This was liberating to read, finally coming to terms with the fact that the evil ex hubs was gaslighting me the whole time making me feel bad for his cheating and making himself out to be the victim, with his anger. But I'm also learning that guilt can drive a person to such anger so I just forgive in my heart and move forward, knowing I did not anything wrong.
Not going to keep trying to protect his reputation by holding back from talking about his cheating anymore, too. If he wanted people to think better of him, yes, he should have done better.
Thank you, universe, for protecting me from harm I couldn't see when I was disillusioned.
There's something incredibly romantic, and perhaps also incredibly delusional, about my intense love for solo travels. I don my best dresses and skirts and flit around like I'm the only character in this movie of me, with a love story soundtrack ringing in my head whilst I prance around like a demigoddess.
The geocaching, the chatting up strangers, the discovery of amazing vegan ramen stalls, the wildlife conservation organizations I love to support, the random street animals that I love petting and playing with so much.
I'm the romantic idealist through and through. Please love me as I am, whoever I am. <3
Remembering a time when I fell in love with a Canadian French boy who got me hooked on the tall lanky types and made we wanna have cute mixed babies. The boy no longer goes by the name on the ticket, movie tickets are no longer printed, and we hardly get to see anyone's handwriting to get to know them better, anymore. Arthur's Seat as part of the itinerary, how One Day could we get?
Somehow this song seems to aptly sum up 2023 for me... Thank you, dear 2023. I had a lot of fun, tears, heartbreaks, breakthroughs, connections, adventure, love, growth, courage and wisdom.
I increasingly feel it deep deep in my bones that I am born to be a teacher and over time, I learn to embrace it and bask in the joy of it, more and more. From the cheekiness and goofiness of students, to their cute moments of choosing to endearingly call me 老师 even though I don't teach them anything vaguely related to Chinese or Mandarin at all. To these sweet excerpts they write about themselves, in their intro of self, to me, that lights up and warms my heart so so much. I'm a happy lucky girl <3
Perhaps the hardest eulogy I've had to give, ever (2 June 2023)...
On 14 Dec 2019, all of us here experienced a complex sense of loss that words constantly fail to express, even until today.
Most would say losing a loved one at the ripe old age of 96 is something to be celebrated, yet the deep sense of loss that I've not been able to shed since gong gong departed, cannot seem to justify any form of celebration at all. I know it's pure selfishness of not being able to enjoy his company, his challenging and witty banter, anymore, that denies the need to acknowledge his finding peace, just as all of us here would understand, but perhaps that's how we are and always will be, as humans. Instead of trying to reconcile the loss, we live on carrying the hole he's left, in our hearts, trying our best to constantly keep memories of and with him, alive, for as long as we can. And that's how he's taught us the lesson of grief.
Thank you for guiding us in life with your wisdom, for making us believe when you led by example, for inspiring us with your grit and adventures of forced circumstances, for lighting our hearts with your strong opinions and convictions, for teaching us to love all creatures great and small and to be fiercely loyal to the ones we love, most of all, for giving beyond your life lived, when you made the decision to be a silent mentor. Thank you, for being the best husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather any of us could ever wish for in this lifetime.
As Vision says, what is grief, if not love persevering? Here's to the captain of our hearts, because that's where you will live on, long after today. Now that you've completed your journey of service to the medical students, may you find peace, gong gong.
Feeling super super happy to have had an epiphanic moment in wing chun training today! That in order to see your opponent's attack, you need to relax and pay attention to their whole being, their patterns, their bodily cues, not their fists. The moment I could catch my sparring partner's timing when I did that, the faster I could react to the attack. That felt so good, it's like moving into another level of learning, internalizing it. I love wing chun so much.
Pottery class with the sweetest adoptive niece and nephew I always look forward to spending time with over the school holidays. Learning the art of patience too as we can only glaze our pieces at least 3 weeks later. Dirty hands only indeed!