cynicalsloth

[cynicalsloth]

the disordered urge to refuse to see anyone until i drop a shocking amount of weight

[cynicalsloth]

10.28.22 || 142.4lbs this morning. ☠️

#ed #ednos #body check #postpartum #bodycheck #bodychex #kms #losing weight #not pr0 ed #not pro #calorie counting #calorie tracking #calorie restriction #ed restriction #restrictive ed #restricting

[cynicalsloth]

-25lbs ago 😭

#ed #ednos #postpartum #kms #bodycheck #body check #bodychex #not pr0 ed #not pro

[cynicalsloth]

7hrs after giving birth vs 19 days later (Aug. 19th, 2022)

I gained 50lbs while pregnant and still have 20lbs more to lose.. and then some hopefully

#weight loss #losing weight #post partum #postpartum #not sure if this counts as a relapse #Ed #ednos #not pro just using tags #restricting #can’t wait to workout again

[cynicalsloth]

Not anymore. I’m pregnant 💀💀❤️

10.27.21

5’3/160cm

123.8lbs/56.15kg 💀

[cynicalsloth]

12.01.21

Sorry I dropped off the grid for awhile. Turns out I’m pregnant, so as long as that’s the case I have to “fix” the way I’ve been living. Unfortunately the ed thoughts don’t just disappear and it takes time to change reckless/impulsive behavior, but I stopped partying and quit nicotine 🎉 so ~ baby steps. (pun)

#ed #ednos #recovery #or whatever I’m trying okay #pregnant #confession #confused #anxious #stressed #stress #fat

[cynicalsloth]

11.06.21 - 2,000

AIGHT, it was a bender of a week .-. I’m gonna stop drinking again and actually stay on track this week. I’ll stick to kratom for awhile lol. Since it also suppresses my appetite.

#ed #ednos #tw ed thoughts

[cynicalsloth]

11.05.21 - 2,000

FUCK UGH. My bf’s band played a show tonight and killed it, but I’m mentally exhausted. Please take note of the “out of order” sign on my brain ~ thank you and goodbye

#ed #ednos

[cynicalsloth]

11-03-21 - 2,000

11-04-21 - 2,000

I’m feeling really defensive right now so I want to say “yeah, I did good last week so I don’t care if I fall off the wagon right now, fuck off,” but it’s okay, and I’m only doing this for myself, so why does it matter? I mess up, and I’m a “bitch” because I’m only human. I drank A LOT. I love vodka. Can you blame me??? I’m everyone’s best friend right now ❤️❤️❤️ I love you. Life isn’t just shit. You’re amazing and you need to know that.

#ed #ednos #tw ed thoughts #tw eating things #restricting #calorie restriction #calories #calorie counting

[cynicalsloth]

I love benders, but they make my bones hurt. &for a small female, I sure can handle absurd amounts of liquor.

10.31.21 - 2,000+

11.01.21 - 1,500+

11.02.21 - 1,500+

#ed #ednos #alcohol #drinking #calories

[cynicalsloth]

Lots of drinking. It’s 4pm the next day and I’m still DRUNK haahahaHAHA

#ed #ednos #tw ed thoughts #tw eating things #tw ed mention #calories #calorie restriction #restrictive ed #restricting #calorie tracking #calorie counting

[cynicalsloth]

Week 1 summary (Oct 24th-30th, 21)

Start Weight, Sun 24th: 128.2lbs/58.15kg

Goal: ≤ 1,000cal per day (7,000cal per week)

Sun - 415

Mon - 868

Tue - 710

Wed - 1,005

Thu - 945

Fri - 780

Sat - 980

Total: 5,703 calories

End Weight, Sun 31st: 124.4lbs/56.42kg (-4.2lbs/1.73kg)

#no bodychex bc I’m eating chocolate so suck my ass #ed #ednos #tw ed thoughts #tw eating things #tw #tw ed mention #tw ed behavior #not pr0 ed #restrictive ed #just ed shit #low cal ed #ed restriction #ed relapse #weight loss

[cynicalsloth]

10.30.21 - 980cal

We were driving into town and I hit something and popped my tire.

R . I . P .

#ed #ednos #eating disorder #tw ed thoughts #tw eating things #tw ed mention #calorie counting #calories #calorie restriction #restricting #calorie tracking #restrictive ed #stressed #depressed #ugh

[cynicalsloth]

10.29.21 - 780cal

Halloween is in two days and I never think to plan a costume soon enough. I bought fabric today bc I was gonna make a cloak, but I didn’t get the amount I needed, so FUCK IT. I’ll just be a slut or something.

#ed #ednos #calorie counting #tw ed thoughts #tw ed mention #tw ed behavior #restrictive ed #just ed shit #low cal ed #ed restriction #ed relapse #restricting #calorie restriction #fucking fuckity fuck I’m so pissed #*SCREECH NOISES*

[cynicalsloth]

10.28.21 - 945cal

Fear food = anything I don’t know the caloric value of

#tw ed thoughts #tw eating things #tw ed mention #ed #ednos #not pr0 ed #restricting #calorie restriction #restrictive ed #food restriction #low cal restriction #ed restriction

[cynicalsloth]

10.27.21

5’3/160cm

123.8lbs/56.15kg 💀

#me #mine #bodychex #bodycheck #body check #ed #ednos #tw #calorie restriction #restrictive ed #food restriction #low cal restriction #losing weight #weigh in #tw ed thoughts #not pro #not pr0 ed

[cynicalsloth]

10.27.21 - 1,005cal

I want to go home and meal prep. Work is going to suck this week because I won’t be getting shift drinks (they add too many calories).

Why does kratom have to make me such an asshole the day after?

#ed #ednos #tw ed mention #restrictive ed #just ed shit #low cal ed #ed restriction #ed relapse #not pr0 ed #food restriction #calorie restriction #calorie counting #calorie tracking #calories