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#in fact the songs do have actual lyrics that the voice actors sing! and guess what!!!
mars-ipan · 1 year
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i gotta say i HATE IT when people try to put english language on splatoon songs. they AREN’T SPEAKING ENGLISH. they are speaking inklish or octarian or salmon….. salmonese? idk what you’d call that one POINT IS IT ISN’T ENGLISH
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Best lines of every death note song and why:
Where is the Justice?
[Light]
What good is law that can’t
Punish those who break it?!
I love this line mainly because of the pure emotion in his voice when he sings it. He sounds so exasperated and tired. Justice was clearly a sore spot for him long before he picked up the Death Note.
They’re Only Human
[Ryuk, Rem]
They don’t see
Who they are is who they’ll always be
This line is great because of how the lyrics are the same but Ryuk and Rem each give them completely different meanings. Ryuk says it as a jest, a mockery of sorts. Rem says it with fascination and maybe a bit of pity. They can share the same beliefs and still view humanity differently.
Change the World
[Light]
But what would happen if it's true?
Imagine all that I could do
Light just picked up the Note and he was already yearning to be the one that made change himself. It makes you wonder how his career in law enforcement would have gone without the Death Note's interference.
Hurricane
[Light]
I am the God of a brave new world
Much better than the last!
well that escalated quickly.
Kira!
[Ryuk]
You think you’re making changes
But the only thing you can change is your name
This is such an underrated line because it's true. No matter how much someone prods at the system, it never seems to do much. I guess it's more like Light stabs the system as opposed to prodding it, but with the same effect. Humanity doesn't change easily.
I'm Ready
[Misa]
And the world may be cold
And the world may be cruel
But this world is all that I've got
I forget sometimes that Misa isn't just a Light Yagami fangirl. She actually truly believes in the systems that Light is trying to implement. She wants to change the world for the better just as much as he does.
We All Need a Hero
[Sayu]
When I get afraid, and all hope is gone
I reach for your hand and I belong
Cause someone like you, who's scared but won't run
Is standing his ground for everyone
These lines are painful for a couple reasons. The most obvious being that she's saying that Kira should be more like her brother, who is actually Kira. The hope and admiration on her face are enough to induce tears. The other reason being that those lyrics actually pertain to Kira for many, not just Light. So many different possible perspectives.
The Game Begins
[L]
The chase is on, the die is cast
I sift a thousand pixels
Until I chase you down at last...
The game begins!
I think this just reinforces the fact that L sees his competition with Kira as an interesting game to play. He sounds entertained.
There are Lines
[Soichiro]
You don't load a gun
[Light]
You don't
[Soichiro, Light]
Close your eyes and shoot!
This is interesting because Light skips that first line entirely and only butts in for the last portion. It's symbolic of the fact that Light disagrees with Soichiro for the first part. His father says don't kill anyone period and Light says don't shoot blindly. kill with purpose.
Secrets and Lies
[L, Light]
The line is quickly blurring between what's right and what is not
I don't care who gets hurt now
As long as I get one more shot!
This is my favorite line in the entire musical. It captures their dynamic perfectly. Neither of them care about anyone but each other and winning their game at this point.
Mortals and Fools
[Rem]
Try as I will, I just don't understand it
Love is for mortals and fools
tHeSe wOrDs wiLL nOt cOme bAcK tO hAuNt mE lAtEr tHiS wEeK
Stalemate
[L]
Just like two actors on a stage
Go through the motions that we both rehearse
Our little new atomic age
Eyeball to eyeball
We'll see who blinks first!
A staring contest is an excellent metaphor for their game of cat and mouse. It's a contest where the slightest upset of any kind can affect the outcome and victor, and it requires you to be completely concentrated on your opponent.
I'll Only Love You More
[Misa]
My restless life is worth so much more
Because of you worth living for
If I find you maybe love me too
I'll only love you more
These lyrics tend to remind me just how much of Misa's will to live is comprised of Light. It certainly explains her actions after his death. She deserved better.
The Way Things Are
[L]
Always only believed what was
Right in front of me
What I could see
Shinigami are real because
It's the only way
The only way
I have no fancy explanation for this one, it just reminds me of the scene where he hears the word shinigami and falls over screaming. Never ceases to make me cackle.
Mortals and Fools (Reprise)
[Rem]
Love makes you break all the--
[Ryuk] (spoken)
Rem
Don't break the rules
The reprise was hauntingly beautiful in which Rem takes up Misa's old lines and sings them, as she finally understands what Misa meant. I also appreciate the little bit of care for Rem that Ryuk shows here. A warning of sorts.
Honor Bound
[Soichiro]
Timelines and coincidences can't replace hard facts
But if what I'm seeing, bends as light refracts
Am I blinded to what my son lacks?
Can we appreciate the Light puns please.
Playing His Game
[L, Light]
I’ll catch him when
I look through his eyes
See what he sees
And then improvise
Until I can learn what puts him at ease
I’ll walk in his shoes
As long as it takes
There is absolutely no heterosexual explanation for this level of obsession.
Borrowed Time
[Misa]
I'm cheating death with every breath
And every song and every sigh
With every day that I don't die
Is borrowed time!
These lines are just so beautiful to me. She sings about how death does not matter to her because she's only alive now on account of Gelus's sacrifice. The vigor she sings with here is also so wonderful.
When Love Comes
[Rem]
When love comes, it takes you by surprise
You see things through someone else's eyes
Rem finally understands love. Also that last line reminds me of a certain line in Playing His Game 🤨
The Way It Ends
[L]
I've seen through you right from the start!
[Light]
I've simply let you play your part!
[L]
You'll never ever get away!
[Light]
Don't you see that you will die today?
I love how even at the end, they're both trying to prove themselves to one another. They're trying to show that they won, that they're the better man/person/detective. That last line of Light's kinda shut L up tho 💀
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starlightsearches · 2 years
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with your story, Mixtape, i loved it. so much lmao it was so angsty and sweet and i like how you do miscommunication. i normally hate when characters dont "just talk to each other", but you make it unannoying and understandable, even with your shorter works. i love it lmao
me being me though, i do want to add what Mixtape made me think of. and thats, arrogantly enough, me. bc. y/n. of course. buT STILL, hold my hand, listen to me-- i got this thing right, called an Auditory Processing Disorder. its part of the D/HoH. (actually, i have a lot of processing disorders, probably, but Mixtape made me think of that one) its where your ears are fine, but your brain has problems processing language. so a lot of the time, if you arent reading lips (their back is to you, theyre in the other room, or theyre a recording on a mixtape), or if theres competing sounds (like the melody can make lyrics hard to hear), if there's an accent, or if youre just having a bad processing moment-- people sound like theyre speaking Simlish. they sound like the Peanuts parents. theyre suddenly speaking a foreign language you dont know, and maybe you can catch onto the meaning via context clues and pass by the "i heard your voice but didnt hear a word you just said" moment. other times you have to ask people to repeat themselves (and sometimes you process belatedly and realize what they said in the middle of their repetition, meaning the repetition was useless, its annoying). it's like,you can hear a car door slam down the street just fine, you can hear the faucet dripping in the other room-- but trying to hear your bud that's driving while youre in the backseat?? with their face away from you, the sounds of the car itself moving and the sounds of traffic, god forbid if any music is playing or multiple people in the car are talking at once-- you cant hear a thing anyone is saying. its all gibberish
i have a point to this, promise. the end result is cute, i just have to explain a lot about this disorder first because idk if you know it already or not, and yeah
growing up, i couldnt figure out what the fuck people were saying while they were singing because of this disorder. the melody was competiting with the singer, i could hear the singer's voice but none of the lyrics. so what i always had to do was search youtube for the lyric videos or try to find the lyrics online. because if i couldnt do either (and i very often couldnt growing up. i generally can now, but every once in a while, i still google it and come up with zilch), and i had no lyrics to reference, then that meant looping the song until i could "get" what they were saying. and very, VERY often?? id get like. two or three lines of every other verse, and the rest was a garbled mess of English-ish words and im just sitting there going "i guess i'll never know"
now. call me crazy. i was born in 1997, idk what tech was available in the 80s. but i know youtube was NOT, and im pretty fucking positive googling song lyrics was also not something one could do. youd have to find the album's song books somewhere or hope the lyrics were printed on the vinyl case (idk if cassette tapes also sometimes had that, idk). a mixtape?? you definitely dont get the lyrics printed anywhere. buying several albums of song books for a single mixtape of miscellaneous songs is just expensive
actually, as a genuine ABBA fan, the fact that rheir voices are never comepting with the melody (the voices are always SIGNIFICANTLY louder than rhe melody) and they ennuciate well, shit sounds crystal clear, i dont have to look up lyrics usually. same thing with musicals, they usually have to put a lot of focus in vocal clarity since not everyone can see the actor's face on stage, so that's part of why im a musical nerd. its easier to process
so. im here. just sitting. imagining my y/n with their auditory processing disorder, wincing at eddie and going "I'm taking it slow. I've been re-listening to the songs until I can actually process what the singer is saying. It's hard to, like, hear the words. I haven't let myself move onto the next song until I figure it out. Because. Y'know. You made it for me, and I want to appreciate it and understand what you've made me."
"Oh. That's right, your brain-language thing. Uh. Well, how far have you gone?"
"I've been on the first track all week, actually. But I promise I'm trying! Really! I do like how it sounds, I just want to get what the guy's actually saying before moving on to the next one, y'know? I'm sorry."
and i say this because. god. eddie probably knoes all the songs. and i dont think hed like sernade someone who he wasnt dating, bUT
the idea of eddie having to "make it physical", like, him having to hand-write the lyrics for y/n (he knows the songs afterall, hes probably nemorized them or at least can re-listen and pause the song to write the next bit down bc he can hear better than them) so they can read the lyrics while listening, him having to take this ethereal concept of trying to communicate his feelings and WRITING IT DOWN, knowing y/n will have his heart in his hands (as opposed to the slight distance of putting a cassette in a player, no longer touching skin) and see all the mispellings and scribbles and smudges, and just. god. the fear of what if your handwriting betrays what youre feeling. the addition of paper and pen makes the will they/wont they get it, get me, get what im saying mystery of a mixtape feel even more like a love letter now, aw fuck. poor eddie. he already went through the nervousness of handing them the cassette, now this is like the sequel and he still has no emptional pay-off from the first one yet on if this is just him or what
ugh. i just thought thatd be so fucking cute. him writing down the lyrics for them. god
i cant write a fic, i dont have the time, but i thought youd like this vague outline of one in return for the gift of what you crafted and polished so well. thank you for it. again, shit really tugged at my heart strings, i love the angst and pining of it all. i hope this attempt of a return gift made you at least smile. i know it doesnt parallel with your AUDACIOUSLY wonderful idea of "i cant listen to this tape because i love you", but it still was an idea generated because of you. and i just love the tenderness of eddie doing the Love As An Act Of Service in it, and i hope that you end up enjoying at that aspect of it too. again, what youve done is an utter delight, and i hope this outline gives you a fraction of the leg-kicking squeals kinda feelings you gave me. thank you again. good luck to you in all you do ♡
Hey friend!!
I'm so glad you liked Mixtape! I actually also have auditory processing disorder (because of ADHD) and I totally get what you mean about not understanding lyrics. Thank god for google 🙌🏼
Also, I do think the idea of Eddie writing out the lyrics would be pretty cute—going through half a notebook of paper because his handwriting looks like shit or he keeps misspelling words. And then he knows that you'll look at it, see the lyrics written out and how scary that would be for him.
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yuuana · 5 months
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Music Monday #234: ATEEZ - MATZ release: December 2023 genre: Kpop, K-hiphop cw: jump scare: kidnapping, flashing lights, violence
Oh no, not Jagu being a completely predictable simp for her best boys. Yup, all month long, one per week, ATEEZ is releasing music videos for the unit songs produced for WILL, so guess what I'll be doing for the next four weeks, too. XD ATEEZ spoils ATINY so much, how can I not want to shower them in love right back?
Because Seonghwa has such an angelic singing voice, for the first few years it was one of those "secrets" that would catch new ATINY by surprise that he initially auditioned to be a rapper. It was a talent of his we didn't see until late in Mingi's hiatus, but like a cat in a bag, once it was out, there was no putting the genie back in the bottle, apparently, as we've steadily gotten more and more appearances of rapper!Seonghwa. And I for one am not going to complain about that.
So given that this is a two rapper subunit, shouldn't really be a surprise that MATZ is more rapped lines than sung. There are sung interludes but the bulk of the lines are delivered in varied rap rates - Hongjoong's delivery leans towards speed while Seonghwa's delivery is purposefully slower to contrast. Given the lyrics, even before the MV's release, there was theorizing that this song was less about lore and more about calling out saesangs for their shameless behavior (putting trackers on idol's vehicles, selling supposed idol phone numbers), especially since this was the one track on WILL that did not pass broadcast muster (presumed for the line about the "carnival," a reference for a make of KIA vehicle). On the other hand, the chorus is definitely a reference to the way these two do have an almost magical chemistry; there's good reason fandom calls them pirate king and pirate queen. ;)
Despite the energy of the track, the video has a muted blue tint over most of the scenes, a coldness that makes this feel very Halateez. There's a story going on between the performance scenes, but even most of the story scenes are cross-pollinated with the performance. There's not much dance by the two members for this one and yet Hongjoong in particular is constantly in motion while delivering his lines. It makes it hard to sit still while watching him, to be honest, so be careful to do some warm ups before getting into any head banging. ;)
As for lore implications.... Hokay, so according to comments in their behind the scenes for WILL, the second half of the album is supposed to signal the unspooling narrative's return from the Z universe (aka Halateez) to the A universe (aka Heroteez), which would put this in A. On the other hand, from comments in the MV behind the scenes video, it feels like MATZ is actually still Z cluster. Or maybe in a 'verse that's halfway between the two clusters? The faceless background actors feel more in keeping with the "the disease is human emotion" that we've seen as the throughline of Z cluster, but the mere existence of a music shop kinda flies in the face of that, sooo ... as per usual, more questions than answers. And if we are returning to Heroteez for the next segment of lore, who knows when we'll get answers.
As noted previously, THE WORLD EP.FIN: WILL is out now for streaming wherever you prefer to do your Kpop listening and for physical purchase at a large array of shops, including domestic US stores that report to Billboard - WILL debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200, in fact. I even picked up a copy (Diary version) via Wal-Mart...and got a very lovely San PC for my trouble, so count me a happy ATINY.
Want to see Music Monday deep dives more often? Sponsor a song selection! For the low, low price of one (1) KoFi, I'll write up the song of your choice. ANY song of your choice. Yes, even that one that's been played to death. Yes, your obscure faves too. With sponsors, I can stop skipping weeks and falling further and further behind in the releases! Sponsor a current CB for the next open Music Monday slot or sponsor a throwback for a Thursday feature! But seriously, if you've been enjoying my selections and analyses, we (me and the foster kittens) would love a KoFi in thanks. DW | Twitter | Mastodon | Bluesky | Ko-fi | Patreon | Discord | Twitch
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A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>
So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~
This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.
I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛
So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.
(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)
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1. Sticker
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THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT
THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 
The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao
It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.
With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.
STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH
To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!
It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.
Literally, no one does it like them!
The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)
The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.
The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?
The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.
I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.
"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH
Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!
But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO
BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW
This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚
2. Lemonade
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(⌐■_■)
Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee
The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.
This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!
Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃
"WOOF"
I might have just barked too wOW
Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm
Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅
I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.
3. Breakfast
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Now breakfast time, oh jeez!
AAAHAHFU—
Summer 127's bestie!
If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.
You know what it is.
"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP
Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞
And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)
This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.
Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.
4. Focus
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Did I just invade a private call? LMAO
The analog voice filters make it like so.
Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf
My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,
"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha
"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!
This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.
Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?
I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ
I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!
5. The Rainy Night
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Ooh, the holy melancholy!
Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.
This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.
The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.
I think I crumbled from this one.
This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.
What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.
Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.
Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.
Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.
"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?
And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.
6. Far
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Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...
Alright!
The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.
Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.
Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~
Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!
As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!
I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha
I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???
Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK
Not my favorite, but still great though!
But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???
7. Bring The Noize
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Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations
HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES
I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO
This screams so much confidence!
The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!
This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.
JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)
THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM
When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT
OUTTA MY WAY
“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN
You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.
A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.
8. Magic Carpet Ride
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This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.
Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.
This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(
The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.
Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.
Okay alright Doyoung Grande!
And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.
The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.
This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.
9. Road Trip
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This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.
Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.
Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)
Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.
But where do I go—
I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.
Just Wholesome™ vibes.
I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.
This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.
10. Dreamer
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Eyyyy such a refreshing song!
This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!
It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)
The horns make it more lively I think!
Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.
The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf
Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...
There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.
And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!
11. Promise You
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MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!
The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.
It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.
The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.
It definitely sounds like a promise.
A song about platonic intimacy.
This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”
Because they cherish their fans like that.
It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.
Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.
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This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha
I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.
✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚
if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞
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Alright, I watched the Dear Evan Hansen film adaption, I’ve got a lot to say it seems so here’s the review I posted on Letterboxd.
I would like to say straight up that I am a huge fan of the Broadway show so that makes my judgment bias, and I will be comparing it.
I’m not going to criticise the choice to use Platt, I understand why they did and it’s evident that he puts his heart into the character of Evan Hansen.
The film opens with the song “Waving Through A Window” as opposed to “Anybody Have a Map?” which seemed odd. “Anybody Have a Map?” has Heidi Hansen, Evan’s mother and Cynthia Murphy, Connor’s mother, sing about not understanding their children and their struggle parenting. We observe the parallel between Evan and Connor, and open with a perspective that isn’t Evan. Instead, we are introduced via Evan’s first solo, showing off the narrative entirely through his character’s view point.
The start of the film is slow, the actors seem almost bored reciting their lines in the scenes taking place throughout the first day of school, Colton, who plays Connor Murphy, has dialed down the character’s anger which I was a little disappointed with. He yells at Evan in the hallway, not shoving him (though he would do that later) and in the library he’s quiet, even when he yells at Evan. It’s hard not to compare to Mike Faist’s performance in the musical, loud and angry and hurt “you’re the fucking freak!”
Jared’s character is barely there after “Sincerely Me” (which, I will admit, I quite loved as a musical number; the transition into the song, Colton’s movements, the ridiculously inappropriate upbeat vibe.) - which I was severely disappointed with. I love Nik Dodani as an actor and I was so excited to see him play Jared. And the bits of dialogue we get are fun, he plays the role a lot more sassy than Will Roland did on Broadway, but after “Sincerely Me” he’s shoved to the back, a couple reaction shots in “You Will Be Found”, a quick scene at the first Connor Project meeting and him and Alana waiting for Evan to show up at a subsequent meeting later on, but he never gets angry at Evan like he does in the show (“Fuck you, Evan. Asshole.”) - and whilst I was always a little sad they never got resolution in the show, it hurt here more. Him and Evan have a graduation photo together but Jared seems more annoyed while Evan is enthusiastic. The “family friend” bit never comes back around either. Dodani’s Jared never gets fleshed out and it makes me sad at what could’ve been.
Also he 100% would’ve killed the “Sincerely Me” reprise.
Jumping character from Jared to Alana Beck - I really loved Stenberg’s portrayal of Alana and it’s one of the best things to come from the film. She’s authentic, and her character actually gets fleshed out more, including a new solo “The Anonymous Ones”, which takes the place of “Disappear”. Now, I really loved “The Anonymous Ones”, I think it’s pretty, I think it perfectly fits with the theme and I adore how they made it visually parallel “Waving Through A Window” as she sings it. I also enjoy the lyrical parallels to the cut song from the musical “Hiding In Your Hands” which Zoe sings, but was replaced by “Requiem”.
However, “Disappear” was important in the musical, being sung by Evan and his imaginary Connor - the physical manifestation of his guilt throughout the musical (something the film lacks and I will speak more on in a moment). “Disappear” is the point in which Evan is asked the question “Did you fall? Or did you let go?” by Connor and we realise Evan had attempted suicide when he broke his arm, he’s in denial. In the film, it’s hinted at in Evan’s flashbacks around Ellison but not fully confirmed until “Words Fail” at the end of the film, a full hour after we learn the fact in the Broadway show. It takes away from Evan’s character.
“Requiem”, my favourite song in the whole musical, was well done. Not the best it could be, Dever, playing Zoe, seemed to struggle a little with the vocal range of the song, but to be fair Zoe has one of the harder vocal demands in the show. I love the climax having Zoe almost total her car, I thought it was a brilliant idea - however, Dever didn’t play it nearly angry enough in my opinion. Dreyfuss’ performance of “Requiem” is fuelled by anger in the bridge “when the villains fall the kingdoms never weep, no one lights a candle to remember, no one mourns at all…” the idea is there, the execution just could’ve been better.
Amy Adams as Cynthia is one of the best performances in the film. Her acting is brilliant and she nails her parts in “Requiem”, storywise though, it seems very clear that they were going for the angle where she pushes Evan into lying, she’s desperate to know more about her son. In the stage play this is evident, but I felt like they were pushing that idea more in the film - which leans back into Evan being played as more sympathetic.
There are several other instances and changes where it’s been made for Evan to look more sympathetic in the film adaption; cutting the songs “Anybody Have a Map?” (outside perspective), “Disappear” (Evan’s biggest mistake in the film outside of the original lie), and especially “Good For You” (Heidi, Alana and Jared holding Evan accountable), the change in “If I Could Tell Her” having Evan and Zoe talking in the kitchen and almost kissing as opposed to him actually kissing her in Connor’s bedroom in the show (a moment wherein I was asking “how far is he willing to take this?”).
In the end, there is the change made wherein Evan exposes himself online as a liar, whereas in the show the Murphy’s decide to keep it secret because of the good that has come from the Connor Project. And I guess this works in the sense of the film, offers a bit of closure to Evan’s character arc as he tries to actually go and find out what Connor was really like after doing so (something taken from the novel of all things, and I’m slightly pissed off that if the novel was being taken into account they didn’t bother to even hint at Miguel, Connor’s canonical boyfriend in the book.)
I know this was the writer’s way of trying to hold Evan more accountable for his actions, but honestly? “Good For You” still does a better job - having Heidi, Alana and Jared, characters we know and understand their hurt and frustration, ripping into Evan is a much more satisfying way to have him held accountable for his actions then just Evan opening up instagram and posting a video unprompted.
Speaking of there being a lack of “Good For You” - Heidi Hansen barely makes it into the film. After “Anybody Have A Map?” and “Good For You” being cut she has one song, “So Big/So Small” which takes place after Evan is honest about everything and tells her what he tried to do when he broke his arm, and the song is beautiful, it’s sang well and it’s a clearly devastating song - but I felt such a lack of connection to this portrayal of Heidi due to how little she was in the film. However, what she was in there for, Moore acted her well - and would’ve absolutely killed “Good For You” if they had left it in. Which they had the time to do oh my god-
I couldn’t find a place to talk about this earlier but “You Will Be Found” is the emotional climax to end the first act of the show on Broadway. The song is fine in the film, but the editing of one part in particular really annoyed me - the part of the song where it’s the chorus of voices echoing “you are not alone” and there is just post after post merging together to create a photo of Connor. It’s a clear parallel to the set on the Broadway show, and I see what they were attempting to do but the editing just didn’t look right? At all? I hated it.
The film is ended in the same manner as the Broadway show, at the end of the year at the orchard, Zoe takes Evan and they talk, get closure, and that’s that. All this ending with Connor’s song, which I was thrilled that Connor got a song let me tell you, “A Little Closer” which surfaces as Evan’s attempting to find out more about the real Connor - it stems from a video of him singing at rehab. Connor in the film, like Zoe, plays guitar and writes songs. This was actually a detail about Connor I really liked that they added, links him to Zoe a little more. In the novel, Zoe actually writes and sings “Requiem” while Connor’s ghost watches her, and I just like the symmetry it provides the two characters, who otherwise are “a million worlds apart”. That was another reason I was upset about Zoe’s lack of anger during “Requiem”, it links back to Connor’s own anger.
My biggest gripe with the film is the lack of Connor. In the Broadway show he remains as the physical manifestation of Evan’s guilt for lying about being the dead kid’s friend, he talks to Evan and seemingly coaxes him to lie more, he’s the one who begs the question “did you fall? or did you let go?”, in the novel he remains as a ghost, every three or so chapters having one of his own which gives insight into his life while being alive (showing how wrong Evan has him) and commenting on Evan’s trainwreck of a lie (which offers a perspective that’s not Evan’s). There’s a scene in the novel where his ghost interacts with Evan once, after the truth comes out Evan is lying on the road unwilling to get up despite an oncoming car and Connor’s ghost just screams at him to get up. It’s a bittersweet moment. In the film however, aside from the first day of school and the “Sincerely Me” montage, we are given nothing until Evan unearths the video of him singing in rehab. It’s odd. Connor’s suicide acts as the catalyst for the plot, and Levenson himself has referred to Evan and Connor as mirror images of one another, which is one of the reasons his presence is important throughout the story. The film lacks it.
Overall, I didn’t absolutely hate the film, I liked a few of the new character details, loved the two additional songs, and it would’ve been alright had the film been a stand-alone film, but being a fan of the Broadway show since 2017, I was left disappointed at what could have been. Jared not having any development, Heidi not being in the film much at all, the lack of Connor - ghost or the physical manifestation of Evan’s guilt aside. 
But in a sentence? It could’ve been worse.
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uwua3 · 4 years
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hello hello would it be okay to ask for some fluffy and romantic headcanons for tenma with a childhood s/o? they were both in the entertainment industry, but s/o is now playing music in a band (like bang dream!) thank you thank you!
hi anon~ of course!!! 🥺 i never actually got into rhythm beat games because i simply Lack The Talent to play them T___T please excuse me if i say anything wrong~
summary: tenma promised he’d perform with you at your first stadium show, but will he keep his word?
warnings: unhealthy/strict parents
author’s note: i incorporated So Much Stan Twt culture in this, i swear. please look forward to fanboy! tenma and this super cliché, cute headcanon with you as tenma’s first friend/crush!!! sunshine x sunflower couple rise up ♡ this may be slightly ooc + i used poppin’ party’s sunflower dreams lyrics towards the end!!!
word count: 6,795
music: sunflower dreams – poppin’ party
sunflower dreams!
🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma
you were born to be on stage
tenma remembered thinking that the first time he saw you singing into that off mic, absolutely living out your idol dreams in that music room with a guitar much too big for your tiny kid self
you and tenma were about eight years old, and that was the first time he had a crush on anyone before
it was elementary. tenma was already recognized country wide, he was the it child star of the decade, his fame catapulted him to great success early on with two acting parents in the entertainment business
but, why didn’t he have friends, then?
everyone he talked to as a child suddenly didn’t look at him the next day. every time tenma asked his parents, it was always the same answer: “they’ll do nothing for your career, focus on acting”
so when he found you sneaking into the music classroom and stealing one of the teacher’s guitars to use, strumming even if you didn’t know any notes, tenma hid behind the door as he listened
you had a voice made for stardom. you sang like you were performing for a stadium of thousands of fans, you did it confidently as if you’ve been in the industry for years, and you jumped around like this was the last song of your life
you loved music, and before you knew it, tenma became your first and biggest fan. he arrived at the same time everyday after school to sit outside the music practice room and hear you sing again
eight–year–old tenma didn’t know why he lied to his parents, claiming he was just catching up on schoolwork due to his acting career. his grades didn’t change, but it didn’t matter when he got to hide in the corner of the corridor and push his short frame to the ledge of the window to see you playing the guitar
one day, tenma was back again in his usual spot, standing on his tippy–toes to peek into the classroom as always, knowing he was in for a show for the next hour or so before his driver picked him up
it was supposed to be another regular one–man concert all for himself, where he applauded silently for the aspiring musician. but, as you were singing a song you had practiced for a while now, your eyes met his mid–strum of the guitar
you stumbled on your notes and fell silent, eyes wide at the bright orange hair that disappeared behind the wall instantly. before you could react, you heard the squeak of sneakers against the floor as a blur of the school uniform ran past the door and away into the hall
you recognized that face immediately, who wouldn’t? sumeragi tenma was the most popular elementary student ever in the district despite always being alone. you contemplatively stared at the spot where tenma hid, wondering how long he had always been there.
it was the next day and tenma was hesitant, nervousness taking over as his face flushed from yesterday’s events. he was so careless, he couldn’t believe he let himself be discovered like that! tenma rubbed his face, groaning with the stress of an adult as he stood at the entrance of the music hallway
it’s not like he could go anywhere else without getting in trouble, so here he was, returning to visit the school’s secret singer because he wanted to hear the music. but, he seemed like a stalker! tenma swore he just wanted to hear guitar (he pretended like you weren’t his first crush)
before tenma could become chicken and run away from the confrontation, he heard a few familiar notes before you began singing. the recognition kicked in as tenma creeped closer, poking his head around the open door frame with a curious look as you stood dancing around in the middle of the room, already smiling at him
you were singing the ost of the latest drama he was in!
did you learn it just for him? tenma was about to ask, but you ran over, not letting him get away this time as you tossed him a fake mic (which he embarrassingly almost didn’t catch)
were you asking for a duet? your guitar skills had gotten much better over time, in fact, little tenma couldn’t tell the difference between you and the professional who originally played it! tenma felt himself get into the music as you dragged him to the center, giving him an opening to join
tenma took it, and before you two knew it, there was no need to exchange any words as you two sang your heart out without any care in the world to the pop ost
for once in his life, tenma felt like this was what it was like having a friend! he always had those on screen, but this felt real. like, these were the childhood memories he always had to act out for the camera, just yelling lyrics loudly surrounded by instruments and a friend who learned his ost just to make him happy!
out of breath, tenma panted as you played the final notes, letting it hang in the air as the incoming warm air entered through the open windows. you two’s shadows struck final idol poses, like you were actually on stage
a moment of silence passed before you grinned, yelling a celebratory “yes!” as you held your hand out for a high five. tenma just weakly put his palm against yours, trying not to blush from the contact (was this what it was like, holding your hand?)
“dude, we need to start a band!” you exclaimed, not even looking tired as tenma wiped the sweat from his forehead with a grimance. maybe not the right decision if he didn’t have the stamina to be a chart–topping singer
“i... i don’t play any instruments—” tenma started shyly, wringing his hands together before you shook your head rapidly, putting your hands on your hips with an exasperated expression
“but we’re friends!” you insisted, not giving him time to answer as you threw him another water bottle (you had brought an extra, hoping tenma would come by again)
tenma stared at you, shocked as he gripped the water bottle between his small hands. friends? already? was... was this tenma’s first real friend? and his first band, apparently?
you rearranged your items, setting up your music sheets as you quickly glanced over the notes. you could sight read, and you learned it all by yourself, you were so talented, but you wanted to be friends with him?
when you lifted your head with a bright grin, passion within your eyes for music, tenma nodded with determination as he tightened his grip on the bottle. it was his first gift from his first friend
“yeah, we’re friends! let’s do it!” tenma said, watching as you cheered again and confidently high–fiving you this time (last second, you switched your hand to a fist and called it a ‘turkey’. whatever that was)
and that, was the start of the two–man duo band as tenma made his first friend (and crush)
you two grew up together, with tenma prospering in his fame as a multitalented child prodigy
despite his hard–earned popularity as an actor, tenma was never ever late to band practice! you two came to the unlocked music room every day after school, with props as microphones and animatedly daydreaming about stage costumes and the feeling of the lights upon your glowing faces
“do you ever dream about being on stage, ten?” you’d ask, gazing out at the sunset as you fiddled around with the drumsticks, attempting to pick up the beat as your eyes flickered from the orange sky to the worn down drums. tenma would just shrug, laying on the floor after a particularly hard song as he lazily strummed your favorite guitar
(this explained the callouses on your fingers despite being so young, you had rougher hands than him)
“i don’t know, i’m already on t.v.” tenma would justify, just staring at the ceiling as he’d watch the shadows of the trees outside against the surface. these were the moments he remembered the most, where you two took a break from the music and talked endlessly until it was time to go home
“i mean, it’s all scripted, right?” you asked, satisfied as you put your sticks down after finally acing that one technique you struggled with. tenma unstrapped the guitar and rolled to his side, propping his head up with his arm as he considered your question
“yeah... i guess it is.” tenma figured, about to go back to play with the strings before you landed next to him, facing him in the same position as you smiled
you always had that smile whenever you ranted about your ‘big break’, your rise to stardom and dreams to be the #1 global singer in the world (tenma never brought you down to earth, not even for a second)
“on t.v., you can just edit it out, right? but on stage, it’s all live. if i make a mistake, everyone knows.” you furrowed your eyebrows, looking too serious for a young child as you looked past him, as if you were imagining what could go wrong
before tenma could snap you out of it, your eyes landed back on him and you giggled, flopping onto your back as you put your arms across your chest
“that’s what’s so exciting about the stage, ten. every time i go out there, i’m always gonna do my best! i’m gonna be the best performer on the whole entire planet!” you suddenly jumped up, acting out your idol persona as you faked holding a mic, striking your iconic pose you had perfected over time
(tenma just stared up at you, wondering why you shined so much in the light. he wanted to see you under stage lights, though. if you glowed this much now, you would be blinding in front of a crowd)
“and you’ll be with me!” you pointed your invisible mic at tenma as he smiled, not considering any other future as he pushed himself up with his own mic
“i’ll be on stage with you forever!” tenma guarenteed, performing your complex secret handshake as you two made explosion sounds at the end, pretending to fall back from the boom
“come on, let’s practice for when our first show comes!” you ended break time as you took your guitar back. tenma kicked back on the keyboard, not knowing a thing about it but wanting to try his best for you
as you two rocked on, tenma knew you two had were beyond any battle of the bands competition. you two were unstoppable, you two would sell out arenas and pose for the papparazzi together, you two would perform together!
or at least, that’s what tenma thought before one day, his parents came to pick him up
when his famous, high–standard, professional parents arrived to surprise him, they didn’t expect to search the building with a teacher who had no idea she was tutoring him. when they heard the loud singing, all they had to do was coldly glare at their son to make tenma quiet down and obediently follow them to the car
“sumeragi tenma, we raised you better than this. we’ve given you the perfect life, how could you lie to us?!” tenma’s mother cursed, grabbing his hair once they were out of sight of any witnesses. tenma flinched as his parents dragged him to the car, looking back to see you had ran to the entrance with wide eyes
“wait!” you insisted, catching up with his parents with a stubborn expression, holding onto tenma’s blazer sleeve and staring tenma’s father right in his strict face (tenma wished he was as brave and cool as you)
“get off, kid.” tenma’s father spat out, trying to shake you off as tenma kept his head down, attempting not to cry as he bunched his hands into fists. he pretended like this was just some scene, he had to keep his emotions in check behind a mask. he was raised to act like the best son
“no! tenma’s my friend!” you declared and tenma whipped his head up, staring at you with a sad smile as his father scoffed, prying your tight fingers off tenma’s school uniform as you stumbled back. when you hit the ground and sat up, tenma almost escaped his parents’ clutches as he called your name, being shoved into the backseat against his will
“tenma’s not friends with nobodies.” tenma’s father laughed maliciously, slamming the door closed as the family car swerved out of the parking lot
as you put your hand down from blocking the dust, you helplessly watched as tenma performed his end of the secret handshake as he faded into the distance. you stood back up, brushed down your uniform, and made your way back to the music room with tears in your eyes
you were going to be the best lead singer in the world, and tenma was going to sit front row for every show. tenma was gonna be your friend forever
(even if he mysteriously transferred schools the next day)
you began auditions to be involved in the entertainment industry as well
you wanted to be famous just like tenma, if you had become as popular and talented, maybe his parents would let you keep seeing him
entering middle school, you dedicated all your time to improving as an artist outside of your academic studies and transforming the abandoned elementary music room into your practice area
you practiced everyday until your throat was sore, you snuck into the local theatre stage and pretended like it was your concert, you tried to master every instrument that was available to you (though, you never forgot about your original guitar) just to become famous
it wasn’t until you gained your second fan, that your band took off
it was midway through middle school, after countless failed auditions for entertainment companies, that you turned and saw someone hiding in the same spot tenma claimed all those years ago. you blinked, but instead of an orange hue, you found a future bandmate who was just as enthusiastic about music as you
slowly but surely, your band became special to five students as their bond strengthened the core of your group: NATSU-mmer!
(the name flowed naturally since your group’s energetic, poppy, bright music became your image and was a happiness boost for anyone who listened)
although you guys weren’t experienced, your crazy energy and unbreakable friendship sold you to the public as your online covers and self–composed tracks became viral hits over time
you were on guitar and vocals with the support of more guitar, drums, keyboard, and tambourine! as you five practiced until the end of the day, your dedication and passion to music shined as you became famous as the lead singer of NATSU-mmer!
as years passed, you kept tabs on tenma every now and then. you would binge every show he was on, even if he had a minor background role, and couldn’t believe this was the same boy who sang proudly in the afternoon sun like it was a spotlight
tenma was older now, but he still had the same arrogant smirk he wore when he got competitive about beating other bands or who could shriek the highest note. he still had the same orange hair you noticed that one day from behind the window and he still acted like he was the best (maybe, because he was to you)
although you always answered his name when asked who your favorite actor was, you never told anyone your history with him. it felt almost too personal to say anything, when your friendship with him was still close to your heart and would always be associated with those practices after school
you respected his privacy and let him be, knowing damn well you wouldn’t have made it this far without his absence pushing you to be the best possible
(when asked about why you began singing and becoming the leader of your band, you never mentioned the truth: how you wanted to become famous to be tenma’s friend again)
although you two were both now in the entertainment industry, you never reached out to him again because it felt like acting and music was in two different worlds. as tenma dominated the billboards and popularity ratings in magazines, you strummed your guitar and sang with all your heart to your fanbase on stage
you forgot about the promise you had with tenma, until it was time
NATSU-mmer was having its first stadium show as an anniversary gift to the fans, selling out within minutes as you were processing the news. your bandmates screamed around you, jumping up and down as they loudly discussed how this was an once–in–a–lifetime opportunity
you smiled, but you had a distant look in your eyes. you were remembering tenma, even though he hadn’t crossed your mind in months, with the pressure and business of rehearsals and concerts and all that
it was nearing summer, you two were on break again after tenma’s voice cracked from a tune. you did your best not to laugh as you two sat on the desks, staring out at the sunset nearing in silence, just the sound of you two’s slightly heavy breathing from the work out
“do you think we’ll ever become big, ten?” you asked innocently, always talking about your dreams together as if tenma wasn’t a renowned actor already. tenma didn’t answer right away, resting his face against the window pane on his folded arms as he blew a strand of hair out of his face
“i don’t know, my parents want me to become a famous actor.” tenma sighed and you laughed, nudging him slightly with your elbow
“you’re already famous, ten! that’s why i call you ten, because you’re a 10/10 in every review!” you brought up again as tenma laughed with you, finding the whole situation funny for no reason
“yeah, but an even bigger actor. i’m gonna win best lead actor in every country.” tenma huffed, puffing his chest out like he was those big hotshot teen “heart–throb” actors while flexing his non–existent muscles
“and i’m gonna win every music award show trophy!” you added and tenma nodded, like he was so sure these were your fates. like nothing could change, like it was a matter of fact
“you will...” tenma trailed off, suddenly thinking about something. before you could ask, he fully turned his body towards you as he grinned, holding his pinky out
“but really, once you get that stadium, imma be front row and center!” tenma promised and you looped your finger around his, believing in him 100%
“no, you’ll be backstage! or better yet, on stage with me!” you fantasized as you two dreamily imagined it, shaking your pinkies before letting go with a secret promise you could never break
“we should spit shake.” tenma spat in his hand as you shrieked, ranting about how gross he was as he chased after you like every annoying little boy did. your laughter faded in your memory as you remembered the promise you and tenma made that day
“ten, it’s my first stadium show.” you whispered under your breath, not noticing the sunset outside the practice room
tenma sometimes wondered what would’ve happened if he ended up in a band with you. by no means was he idol material, but at night, he liked to lay down and stare at the ceiling, in the same position whenever he needed to cool down after practice
he had forgotten your name at this point, overwhelmed and exhausted from his acting career and lack of childhood that he had to skip over. from the scarce memories of his youth, all he could distinguish between the blurs was your face grinning happily at him as you jumped in the air with your guitar
(and something about how rough your hands were against his own)
all tenma knew was that he wanted to be on stage with you, and his younger self would’ve done anything to do so
tenma continued acting, forgetting all about his dream to be in a two–man band with you and kept his roles to the camera, skyrocketing into fame faster than anyone before him and staying in the limelight
in a way, both of you had accomplished your dream, just not together
tenma had joined mankai company, to the shock of every media outlet ever. the starlet had overcome his fear of making mistakes, he remembered clearly before he went onto the theatre stage for water me! the first time, a young voice echoed in his ears
“that’s what’s so exciting about the stage, ten. every time i go out there, i’m always gonna do my best! i’m gonna be the best performer on the whole entire planet!”
tenma remembered seeing your face clearly for the first time in a while, remembering every detail of your childhood self as he bunched his two hands into fists, staring at the spotlight upon the stage with the same determination he had when you two became friends
“i’m going to do my best.” tenma said and the rest was left on the stage until closing night
adjusting to mankai was a process. growing up with no true friends, both in school and in the entertainment industry, had surprisingly taken a toll on his behavior without him realizing it. to mankai, he wasn’t the famous star tenma, he was just the really not–put–together teen who wanted to take care of his bonsai in peace
so this is what having friends is like, tenma once thought as he glanced upon the entourage. it was the last time he truly remembered your friendship before he moved on, hoping one day he’d see you someday again
it wasn’t until he happened upon kazunari and misumi’s hanging out session that he was struck with memory of your name
the two were excitedly talking to one another, kazunari rapidly tapping on his phone screen and holding it up to misumi’s attentive face. tenma was about to walk away from the everyday meet–up before kazunari hyped up some group, letting a music video blast from his speaker
over the exaggerated “wow~ that’s a triangle!”, tenma stopped dead in his tracks as he heard a strong, enthusiastic voice belt out a familiar lyric. tenma jumped over to kazunari on the sofa, grabbing both his shoulders with desperation. misumi even paused the video to stare at tenma with shock
“who’s singing this?!” tenma rushed out as kazunari just grinned, finding nothing wrong with being trampled by his troupe leader
“ah! tenten~ are you interested, too?! it’s NATSU-mmer, i was thinking to ask them to sing our next play theme!” kazunari joked before misumi tugged him out of tenma’s grip. as the two went back to watching, tenma repeated the band name multiple times before running to his room and slamming the door
“what the hell do you—” yuki started, looking up from his sewing machine before tenma threw himself onto his bed, fumbling for his phone as he began typing something. tenma paused, zooming in on a group photo before dropping his phone
“THAT’S MY FRIEND!” tenma yelled, swiping through the photos as he finally recognized your name. it was you, the guitarist soloist back in elementary who was his first friend. you had done it, you actually became a full blown band leader who was rising in popularity. he was right in not questioning your dreams
yuki leaned his chair back to sneak a glance at the screen, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared at tenma with disbelief
saying your name, yuki scoffed as he crossed his arms, “the lead vocal of NATSU-mmer, one of the most popular bands in japan right now, is your friend? yeah, right.”
tenma furiously shook his head, sitting up and launching into the full story he didn’t even know he remembered about how you were his bandmate in elementary. yuki barely listened, but got the gist of the tale as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh
“you’re telling me... you grew up with NATSU-mmer’s powerhouse vocalist... and you didn’t even know?!”
tenma sheepishly kicked at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward laugh
“maybe?”
(tenma yelped when yuki threw a pillow at his dumb face with perfect aim)
turns out, everyone in mankai had either known of NATSU-mmer or were huge fans, there was no in between. most of the high schoolers actively followed your band account across multiple platforms, gushing about your performances and how you were a fresh group that came from nothing
the university students knew an album or two, the adults mainly had an idea, and matsukawa even sang along to their songs this entire time! tenma was the last person to find out who your group even was (he was out of the loop all the time)
now that he knew, he was becoming aware of how prominent you had always been in his life. yuki took fashion inspiration from your stage outfits for the plays (they were as spectacular as he remembered imagining them), kazunari kept repeating your title tracks during breaks at practice to keep the mood up (tenma stopped telling him to turn it off), muku’s favorite anime he watched at night had an ost sang by you (tenma listened to it every night through the walls), misumi even pointed out the five people in your band formed a triangle when you all did a group photo (tenma guessed he was onto something, he noticed you were always at the center)
it was like you were still his friend, after all this time, still apart of his life despite the distance
because of this, tenma remained your biggest fan of all time. at first, he intended to follow your music casually, but after going down a rabbit hole of videos (such as interviews, streamed concerts/events, even fan–edited videos of your cute/funny moments or “meet NATSU-mmer” style of “crack edits”), tenma would consider himself a proud “sunflower”
(it was ironic that was your fanbase’s name, because he called you that after you got your first official guitar and you two painted sunflowers on the surface. in a way, he stayed in your life too, since you were both each other’s sunflower and sunshine)
tenma even made a stan twitter account for you! he made it with no intention to dm other sunflowers, but he turned on notifications for your band’s sns and replied to your posts with encouraging messages and reminders to take care of yourself
(he became known in the fandom as “ten”, the sunflower who was practically in love with you) (his icon was always you)
(tenma even bought merch with his own money. yes, he had a jersey with your birth year and last name, tenma admitted from his “early stan” days) (his home screen was a hq fansite picture of you holding a microphone towards the camera, as if you were still inviting him to sing along after all these years)
(he also somehow got roped into downloading your beat rhythm game, knowing you probably crushed all the levels as he struggled with beginner’s) (he got distracted by your voice singing in the background)
(one time, you had a live ig q&a and when you answered his question by saying his username “summerten”, he nearly fell over from excitement) (yuki had to kick him to shut tenma up with his internal freak–out)
tenma’s favorite thing to do as a stan was to watch your performances as if he was there. he had bought your group’s lightstick (a sunflower with spinning petals, how cute!), shaking it in front of his laptop screen and posting pictures with the “TT” sad emoticon
(summerten: TT just want to go to a concert so bad ~ 14 likes)
you were the same as you were before back in elementary. you still danced and sang with all the energy in the world, with uncontainable excitement to be doing what you love and your raw honest personality with your fans was admirable. you were open and the perfect idol since you were so passionate and uplifting with your self–produced/written music
you took the stage by storm, acting like it was your own and wildly playing your guitar like it was your last. you still had the same electric smile and sunny happiness, of course you had become famous for being in a band, you were born to be a star
present day, tenma was practicing his lines with the rest of the summer troupe before his phone buzzed in his pocket, making him automatically check it as summer snickered about his obsession with NATSU-mmer (only yuki really knew why as he refused to tell anybody else, just claiming it was teenage boy hormones)
tenma’s face paled and he looked like he was about to pass out. before anyone could ask, tenma sprinted out of the practice room with an urgent stride to his steps
everyone automatically followed him, yelling about how practice wasn’t over as tenma stumbled to his desk, opening his laptop with such determination it was admirable how one–minded he truly was
“why did you run like someone died?!” yuki whacked him over the head but tenma didn’t react, just logged into a ticketing website with intensity
“someone will die if i don’t get tickets to NATSU-mmer’s second anniversary stadium concert!” tenma insisted, memorizing what he was supposed to do as he sat down, biting his nails as he stared at his spot in the queue. oh god
understandably so, no one understood why tenma had to go to the concert so bad (“why doesn’t he just use his connections to get tickets?” “he really loves NATSU-mmer, huh...” “they do form a triangle!” “shut up”). yet, they resigned themselves to this predicament and let tenma end practice early, knowing pulling him away from his screen would make things way worse
sitting around him, the summer troupe kept light conversation as tenma tapped his foot against the floorboards, willing himself to stare straight ahead to react the fastest
i have to keep my promise, tenma thought as he impulsively bought five tickets without warning, all front row and didn’t wince at his bank balance
tenma promised he’d see you front row at your first stadium concert, and on god, he was going to keep it
when the troupe cheered and rambunctiously discussed tenma’s generousity to take them to the concert with him, yuki stood in the back with his arms crossed and eyes watching tenma carefully
“you hack... you still like them, don’t you?” yuki mumbled, not catching anyone’s attention. it didn’t take a genius to piece together the puzzle, he knew you were much more than just tenma’s first childhood friend, but he didn’t say anything else as tenma breathed a sigh of relief at the mercy of the ticket gods
(when tenma tweeted how he was going to the stadium show, his mutuals showered him in congratulations and your official account even liked it) (he keyboard–smashed like the fanboy he was)
while you were preparing for your opening stadium event for the first time in your professional career, tenma was planning the entire trip as best as he could
(yuki felt so bad for him and his very obvious crush that he made him a sunflower headband for the concert, it was so nice tenma almost went in for a hug before yuki smacked him)
the night of the stadium concert, you were sitting backstage dressed in your group’s common bright fun colors as you fiddled with your guitar, playing a tune you hadn’t remembered until recently. you thought of a little boy with orange hair and purple eyes as you stared off into the distance, just nonchalantly playing the song you two had wrote together back then
as you kept strumming, you imagined him sitting front row, cheering you on
(maybe, you shouldn’t have stalked his official sns accounts before going to sleep last night)
you knew it was last second. but for some reason, even if he never heard it, you had to honor your relationship with tenma
in a way, you would have never been here without his friendship, and you wanted to thank him even if he wouldn’t be there
it took a lot of convincing for your solo stage to be moved to last with no backing track whatsoever (your manager was suspicious of what you had up your sleeve, but you promised it wouldn’t hurt your group’s image), but you did it!
your group pestered you obnoxiously about the change, their sibling–esque bond with you as their “parent” making you laugh as you played it off like it was no big deal.
(as you opened a guitar case you hadn’t brought along in a long time, you smiled down at the worn sunflower–painted guitar)
this was your first stadium show and you could only dream of tenma being right beside you
summer troupe arrived at the stadium hours early, but there was already a long line with campers filling the streets (“why are people sleeping outside just to see some cute people?!” “stan culture, man...”)
tenma was excited in line, not even bothered by the length of the wait as he rambled about your group discography to the boys, subconsciously waving around his sign as he pushed up his sunglasses
(how no one recognized his bright orange hair was beyond anyone’s common sense)
when the group made it past security with a few mishaps (muku making himself look like he was highly suspicious by stuttering and kazunari having to come in to save the day with his social media presence) (misumi almost stripping down for no apparent reason) (yuki actually walked like a normal person with nothing to hide), tenma practically ran to his seat like he was a child again
“everyone say NATSU!” kazunari held his phone up for a group selfie, the five making a triangle as he posted it to his story, tagging it with the group hashtag and the location as always
your band member was scrolling through the hashtag with the group account, showing everyone fan pictures and providing over–the–top commentary, as you all sat in a circle waiting for the show to begin
“oh~ it’s that kazu guy! he usually posts stories with our songs!” your band member said, swiping to their most recent story and your eyes widened
was that a shock of orange hair?
you couldn’t have missed it. that had to be tenma, no other fan would just show up with sunglasses front row like he promised before
did he remember you? before you could react, everyone moved onto the next fan and complimented them endlessly, your mind still stuck on that orange hair
it couldn’t have been... but yet, you smiled
at least you could imagine singing to someone for your stage at the end
when the concert began with a strum of your guitar, tenma let out the most excited scream of all time as his voice was drowned out by the rest of the fans. summer troupe side–eyed him but ignored his frantic lightstick waving as they watched the five members of NATSU–mmer rise from the stage in their iconic poses (yours was the same from childhood)
“who’s ready to start this summer off right?!” you shouted into your mic, your voice vibrating the open stadium as the fans cheered in response. tenma was quiet this time, staring up at you with such admiration yuki had to shove him out of it (“don’t be so dumb right now, enjoy the show!” “shut up, i wasn’t staring!” “i didn’t say you were...”)
you guys opened with your debut song, going back to your humble beginnings in the elementary practice room as everyone danced the night away. everyone online was right; streams could never compare to the real thing. tenma didn’t care about being “cool” for once as he jumped up and down
(kazunari definitely got multiple videos of him singing every song word for word at the top of his lungs like his life depended on it) (there’s also a video of him crying to an emotional ballad song, just full sobbing as muku awkwardly patted his back while worriedly glancing at the camera)
(“it’s so sad...” tenma sniffled as yuki practically shoved his own hands into his mouth, trying not to laugh for once)
the event passed in a flash, your stamina crazy high as you didn’t even seem tired. you looked more alive than ever, especially when you began giving your final speech of the night as NATSU-mmer’s leader
“hi, sunflowers!” you giggled, the fans awww–ing in unison and tenma was staring at you like you were the sun. he was right, you were so bright under the spotlight, it was blinding
“thank you so much for coming to our first stadium show.” you bowed and tenma noticed your hand was shaking around the mic. he was worried, were you okay?
“actually, this is very special to me, not because it’s a stadium, but because you’re all here to share it with me~” you cutely said, laughing when everyone cooed. you kept going, all the attention on you as the background musicians began filing out backstage. murmurs filled the stadium, what was going on?
“but also... i made a promise back then, to my very first fan, band mate, and dear friend of mine, someone i’ll call sunshine for now.” you said and yuki’s head snapped to tenma, who was looking at you with a small smile
“he said he’d be front row when i had my stadium show, and...” you trailed off, turning to the summer’s troupe location as the group members excluding yuki and tenma excitedly talked amongst themselves (“oh my god, does NATSU-mmer recognize us?! let’s invite them to our opening night next month!”)
“he is.” you finished, smiling as the tears you kept in glistened under the light. tenma roughly wiped under his eyes, hoping no one noticed as he made eye contact with you for the first time in years
“this is for sunshine, the first song we ever wrote, called sunflower dreams.”
you stepped up and placed the mic on the stand decorated with vines and yellow petals, swinging your guitar around to the front as tenma recognized its sunflower pattern. he knew both your names was signed behind it
“hide all the feelings in your heart, someday the season will go on and change.” you sang, the whole stadium silent with the single spotlight on you. you stood center, like it was the elementary music room again
tenma held his breath, trying not to sing along to avoid the confused looks of his friends. he knew every word, even though it was unreleased. you two worked on the song so hard, it became the only song you two finished to completion
“as i looked at the sky, it was a faraway dream,” you opened your eyes and looked directly at him, like he was still the same shy kid who hid behind the wall just to hear you sing. for a moment, tenma went back to that time like it was just you two again
“we’ll reach that sky someday.” you smiled before you heard your own voice, remembering something about the promise: “no, you’ll be backstage! or better yet, on stage with me!”
without thinking, you quickly grabbed a microphone left on stage and turned it on, tossing it to tenma who didn’t drop it this time
sunmer troupe exchanged wild glances between each other as you went to their side of the stage, holding your hand out with a shaky smile
“you know the rest, right, ten?” you asked, afraid to move back before tenma nodded, not caring about hiding his identity as security let him through
although there were tens of thousands of people, tenma took your hand and felt like you two were back in school together, just practicing like always
(your hand was smoother, but you still had the same callouses from playing guitar)
you started strumming again and it didn’t take any effort before you two bounced off each other like before, singing sunflower dreams like it was just yesterday as fans made the connection sumeragi tenma was on stage
(“oh my god, tenten!!!” kazunari shrieked, recording despite his full phone storage. muku was sparkling, dreamily calling it a manga moment as misumi said something about you being one of tenma’s three happinesses. yuki just smiled, he knew it)
when you two ended the song with your (not so) secret handshake like no time has passed, you and tenma grinned as you two immediately hugged on stage
“ten, i knew you’d remember.” you whispered, and tenma just smiled even bigger as he ignored the crowd’s volume
“i knew you’d become a famous singer and win every single music award. you were born for the stage.” tenma said, and you were blinding under the spotlight
you two accomplished your dream for your childhood selves this time: performing on stage together
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Text
Out Tonight (Part 1)
Part 2 ->
Summary: Barba would never admit to being a RENT geek, but when he gets drunk and no one from the SVU squad is there to see him, he can’t resist the siren call of the karaoke stage. You would never approach a stranger at a bar, but when you hear Barba singing your favorite musical, you gather the courage to ask for a duet. 
Rafael Barba x Female Reader
Warning: NSFW, 18+, Dub-con!! Everyone is enthusiastically willing, but also super drunk. So... use your best judgement. (No smut this chapter just some intense kissing)
4,144 words
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The thing about Scotch whisky is, it’s a drink meant to be sipped. A.D.A. Rafael Barba drank a Scotch every day, especially after a difficult case. One or two, mulled upon over the course of an hour. 
At over 40 percent alcohol by volume, the practical difference between Scotch, the gentleman’s drink favored by lawyers and Wall Street executives, and the tequila swigged by rednecks ripping their shirts off at a dive bar is the speed at which the beverages are consumed.
The thing about being a Scotch drinker is, you’re only ever one particularly bad day and a few extra drams carelessly tipped down the hatch away from getting well and truly shitfaced.
This would never happen to A.D.A. Barba. He had complete control of himself at all times. In the courtroom. In his manner of dress. In his speech. He won cases other prosecutors wouldn’t dare to take on, because he was meticulous. He was relentless. And he never let his guard down.
But on this particular day, nothing was going according to plan. All week, in fact, a case he was certain of had been falling apart piece by piece, slipping through his fingers, until today, a man who made Barba’s stomach sicken walked out of the courtroom a free man.
It was his fault. He got cocky. The victims subjected themselves to retraumatization just to testify on the hope of getting some kind of justice, and it was all for nothing. He let them down. He let the SVU team down. The look on Benson’s face when the foreman delivered the not guilty verdict made Barba want to crawl inside himself.
So he did what he always did on bad days, and went to his favorite bar alone to sit quietly and numb his sorrows over a glass of Macallan.
Except it wasn’t fucking quiet. This was supposed to be a subdued, sophisticated establishment that didn’t draw a big crowd. This was his bar! But for some godawful reason, the new manager had decided—unbeknownst to Barba—to try hosting karaoke night.
Karaoke!
He scowled at the colored stage lights. Glowered at the rambunctious crowds of young people. Seethed at the bad 80’s music and off-key bellowing. He dropped heavily into his usual seat at the bar and exchanged withering looks with the bartender, who slid him his usual drink without needing to be asked. What the hell was happening to his life? Barba began to wonder whether he had anything under control at all, downing the dram in one shot.
As he gasped on the fiery liquid burning down his throat, he gained determination. They were not going to take his bar from him. Not a chance. If these tourists and college kids wanted to have their revelry, they would have to do it with a grumpy old killjoy glowering at them. He ordered another round.
***
An hour and a steep tab later, and Barba was gripping the microphone with sweaty fingers, belting out One Song Glory at the top of his lungs.
He rationalized it as “better bend than break,” but the truth was, he had dreamed of becoming an actor before going to law school to please his mother. His inner theater geek was always waiting to slip out whenever he let his guard down, but since that was never, it was side he rarely indulged. Tonight, his head was spinning, and it didn’t seem like a bad idea.
“One song to redeem this empty life. Time flies—and then no need to endure anymore!”
The wooden bar stool creaked as his weight sank back down on it, and he ordered another drink to question about his life choices. “Will I ever be remembered for anything besides my failures?” he asked the glass. He’d come this far from the poor barrio where he grew up, but every step was a fight. He couldn’t just be good, he had to be better than the privileged WASPs he was competing against. He had to be the best. Every little mistake, every lost trial, could be the end of all he had worked for.
Barba was so busy nursing his latest drink, he almost didn’t notice someone else drunkenly belting a track from RENT. Except, as his head swung up to listen, it wasn’t drunken belting at all. A woman with a low-cut blouse and tight jeans that hugged her curves was singing so seductively, staring right at him. She winked and sweetly begged him to take her out tonight.
No—he was imagining it. He was just drunk, lonely, and pathetic. She was working the crowd, making everyone feel like she was singing just to them. Maybe she was a Broadway performer to have that skill, or at least a master at flirtation. Either way, she was way out of his league. There was no chance she had singled him out.
***
So what if you didn’t know anybody, and it was dangerous to go alone? You were in Manhattan on a Friday night—you were going to go out and have a good time, dammit!
The promise of karaoke drew you into a small but packed bar, and you were a few drinks in when you heard a voice like an angel and a rock-star had a baby singing a song from your favorite musical ever. The voice belonged to a singer wearing old-man suspenders, a pink tie, and a light coating of stubble from not having shaved since morning. He was fashionable, you guessed. Dapper. But it was that expressive voice that mesmerized you. As he sang, your gut was wrenched with the emotional pain woven through each note.
You were smitten. You tried to go talk to him, but the moment the song was over he vanished into the tightly-packed crowd. It was silly. It was far too bold to approach a stranger in the big city, but the warm tipsy feeling in your gut gave you confidence to hatch a plan.
Step one: Locate him from the stage.
Step two: Impress him.
Step three: Bond over mutual love for RENT.
Step four, if you managed to get that far, was a bunch of squiggly question marks and “kiss his face?” hastily scrawled in pencil. It was a long shot, you knew that. You were way too shy, and he was far too handsome not to have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a husband. Frankly, even if he were single, he was way out of your league. But still, the nebulous step four could simply be “Have a fun night with your new karaoke buddy,” and that possibility alone made you feel like glitter was exploding inside of you.
When it was your turn to sing, you found him from your elevated vantage—he was sitting far from the stage, at the end of the bar—and tried to catch his eye. You’d been using Out Tonight as your karaoke icebreaker for years, so you’d gotten good at playing up the sexiness, tossing your hair and biting your lip. Your clumsy ass had even picked up a few dance moves to spice it up, and you gave them your booty-shaking all when you saw him look up at you.
You were glad you’d worn the jeans that made your butt look fantastic, and your sexiest, strappiest sandals (which were actually Tevas with a two-inch wedge heel, purchased from an outdoor gear store). He was watching you with fascination as you pouted the lyric, “don’t forsake me,” at him.
It sent a shiver down your spine to think he might really be looking at you that way.
The moment you got off the stage, you were bombarded by guys offering to buy you a drink, asking for your number. It was discouraging that Sexy Suspenders was not among them. Apparently your sexy routine worked, but entirely missed its intended target. Then again, a man like that probably let women come to him.
Ducking and weaving past your suitors like they were physical obstacles and not people, you reached Suspenders. The bar stool next to him was open, held by a briefcase and folded suit jacket. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, and his hair was a little mussed. He appeared to be deep in conversation with his empty glass. You took a step forward to approach him, but an anxious constriction in your chest froze you in place.
Who do you think you are?! A gorgeous, sharp-dressed city guy will never even give you the time of day! Your mother’s nagging voice chimed in to warn you not to talk to strange men in bars when you’re out alone, in New York City, no less. You grimaced at your awesome double-dose of anxiety. He would either laugh in your face, or you were about to get murdered. Hooray!
But there was a loneliness in his demeanor that encouraged you he wouldn’t laugh, and up close, you noticed he was so short you could probably pick him up like a little baby chipmunk if things got out of hand. Ignoring how thick his forearms were, of course. But if he crushed you with those, you would die happy.
***
The next singer on stage had started screeching a rendition of Don’t Stop Believin’ with ten drunk buddies, and Barba was squeezing his eyes closed to try to drown them out, so he was caught completely unaware when a tap on his shoulder startled him.
“Is this seat taken?”
His vision blurred. He had to rub his eyes and look twice to be sure he was seeing who he thought he was seeing. “Mimi!” he blurted. “From the—nice, um—no. No one’s sitting here.”
He moved his belongings to the top of the bar, and you sat on the vacated stool, quite pleased with yourself. The bartender immediately handed you a pink icy cocktail with a slice of lime, and pointed his thumb to someone at the other end of the bar who paid for it. Barba followed his gesture to a very cute guy in his twenties and felt a twinge of double-edged jealousy that the most beautiful woman he had ever seen was most likely about to get up and leave him, and that the drink hadn’t been for him, because frankly, he couldn’t blame you. You did get up, but only to crane your neck to find your benefactor. When you did, you gave the world’s dorkiest thumbs up, while conspicuously putting your hand on Barba’s shoulder.
Barba’s lips spread into a smug bastard what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it smirk as he stared down his attractive rival. His head cocked to the side pleasantly. The other man’s flirtatious gaze fell into an annoyed tick. You sighed with relief as he moved away.
Turning back to Barba, you realized your hand was still on his shoulder and quickly removed it. You inhaled and said, “I heard you singing you were amazing do you want to do a duet together? Can we? I love RENT! I’ve always wanted to do Light My Candle—can we do it together?” in one breath.
Your flurried gush of words nearly knocked him off his stool—he put his hands up defensively and sat wide-eyed, nodding slowly as you went full babbling-nerd on him. You may not have been as suave as he initially thought, and oddly enough, he was okay with that. It was disarming, and your enthusiasm was infectious.
Because his instinct to distance himself from anyone he might risk forming a real emotional connection with wasn’t working at the moment, he grabbed you by the shoulders, locked his piercing eyes with yours, and emphatically answered, “Yes. We must!”
***
Having a karaoke partner is essential for Broadway musical numbers, as most of them are duets—two or more characters interacting with each other as the plot of the show advances. Light My Candle was one of your favorite songs, and snagging the mysterious suspendered singer meant you could finally perform it outside your shower.
It was a bouncy back-and-forth duet that was fun to sing, but you forgot how aggressively flirtatious it was until you had to ask him—you hadn’t even asked his name yet—if you had the best ass below 14th street, and about wax dripping between your… um, fingers. But the way he looked at you made seducing him so natural. You just had no idea if it was part of the performance, or if it was real.
When the song was over, you bounced on your toes, clinging to his arm for balance as you tripped on the stairs down from the stage, squealing, “That was so much fun!” He put his hand around your waist to steady you. It felt like it was made to be there.
His face was flushed red and his eyes sparkled with exhilaration, and he quickly agreed to another duet, though he muttered, wiping a light sheen of sweat from his brow, “Thank god no one from the precinct is here.”
Performing together with a partner always makes you feel a connection—even if it’s just drunken karaoke. When you sang one part of a harmony and he picked up the other part, your voices became two halves of a whole. And with musicals, it’s as much about acting as it is singing. He threw so much emotional intensity into the lyrics, which gave you something to respond to, throwing it back at him in fluid conversation as your voice soared above his and dove beneath it again.
You hadn’t had this much fun in a long time, and you had a feeling he hadn’t, either.
Not that you had any way of knowing, really. You guessed it by the ease in which he embodied Roger’s stubborn refusal to open his heart, by the mournful way he lifted his drinks to his lips like he was toasting at a funeral. His expensive leather briefcase and formal attire, too, suggested a well-paid but dreadfully boring line of work, like a financial manager.
Your guess was dead-on, in truth. Barba was vigilant against dating anyone he met professionally. Even if there had been a secretary or paralegal or two he’d had chemistry with, for the sake of his career, he could not afford to conduct himself in a manner that could raise even the hint of a scandal or ethical conflict in the workplace. And anyone he met outside of the workplace… well, he didn’t. His entire life revolved around his job.
The bartender had just brought a fresh round of drinks, and your head rested on your fist, elbow on the bar. Barba was staring deeply into your soul with those pretty green eyes, trying to figure out how he managed to get you and how he could keep you.
“We should do Another Day next,” you grinned.
“Who do you think you are, barging in on me and my guitar!” He sang in a gritty rock voice, poking at your chest accusingly while holding an air microphone with the other. You forgot to be surreptitious and blatantly checked for a wedding ring.
After Roger’s verse, you sang back Mimi’s part, seductively leaning in closer to him. “There’s only us. There’s only this...” As you leaned closer, his eyelids drooped, and his eyes darkened. “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” The smoky smooth molasses of Scotch was strong on his breath. He studied your face hazily, his eyes drawn down to the movement of your lips. There was no mistaking his attraction for a performance now. You sang softer and softer until your forehead was resting against his, your lips almost touching. Then you just breathed.
“No day but today,” he mulled the lyric and the impulsive circumstances that had led him to being with you in that moment. “I should follow that advice more often.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” you murmured. “Here I am in the city, having fun,” your voice slowed to a crawl as your eyes flicked up and down his face, “...with a perfect, handsome stranger...”
His tongue ran over his lower lip again as his eyes dropped to your mouth and clouded over with some sultry thought.
You’re not sure which one of you moved first, but in the next moment his lips were melting into yours, desperate and passionate. That tempting tongue of his ran along your lower lip now, sliding easily inside as your mouth parted to invite him within, swirling in heated wet circles around yours. It was heavy with the taste of Scotch and the faint bitterness of coffee, as if that were all he’d eaten that day. You curled your fingers into his hair and deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth, and his broad arms closed around your back and pulled you off your bar stool onto his lap.
His skin was burning hot, and waves of heat coursed up through your body like you were both on fire. Your pulse thundered in your ears until it drowned out the off-key music, and each pounding heartbeat sent a corresponding throb to your cunt. Your eyes closed. All that existed was the messy clashing of your teeth and tongues, the woody-sweet scent of his cologne filling your lungs, the heat of his strong hands on your back, and the bulge of his cock twitching beneath you.
When you finally had to come up for air, and hopped back onto your own bar stool, suddenly self-conscious of how pornographic that nearly was, all he had to say was, “I’ve never done that before.”
You blinked. “You’ve never… kissed someone?”
“Not someone I just met in a bar!” his eyebrows shot up and he sounded so utterly scandalized, your euphoric high from kissing him came crashing down. He saw you as some kind of cheap tramp for kissing him. Pretentious asshole. Suddenly you felt like shit.
You turned your attention to the second round of that fruity cocktail that random guy paid for. It turned out to be a pretty tasty drink, so you ordered another. Maybe you should have given that guy a chance.
“So, are you here by yourself?” Barba asked your profile, not bothering to hide the patronizing concern in his tone.
“Yeah,” you said without looking up.
“Jesus. I thought so. That’s really dangerous, you know.”
“Ugh,” you groaned and pivoted away from him further, leaving him confused. So first he implied you’re a slut, and now he was pulling the whole, the city is full of predators, but I’m a Nice Guy—let me walk you home routine. This is what you get for picking a guy based on how good he sings.
“I did not mean to imply that. I only meant that I’m usually more... careful.” Oh. You must have said all of that out loud. Oops. “But you’re right to be suspicious of my intentions. There are… all kinds”— he breathed the word out in a jaded huff—“of tactics predators will use. Manipulations, brute force, drugs, fake personas… And all they have to do is claim consent and half the time the jury believes it even if the physical evidence is horrifying.” He was getting visibly angry thinking about it, his drink dangerously close to spilling as he clenched his fist around it.
You stared at him. “Um.”
“Oh,” he cleared his throat, “I’m an A.D.A. for Manhattan. Prosecutor. I’m a lawyer,” he clarified when the acronym earned no look of recognition in your eyes. “Lately I’ve been working with the Special Victims Unit, so when I see someone drinking alone late at night, talking to complete strangers,” he gestured at himself. “You have no idea how many sexual assault cases start with this exact scenario.”
“Big-shot lawyer, huh? Sure, now pull the other one.”
“What?” His head cocked at you in utter bewilderment.
“Pull the other… leg. You’re pulling my leg?”
“I know what it means, I’ve just never heard it said by anyone under sixty. Are you secretly an old man?”
Your cheeks burned. “You’re an old man,” you retorted childishly.
His lips folded in on themselves as he tried to keep a straight face. “I don’t know. What can you tell me about the Model T?”
You took a grumpy swig of the fruity strawberry cocktail.
“What was World War II like?”
“So are you really a lawyer, or do you just use that line to pick up chicks?”
“I am, I am!” he laughed. “I can prove it. Let’s see...” he pulled out his phone, brought up a search result for his name, and scrolled through headlines. “DA’s Office Helps NYPD Persecute Immigrant Families,” “Justice at Last for Serial Rapist Victims,” and others rolled across the screen. He narrowed his eyes as his index finger hovered over each one. “Oh, sounds like I’m an idiot in this one,” his mouth twitched into a sardonic smirk, “and I’m a real asshole here… Oh, look, here’s one where I’m the big hero.” He held out his phone so you could see the photo of him in another flashy suit and bold tie, speaking to crowd of reporters in front of the courtroom steps. He looked so sexy in his full three piece suit, and much more severe, his face hard and intelligent. The caption below it praised his victory putting away a notorious rapist, and identified him A.D.A. Rafael Barba.
“Wow. That is you. Who knew I was doing karaoke with such an important guy?” You slung your arm around his shoulders, which were irresponsibly broad and solid. God, being with him felt so right. Casual touches were so comfortable even though you’d just met, and the way he responded, melting under you, sent a wave of heat through your lower back.
He kept flipping through headlines, his brow quirking a little at one, eyes narrowing at the next. Then he saw one that made him stop scrolling. He put the phone down on the bar and scrubbed his hand over his face and hair, blinking back tears suddenly forming. You caught the glowing screen before it automatically locked. The headline was from today. “Local Teacher Found Not Guilty—.”
His head dropped into his arms on the bar. “It was my fault. If I had done something different, been more prepared...” A sad groan emitted from the Barba puddle.
“I’m sure you did everything you could,” you soothed, and rubbed his back sympathetically. “So one guy got acquitted. It happens every day.”
“I know,” he growled. This fact was the opposite of comforting.
“You’re sure he was guilty?”
“He did it. To at least a dozen kids over the last two decades, but no one wanted to testify, or the statute of limitations was up, and then our key witness… There must have been something I could have done, something I didn’t think of. I let him get away with it.” His shoulders heaved as he sobbed into his arms. “I fucked up.”
You kept rubbing circles over his back, whispering soothing words to him. You leaned down and peppered his head with soft kisses. He shifted off the top of the bar and began crying into your chest, his arms wrapping around you like a baby lemur. You held him tight, suddenly understanding that this was the memory he came here to drown. This was why all night you had caught him looking wistful every time the conversation lulled. “I’m sorry,” you murmured. “It’s alright. Shh.”
His arms tightened around your waist, then relaxed, tension melting from his body. “This is nice,” he sighed into your shirt, enjoying being snugly pressed against you, surrounded by warmth. “Thank you… this is nice.” He never let anyone comfort him like this. Never let his need for comfort show under his stoic exterior. If his judgment were functioning properly, it would have struck him as a red flag how easily he sought comfort from a stranger that he wouldn’t have accepted from his closest friends, but it felt good to let it out.
Eventually, he remembered his dignity and sat up, drying his eyes on his sleeve and glancing regretfully at the wet splotch he’d made in your shirt.
“Sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. He picked up his latest glass of scotch, and swirled its half-empty amber contents before setting it down again. It was possible he had drunk enough.
“It’s OK. You had a bad day.”
His lips tightened at the corners in agreement. “Usually Liv is the only one who tries to cheer me up. So, thanks for…” He closed his eyes and tilted his head. “You’re very nice.”
Your chest fluttered. He was terribly cute, and far too vulnerable for you to be having these lascivious feelings about him.
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nutty1005 · 4 years
Text
Xiao Zhan – Beijing Beijing
Translator’s Note: This article comes from PEOPLE Magazine 2020 2nd Issue.
In between “seems beautiful” and “very beautiful”, there can be one or many different views. For example, the phrase “famous after a battle” (TN: Xiao Zhan’s “Zhan” sounds like battle in Chinese), we could analyze the keywords in many ways.
Xiao Zhan, born 1991. Could you imagine how you and I would be when we were 28? Xiao Zhan is like this –
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Fan View
“His looks are totally my type” “As warm and gentle as jade, a gentleman who is peerless” “A precious boy with the soul as crystalline as prismatic glass”
“Famous after a battle”, is the most effective “wartime story”. Using this analogy in the entertainment business, there are many who had been battling for quite a while. Xiao Zhan is like this as well…
Audience View
The summer of 2019, the antihero Wei Wuxian (portrayed by Xiao Zhan), came from “The Untamed” into the living rooms of countless viewers, and straight into their hearts;
Platform View
As the Beijing TV Spring Night Spokesperson, as a celebrity with more than 20 million fans on Weibo, as Tencent’s “Most Popular Artist of 2019” and “Drama Actor of the Year”, as iQiyi’s “Breakthrough Popularity Actor of the Year”…
When we change our point of view, will the world become more interesting?
With regards to his looks, Xiao Zhan said he is “ordinary”, and only scored himself a 6.
With regards to his age, Xiao Zhan said his mother’s method of urging him to start a family has went from straight-to-the-point to indirect and tactful.
With regards to “famous after one battle”, is it really as straightforward as standing out from the big data and being ahead of everyone else? Xiao Zhan, who is 1.83m, reduced his weight from 70kg to 58kg for his outstanding portrayal of Wei Wuxian – is this really the result of a day’s work? Does anyone remember the hardworking youth, with a caption “Designer from Chongqing”, from the 2015 idol search variety show “X-Fire”? Does anyone remember that in 2016, after debuting as the lead singer for X9, Xiao Zhan admitted that there were instances of zero income, zero entertainment and zero social activities?
No matter whether it was “very beautiful” or it “seemed beautiful”, would it be free of worries?
Xiao Zhan looked down and smiled, slightly bashful, his expression serene, “Sweet worries.”
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He actually loves Beijing so much
On 28 Feb 2019, I (a reporter) entered a dressing room in Beijing TV. The narrow and long dressing room had been split in the middle into two narrower sections. Near the corner, after the staff has dispersed, I finally set my eyes on Xiao Zhan, who sat obediently on a chair while styling his hair.
The stylist stood on the right of Xiao Zhan; to the left of Xiao Zhan was a giant suitcase. After we tried to push the suitcase aside, I managed to stand in the gap. In such a tight space, I could only put the phone in front of Xiao Zhan, on top of the opened makeup case, for voice recording. After some more effort from everyone, there was finally space for the phone.
He was covered in a white hairdresser cape, his long legs enveloped by a pair of black pants – his thick black hair was being kept in order, his handsome side profile, relaxed and natural attitude, polite words, and after some close observation, no piercings on his ears.
How did this unguarded Xiao Zhan look like?
There was no need for exquisite words, just simple and pure wonderfulness.
If it remained unimaginable, it would not be too complex to imagine the warm smiles of the good looking youths on the streets of Beijing. All of these people could have been born in Beijing or traveled to Beijing from their hometowns.
“Chongqinger” Xiao Zhan said, “Beijing, in fact, besides my hometown Chongqing, is my longest lived in city. If we use 2020 to calculate, it would have been 5 years. Beijing, is a striving city, and like any other youths, Beijing means dreams and endeavors to us – this is a city of ambition. Hence, as Beijing TV’s Spring Night spokesperson, I feel that this special meaning, I’m very happy and very excited.”
Indeed, during the release conference in the afternoon, when being asked about how he felt spending his “Year of the Rat” Spring Night with Beijing TV, and expressing that by singing, Xiao Zhan, who was nicknamed “The Little Chinese Music Archive”, thought about it seriously and suddenly sang, “I’m beautiful, beautiful, beautiful……”
Haha, this quick wit and humor was almost as cute as “The Chipmunks”.
Spring Night is a big event, and it required absolute secrecy. We secretly asked Xiao Zhan about Beijing TV Spring Night from his personal point of view. Xiao Zhan continued to be witty, “I feel it’ll be exciting, at least I’ll be performing with a… senior that I really like.” When asked who it would be, Xiao Zhan smiled, “Let’s keep it a mystery, and we welcome everyone to watch Beijing TV Spring Night!”
This “Chongqinger”, who still could not confirm if he could return to his hometown for Chinese New Year, would sometimes show his inner thoughts – “If I could go back I definitely would”, but yet his words lingered on Beijing TV Spring Night.
Xiao Zhan, he actually loves Beijing so much.
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He actually likes Zhou Xun so much
Who are the actors that Xiao Zhan admires the most? If he were to pick two, it would be Zhou Xun and Tony Leung.
Xiao Zhan said, “I really like Zhou Xun, her views, her experiences, are all mesmerizing to me. She has many performances that give me the urge to rush into the screen to rescue her. Her performances are very vivacious, it feels like you’re beside her experiencing her performances with her, my attention is all on her, she just has great charisma.”
Xiao Zhan emphasized that he liked Zhou Xun all along, and as we stood and studied his side profile, his face, we suddenly remembered a classic scene from “Palace of Desire”, where the young Princess Taiping removed Xue Shao’s mask.
That year, Zhou Xun was 26, Winston Chao was 40, but it did not prevent her from portraying a young girl’s infatuation. This drama was almost 20 years old, and the female audiences at that time would exclaim that Winston Chao was “as warm and gentle as jade, a gentleman who is peerless”. If this seemed familiar, this phrase was also used by many of Xiao Zhan’s fans to describe him.
Time, in the long river of ages, cycles endlessly Memories, in our past and present lives, crosses endlessly
– Lyrics from “Yu Nian”
This is the lyrics from Xiao Zhan’s song “Yu Nian”, which is the ending song for “Joy of Life”. Who knew that time cycles? Who knew that memories crosses paths?
As of now, Xiao Zhan is similar in age to Zhou Xun’s age then. If we could time travel and Xiao Zhan were to act as Xue Shao, could we guess the ending?
And since we are at this point, we could add another statement – “Traffic” / “Celebrity” / “Actor” – what difference do they make in the face of time? If there are no answers, why not listen to Xiao Zhan’s “Yu Nian”.
Time will tell, it is just that we are too impatient – regardless of our need for speed, we still ought to seek the truth.
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He actually admires Vincent van Gogh so much
Xiao Zhan, like many of us, went through the tough period of studying overnight for university entry examinations. He became a student of Chongqing Business and Technology University, majoring in Design. However, this did not prevent Xiao Zhan from becoming a “Top 10 Inter-school Singer”, he self mockingly called himself a “literary enthusiast”, but in fact became one of the stars in many girls’ eyes – someone who was good looking, tall, stylish and could sing and take photographs. Immediately after he graduated, he became a designer, but he would still be brought up by his ex-teachers, one of whom recommended him to participate in “X-Fire”.
When reviewing “X-Fire”, you would realize that Xiao Zhan had a round face, an obedient expression and mild temperament – in fact, you would think that he did not pose much of a threat. But as one by one, the youths started getting eliminated, as their teams were getting regrouped, as they were getting more and more difficult tasks, it seemed as though Xiao Zhan was being sculpted on the spot – his face became more chiselled, he started slimming down, his eyes started having the steady gaze of ambition… Talent search variety shows are, in fact, cruel and all the participants were getting re-sculpted and remodeled – whatever that was removed was not the meant to be in the final product.
So what did Xiao Zhan keep in his heart? These were all the passwords to his past – drawing, design and art. Like anyone who learnt design, they all had an artist that they favored, and they were all different. Xiao Zhan’s answer – Vincent van Gogh.
Xiao Zhan said, “I was asked previously – if I could have a conversation with a past personality, who would it be? I would just choose Vincent van Gogh, because I want to listen to what he had experienced then, how he lived then, such that he was able to create such a beautiful world and paintings. Such as “Starry Night” or “Self Portrait”, I feel that he was able to step away from himself, into very amazing angles, and then create them.”
Those who learned design would usually be able to draw quite well, and usually beyond the levels of self taught hobbyists. Hence, these would also become part of his self cultivation.
Xiao Zhan confirmed this, “Yes, I think starting from aesthetic views to detailed observation, I feel that there were definitely influences.”
On whether Xiao Zhan still went to art exhibitions, the question seemed like a luxury to him – his eyes widened, he straightened himself, and he started smiling widely, “There is very little time now for art exhibitions, I would see them via friends who went and posted in their social media, or those art-related media accounts.”
There could be no burden I could sway my head I could stay my steps I could surrender to you
– Lyrics from “Two Tigers”
This is the promotion song from movie “Two Tigers” sung by Xiao Zhan. There was once in a variety show that he was requested to use his facial muscles to move a cookie on the side of his face into his mouth, while singing. Before the game started, Xiao Zhan pointed at the camera and laughed, “I really do have an idol’s image burden! I really do have an idol’s image burden!” However, after the game started, you see no sign of his “burden”, just 100% into moving his facial muscles, working hard to get to the cookie.
What is an idol’s image burden? Is there art in an idol’s image burden? There are no answers, but we can look for it in Xiao Zhan’s “Two Tigers”.
Art often gave the answers to philosophy. For example, an idol’s image burden could be thrown away, hence it is definitely not art; Art follows the heartbeat, follows life, just like the Vincent van Gogh, a man whose life bloomed and withered like the summer flowers, in the hearts of people like Xiao Zhan.
This phrase “A designer who can’t sing isn’t a good actor” seemed nonsensical, but if you think about it, it seemed to suit Xiao Zhan a lot.
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He actually yearns the audiences’ recognition so much
It seemed like Xiao Zhan did gain fame after a single battle, but it was not just one battle – there were more raging battles before then.
The dancing spirit, wearing bright red and green clothes, in “Monster Hunt 2” – the camera panned past him without a HD shot; The minor role of a special agent in “The Rookies” – with some onscreen time less than a minute… And there were more, such as “Star Academy”, “Oh! My Emperor”, “Battle Through the Heaven”, “Shuttle Love Millennium”… Never heard of them? Eh, well this proved a problem – how could there be so many people who became “famous after a battle”?
What next? Xiao Zhan happily shared, “If everything goes well, there would be three roles coming to meet everyone, two period, one modern.”
Alright, the modern role would be Doctor Gu of “Oath of Love”. In fact, there were already naughty fans yelling that they were going to register for Doctor Gu’s hospital. Two period roles from “Douluo Continent” and “The Wolf”. Which do Xiao Zhan like the most? Xiao Zhan was unable to answer, “I feel like I like them all. Three different roles, three different pace!”
So, for the audiences who are already familiar with the two roles from “Joy of Life” and “The Untamed”, which are the ones that are closest to Xiao Zhan himself?
Xiao Zhan shook his head, “They weren’t quite similar to me.”
With regards to his roles, his works, let us get to some quick Q&A.
Q: After experiencing the life of the role, would that some what affect yourself? A: I feel that there are some influences to my usual personality.
Q: Would it make you mature faster? A: I feel that it makes my life richer, it means that I have experienced multiple different lives.
Q: What is your long term goal as an actor? A: If we are talking about long term goal, it is definitely being able to act in a drama that I love, and then gain audiences’ recognition for that. I feel that this is my ultimate term goal.
Q: Which role do you like? How do you live with your roles? A: I feel that there isn’t the most loved, I’m just someone who enjoys the moment. For example, when I’m in the current role, I will invest myself entirely into that role, and then I will cherish him and love him. But when I have to go to my next battle, I will put him down and let him go. And then, I will invest all of my passion for the next one.
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He actually likes to smile so much
Observing Xiao Zhan up close and personal – his head narrow, his face small and firm, the folded long legs were especially straight and long. Xiao Zhan, is really thin.
When asked if he was at his thinnest, Xiao Zhan smiled, “No, I was the lightest during ‘The Untamed’, it was shot with ‘Joy of Life’, that was the period. I feel like I’ve regained more than what I’ve lost.”
Wei Wuxian in “The Untamed” liked to smile, all the time, everywhere; Yan Bingyun in “Joy of Life” was cold, all the time, as cold as ice. These two roles shot at the same time, just the emotions were already poles apart – the effort in switching in between them definitely exhausted a lot of brain cells.
When asked if he remembered his longest working day ever since his debut, Xiao Zhan looked down and smiled, then exclaimed at the same time with me, “A few days!”
Whether he could mentally sustain the current pace was not the main point – whether he could physically sustain was hotly debated. On this, Xiao Zhan replied especially fast, “I could adjust to it, really! I personally preferred a busier schedule, the feeling of being busy, makes me feel more fulfilling, and more sense of security.”
“Sense of security” – Xiao Zhan used this phrase, how did he understand it?
For example, Xiao Zhan said that there were instances of him in bad temper, and then he was asked if he would flip tables. Xiao Zhan was slightly taken aback, and answered with a smile, “I can see that you’ve never done design, a designer is a contractor working for his clients, if the clients have opinions, you need to communicate properly and slowly convince them…”
Everyone has a different understanding and adaptation when it comes to “bad temper”, a lot of it came from experience and self control of emotions – similarly, our understanding and adaptation of “sense of security” would be different as well, because everyone’s sense of responsibility and experiences would be different. For a youth to openly bring up “sense of security” and fight for that, we could only choose to give him our blessings. Because, in the blur of the mind, we could almost see ourselves in him.
Before I could give him my well wishes, Xiao Zhan gave the readers and audiences an especially down-to-earth and warm blessing, “I feel that more well wishes are repeated too often. I will simply wish everyone a smooth path ahead, and then peace and safety would be nice!”
Finally, we would emphasize one point – Xiao Zhan really likes to smile!
Moreover, Xiao Zhan’s smiles are varied – there is gentle, healing, mischievous, surprising, confident, hearty, shy, embarrassed… and every one of these smiles could be extended into a language of its own.
There is this saying about a child who likes to smile…
His luck will never be lacking.
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houseofsannae · 3 years
Text
A Fistful of Munny - Extended End Notes
Notes for A Fistful of Munny that don’t fit within the character limit under the cut!
Please, read the fic before reading this post
           All right! Welcome to the extended notes, in which I go into excruciating detail over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter, because I like the sound of my own voice!
           Let’s start with some more broad stuff that didn’t make the exclusive end notes space. To do the Fistful of Dollars homage, I needed a place where I could have two villainous factions intersecting for Strelitzia to play against one another. After some brainstorming and asking for help from other people working on the Entwined in Trine Sorikai zine (and ultimately ignoring all their very good suggestions (Sorry, guys!)), I eventually realized that the Wasteland from Epic Mickey was a perfect place for this story, both in the sense of having mooks to destroy without Strels committing actual murder, and in the thematic sense of forgotten characters. There was just one issue.
           I hadn’t played Epic Mickey.
           And that is how I spent my summer, playing both Epic Mickey games. Both, because I was looking for a good location to set the story in in-world. Since the Wasteland is based on the Disney theme parks, I was hoping to find one based on Frontierland, their Western section. Such a location did exist – Disney Gulch – but only in the second game. Which meant I had to play Epic Mickey 2, as well. (The first one is a better game, but that’s not really the fault of the developers; they were not given the time they needed to make it as good as the first one. Here’s a video with trivia about the series that goes a little into the development.) I also needed to learn the Mad Doctor’s ultimate fate, since I wanted his Beetleworx/Blotworx to be one of the two villainous factions. In the game, depending on whether you chose the Paint (Paragon) or Thinner (Renegade) path, the Doc is either redeemed… or dead. Neither of which was helpful, so I had to invent.
           But let’s talk about characters and why I picked them in order. The short version for why these choices, at least on the Final Fantasy side, is set-up for later. Obviously I can’t go into detail why. Before that, let’s talk about the Beanie Baby.
           Chi is, as I hope you were able to guess, Strelitzia’s Chirithy. I’ve brought it up several times, but I personally do not like mascot characters. There are a few exceptions, but Chirithies are not one of them. Like I said, KHUx isn’t what happened in this AU, so you’ll have to wait for in-universe answers on why it’s a cat now. Out-of-universe reason is this was the only way I could make it palatable for myself. I arbitrarily decided on a gender for it because as a real cat, it would have a sex. Canonically Chirithies appear to be genderless, and in Japanese refer to themselves with the gender-neutral (but masculine-leaning) boku. I would’ve left Chi that way, save for the fact that he’s a completely normal cat now. (And before you ask, no, not every real cat that appears in KHΨ from this point on is a Chirithy.)
           As for Strelitzia herself, it’s hard for me to pick up a character’s voice when they’re… not voiced. Intonation and cadence do a lot for me mimicking the way a character talks, so it’s a bit more difficult when they don’t technically speak. I tried for a mix between Sora and Kairi, while still keeping her defining character traits of being shy, but also impulsive.
           You may notice that while she’s started remembering faces, if not names, the Player’s name and face still eludes her, despite her (canonical. Deal with it.) crush on them. There is a story reason for this, and will become clear once Luxu takes centre stage.
           The name “Jane” was chosen with more consideration than just “Jane Doe” being the standard name in (at least my corner of) the English-speaking world for a woman of unknown identity. See, the Man With No Name actually has three names. In A Fistful of Dollars, he is referred to (by one character in one scene, once) as “Joe”. “Joan” might have been a more clear homage, but I figure Jane makes sense. And as you might guess, in the next fic, Strels will be going by a different name, still not her own. She’ll remember her name… eventually.
           One might think I could’ve picked any old Cid, and one would be wrong for reasons I can’t explain yet. In fact, I can’t explain much of anything surrounding him yet. What I can say is no, Cidney Aurum is not dead, she’s just not related to Cid Sophiar in this fic verse. An unfortunate consequence of where I wanted to put each of them in the narrative; making them not be related was the only way it made any sense, geographically speaking.
           Hyperion on the other hand, I can talk about. He’s one of the Gremlins in Epic Mickey, and… wait, first things first. Gremlins are from an abandoned Disney film based on a Roald Dahl book, itself based on the cryptids that supposedly haunted airplanes and caused them to malfunction, the earliest known written-down mention of the concept being from the 1920s. The film never got made, but the designs Disney would have used were adapted into a second printing of Dahl’s book, and they were later used in Epic Mickey. Hyperion is, like the publishing imprint that Disney owns, named after a street that Walt Disney used to live on. In-game, Hyperion is in Bog Easy (based on the Haunted Mansion), not Disney Gulch, but his name stuck out to me as being particularly fun, so I picked him instead of trying to figure out what Gremlins actually are in the Gulch (they have names in the files of Epic Mickey 2, but not in the actual game, so it would have been a hunt).
           Regardless of where the setting ended up, for the second villainous faction, I was always going to plop down the good old Don. More things I can’t talk about. For everything FF7, know that I’m always going to be pulling from a mix of the original game, Remake, and Machinabridged. Hence, Corneo’s outfit is a mix of his original and Remake designs (which basically just means he’s wearing blue jeans instead of brown). I didn’t think bringing in his three lieutenants from Remake was necessary, especially since this was supposed to be a kind-of small operation.
           Leslie is picked up and dropped from Remake pretty much unchanged. I needed someone to do the murders Strels couldn’t, and even if he’s not a complete asshole, he’s still mostly an asshole. Have we ever seen small, Materia-like balls used to cast magic before…?
           Onto the fun bits, which is the Disney characters. We’ll start with Percy, who is from a Goofy short called “How to Ride a Horse”, from 1950. And that’s about it. The conceit in Wasteland is that all of the Toons there were basically actors, and they wound up in Wasteland if they were forgotten (that’s not exactly correct, but I’m generalizing). This is interesting, since two of the Toons in Epic Mickey are Horace Horsecollar and Clarabelle Cow, both of whom… are residents of Disney Town in Kingdom Hearts, having shown up in Birth by Sleep. So that’s an interesting continuity snarl that I’m going to just ignore.
           Persephone and Pluto, on the other hand, are from an earlier short called “The Goddess of Spring”, from 1934. It was one of the projects Disney tried as practice for Snow White. If you’re about to protest that his name should be Hades, not Pluto, then you’re going to need a time machine so you can tell them back in the 30s. The Goddess of Spring is a musical, in the sense that every single line is sung. Watch it for yourself. There’s a video with better quality floating around YouTube, but for some reason it’s the French dub. And that’s why both of them sing most of their lines. I tried matching the meter of their actual parts, but Persephone’s doesn’t actually follow a syllabic pattern that I could make out. I eventually gave up and just gave her the meter from the start of the short. Pluto’s was easier to manage (and more consistent).
           The skeletons are Disney veterans, presumably the same ones from “The Skeleton Dance” (1929), but more specifically they’re mimicking what they did in “The Mad Doctor” (1933), the first appearance of our other villain. They’re fun.
           The original Mad Doctor was supposedly named “Dr. XXX”, according to the name on his door. This was before the modern film rating system was put in place; it was a different time. In the original short, the Mad Doctor kidnaps Pluto (the dog) with the intent of cutting him in half and putting his front half on a chicken For Science!, and Mickey follows him to his castle to rescue the purloined pooch. The short wasn’t a musical in the same vein as “The Goddess of Spring”, but… the Mad Doctor’s only spoken lines were a song (aside from evil cackling). While I had already decided to do the “Toons that sang in their short can only communicate through song” with Persephone and Pluto before starting on Epic Mickey 2, I hilariously discovered that the game developers had done the exact same gag with the Mad Doctor, most of his lines in the game being sung. (In Epic Mickey there were no fully voiced lines, so he speaks as normally as anyone else does). Which made it easier to write his songs here, since I could just rewrite his songs from the game. I used to write alternate lyrics for songs back in high school, so this was an interesting trip back in time for me. They were stuck in my head for weeks afterwards, but it was worth it.
           I believe that’s everything for the characters. Let’s talk about Keyblades.
           It irks me that three people in KHUx have the same Keyblade. Ephemer, Skuld, and Strelitzia all have variations of Starlight. Now, in KHΨ, there is only one Starlight, and it belongs to Luxu, so I’m going to have to decide on different Keyblades for each of them. (Ephemer’s has already been decided, and I haven’t started brainstorming for Skuld yet. No I do not need suggestions, thank you). Pixie Petal bears a noted (by KHWiki) resemblance to one of Marluxia’s alternate scythes, so that tangential connection was enough for me. Both siblings have flower-themed Keyblades – it makes sense to me.
           You might notice a few disparities in the magic. These are on purpose, and will eventually make sense. And that’s all I can say on that at the moment. ;)
           Oh, yes, one important thing I probably should have said on the main notes: I’m not going for a realistic depiction of amnesia here. Anything I got right was entirely accidental, and I’m fairly certain there’s not much. There might be a story reason for why it works the way it does… and it might be the same reason why other people from KHUx have or had amnesia in the present day…
           You know what’s funny? Although Orcuses look more impressive than Invisibles, their stats in Days are actually worse. I’m fairly sure that this is because the only time we see an Orcus, it’s actually an illusion cast over Xion so that Roxas will fight her to the death. There are no other stats for them (according to KHWiki), since they’ve never been used elsewhere.
           A friendly reminder that Apprentice Xehanort invented the term “Heartless”, which was why Aqua didn’t know what to call them until Mickey told her. Thus, nobody from the era of the Keyblade War should know the term “Heartless” without being told by someone in present day. “Darkling” was the term they used instead. I’m fairly certain KHUx ignores the continuity on this (so why should we trust its continuity for anything else, hmm?)
           I think that covers everything! Or at least everything I’m willing to share at this point. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate your dedication! ^_^
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aurorawest · 3 years
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⭐️⭐️Hi! Can you give a commentary for anything at all you'd like to talk about? 😊
Thanks! I’ll talk about far away from here and closer to somewhere else. I wrote this fic for Froststrange Week 2021. This fic is about Loki and Strange running into each other in Hong Kong. I did a lot of Google Streetview-ing of Hong Kong, and just a lot of random googling to get some sense of what the place looks like. I’ve never been, clearly. And now I want to go! It looks really cool. I decided to set it on Lamma Island, which is right offshore and has regular ferries. There are two towns on the island and a hiking trail that goes between them.
I went through a couple different iterations of what I wanted the plot of this to be. I knew Loki and Stephen would get drunk and play truth or dare, because those were the prompts, but one of my ideas was that they actually went to a restaurant and ate dinner together. Then I was just going to have them go to a bar. In the end, I settled on them basically having a picnic and drinking the booze Loki had earlier bought to share with Thor.
Throughout this fic, Loki is real thirsty for Strange. There is a lot of innuendo (if you thought to yourself, ‘did she mean to word it that way...?’ the answer is almost certainly YES). As he gets drunker (on baijiu, which I also researched, and have never had), he keeps having these really vivid fantasies. This is kind of the first time, chronologically in my verse, that Loki really confronts that he has feelings for Stephen. He starts out the fic sort of reveling in his sexual attraction, but by the end it’s freaking him out, because he’s kind of realizing that it’s more than that.
This is the section where they play truth or dare to the end. Loki chooses dare. Stephen thinks really hard about it.
He breathed out slowly. “Are you thinking of something?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Strange said. “I don’t—” He swayed. “—don’t want it to be boring. Like, I could ask you to sing. I’ve never heard you sing.”
“You don’t want to,” Loki said. “‘S’not good. 
My head canon is that Loki has a truly terrible singing voice. He also hates singing.
Also!” Coup de grace—Strange couldn’t dare him to sing after this. “I am far too…too…too plastered to remember the words to any of the songs you like.”
Womp womp. Shouldn’t have admitted to that, Loki. I just wrote a bit in an upcoming fic where Loki actually thinks about the lyrics to a song Strange played a lot and about how they apply to his situation (that fic takes place shortly before this one).
“You know them?” Strange asked. There was surprise in his tone.
Stephen is a way better actor than Loki gives him credit for. Loki thinks that Strange doesn’t give away what he’s feeling. And while that’s true...it’s kind of more than that. This thrills Stephen. Absolutely thrills him. It’s a sign that Loki knows his favorite songs. It’s a sign that Loki is interested in music.
“Maybe,” Loki said, only realizing at the last second that he shouldn’t have admitted this. “Or maybe I’m lying,” he added. “That’s why I didn’t choose truth, you know. Because I’m a liar.”
I both love and hate writing drunk people. This line makes me laugh because Loki sounds like an idiot.
“Uh huh.” Strange’s hands were resting on top of his thighs, twitching now and then. “Okay. How about this. I dare you…to tell me the truth about something.”
At first, Loki laughed. But Strange just watched him, looking smug, and Loki’s smile faded. “That doesn’t really seem in the spirit of the game, Steph—St—Strange,” Loki slurred.
This was one of the first exchanges I thought of once I had the plot of the fic nailed down. Strange basically cheats, Loki lets him...and also nearly calls him Stephen.
With a sloppy looking shrug, Strange said, “That’s the dare.”
Loki stared at him in consternation. Then his eyes flicked down to Stephen’s mouth, set into a crooked smirk, and he couldn’t help thinking, The truth is that I want to kiss you right now, but even as drunk as he was, he wasn’t drunk enough to say that. Was it even true? Or was it just…alcohol? Probably just alcohol. He was sure, quite sure, that if he were sober, he wouldn’t want to kiss Stephen Strange. So what if his lips looked full and soft; so what if Loki had always had a weakness for the feel of a well-groomed beard against his face? Just alcohol. And heatstroke, probably.
Does Loki even believe himself here? That’s kind of the question throughout the entire slow burn. Does Loki actually, really believe the bullshit he keeps telling himself, that he’s not in love with Strange? The fun thing with Loki is that he’s perfectly capable of lying to himself. In fact, he often elevates his lies over the actual truth, because he would prefer the lie to be true. So even when he knows it’s a lie, he almost gets into this state where he thinks if he just repeats it enough, he can will it to be the truth. This is actually something that Loki thinks about Thor sometimes - that Thor can just mold reality to his will if he wants something enough. Loki sees himself as telling stories, and he desperately wants the stories he tells about himself to be true. The fairy tale that he isn’t in love with Stephen, though, that’s a losing battle.
His mind turned to the ‘dare.’ There were many things that Strange didn’t know the truth about, some innocuous, some much less so. Some, they had talked about haltingly, but never in great detail. 
This was me hedging—when I wrote this last November/December, I knew that I was going to have Loki and Strange talk about their respective tortures at the hands of the Black Order in an upcoming fic (I’d already written some of that dialogue, in fact).
He could say, I know what Ebony Maw did to you because it was done to me too; 
Somehow, despite shipping Loki and Strange for over a year and adoring both of them, it didn’t really occur to me that they have this in common until like, six months ago.
he could say I understand what it’s like to think you’re someone and find out the opposite. He could tell him about sneaking Jotuns into Asgard, about the fact that he had delighted in being wicked during the Battle of New York because it was exactly what everyone had always expected of him and he was giving them the performance of his life. He could tell him how he’d hated Thor so much, but loved him with an equal fierceness.
But Loki thought Strange might know that last one already.
Strange doesn’t know about sneaking Jotuns into Asgard, but he actually knows both of the other two things Loki lists here.
Taking a deep breath, Loki said, “I think you have a nice singing voice.”
Strange actually looked stunned. That was worth something. For a full thirty seconds, he stared at Loki, a comically befuddled expression on his face. Finally, he asked, “You do?”
Loki compliments Strange very rarely. This is one of the most uncomplicatedly nice things he’s ever said to him.
Loki rubbed at a smudge of dirt on his pants. “Yes.” Flicking his eyes to meet Strange’s, he said, “Nicer than mine. But actually just…nice.”
It would have been so much easier for him to stick with the comparative here. This is character growth, that he admits that Stephen has a good voice, full stop.
There was another long pause. Then, Strange said, “Thanks.”
With a shrug, Loki looked out over the sea. “You dared me to tell the truth about something.” Clearing his throat, he said, “Well then? What about you? Truth or dare?”
Strange rubbed at his beard and Loki wondered what internal debate he was having. What the pros and cons of each choice were. Because Loki knew Strange. 
You can really see the absurdity of Loki’s repeated assertion that Strange and he aren’t friends right here. Loki is absolutely right - he does know Strange; he knows him so well that he can guess what he’s thinking, even though Strange tries pretty hard to hide what he’s thinking from Loki.
He knew that was the reason for the hesitation. Strange was trying to guess how far Loki might needle him.
Another few seconds of silence passed, and then, Strange said slowly, “Truth.”
Oh.
Oh. No jk. Believe it or not, the Oh. Oh. trope doesn’t appear in this series, because Loki never really has that moment of realization about his feelings.
Loki had assumed he would choose dare. Dare was easy. Loki would have dared him to do something stupid, like create a barbershop quartet composed of himself and invite the Avengers and their new young acolytes to a special performance.
I really struggled to come up with a stupid thing that Loki might dare Strange to do, for some reason.
But truth? Oh, he wanted to ask, is that something you want to talk about? The truth? 
This was one of the prompts for the event.
Which he supposed would have been a question that Strange could have told the truth in response to, and Loki could call it done, but…even that felt like opening a box he didn’t want to open.
Questions flickered through his mind. Impossible questions. Does the way you look at me sometimes mean anything? Do you even like men? 
Loki still thinks Strange is straight at this point.
Do you find me attractive? Do you want to kiss me? Do you know what a spectacularly bad idea that is? Do you understand why I can’t?
Loki doesn’t even quite know why he can’t. This moment is almost like...please tell me why I can’t, because I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t quite come up with a good enough reason.
He was so drunk. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, he clearly couldn’t drink this much, ugh, no, not around Strange, not when it was so hot and it had been so long since he’d had—since he’d been with—since he’d had any kind of romantic partner except his own hand.
The last time Loki had fully consensual sex (where he reached climax) is at least decades in the past. Possibly longer. In The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy, Kalmsh goes down on him, but Loki stops him.
That thought made him giggle a little. He had made supremely poor choices today. He was just sensible enough not to make another one.
Strange was staring at him. There was an odd look on his face. Loki couldn’t identify it.
But if he had to, he’d call it…expectant. No.
Hopeful.
Loki knows and tells himself he doesn’t.
Loki’s fingers curled into fists and he asked, “How did you and Wong meet?”
@mareebird suggested this for the question.
The change on Strange’s face was subtle. Nearly imperceptible. Loki was surprised he was able to detect it, considering the state he was in. The hope, if that was even what it had been, dropped away, replaced by…resignation. “I wanted to borrow a book from the library,” Strange said. He smiled, though it seemed joyless. “In Kamar-Taj. He took it too seriously.”
I wanted this moment to be absolutely devastating. To be honest, I don’t think I really pulled it off. C’est la vie. I plan on rewriting this and adding it to my series, so maybe I can fix it then.
“As always,” Loki said. His voice felt like it was coming out far too heartily. As though some line had been crossed and they both needed to retreat, but Loki was acutely aware, horrifically aware, that he had done something wrong, or if not wrong, then something that had wounded Strange in some way, and that was…idiotic. It was stupid. Nonsensical. There was nothing Loki could do to emotionally wound Strange. The man had proved that time and time again. He didn’t take Loki seriously. If you didn’t take someone seriously, they couldn’t hurt your feelings.
It really, really bothers Loki that Strange doesn’t take him seriously. He’s wrong about that, of course, but it’s something that’s driven him absolutely insane from the moment they met. At first it’s more of a like, dick measuring contest, lol. But it becomes much more than that, and the anger turns to this kind of...desperate hurt. Loki wants Strange to take him seriously. His unhappiness over the perceived slight appears many times.
Which was why Strange had never hurt Loki’s feelings, incidentally, because Loki didn’t take him at all seriously, 
Uh huh yeah sure.
this human sorcerer with his lovely eyes, blue or green depending on the light, and his soft-looking lips and neat goatee.
Riiiiiiight.
The two of them lapsed into silence. The drunken buzz had gone out of Loki’s veins entirely. Alcohol—it was fun until it wasn’t. Now he just felt foggy and slow. The world was spinning unpleasantly. How the hel was he going to fly back to New Asgard like this? He couldn’t. Sourness sloshed in his stomach. He’d probably be lucky not to be sick.
Now, this, I felt I described pretty well. It’s such a distinct feeling when you’re drunk and having fun and suddenly you cross some line that you didn’t know was there...and you’re not having fun anymore. And there’s no way to get back.
Loki’s legs felt stiff and he extended them. That other buzz had gone from Loki’s veins, too. It had been stupid. Stupid fantasies. [...]
His mouth was starting to feel dry. The sourness in his stomach was gaining more bite. The humidity in the air wasn’t helping, either. Loki felt like he couldn’t get a breath. He wasn’t quite nauseated, but the possibility didn’t seem far off. If he could breathe some cool, crisp air, he was sure he’d feel better. Everything would probably be better if he could just do that.
Me, writing this: Think back to all the times you’ve felt like shit walking around Disney World!
Strange shifted. Their shoulders had been touching, Loki realized. And now they weren’t.
“I s’posp…s’posp…” Loki grit his teeth. “I…suppose you need to get back to Yew Nork. New York.”
Realistically there would be a lot more slurring in both of their speech, but who wants to read that, honestly. I use that sort of thing sparingly.
There was a silence, so Loki turned his head to look at Strange. He was staring out over the sea, his gaze faraway, like he wasn’t here at all. Not thinking about Loki at all, let alone what had just happened. 
IDIOT. Obviously, Loki is exactly wrong here. Stephen is absolutely thinking about Loki and absolutely thinking about what just happened. His heart is breaking.
Whatever had just happened. Stupid thought. Nothing had happened.
Since nothing had happened, the barren hollowness inside him was just an illusion. And Loki knew about illusions. He was good at them. So that made sense.
I wrote Loki’s internal monologue in a simpler, almost more childlike way here to try to capture his inebriation. And also his sadness. He’s sort of like a kicked puppy here.
“Guess so,” Strange finally said. Without looking at Loki, he laboriously climbed to his feet, swaying alarmingly. Norns. What if he stumbled right off the cliff into the sea below? Flashes of that played out in front of Loki’s eyes, intrusive and horrible, and something that felt awfully like panic clutched at his chest. The idea of Stephen dying suddenly seemed so terrible, so very terrible.
Foreshadowing. Stephen will die in about fifty-five years. Loki will be devastated and never get over it.
Loki got to his feet too, ready to grab Strange if he wobbled too close to the edge of the cliff. But Strange seemed steady enough on his feet, now that he was standing. Silently, Strange unhooked his sling ring from his belt, shakily slipping it onto his fingers, as Loki vanished the empty food containers into his pocket dimension. They were a problem for a future version of him.
Just like Future Emily often has to cover for freaking Present Emily. She’s the worst.
The empty bottle, though—he bent over to pick that up, sliding his fingers over it. He was seized by a sudden, violent urge to fling it into the sea. Except you couldn’t fling a bottle into the sea on Earth without putting a message into it. That was a cliché here. A message in a bottle. A message you couldn’t send any other way because you were stranded. A message that had no hope of actually reaching its intended recipient. What kind of message would he send?
I hate you. I hate this.
Even if it was the opposite.
They’re caught in this limbo where neither one of them has the guts to tell the other how he feels. They quite literally have to resort to games, but even then, they both chicken out. Loki can’t even imagine being able to be honest with Strange about this. He can’t even be honest with himself.
Loki closed his eyes, then vanished the bottle into his pocket dimension, as well. Where had he actually landed his ship? Would he be able to find the way back? Everything seemed murky in his mind. And—this thought hadn’t occurred to him until now—was the ferry even running anymore?
This is your author realizing at the same time that Loki took a freaking ferry to get here.
Perhaps he’d have to spend the night here, leaning against the rocks until he nodded off into fitful, drunken sleep.
As though Strange was reading his mind, he said, “Let me bring you back to your ship before I go back to the Sanctum.”
“Oh.” Right. Stupid. Strange could bring him anywhere, instantly. “I…” It felt as though his head was full of wool. “Yes, that would be…thank you. Don’t think—don’t think the ferries are running anymore.”
Strange finally looked at him. “You think I’d let you walk back to your ship like this? Even if they were?”
His ship is the same one from The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy, The Bifrost, but I don’t name it in oneshots because I don’t like to assume that people have read that fic.
“Like what?” Loki asked. Drunk off his arse, clearly. Why was he even asking? Just to hear Strange say it? Even an Asgardian could be taken advantage of in a compromised state.
Loki has been sexually assaulted many, many times. He’s not really too concerned about it here on Earth, but it’s certainly something that would occur to him. His most recent experience is with the Grandmaster.
But Strange didn’t answer this question. Instead, he asked, “Where is it?”
There had been ships. Big boxes. Loki knew the kind of place. He knew the word. “Um, docks,” he said. “Container ships.” He closed his eyes. “It was Container Terminal 8.” Complete sentences—look at that.
Yes, this involved more Google Streetviewing.
“Okay,” Strange said. He extended his arm and circled the other. The portal started to bloom in front of them, swelling a little before it shrank back down. Orange sparks sputtered weakly. Loki stared blearily. There was a joke here, but the idea of making it seemed devastating in a way that he couldn’t articulate.
I checked with @mareebird before I made this erectile dysfunction joke because quite honestly she’s the queen of sexual innuendo, and I needed to see if it passed muster.
But Strange tried again, and this time it worked. [...] Uninvited, Strange followed him on board, where he stood as Loki drifted to the bridge. Loki mostly just wanted to lie down. He didn’t know why Strange hadn’t left yet.
Clearing his throat, Strange asked, “You’re not going to fly home right now, are you?”
Part of him wanted to say yes, just to see the look of horror on Strange’s face. Would Strange go into Good Guy mode and tell him he couldn’t? There were signs on some of the roads in Norway admonishing people not to drive their cars while intoxicated. Imagine what they’d think about flying a spaceship when he could barely walk in a straight line! 
A stylistic note - I almost never use exclamation points in prose like this.
The thought amused him and he started to giggle.
The feeling faded quickly and he swayed on his feet, then took several unsteady steps to his berth. As he flopped down on it, he said, “I’ll stay here. I’ll sleep it off. That’s what you want me to say, right? You want me to be good. Good Loki, he’s so well-behaved, doesn’t put a toe out of line. Can’t really, can I? I’m a guest here on Earth. We’re all guests.”
This is also me vagueing, because I knew future plot points but didn’t have them totally nailed down. Now that I’ve almost finished with the fic that will directly precede this in the timeline, this was actually pretty spot on. It completely calls back to that, which I didn’t really do on purpose. Gonna pat myself on the back for that.
He stared up at the underside of the other berth. A hard, swollen feeling rose into his chest, a feeling of wanting. Just…wanting. He didn’t know what he wanted. All he knew was that as good as things were now, as much as Thor and he had repaired things, there was something gaping inside him. It would be easy to say it was New Asgard, stupid tiny ugly reeking fishing village New Asgard, but it would be a lie.
Then again, he liked lies. Well, he didn’t like them. They were just easier. Lies were so much easier. The truth was hard.
Lies are easier, which was why he just repeatedly lied to himself in the paragraph above. Doesn’t know what he wants? Right.
He turned away from the raw ache and rested a wrist on his forehead. “Well?”
There was a metallic scrape as Stephen’s feet shifted on the deck. “I don’t want you to crash into the ocean and never be seen again.”
Loki snorted. Suddenly, he felt as though he was going to cry. “I’m sure you’ll see me again, Stephen.”
Every time Loki thinks of Strange as Stephen or calls him Stephen, it’s very intentional.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Strange take a step closer. He looked unsteady, too, swaying, his gaze unfocused, his hands shaking. Mentally, he dared Strange to come closer. Truth or dare.
Why the hel had Strange chosen truth?
The truth was too much. The truth was difficult. The truth was impossible. It was vulnerability and pain and handing your heart and soul over to another person. The truth was something Loki had no interest in. Certainly not whatever truth Strange would tell.
Deep down, Loki knows how Strange feels about him.
Slowly, Strange nodded. He was starting to look a little wan, as though he wasn’t feeling well. Wouldn’t be much of a shock. Loki didn’t feel well and presumably he could hold his liquor better, even with the heat. “Hope so,” Strange mumbled.
Head canon: Stephen actually doesn’t hold his liquor well at all. He never has. Because he sometimes takes painkillers from his hands, he’s even worse at it (I have to thank @nonexistenz for that one). Presumably he hasn’t taken a painkiller in several days in this fic, since he’s still conscious after drinking half a bottle baijiu.
The two of them looked at each other. Loki’s vision kept fuzzing around the edges, but he concentrated on Strange, Strange in his t-shirt and his jeans, looking so human.
In earlier fics, Loki admires how Strange looks in his Master of the Mystic Arts get-up. That shifts over the course of the future fics and Loki begins to find Stephen’s everyday clothes much more endearing and attractive.
Terribly human. Stay, whispered a traitorous voice in his mind. It was a voice that would have him move over on the berth and hold out an arm. An invitation. An acknowledgement.
This is the closest Loki has ever come to an admission of his feelings.
Impossible. Loki closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side, facing the bulkhead. “Good-bye,” he said, knowing he sounded pitiful. He had officially reached the stage where he wondered why he’d ever touched any alcohol ever in his entire life.
It’s a cliché but it will never not be funny.
“Thanks for dinner,” Strange said.
“Welcome.”
“Thanks for…” But Strange trailed off.
Strange probably doesn’t even quite know what he’s going to say here. He’s just stalling, hoping Loki is going to make the move that he (Stephen) is too afraid to.
“Strange.” Loki’s head was starting to hurt. “Good-bye.”
There was silence, then the sound of a portal, which spit, hissed, and closed.
The truth. The truth could go to hel.
Loki hoped he didn’t remember any of this in the morning.
He does remember a lot of it, but he’ll pretend he doesn’t, or chalk it up to drunkenness.
Thank you for asking!! Hopefully you liked what I chose 😊 
Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut
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genesisrose74 · 4 years
Text
Karasuno Boys Singing Headcanons!
A/n: By this point I hope that everyone has seen the masterpiece that is Sugawara’s wonderful voice actor singing Under the Sea, which has won the spot in my heart for cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I then proceeded to go off the deep end of Haikyuu voice actors singing and safe to say I was in no way disappointed, so here’s some Karasuno boys singing headcanons! If you have any requests my ask box is open 💖 enjoy!
Daichi
Is it just me or would Daichi not care if someone heard him singing
He seems like the type of person who hums all the time 
Partly because it helps relax him after yelling at the team all day LMAO He doesn’t necessarily sing with lyrics every chance he gets, but when he does he’s pretty casual about it
He’ll sing in the car a lot, and it was actually the first place you heard him
Boy has a soothing playlist for school days and you always like hearing his voice when he drives you in the mornings
Will hum when you’re both doing schoolwork in his or your house
Doesn’t realize he has a good voice, so he never tries to show off all that often in front of people and thus the team has not heard him full out sing yet
So when they does hear him like, actually singing for the first time at the end of practice they’re SHOOK
Tanaka and Nishinoya instantly start spamming you with texts, asking why you hid away such a precious secret for so long
You’re sitting in the library staring at your constantly vibrating phone like ??? doesn’t he sing all the time?
When you end up texting the boys this question they go absolutely feral
At this point Daichi is losing his voice yelling at the team to calm tf down
Suga is cackling in the corner of the team gym cause he been knew
It’s absolutely chaotic literally someone come save Daichi please-
Sugawara
HAHA GET READY BOYS
Official team mom of Karasuno sings all the damn time don’t even get me started
Always humming some upbeat tune doing schoolwork, cleaning up after practice, in the car, etc.
Seriously when is this sweet baby not singing
The team is well aware of this, especially the sideline cheer squad (Yamaguchi, moi ippon nice serve!) 
Tell me he does not make up rhyming cheers under his breath during matches I dare you
Will literally make up a stupid song on the spot to describe whatever he is currently doing or feeling
Hinata bathroom vibes tbh but it’s even more out of the blue
“Got an A on my exam today, and things are going my way”
“Suga, for the love of everything please stop”
“Daichi thinks I’ll listen to what he’ll say, but I’m singing more anyway”
He is always on board with karaoke whenever Karasuno has team bonding nights
One time you are invited to this by Suga himself and he gets up and starts singing a Disney song haha guess which one 
And as often as the team has heard him sing mans is feeling it tonight for whatever reason and y’all can tell
You have never heard anyone sing Under the Sea so passionately before but it’s a gift and you’re not complaining
Asahi
Boy is so insecure oh my gosh please give him some support
Very shy about singing in front of anyone and everyone
The only time you’ve ever heard him sing was when you were over at his house and he was taking a shower
You had gone downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen and when you come back up he’s singing alongside one of his playlists
You don’t know if it’s because of the steam and the solid acoustics in the bathroom but he doesn’t sound half bad
You try not to startle him as soon as he gets out because you know how flustered he’d get
But then a while later while y’all are studying on his bed you just casually bring it up like ‘You have a nice voice, Asahi’ and that’s all
He’s a little shocked at first that you heard him but kind of smiles and sighs in relief because you liked his singing!! 🥺
Precious teddy bear is totally happy for the rest of the week, like that’s how much your praise means to him sdlkgjfdjsof he’s too cute
Eventually warms up to humming little tunes around you
He’s really blushy when he does but you pretend not to notice for his sake lmao
It makes you so warm inside that he feels comfortable enough to let you hear him
Ennoshita
In this house we do not sleep on Ennoshita
As much as he is the mom of the second years he will flaunt his stuff whenever he gets the chance and this is one of those times
If a generic pop song is on at literally any point in time and he hears it, damn right he’s going to sing 
When it comes to singing Ennoshita is hands down the most chaotic no question about it
Sometimes he’ll actually sing a verse pretty decently
And then the next line is just the embodiment of a dumpster fire and he does not care
These are the only times that Tanaka and Noya get irritated with him and not the other way around
But Ennoshita doesn’t give a shit, he’s so cheeky
Like he’ll be walking through the mall and a banger of a song like Fergalicious comes on over the speakers? You’re done for
Even if he doesn’t know the lyrics at certain points, or deadass does not know any of them at all, he’ll just power through
If there is a sports banquet complete with dancing and music and the team attends, Ennoshita is tearing up the floor and singing his heart out
Honestly you’re a little scared to interfere cause what is he even doing-
He has made quite a few friends from opposing teams with his frankly lunatic level energy
I’m looking at you Oikawa, Tendou 
Tanaka
ANIME. INTROS.
He sounds EXACTLY like that opening singer from Bungou Stray Dogs I wonder why
No but actually we all heard his little song in season one, when he’s late and walking to the gym like what a king-
In summary he is a pretty good singer 
Most definitely a frequent participant during team karaoke nights and everyone enjoys his little performances
When he realizes that girls actually like guys who can sing he starts using this to his advantage 
And surprisingly it ended up working
You’re out at karaoke with some friends one night and you hop outside to get some more food for your group when you hear somebody slaying Rough Diamonds; your mind instantly goes to Food Wars
It catches your interest and then you realize...this dude goes to your school? You are positively whipped
He sees you from the doorway and when he realizes you’re enjoying the song he amps it up another three notches
Achievement get: girlfriend 
Karaoke dates and other such outings happen often, thank you very much
As much as he enjoys singing he does not overdo it like Ennoshita, who has been limited to three songs per night every time the group goes out, please for the sake of everyone’s eardrums
Nishinoya
As Tanaka’s best friend and as the co-president of simps everywhere, Nishinoya is another common singer during karaoke nights
Having fun and maybe picking up a cute girl at the end of it all? That’s literally his life agenda
He either goes for the badass, headbanging songs that are super energetic, or he jams out to the generic and famous pop groups�� songs
There is no in between
Noya has a slightly deeper singing voice but sometimes he’ll go for the stupid high notes for fun and just...completely fails
The fact that he has never successfully hit one of those notes doesn’t deter him in the slightest though; his goal is to get there at least once before he dies
He can sing so many popular TikTok audios and you can’t decide whether to be impressed or slightly disappointed with that fact
Noya doesn’t really sing at practice just because he’s focused, but when he’s walking home or getting food from Sakanoshita afterwards he might start randomly singing something
The type of person who has like a billion different playlists on his phone for the most obscure moods (honestly same Noya)
Like there’s one named “Bad Test Grade But I Won a Free Popsicle Kind of Feeling” don’t even ask 
Will put on a concert in his room and perform a whole lineup of these songs for you
Sometimes you think it’s just so he can avoid doing schoolwork but you let him get away with it occasionally
cause you’d never tell him but it’s so entertaining and kinda hot what
Tsukishima
OH GOD THIS BOY
I swear you have tried time and time again to figure out whatever the hell kind of music he listens to with those chonky headphones of his but you have never successfully completed that mission
There are only two - count em, TWO - instances where you have ever witnessed this embodiment of a salt shaker doing anything resembling singing
Number one was a literal meme TikTok where you were using Beyond the Mysterious Beyond from Land Before Time as your audio
You didn’t expect Tsukki to recognize it at all 
But he’s in the top corner of your phone screen and he is deadass LIP SYNCING EVERY WORD and you’re SENT INTO ORBIT 
DOES HE STUTTER? NOPE
Should have expected that Mr. Dinosaur Obsessed would have watched Land Before Time and loved the all the bops
That video is forever saved in your drafts because he’d literally end you if that went public but you refuse to completely get rid of it
Second time, our french fry child actually sings because Yamaguchi forces him to do a song with him lmao
It only lasts for about three verses but it’s all anyone has heard from him before and is therefore a blessing from above
If anyone has heard these two singing Sarishinohara on YouTube you know what I’m talking about if not look it up it’s an absolute gift 
Literal perfection in a duet like?? Everyone is depressed when they realize that Tsukki’s voice had been hidden from the world until that very moment
We will cherish this short taste of Singing! Tsukki for all time amen 😔🙏
Yamaguchi
Like Asahi, this precious bean is also shy about his singing 
But he will sometimes get a burst of confidence if he’s having a really good day or if someone is singing with him
When those moments arrive they are wonderful 
He sounds like an angel, not even exaggerating he’s just so pure
Has a very light tone no matter how the song originally sounds and it’s really soothing to be honest
When his little bouts of confidence wear off please for the love of God praise him in any way shape or form, it makes him feel good about himself 
On team bus rides to games, he and Yachi will sometimes sing fun tunes together to calm each others’ nerves and it’s incredibly precious
Tsukki will send you videos of this pregame ritual and you have a folder reserved for them in your camera roll 
Everyone say thank you Tsukki
He will sing for you if you’re feeling super down about something because he knows you love it 
Never fails to calm you down and cheer you up, and Yams knows in those moments that he would gladly sing for the rest of his life if it made you smile
We stan one soft, talented bean sprout 
Kageyama 
Another stubborn boy when it comes to singing in front of other people
He will hum on rare occasion but don’t expect much more
You start to realize that whenever he does start humming, though, it’s always the same song, so one day you ask him about it
It’s a song his grandfather used to sing to him when he was little and he uses it to calm himself down
You almost start crying on the spot because you know how much his grandpa meant to him 
Kags says there were lyrics to it but he doesn’t remember them besides a few random words scattered here and there
It becomes your personal mission to find the rest of the lyrics because you’ll be damned if your precious baby goes another day without hearing them again
Finally after countless obscure Google searches you find the song 
But you don’t know how to casually bring up the fact that you had spent hours obsessively looking for them into a conversation-
So one day you’re hanging out with Kageyama, but he’s been in an awful mood all week, and you decide to start singing the song that his grandpa used to but including the lyrics
And when he recognizes the words and puts the chorus together, he instantly relaxes and starts singing it with you
He is so touched and thankful that he can finally recall the song in its entirety, and now you both sing said song to each other whenever the other is feeling down
I love him so much my heart-
Hinata
When you find out he can sing you’re absolutely floored
Literally the only time in his life that Hinata can successfully speak English words and it’s in a song? And it’s coherent?? It’s a miracle
The whole team gets on his ass about sucking at English in class but being able to obliterate those lyrics when they come up in a song and the poor tangerine gets all huffy
hE’s tRyiNg HiS bESt oKaY                
His range is SO GOOD THOUGH WHAT-
You’re in the middle of a store with him and he’s been occasionally singing along to the music from the speakers and at this point you’re not even surprised at how good he sounds
But then he just starts singing in falsetto
BOI- When I say your jaw is on the floor I am not playing games 
The power he holds is beyond comprehension
He’s looking at you confused like did he do something wrong?
When you proceed to flip out over how great he just sounded baby gets so embarrassed how cute
Again, one of those people who just doesn’t know their gift and it makes him even more precious 
I would kill to have his capabilities like imagine the talent; if that whole volleyball thing doesn’t work out there’s also the music industry sir-
In conclusion: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS SUNSHINE A MIC THANK YOU
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meta-squash · 4 years
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The Problem Of Musical Fantine, or What BBC Mis Got Right
So I took a nap at 9pm (yeah, I know) and when I woke up I was thinking about 2014 Dallas Mis for some reason, which got me thinking about Fantines in the various professional/official stage adaptations.
Something I noticed in most adaptations is an interesting glossing over of Fantine’s age. I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel like most stage adaptations age her up. The actors that play Cosette and Eponine are usually about the same age as the actress playing Fantine, and yet she always seems so much older than them. By the time she’d be singing I Dreamed A Dream she’s about 21 or 22, I think? And yes, her circumstances do canonically age her by the end, but it just feels so odd in the adaptation. I think another reason is perhaps the way a lot of actresses sing I Dreamed A Dream itself. Instead of a young, scared, helpless person singing about being even younger and more helpless less than 5 years prior to the song, it always sounds to me like a much older woman singing about many years ago.
Now, I think part of the blame for that is the sheer weirdness of the English lyrics to I Dreamed A Dream. The French concept album version, J’avais reve d’une autre vie, has much more “childish” lyrics. There’s imagery of a prince charming, everlasting love, hearts, childhood, springtime. But it’s also really blunt about what happened. There’s no discussion of god or forgiveness (which, why is that even in the English version???), and there’s no hoping to go back to him. It’s a lot more angry, and it feels like a sort of anger that is angry at both the betrayal of a lover and the betrayal of society. The English version feels so vague in comparison. For example, the English Version: “But the tigers come at night / With their voices soft as thunder / As they tear your hope apart / As they turn your dream to shame.” French version of the same verse: “I paid, with all my tears, / The ransom of a small happiness / To a society who disarms / The victim, and not the thief.” The English version glosses over so much of what the French lyrics hammer home. “He took my childhood in his stride” sounds like Fantine saying “Oh I was so young and innocent but he was so patient and helpful because I didn’t know anything.” The French version straight up says “But my first Prince Charming was the assassin of my childhood.” There’s no playing around. He wasn’t someone who taught her adult things and then left her. He straight up ruined her innocence and took advantage of how young she was and then abandoned this 19 year old with a child.
It’s something I did actually like about the BBC Miniseries version. They make sure to emphasize that Fantine is both younger than everyone else age-wise and much, much less experienced. They also at least mildly show the difference between her and the other grisettes in terms of interacting with the men (playful and shallow vs romantic).
Also, when we meet Fantine in the musical, we meet her back in Montreuil-sur-Mer. All of the humiliation of her backstory, the manipulation by Tholomyes, how young she was, how she was abandoned with a child, we get all of that in one song with mildly shallow lyrics. We’re introduced to her not as a young, innocent, modest girl of 19 but as a hurt, desperate woman of about 24 or so. And I think part of the reason we never realize that her modesty is genuine, or, like....even deeper than most people’s, is because of how sarcastic all the factory women are to her (because they certainly don’t think she’s innocent). So we don’t get her actual innocence and naivety and the pain of that manipulation etc until I Dreamed A Dream, but that sounds like it’s talking about many years ago.
I guess it’s something that I’m thinking about the importance of, upon reading Fantine’s chapters for Brick Club this time around. It’s not just that Fantine is a woman who has been ruined by a shitty man and abandoned by society, it’s also that she never had a chance in the first place. She wasn’t as old or as experienced as the other grisettes, and she wasn’t an adult with a lot of life experience, and she was much more innocent and more head-in-the-clouds than anyone else around her. She made assumptions about her relationships with people and they used that trust and hurt her badly. I think it’s also important that the amount of time between Fantine’s relationship with Tholomyes and her death is less than 8 years.
Again, maybe it’s just me, but the English version of the musical glosses over so much of the important stuff in Fantine’s story, or waters it down. It makes her seem older than she is. Maybe it’s costuming, maybe it’s casting, maybe it’s the fact that they barely talk about how young she is in comparison to literally everyone around her. Because the difference between any of the other characters in the story, from Eponine to Cosette to Les Amis to Valjean, is that they all have at least some interaction with people who are their age (and/or maturity level). But Fantine’s interactions are only ever with people older than her, with power over her. But we don’t quite get a sense of that total helplessness due to both innocence and age in the English version of the musical. On the other hand, BBC Mis makes sure to show that Fantine is much younger than any of the people around her, that the Thenardiers and the people working at the factory and everyone she interacts with is older than her and seems to know more than her or be more familiar with life than her.
I have no idea if I articulated myself well here. I don’t really know if I got across my thoughts, but it’s just some vague observations I had.
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Is It Really THAT Bad?
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Dr. Seuss is no stranger to cinematic adaptations, and even less of a stranger to animation. And whenever Seuss gets animated, you can typically expect good things, as opposed to when his work is live action, in which case you can expect…
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Yeah…
Anyway, imagine the excitement people must have felt when the creative team behind Despicable Me and the writing team behind the underrated gem Horton Hears a Who got together to do a fresh new take on The Lorax! This was in Illumination’s heyday, before they ended up showcasing that they’re more interested in churning out cheap products for maximum profit, so there was plenty of hope that this could be good. Then came all the commercial tie-ins.
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Now, this alone shouldn’t be indicative of the final product. Maybe stuff like this is just a bunch of suits horribly missing the point of the original story! Maybe the actual film will be better! Well… while the film was no flop, and while it certainly got a better reception than most of the films I’ve talked about here, the film was derided by many for being an extremely shallow and lacking adaptation that adds unneeded junk to a story that didn’t need it in such a way that ultimately dilutes the message. It turns a story that operated on shades of gray and turned it into a cartoonish spectacle that would make even Captain Planet blush. Not helping was the rabid fanbase on Tumblr who shipped the Once-ler with… himself… or Jack Frost… forever tainting the film in the eyes of those on the internet.
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Things got so bad eventually even the [REDACTED] Critic reviewed the film in his usual over-the-top, accentuate the negative style, and as some people still treat his word as gospel, this has most likely colored the perception of the film. So while it’s certainly not to the same level of infamy as the usual subjects of Is It Really THAT Bad? I still wanted to put this movie on here and ask one simple question:
How ba-ah-ah-ad can it be?
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THE GOOD
So let me just get it out of the way: the movie’s villain song, “How Bad Can I Be,” legitimately is awesome and is frankly one of the best villain songs ever. No, I’m not kidding. It’s just a fun, rocking number with some neat visuals, and while it’s a shame the cut rock opera-esque “Biggering” is probably the better song, this one is definitely more fun and meme-worthy. Shake that bottom line!
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Now, the casting is, for the most part, pretty fantastic. Minor characters like the grandma played by Betty White are a lot of fun, but really, the main piece of awesome casting is Danny DeVito as the titular Seuss creation. DeVito as the Lorax is just so incredible, perfect, and inspired that it boggles the mind how anyone could possibly come up with such amazing casting.
As far as antagonizing forces in the film go, the Once-ler’s awful, vile family are enjoyable in a “love to hate” sort of way. While it’s certainly kind of iffy that they felt the need to give the Once-ler more of an excuse for his actions beyond just simple greed, it isn’t so bad that what they came up with was familial pressure. In fact, they’re actually much better at antagonists than O’Hare, the actual villain of the film, and the fact the movie give him so much focus despite having such fascinating characters that would have had a really great thematic purpose; hell, they should have been the rulers of Thneedville instead og O’Hare! There’s so much untapped potential with these, quite frankly, very interesting characters.
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I guess I should say the Once-ler is a pretty decent character in and of himself, but he very much suffers from the same problem the Jim Carrey Grinch does – he’s a good, enjoyable character in his own right, but he’s not a very good Once-ler. In fact, he at points borders on “in name only” territory. Still, he does have a pretty solid arc, and that villain song slaps, so… I think he’s solid, and Ed Helms does a good job voicing him.
THE BAD
Jon Lajoie, while in character as his misogynistic moron rapper MC Vagina, said this:
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When I first heard this lyric, I didn’t understand it… but his words were a prophecy, because that is, in all honesty, the plot of this film. Our flavorless protagonist Ted really just wants to get the Truffula trees back so he can get into the pants of the local smoking hot redhead hippie, Audrey. It gets to the point where Ted’s motivations are so boring and shallow that Audrey actually would have made a far more interesting and compelling protagonist, seeing as she already has an inexplicable knowledge of the trees and cares about nature. When they already changed so much in the story I don’t see why they couldn’t just make the protagonist a girl while they were at it. As it is, she barely has any presence and feels like a waste, which becomes all the more awful when you know she’s being played by a stunt casted Taylor Swift instead of an actual voice actor or even an actor period. At least Ted is Zac Efron, an actual actor, though he doesn’t do a particularly good job himself.
Then we have our villain, O’Hare. O’Hare has all the subtlety of a Captain Planet villain but none of the cheesy goodness and fun. Sure, Rob Riggle does some good delivery and gives O’Hare some memetastic moments, and sure, his selling of canned air is oddly prescient of things that happened in real life in India (though technically President Skroob Spaceballs beat him to the punch by a few decades) but it doesn’t really redeem O’Hare from being an excessively weak villain who is shoehorned into the plot solely to turn the story into a black and white morality tale. It… doesn’t work at all. What also doesn’t help is that O’Hare has an absolutely repugnant character design, looking like if Edna Mode got mangled by a sixteen wheeler and left in a ditch on the side of the road.
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Finally, this movie just doesn’t really respect the story to any great degree. As mentioned above, it waters down a story that presented arguments from both sides and, while still ultimately showing the Once-ler to be wrong and shortsighted, did have him make some valid points. Here, the story is presented as there being a clear cut good and evil in a horrendously unsubtle and unpalatable way. Yes, we get that extreme deforestation and overuse of resources is bad, you don’t need to beat us over the head with it. It doesn’t help that the film also crams in a bunch of cringeworthy pop culture humor that really doesn’t add much to the story; say what you will about the anime scene from Horton, at least there was a bit of substance and reason for it. Having characters sing the Mission: Impossible theme is just making a reference for the sake of making a reference.
Is It Really THAT Bad?
So I’m gonna say that I don’t particularly find this movie to be good, per se. It’s very dumbed down and more than a little undermined by the various brand tie ins. It is a poorly executed black and white morality tale that was crafted from a very deep and engaging piece of children’s literature, and on that level, I don’t think this movie works even a little bit. Still, there’s some enjoyment that can be mined from this, particularly from some of the more so bad it’s good moments, as well as DeVito’s performance and some actual good moments of story and character. There’s some stuff to like here if you dig a bit, but really, I don’t think you really should have to do a deep dig into The Lorax to get some enjoyment.
Overall, I wouldn’t really say this movie is totally bad, but it’s definitely not good, either; it veers more into the territory of “so bad it’s good,” which is a shame but also kind of refreshing. It’s definitely an interesting film to talk about, and there are a few things about it that work, but ultimately it’s not enough to really raise the film to the level of the classic animated Seuss adaptations or even to the level of Horton. At its best, it’s okay, and at its worst, it actively undermines its own messages. I think the 6.4 it has is pretty fair… maybe a bit too fair, if I’m being honest. I’d give it something like a 5.7 or 5.8.
Again, it’s not the worst thing ever like some might tell you; hell, the adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas Illumination would go on to make is probably a worse movie. But it still doesn’t really do anything that adds to the story its telling, and it ultimately comes off as saccharine, forgettable childish fluff. It’s really a harmless movie, but it’s still probably gonna grate on anyone who holds the original story in high esteem. The {REDACTED] Critic was a bit hyperbolic in his review, but I do think he was right in principle. This movie feels like a calculated, corporate adaptation meant to be as inoffensive and marketable as possible much like every Illumination film post-Despicable Me. And if there’s one thing The Lorax shouldn’t be, it’s “inoffensive and marketable.”
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ladywinterwitch · 4 years
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Dead Girl Walking
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Actress! Reader  (Teather AU)
Summary: The reader is the sobstitute in a off-Broadway production for the Musical Heathers. The female lead can’t do the show, so she gets called in her place where she’ll met the male lead, a charming blue eyed man.
Warnings: musicals, cursing, mentions of smut, mentions of drugs, making out, Seb’s a little minx, other people from the Marvel cast are in here.
Word Count: 5007 (long AF)
A/n: Okay so the idea obviously came to me when I was listening to the song Dead girl walking from the off-bway musical Heathers. It’s my favorite song from the musical and where I find it really enjoyable and funny to listen to, it made me wonder how two actors would be dealing with the performace which is A LOT. I recommend you to see this video if you want to understand better how the dynamic works and to listen to the song.
The songs mentioned in order are Beautiful, Candy Store, Freeze Your Brain, Big Fun, Dead Girl Walking and Seventeen (reprise) 
ps: Yes, that’s an actual gif from the show
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It was a normal day, calm, average. You woke up, read a few times a script for a new audition, went out for lunch with your best friend, came home and started to read some pages of your last purchase, Stephen King’s Gerald’s game.
Now you were chilling on your sofa, with your cat sleeping near your feet, when suddenly the cellphone rang, scaring the shit out of you.
You jumped a little scaring off your pet which ran away. You sighed and streched to reach your phone on glass coffe table in front of you. The number was unknown, but you answer anyway.
-Hello?- 
-Y/n? Thank God, that’s the right number.- You recognized the voice of the director of the theatrical show you auditioned for, Heathers. Unfortunately you didn’t get the part, but you were called back to be a reserve for the main role.
-Theresa? Is everything all right?- you asked, sitting straight and putting your legs down the sofa, two of your fingers used as bookmark.
-Yeah it’s just, you got anything planned tonight? Or, well, right now?- the woman asked a little nervous. You could hear noise in the background.
-No, no. Absolutley nothing, uhm, why?- you basically jumped up.
-Perfect. Then we’ll wait for you at the theatre in like, ten minutes, yeah? See you.- Before you could ask anything else, she hang up. 
-Fuck.- you cursed loudly, literally throwing the book on the table and running to your bedroom. How the hell were you supposed to be ready and get there in ten minutes, when you were in your pajamas, had messy hair and didn’t have a bit of make up on? 
You think quickly and take from the wardrobe a military green dress and a pair of heel boots. Comfortable and quick, but still presentable. Then you rushed to the bathroom, brushed your theeth and your hair to make them look at least deacent. You decided to stuff into your bag you mascara and a dusty pink nude lipstick and you went to your car. You had already put on the musical’s playlist, listening to it while you drove there, just in case.
-
You arrived some minutes later, parked the car in a miracolously free spot and went inside. You entered the stage room and saw that the cast was rehearsing the song “big fun”. Theresa, which was at her director spot under the stage, turned around and when she saw you she motioned for you to come closer. You did, while the others continued to perform.
-I’m sorry, I’m a little late.- you apologized keeping your voice low. She shook her head.
-Don’t worry, our JD hasn’t arrived either.- she said with an hint of irritation, referring to the leading male part. She sighed recomposing herself.
-You can already imagine why I’ve called you, but still. Our actress for Veronica just broke her ankle, so she won’t be able to perform for a while. Are you still available? Tell me right away because you either would have to jump right on the stage and reharse all day until tonight or I’ll have to call reserve number three, which to be honest I wouldn’t be really thrilled to do.- she askedlike someone who definetly didn’t have time to lose.
You were in seventh heaven. You wanted that part so bad. You didn’t have a long resumee yet, and a show so popular like Heathers would’ve opened many doors to you as well as helping to make yourself know to the public. For a moment you didn’t even realized what she had just said. She gave you a side eye and you suddenly came back to your senses.
-Yes!- you said a little too loud, gaining a few eyes from the crew in the pit, but not from the cast on stage who were still singing. You calmed down a bit, before widening your eyes.
-Wait, you said tonight?- Theresa checked her phone while answering with a ‘yes’. You felt stupid for forgetting that.
-Tonight’s the premiere, honey. C'mon now, get on the stage, you have to rehearse and meet the cast.- you did as you were told, going up the stage. The guys were dressed with their own clothes and a man was on the piano. They were just singing and not doing the whole thing, which worried you a little, despite the fact that you knew all the choreographies and lyrics thanks to the rehearsals you did with the ‘backup’ cast. So you didn’t knew anyone from the actual one.
-Guys, we have our Veronica.- you head a few ‘thanks God’ and sighs of relief. 
-Five minutes break then we resume.- she clasped her hands going off the stage to make a call. A little group of people came to you. There were two blonde, fair skinned girls and one with dark curly hair and dark skin.
-Hey, I’m Scarlett, I play Heather Chandler. Those are Elizabeth and Tessa, and they play Heather McNamara and Heather Duke. Nice to meet you..?- she efficiently introduced herself and the other two girls with enthusiasm. You smiled at them, waving slightly.
-Y/n. And well, you already know I’ll be Veronica Sawyer.- you chuckle a little and they smiled. Then two guys joined you introducing themselves as Chris and Anthony, which respectively play Kurt and Ram, the two stereotypical frat boy douchebags. But they were all but that, instead they were both quite attractive and funny, and nice above all.
Then Hayley, a nice british girl, introduced herself too and said she was going to play Martha. You honestly could’ve never pictured her as a stereotyped loser with a few extra punds like the character. She was too pretty and definetly not fat. She had curves and she was stunning. But you knew that the voice was the main requirement to be choosed in this type of castings so you imagined that that was the reason they choosed her. Also, the make up would’ve done the rest.
The director interrupeted your conversation saying that it was time to resume the reharsals, so you all got in position, this time adding the dancing to the singing.
-
You started with the song “beautiful”, then the Heathers trio sang “candy store” and so on, until you got to your personal favorite, “Dead girl walking”. It had gone all pretty smoothly, the director intervening a few times to give advices and correct something.
-Okay y/n, you’re on your own now, I’ll sing for JD. Start at the note.- the piano man said and you nodded, clearing your throat slightly to prepare yourself. He started to play and on the right timing you began to sing, standing next to him since your partner wasn’t there to perform and doing it on your own would’ve been kinda awkward.
You performed beautifully and at the end the crew even clapped. You knew that was one of the hardest songs, so you felt a pinch of pride at their reaction.You blushed a smiled grateful.
-I see you found my new partner in crime.- you heard a deep, amused, voice coming from behind you. You and the rest of the cast turned around. A guy was standing on the door jamb with a smirk. He was tall, had brown hair, a little long just under his ears, and they were pulled back. He was probably the most attractive guy you’ve ever seen.
-What an honor for you to join us mortals. And you guessed right, Sebastian. Y/n will be your Veronica. Probably for the rest of the plays.- Theresa said shocking you. Your head snapped towards her which was looking at you with a grin. You smiled widely, a hand covering your mouth from the surprise.
-What about the other girl?- you asked walking to her. She shrugged.
-We don’t know when she will be able to walk and dance again, plus, your talent is pretty much the same. Only you’re nicer.- she confessed, you shook your head a bit in disbelief and gave her a hug.
-Thankyou, that’s an honor.- you thanked her sincerely. She nodded and tilted her head to the side.
-Don’t thank me, thank your preparation. Now go meet your partner. He’s a bit presumptuos, but he’s good deep inside.- 
You left her with the some other cast member and got closer to the group that surrounded Sebastian. Chris saw you coming and smiled.
-Hey y/n, congrats. We’re happy you’re going to stay with us.- you laugh a bit.
-Thankyou Chris, I still don’t realize it.- 
-Aw c’mon, you deserve it. In any case, we’ll leave you talk, from Veronica to JD.- Tessa held your arm for a second before going away with the rest of the people.
At that point you were left alone with Sebastian. You felt a bit intimidated for some reason. You didn’t know if was for his confident behaviour or the amused look that he was giving you.
-Well, hello there.- he clearly checked you out, keeping his smirk. You understood that he didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, it was just his way to be friendly.
-Hi.- you said a bit embarassed. 
-I would say congratulations, but it would be probably the tenth time, so I’ll just settle with nice to meet you.- he offered his hand and you shook it a few times, a lopsided smile on your lips.
-Likewise.- he didn’t take his eyes off of you. Before you could talk again, one of the producers spoke to everyone.
-All right folks, it’s time to get ready. The people will arrive in two hours and the stage must be prepared. To the changing rooms.- Your eyes widened and your heart started to race.
-Hey now, don’t panic. You were amazing earlier. Just take a deep breath. It’s time to get ready. It’s going to be alright.- he spoke in a reassuring tone that made you automathically smile a little. He started to walk away, then turned back for a split second.
-Well, actually maybe a few drops of alchol would help, just in case.- you laughed and he winked at you.
-
You shared the room with the four girls. It was a bit chaotic, but everyone did their thing professionally and without losing time. After a good forty-five minutes of make up, which was included: foundation, mascara, eyeliner, blush, and a pale cherry lipstick. The red lipstick was actually a tint, because you would have to kiss a lot and certainly there wouldn’t have been time to clean the mess and re-apply it over and over.
 The rest of the time was left for the hair to get done. First they tied up your hair with a few bobby pins, then applied a bald cap fixing it, and last but not least, they slipped on a raven black, shoulder lenght wig on your head. The hairstylist started to curl the black locks in loose curls at the tips. In the mean time the make up artist gave the last touches to the make up and then applied the tiny mic at the top of your forehead. applying some foundation to try to blend it better with your skin tone. 
During all the process you talked and had fun with the girls. You found out that Scarlett was dating Chris, that Tessa was excited because her new girlfriend would’ve been here to see her perform, that Hayley was originally from London but came to New York because her dream was to be on Broadway and that Lizzie was from a family of actors but that she was the only one who sang.
When the hairstylist had finished curling and styling the wig, she applied a blue hairband with a very simple knot on the right side.
Lastly, it was time to get dressed. You thanked God when you finally stood up from the make up chair, you couldn’t take to be seated anymore. The costume designer took yout plastic covered costume from the trolley hanger and uncovered it. 
-Tak off the robe, please.- the lady asked you nicely.
-Sure.- you responded right away taking it off. She passed to you a blue lacy bra and you rose an eyebrow. She shrugged.
-You know, that scene.- she responded, and you understood right away. She covered you with a jacket and you took off your current bra putting on the blue one. It was a bit tight, but it wasn’t uncomfortable thankfully. Then she helped you put on the rest of the costume which consisted in a plain white shirt, an electric blue elegant jacket, a light grey pleated mini skirt which barely arrived at your mid-thigh, a pair of white parisian stockings that reached just above your knees, and last but not least a pair of black heels. Not too high, thankfully.
You heard a whistle and turned your head. The girls were all ready except for Hayley which was still getting her, probably fifth, layer of clothes fixed. Scarlett wore red, Tessa green and Lizzie yellow, as their characters. They looked stunning.
-Look who’s gonna kick all asses tonight.- Tessa said. You all laughed. The costume designer helped you fit into a loose wool pullover with some ygly designs on it, then a scarf and an equally loose pair of brown sweatpants above your current costume. You started to feel a bit hot, but your told yourself that it was just for a few minutes of the first song.
-You don’t look bad yourself.- you talked back. Then there was a knock on the door.
-Girls, it’s time. Y/n on stage in ten.- a member of the crew opened the door and then quickly went away.
You breathed in and out to calm yourself down while you and the girls went to the backstage.
-So, all here? Good, good. So, just a few words.- Theresa spoke and you felt a hand on the small of your back. You tought that it was one of the girls, but you couldn’t be more wrong. You looked at your side, and got face to face with an incredibly sharp jawline. You turned back to look at Theresa, not wanting to embarass yourself, even if Sebastian’s touch was making you freak out a little.
-We worked very hard to get at this point. So behave and don’t screw up, kids. Love you all! And break a leg!-
A few seconds later you and the cast got called for the first song, 'beautiful’.
-See you later.- a shiver ran down your spine when he whispered in your ear. You looked at him. He had his hair back, just like before. He was now wearing combat boots, black jeans, a black t-shirt and a black long coat. And a smirk was painted on his face. The perfect Jason Dean.
You hated yourself for letting him have this effect on you, so you got your shit together and smiled seductively, gazing him straight in the eyes.
-Later, bad boy.- you teased referring to his role. had just a flash of his amused expression before walking away. You got on stage and began to sing.
- September 1st 1989. Dear diary…-  at first you were alone on stage, then some extras joined you, then Ram got introduced.
Anthony wore a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, nikies and a red and white bomber jacket with a big W on the left side. He hit the prop lunch tray you were holding with a fakely innocent ‘oops’.
-Ram Sweeney, third year as linebacker. And 8th year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick.- you talked to the audience as planned with an annoyed tone.
-What did you say to me, skank?- he got closer, menacing. You jumped a bit and put on a scared face.
-Aagh! Nothing.- you responded quickly. You sang a few words of the chorus and then Hayley got on stage. She was almost make up-less and with some baggy and pastel colour clothes, glasses and and ugly liliac t-shirt with an unicorn at the front which could’ve easily made anyone at least two sizes bigger. She was almost unrecognizable.
-Martha Dunstock. My best friend since diapers.- you talked again to the audience, then to Hayley. 
-We on for movie night?- she replaced her british accent with the american one and pitched her voice a bit.
-Yeah! You’re on Jiffy Pop detail.- 
-I rented the princess bride.- she responded timidly. You laughed slightly raising your eyebrows.
-Ooh! Again? Wait, don’t you have it memorized by now?- you cross your arms against your chest, listening.
-What can I say, I’m a sucker for a happy ending.- she answered sadly. Then Chris came running from the right part of the backstage, and smacked Hayley’s prop lunch tray just like Anthony, and like him he was dressed with the same pants, shoes and bomber jacket except for his shirt that was grey. 
-Martha Dumptruck! Wide load, aah!- he screamed mockingly.
- Kurt Kelly, quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team, which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.- you addressed the audience again, gaining a chuckle. Then you returned to spoke to Chris.
-Hey! Pick that up! Right now.- you ordered loudly. 
-I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?- lucky enough that you knew that he wasn’t a real douche, because at this point you would’ve already slapped him. You noted to make Chris compliments later.
-Yes, I am. I want to know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant.- you said with the most insulting tone you could master. He furruwed his brows and narrowed his eyes a bit, looking down at you. 
-You have a zit right there.- he states. All the extras laugh out loud and you all resume to sing. 
Then after a brief instrumental pause everyone but you start to chant softly the name ‘Heather’. Scarlett, Tessa and Lizzie walk slowly on stage, almost in slow motion.
-And then there’s the Heathers. They float above it all.- you start to talk to the public as a narrator while you introduce them one by one. 
-Heather McNamara, head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings.- the spotlight is on Lizzie, then it shifts to Tessa. 
-Heather Duke, runs the yearbook. No discernable personality, but her mom did pay for implants.- you continue, then do a shot pause and the light shifts on Scarlett, which was in the middle. Their costumes were basically the same: very short mini skirt, a white shirt underneath an elegant short jacket, parisian white stockings that reached above the knee and black high heels. The only differecies were the colours, yellow, green and lastly red. 
-And Heather Chandler, the almighty. She is a mythic bitch.- the music gets a bit faster while you keep going. Another piece of song goes on and you get introduced to the Heathers, you ask them to sit at their table so that no one could pick on you and in the end they accept and decide to transform you. So while another chourus goes on, you four get behind the scenes and the costume designer is quickly at your side, helping you to take off the scar, pants, pullover and to put on the heels, fix any eventual crease and in the end she brushed a bit the wig while you put on a rosy lipstick. Just in time, you go back on stage after Scarlett, Tessa and Lizzie.
The song ends and there’s a little banter between you and them which want Veronica to give Martha a fake love letter form Ram to bully her. You refuse and they get angry, which leads to their song.
After another song, finally is JD’s turn to be introduced. He and Veronica meet in a gorcery shop and you start to eat some red licorice while he was drinking a frozen slushie. He looked charming. You were also having a lot of fun, which was ideal for your chemistry. A few lines later he began to sing.
-I’ve been through ten high schools, they start to get blurry. No point in planting roots ‘cause you’re gone in a hurry. My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den, so it’s only a matter of when.- he begins, and boy, was he talented. You smiled at him, not only because you felt like it, but also because it was in the script. 
-Freeze your brain, suck on that straw get lost in the pain. Happiness comes when everything numbs, who needs cocaine?- he sang a few words, then came back to talking. 
-Care for a hit?- he raised the plastic glass, pointing the straw towards you.
-Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?- you smirked teasingly. He tilted his head to the side, raising his eyebrows.
-Not anymore.- he resumed singing along with the music. -When mom was alive, we lived half way normal, now it’s just me and my dad, we’re less formal. I’ve learned to cook pasta, learned to pay rent, learned the world doesn’t owe you a cent.- the note got a bit high and his voice changed in a more teasing tone. 
-You’re planning your future, Veronica Sawyer. You’ll go to some college and marry a lawyer. But the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls, so you better start building some walls.- he sings the chorus towards the audience, then the song ends, and on the last note he snaps his head towards you, his arm stretched offering you the slushie.
-Try it.- the public applaudes and the lights go off, giving you the time to prepare for the next song. It’s a very crowded and messy song, set in a house party. At some point you refuse to obey Scarlett’s Heather Chandler and she says that you’re over. You go away from the party feeling lost. The song ends and the lights go off to give the time to the everyone in the cast to get away.
You were slightly getting more and more nervous for the next song, which woul’ve been a lot more challenging, both to sing and perform, considering that you had to basically ride Sebastian in front of the audience.
You were left alone on stage, if you didn’t consider Sebastian pretending to sleep on the higher stage behind you on a mattress.
-The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday, 8 am I will be deleted.- you start, the music fastening a little. -They’ll hunt me down in study hall Stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?- You walked near the lockers, your voice dripping worry.
-I don’t have to stay and die like cattle,I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike.- you stopped suddenly, a lopsided smile sppearing on your face -Wait.- you looked at the audience.
-Here’s an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!- you hit the fist high note, pointing at Sebastian’s, fake, sleeping figure.
-Yeah! I need it hard, I’m a dead girl walking! I’m in your yard, I’m a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock, I’m snapping off your window lock. Got no time to knock! I’m a dead girl walking..- the line getting softer.
You went up the stairs to the upper stage and walked towards him. He opened his eyes and sit up, straddled.
-Veronica! What’re you doing in my room?- he exclaims confused. You went closer and he got on his feet. Now he didn’t have shoes, had a pair of white boxers and a white tank top.
-Shh...- you put a finger in front of your mouth, shushing him seductively. -Sorry but I really had to wake you. See, I decided I must ride you 'til I break you ,'cause Heather says I got to go. You’re my last meal on death row, so shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys!- you start with a sweet tone that goes higher and stronger ‘til you hit the last note. You pointed at his boxers.
-Come on! Tonight I’m yours, I’m your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking!- You pushed his shoulders with your hands until he got on his knees in front of you. The public laughed slightly.
He looked up at you, starting to caress your tighs with his surprisingly soft hands. They were going up and up, until he reached your ass cheeks. He wasn’t taking his gaze away from yours.
-Let’s go, you know the drillI. I’m hot, and pissed, and on the pill.- you snapped your head towards the audience, raising an eyebrow, gaining a chuckle. Then you returned your attention to Sebastian. -Bow down to the will-Of a dead girl walking!-
You both got on all fours and you gave him a little push to make him sit back, and crawled between his legs. 
-And you know, you know, you know. It’s 'cause you’re beautiful, you say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree.-  You changed tone and got sweet, placing a hand on his heart. -So the world’s unfair? Keep it locked out there! In here it’s beautiful, let’s make this beautiful!-  
He looked at you and smiled, then exclaimed  -That works for me!- 
An instrumental moment began, and you both knew what would’ve come next. So you just did it, without thinking too much. He cupped your cheeks and forcefully pulled you to him, kissing you. You responded right away, trying to think straight and follow the script you started to take off your jacket and then his t-shirt, leaving him in his underwear. If your faces weren’t stuck together you woul’ve probably been jaw dropping at his tanned and muscular figure, but there wasn’t time for that. You pulled away and started to sing again.
-Yeah! Full steam ahead,take this dead girl walking!-
-How’d you find my address?- he asked scared. The public laughed.
-Let’s break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!- you ignored him.
-I think you tore my mattress!- again, the crowd laughed.
-No sleep tonight for you, Better chug that Mountain Dew! Get your ass in gear, make this whole town disappear!- you motioned a ripping movement with your arms and hands. 
-Okay, okay!- he gave up, still scared.
You got on his lap, your legs on each side of his hips. The only thing that separated your intimate parts were your panties and his boxers, but it wansn’t actually enough.
-Slap me, pull my hair, touch me there, and there , and there and no more talking! Love this dead girl walking!- you hit another high note. This moment should’ve been arranged between you two before, like every performer ever does when he had to play scenes like that, but you had to improvise now.
It all happened rather quickly: He gave you a not-so-light spank on the butt, then put his hand in your hair and gently pulled to expose your neck, to the first 'there’ he cupped your breasts, then your ass and at the last one he tore open your shirt, that thankfully had clasp buttons and not normal ones.
In the end your lace covered breasts were exposed to him. You didn’t even had the time to blush, 'cause you started to ride his lap automatically following the script. He helped your movement with his hands on your hips.
-Love this dead girl walking!- you sang.
-Yeah!- you said together. -Yeah!- thrust -Yeah!- again.
-Ow!- he cried when you grazed on his neck with your teeth as you were planned to do, and then one last harsh thrust.
-Yeah!- you hit the highest note and the song ended. The audience cheered as the lights went down. You and him wnr behind the scenes while the crew collected the clothes and came back to the backstage, you didn’t dare to look at him as you both were getting dressed again with the help of the assistants.
-
The rest of the show went perfectly, even if you had a little bit of trouble looking in Sebastian’s eyes after that song. After the ’Seventeen’ reprise the show ended. You all came back on stage for the salute, and after that you went straight to the dressing room to change.
Scarlett was kind enought to let you borrow one of the two dresses she brought from home for the after party. You choose the first, which was mid-tigh, rose gold and sparkly, and had a collar to which the spaghetti straps were attached, leaving the back bare til the lower part. And abviously high heels. You fixed your make up and put on a quite deep shade of pink on the lips, then you were ready.
The girls continued to tease you about Sebastian. They haven’t seen the performance really well, but they did see the faces of you both when you came back to dress up. And that was enough. You shushed them while finishing to fix your now wig-free hair.
You arrived and many poeple made theri congratulations and compliments on your performance. Then you went outside to take a bit of air, your champagne in your hands.
-Hey. Nice play up there.-  you had learned to recognize that voice by now. You turned around. He was wearing a suit, the first few buttons of his white shirt unbuttoned.
-You weren’t that bad yourself.- you smiled briefly. He inched closer and whispered to your ear.
-Y'know it was a miracle that I didn’t get hard on the last bit. Your pussy grinding against my cock like your life depended on it.- you blushed from head to toe. You felt fire on your cheeks and not only there, if you’d had to be honest.
-And I know you did enjoy that too. The little wet spot on my boxers is proof. Am I wrong, babygirl?- he asked, his voice like velvet. You were a bit taken aback, but finally decided to do something. Fuck it.
-No.- you answered. The courage, didn’t even know where that came from. All that you knew, was that in that exact moment his lips were on yours, his hands on your waist and yours on his chest, leaving the glass to fall to the ground.
Someone must’ve heard that, 'cause Chris went outside to check and found the two of you quite occupied. He smirked and closed the door, going to Anthony to retrieve those twenty dollars they bet on you two.
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This was a bit of an experiment. I really like Broadway songs and this looked like fun to write, so I did it. Obviously the musical’s plot, characters and lyrics do NOT belong to me in this case. Hope you liked it ;)
31 notes · View notes
kpophours · 5 years
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a very necessary guide to SF9
so. let’s talk about these underrated kings. be prepared for rambling. I just love them too much. my favorite boys, 10/10 would recommend stanning them.
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some basic information
9 members (5 vocals, 4 rappers, 9 dancers and 9 visuals just stating the facts)
SF9 stands for Sensational Feeling 9
debuted on October 5, 2016 with Fanfare (still a BOP)
currently under FNC Entertainment and actually their first male dance group
their official fandom name is Fantasy (such a good name, honestly) and the official color is Fantasia Hologram (aka the  p r e t t i e s t).
debuted after winning a survival show called Dance or Band (they participated as the dance team; the band team debuted as Honeyst in 2017)
7 mini albums so far with RPM being their latest comeback 
... now onto the members (buckle up)!
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Youngbin
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Kim Youngbin, born on November 23, 1993
LeaderBin aka the Dad™
very charismatic, be prepared for some really intense eye contact (two words: stage presence)
rapper (highest rapping voice out of the four of them)
D A N C E R (a former 1MILLION dance studio trainee), so he‘s obviously 1/3 of sf9′s extremely talented dance line
also 1/3 of hyung line
cutest eye-smile (so soft) + cutest giggle™
rocked his red hair and looks amazing with slightly curled hair (do not fight me on this)
is tattooed (very  p r e t t y)
threatens everyone’s bias at least once
gives amazing (and unnecessary long) pep talks together with Jaeyoon (just let the other boys sleep, please)
gazes so, so fondly at all his members in pretty much every video (no, I will NOT cry)
Jaeyoon is his roommate and secret wife.
Inseong
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Kim Inseong, born on July 12, 1993
the oldest (not mentally) aka the Grandpa™
main vocal (those HIGH NOTES, damn). extremely steady voice.
unique beauty. looks a bit like a desert fox (according to himself and everyone with a pair of functioning eyes).
1/3 of extra line (see and hear three loud idiots in all their videos? yep, that’s him ft. Jaeyoon and Dawon)
also 2/3 of hyung line
v e r y intelligent and educated (holds a degree in Journalism and Communication) but also stupid
owner of an extremely cute smile 
t h i g h s  i am not weak or biased at all
SF9’s designated English speaker (used to live in London for a year)
amazing winking-ability, 10/10 will leave you weak-kneed
King of Lies. he’ll probably never pass a lie detector test. but it’s okay we still love him.
is left-handed and really good at drawing
married to Jaeyoon (it‘s complicated).
Jaeyoon
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Lee Jaeyoon, born on August 9, 1994
3/3 of hyung line
honey voice (aka OST King)
d i m p l e s.
blindingly white teeth. the most beautiful smile (canines!).
very proud of his hips and butt (as he should be).
his actual name is Ethan
likes to work out and is  f i t (he ended all Fantasies during rpm promotions, so thanks for that)
King of girl group dances and in charge of sexy (Zumba) dances
a  fuc ki ng  tease (again, rip all Fantasies during the UNIXERSE rpm stage)
2/3 of extra line (shares one brain cell with Inseong and Dawon. they don’t use it very often.)
had a pink undercut during the Mamma Mia era and probably made people cry with his outstanding beauty. again, i’m not biased at all
seems a bit shy and quiet at first. don’t be fooled. he is loud and will come for you.
married to both Inseong and Youngbin.
Dawon
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Lee Sanghyuk, born on July 24, 1995
oh boy... such a bundle of utter chaos.
e x t r a (3/3 of extra line and probably their President™)
hear something loud and annoying in the background? it’s probably (most definitely) Dawon (helped by the other 2/3 of extra line)
a unique and beautiful voice (he needs more lines or else I’ll throw hands) - rapping, singing, screaming, he can do it all.
a fucking tease 2.0 (seriously, he and Jaeyoon need to be stopped)
Bruce Lee impressions on point
has tattoos
such a meme-face but also so handsome, like H O W
looks amazing and so soft with curly hair must protect
had so many different hair styles during their Mamma Mia promotions, rip his hair (and rip to all new Fantasies trying to keep track lol)
actually very soft. cried when Inseong surprised them during their UNIXERSE concert (which our Grandpa couldn’t participate in due to an injury)
likes to bully Taeyang.
Zuho
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Baek Juho, born on July 4, 1996
Mr. Deep Ass Voice™
“my nose is my swag“
such a good dancer, definitely underappreciated. 
looks intimidating at first, but is actually the softest (d u a l i t y)
the best cat dad (Huru has yet to accept his undying love for him though)
composes/produces own songs (@FNC: please, I’m b e g g i n g you to finally put Champagne on an album) and writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs
didn‘t participate in most of their Enough promotions due to his (still ongoing) back problems (#FNCletZuhoRestChallenge2019)
a dork and meme and honestly just so, so cute and lovable
social butterfly (seriously, he‘s friends with literally e v e r y idol out there)
composed a (love) letter to Fantasy while driving a car with Hwiyoung, Taeyang and Dawon sleeping in the passenger and backseat yes I cried
a scaredy cat (ran away and left his members behind when he got scared by a staff member during their Trip with Fantasy)
Rowoon
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Kim Seokwoo, born on August 7, 1996
yes he‘s a Tree™. is made up of 90% unnecessary long legs.
main vocal 2.0
1/2 of actor line
very handsome, I know (but he‘s so much more than just his good looks)
a devoted mom of 8
loves all Chanis and not-Chanis equally
almost had a mental breakdown because he managed to hit Chani’s face with a football which resulted in his precious maknae getting a nosebleed
always hugging and kissing and generally just smothering all members with his endless love and affection (especially Chani)
(t) h o t  and knows it (very shy with fanboys though)
has literally only one selfie angle he uses rigorously  
his One True Talent™ is staring sexily into the camera and doing nothing else because yes, he’s just that handsome
tries to be funny and fails most of the time, but he‘s cute so it’s okay.
Taeyang
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Yoo Taeyang, born on February 28, 1997
undercover main vocal (has almost as many lines as Inseong and Rowoon)
best dancer, period. his entire body is probably made out of water. such. fluid. moves. - 2/3 of dance line, often in charge of choreographies.
also 1/3 of maknae line
speaks in ᵀᴵᴺʸ ᶠᴼᴺᵀ 
the literal Sun™, his smile has healing properties.
has great hair and pushes it back a lot during his dance moves
a flower boy (literally. wanted to become a florist before debuting as an idol)
looks a bit like Lee Dongwook aka The Reaper from Goblin
you think he‘s soft? uh, sure, yeah. but is also s a v a g e (the personification of that then perish meme)
has a... unique way of drying his hair (ask Dawon, he‘ll show you. even if you don’t want him to, Dawon will show you)
gets bullied by Dawon. bullies him back. very spot-on impressions of Mr. Extraness (as seen on their Weekly Idol episode)
soulmates and married to Hwiyoung, I don’t make the rules.
Hwiyoung
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Kim Youngkyun, born May 11, 1999
rapper and Mr. Charismatic™
yes he is that guy from their Now or Never mv 
looks bad-ass but is a certified baby boy (2/3 of maknae line)
cute without trying and is actually a cat
has literally the best gummy smile which he used to hide behind his hands (but his hyungs encouraged him so much and now he smiles openly, I am not crying, you are)
grew up so suddenly and had long hair out of nowhere and left everyone sh o ok (should definitely be in a shampoo commercial)
composes songs. put one on SoundCloud just very recently. writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs.
cried during their survival show when he got scolded for continuing to mess up the choreography and had to be hugged by Youngbin (who really is the best dad™)
King of the Cleopatra game thanks to his dolphin screams should probably be part of vocal line
pretended to not recognize his soulmate and roommate aka Taeyang when he had to guess his members from their hands while wearing a blindfold. Taeyang will probably never recover from this betrayal and is most definitely still whining about it.
Chani
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Kang Chanhee, born on January 17, 2000
deep ass voice 2.0
d a n c e r (his little solo dance in Now or Never will forever be superior), 3/3 of dance line
Evil Maknae™ (3/3 of maknae line)
2/2 of actor line (yes he‘s that boy from Sky Castle)
speaks fluent duck
Taemin‘s Nº fanboy (literally knows his blood type, like... wow okay)
can‘t remember any of the members birthdays (he actually thought Youngbin was born in August when his birthday is literally in the middle of Winter. Leaderbin was hurt).
always looks like a smol bean, but everyone else is just ridiculously tall
had bright orange hair once only for about one second though lol
constantly smothered with love and hugs from Rowoon and pretends to hates it
has all his hyungs wrapped around his finger and knows it (they‘re all whipped for him, especially when he’s doing aegyo)
has a lot of hair aka (my favorite) coconut head (#freehisforehead2019)
looks expressionless and tired 24/7 (a whole mood and true gen z)
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some videos to watch
all of their mv’s of course
literally every comeback stage
the suit versions of Now or Never and RPM
the ghost prank/horror version of Now or Never (I cried laughing) 
this really cute Dingo Music version of Enough 
basically all their dance practices, but especially K.O. (we all know they should have gone viral with that choreography)
their adorable pajama version of Different
them performing RPM on a treadmill (Chani is a mood™ and Inseong’s grandpa waddle is so cute)
these stunning acoustic versions of their songs brought to you by 2/3 of extra line + The Tree™
their kcon New York 2019 performance (+ their cover of Love Shot)
their reality show Trip with Fantasy 
them dancing to O Sole Mio ft. Ostriches
their episodes on Weekly Idol and Idol Room
their girl group cover dance battle on Weekly Idol (ft. Cross Gene)
Rowoon and Inseong on Masked Singer
Dawon on Weekly Idol as part of the Masked Idol segment
the Now or Never choreography ft. dance line and the 1MILLION dance crew
them covering BTS’ Boy in Luv + EXO’s Call Me Baby
the Idol Dance Cover Challenge of Love Shot (ft. Astro, The Boyz and CIX)
this interview (I mean, that title alone... lol)
those are just a few of my favorite videos - there’s so much more content out there, so you’ll definitely never starve, lol.
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I could literally ramble on about these nine incredible men for hours on end. 
But this will be the end of my guide (it’s long enough already, lol).
Stan SF9 for (clear skin and good grades) nine hard-working and so, so talented individuals with amazing voices, incredible dance moves, outstanding visuals, chaotic energies and a lot of meme-worthiness.
You won’t regret it, I promise.
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(Don’t worry, Rowoon(’s face) is okay).
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[masterlist] | [requests] 
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