him in his childhood. The parts that whispered to him to be cautious. To be vigilant. To remember that nothing so golden, so perfect, came without a cost.

What was the price to be paid for the Chancellor’s offer?

What would he lose in exchange?

Everything, that tiny part of him whispered.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Obi-Wan smiled at Ahsoka as she skipped back towards her and Anakin’s troops, all of them nearly finished with the necessary preparations needed to leave this Force-forsaken planet. He watched the troops mingle, chatting and catching up as much as they could. Even his commander had loosened up in the afermath of a hard-won battle, leaned against a crate of supplies as he spoke with Rex.

The only person he hadn’t been able to find in the organized chaos had been his former padawan.

Anakin seemed to have disappeared entirely, not a trace of him anywhere which seemed odd to him. He turned toward Rex and Cody, intent on asking where he might find the wayward knight, only to slow and then stop altogether when he caught the tail end of their conversation.

“—know. But it’s … something.” Rex frowned, hands balled into tight fists at his side. Cody sighed.

“If he’s breaking regs,” Cody said archly, but didn’t finish the thought. Rex, in Obi-Wan’s humble opinion, looked rather much like he wanted to punch the other man.

“I’m not turning him in,” Rex hissed, low enough that Obi-Wan had to strain to hear him. “The general’s just … he’s in a bad way right now and I don’t know how to kriffing help if he won’t let me.”

Obi-Wan pressed his lips into a thin line, drawing back before he heard Cody’s response. He hadn’t known Anakin had been doing poorly, though in what capacity he wasn’t yet sure. He’d hardly spoken to Anakin at all the last few months, busy as they’d both been. Still, if the captain was so worried, enough to bring it to Cody, then. Well.

He made a mental note to himself to check in on his former padawan. He knew the 501st were due for leave soon, a quick resupply over Coruscant that would give Anakin and Ahsoka both time to visit the Temple. Perhaps after, he’d make the call, or better yet: find some time to get their two battalions together outside of battle.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

He breathed out, a single slow, measured breath, and set his jaw. When he looked at the Chancellor — at Sidious — his choice had been made. Sidious scowled even before Anakin spoke, wrinkled and severe and not a hint at all of the man he had trusted.

“No.” He brought his saber up into Djem So’s opening stance. “I am a Jedi, and I’ll do what I must.”

“So it’s treason, then,” Sidious sneered, pulling a lightsaber of his own from his robes. Anakin felt the last dregs of his hope drain when the blade lit, its blood-red light casting Sidious’ face into eerie relief as the lights in the room grew suddenly dim.

Anakin nodded once, a short, sharp jerk of his head. He breathed in, taking a brief moment to steel himself as the room’s tension and chill grew bloated and oppressive. For a moment neither of them moved. Coruscant itself seemed to freeze, from every sentient on-planet to its very rotation in space. And then, all at once, life exploded back into action.

Sidious leaped out from behind his desk at the same time Anakin surged forward. Their lightsabers scraped each other mid-air, the barest, buzzing touch as he kept that ominous, red blade from slicing at his shoulder. He spun quickly on his heel to meet Sidious’ offensive attack from behind. Their sabers clashed, properly locked and spitting as each of them tried to over-power the other.

He threw the entirety of his weight into every attack, pressing forward and pushing Sidious back. But nothing landed. Anakin growled, moving faster. Pushing. Pressing. But nothing. Fucking. Landed. Sidious whirled, inelegant but effective. Power bolstered by experience and skill. Every slash blocked. Every thrust parried. Every move economical and calculated and a near perfect counter to Anakin’s own aggressive style.

“You have such potential,” Sidious crooned at him, their sabers locked once again, the energy buzzing and crackling loudly in Anakin’s ears. “You could be so much more than you are, my boy.”

Anakin dug his heels in the carpet and pushed, shoving as much of the Force as he could into it even as the effort left his gasping for breath. Gasping, but victorious when it at least shut the Sith up and sent him sailing across the room if not into the wall like he’d wanted. He grinned at Sidious’ responding glower and merely adjusted his grip on his lightsaber with a shrug. Taunting Dooku’s master as much as he dared.

“Join me, Anakin,” Sidious said, unmoving from where he’d landed and looking somehow unbothered behind the anger radiating from him. “Join me and cease this foolishness.”

“Never,” he hissed, and leaped forward with help from the Force.

They clashed. Separated. Clashed again. Neither gained ground, even as Anakin found himself tiring, slowly but surely. He winced when a glancing blow caught his arm, searing and slicing a neat, shallow line from elbow to shoulder. Anakin managed a nastier slash at the Sith’s legs, and nearly laughed when he caught Sidious’ ankle as he leaped and watched him stagger on the landing.

Fury, thick and startling and like nothing Anakin had felt before even on the front lines, oozed from Sidious then. Anakin, sweating and exhausted, stilled. Tense and suddenly nervous. Something slick and malicious wrapped around his throat, and before he’d even registered that it was the Force — Sidious using the Force — it squeezed, cinched closed and cutting off his air.

“I didn’t want it to come to this,” Sidious said, sincerity dripping like poison from his words. “I had a plan, you see. A place for you at my side, and. Well, it might be earlier than I’d hoped, but I’m nothing if not accommodating. Don’t you agree?”

“Shut.” Anakin gagged, the invisble vice squeezing ever tighter as the seconds ticked past. “Up.” He fumbled for the Force as dark spots dotted his vision, but felt it slip through his fingers like sand. “Sith.”

Sidious hummed, paced calmly closer to Anakin like they had all the time in the world. And maybe they did. Those were clone troopers out front, and Anakin had paid a slicer more than enough credits in his attempts to gather evidence against Sidious for at least the vague confirmation that they, specifically, could be controlled. He had no doubts, now, that Sidious, among those involved in this conspiracy, could and would do just that.

The Force squeezed a fraction harder — any more and his neck would snap — before easing, just enough for him to gasp, coughing and spluttering as fresh air returned to his burning lungs. He fell to his hands and knees, blinking back tears and the graying haze that had crept into his vision. He barely noticed when Sidious stopped in front of him and bent to pick his lightsaber up off the ground where he didn’t remember dropping it.

“What a tragedy,” Sidious said, laying a withered hand on Anakin’s head like a child needing comfort. He would have tried to bite the old man’s fingers off if he hadn’t still been struggling to catch his breath, just enough pressure still on his throat to keep him from fully recovering. “The disappearance of Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, The Hero with no Fear who tried so hard to defend the Republic’s beloved Chancellor from the Separatist assassin, Ventress. Who took off in pursuit when she fled, without backup despite the Chancellor’s pleas — always a hothead, that one.”

“Shut up,” Anakin croaked, pain straining his voice. The hand in his hair tightened, not painfully. Not yet. A warning to keep silent — a warning to be ignored as soon as he could fucking breath again.

“What a shame,” Sidious continued, “how the young man was caught unawares.”

Anakin’s stomach dropped, fear like ice crawling through his veins as the meaning behind Sidious’ monologue finally started to register. He moved and the pressure on his throat worsened in response. He shouldn’t have come. The thought hit him like a blaster bolt to the chest.

He shouldn’t have come. He should have told someone. Should have tried harder to gather evidence against the Chancellor, even though he’d lost sleep over it for months — trying and failing and trying again only to come up empty-handed every time. Sdious was smart and his plan had been in motion probably for longer than Anakin had been alive.

Even if they’d never believe him, he should have told someone.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

“Padmé.” Anakin said her name like it was the sun itself and he a man without its light all his life.

She smiled, held his face between the palms of her hands, and pulled him down into one of the softest, gentlest kisses they’d shared since the war had started. He practically melted against her, boneless if not quite relaxed. She pulled back first, brow furrowed and lips pursed as she studied his face. He hadn’t looked great the last time they’d talked over a holo, but now he looked worse.

The bags under his eyes were deep, dark smudges that looked like bruises in the dim light of her apartment. He looked drawn, paler than a man on the front lines more often than not should be, with dry, chapped lips and a gauntness to him that might have been as much a trick of the light as the early signs that he’d not been eating well. His hands trembled against her waist, a fine tremor she felt through the thin nightdress he’d caught her in. She hadn’t expected him to come by, not so late at night and certainly not looking half-dead.

“Anakin, what’s wrong? Should I call a healer?” she asked, smoothing a thumb over his lips, his cheek, under his eye. He shook his head, turning so he could kiss her palm. He ran so warm normally that it scared her to feel him so cold. Like death, she thought and it sent a foreboding thrill down her spine.

“I love you,” he murmured against her skin, his bright, blue eyes never leaving hers. She’d have found it romantic if not for how much it scared her just then.

“You’re scaring me, Anakin. Please. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“ ‘M sorry.” He lifted one hand told hold hers, the same one he’d kissed, and brushed his lips over her fingers. “I’m sorry,” he said again and Padmé thought she might cry from how wretched he sounded. “Don’t leave tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Don’t go to work. Stay here.” He didn’t blink. Didn’t move.

“Anakin, I can’t just— just skip. There’s an important bill we’re trying to pass and if I’m not there—” He squeezed her hand, not painfully but not gently either, and she snapped her mouth shut. “Anakin?” She moved to touch his face again, but he drew back. She gasped, a quiet, hurt noise pulled from her lips.

“Just tomorrow,” he said, sounding desperate. Scared. “Just tomorrow, please Angel. Please.” She swallowed, wide eyed and trembling now herself, but nodded.

“Alright. Alright, I promise, but only if you tell me what’s going on. Okay?” He hesitated, but acquiesced.

“After,” he said and she said nothing else before pulling him to bed by the hand.

He curled up beside her, pressed as close as physically possible with his head pressed to her breast as she kissed the top of his head and smoothed a hand through his unruly hair. She didn’t know how long they laid there, silent but awake before sleep claimed her. When she woke, he was gone and the place in her bed where he’d lain had gone cold. In his place were a note and a datastick.

I’m Sorry, the note read, written in his slanted, messy cursive. Padmé felt tears prick at her eyes, something thick and awful and nauseating curling in her stomach as she picked the datastick up and moved to plug it into the datapad she kept on her nightstand.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

He closed his eyes, let the pang of regret flow down and into him, then, finally, out. It came so suddenly easy, feeling what he needed before letting go, that he wanted to laugh. Wanted to cry. All his time as a Jedi he’d struggled, and he chose this moment to finally embrace — understand — what it was they’d been trying to teach him all along.

“Get to the point,” he said, trying to sound brave and not like he could fall apart at any second. The hand in his hair pulled, jerked his head up so he could look at those ugly, Sith eyes and Sidious’ grotesque grin. He’d spit if he could, but the Force tightened on his throat like Sidious had plucked the thought from his mind.

“The point,” the Sith hissed, “is that I will not waste the years I spent molding my perfect Apprentice.” Sidious crooned the word like it should mean more to Anakin. Like it shouldn’t make him sick to his stomach. “There is a place for you at my side, boy, whether you are there willingly or not.”

Sidious let him go, so suddenly he nearly fell on his face. Anakin blinked, confused as he pushed himself up, and caught the edge of that same, awful grin. Saw Sidious raise a hand, fingers splayed and pointing at him, and then nothing at all as he crackle of electricity and his own screaming filled the room.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Mace’s head throbbed, the same pounding pain that had lingered in his temples for months now. A shatterpoint, he knew, but any specific knowledge about it had remained firmly out of reach. Regardless of his headache — he’d had long years of practice managing it — he strolled into the Council’s Chambers, calm as a Jedi Master should be despite the urgency of the emergency meeting called. Problems, it seemed, just loved to pile up. First, an attack on the Chancellor in his own office the week before, then the disappearance of Knight Skywalker, and now whatever new event had cropped up.

He sighed, taking his seat among the mix of present Councilors. All of them, he was surprised to note, though most had called in via holo. Once he’d been seated, the room quieted and every eye turned to Master Yoda who’d called them together. The old troll’s face looked grim, his ears drooped as he all but hunched over his gimmer stick. Slick, icy dread slithered down Mace’s spine, knowing he wouldn’t like whatever the old Master had to say.

“Master Yoda?” Kenobi’s voice, mildly tinny over the holo, broke the silence when Master Yoda failed to speak up. The old Master seemed to wilt even further.

“Received a recording, we did, from Dooku.” Every Jedi in the room jerked, though none looked more than serenly alarmed at the news. “A datapad, he sent, early this morning. And another a gift.” Yoda’s voice wavered on the last word, just enough to be noticeable.

“May we see the device?” Plo Koon tipped his head to one side as he asked the question, a request made more for Yoda’s benefit than because any of them had any real need to see Dooku’s message for themselves.

Yoda shook his head and said: “With the investiators, it is. Work, they will, to see if a trick this is not. Deceiving us, Dooku may be.”

“Deceiving us?” Master Kolar leaned forward in his seat, a frown marring his features. Master Yoda nodded.

“Bring news, he does, of our missing knight.” Mace saw Kenobi jolt at the statement, wide-eyed. His fellow councilor had been devastated at the news of his former padawan’s disappearance. A few of the other Master’s spared Kenobi a sympathetic glance, before returning their attention to Master Yoda. “Claim, he does, that Knight Skywalker’s death his assassin, Ventress, is responsible for. Chased, he says she was, after thwarting an attempt on the Chancellor by young Skywalker she was.”

“Anakin,” Kenobi started, voice strangled. Mace frowned, rested his elbows on his knees, and steepled his fingers as he closed his eyes. “Anakin has fought Ventress many times, and come out unscathed before. To claim she killed him…” he trailed off.

“A gift, Dooku sent as well,” Yoda reminded.

The earlier chill in Mace’s spine solidified into a pit behind his stomach, a near physical weight as he said, low and pained: “Proof.”

The room was silent. Still. Their combined dread and anticipation thickened the air until it grew hard to breathe.

“Yes.”

Mace opened his eyes. He looked first to Obi-Wan, lips thinned but otherwise wearing a perfectly blank mask, and then to Master Yoda’s own grief-stricken face.

“His prosthetic and saber I have kept here to show you, but the rest. To the Healers for tests it has gone.”

“Healers?” Obi-Wan’s blank facade cracked. Mace was sure Obi-Wan’s face would have been pale as a sheet if not for the blue-tint of he holo-image projected onto his chair. Yoda said nothing for a long time, though Mace didn’t know if it was reluctance or grief that stalled him. “Master,” Obi-Wan whispered, and Mace felt sympathetic tears prick at his eyes for all the grief he could hear in that word alone. “Please.”

“Fingers,” Yoda said, grave and bland and disgusted. “Knight Skywalker’s, the Healers confirmed not long ago.”

Mace heard a few of the Masters’ gasp, and Obi-Wan’s own strangled, horrified noise, but Mace kept silent. Let his eyes slip closed once more, and bowed his head as a wave of bitter grief swept over him.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Anakin never woke for long, but when he did there were always two constants: pain and Sidious.

And hope. Always hope.

That Padmé had read what he’d left on the datastick — not enough but a start, and she’d always been so much smarter than him — and forgave him for the lie. For leaving.

Hope that Sidious would choke on his food and die, even if it meant Anakin rotted away in this cell.

Hope that the apologies he’d written to Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan made it to them, even if he hadn’t included half as much information in them as he had in his Angel’s.

And hope that maybe, one day, he might be saved. That Sidious’ attempt to deceive everyone would, at least this once, fail.

“How much longer will you remain disobedient, my Apprentice,” Sidious said as he slipped into the cell. Anakin closed his eyes for only a brief moment before turning a glare on his captor.

“Dunno,” he croaked, “how much longer ‘r you gonna live?”

Sidious hissed and repaid him with a blast of lightning in response.

Anakin screamed.

#whumptober2021 #no.5 #betrayal #star wars #anakin skywalker #sheev palpatine #fic #violence #implied torture #fake death #loss of limbs #my fanfic #the only limbs lost are fingers and it's only mentioned not shown

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dankmemes-of-dantooine · 3 years

Note

Would you feel comfortable writing Obikin or nah?

Or a crack fic like a potluck picnic at the Jedi Temple? 🧐

🧺

So this started out as a little thing and turned into a slow burn multiple chapter monstrosity. 😅😬this first bit is mostly angsty and fluffy but I promise I will update with the second (maybe third parts?) tonight and hopefully tomorrow. This became a slow burn thats torturing ME LOL. I like a lot of lead up. You’ll learn to love this about me. I hope.

Shoulder Your Burden (part one)

It had been a particularly rotten day, even for war.

The 501st and the 212th had been deployed together to a Separatist stronghold though, which meant Obi-Wan and Anakin would be commanding alongside one another.

The council typically tried to avoid situations like this, not only because in the tragic and unlikely event that both units were wiped out, they would lose some of their best men and potentially two of their best generals, but also because anyone that had spent more than fifteen minutes in a room together with Obi-Wan and Anakin was readily privy to the fact that they tended attract chaos and misadventures.

The fact remained, however, that they were two of the Republic’s cleverest, and had navigated themselves out of dozens of ostensibly no-win scenarios in the past, suffering only minor casualties.

Not to mention that this mission had required a degree of ace flying that not many in the galaxy were capable of, and the two men had years of that under their belts.

Due to a miscalculation, or bit of bad information from and informant, they had found themselves in a Separatist ambush today.

And due to an honest mistake and misjudgment on Anakin’s part, they had lost a lot of men. This settled heavy in Anakins stomach like duracrete. The guilt seeped into every fiber of his being. He’d been foolish and now men were dead.

He had thought that splitting the units and having Obi-Wan’s men ambush from behind and drive the droids into a narrow canyon so they could be picked off easily would be the best move. What their informant hadn’t told them, was that there were already droids waiting in the valley to ambush THEM, and what he had effectively done was corner his men and send them into a slaughter. Their plan had been completely reversed on them, and now the canyon was an abattoir reeking of death, and it was his fault.

The battlefield was permeated with the stench of blood and ozone, and spent blaster fire, and Anakin was steadily becoming overwhelmed. The guilt settled in his stomach along with the heavy stench of death suffered due to his mistakes overcame him. He leaned against a large boulder and wretched, becoming sick.

He wiped his mouth, jumping and weaving over the bodies of fallen clones and droids, trying his best to make it through the narrow canyon alive.

He was steadily being swarmed by battle droids when he saw the transport coming in for a landing at about 80 yards out.

Naturally, once again, Obi-Wan was bailing him out.

He picked up pace, jumping over debris and bodies, scanning for survivors.

He spotted a clone struggling to get out from under a piece of ruined machinery, a tank he thought.

He stopped, ducking to avoid blaster fire, and attempted to force push it off the soldier.

A bolt grazed his hand, flames of pain immediately licking his palm all the way up to his shoulder.

He let a frustrated growl of pain, concentration broken momentarily.

“Leave me, sir! There’s too many.”

Anakin shook his head stubbornly, still trying to move the debris.

“No! You’re making it out of here with me.”

The clone shook his head, gesturing to his ruined legs pinned beneath the hunk of metal.

“No sir, I can’t walk. It’s been a pleasure serving, General Skywalker.”

“No, Dozer,” Anakin grit out through the pain.

Anakin felt Obi-Wan’s force signature tugging at his.

He deflected a rain of blaster bolts with his saber, still not willing to give up on Dozer.

Just then, a droid lobbed a grenade that landed squarely between the two of them. Anakin reeled back instinctively, placing enough distance between him and the explosive to avoid being filled with shrapnel.

“Dozer!”

Anakin felt himself then being pulled backwards into the transport, along with the meager few clones that had managed to survive the attack.

“No!” He thrashed, trying to dive out of the transport back into the battlefield.

Stop! Anakin we have to go.

He wrenched his arm free of whoever had a hold of him, and watched helpless as the transport doors closed. He took an unsteady breath watching from the view port, bringing a shaking hand up to wipe the blood and sweat from his brow. He stayed there for a moment, trying to push the nauseous guilt from his stomach and the vertigo from his head. His ears rung.

He felt the familiar warm hum of his masters force presence before he felt the hand on his shoulder.

“We received bad information,” Obi-Wan began, immediately absolving Anakin from any responsibility or guilt before he’d even appealed for it. It made him mad.

Anakin shook his head, not looking at his master.

“Rex and Hardcase make it out?” He asked darkly, arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“Cody?”

“And Waxer, Boil, and Trapper. All accounted for.”

“At least some of them made it out,” he growled darkly, chewing the inside of his cheek,

“Where’s Ahsoka?”

“Medbay, but she’s fi-“

Anakin had already turned on his heel to stride towards Medical to check on his young padawan. She shouldn’t have even been on this mission, and because of him, she could’ve been killed. They could’ve all been killed.

He ignore the pain singing in his own hand, and pushed forward as he strode through the medbay doors that hissed open in front of him.

“Ahsoka?”

his voice was firmer than he intended, laced with the guilt and panic of having more casualties on his hands.

“Over here, Master,” the tired yet evergreenly cheerful voice of his student resounded from the far corner of the medbay where she was being worked on by a diligent medical droid.

“You’re hurt,” he said firmly, eyebrows knitting together as he sat next to her on the cot.

“I’m sorry,” he started, nodding to the injured hand the med droid was busy with.

“Just a couple of broken fingers, Master. I’ve had worse.”

His battle wearied padawan didn’t even acknowledge he blaster burns on her sides or the superficial cut above her brow. He cursed himself for setting a bad example and ignoring injury, and as he considered his, his own injuries thrummed warmly, reminding him he still needed to attend to his wounds.

“You’re staying at the temple until you’re healed,” he started, not meeting her eye until she issued a whine of protest.

“But Master-“

“Ahsoka,” he warned

She quieted, looking down at her wounds.

“And anyways,” he continued, “after today I imagine the whole 501st and 212th will be grounded for awhile. At least until we can heal, and figure out if we’ve got a bad informant or a turncoat on our hands. You need the rest anyways,” he said offering a dull smile, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Yes, Master,” she agreed, offering a similar weak smile.

Anakin stood and strode from the medbay, neglecting to mention his own injuries to the medical droid.

—————

Anakin found himself standing in front of the viewport, cradling his injured hand in his mechano-hand.

Since he had been foolish enough to neglect to seek attention from the med droids when they were on the Jedi Cruiser or the clone transport, he figured he would just grit through it and handle it himself when the city transport got them to the temple.

Anakin felt Obi-Wan tentatively approach to take a place next to him at the viewport. The two were quiet for a moment, content to merely be in one another’s presence. Their force bond hummed like a live wire between them. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan could feel how taut and raw his nerves were, and it made him squirm. He hated feeling weak and emotionally compromised.

“You’re injured,” Obi-Wan stated after a time.

“I’m alright,” Anakin grit through his teeth.

Obi-Wan drew nearer, half expecting Anakin to hiss at him like a feral Loth-cat.

“Let me see.”

“No.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, exasperated, already going for the med kit.

“I’m fine, Master.”

“Sit still,” Obi-Wan huffed, dragging the med kit out.

Pain pulsed through Anakin’s hand, making the ends of his fingertips sing with a dull throbbing each time his heartbeat roared in his chest. The gash in his palm was deep, but not enough to need stitches, he thought. It was ugly and singed around the edges, and it would scar.

Obi-Wan took his hand gingerly, and Anakin gasped at the contact.

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed in concern, guilt dancing darkly in his eyes as he brushed an unspoken apology against their force bond.

Anakin resisted, maintaining a tight clamp on his mental walls. His Master couldn’t know the gasp was simply in response to be handled so gently by him. Anakin had scarcely felt touch that wasn’t hand to hand combat or a rough grip on the shoulder from one of the clones in months. He was a man starved, and he ached.

“Sorry, dear one, I know-“

A sharp hiss through his teeth that was in response to his pain echoed through the ship as Obi-Wan started with cleaning and dressing the wound.

He would flick his eyes up to meet Anakin’s every so often, trying to gauge for pain, but Anakin was looking at the floor, the ceiling, out the viewports, anywhere but the deep empathetic pools of Obi-Wan’s eyes.

Obi-Wan worked diligently and delicately, putting concerted effort into causing the younger man as little pain as was possible when addressing a wound like this. It wasn’t as bad as either of them had originally feared. It would hurt for several days, but Anakin had had worse, and he figured he’d have forgotten he even hurt it within three or four weeks. It would scar, though.

He tapped his thigh, busying his mind with charts, timelines for healing, anything to keep his mind and eyes off of the way his masters eyes pierced into the very core of his being.

They were too deep, and too kind, and they made him feel like he was suffocating. He didn’t deserve the worry and care the man handled him with. It nearly made him angry. He absolutely couldn’t look at him now though, not with the way the concern and guilt and worry washed over him through their force bond. It made him feel safe, but it also made him feel small, like a child. He could handle himself. He wasn’t some clumsy youngling who needed all his little wounds dressed.

He tried to push back cheap reassurances, but Obi-Wan’s energy was so overpowering.

“I’m fine, Master,” he finally managed, his voice thankfully more steadfast and sturdy than he thought he would be able to manage.

“Something troubles you,” he posited softly, finishing work on bandaging his hand.

Anakin shook his head.

Obi-Wan sighed, and Anakin felt a tinge of sadness seep into their force bond before his master clamped down on his emotions.

Obi-Wan patted the newly bandaged hand, letting his hand linger just a moment, a gentle gesture that made Anakin’s stomach flutter.

“All fixed up, dear one. Do try not to lose this hand too.” Half a smile tugged at Obi-Wans tired face.

I’m only teasing.

Anakin rolled his eyes, allowing himself a small smile.

I know.

They weren’t so much words as, impressions of feelings that...felt like words. It was hard to explain to a non force user, but Anakin imagined it was much like how animals communicated. With impressions rather than words.

Obi-Wan’s eyes lingered on Anakin for a moment, hoping he would air whatever ailed him.

Anakin looked at the floor, chewing his cheek.

“Men died today, Master. Because of me.”

Obi-Wan sighed, stroking his beard contemplatively.

“Men died today, because we are at war, Anakin.”

“But ultimately I made the decision. I’m responsible for my men and today-“

he grit his teeth, jaw working against the overdue tears pooling in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to block out the tirade of his feelings crashing over him.

Obi-Wan’s presence brushed against his mind, caressing him warmly like he had since he was a child. It was gold, and warm, and gentle.

Stop.

Anakin pleaded. The kindness overwhelmed him, and crying right now would be mortifying.

Obi-Wan placed a hand on Anakin’s shoulder.

“You cannot let the burden of horrors of a whole war you did not start rest on your shoulders, padawan,”

Obi-Wan hummed softly, his thumb gently and subtly rubbing reassuring circles Anakin’s shoulder. It felt like a hot poker, in the best way.

Electricity zipped through his body at the touch, but he grit his teeth against it. Anakin fought the urge to nuzzle into his hand.

“I’m not your padawan-“ he spat.

“Still you call me Master,” Obi-Wan retorted, eyes dancing with hopefulness that Anakin would let his shields down, even for a moment.

Anakin chewed his cheek, finally turning to meet his former master’s eye for what felt like the first time all day.

Obi-Wan was radiant. It felt like Anakin could see the warmth he produced rolling off him in waves. He was long suffering, so patient. He was beautiful. Why did he continue to be so patient with him, Anakin wondered.

I’m here.

The phrase sang against their force bond as Anakin placed his forehead on the older man’s shoulder, allowing Obi-Wan to pull him in for a brief embrace.

Energy thrummed between them, and Anakin felt pinpricks of electricity everywhere their skin touched.

Why did he feel like this? He was sure he hadn’t always. He’d spent long years alongside Obi-Wan, sometimes having no other companions. So why now did he suddenly feel exhilarated each time their skin touched?

Thinking back on it actually, he had always harbored a deep affection for the older man that he assumed all padawans had for their masters. That or, it was his damn tendency to be over emotional. He could never tell if his emotions were bigger and heavier than other Jedi, or if he was just exceptionally bad at controlling them.

Obi-Wan seemed so steadfast, not even radiating with the tremendous grief Anakin knew he must have felt after he lost his master and was immediately stuck with Anakin. Anakin had wept, and he’d only known Qui-Gon a short time. Master Kenobi had remained with a stiff upper lip in those days, serious but not broken, and he certainly didn’t let on that he was hurting. Anakin remembered how it had made him mad, that Obi-Wan could be so unfeeling and unperturbed by death. But he grew to envy that trait over the years.

These thoughts zapped through his mind at light speed, neurons firing and firing again, grasping at missed cogs like a broken droid, as he tried to sort out what exactly hummed in his stomach. If only he could tinker on his brain the way he could tinker on speeders and droids.

“You’re going to the medbay and getting pain pills and antibiotics when we land.” Obi-Wan’s voice seemed to pull him back into his body, grounding him, as it always did.

Anakin groaned, rolling his eyes, pulling away to gather his things and prepare for landing.

“And bacta spray!” Obi-Wan called after him.

———————-

Anakin settled himself into his quarters at the Temple. As he had predicted, the council had grounded both their units for three weeks until they could get to the bottom of what was going on with their informant. Ahsoka, had been granted a full week off. Anakin had found out later that she had been solely responsible for making sure Rex made it out alive, and he figured she deserved the full THREE weeks off. But the council insisted she upkeep her training. Sometimes it felt as though Ahsoka ought to be training him.

Anakin had been expecting a verbal thrashing from the council. He loathed going to council meetings. It made him feel so examined, so naked.

They had sort of thrashed him, but not worse than he was used to. So he was his regular level of sour and displeased upon returning to his quarters. He felt like he’d been sent to his room to think about what he’d done. And think about it, he did. It was all he could think about.

Obi-Wan had offered to swing by and split some Ruby Bliels with him later, and after mulling it over for a moment, he’d decided to oblige.

Anakin knew that Obi-Wan knew they were his favorite, and only offered when he knew Anakin was in his head and really suffering. It made Anakin feel naked and embarrassed to know his old master had such a good read on him, but from time to time he obliged the older Jedi and allowed him to extend the kind gesture.

Still, Anakin was nearly surprised when the soft knocks resounded on his door. He couldn’t be bothered to get up from his spot on the floor where he was meditating, so he flicked his wrist and let the force do the work of opening the door.

———

Sorry to leave on a cliff hanger! Tumblr is so mad at me for posting this much text 😂 there’s a lot more. Stay tuned!

Tagging: @haydens-moles @chokemeanakin @anakinswhore @fistmebuckyskywalker

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker #obi wan and anakin #obikin #obi wan kenobi #the clone wars #I know this is a lot of lead up #bear with me plz lol #there’s so much more fic lol #this ficc is thicc and tumblr hates me for it

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lifblogs · 3 years

Text

I Won’t Run, The Guilt Is Mine

Angstpril: Day 3 - “I can’t.”

1547 words

read on ao3

graphic depictions of violence, injury, battle, medical care, angst, whump

@chaos-company

Anakin and Ahsoka were taking heavy fire from Separatist forces. The mission had been going great in terms of low death rate, but now clones—men that Ahsoka had tried to take time to know—were being killed. Luckily Rex, Fives, Echo, and Jesse were still alive. But she wasn’t sure about some of the other 501st members she’d taken a liking to. They had been outflanked and cut off, and now their only hope of getting out of there was to have their main attack force take out the cannons so the gunships could come in and extract them.

“Well this is going great!” Anakin called over the heavy blaster fire. He redirected some blasts with his lightsaber, taking out droids.

Ahsoka grit her teeth as she wielded her two sabers, doing the same.

“Don’t blame me!” she responded. “This was all—your—idea.”

“Cut the attitude, and go help our men on the other side.”

“Right away, Master.”

Ahsoka ran to support the north flank. They were positioned in a circle, and when one man fell along the front lines, he was dragged inwards, and another took his place. It was efficient, but the droids just kept closing in.

“Good to have you here, Commander!” Rex greeted her as she slid in front of him and deflected a red bolt that had been heading towards his helmet.

She spared him a quick nod, and got to work.

The noise around them grew louder, and she thought somewhere close by she heard their other men fighting. A cannon blew up, shaking the ridge to their northeast.

Suddenly, the men around Ahsoka were rushing around her, and she sensed panic through her Force connection with Anakin.

“Master.”

Another explosion shook the battlefield, fire and debris shooting up into the air. Their men crowded each other, chaos overcoming what had once been so orderly.

Then there it was again: panic, helplessness.

“Rex, hold the line!”

“Yes, Commander!”

Ahsoka wove through the troopers, everything a blur of white and blue. They weren’t in a circle anymore. The droids had swarmed them, and they were retreating, making a crowded and disjointed blob, which was quickly becoming fractured.

Her master was far out in the field now, cutting down droid after droid, and using the Force to toss them into each other, push them away. But he was tiring.

“Ahsoka, a little help!” he cried, desperation injecting into his voice.

Heart beating frantically, breathing much too quick, she leapt over some droids, trying to get to his position.

Pain flared in her shoulder, and then her leg, and she plummeted towards the hard ground.

She cried out as she fell.

“Ahsoka!”

Distracted, Anakin had just taken a hit to his abdomen, and had fallen to his knees.

Help, the bond seemed to say, even as she felt his worry for her. But the blaster bolts hadn’t hit anything vital, and had mostly grazed her. Still, she had a hard time fighting as she got back up, the pain slowing her down.

HELP.

“I can’t!” she cried. “Master!”

Explosions shook the ridge, and gunships flew towards their position. But Ahsoka couldn’t feel relief. She couldn’t see Anakin. Where he’d been was nothing but flashing lights and smoke.

Ahsoka took a hit to the back of the head. All went black.

~~~

Adrenaline spiked through Ahsoka so suddenly and with such force that she felt like her chest was going to burst. That’s what woke her.

Blaster fire. Anakin crying for help. The explosions.

“Master!”

Before she knew what was going on or where she was, she was sitting up, reaching for her lightsabers—they weren’t there. Hands held her down.

“No, no! Get off me!”

“Commander.”

Rex?

Ahsoka blinked, beginning to take in her surroundings. She was on their battleship, in her own room in the med bay. Rex and Fives were holding her where she was uninjured, keeping her steady.

A fierce ache raced toward her skull and up through to her montrals, particularly the one on the left. Her shoulder burned, as did her leg.

“The—the battle,” she said. “What happened? Where’s Anakin? Did he make it out?”

“He’s being seen to,” Fives answered. “Now, Commander, you should really lie back down.”

Ahsoka tried to brush them off, but her vision began to swirl, and everything blurred.

For the second time that day, she lost consciousness. The last thing she remembered was Rex lowering her back down, and medicine being injected into her upper arm.

~~~

This time when she woke up, she hurt less, and was in less of a panic. But instead, her body felt heavy, and numbed, the back of her head cold.

Probably a chill pac, Ahsoka realized as she took in her surroundings. Still in the gray and stark cleanliness of the med bay. And this time she was alone. She was warm, at least, but then she winced, tiny pinpricks alighting in her body, and she realized she was under a shock cloth. It would help her, but... she had to go find Anakin.

Ahsoka pushed off the shock cloth, and immediately missed its sturdy warmth. Shaking slightly, she left the bunk they’d put her in, and all but fell as she put weight on her right leg.

Right.

She’d been shot.

Looking down revealed that a medpatch covered part of her leg where her clothing had been torn through, and under that she wouldn’t be surprised if there were mechnosutures.

Great.

A quick exam of herself showed the same for her left shoulder.

Ahsoka held herself up by gripping the bunk, and as dizziness swarmed her, somehow seeming to plunge through her entire body so that nausea began to overtake what strength she’d thought she had, she looked for anything that she could use as a crutch. She hadn’t been left any; probably because she wasn’t supposed to be out of bed and mobile.

Too kriffing bad.

She spotted an IV pole across the room, and limped/dragged herself to it. Then, gripping it in a sweaty palm, she went to go find Anakin.

How badly was he hurt? He was alive still, that much she could sense. But would he stay that way? Was he even conscious? Would he blame her for what had happened?

Perhaps his blame didn’t matter because all Ahsoka could feel was a stone in her stomach from the knowledge that she hadn’t been able to help him, that she’d let him down.

It didn’t take long for her to find Anakin—he was in the room next to hers—and when she did, she saw that he was unconscious. He was burned and bloodied, but had been cleaned up as best as could be managed. Some medpatches were beginning to have a pink tint to them, and she wondered just how deep his wounds went. He lay under a shock cloth, and an oxygen mask was over his face.

Ahsoka nearly collapsed at the sight, and it had nothing to do with the damage to her body.

She went to him, and fell before his bunk.

“Oh, Master.”

She reached to take his hand that had fallen out from under the shock cloth, but then she realized that was bandaged too.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she stared at him. And stared.

Oh blast, this was her fault. All of it. She’d left his side, she hadn’t noticed the enemy surging towards his flank, and she hadn’t been able to reach him to help him. She’d gotten hit in the head of all things! How pathetic. She wasn’t just some regular soldier, or someone fresh out on the field. She was his Padawan, and yet she’d let him down.

“Master, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean...”

She cut herself off as he coughed, and then his blue eyes blinked open slowly. Despite the medicines he’d surely been given, they were still clouded with pain.

“Master?”

He reached up to remove the mask from his face. Ahsoka wanted to stop him, but she didn’t know where she could even touch him. Where wasn’t he injured?

He groaned, but managed to do so.

“Ahsoka, I’m fine.”

“No, no. Look at you!” she argued. “You needed help, and I couldn’t help you. You could’ve died!”

He coughed, let out another groan, and then murmured, voice rough and breathy, as if each word caused pain, “I’m—fine—Snips.”

“Stop lying. You’re not fine. You’re— Oh, how could I have let this happen?”

“You did what you… could.”

“No, I didn’t! I listened to my fear, my pain. I could have saved you, I could have—”

He reached out with his injured hand and weakly grasped her good shoulder. “You couldn’t have,” he murmured.

She bowed her head, and felt tears begin to flow.

Of course. She’d failed him, and he thought so too.

“Anakin, I’m sorry.”

“It’s… alright, Snips. It’s alright.”

Ahsoka didn’t believe that, couldn’t believe that. All she remembered was her failure, her weakness, lying on the ground as she screamed, I can’t!

She had failed him. His injuries were proof of that. Even her own were.

“You—have—to—forgive—yourself—Snips.”

She nodded, vision blurred as more tears fell.

Yet, inside, she knew, I can’t.

#angstpril2021 #daythree #ican't #star wars #the clone wars #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #fanfiction #hurt!ahsoka tano #hurt!anakin skywalker #whump #angst #writing #my writing

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chancelloramidala · 3 years

Text

Across The Stars In A Galaxy Far Far Away ★ Star Wars & Marvel Crossover AU

TWO.

Despite her Jedi training, Ahsoka couldn’t help but be have a child-like excitement of their surroundings. She sat in the window seat beside Anakin and pressed her face against the glass, staring at the big flashy lights and people they passed. From what she saw, Manhattan looked like a smaller version of Coruscant, and lacked the many, MANY, skyscrapers, flying speeders in the air, and alien species walking around. In fact, Ahsoka could only see the human species on the streets and in the cars they passed. Were there no other alien species on Earth? Was she the only alien species here?

Padmé, who was on the other side of Anakin, grinned at Ahsoka’s visible enthusiasm and constant pointing at something new she didn’t recognize but thought it resembled something back home. She nodded along to the teenage Torguta’s animated hand movements and tried to answer as many questions as she could. But the Senator, once Queen, was equally as curious about this planet they were on as Padawan, but dimmed down a couple of notches.

Anakin on the other hand, didn’t like any of this. He was one to throw original plans out the window and improvise, but this was a completely different territory for the Jedi Knight. Hell, this was a completely different part of the galaxy that didn’t know anything about the Jedi or the Force.

Obi-Wan, who was sitting in the front seat with the chair slightly reclined backwards (not that Ahsoka was complaining), could sense his former student’s anxiety about their new environment. Their bond never diminished as time passed, but fortified and became a constant in their lives. He turned his head to look at Anakin and gave him a small smile, sending him soothing waves of warmth through their bond and then closed his eyes for a moment.

Rex was stuck in the back with Artoo, and even if the SUV was roomy, he did not like the tight space. It was different, nothing like a speeder or ship he’s been in. Even Artoo was quietly grumbling about how much he hated this stupid speeder because with each turn and stop, Rex had to outstretch his arm(s) to make sure the astromech droid didn’t topple over and hit Anakin in the back of his head.

Their driver, Clint, stared at the strange bunch. Now when he was expecting a couple of aliens that had kidnapped Peter, he was expecting something along the lines of the Chitauri that he faced all those years ago. But these aliens, weren’t anything like them. Most of them were human, the teenage girl though, she was definitely an alien, for she had orange skin, white face markings and something that resembled horns? She also didn’t have any hair, which wasn’t an issue for the man, but it was different than what he was used to seeing.

But then again, after joining S.H.I.E.L.D. and becoming an Avenger, normal wasn’t in Clint’s vocabulary anymore.

After they finally reached the garage of the Tower, Clint parked the SUV and lead everyone to the elevator, including the beeping robot, which somewhat resembled a rolling trash can, that he forgot they had.

“They have turbolifts here, Master,” the orange skinned humanoid female commented as the elevator started to move. “Fascinating,” she mumbled under her breath.

“It’s slower,” the shaggy-haired human male said with a small smirk.

Clint chuckled softly, “Don’t let Stark hear you say that, he’s already an insufferable bastard as is.”

“I take it this Stark person made this turbolift?” Padmé inquired.

“Yup,” Clint popped the ‘p’, “and the entire building along with a lot of other technological gizmos. He’s the one in the metal suit from earlier that wanted to blast your asses on the spot,”

“Comforting,” Anakin said dryly.

Then, the doors to the turbolift or also known as elevators, opened revealing a red and gold skinned being. Vision smiled amicably at the newest arrivals and stepped aside to let them through. “Welcome, my name is The Vision or just Vision. I’m a synthetic android made from vibranium that was once an A.I for Mr, Stark. He also told me to lead you to the medical labs to be checked up on and to provide you with clothes to change into.”

“Thank you, Vision.” Padmé smiled back at the man and decided to walk beside him, introducing herself and the rest of her group to him.

Anakin then took Obi-Wan off of Rex’s hands, allowing his former teacher lean against him as they followed after Vision and Padmé down the long corridor. When they finally arrived at the doors to the lab, Vision input something into the panel before the doors slide open. There was a man in a purple shirt with his back to the rest of them, staring at a holographic screen and rubbing his chin anxiously.

“Dr. Banner, may I introduce our guests?” Vision told the man, causing him to turn around with blatant surprise.

“Vision, hey,” the Doctor nodded his head and curiously glanced at the group behind him.

“This is Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano, and their astromech droid, R2-D2,” Vision carefully gestured to each and every being clearly making sure that each brief description Padmé gave him correlated correctly.

“Nice to meet all of you, my name is Bruce Banner,” he raised his hand slightly to wave. “I’ll be doing some basic scans and check-ups on all of you, Tony guessed all of your sizes and has some clothes stacked on the bench over there,” he pointed to said bench, “that you can change into. There’s an bathroom connected through that door,” again, pointing to where said door was.

“I’ll go first,” Ahsoka stepped forward with a bright and eager smile.

Bruce eyed the young Torguta with a great amount of curiosity before nodding firmly and gesturing to the table he’d be examining her on. “Thank you, and you’re... Ahsoka, correct?”

“You’re right, doc!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

An hour or so later, everyone had changed out of their clothes and into Earthly outfits. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Rex were given gray, black, and blue sweatpants along with white, green, and gray t-shirts. Ahsoka and Padmé wore black leggings paired with red and blue tees. They’d also been given black sneakers and socks which were surprisingly comfortable.

Obi-Wan, despite his initial injuries, was given a thorough check up by Dr. Banner. His chest was wrapped and he was given some pills for the pain. Everyone else had a clean bill of health, and vaccinations just in case.their space bodies couldn’t handle whatever illnesses Earth had to offer.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé were then tasked with trying to explain their situation to the Avengers (which Anakin was absolutely floored to learn that was their actual team name.) Ahsoka and Rex lingered in the background, keeping to themselves and talking to each other about how weird this all was.

An eccentric billionaire who used all of his high-technology to make the world a better place. A super soldier that was frozen alive for 70 years with a heart of gold. Two assassins with a deep history with one another. Super-powered twins, one was weird, the other was fast. A Doctor that turned into an alternate person which was green and severely muscular when angered. A former assassin that was brainwashed to be a human weapon... and many other team members that they haven’t met because they weren’t on site according to Vision.

“Sorry if I find it hard to believe... any of that.” Tony blinked after Obi-Wan and Padmé spoke about the Clone Wars that had recently ended in their galaxy. “And sorry, that you two and the kid are... um... space wizards?”

“Some find that the Jedi are sorcerers with our magic-like abilities through the Force,” Obi-Wan nodded patiently.

“What about this War you had? You said it was caused by the secession of star systems from your government, the Republic to the Confederacy and for the War, the Clone Troopers were created for the Republic to be used for battle... but there was another alternative plot beneath it all?” Steve asked, particularly eager about the war they had fought.

“Yes, the Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, Sheev Palaptine, was actually a Sith Lord who orchestrated the entire War. He wanted the Republic to crumble along with the Jedi Order so he could restore the Sith Empire... and...” Padmé carefully glanced over at Anakin who was now staring at his hands, gripping them tightly.

Padmé frowned softly and then reached forward and put her hand over his, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze.

“Palpatine... Darth Sideous was grooming me for years and nearly seduced me into the dark side of the Force to become his new apprentice...” Anakin announced in a soft voice as he tried to steady himself from lashing out or leaving the room.

“He had chips put in Rex and all of the clones that when activated, would massacre any and all the Jedi they served.” Obi-Wan added, quick to take attention away from Anakin, knowing all-to-well that the revelations of Palpatine’s true nature was a hard pill for his former student to swallow.

The room went silent for a moment, allowing the information they were receiving to float in the air. It was clear that this group had been through hell and back again for the three years that the Clone Wars raged on.

Steve looked at each and every person, taking note of what kind of role they played. Padmé was a senator, the former Queen of her planet Naboo, who didn’t agree with the War from the start. Obi-Wan and Anakin were generals who watched hundreds of soldiers die under their command for a worthless war. Rex was one of those soldiers who didn’t know where his place was without the War and had survived it but not without a few battle scars. And Ahsoka, she was only a child when the War started, now a growing young woman who not only shouldn’t have never stepped foot on a battlefield, but never had a real childhood.

"I still don’t understand how you got here though. I know space is huge, but out of all the planets to land on, you really chose Earth, huh? And New York nontheless!” Tony chuckled lightly, doing his best to make light of the situation.

“It’s possible that during our escape, we got sucked into a wormhole.” Obi-Wan suggested. “There’s been no records of anyone travelling through one before.”

“Yup, now you’ve lost me,” Clint blinked blankly before getting up to walk into the kitchen. “Anyone want some beers? Don’t answer that, because everyone is getting one. We’ve deserved it.”

“Like I said before, there are Separatist sympathizers that want us dead. They hit our hyperspace drive right when Ani put in the coordinates while we were escaping the skirmish and... here we are.”

Clint then returned from the kitchen, handing out beer bottles to everyone before stopping in front of Ahsoka and eyeing her warily. “How old are you anyway?”

“Galactic Standard would have me at 17,” Ahsoka replied as she eyed the beer bottle in his arms. “It’s the legal age to drink in most of the galaxy,”

“Ah, sorry little lady, but the legal drinking age here is 21,” Clint patted the space between her montrals ever-so carefully in a playful manner before continuing to pass out drinks.

Ahsoka scrunched her face together in annoyance and turned her head in the direction of Anakin. “What a bunch of bantha-poodoo! Master, you’ve seen me drink before! Tell the sleemo,”

“Sorry Snips, but if their legal age is different here then...” Anakin shrugged his shoulders to indicate that the situation was simply out of his hands before popping open the top of the beer bottle and taking a sip.

Rex laughed loudly and slapped his hand over his mouth to stifle it. He’s seen his fair share of the Torguta drinking, many times he had to drag her back to base over his shoulder because she was a bit of a lightweight. And if he was going to be honest, this was the peek of entertainment.

The teen crossed her arms over her chest and huffed as she watched him drink. “This sucks, Skyguy.”

“Ah, I’ll have to decline from drinking.” Obi-Wan gestured to his chest. “I’m on medication and I don’t know how well that would mix with alcohol.”

“I can make some tea instead, I don’t drink anyway,” Wanda waved her hand as strings of red floated from her fingertips and towards the kitchen, where the stove turned on and a tea kettle started to bottle.

“Splendid,” Obi-Wan nodded his head in her direction, thankful that they at least had tea here. “Might want to make some for Ahsoka here, she looks like she needs a calming tea.”

Ahsoka stuck her tongue out at the older man in a childish manner. “Oh you think you’re so funny, Master.”

Whilst everyone was busy conversing and sharing stories, Padmé would discreetly pass her beer to Ahsoka, knowing that a few sips couldn’t hurt. The teenage girl was more than happy that the Senator was giving into her whims. Plus, the two have had their fair share of nights spent sharing a bottle of Alderaanian wine towards the end of the War.

Though, this act didn’t go unnoticed by everyone. Tony thought it was funny when he first noticed the exchange, recalling how his first few drinks were at home with Jarvis. He didn’t say anything, just smirked behind his bottle and went on with their night.

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nimsajlove · 3 years

Text

a dip in the pool

Not sure about how this turned out. But its better than the first version of this idea.

Brothers-AU Ao3

*~*

“Master, come on! This is not the first time, that you have sent me out alone.” Rex and the other men in the gunship did not bother to look up, the spectacle was nothing new. Ever since the Commander was nearly shot out of the sky, General Skywalker always went a little crazy when he had to send Ahsoka off alone. Even when ‚alone‘ was a huge lie, she had chosen the men to accompany her herself. Rex had to admit that it was his fault, that Kix wasn't there. Instead, he had picked Coric, who had more experience with the climate they would be in.

"I'll be right in front of you, okay?", said the General one last time, as the girl climbed into the gunship with the men. She huffed and shook her head, then the doors slid shut. Rex glanced down at her and had to smile. "Don't hold it against him, the last time was close.", he muttered soothingly, she answered him with a hard look and when he hold her gaze, she let out a deep breath. "I know. But I'm not alone after all!", she suddenly grinned again and he had to admit, that he liked her grin better than her anger. Outside, the other ships turned up their engines and also the one under their feet began to thump softly. One last time he went over the plan again in his head. Get as far behind enemy lines as possible and infiltrate the station. "If you fall in somewhere again today!", Jesse threatened at the other end of the narrow room and Hardcase laughed loudly, Droidbait and Echo shook their heads.

*~*

Grumbling, she pulled the coat tighter around her body, they hadn't been in the atmosphere long and the cold was already penetrating the ship. How she hated it. Togruta came from a dense grassland, she had never made friends with snow and ice. But unfortunately the separatists didn't ask about her preferences, so she would take what she was getting. She watched Coric tighten his backpack a little. One of the buckles seemed to loosen again and again and she saw Hardcase open his mouth, his comment being drowned in the noise of the first rocket.

She had known, that they would be exposed to fire. That didn't make it any less terrifying, however, when she imagined the gunships falling out of the sky. For a moment she had the feeling of wet palms, then she clung to her training in the temple and her pulse came back down a little. Even with the second bang, she stayed calm. Only the third one, dangerously close to the ship, made her flinch. The men put on their helmets, but she could feel their eyes on her. "It's going to be bumpy.", the pilot's voice rang out, then suddenly it was loud. With a ringing in her ears, she registered how the ship's center of gravity shifted and they tilted. The doors opened, she didn't knew how, and she saw two things. One was a wall of fire, the other was ice. That came very close very quickly. Then there were bodies between her and the picture and it got dark.

For a long time Ahsoka did not move, trying to understand what had happened. She clutched the Force fiercely and opened her eyes, her instinctive reaction seemed to have saved them, except the pilot. The clones stirred around her and when she wanted to turn her head the ship groaned above her head, immediately she regained her concentration. She had sweat on her forehead as the men moved cautiously towards her. "We're still alive, what now?", Hardcase asked and they waited a moment, Ahsoka barely had enough energy to think clearly. All her focus was on the junk above her. She paid little attention to the low murmur until a sound silenced everyone. The ice sang beneath their feet, then a fine crack appeared. Immediately Ahsoka's thoughts raced again, her brothers had to get out of here. Immediately! The panic in her stomach gave her strength and with a jerk she lifted the structure above her, the men didn't need any more commands. Rex and Coric crawled out through the crack first and put their hands back in, grabbed Droidbait and dragged him through as well. Hardcase was the last and hesitated before putting a hand around her wrist. "I'll push you through, okay?" Ahsoka wanted to nod when she felt the ship slip a little further as she tried. The soft crunch moved the clone to simply grab her, lay her on the floor and push her towards Rex and Coric, they grabbed her and put her back on her feet. Exactly two seconds later Hardcase was also outside and Ahsoka carefully lowered the ship, at that moment it slipped completely from her and slammed onto the ice. "Get out of here!", she roared and heard the men behind her start moving, as soon as they were a few steps away from her, she let go of the ship for good and fled herself. She heard the ice breaking behind her and the fine cracks spreading under her feet. She looked ahead, Droidait had already reached the bank of the ice. Sweat ran into her eyes, everything blurred and blinking she tried to get the last bit of energy out of herself. Holding up a ship for so long was way beyond, what she could normally do. Then it got cold, startled she let out a breath and sank.

*~*

She wasn't cold, but she didn't felt her body. It was, as if she did not have one and panic overcame her. Then the voices appeared, first softly, then more clearly. In the darkness in which she was swimming, she tried to understand what had happened. "Still nothing, the transmission is blocked." The voice sounded calm, with a frustrated undertone underneath. Echo. If he sounded so composed, then Droidbait was still there! That was good, otherwise the other dominoes would tear off her head... "Stop that! I'm fine.", someone nearer grumbled, Hardcase maybe? Or Jesse? She wasn't sure, at least one of the two must have hit his head in the crash.

After that the voices became quieter but did not move away. It was nice to know the men were still there. After a few seconds of silence, she realized with faint astonishment, that it was not black around her. It was like closing her eyes to a weak source of light... Something rustled near her ear and she wanted to turn her head to see what it was. She was surprised when she actually opened her eyes. So they were still there! Moving her head made a sharp pain shoot down her back and she breathed in with a hiss, and her body was back immediately. It was kind of nicer without it. Every inch of her body hurt terribly and her skin was numb, because she couldn't feel the crackling blanket. For that she could see it. "I would not do that vod’ika.", someone mumbled directly above her montreals and even if she couldn't look up, she recognized Jesse who was sitting behind her under the covers. He pressed his cheek against her head, it hurt! She hissed and wanted to duck her head, just away from the pain. One hand grabbed her and pressed her again against the clone behind her, Coric crouched in front of her and looked at her seriously. Oh, she was too tired to argue with a medic. “We have to get you warm. I'm sorry.", he explained in a surprisingly calm voice. Why get warm, she wasn't cold at all? "You broke in.", came another voice and without her being able to see him, her thoughts relaxed. Then Rex appeared in her field of vision, so that she didn't had to turn her head. "Don't do that again kid.", he chided her, but he seemed relieved. Had it been that close? How far had they gotten anyway? "H... How far...", she started and then broke off, the pain as she moved her mouth stretching across her face, through her jaw and down into her shoulders. It brought tears to her eyes when her teeth began to chatter slightly. Now that they were once moved, they never stopped! "Droidbait! Come over here.", Coric said to the shadows, that were moving at the edge of her field of vision. She couldn't see him, but heard how the blanket rustled again and Droidbait squeezed with her and Jesse. His hands on her skin let the tears run down. Everything was on fire.

She believed that the fingers were supposed to be gentle on her face. But the touch was like cutting through her skin. "That'll be over soon.", Rex mumbled in front of her, then turned his head to Coric, who was rummaging in his backpack next to him. "Found it?" He nodded and pulled out what looked like a small blanket made of bandages. It was tiny, it would just cover her chest. Rex took it and gave it to Jesse, who pulled it under the covers and draped it over the girl's torso. Immediately the pain went up brutally and she gritted her teeth with a growl, even if the tears continued to roll.

Echo and Hardcase approached in concern, seeing the girl cry put all of the men in the little cave on alert. That was their Commander, their sister! It was wrong to see her suffer. Hardcase was glad Kix wasn't down here. The low cursing the medic tended to, would not have been helpfull. For a few seconds everyone crouched around the little fire and the girl, then her teeth began to clatter and she shook violently, Coric breathed a sigh of relief and got up again. "That's good.", smiled the Captain and Hardcase knew that his voice could be extremely gentle and calm. Fresh from Kamino, he hadn't known anything better to keep the nightmares away. He had never seen Rex turn away a younger brother. But the sheer relief that sounded in his voice now, made him realize how close it really had been.

The Commander's small body shook even more violently as she tried to keep a sob behind her teeth. Hoping that he might be able to help her further, he glanced at the girl's coat and clothes. But there was nothing to be done. She had only been in the water for a few seconds, she had slumped not far from the bank and Jesse and Rex hadn't let her sink particularly deep. In the eternity that followed, which they used to find shelter, the clothes on her were frozen stiff. Now these things near the fire were thawed, but soaking wet. Next to him, Echo got up and went to the entrance of the hole they had found. Hardcase followed him, he couldn't stand sitting around any more and maybe someone was out there to be spotted.

*~*

She was terribly cold! Now that she could feel the warmth again, her body had decided to freeze her nicely. At least the touch of the heat pad on her bare chest didn't hurt as if it was cutting through her skin. And she was tired. She felt empty, completely exhausted. It was a miracle that she hadn't sunk to the bottom of the lake like a stone.

Without the pain, she finally managed to think clearly again. Shivering, she curled up a little tighter and shuddered as Jesse wrapped his arms a little closer around her. Had her brothers always been this warm? She wanted to get a little more energy out of the Force, just to be able to get up again. But there was nothing left. To get a tiny bit of energy would exhaust her more, than serve her. So it was the traditional way. "I'm starving.", she muttered, grinning as the men around her laughed. Coric held out a ration bar and even if these things would probably never taste good, she gulped it down. It was surprising how filling a single bar could be. The wave of tiredness that overcame her again shortly afterwards, however, was not a surprise. A full stomach made you tired, she knew that. But if she could keep her eyes open beyond this point... "Still nothing!", Echo cursed from the entrance and came back in, Hardcase right behind him. Both took off their helmets. They showed the same frustrated expression on their faces. "How far did we get?", Ahsoka asked, finally she could get the words out of her mouth. She stopped shivering. “We were almost at the landing zone. I suspect, that the general didn't see our crash.", Rex replied and Ahsoka had to agree, otherwise her Master would have appeared here long ago to drag her back onto the cruiser. "Do you think, he has a chance as long as the base is stable?", she asked quietly, hoping that one of the clones would tell her not to worry. But she also wanted them to be honest with her. Everyone was silent for a while, seeming to consider the options. "I don't think so.", Echo then answered and rubbed his face exhausted with his hand, the others mumbled approvals and Ahsoka sighed, at least that drove away the leaden tiredness a little. Alright.

"Coric, please tell me you have prepared for something like this.", she smiled and nodded in the direction of her things, which were still damp by the fire. He grimaced and shrugged. "I only have one top to maintain the core temperature.", he announced and rummaged in his backpack, how much would fit in such a thing? Ahsoka knew how heavy they could be. But how heavy were they, when a medic was stuffing them with everything he could get hold of? The black top that went to her was clearly too big for her. Anyway, it would do the job. "Well then.", she huffed and peeled herself off the blanket before tugging the top over her head. Then she got up and picked up the rest of her clothes, they were cold and damp, but it would be okay... "I think that's a bad idea.", growled Droidbait, who had also got up. He and Jesse put their armor back on. When Ahsoka closed her cold coat she shuddered, she had only just warmed up! "But it's the best chance we have.", Rex replied and picked up his helmet from the floor. "How nice, that we are on the same page.", she grinned and put on her hood.

* ~ *

A gunship had never sounded so beautiful! Shivering, she wrapped her arms around herself, fine ice crystals covered her clothes. At least it was now clearly dry! No sooner had the doors closed behind her, Coric put down the backpack and held out his hand to her. "Get out of your coat, now." She considered protesting for a moment, it was still cold in the ship. But Coric's gaze did not allow any further discussion and trembling, she peeled off her coat, he put it to one side and grabbed her hands. Her fingertips were pale and tingled with every movement. "I will inform the medbay that-" "Out of the question!", she interrupted the Medic immediately and snatched her hands from him, every touch of her fingers hurt slightly. When she got in the medbay, Skywalker would again only let her walk in the back for months. That was not fair! She had proven today, that she could take care of the men and that she was practically unscathed! No grazing shots, scratches or the like. Coric huffed and she was already preparing for a lecture, when a comlink was switched on to her right. "Kix? Get us a few more blankets into the quarters, and a cup of caf.”, ordered Rex, she was sure that he was smiling under his helmet. Ahsoka alternated between being angry and being grateful. "Sure.", Kix confirmed and Rex seemed satisfied, he turned to Jesse. “I'll make sure that the General doesn't learn every little detail of this. Make sure she doesn't run into him half-frozen.” Now she could clearly hear the smile and puffed up her cheeks, before ramming an elbow into his side. "I'm old enough and I have the higher rank.", she grumbled, knowing that Rex didn't push her around like that often. But at that moment it got really on her nerves, she just wanted to forget the whole thing! "Okay Sir, then I'll let Coric take care of the matter." She immediately sagged, even the Medic had to laugh now.

*~*

It was a miracle they didn't even come across Master Skywalker the whole way. She held her fists convulsively at her side and kept her back straight, only when they entered the quarters did she gave up. Kix was already waiting for her and there was no point in trying to hide anything. If Coric wanted to take her off duty, Kix would sedate her in an emergency to take care of her. She wanted to avoid it, one angry medic was enough for her for today.

Kix clicked his tongue in disapproval as Jesse pushed her in his direction and he wrapped one of the rough blankets around her, before pushing her onto her bunk. Then he pulled his backpack over and took her hands, they hadn't really gained in color and only now did she see that the skin on the joints was torn and bloody. "I'll let you all go alone one time and you almost lose your fingers.", he scolded her and began to rub the joints, the thin layer of Bacta burned, although it never did otherwise. Ahsoka attributed it to the fact, that it was warmer than her numb fingers. It was a strange curiosity that made her move her fingers, she wanted to remember how they hurt to be able, to recognize it. She took a light hit of Kix, who had pulled out some bandages and was wrapping her hands with amazing speed, she kept forgetting that he had the ability to get the men back on their feet on the battlefield. He got up grumbling, she caught something about idiots and frostbite. A little guiltily, she looked down. "Thanks.", she muttered as Kix thrust a set of black clothes into her hands. As she wrapped herself out of the blanket, a little stiffly, his gaze softened. "It's okay, just skip the swimming next time?", he asked and packed his things again. When he closed the backpack, Ahsoka had already changed and tried to slide the sleeves, that were much too long, over her hands. Jesse, who had disappeared a short time, came back with a second blanket, a steaming mug, and a ration bar. Sighing, she sat down on her bunk again and wrapped one blanket around her shoulders, her brothers wrapped her in the second and Jesse pressed the cup into her hands. The heat even shone through the bandages and her fingers hurt, but she gratefully gripped the cup. The faster she got her limbs warm again, the sooner the pain would be over.

She had just taken the first sip and grimaced, she had never been a big fan of Caf, when the door slid open and Fives and Cutup came in. Jesse was still amused by the girl's face, but the two newcomers hesitated at the sight of the commander. "Sir, what happend to you?", Cutup asked and Ahsoka raised an eyebrow defiantly, should the others think what they want. "You are... pale.", Fives explained and when she only puffed her cheeks, the two men turned to their brothers questioningly. "Our commander wanted to try diving.", Jesse joked, he just seemed happy to finally be away from this freezing planet. Ahsoka would have been amazed, if she had known how much of his relief had to do with the fact, that she was still sitting next to them and drinking her Caf, disgusted but grateful. She wanted to shrug, but the movement made her still cold muscles ache. It was like they were contracting and not loosening again. She sucked in a sharp breath and the sound set Fives and Cutup moving again. They quickly got rid of their armor and climbed into the bunk with her. Squeezed so closely together, the warmth of the others seeped through the blanket.

When the others returned she was asleep, her head on Five's shoulder and finally warm again. Rex passed the datapad to Jesse, who scanned the report. He had to smile and exchanged a look with the Captain, he too grinned slightly. Ahsoka Tano had done an excellent job, but maybe it really was better to hide how close it had been. Skywalker did not need to know all of this.

#star wars #clone wars #ahsoka tano #clone trooper echo #clone trooper fives #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper rex #clone trooper coric #clone trooper hardcase #clone trooper droidbait #clone trooper cutup #brothers-au

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catharticdaydream · 3 years

Text

just stop your crying (it’ll be alright)

or, the one where obi wan learns ahsoka is alive.

(read on ao3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679684/chapters/72978921)

CHAPTER ONE:

ahsoka tano. it was a name obi wan hadn’t heard in years, and hadn’t expected to ever hear again. certainly not in a dirty cantina in tatooine years after the republic fell. after anakin fell.

no, anakin skywalker was dead. vader killed him. anakin died the moment he pledged himself to the dark side, another victim of the clone wars, and the far more sinister plot that had been behind it than anyone had dared to believe. anakin had died, along with everyone else that obi wan had held dear. he had lost them all- anakin, padme, ahsoka- all in the span of one rotation. if obi wan thought about it for too long, he was afraid he’d never come back from the pit of despair.

obi wan needed to do something, anything, after a particularly rough day, where the memories wouldn’t leave him alone. he had never been one to drink while he was a jedi, he found indulging in such things to be unnecessary, but ever since his fate became living in solitude, forced to watch over a boy from afar, vowing never to allow himself to get close to the boy...well such things didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. he made his way to the cantina, ordered the strongest drink he could find, and sat down in a table in the far left corner.

obi wan listened. he was good at listening. he mastered the art of listening years ago, whether it be listening to qui gon lecture him when he was a padawan, or listening to the jedi council debate for hours about the order, or listening to anakin and ahsoka ramble on about the latest holofilm they had seen. regardless of what it was, obi wan was a man of few words, but he heard everything going on around him. if you sat in a cantina long enough, you would hear a lot of stories. time lost its meaning, and quite honestly, obi wan could feel a little more normal in there, just another face in the crowd.

“‘soka tano sent me,” was the phrase that threw obi wan out of his jawa-juice induced haze. he picked his head up, eyes darting in the direction of the voice.

“what did you say?” obi wan asked, words coming out a little bit more slurred than he had anticipated. the men who had spoken, clearly bounty hunters of some kind, quieted down.

“what’s it to you?” the biggest one, a trandoshan, said as he stood up. obi wan, jawa juice giving him courage, stood up as well.

“that name, where did you hear it?” obi wan repeated. his heart was hammering unusually hard.

“let me rephrase that. what’s it worth to you?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan reached into his pocket, handing over 5 credits. the trandoshan took them, inspected them, and put them in his pocket.

“just a name i heard from a bounty hunter. some togrutan kid,” he shrugged. obi wan felt his heart beat faster.

“which bounty hunter?” obi wan pleaded.

“hm?” the trandoshan asked. obi wan rolled his eyes, reached into his pocket, and put two more credits on the table.

“i said, which bounty hunter? what was his name?”

“her name was bo. bo something...i don’t remember the last name,” the trandoshan said.

“bo katan?” obi wan said incredulously.

“yeah, yeah that was her. she’s here on mos eisley, if you want to talk to her. though i’d

imagine her fee is a bit steeper than mine,” the trandoshan hissed. obi wan said, nothing, simply putting credits down on his table to pay for his drink, and darted out of the cantina.

ahsoka was alive. ahsoka was alive. obi wan hadn’t seen her at the jedi temple after the attack, and lived with the horrible image of rex killing her, alone and afraid, for all these years.

obi wan wasn’t sure when he had broken into a sprint, looking for some trace of bo katan, or better, ahsoka herself. he wasn’t sure what he’d do when he finally saw her. he’d spent years thinking about what he would have told his family if he had known that it was the last time he was going to see them. sure, he had tried to let them know how dear they were to him before every mission- but now, it still didn’t feel like enough. he hadn’t hugged them enough, told them he loved him enough, thanked them for being there for him through everything. and now, he may have a second chance.

he looked everywhere for even a glimpse of something that could give him a clue as to her whereabouts, when he saw a woman walking in familiar mandalorian armour.

“bo katan!” obi wan shouted. the woman stopped in her tracks, turing her head to the direction of the voice. when she was able to make out the face of her caller, she froze, and took off her helmet.

“obi wan kenobi?” she asked in disbelief. “you’re alive?”

“where’s ahsoka?” obi wan asked, wasting no time to achieve his task.

“what? what are you doing here? how did you escape, i thought all the jedi had been-”

“bo katan, please. where’s ahsoka? i heard she was with you.” bo katan’s face hardened.

“where did you hear that?” bo katan asked.

“does it matter? bo, please. i need to see her, i need her to know i’m alive,” obi wan pleaded. bo katan’s face softened when she saw the look of pure desperation obi wan was currently wearing. she sighed.

“look, come with me,” she said, putting her helmet on her head before looking around. she took obi wan’s wrist and pulled him into an alley covered by a battered and beaten tapestry.

“i can’t tell you much. she’s working undercover with me. last time i talked to her, she was on jedha,” bo katan whispered.

“jedha?” obi wan cried.

“shhh! what part of ‘undercover’ did you miss?” bo katan said, putting a finger up to his lips.

“what the kriff is she doing there?”

“i already said i couldn’t tell you much. in fact i’ve probably told you too much already,” bo katan sighed. obi wan looked around, eager to start his journey to find his grandpadawn. “listen to me obi wan,” bo katan started.

“actually, it’s ben now,” obi wan corrected. bo katan scrunched her face up in confusion for a moment before disregarding the comment.

“whatever you name is, listen up. if you do anything to compromise this mission, you will be joining my sister in the stars. got is?” the mention of satine sobered obi wan, who nodded.

“thank you, bo katan. really,” obi wan said sincerely. she nodded, and without saying another word, took off on her jetpack. obi wan stood in a stunned silence for a moment, processing all of the new information that had been given to him. despite the deep seated sadness he felt for the actions that caused this situation to arise, obi wan couldn’t help but feel giddy with excitement.

ahsoka was alive.

he needed to find a ship to take him to jedha. he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to get one on tatooine- being a hermit didn’t exactly pay well. still, obi wan had been quite resourceful in his youth. then, there was the question of the young boy he was supposed to be keeping an eye on. watching over luke from afar proved to be a much harder task than he cared to admit- he wanted nothing more than to see the boy, all that remained of his brother and good friend, and teach him everything he knew. still, he knew better. he had seen what his love for anakin had done, and was terrified of doing the same thing to luke.

he was sure that the boy, who was only four years old, couldn’t get into much trouble while obi wan was gone. of course, he was still anakin’s child, and obi wan could only hope that he took after padme when it came to his ability to create chaos.

‘a ship,’ obi wan thought, remembering the task at hand. ‘i need to find a ship.’ he considered his options. he could steal a ship, sure, but obi wan liked to think that he still maintained some semblance of a moral code. he could buy a ship, but with his reputation and lack of funds, he was more than sure that anyone selling a ship would certainly take advantage of his desperate situation. his last option, and one that he desperately didn’t want to do, was to gently suggest to someone that they let him borrow his ship. obi wan had no idea if that would even work- he had closed himself off to the force months after anakin fell, their distorted bond too painful to bear. he hadn’t so much as mediated since that day. on top of that, if he was caught attempting to use the force, and he failed, he was certain that some bounty hunter wouldn’t hesitate to grab him and hand him over to the empire.

but it still looked like his only option.

he looked around for his target, somewhere isolated where he would risk the least if he failed. he found a small rodian unloading a small ship over by the back of the cantina. obi wan put his hood up and casually made his way to the ship.

‘this is for ahsoka,’ he reminded himself. he walked up to the rodian and took a breath.

“excuse me,” he said, getting his attention.

“yeah? what do you want?” the rodian asked. obi wan sucked in a breath. “well? spit it out?”

obi wan held up a hand. “you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet,” he said, pretending not to notice the way he hand shook as if he were still a padawan.

“what?” the rodian asked. obi wan felt his heart rate spike up. he swallowed the lump of fear in his throat, and raised his hand again, more confidently this time. he had been a jedi knight, a jedi master, and a general in the clone wars. he could do this.

“i said, you will let me board your ship, and leave the planet.” obi wan waited for a moment as the rodian stood up straight, and nodded.

“i will let you board my ship and leave the planet,” he nodded, walking away without a second thought. obi wan breathed out a sigh of relief, and wasted no time running onto the ship, sitting down in the cockpit. he looked at the controls for a moment, and found himself, not for the first time, wishing anakin was with him. he was a good pilot, sure, but having anakin by his side always made him feel at ease. anakin was the best pilot he had ever met.

‘snap out of it,’ obi wan reminded himself. ‘anakin is gone. but ahsoka may not be, and you need to find her.’ he pushed a few of the buttons, finding that perhaps not all of his knowledge that he had kept from his days as a general- knowledge that he thought he had shoved down to the darkest parts of his memory- were buried as deep has he had thought. obi wan felt actual joy as the ship sprung to life, and he set his course to jedha.

the trip was going to be a long one, jedha was at least 5 parsecs away from tatooine, and he figured that, even while jumping to hyperspace, he’d be on the ship for at least a day. he set the course for jedha, and made the jump to hyperspace. obi wan leaved back in his seat, letting himself feel the full weight of the situation for the first time today.

he was going to be seeing ahsoka. ahsoka tano, his grandpadawan, the girl who he let down, the girl who he loved as much as if she were his own padawan. when she had made the choice to leave the order, he had stood back and allowed anakin to talk to her, gave him time to grieve, but at night, when he was certain he was alone, would take his own time to mourn her. he and anakin may have had their differences in the way they showed affection, but obi wan would have done anything to protect that girl. and he had failed, just like he had failed everyone else. satine, padme, anakin, and ahsoka too; obi wan felt responsible for all of them.

obi wan thought about what he was about to do. even if he did see ahsoka again, was he prepared for that? did he even have the words to tell her how sorry he was? and if he did, would it matter? what if ahsoka didn’t want to see him? what if she blamed him for anakins fall, for padme’s death. or worse, what if she did? obi wan wasn’t sure if he would be able to face her in the eyes and tell her what he had done.

lost in his thoughts, and staring at the emptiness of space, obi wan fell asleep.

#star wars #star wars fanfic #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #bo katan kryze #anakin skywalker #fanfic #writing #ash writes

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kinsbin · 4 years

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Still Yours [Xena/Darth Maul]

Title: Still Yours Pairing: Xena/Darth Maul [SI/Canon] Word Count: 3358 Rating: T [violence, cursing, angst, mentions of blood]

Summary: [SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 OF THE CLONE WARS] Years after Obi-Wan Kenobi had killed Darth Maul, Xena has been a part of the Jedi’s forces for a long while, and has only finally been able to accept the death of her loved one and previous master... Until a run in with another Zabrak proves her wrong, and she is able to reunite with Maul, however broken he may be.

A/N: I AM EMOTIONAL OVER DARTH MAUL AND THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN BECAUSE I WANT TO BE THERE TO COMFORT HIM EVEN IN HIS MADNESS. I might write a sequel to it later but I am sleepy now so you get this for now! )b

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He was dead. He had been for a while now.

It was a fact that Xena, eventually, had to find herself accepting.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had been gracious in their received of her, of course, but she knew they were weary. She could sense it in the lingering threads of their force when she poked and prodded at it as carefully as she could manage, like a researcher examining a wild beast up close. Sedated as it was, she knew it was still volatile. Still shaky at best as the two claimed her Force Sensitivity in favor of the Jedi who hoped that, one day, she might be ready for the training it took to fully embrace the sight of the light.

It made her laugh. Light... Dark... Neither of those things mattered in the end, did they? Her neutrality could not be removed from her sense of emotion that was for certain, but, Obi-Wan certainly took it upon himself to try at a near constant rate. It bordered on near annoyance each time the two of them found one another alone in their company.

He could, without a doubt, sense the vaguest harboring of hatred deep in Xena’s heart for what he had done to the man that she loved so many years ago, but, there was only in the present a sense of... acceptance. Of moving on as he might want her to and a particularly deep talk with Kenobi after having a few too many glasses of alcohol at a local bar they had stopped at for information ended with her confessing just that to him. Granted there were a lot more tears and throwing up in the morning, but the point was gotten across as the Jedi Master brought her pain killers the next day alongside a glass of water and a nod of appreciation for their heart to heart.

How annoying, Xena thought, but she had accepted the water anyways.

Just as she had accepted that there was no more Maul.

It still hurt. Just because she had accepted it didn’t mean that it hurt any less to think of it for too long, just as she was doing as Anakin finally brought the edges of their ship to a safe landing along the edge of a diner she couldn’t recognize the name of. Ahsoka complained somewhere in her peripheral as Anakin declared himself tired of army rations and hurried to get out of the cramped machine, only to find them surrounded with sirens going off in soft, hurried motions as they meandered accordingly to protocol. Xena sat up, suddenly aware of the situation, and her mouth dried for a brief moment in a combination of annoyance and fear.

“Xena,” Anakin’s voice was in that dark tone he always used when he ordered her around, “Stay out here with the ship. See what information you can gather form those passing by, maybe they saw someone leaving.’

She didn’t answer with words, only a nod as he and Ahsoka entered the diner without her. As the door closed she gazed around, the sweeping of her stare intense through the frames of her glasses as she observed the world around her as she was good at doing. She had been good at doing it before she was involved in all of this ‘Jedi’ and ‘Sith’ business. Before she had met Maul and before she had flown off of the planet of Tatooine. She was still good at it now. When the Clone Wars Ended and the galaxy fell apart, she would STILL be good at it.

Which was why, when her sharp eyes and ears picked up the sound of footsteps all too fast to be a casual movement, her head snapped to the side and her eyes narrowed into slivers at the sight of an alleyway.

The cargo within it was still being moved as it shifted and pushed against itself in heavy metal crates. When she found herself sliding between each squared off pile, her gaze held fast to the dust that coated each one. She took note of the way it was blown, windswept, across the fronts and how some of them (only some) had small markings. Divots of where fingers had dipped and rubbed before passing by with extreme haste. She was no tracker, certainly, but you didn’t need a lot of experience to tell that whoever was moving was doing so with a desperately needed speed.

She followed, more and more, until she came upon it. A massive cargo ship, pulling its fresh haul as the doors had begun to close on its loading dock. A sudden sharpness tugged in her heart, making her gasp as it squeezed around the organ with a desperate, snake-like movement before tugging and tugging and TUGGING as hard as it possibly could against her skin and her body moved without her permission, running fast and calling upon the force she did possess to jump just quick enough to squeeze tightly into one of the edges of the closing platform on the cargo bay, cementing her fate inside the hold for... well... whatever it may offer her.

The inside was quiet save for the cursed mutterings of something in the cockpit. The pilot, likely, and her heart skipped a beat as she realized just where she was.

Just what she was doing.

Without Ahsoka and Anakin.

Oh she was going to be in so much trouble.

The thought had to wait, however, as she ducked herself as quietly as she could through the sliding door and closed it with equal speed, keeping herself low to the ground behind a small out cove in the wall as she listened with careful patience in her hiding spot, stopping her breathing in the fear that it might alert the massive being before her as he stood, hulking and serious, alongside the annoyed pilot.

He was big. Golden even in the light of the cockpit and the markings upon his body were so distinctly Darthomirian in nature that she barely even needed to look up at the horns crowning his head to know that that was exactly what he was. A Zabrak. A Night Brother.

She frowned as her brow furrowed with confusion. What was a Night Brother doing so far out in the galaxy and alone at that? Maul had talked little of his origins with her, but, he had said enough for her to understand the basic matriarchal society that the brothers lived in. Biting her lip, the tug on her heart echoed again. This time, however, it was stronger. Angrier. Something more fierce than she had experienced in a very long time and, oh, the burn was something so nostalgic that it almost made her want to cry as she covered her mouth with a hand to stop the echoing sob.

��Soon, Brother, I will find you.” The Zabrak finally spoke, his voice deep and his words causing a spur in her heart. A hope that pushed her up as her eyes widened.

“Brother? Who is your brother?”

The Zabrak turned, anger in his eyes, and Xena paled as he pushed towards her without hesitation. In return she ducked, her smaller stature helpful against his larger one as she rolled off to the side, causing the pilot to jostle himself slightly with a curse that fell from his lips. She sidestepped the next touch too and tried her best to gaze at the strange medallion that hung from her attacker’s neck. So soft it was... and yet her heart continued to pull at it with a frantic sort of desperation...

The hand closing on her neck, crushing her windpipe with an angry grip, was enough to draw her from her stupor and she gasped for breath. She gazed down at the Zabrak with fear meeting his fearsome stare. He hesitated only when the device around his neck began to glow in and out of existence with a frantic, pulsating movement, as if trying to get his attention. Looking down at it, his brow furrowed in confusion before he held it in one palm to hold it up curiously to her form. Once close enough to her, the device let off a long... steady glow.

Immediately the being put her down, letting her gasp for air as he glared at her with a confusion written so clearly across his face she might have laughed at it if her windpipe wasn’t moderatley bruised.

“You,” He growled as his hand found the top of her head and tugged hard on her skull, her hair cut too short to provide any leverage with his claws so he simply HELD, “You are not who I’m looking for and yet... It reacts to you. Why?”

“Maul,” the first words fell from her lips in a choked desperation, “I-Is the Brother you’re looking for... Is it Maul?”

His gaze held disbelief. The demand of how she could have possibly known that clear on her eyes as she swallowed hard:

“I... Was his apprentice, once... And I still am loyal to him. So, please... Please take me with you if you’re going to find him. That’s all I ask.”

“Make your decision quick,” The pilot hissed as he lowered them into a suddenly unfamiliar planet, “We’re arriving.”

The Zabrak looked down at her, distrust still in his eyes but with the begrudgingly slow acceptance of her status in the situation. Xena took a breath, flexing and laxing her hands as she chewed on her lip and decided, one last time, to put a foot forward in hopes of being brought along on this journey that she prayed would give her life meaning once again:

“My name is Xena.”

“... Savage,” He answered with an accepting nod, “Let’s go, then.”

And her heart nearly wept.

Because this meant he wasn’t dead at all.

----

It was how Xena had ended up with Savage beneath the ground of Lotho Minor, the calls of her companion echoing with chilling distance across the deep, endless caves they had found themselves within.

Every movement filled her body with anxiety. With a unique sense of dread that echoed itself so deeply in her veins that she could feel her hairs stand up from their follicles to the tip with every movement she forced herself into. Keen red eyes traced the world around them, but not even her sight could pierce that impending darkness that swallowed them. Savage, as if sensing her insecurity, paused in movements only to reach out and touch at her shoulder, gently guiding her to a small pile of rocks just before a step in the path they were taking.

“Stay here, Little One,” The nickname hurt even from another Zabrak’s lips, “I will go ahead.”

“I can take care of myself.” Her snap was defensive as she pushed against his grip, but it held firm as he watched her with something akin to frustration and protection in his eyes. She wondered if that was just an emotion she had evoked in the species, and the muse was hilarious enough to bring a smirk to her lips at the idea of any male Zabrak filled with the sudden urge to guard her in one way or another.

And then the attack happened all at once.

The creature flew from the shadows with a force she could not have expected from its massive body. Agile limbs like that of a spider’s ripped forward to snatch Savage from her side and drag him into a fight, the echoes of screams and broken laughs piercing against rusted metal and the smell of loose soil.

Xena froze as she watched the struggle, her body shaking in terror as she watched Savage fight the being. The tug on her heart and her mind was now giving her a headache as it bit its teeth into her skin. Into her blood and very heart as though it were trying to rip it straight from her chest. Her limbs shook as her breath picked up and that medallion around his neck glowed, glowed GLOWED with every tug until-

His face was revealed, worn with hunger and madness as his eyes were filled with nothing but the dark. When Savage spoke, he fled, backwards into the cave with screams that ached on her ears and nonsensical blabbering that signaled just how far he had fallen.

Oh hear heart tugged.

And oh her heart hurt.

Savage moved forward, as if to say something, but was stopped as Xena pulled herself from the shadows. He cursed something under his breath as he opened his mouth to fully warn her of her movements, but a hand upwards silenced him as she shot him a careful look. A desperate one that seemed to mimic how the tug on her heart felt. When he closed his lips, her hand fell to her side and she continued forward. Towards the web of broken shards and metals and the being that clung to it with shaking, clawing hands as he whimpered and writhed.

She was in front of him now, his taught body the same one she had loved years ago and, oh, still did. Even as the edges of starvation made his ribs shine through his dehydrated skin, the marks were the same. He was still the same.

Reaching out, her hand found his face and he froze, eyes widening in shock at the sudden close contact. She could feel his entire body trembling. Shaking like a leaf in the wind as she drew circles in patterns with her thumb and bit her lip, tilting her head to one side to examine him. His hands had, eventually, fallen to the side. They hung limply with the rest of his arms and he simply stood there, in front of her, with wide eyes that gazed into her own. She simply held his face there, close to hers...

And she smiled, weakly, but a smile.

“Maul...” She whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion, “... What did they do to you?”

He tried to form words but found nothing in them, his quiet clicking and murmurs nothing in her ears as she simply focused on his being. On his existence as the two of them stood like that. Slowly, then, a hand rose up. Reaching out to her own, he held it. His palm was cold and clammy, weak and dirtied with the ground he had been living in for... For so, so long. Too long. Her heart ached again and, this time, she felt the pull of it forward to connect with his own. Invisible threads entwined to create a whole circuitry again and, for the first time in years, she felt something close to alive.

“... Little One?” He spoke with disbelief in his tone as her nickname, gentle and unsure, fell from between his shaking mouth. She laughed then, tears in her eyes as she nodded her conformation and leaned forward.

Pressing their foreheads together brought with it the rough scrape of horn to soft flesh but she didn’t care. All she cared about now was the man in front of her, broken but alive and still there as he pressed his forehead back and something of a sob ripped from his lips, shaking and weak with appreciation for the presence of something that made him feel so complete again. He repeated her nickname over and over again. A chorus of ‘Little One’ echoed against the edges of the chambers and she didn’t dare to move herself away from him as he embraced her close.

“I’m here, love,” She gasped as tears flowed freely from her eyes, “I’m here, I’m back. I promise. I absolutely promise that I’m here.”

She only pulled away when Savage cleared his throat. The two gazed up with sharp eyes at the additional presence they had all but forgotten about.

“It’s time we leave this place,” Savage’s voice was unsure of his presence in the situation, “Unless you two are happy living here.”

Xena couldn’t stop the laugh before she turned back to Maul. Reaching out, she took his hand in her own and squeezed with a careful, reassuring grip that made him startle but focus back on her as he watched her with those angry, deep eyes.

“It’s time to go, Master Maul,” She shuddered at the use of his name on her tongue, “Will you go with us now?”

To her relief, he nodded.

----

Maul clung to her the whole ride back. His arms wrapped tightly around her form and tugging her close to his body as he nuzzled into her and she kissed at his messy face with a smile to her lips, laughing at the way his spidered limbs tickled her sides as they tried to grab and pull. To cling and absorb her into his entire form as he whispered gentle phrases of ‘mine’ and ‘little one’ in a slow chant as if to himself.

Savage’s presence wasn’t welcome to say the least. Each time he checked on the both of them. Maul would pull her closer, curling around her form like an animal as he bared his teeth with a frustrated hiss deep in his stomach. Xena could only watch with an apologetic look at their traveling companion, who was growing ever-so irritated by the feral behavior of his supposed Brother. Xena could only offer small comforts as Maul slowly released his hold on her in favor of allowing her arm up to his horns to touch and massage at their bases. It urned a lull of his head against her shoulder as he hummed.

“Maybe don’t come back until we’ve landed,” Xena mused apologetically, “He’s... territorial right now.”

“He’s not an animal.”

“At this point in his psyche? He might as well be,” Xena smiled sadly, “They broke him down so much there... Can your Mother Talzin really repair him? Make him what he was?”

“She can do it,” There was no hesitation in Savage’s voice as he nodded fiercely, “I... Will leave you two alone, then... Do you... Are you sure you’re-”

“I’m fine,” She whispered the gentle tutt as Maul’s teeth grazed her neck and then he went on to nuzzle at her again, making her reach up to continue the strokes of his horns she had offered him before. An eye cracked open and narrowed at Savage for a long, dangerous sort of moment as he pulled her close to him again and scuttled away into the darkest corner of the cargo freight he was able to locate, making Xena stifle a giggle as she watched Savage roll his eyes and give up, exiting the room for the final time until they were landed.

“Mine,” Maul cooed again, pained and choked as he let his hand reach out to touch her face, thumb petting her cheek as he admired her with almost despair-ridden eyes, “Lost... you were lost so many moons ago... So many there’s no way to count now it’s all gone and... You still pull at me. You still tug at me and are still mine. Still mine...”

Xena felt her smile grow on her lips, sad as it was, and she leaned into his touch. She kissed the palm of his hand and nuzzled at his grip until he brought her close and the two of them pressed their foreheads together once again in the darkness of the spaceship they hid away in.

It was then she kissed him. It was long and soft and careful, willing herself not to push him. Not to break him more than he was as they shared their momentary quiet in reunion and his hands held her closer with a surprised shudder at the closeness of another being after so many years. When they pulled away, she kept her head close. She kept herself near because, gods, she was not going to leave him anytime soon. Not when he was alive. Not when he was HERE.

“Yes,” Xena whispered that promise in the form of her tone as she hugged him close:

“Still yours.”

#self insert #self shipping #self ship #selfship #star wars oc #oc/canon #darth maul x oc #kinley writes #of kindness and evil #I MIGHT WRITE A SEQUEL TO THIS BASED ON WHEN HE GETS HIS SANITY BACK BUT UNTIL THEN #I WANT GIANT MAD SPIDER MAUL TO HUG ME AND NUZZLE ME AND GET ANGRY WHEN I GO ANYWHERE TY

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violethowler · 4 years

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A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

#star wars the clone wars #clone wars season 7 #thank you dave filoni #the siege of mandalore #victory and death #farewell to the clone wars #tcw spoilers #clone wars spoilers

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mattkeepsrambling · 3 years

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2020 Year In Review

What a supremely dull year. I cannot believe how little happened this year. I got into this whole mask-wearing craze that many people seem to have gotten into (except for those who are REALLY against it.) I'm so happy that all the schools decided that teaching in the building was pointless and could just as easily be done online. Things are so much easier now. The election went off without a hitch or any controversy whatsoever, and I am glad that the outgoing President was gracious and we got another peaceful transition of power. I saw so many movies this year. I stopped going to the theater, though. It was just too dark, the screen was too big and the seats too comfortable. I love being at home and being surrounded by all those distractions. I don't know how 2021 could top 2020.

Best of 2020.

In all seriousness, this year was the worst. Once the world shut down in March, I decided to make the most of it and started cataloging my media consumption (minus video games). It is something I am going to keep doing. I stopped collecting movie tickets a few years ago, and this seems like the next step. I have really enjoyed seeing all that I have consumed. The final tally is 308 movies, 58 television shows/specials, 29 audiobooks, and 43 books/graphic novels since March 18, 2020. As December went on, I had to make sure that I was finished with books, tv shows, and audiobooks before Jan. 1-you will see why when I share my spreadsheet for 2021. Here are the best that I read/watched/listened to this year with all that media. And not all of these things are new for 2020 (most are, though).

Best Movie: Host

A lot of the movies I watched this year were horror movies. You can say that I have been trying to make up for lost time. I subscribed to Shudder recently. It is a streaming service that specializes in horror and thriller movies. I subscribed to the service initially for "Host."

This movie was made during the pandemic, over a Zoom meeting. It is about five friends who do a seance and the spirit they contact. The fact that it is Zoom figures heavily into the movie; it is 57 minutes long, about the length of the free Zoom meeting.

This movie is terrific and damn scary. I have watched very few movies that have genuinely scared me. I have realized what it is that makes a good horror movie: tension. It is all over this movie. This movie uses the general concept of the Zoom meeting so well to build up tension. It doesn't have the benefit of a huge budget and the best cameras. The scenes take place on a computer screen in average rooms. That elevates sudden sounds, slight movements and makes use of darkness.

Honorable Mentions: "Soul," "Promising Young Women," "It Follows," "Hereditary," "Midsommor," "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always."

Best TV Show: Ted Lasso

Whenever I talk to other people about AppleTV+, I always mention two things. One is that at $5 a month, you don't even notice the cost. The other is that "Ted Lasso" is worth the price of a subscription.

As I have previously mentioned, the show is about an American football coach being hired to coach English football. This show is based on a one-joke series commercial for NBC Sports. Ted Lasso knows nothing about coaching football.

The commercials boil down to "look how this guy doesn't know anything about England." This should not work as a show. Years ago, ABC aired a TV show based on the Geico commercials' cavemen, and it was terrible. I should know; I watched the pilot and reviewed it for the Buffalo State Record.

"Ted Lasso" works because it is more than the commercials. Yes, they do have a lot of "fish out of water" humor, and you laugh at Ted as he navigates a new sport in a new country, but it is more than that. "Scrubs" creator Bill Lawernce is one of the people behind this show, and it shows. This show can be hilarious and then take a somber turn in no time. "Scrubs" is well known for that.

The other thing that "Ted Lasso" has going for it is boundless optimism. It is baked into the character of Ted Lasso. When the show starts, the fans hate him, the players hate him, and management tries to sabotage him at every turn. Yet, he remains committed to his job and making this team successful. He and his wife go through one of the most amicable divorces ever put on screen. It can be a little much at times, but then that divorce happens. We see Lasso, played amazingly by Jason Sudikus, lose that relentlessly positive exterior.

Those cracks show, and he becomes a much more fleshed out and complicated character. The show has been renewed for two more seasons already, and Lawernce recently said that the creative team had planned three seasons. I love this show, but I think that only three seasons will be a good thing. It means that we will get fully fleshed out arcs, and there is only a certain amount of story that the creators have to tell.

Honorable Mentions: "Fleabag Season 2," "The Clone Wars Season 7," "Harley Quinn Season 2," A Teacher," "Doom Patrol Season 2," "The Flight Attendant Season 1," "The Mandalorian Season 2."

Best Audiobook: Sapiens

This book, published in 2011, has been on my to-read list for a while. Years ago, a friend of mine told me I would like it. In its most basic synopsis, "Sapiens" is a look at how humans evolved. It looks at how we developed societies, religions, governments, and other things that made us the dominant species on the planet.

This book is fascinating. It looks at various social constructs that humanity developed and how that shapes who we have become. Most of the time, I can multitask while listening to audiobooks. I will do the dishes, replay video games, write, lesson plan, clean, or do laundry when an audiobook is playing. This is one I had to give my full attention. There were so many tidbits of information that are just riveting. I was always blown away by what I heard. Despite the topic's denseness (it is 15 hours and 17 minutes long), the audiobook was easy to listen to. It is one that I will be revisiting in the future.

Honorable Mentions: "Ahsoka," "The Graveyard Book," "Crazy is my Superpower."

Best Book: Harleen

I have been a fan of "Batman The Animated Series" forever. One of the most famous things to come out of the series that debuted in 1992 was Harley Quinn character. She started as a sidekick of The Joker. Fans loved her so much that she was given a more prominent role and one of the best backstories of anyone in Batman's rogue's gallery.

Last year DC, under their Black Label brand, released "Harleen," which presented how she went from Dr. Harleen Quinzell, the brilliant psychologist, to Harley Quinn, psychotic on-again/off-again paramour of The Joker. DC Black Label is used for a more mature mini-series, and this is a story that benefits from the freedom allowed.

The basic plot is that Dr. Quinzell gets a job at Arkham Asylum to study the criminals there for her research into their minds and develop a possible cure. Through her interviews with The Joker, she starts to develop feelings for him. The telling focuses on her background and ends with her fully committing to Joker and a life of crime.

The art by Stjepan Sejic (who also wrote it) is gorgeous. On my second read-through, I took more time to appreciate the art. I bought the issues as they came out on Comixology and read them on my iPad and loved the story and how Sejic chose to tell it. I read them on the way to and from work. With only about 10 minutes on the train, the story was my focus. When I bought the hardcover collected edition, I took my time. It is a beautiful book, and I am glad to have it in my collection.

Honorable Mentions: "One Day," "The Amber Spyglass," "High Hopes," "The Deepest Well," I Wish My Teacher Knew," "Horrorstor."

**Authors Note: I wrote most of the above before I watched "Soul" on Christmas. I have a lot to say about it, and it might have taken the top spot from "Host" (I don't think I could have picked two more different movies to take that top spot). I will have a full review out after at least one more viewing.**

These are the links for my 202 Watch List and my 2021 Spreadsheet.

Media Consumed 2020

Media Consumed 2021

If you have been following my ramblings for the last few years, you know that I don't make New Year's resolutions. I heard the idea of picking a word and working toward that word all year.

This year that word is positivity.

It is really easy to dwell on negative thoughts. In the society we live in now, there is an emphasis put on negativity. It is everywhere, and I hate it. Stop reading right now and think about the best and worst thing that has happened to you. If you are like me, the worst thing comes to mind first. Even though my job is the best thing to happen to me, and it happened in the last two years, my firing from the JCC in September of 2015 hits harder and comes faster. It took me years to get over that and years more to let go of the anger I felt.

There are many reasons why negative thoughts come easier, and I have linked to a few articles I like on the topic below. This year particularly, I have been more prone to rumination on past pain and failures. 2021 is the year I actively try to change that. When I feel a negative thought coming on, I will stop and change my line of thinking.

One concrete example I can give involves my former place of employment. I live very close to the JCC. I walk by it all the time, and I can effortlessly start down the negativity rabbit hole. I am not doing that anymore. I will redirect to the good things that happened there. I am doing that with other places I have negative associations with as well. I want to focus on the positive, think positive thoughts, take positive actions, do things for myself and others that help perpetuate the positive.

I want to weed out negativity in my life whenever I can. Even something as simple as doing the dishes every night before bed (which I started six months ago) is a step in the positive direction. I know this is going to be tough. I despise teaching virtually, and it is what I will be doing for the rest of this school year. But, as much as I hate it, I need to focus on the good moments and less on the bad ones. I will have to stop calling everyone I see outside without a mask a "maskhole" in my head and assuming they are a right-wing MAGA hat-wearing idiot (as I said, it's going to be hard). There is too much negativity in the world right now, and I don't want to contribute to that.

Why Do Negative Thoughts Come to Mind

Is Dwelling on Negative Thoughts Hurting You?

Why Do We Dwell on The Past?

Why Do We Keep Dwelling on Our Mistakes?

The past few years, I have tried to have my word of the year relate to my writing. This year it was a little harder. It was not as straight forward as it has in the past. The choice of positivity was made because there have been so many awful things happening this year that I felt I needed to change my mindset. In regards to my writing, I am keeping it simple: Write something every single day. This heart doc I know motivated me to make this a goal.

I want to write more and find out where "Escape" will end up. I have an idea notebook I will bring with me to jot down inspiration whenever it hits. I am blocking out time every day to write, either something I will post here or just something for me.

Thanks for sticking with me 2,000 words. I hope you all had a great holiday season, and I wish you well in 2021.

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tinuviel-undomiel · 7 years

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Black Pearls and Glass Walls: A Glimmer of Hope

@betweenpaperpages said:

Black Pearls: Bae spends a day with Belle and she ends up learning a bit more about Gold through his son.

@betweenpaperpages said:

Black Pearls: Gold takes on the task of preparing Belle's meals for her personally.

Also found on AO3

Belle’s first day in the very tiny sea was very strange. The big glass house she was in was nothing like the ocean or the glass sea she was in before. She could see tall plants that sprung out from the ground like coral, but were big and green like seaweed. She wondered if they tasted as good as seaweed, but wasn’t sure if it would be right to ask to try one. Bae had stayed with her while Gold had made arrangements for their dinner.

Bae had taken off his clothes and was wearing odd colored shorts with fish on them. He eagerly sat down in the tiny sea with her. He took a little black stick and pointed it at a black box on the wall. “Want to watch some TV while papa gets the pizza?”

“What is tee-vee?” she asked.

“Oh it’s the best!” he declared, “It’s like…well it’s basically…” he scrunched up his face and then shrugged, “I don’t know how to describe it. I’ll just show you.”

He pushed something on the stick and the black box suddenly went very bright. Belle gasped when she saw humans appear in the box. They were so little, like clown fish and guppies, but they functioned like everyone else.

“Who are they?” Belle asked. She tried to move closer to see better, but that jarred her tail and she winced at the flash of pain.

“Oh, that’s Obi Wan Kenobi,” Bae said, “He’s a Jedi Master, and that is Anakin Skywalker. Right now he’s a Jedi Knight, but later he’s going to be a Sith Lord and kill everyone.”

Belle blinked at him, surprised by the nonchalant way he talked about a mass murderer, though how she knew this Anakin person was going to kill people she had no idea. Then the oddest creature she ever saw appeared in the box. The person sounded like a woman, but Belle couldn’t be sure because she had no hair. Instead she had two tentacles on her head, similar to an octopus. However, she was brightly colored like a cuttle fish, all blues, whites, and orangey-red. “What sort of human is that?”

“Oh, that’s Ahsoka Tano,” Bae told her, “She’s a Togruta actually.”

“What is that?”

“An alien.”

Belle stared back at the screen. “Al-ee-on? I don’t understand? And why are they so flat?”

“Oh, because this is a cartoon.”

“What is that?” she asked. Apparently there was a lot more to tee-vee than she had originally thought.

“Well it’s not with real people. They are fake.”

“Fake people?” Belle asked, “Like plastic?”

“Uh…well…”

“And how do they get into the box? Are they comfortable in there?”

“Um…” Bae looked up when the door opened. “Papa! You’re here! Can you explain TV to Belle for me?”

“I never understood the attraction for it like you have, Bae,” Gold said. The big man with the shiny head had two flat boxes with words on them, but Belle didn’t understand PIZZA what meant. Still, whatever it was, it smelt good. Gold had a tray and she saw that it was heaped with clams, seaweed, and even shrimp. “I, uh, thought you might be hungry too,” Gold said.

“Yes I am,” she said.

Bae climbed out of the tiny sea, scampering over to get some pizza from the shiny man. Gold carefully set the tray of her food beside her. She also noticed that the shiny man had a basket under one arm that had plastic bottles inside of it. Some of the bottles had water, but others had strange dark liquid inside. Bae eagerly took one of those bottles and twisted the top. There was a strange hiss that emitted from the bottle, something similar to the sound of lava seeping out from a fissure in the ocean.

“What is that?” she asked Gold.

“Just a soda,” he told her, “Normally I insist he have something healthier, but I figured today was a special occasion.”

“Soda?” Belle looked at it as Bae settled back beside her with his pizza on a paper disk and the bottle of the brown beverage. The color wasn’t particularly appealing, but she could see it was full of bubbles, which was very perplexing. Bae grinned and held up the bottle for her. “You want to try it?”

She’d always been fascinated by human food, though the pizza looked better than this. However, she rationalized that if it was a treat for Bae, it could hardly be harmful for her. She took the bottle, surprised by how wet and cold it was and gingerly took a sip. The liquid was cold and the way it moved across her tongue was very odd. The bubbles were pleasant though and it had a strange sweetness to it. It was strange, but not in a bad way. Another sip satisfied her that it was quite delicious.

She enjoyed the food Gold had brought for her. He’d even been thoughtful enough to crack open the clamshells. Neither of them were interested in trying her food, but Bae offered her a bite of his pizza. The white stuff on top was something called “cheese” while the round red things were “pepperoni”. Gold’s pizza had even more things on top of it, but Bae said they were gross. The pizza wasn’t bad, but it was so hot it burnt her mouth. The water helped in that regard.

Bae was absolutely fascinated by the TV, but Belle couldn’t understand any of it. The strange humans and aliens were utterly perplexing, not to mention the strange boats they used that flew like birds but looked nothing like the planes she had seen. The colorful sticks they used to attack one another was beyond comprehension.

“I suppose this doesn't make much sense to you,” Gold said to her, waving in the direction of the TV.

She took another clam and shook her head. “What do you do for play?” she asked.

“Fun you mean?” she nodded in response. “I’m afraid I’m not nearly as sociable or active as my son. I find reading far more pleasurable.”

“Reading?”

“Books,” he told her, “stories or writings that are made up or based on true events.”

Belle’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Like conchs!”

Gold frowned at her. “What?”

“We capture our stories in conchs. Then we listen to them. We have some wonderful tellers under the sea. They tell our history, or even just adventures of our legends.”

He smiled at her. “I understand. That sounds fascinating. Perhaps I can find you some audio books so you can enjoy some of our stories.”

Belle nodded eagerly. “I would enjoy very much.”

Gold helped Dove clean things up, leaving her alone with Bae again and this “Clone Wars” show he was so interested in. Belle watched Gold limp away with the empty bottles and her tray. She remembered seeing him wounded, blood leaking out of his ankle, the water turning red because of it. He never seemed bothered by the injury, but she saw how much little Bae scampered around. It couldn’t be easy.

“Does your father…okay with his leg?” she asked.

“Does it bother him?” Bae asked and she nodded. He shrugged. “No, not really. I mean, he said that he was lucky to be alive, so there was no point in being upset that he escaped with a bad ankle.”

Belle smiled over that. She was glad Gold wasn’t sad that he couldn’t run or walk the way he used too. As Belle looked over at her bandaged tail, she couldn’t help but wonder if she could accept her lot in life so easily if she could never swim again.

“Thank you for saving him,” Bae said.

“You thank me before,” Belle reminded him.

“Yeah, but you did more than save his life. You made him…better,” Bae said. She frowned at him, not sure how nearly drowning would be good for anyone. “Before the accident, he was always working. I just wanted to spend time with him, but he was too busy. But then…I don’t know, he just changed when he got back. He left his job and actually spent more time with me.”

Bae then moved over and put his arms around her, pressing his face into her shoulder. Belle stared down into his hair for a moment. Merfolk were affectionate, but she didn’t know humans would do this as well. Her father had always said humans were cold and never cared about any species but themselves. Carefully, she put her arms around him as well, pulling him tightly to her slowly. Bae didn’t mind though. He just hugged her back more.

“Thanks for giving me my papa back,” he said.

Belle smiled into her hair, blinking back the tears in her eyes. It was strange, but she wished her father could see this right now. Maybe he could finally make peace with what happened to her mother and why they had both hoped for more than solitude in the sea.

#black pearls and glass walls #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #tinny writes fics #mer belle

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sjwerewolfinc-blog · 7 years

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Indelible

I don’t usually publish fanfic on Tumblr but why not, let’s give it a shot. Rating: Explicit Summary: Anakin is a tattoo artist by profession. But some clientele are looking for more than just a tattoo. As a powerful caster from a long-standing clan, he offers a different sort of mark for those who need it. Obi-Wan is running from a dark coven intent on exploiting him for his gifts. He definitely needs Anakin's services. Anakin couldn’t stand the typical weekend night crowds that flooded his shop. Frat boys wanting greek symbols and sorority girls asking for cherries or chinese characters they didn’t understand. He hated it, but it paid the bills. He’d been gifted with two things in life. An understanding of cars and an understanding of how to put ink into skin.

He’d chosen the latter as his profession, becoming a certified tattoo artist at the age of 20. His maternal grandfather, Yoda, had drawn with him since he was a little boy and his mom had to work late shifts. He’d also, much to his mother’s chagrin, taught him magic. His mother was gifted with the craft as well but she rarely used it and didn’t approve of her son occasionally using it as part of his job. But sometimes something under his skin itched and he had to let it out. Sure he could work a spell at home like a normal witch or sorcerer, but his favorite outlet was imbuing his gift into permanent artwork. Such opportunities didn’t come along often but when they did they were always rewarding.

The shop was just about to close after another long Saturday night when an unusual patron walked in. He was more upper class than the usual clientele. His neat auburn hair and beard a dead giveaway. Anakin figured he was looking for more than the typical flash piece.

“What can I do for you?” He asked, not particularly interested.

“I was hoping for a symbol of protection.” The ginger stranger replied. So he was one of Them. The magical community looking for enhancements.

“What kind of protection and for what kind of caster?” Anakin asked, knowing only he and Ahsoka were left in the small shop.

“A comprehensive kind for a diviner. I’m willing to pay, of course.” The posh tones spoke of a man used to getting his way. “I was thinking a sigil of the moon.”

Anakin raised his eyebrows. That was powerful protection, indeed. “One session?” he asked.

“Yes. As soon as possible.” The man must have been running from something strong and fast.

“I can help you. But it won’t be cheap.”

“I would expect no less.” The man produced a handful of coins and thread, more valuable than cash. Anakin locked the door, flipped the ‘Closed’ sign, and turned off all the lights except the one in the back room. He gestured for the man to follow him

“What wards do you need? I have to know to work the spells.” He got his client situated in the backroom, Ahsoka looking on in curiosity.

“She’s my apprentice,” he said of the dark skinned girl. “She’s one of our kind. What do you need?”

“Conflation. To make my enemies think I’m somewhere else. And protection from a powerful enemy should they find me.”

“Any elemental preference?” Anakin asked.

“Water.” The man responded. At least he wasn’t an idiot. Using any other element with a moon sigil would have weakened the spell.

“Alright, backroom, take your shirt off. I’ll get my inks ready.”

Anakin wouldn’t admit it to many people but he lived for this. The magical aspect of ink. He had the ability to transfer magical intent into a kind of magic that only came about by mixing blood and skin with blessed ink. It was a powerful and deep kind of alchemy. He could leave permanent magic in people. Blessings, protections, wards against enemies...he had the power for it within his veins, and for a select few clients he could pass his gifts on, the magic just as permanent as the ink.

“What’s your name?” he asked as he shaved his client’s back down with a simple razor.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“That’s a good name. An old one.” Magical circles were small enough that name recognition wasn’t uncommon. Magic seemed to pass genetically in almost all cases.

“Maybe it used to be,” the man muttered. Anakin closed his eyes and willed the most effective lunar sigil for the case to come to his mind. Once he saw the image, he used a tracing pen on Obi-Wan’s skin, the mark going directly between his shoulder blades. For magical tattoos free hand was the only way that really worked for him. The stencil was an unnecessary middleman.

“Take a look in the mirror before we make it permanent,” he told his client. As the shirtless man walked to the mirror in the back, Anakin appreciated that he was fairly attractive. Toned but not overly muscular and with a dignified manner that made Anakin curious about chasing that put-together aura out the window. He reminded himself that this was a client in need of serious protection and not here to be ogled.

“It’s good,” the man said, returning to the chair that Ahsoka had sanitized. Anakin washed his hands and put on his gloves, applying a thin layer of Vaseline to the area.

“Have you ever been tattooed before?” Anakin asked. The man’s perfect unblemished skin seemed to be begging for it.

“No. But I can handle pain.” Was the stoic reply.

“Alright. But if you need to take a break, tell me. People who forget to breathe through the pain tend to pass out, and then it’s a whole thing for me to deal with.” The man laughed a bit at Anakin’s pseudo-sarcasm and the artist appreciated the sound.

The sigil was a geometric pattern inside a sphere, with small symbols representing certain lunar phases. The ancient symbols of waning stages represented what was hidden, and the strategically placed waxing symbols would grant strength if confronted by an enemy. He’d use black and dark blue inks, blending them to invoke the element of water.

Ahsoka came in to sit and watch Anakin enchant the inks. He brought them out from the locked and warded cupboard he kept magical supplies in. He had to make them himself, including substances like mountain ash leaves and juniper stems, which had been collected from his garden at certain times of night and burned to fine ash. The pigments had to be carefully created to be as powerful as possible.

He poured some black pigment into a large cap, then the blue. Finally he mixed a white paste with the blue ink to create a color that would accent and enhance the design. He used his favorite tattoo machine, the one he’d made himself and meticulously cleaned only a few moments ago.

The inks laid out, Anakin focused his energy on them. He chanted softly and kept an image in his mind of how perfectly the sigil and colors would sit with the man’s skin and spirit. How lunar energies could keep things hidden in their shadows and provide a refuge for those in need. And if need be, use those shadows to defeat enemies. The words were old and a combination of languages. The Slavic tongue his mother and grandfather used as well as some latin mixed in. He could feel his energy waking the inks up, how they wanted to be of use and serve their purpose. When he opened his eyes he found his client turned around to look at him.

“You’re quite powerful,” the bearded man said plainly.

“Hm. My grandfather says I have too much. That’ll it’ll eventually attract bad things my way. But not using it feels horrible after a while. Like being stuck in a cell.”

“I know the feeling,” Obi-Wan said softly. Anakin pulled a chair up behind his client as Obi-Wan straddled his own. For the placement this position would be easiest on both their backs. Ahsoka pulled her own chair up to watch.

“Snips, could you make sure the salve is ready for when we’re done? He’ll need to take some with him.”

“The comfrey stuff?” Ahsoka clarified.

“Yup. Practice your Healing intent on it.”

“Sure thing, Skyguy.” He felt a bit bad for Ahsoka. She was dealing with finals at her high school and was exhausted. She probably could have used the extra hours of sleep, but it had been a while since they had a magical request and she needed to learn.

He pressed the pedal that made his machine buzz to life and started in. He focused on Obi-Wan and on transferring his magic to this living canvas. Thoughts of protection, security, safety from ill-intent flooded his mind for the first part of the tattoo. He always lost himself like this. Time slipped away and became something you couldn’t measure with a clock or even words. He wiped as blood welled up, dipping his machine into the pigments again and continuing to leave magic grounded in skin. He pulled back, the first part of the tattoo which centered on protection was done. He’d have to take a break to recenter his intent.

“Quick break,” he told his client. “We’re almost halfway done.” Obi-Wan stood and turned around and looked startled when he saw Anakin.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Anakin assured his client. “It’s supposed to happen.” He was referring to his own tattoos, some of which only became visible when he practiced magic. He had one under his right eye, a thick red line that dropped into a curve at the end. There was also a fire sigil on the front of his neck that sometimes flickered as though caught in the light of a camp fire. His eyes were also likely changed. He knew that they filmed over and reds, oranges, and greys moved across them like particularly upset clouds in a stormy sky.

“I take it that fire is your element?” The man offered a half smile.

“It is,” Anakin said, stretching and holstering his machine. “But don’t worry. When it comes to blood and ink I can work with any element. I just need a few minutes to channel a different kind of energy for the power ups in case you’re found. There’s water in that mini fridge if you want it.”

The man nodded his thanks and Anakin sat in his chair in a semi-meditative state. He could feel power in his client and drew on it as well as his own to focus on the aggressive side of the piece. He thought of Obi-Wan being in danger and instilled a fierce sense of retaliation against anyone who would hurt him. Once he was ready he had the man sit back down and he resumed.

“You must make quite a living off of your craft,” his client commented.

“No. I don’t take every request for a magical tattoo. Not even most, actually. If I did half the practitioners in this town would be running around with elemental runes and sigils to attract love. Just as bad as all shitty flash out there and worse because it’s powerful.”

Obi-Wan huffed at that. “So why did you accept my request?”

Anakin finished on of the battle sigils. “You’re genuine. This isn’t personal gain for you, it’s a tool in a survival kit. I don’t always read intents particularly well but you seemed honest. And I can read intent once I’m working with someone’s skin. So now I know you’re honest.” He paused after that. “And you’re not bad looking, which doesn’t hurt.” He couldn’t see Obi-Wan’s face but he knew he smiled at that.

There wasn’t much talking after that. Anakin had finished the bulk of the piece, and now it was just the accented lighter blue left.

He changed needles and began shading around the thicker outlines of the piece, creating soft swirls that offset the black and dark blue shapes. He wiped his client’s back one more time and leaned back.

“Okay, you’re all set. Just sit like that for about ten more minutes. I wanna let it bleed a bit and then Ahsoka will get you set up with salve and bandaging.

Anakin walked around so he could dispose of his inks and take his machine to the back for cleaning later. He snapped his black gloves off and tossed the in the hazardous waste bin along with the paper towels and anything else that had come into contact with blood or plasma. He could feel Obi-Wan’s eyes on him the whole time.

Anakin didn’t know what prompted it but he felt compelled to ask. “Are you safe for tonight?”

“Safer now than I was a couple of hours ago. I’ve been staying in a hotel and haven’t noticed anything strange there.”

“A hotel?” Anakin scoffed. For the kind of protection he’d paid for in the tattoo he needed to be somewhere safer than a hotel. “You could stay with us. Whatever is after you is serious. A hotel is no place for you to be with that kind of trouble.”

“No, I can’t risk you being in danger. You’ve already done enough by working such powerful magic for me. If the man chasing me is here, he could have felt it.”

“Then I’d be a target anyway. You may as well stay somewhere with real wards. Ahsoka and I have a small house just outside the city and a couch that pretty comfortable. Plus you might need help applying salve to your own back for a few days.” Anakin noticed how tired Obi-Wan looked suddenly. He’d clearly been on the run for some time. “Come on. Home cooked meals and better magical protection. At least for a day or two. Our kind has to look out for each other.”

“Alright, I suppose it would be nice to rely on more than traveler’s wards. Thank you, it’s very kind of you.”

Anakin grinned. “No problem. Oh, and I didn’t tell you my name. Anakin Skywalker,” he said, pulling a new trash bag out. “Nice to meet you.” He smiled at the ginger man. “And this is Ahsoka Tano.” The girl smiled tiredly and pushed her braids behind her ear, approaching Obi-Wan with the salve.

Anakin inspected it. “Nice job, Snips. This has a really good energy.”

“Duh. I do know how to make healing salves after over a year of being your apprentice.”

“I love you too,” he smiled back. Ahsoka put on a glove and spread the salve over the fresh tattoo. Then she used paper towels and saran wrap to create a temporary bandage. “You can take that off after a couple hours. It’s really to prevent blood and plasma from getting on everything you touch and minimizing risk for infection. Ahsoka and I can follow you to your hotel if you need to get your stuff.”

Obi-Wan nodded and the two artists got to shutting down the shop. Anakin noticed as Obi-Wan exited the hotel that he didn’t have much. Just one suitcase.

“Are you sure about taking in someone who’s on the run?” Ahsoka asked.

“I have a good feeling about him. Plus I took you in,” he grinned. Ahsoka had to give him that.

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Obi-Wan wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing as he followed Anakin and Ahsoka down the highway. What if they told people about him? What if they wanted to use him for his abilities? Though someone as powerful as Anakin likely wouldn’t have need of them. Even as they’d left the shop the man’s eyes looked like a grey sky with red clouds. It was so otherworldly and frankly beautiful. Ahsoka had told him that when Anakin worked strong magic that happened. He usually had to go for a run or a work out in order for the energy to dissipate. Or as she’d insinuated, other activities would do the trick. He was a bit troubled that someone as young as Ahsoka was romantically involved with her employer but it was none of his business.

Perhaps he’d get some actual sleep tonight. These days his sleep was plagued with nightmares of the syndicate chasing him. He was running not just from one man in particular, but that man’s coven. They dealt exclusively in dark magic and they wanted Obi-Wan. And there was another catch. What if Anakin and Ahsoka found out that he wasn’t just a diviner? Diviners and seers weren’t particularly uncommon in their community. But Obi-Wan was a blood mage. If he had a sample of someone’s blood he could manipulate them. He wouldn’t, of course, but he could. And words written in his blood were more powerful than runes or sacrifices in spell work. The fact that his blood had magical properties also gave him visions from time to time of events that could sometimes be prevented or encouraged. Frankly he hated what he was. It had never brought him anything but trouble. He’d rather be an elemental caster like Anakin and Ahsoka. Or nothing at all. Just a normal person with a job and a family. And now the leader of a dark coven wanted him for his power. He’d seen in visions what the man wanted. To torture him, use his blood, convince him to become dark and gain power for them. He’d die first.

Pulling his thoughts together he noticed they were approaching their destination. Finally, after many dark and winding side roads, Anakin’s car pulled up in front of a modest two story wooden home. Obi-Wan could feel the powerful protective wards and shields everywhere. He followed the artists up the small set of steps, suitcase in hand. Anakin keyed open the door and turned on the lights.

“It’s not much but it’s home.” He said, sweeping his arm out. There was a living room with a large but beaten looking couch and a small kitchen behind it. “The bathroom is down that hallway. My room is at the end of it. Ahsoka’s room is upstairs along with a second bathroom. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen whenever you want. Though I’m going whip up some stir fry if you want any.”

The interior was warm and welcoming. It spoke of being well lived in but not neglected. There were pictures on the walls of Anakin and a woman that looked to be his mother. He assumed the small elderly man was his grandfather. There were some of him and Ahsoka, his arm around her and her often making faces at him.

He cleaned up in the bathroom and went back to the kitchen to see if he could be of use for dinner, late as it was. Ahsoka was already at the small dinner table, SAT prep books and chemistry notes spread about. Was Anakin in a relationship with a high schooler?!

Ahsoka looked up. “Hey, do you happen to know anything about trigonometry? I have a test in a couple days.”

Obi-Wan usually prided himself on having tact but he found the words coming out of his mouth of their own accord. “Are the two of you dating?”

Ahsoka stared at him and burst into peals of laughter. He could also hear Anakin’s amused huffs as he chopped vegetables.

“I promise, I don’t date minors,” Anakin said, grinning at him.

“Anakin took me in,” Ahsoka said. “Our families were in the same community growing up. But then my dad did something unforgivable and was banished. My mom couldn’t handle it so she bailed. I was thirteen and Anakin was nineteen and already a tattoo apprentice with a caster. He caught me trying to break into a place nearby one night.”

“My mom and grandfather were off traveling and I was already living on my own,” Anakin added. “This place was my dad’s and he willed it to me. So I told Ahsoka she could crash with me. Eventually we pulled some strings and my mom became her legal guardian, even though they’d never met.”

“But Skyguy’s my actual guardian. I mean he’s the one who technically took me in and made sure I was going to school and eating. Then I started hanging around his shop and decided that I wanted to be a tattoo artist, too.”

Obi-Wan felt foolish though relieved as well. “I apologize for my assumption. I just wanted to make sure that no one was being taken advantage of.”

“It’s fine,” Anakin smiled. “Wanna help chop some of these vegetables up?” Obi-Wan complied readily. They worked in an easy silence, Ahsoka studying and Anakin and himself making food. Anakin seasoned the vegetable and rice in a way that smelled fantastic. “Ahsoka, can you clean the table off so we can eat on it?” He asked his charge, who grumbled good naturedly but did so.

Anakin poured wine for himself and Obi-Wan as they all sat down to eat. The food was simple but it was the best Obi-Wan had had in a long time. Afterwards Ahsoka yawned and headed upstairs for bed. Obi-Wan insisted on cleaning up but Anakin pointed out he’d helped cook, so they’d both do it. When dinner was cleaned up Obi-Wan was given a clean towel and instructions to wash his tattoo with unscented soap.

However as soon as he was in the bathroom with his shirt off, he realized his problem. “Um, Anakin?” he called out. The tall man was instantly in the doorway, eyes still looking inhuman. He grinned and gestured for Obi-Wan to turn around. He gently undid the bandaging and and pulled the wrap and paper towels off, tying them off in a trash bag.

“Need help washing this?” With Anakin’s full height and deep voice just behind him, Obi-Wan had to fight the thrill of want that went through his body. He collected his dignity as best he could.

“Yes, I don’t think I can reach.”

“Okay, sit on the edge.” Obi-Wan sat on the edge of the tub as Anakin turned the shower head on. He got to a warm temperature before directing it at Obi-Wan’s back. Anakin’s warm hands soothed the liquid soap down his back and Obi-Wan had to close his eyes at how good it felt. All too soon Anakin stood. “Did you uh, need me to leave so you can take a full shower?”

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and knew they probably looked glazed. “Yes, after hotels and sleeping in my car, I’d like to take a full shower.”

Anakin nodded and was gone, the bathroom door closed. Obi-Wan sighed. He was in trouble.

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In his room, Anakin berated himself for getting so close. ‘Oh sure, invite the stranger on the run home because you think he’s hot. Then practically give him a bath. As if someone like him wants anything to do with a caster who spends his energy on tattoos.’ The guy was polished, handsome, intelligent, and polite. He could have anyone he wanted. Anakin seemed to only attract people who were more into his profession than they were into him. There’d only been one person in his life who didn’t treat him like a free tattoo connection and he’d taken off the second he realized that Anakin wasn’t just a guy who thought Wicca was cool, but that he cast actual spells and his eyes sometimes didn’t look normal. In fact Ferus had arrived unannounced at his house while Anakin had been working a consecration spell on the garden, seen his eyes, yelled something about him being demonic, and he’d never seen him again. Ahsoka said she never like the asshole anyway and how was Anakin supposed to really trust anyone if they couldn’t handle a simple spell?

Obi-Wan could clearly handle a lot, which made it all the more unfair that he was almost certainly unattainable. Anakin heard the shower shut off and Obi-Wan emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of sweatpants Anakin had loaned him and nothing else. “You should air dry,” Anakin said. “The tattoo, I mean, let it air dry and then I’ll put more salve on it. I can make tea while it dries, to encourage healing.” ‘God, smooth, real smooth, Skywalker’, he thought.

He took the infuser in the kitchen and made quick work of brewing an herbal tea. He kept it on hand with as clumsy as he and Ahsoka could be. His guest accepted a cup and the sat in the quiet kitchen.

“I really can’t thank you enough,” Obi-Wan said, breaking the silence. “You’ve done so much for me and you had no reason to trust me.”

“Mom always taught me to do right be people. Especially people who need a little help.”

“It shows in you,” Obi-Wan smiled. People strong in the fire element were rumored to be quick tempered, unpleasant, and manipulative. But Anakin had always taken pride in breaking stereotypes.

“We should get that salve on you so you can get some sleep,” Anakin said. “Come on, I keep a ton of it in my room.” He led Obi-Wan back down the hallway and into his bedroom. It was a pretty simple room, if cluttered with drawings. He had a large sketch pad up on an easel and charcoals laid out seemingly everywhere. Drawings he was still working on were taped to the walls. Some of them magical in nature but many of them portraits, still lifes of flowers, animals mid motion or profiles of wolves and large cats. Some were marked with client names and dates. Anakin watched as Obi-Wan made his way to a charcoal portrait of Ahsoka he was working on.

“You’re incredibly talented,” Obi-Wan said. “I mean with magic, obviously, but you’re a very gifted artist.” Anakin tried not to blush and failed.

“Thanks. I’ve only been good at a few things in my life. I was lucky to be able to make a living at it.” He dug through his nightstand for the salve, purposefully pushing the lube to the back of the drawer.

“I very much doubt it’s luck. Not many people in the world share your skill set. And you’ve clearly put in long hours to perfect your artistry.” Anakin pulled a jar of the comfrey salve out and unscrewed the lid. He looked up and caught Obi-Wan staring at him. The man wasn’t just looking but actually staring. Oh, right, his eyes.

“I know the eye thing puts people off. By tomorrow they’ll be back to normal though,” he stammered. He brushed his hair behind his ear self-consciously.

“No, I’m sorry for staring. It’s just they’re quite beautiful.” Oh. No one had ever said that about his eyes when they were sparking restlessly with the remnants of magic. And Obi-Wan was still looking at him, his pale skin a bit flushed. Gods, did he, did he want Anakin? Well, fire was the element of rash decisions, as his mother always reminded him.

He approached the older man Obi-Wan didn’t back away or make an excuse. Anakin stood toe to toe with him, looking down slightly because of his height and then he ducked down that last little bit and pressed his lips against Obi-Wan’s. It wasn’t forceful but it wasn’t a gentle touch either. It was insistent, sure of Anakin’s intent.

He was about to pull away, ready to assure the man that he would never expect physical comfort in exchange for shelter when Obi-Wan put a hand in his hair and kissed back. He felt the man’s tongue against his lips and gladly opened, moaning as a hot tongue slid into his mouth. Anakin put an arm around Obi-Wan’s waist and gently walked them back to his bed. He sat down on the edge, tugging the auburn haired man down with him. “You don’t have to,” Anakin panted out as Obi-Wan’s hands went under the hem of his black t shirt.

There was a tug of teeth on his lower lip at that. “I know,” he said. “I just very much want to.” And there was no arguing with that. Anakin helped get his own shirt off and attacked the man’s neck, working his way from ear to shoulder, mouth hot and tongue sliding over where teeth scraped. He felt Obi-Wan moan and push him back onto the bed. Obi-Wan was gazing at his chest, fingers reaching out to touch the tattoos there.

A large phoenix covered most of Anakin’s right side, from hip bone just underneath his armpit. A stylized fox sat on his right pectoral, curled in sleep under stars that covered his collar bone. His own sigil of protection reached from the middle of his left collarbone down to just above his navel. It was a complicated geometric pattern in blacks and reds, meant to enhance power and his ability to protect his loved ones. He’d had it done just after Ahsoka had officially become part of his family. There were other, smaller marks scattered about his chest. Some he’d done himself and others were from friends. Mostly small runes, brief incantations that only those raised by magic folk would know. And that was just his torso. Obi-Wan had already seen his arms which were fully saturated by ink.

“So beautiful,” Obi-Wan murmured, tracing the fire sigil down his body with two fingers. Having another magic user touching him like that felt incredible. He could feel the lines and colors hum approvingly along his body. It was a very new and very appreciated experience. He pulled Obi Wan into another kiss and onto his lap. Gods, they were both already hard. He ran his nails lightly down that pale chest, then moved up to bite at already peaked nipples. Obi-Wan tugged his hair at that and fuck it was good. He was mindful of the fresh ink between the man’s shoulder blades but thoroughly enjoyed licking and sucking at his chest.

When Obi-Wan returned the favor Anakin groaned and made to get his pants off as soon as possible. He wanted to take his time but the magic from his work earlier demanded a release soon, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get another chance to be with this man. With little effort they were both naked and it was Anakin’s turn to admire his partner. He sucked marks into the chest as Obi-Wan groaned and pulled at his hair so perfectly. He moved his hands down until they brushed at the erect cock. He suddenly very much needed to have that in his mouth. Standing, he pulled Obi-Wan to the edge of the bed and got on his knees.

“Oh, Anakin,” the man moaned, pupils blown at the sight of him on his knees. If that wasn’t hot Anakin wasn’t sure what was. He started with the base of the man’s cock, slowly sliding up it, sucking at parts of it along the way. He swirled his tongue around the head and started taking the length in earnest, using his tongue to keep the cock wet, letting his saliva move down it and make it easier. Obi-Wan was panting and swearing and Anakin reached down to tease his own erection. He loved the weight against his tongue and he wanted to swallow around the man again and again.

Suddenly the hands in his hair were tugging him up. Anakin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, concerned. “Not what you like?” he asked.

“No, it was perfect too good. But that’s not how I want to come.”

He stood partially and pressed a filthy, open mouthed kiss to his partner’s lips. “How do you want to come?” He was pretty sure he’d let this man do just about anything he wanted to him.

“I want to fuck you,” he said bluntly, eyes and voice dark. And Anakin was so on board with that plan. He could barely the remember the last time he’d had anything in him that wasn’t his dildo.

He scrambled around in the bedside drawer and found the lube. “Shit! I don’t have any condoms. It’s uh, it’s been awhile,” he said.

Obi-Wan took the lube and gave him a serious look. “I don’t have any either. But I can tell you that I’ve been tested recently and I’m clean. But it’s up to you. You’d be taking the larger risk.”

“I’m clean,” Anakin nodded, leaning in for another kiss. “I work with needles so I get tested every three months in case. Hasn’t been anyone since then.” Obi-Wan nodded and brought him back for a lengthy kiss. He took the bottle of lube from Anakin and pushed the younger man back against the pillows. Coating his fingers he left his own marks on Anakin’s chest as one of his fingers circled gently around the tight entrance. Once he Anakin relaxed, he felt Obi-Wan’s index finger slide in, and the man moved down his body to tease his cock with small licks. Anakin groaned and placed the flats of his feet on the mattress, giving his partner better access. Then there was a second finger and it burned a bit but it was so worth it. For long minutes Obi-Wan just played with him like that, scissoring his fingers, licking at his cock and balls until Anakin thought he could just die like that and be happy.

Then Obi-Wan prodded a bit, curled his fingers slightly and Anakin shouted in pleasure. He wanted to touch himself but he didn’t want Obi-Wan’s mouth to go anywhere. A third finger stretched him and fuck, he just needed the man’s cock inside him right now.

“Just a bit more patience,” Obi-Wan murmured, laughing a bit. Anakin protested but all he could manage was a thrust of his hips and and a something that sounded like “un”. Then the man was pushing his hair back from his face and lining himself up. He pushed in gently, the first ring of muscle protesting a bit but the pain was so perfect.

“Alright?” Obi-Wan asked. He appreciated the concern but he needed more than concern.

“Want you to fuck me hard,” Anakin ground out. He knew his eyes but be dark grey and red now but he didn’t care. “I need it so much.” The magic was pushing him and he didn’t care if he was begging. Hell, Obi-Wan seemed to like it. His partner withdrew and pushed back in hard, causing Anakin to cry out and buck his hips again. He wrapped his ankles around the man’s lower back, digging his nails in hard.

“Is this what you need?” Obi-Wan demanded, pounding in again, cock brushing Anakin’s prostate.

“Yes, yes,” was all he could manage. Obi-Wan changed the angle of his hips a bit and started fucking him in earnest, hard and hot and so perfect. He was so hard it hurt and god he didn’t think he’d ever been fucked like this when he really needed it. “Love it, so good,” he said against Obi-Wan’s skin.

Obi-Wan was just as gone as he was, fingers leaving bruises in his hips and looking up at him, Anakin knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. The sight of the composed man, lost in passion while he could feel his cock filling him up was hot as hell. He felt his orgasm building and knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He wrapped his own hand around his leaking shafted and started pumping. He didn’t scream as he came but it was a near thing. His vision went white for a moment as he felt his body let go of the energy magic it had been holding for too long.

He didn’t realize it but he must have passed out for a moment. When he opened his eyes Obi-Wan was sitting beside him, pressing a cool cloth to his forehead. He moaned happily at the sensation of cum running out of him.

“Are you alright?” The grey-green eyes were concerned but he caught the edge of smugness and grinned up at him.

“I’m very good,” he laughed, standing to go clean himself properly in the bathroom. When he came back Obi-Wan already had his sweatpants back on. “You should sleep here,” he smiled widely. “I have an extra comforter and it’s nicer than the couch.”

Obi-Wan laughed and got into bed.

“What’s so funny?” Anakin asked, feigning indignance.

“You look practically stoned,” his bedmate laughed.

“It’s an endorphin thing after the magic releases,” he murmured, instructing Obi-Wan to turn over so he could apply the salve to his tattoo.

“I could feel it, the magic.” Obi-Wan said. “It was incredible. Like this tidal wave of energy with your personal signature on it. It felt like...blood and ink and the heat from a fire place.”

“No one’s ever said they felt it before,” Anakin mused, finishing his application of the ointment. He was basically stoned, and very sleepy. He used the wet cloth to wipe his hands and turned off the light, leaving only the bedside lamp. Getting comfortable in bed he turned towards Obi-Wan and said a soft good night. The last thing he felt was a kiss against his forehead.

#fanfiction #fanfic #slash #obikin #magicaltattoo #smut #star wars smut

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