It's okay if many of your friends or people you liked somehow, sooner or later, left you. it's not your fault. It's probably not even theirs. It's just that not everybody is meant to stay in our life and we're not meant to stay in everyone's life.
Their behaviour or the fact that you're no more in contact, doesn't define your worth nor it depends on what has happened. And it doesn't mean that everyone you'll meet will one day leave or choose someone else.
You're not gonna be a second choice or second guess forever. Start giving yourself, see your own worth objectively. And even if you did something wrong in the past, you don't have to repeat that with new people. Close that door, grieve (things cannot change anyway, so work with your guilt feelings if there are any) and move on with your new knowlegde and awareness: we sometimes need to make mistakes to learn something, even to trust the "wrong" people (that at the moment seem right -and maybe they are for that moment! But we all change, and sometimes in different ways, and therefore we cannot connect with each other anymore, and that's okay! New people that matches the "new us" will come in!!) or do/say something "wrong".
I keep coming back to this moment. It broke me to my core. Anyone who has lost someone, knows the darkness, knows the death of the world you once knew, the loss of the person you once were. The more time passes, the more the memories of them disappear, and it all becomes a blur. They can be in your dreams one moment and gone the next. Time and circumstance steal and dissipate the connection you once had. It makes you feel like you’ve lost them over and over again.
You find yourself searching for them in other people, places, or things. You temporarily win the battle with your internal thoughts, feelings, and disconnection, by finding solace and peace in these lifelines. They help us to live, to survive another day, without them. It can absolutely destroy you if there is nothing left to hold on to❤️🩹.
When Michonne put Carl back in Ricks’s hands, she literally breathed new life into him. She gave him a connection, a lifeline for him to hold on to. I felt this! I know this!! It encapsulates grief/ loss so well. Beautifully written and acted! ♥️
I feel sick. Tumblr has basically been my whole world for the last 14 or so years, more than a third of my life. It feels like a beloved friend has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I don't know how long they have left but I now have to live with the knowledge that the end is near. That some day, possibly soon, I will have to live in a world without them. That I will probably have to watch them slowly wither away until they're a husk of their former self (which has already been happening though I've tried to turn a blind eye) and I'm not sure if that's better or worse than pulling the plug because at least I'll have a little more time with them.
I know there have been "tumblr is dead" scares in the past but this one is not like those. This one is not a joke. It's real (unless a miracle occurs and we suddenly gets a massive amount of funding from some generous benefactor). Tumblr has been rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic for years now but we've finally hit the iceberg.
My only hope is, now that we know the end is no longer theoretical, the tumblr community will rally around and put real funding into an alternative like pillowfort or cohost. Now more than ever we need to create a true crowdsourced archive of our own for fandom so that this can't keep happening.
I'll make backup accounts on other sites, but in case you were wondering, I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. I'm going down with this ship. It's been an honor and a privilege. 🫡
@autisticempathydaemon said they loved my Angel listener (along with everything else it was SO SWEETTT OMLLL<333) so here’s a doodle for you! They’re also one of my favorites!
Look at that face.
Full of mischief.
Some fun facts about them: they’re native! Specifically they could be from the Salishan (but I don’t know too much so I leave it ambiguous) and are half Filipino, born and raised in British Columbia, Canada around Vancouver. They were raised by their mom and brothers, then moving to dahlia for college.
They originally planned to secure a high end job in Vancouver just going to California for school but they met David. They still visit their family as often as they can.
They’re 5’4, the shortest listener! Aklag is still beefy and could definitely throw David over their head. Their callouses are from being raised on a farm, and they’re starting to fade now.
I took them out of another story I made a while ago so I’m still trying to tweak them seamlessly so I’ll actually maybe probably not but make a backstory sheet for my listeners?
Thank you sm for your words and I hope you like it!