cwosshair

[cwosshair]

what's your blorbo show? the show that has so few characters who AREN'T your blorbos that the characters who aren't don't even count. The show where you're spending most of your watching time going "there they are! the specialest person in the world!"? I'll start, mines Merlin

#the witcher #and not a show but #lotr

[cwosshair]

And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us

[cwosshair]

Witchers don’t get affected by poisons like humans do

They don’t get affected At All, as a matter of fact. 

So they start using it as spices in their food cause poison is a lot cheaper to get than actual spices. (there’s a social commentary about the state of the Continent in there somewhere, I can feel it.)

They love the Flavours, though.

Hmmmmm. Tasty Arsenic-Laced Dinner.

Geralt’s favourite is Cyanide.

Eskel really likes Wolfsbane.

Vesemir is impartial to any poison, but prefers Belladonna.

Lambert loves any and all poisonous mushrooms. No particular reason.

(yes particular reason. he likes getting high)

When Ciri arrives at Kaer Morhen, she nearly eats the poison dinner, but Vesemir, the only Kaer Moron with braincells (the Kaer Not-So-Moron, if you will) slaps the fork out of her hand.

“CIRI DON’T EAT THAT IT WILL KILL YOU” Lambert, who cooked dinner that night: Rude.

All the Kaer Morons get a thorough wooden-spoon-beating afterwards.

The same thing happens with Jaskier, except when Vesemir tries to slap the fork out of his hand, he just turns away and shovels it all into his mouth.

He Doesn’t Die.

What The Fuck.jpg

When they ask him about it he just winks and says “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

After watching him eat straight-up poison for dinner for a few weeks, they ask again, though. Each time he has a different answer.

“I’m a Siren.” “The Fae won’t let me die.” “I’m a spy and I’ve made myself immune to every poison in existence.” “I just look at Death and say No.” 

The Kaer Morons can tell if someone’s lying. Either Jaskier’s speaking the truth every time or he’s very very good at lying.

They never ask again.

They’re all terrified of Jaskier now. 

Geralt: jokes on you that’s the thing that turns me on.

Sometimes an idiot noble will try to poison a Witcher and every time they’re just like “Ahhhh, tastes just like home,” and eat like four plates worth of food. 

“I have tried to kill the Witcher.” “You’ve wasted some perfectly good poison, is what you did. Look at him. He wants even more.”

After a few decades, nobles learn to stop trying.

The Witchers get sad cause suddenly banquets taste very bland to them :(

Noble who doesn’t feel like killing Witchers, watching Jaskier sprinkle a powder into Geralt’s dinner: Let me see what you have

Jaskier, already carrying the plate to Geralt: Arsenic :D

Noble: NO!!!!!

Guard: Oh my gods why does he have Arsenic

And yes, Jaskier lovingly starts carrying a plethora of poisons around for Geralt at all times. 

People quickly learn not to steal a Witcher’s food. So that’s a plus.

Yennefer sees this whole ordeal and sees a business opportunity.

She invents some Fancy New Poisons That Taste Very Good and starts selling them to all the Witcher schools. (The Wolf school gets a 50% discount. But only because Ciri would get upset otherwise.)

#Capitalism™

Merchant (not Yennefer), watching a Witcher buy his entire stock of poison: *quietly* what the fuck. what the fuck.

Witcher: oh, don’t worry, I’m not gonna use it to kill someone. I’m gonna eat it.

Merchant (still not Yennefer): what the fuck?????

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #yennefer of vengerberg #cirilla of cintra #lambert #eskel #vesemir #the gang's all here #kaer morons

[cwosshair]

i feel these needed to be compiled. feel free to add more genre related posts in the notes if you want

[cwosshair]

Look at Geralt.

That's a man scared to have Jaskier turn him down after all and about to open his mouth to say *anything* to make him come with him

He even takes a small step back and his hand leaves Jaskier's shoulder/arm

And that's a man being absolutely done with Jaskier's shit, thinking "can't believe I'm in love with this idiot"

Still he doesn't insult Jaskier or anything and just waits for him to step out of the cell, basically begging "can we go now..?" with his eyes

#the witcher #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher netflix #am i interpreting this wrong tho..??? #stupid men #both of them #i love them

[cwosshair]

ᵀʰᵉ ᴮᵃᵈ ᴮᵃᵗᶜʰ // ᴹᵃᵈᵃᵍᵃˢᶜᵃʳ ᴾᵉⁿᵍᵘᶦⁿˢ

#wheksdkfkeksdk #cinematic parallels #tbb #art #hunter #wrecker #tech

[cwosshair]

He’s finally done! The second addition to my Bad Batch pinup series is everyone’s favourite asshole Crosshair <3

I took creative liberties on his tattoos - I’m giving them all one matching tattoo anyway (their teams emblem, just altered to suit their individual personalities) I went with a bandolier around one arm and a snake for him too, because I think that’s extremely fitting.

I’m sorry this took so long, life got very busy, but I’m hoping to do the rest quicker! Who do you want me to do next?

#star wars #the bad batch #bad batch #the clone wars #crosshair #procreate #art

[cwosshair]

I think Tumblr ate my ask because I got the "whoops something goofed" notification after I sent it....

ANYWAY

Do loth-cats and massiffs get along with each other? What about loth-cats and banthas?

...you tell me

#ask #tusken memes #tusken raiders #star wars #tatooine #memes #sand people #loth cat #bantha #massiff

[cwosshair]

i’m never going to ride you, am i? and no one ever should.

#spirit stallion of the cimarron #spirit #fanart #horse art #horse

[cwosshair]

Wow I really kinda feel bad for him…

Ouch….

#he's just a sad subborn pile of emotions #i was really hoping they'd get him out of it #the betrayal #crosshair #yeah anyways #star wars #the bad batch #the bad batch series #digital art

[cwosshair]

Crosshair | The Bad Batch 1.01

part.2

#the bad batch #star wars #swedit #tbbedit #swanimation #starwarsblr #theforcenetwork #crosshair #ct-9904

[cwosshair]

I read this post by the talented @space-b33 and I had to doodle some art based on their ideas right away, so here you go - Crosshair and his cat! I 100% believe he’d have a soft spot for cats - it didn’t take a lot of convincing for him to take this curious kitten back to the Marauder. Hunter can’t stand the smell and Tech won’t stop sneezing, wrecker has almost sat on her twice but he couldn’t care less. I think he’d call her Sylvia, or Sylvie!

#it’s CANON #crosshair #tbb #the bad batch #bad batch #crosshair bad batch #star wars

[cwosshair]

"Post-credit scene" for episode 16 anyone?

I'm so surprised that my dash wasn't flooded (pun intended!) with fanarts/fanfics about Crosshair having a heat stroke and hallucinating about his squad! I can't be the only one who thought of that!

===

STAR WARS: The Clone Wars/The Bad Batch © George Lucas/ Dave Filoni/ LucasFilm/ Disney

#the bad bad spoilers #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #star wars the clone wars #star wars #the clone wars #clone commander crosshair #clone wars #sergeant hunter #clone force 99

[cwosshair]

Crosshair in season 2 episode 1 of the bad batch after declining his only ride off the planet and staying on a little platform instead:

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb #tbb spoilers #crosshair #clone trooper crosshair

[cwosshair]

dunno what canon is

#nibs redesigns #nibs tbb #nibsverse #the bad batch but nibs is in control #the bad batch #tbb #tbb finale #tech #omega

[cwosshair]

Have You Ever Tried to Drag Your Younger Sibling Somewhere They Don’t Want to Go.PNG

unlikely season 2 predictions but hey that’s what I’m here for

#feral man bites local nerd #lobotomy is the only solution #echo #crosshair #hunter #tech #wrecker #the mutated and mutilated #star wars #the bad batch

[cwosshair]

“They don’t leave their own behind… most of the time.”

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.”

“…and I did?”

#us :( #god. #that dialogue in the last ep ..... man ........... #tbb #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers