dazedpuppydairies

[dazedpuppydairies]

I guess I accidentally deleted my original intro post. Yeah, not really sure when that happened XD

Welcome to The Dazed Puppy Diaries!! I'm Fawn Hagstone a 21 year old, queer, disabled, neurodivergent, anarcho punk. I really enjoy counterculture and I also really like discussing different facets of my identity. I started this blog because I need a place to dump info about my identities, interests, experience, etc.

Things I'll Probably Be Talking About

Being trans/nonbinary, asexuality, aromanticism, and generally a-spec stuff, ethical-non monogamy, disability and neurodivergence/mental health stuff (OCD, Generalized Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Depression, Trauma, Dissociation, Plurality (I'm the host of an OSDD-1B system though we're still not super comfortable talking about it online yet), Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia etc) Counterculture, punk(especially folk punk and queercore), alterhumanity, goth, emocore, j-fashion, etc, leftism, anarchism, disability justice. Generally just stuff pertaining to my identities, interests, experiences, etc. Posts pertaining to my special interests and hyperfixations. I'm pretty crow-brained and I like collecting things a lot and I've made a few posts about dolls in the past. Might wanna make some posts about media at some point in the future too. Also I'm a furry.

#lgbtq+ #queer #trans #nonbinary #transgender #mental health #trendercore #adhd #agoraphobia #autism #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #aspec #neurodivergent #disability justice #disabled #dyslexia #mental illness #osdd 1b #ptsd #plurality #ancom #leftism #collecting #furry #alterhumanity #therian #otherkin

[dazedpuppydairies]

Hey, it's Fawn again. Still not doing very well. Fortunately my snap reapplication was approved!! Outside of snap I still don't have a proper income. I got a letter in the mail saying it could take 12 months to even get a date for the court hearing. My living situation is getting progressively worse and I really want to go as soon as possible. I am currently trying to get into a housing program, but I don't know if I'll be able to get in. I need to find somewhere to live by August or I will be homeless again.

Mutual Aid Request

Hello I'm Fawn a 21-year-old queer, neurodivergent and mentally ill, disabled person. I'm currently not doing very well. I'm broke and concerned about housing. I'm unable to work and currently trying to get on disability, I was denied so I'm working on the appeal with a representative. A family member was helping me out with rent, but due to health issues they haven't been able to. I currently owe my housemates $300 for this month's rent and we're concerned we won't be able to pay next month's rent. I'm also currently reapplying for snap and I'm kind of worried about being denied. That's a worst case scenario situation, but I'm concerned. I'm also trying to get out of my current living situation (kind of stealthy) because it ended up being I'll put it very unhealthy. I'm really concerned, I don't know if I can handle being homeless again with how bad my agoraphobia has gotten. Thank you in advance.

Cash App: $Pixi3Fawn

I can also maybe figure out zelle or like transfers through the bank if you direct message me

#mutual aid #queer mutual aid #disabled #neurodivergent #homelessness #mental health #trans mutual aid #trans #queer #lgbtq+ #adhd #agoraphobia #transgender #autism #nonbinary #chronic fatigue #mutual aid request

[dazedpuppydairies]

Content Warning // Transphobia, Discussing the death of a parent, Discussing being disowned by family members (this is partially a vent, but more so just me being retrospective of dark things that have happened in my life)

It's been almost 8 years now and I still can't get over the fact my extended family was complaining amongst themselves at my mother's funeral because I wore a button down shirt and a tie. Like the absurdity of that baffles me. Let me correct myself, people being homophobic and transphobic doesn't surprise me at all, but complaining I wore a fucking tie to my mother's funeral while attending the funeral is absurd. Like the audacity. In the grand scheme of things it's like whatever, but still at my mother's funeral geez. I can imagine them murmuring like school children and it just seems so ridiculous to me. Also my aunt or step aunt I guess on my maternal side essentially told my paternal grandmother that her and my uncle were disowning me at my mother's funeral as well. Did these folks just not think I was going to find out about all of this shit they were saying at my mother's funeral. It just feels very unethical. Since I've had brief text messages with my aunt, but she's never owned up to what she said to my grandmother, or that they intentionally disowned me. In 2022 I think it was she tried to make amends, but it just didn't feel real. Like after you disown someone for being queer you have to deal with the fact they might not want anything to do with you even if you try to make amends. Also my maternal grandmother confirmed to me back in 2020 that my aunt and uncle don't talk to me because I'm queer. It was kind of an accident, but it happened. Also she had mentioned it before, but not as blatantly. So what happened was I was briefly dating a person with a very gender-neutral name and for whatever reason she assumed my ex was a cisgender male. Because of that assumption she proceeded to go on about how it's great that being a lesbian was just a phase and how now my aunt and uncle can talk to me. Thinking back on it, it is kind of sad. Anyway yeah I don't really talk to many of my maternal family anymore. That isn't to say my paternal family aren't transphobic and homophobic, but they didn't disown me and they didn't enable the people who disowned me.

#lgbtq+ #queer #trans #nonbinary #transgender #transphobia #homophobia #transphobic family #trauma

[dazedpuppydairies]

Hi, hope this finds you well.

What would your podcast be about ? I do love listening to podcasts.

Have a great day.

I'm not completely sure yet. I was kind of teasing my grandmother about how she should start a podcast telling all of our families unhinged stories, but she insisted that I should start a podcast instead. I've also had others suggest I start a podcast because blogging is sort of difficult because of dyslexia / dysgraphia and podcasts require less equipment than videos. I really like the idea of making video content though. I know that many people also film their podcasts, for some reason I'm really stuck on the idea of making vlogs though. I'd probably talk about similar things that I do on here, identity, queerness, counterculture. I really like rambling though so telling stories could be interesting too. A part of me feels like I don't articulate myself well enough for a podcast, but I also feel like that's something that can be learned over time. Apologies if that was more than what you asked for, I have a lot to say.

#lgbtq+ #trans #queer #nonbinary #transgender #trendercore #queer podcast #podcast #trans podcast #dyslexia #dysgraphia

[dazedpuppydairies]

Content Warning// For Discussion of Transphobia

An aspect of transness I don't see people talking about a lot is when you've really queered your understanding of gender and things that previously made you dysphoric, or roles that are traditionally associated with your assigned gender now make you euphoric. Especially when there's this aspect of reclamation involved. For example when growing up your told you have to do XYZ because of your assigned gender, but then you do proceed to do XYZ, but in a very queer way that would make the people who told you, you have to do XYZ cringe. I think this is like a really interesting conversation, but I don't see a lot of trans people talking about it. Sure I do see conversations about how trans men are allowed to be feminine and trans women are allowed to be masculine, but I feel like that's really surface level. Also even those surface level concepts aren't very mainstream yet. For example I was staying in this shelter for LGBTQIA+ between late 2021 and early 2022. One of the people I was living with there was a cis femme gay guy and he had such a problem with me being a femme trans guy. He constantly misgendered me along with all the nonbinary staff. He also expressed that being trans is when someone medically transitions from one binary gender to the other essentially. He didn't really view it as an identity based thing or even a mental thing at all. He essentially viewed transness as a cosmetic thing. I caught him having a conversation one time with one of the nonbinary staff explaining that the difference between him a drag queen and a trans woman is that a trans woman gets surgeries and if she doesn't get the surgeries she's still technically a man. Overhearing that conversation had me fuming. Anyway despite being a feminine cis guy he couldn't comprehend the validity of a feminine trans guy. That still seems to be a lot of people's understanding of transness unfortunately, even within the LGBTQIA+, even within the trans community. Don't get me wrong things have gotten much better since 2016 when I first came out as nonbinary and I think the online trans community has also done a lot of healing the last couple years. Anyway for me a big part of being queer is about subverting expectations and honestly not making sense. I don't want to make sense within the cisnormative,heteronormative, amatonormative standards which are still very prominent within our community today. Back to the point of this though I think the concept of reclaiming the roles that were forced upon you based off of your assigned gender, but in a way that makes cishet people cringe is very fun.

Also quite off topic, but my grandmother says I should start a podcast. What do you think about that?

#lgbtq+ #queer #trans #nonbinary #transgender #trendercore #genderfuck #genderqueer #genderpunk #pangender #genderfluid #enby #tw transmysoginy #tw transphobia

[dazedpuppydairies]

Mutual Aid Request

Hello I'm Fawn a 21-year-old queer, neurodivergent and mentally ill, disabled person. I'm currently not doing very well. I'm broke and concerned about housing. I'm unable to work and currently trying to get on disability, I was denied so I'm working on the appeal with a representative. A family member was helping me out with rent, but due to health issues they haven't been able to. I currently owe my housemates $300 for this month's rent and we're concerned we won't be able to pay next month's rent. I'm also currently reapplying for snap and I'm kind of worried about being denied. That's a worst case scenario situation, but I'm concerned. I'm also trying to get out of my current living situation (kind of stealthy) because it ended up being I'll put it very unhealthy. I'm really concerned, I don't know if I can handle being homeless again with how bad my agoraphobia has gotten. Thank you in advance.

Cash App: $Pixi3Fawn

I can also maybe figure out zelle or like transfers through the bank if you direct message me

#mutual aid #queer mutual aid #disabled #neurodivergent #homelessness #mental health #trans mutual aid #trans #queer #lgbtq+ #adhd #agoraphobia #autism #transgender #nonbinary #chronic fatigue #mutual aid request

[dazedpuppydairies]

"We need more weird queers" Yall can't even handle bi lesbians

[dazedpuppydairies]

New official submissions post for my upcoming zine!!

The Diversity of A-spectrum Experiences Zine Submissions!!

Hiya, I'm Fawn (FaeryVoid) Something to know about me is that I'm AroAce and I'm making a zine about the diversity amongst a-spec experiences. I've already made a post about this on my main blog The DazedPuppyDiaries, but I wanna make an updated post here. Before I discovered that I'm aro, I already really wanted to make a zine about the diversity amongst ace-spec experiences and that kind of evolved into making a zine about the diversity amongst a-spec experiences. I'm inspired to make this zine because I feel it's often forgotten that the a-spectrum is just that, a spectrum. I feel that a-spec experiences are often treated as a monolith which I find really frustrating. If you're a-spec and interested in participating feel free to reach out whether that be through commenting, reblogging this, or direct messaging me. I wanna make it clear this zine is for all a-spec not just aces and aros, so if you're aplatonic or asensual for example I'd like to hear from you as well. I do ask that anyone submitting something is 18+. You can be accredited however you like whether that be, your username, your name, your system name, an alias, or anonymous. I'm open to many mediums for this project so if you'd prefer to share your experience through illustration rather than writing that's also fine. I also have a prompt list available so if you'd like that reach out and I'll send you the document, but the prompt list is completely optional. If you're writing a submission try to be conscious about the length of the submission, but it's not too big of a deal. I should note that I might not be able to use all the submissions I get or I might not be able to use a whole submission if it's very long. Also If you don't want to write a submission, but would like to give me feedback about your experience for me to take into account while writing the zine I'd appreciate that as well, please just differentiate if it's feedback or a submission. This project is going to take me quite a while and I'm going to be taking submissions for quite a while too, so submissions are open unless I edit this saying otherwise.

[submissions and feedback are currently open]

[dazedpuppydairies]

I started this new blog for art, crafts, and creative projects. In the future I'll be posting my digital zines on this new blog (FaeryVoid) rather than here on the Dazed Puppy Diaries.

About FaeryVoid

I'm Fawn (FaeryVoid) I'm starting this blog to share my art, crafts, and creative projects.

My identity and experiences are very much reflected throughout my art etc, so first I'm gonna tell you a bit about me.

I'm a 21 yo queer, neurodivergent, disabled, ancom, punk, alterhuman, folk witch. Umm I really enjoy counterculture. I grew up in a Christian conservative family and I think I've always been drawn to things outside of the norm or things that rival the Christian conservative values. For example I've always been very hyper fixated on occult things and the macabre. I remember my mother saying when I was very young, "when I had a girl I thought I wouldn't have to worry about you being into these sorts of things". Looking back at that conversation now I find it very funny. Like I'm a genderqueer witch, I through her expectations right out the window. "God gave me instructions on how to live my life, but I couldn't read his handwriting so I burnt them last night" ~ Johnny Hobo and The Freight Trains. Though I was very isolated as a child so it wasn't until my early teens when information started becoming more accessible to me I discovered so many different aspects of myself. Things I had felt my whole life suddenly had names and communities of other people. Of course around that age 12-13 everyone around me thought everything was just a phase, while honestly I just had a bunch of information I never had before. Obviously my identity has evolved since I was only 12 years old, but I honestly had a very good sense of self at that age and I think my elders trying to convince me otherwise created so much self doubt. Anyways I've also always enjoyed creativity and creating things from a very young age and expressing myself through art etc. I'm also very crow-brained in the sense that I really like collecting things. I was a Monster High kid and now collect dolls as an adult. Also though not very relevant to this blog I was a Sonic kid, love Sonic. Cycling back to witchcraft today I'm pursuing a path in Celtic especially Welsh folk magic. I've actually been a witch for six or seven years now, but in the beginning I was very eclectic and actually I was Wiccan which definitely isn't my path anymore so I'm kind of relearning things. That's pretty much what I want to share about myself right now, in future projects like in zines I'll go more into debt on my identities, and experiences.

I plan on sharing a pretty broad array of art, crafts, and creative projects, like illustrations, zines, jewelry, poetry, DIY stuff, I'm thinking maybe even witchcraft related things. I'm teaching myself to cook so maybe stuff pertaining to that. I imagine it might not seem very cohesive, but I think overarching themes will tie everything together.

I also have a corresponding Instagram page for this blog. On top of that I've thought about making videos, but I'm not sure yet.

[dazedpuppydairies]

I made a blog post about this awhile back, but deleted it because I was overwhelmed with the change. A lot has been challenging in my life, it's overwhelming and distressing. As I've talked about in the past I go back many first names. I collect many names because I'm one of the fair folk /lh I've been mainly going my Bandit online and Fawn (my main name I guess you could say) irl, but I'm going to be addressing myself more as Fawn going forward. Bandit is still my name at least as of now so I'm not changing all my previous posts where I addressed myself as such, but I did change my stargender zine from by Bandit Hagstone to by Fawn Hagstone. If you come across one of the old reposted versions and then notice it's different now that's why. I did also have to change the last page because I no longer have Canva pro. Instead of there being a star on the back page now there's an inverted pink triangle. Anyway this has been another entry of the Dazed Puppy Diaries by Fawn Hagstone :3

[dazedpuppydairies]

me and my gf fern in our crust pants together :3 got to have all three of my gfs together for the first time yesterday! We spent the day together and i had so much fun! Puppy and kitty girl love!

[dazedpuppydairies]

its so weird to me when people talk as if butch lesbians "benefit" from masculinity in some way. i kinda feel like nothing in real life indicates this ever but ok .

[dazedpuppydairies]

unfortunately i have to see discourse on my dash every day that makes me think some of y'all are really only posturing about the whole being a gender weirdo freak thing

"can you treat a trans woman as an equal if she has visible facial hair, or a trans man who has visible breasts?" is a good starting point but let me ask you some more questions.

could you have a normal conversation with a 50 year old transsexual who still considers himself a mother to his son? can you be in community with retransitioners and genderqueer people with non-normative transition trajectories? can you have a nice chat with someone who was afab and calls themself transfemme, or with someone who was amab and calls themself transmasc?

and even more! do you welcome the guy in a dress who calls himself a transvestite and has been doing drag every saturday for the past 10 years to your pride parade? are you willing to hear out the young woman who had bottom surgery at 18 and now kinda wishes she didn't? do you actually respect the people who decide not to go on hrt or to get surgery due to their family's medical history?

they may be hypothetical to you, but those are the people i have met and hang out with every day.

and you might answer yes to all of these, obviously, but could you actually say that when actually meeting them? because i've seen for myself that, no, the hypothetical and reality don't always align.

[dazedpuppydairies]

Good meowning happy mew year , i just got back to canada & my bank acc is -20 and im out of m3ds :^) if anyone has th means to help me afford food&meds til i get paid would mean th world - pp Azriel69420 kofi azrlazrl

[dazedpuppydairies]

“We need more weird queer people” Y’all can’t handle 90% of the ways multigenders label their sexualities

[dazedpuppydairies]

So I'll admit I'm not super familiar with veldian terminology, but I find it so absolutely brain fucking when I see people say veldian/turian is the (masculine) equivalent to lesbian as if being veldian/turian is inherently masculine and being lesbian is inherently feminine. I know it isn't intentional, but something about it reminds me of lipstick lesbian anti butch terf rhetoric. Some people in this community just really hate nuance and are really stuck on this male female, masculine feminine binary. As a lesbian I feel inclined to talk about this. Queer identity is so incredibly nuanced, it's queer. I think the best shorthand way to describe lesbian is probably queer attraction to women, but I still think it's more nuanced. I don't think lesbian needs a definitive all encompassing definition because it's a very nuanced identity. Also just saying especially as a pangender lesbian/lesboy I really hate the whole non-men loving non-men thing. Anyway calling veldian/turian the masculine version of lesbian is just so ridiculous to me and I had to talk about it. Also If you try to argue exclusionist lesbian discourse in the replies I'm just going to delete it by the way. Genuine good faith questions and critique are welcomed.

#lgbtq+ #queer #lesbian #veldian #turian #trans #nonbinary #nonbinary lesbian #trans lesbian #lesboy #queer attraction to women #transgender #trendercore #pangender #multigender #multigender lesbian #anti binary

[dazedpuppydairies]

This is what the aromantic flag stands for btw (sources: dude trust me)