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growingupautie · 4 years

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Q: Nathan. Autism Speaks is changing and is calling for inclusivity and Kindness. They even changed their logo…Why are you and other Autistic people still against them?

A: For the same reason you leave an abusive ex even when they proclaim they’ve changed or at least promise to. Except we didn’t choose to be in this relationship. They showed up one day hurling hate speech and fear-mongering about us at our parents and convincing people they spoke for us because we “didn’t have a voice.”

Well, many of us are adults now, and many of us adults have advocacies that do speak for us and have for a long time.

And what we've seen is a continued campaign of fear-mongering and hate speech, while silencing #ActuallyAutistic people who disagree with them about their continued efforts to "cure us" through abusive treatments like ABA which cause PTSD, self-hatred, and teaches compliance that leads to being victimized.

Their fear-mongering has even led to thousands of parents trusting quack cures like bleach enemas, and worse to "save their children from the dreaded Autism."

And their "new logo" appropriates our "Light it up Gold," and "Red Instead" campaigns and the spectrum of colors that we started to distance ourselves from "The Light it Up Blue" campaign. A campaign that they created to continue raising money through fear-mongering.

So no. Not only are we not impressed, but we are also actually pretty pissed off that they would co-opt OUR movements that were created to spite them. They only thing they didn't steal is the infinity symbol.

Not to mention there are no Autistic members on their board, and the one member they did hire, quit shortly after, after being ignored and talked over the entire time.

Lastly...And most importantly. This is where it all started. This is where they came from. And regardless of "changes" and calls for "kindness" and "inclusivity." This video is what I will always remember.

youtube

Link to video: https://youtu.be/9UgLnWJFGHQ

“I am Autism...I'm visible in your children, but if I can help it I'm invisible to you until it's too late...

I know where you live...and guess what? I live there too...I hover around all of you...I know no color barrier...no religion...no morality...no currency...I speak your language fluently...and with every voice, I take away I acquire yet another language...

I work very quickly...I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined...And if you're happily married...I will make sure that your marriage fails...Your money will fall into my hands and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don't sleep. So I make sure that you don't either...

I will make it virtually impossible for your family to easily attend a temple...birthday party...a public park without a struggle...without embarrassment...without pain...You have no cure for me...Your scientists don't have the resources...and I relish their desperation...Your neighbors are happier to pretend I don't exist...Of course until...It's their child...

I am Autism…I have no interest in right or wrong...I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness.

I will fight to take away your hope...I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams...I will make sure that every day you wake up...you will cry...wondering who will take care of my child after I die...And the truth is...I'm still winning...and you are scared...and you should be...

I Am Autism…You ignored me...That was a mistake...” -Autism Speaks Commercial

Now how the hell is this supposed to make us feel? I don't care when it came out, or the fact that they deleted it. Are we supposed to let a group who put something like this together speak for our people? #NoThanks #ICanSpeakForMyself #DontChangeJustLeave

-Nathan Alan McConnell

#actuallyautistic #nothanks #icanspeakformyself #autismspeaks #hatespeech

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growingupautie · 4 years

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"The More Things Change..." When the colors you created to distance yourself from a hate speech organization get co-opted by that hate speech organization. Thanks brah...

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PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE- PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS

#autismspeaks #autism spectrum #autism awareness #autism #autiistic #actuallyautistic #youdontspeakforus #stayinyourlane #lightitupblue #lightitupgold #redinstead

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growingupautie · 4 years

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StoryTime: All That and a Bag of...

At my previous job, I and a coworker or two would often grab lunch at a local restaurant. Usually, it was just me and one other guy thought. Sometimes we'd go to the pizza place. Sometimes the Chinese place down the street. There were a few good spots but we went to them all the time so they got pretty boring. Isn't it funny how when you finally have access to almost any food, you end up feeling like nothing sounds good and taking it for granted?

One day, most of my coworkers were busy, and my go-to guy told me he had errands to run. I drove by the Chinese place we usually go to and parked my car. But as I got out, I saw the Subway next to it and decided that since nobody ever wanted to go there, I would do that instead. I closed my car door and felt someone watching behind me. It felt like they were ready to make their move and ambush me with something but there was a distinct lack of a feeling of ill-intent.

I started to rush off toward the entrance as I hear from the watcher behind me "HEY! Hey man! Can you uh...I don't get paid for two weeks and I just started a new job...Can you buy me lunch and I'll pay you back?" I look back and see an older man in his late 30's sitting in his beat-up work truck wearing a neon work vest frantically awaiting my answer. "Uh..." I said, not really wanting to interact with anyone that day but feeling like I was long overdue for a good deed. "Sure, man...Come on."

He said "Are you serious?! Thank you. Oh, God. Thank you. God Bless you." and he leaped out of his truck, and threw the door shut running toward me. He held the door open for me and said "I'll pay you back. I promise." When I do things like this for people, I don't really want to be paid back and as I told him, it "wouldn't be much of a good deed if I did." He thanked me with an oddly frantic nature and seemed to almost get teary-eyed.

I thought to myself about how rare kindness must be to him if that small amount elicited that response. Then I realized that it most certainly was to me, and that's about the same amount of kindness it would take to move me as well. "I haven't eaten in a few days..." he told me. "I just started this new job, and I'm in a bad way until I get paid." He added. As his words hit me I said with a somewhat heavier heart. "Well, you're eating today, man. Get whatever you want.

The person in line ahead of us turned around and mean mugged him, and looked at me as if to say I was being scammed. That the guy was just in it for a free meal. Honestly, He could've been right in that moment for all I knew. But the truth is, I didn't care. I'd rather it be a free food scam than any other type because it's still a good deed done in the name of goodness.

But at the same time, I felt like this guy was either legitimate or extremely exaggerating his actions to seem that way. Either way, I didn't care. And because of that, the joke would be on him if he was lying. He ordered a 6-inch sandwich, and I told him to make it a foot long if he hadn't eaten in so long. He almost broke down again but snapped out of it, and changed his order.

He added chips and a drink to it, but only after I insisted. Further taking away the idea that this was all a scam to get free food. He picked his sandwich and drink up and looked like he was ready to walk out. "Do you mind if I eat with you?" he asked me. I was taken aback. Most of the time when I had bought someone lunch over the years they either doubled their order, left as soon as it was ready, or both. "Uh...Yeah, man. Sure." I told him.

We went and sat down and he thanked me again frantically for the food. Then he pulled the sandwich out and started literally scarfing it down in front of me. And I mean scarfing. And for a brief moment, I thought to myself "Who eats like that?" until it clicked in my head that only someone who hadn't eaten a meal in a long time would... I immediately felt horrible. "How long has it been?" I asked. "Um...Been a few days. Maybe Saturday?" It was Tuesday.

"I'm sorry, my brother. I didn't realize how bad it was." I told him as tears burned in my eyes burning my nostrils as I was overcome with emotion. He told me he understood, and I did more than anyone else did for him. I explained my stance on doing the good for the good and he told me again he would pay me back. "No, my brother. I never expected you to. That's the whole point. His eyes welled up more than they had before as he kept eating.

"My wife left us..." he said. "us?" I asked seeing what I was assuming was his wedding ring on his necklace and worrying about his answer. "Yeah, me and my little boy. She left us, and went to Louisiana." (I believe) he told me. "She took almost everything with her leaving me broke, and without any way to provide for my son." He took another bite and continued. "I just started this job, and it pays good. But I ain't gonna see a dime until next Thursday."

I asked him when the last time his son ate was, and he told me he had been going without so he could feed his son. I believe he said he could only afford ramen and hot dog weiners and was making his son that. I had always wanted to be a dad and I didn't really have the best examples growing up. At that time I was questioning ability to be a father.

Kandace and I were either planning to or trying to conceive, at the time and all I could think was being in a situation where I couldn't afford to take care of my son and what that must be doing to him. Much less foregoing food for himself to do what little he could. Thinking about it now as a father makes the emotion so much worse but at that moment it nearly broke my heart.

He didn't ask me for money. He told me he was going to find a way to get some groceries. That he didn't have anything to sell, but he would find a way. He nearly finished his entire sandwich by that time, and I asked why he was eating so quickly. He told me he had spent 30 minutes of his 60-minute lunch break asking people outside to buy him lunch so he didn't black out at work with no food.

In that moment...I had had enough. I wasn't going to put up with a situation like that that I had the power to change. I packed the rest of my sandwich up to take to work and said. "My brother. I know you don't have much time left but can you follow me to the Grocery store real quick?" He said "uh..sure" unsure of why I would ask him that. He followed me over to the ATM directly inside and upon realizing where we were said "I...No, my brother. You've already helped me enough."

"My brother..." I told him. "I don't trust these humans out here to help you, and I'm not going to let a hard-working single father and his son starve. It's just not going to happen." He started actually crying at that point and I did all I could not to do the same. I pulled out what I could afford to give him.

The number is not important, and I can't remember anyway, but it's not as much as I wanted to give him. I told him that I hoped what I gave him would get him through to payday and he hugged me (After asking.) I told him they would be ok and that we was an amazing father to sacrifice for his son like he had. The kind of father many kids unfortunately never had. I knew he needed to hear that and I'm glad I said it.

He kept trying to tell me he wanted to pay me back. And in the end, I finally told him how he could. "When you are on your feet and can afford to. Find someone who needs help like you did, and help them." I said. "That's what I'm doing now, and that's why I'm doing it. I continued.

As an Autistic adult, I came from a place where nobody would hire me, and no matter what I tried to make money, I fell flat on my face. I have been plagued with bad luck most of my life and have often felt cursed, so when I finally get on my feet and out of the bad times and see someone struggling to do the same just like I did, my first thought isn't to judge them or tell them to pull themselves up. It's to help them up.

He was a single dad with a new job trying to do right by his son. He was pulling himself up. But he needed help. Sometimes when people help themselves up, they still need a hand. And in a world of apathetic "not my problem" attitudes. Be that hand. Be that hand in spite of the judgmental onlookers, and naysayers. Yes. Guard yourself against being used, and abused but do what you can afford to do to help make their world, and by extension the rest of the world a better place.

And wherever you are, my brother, if you are by some random happenstance reading this. I hope you and yours are as well as me and mine. Thank you for being a shining example of fatherhood in a time where I was questioning my ability to be one.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

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Hell me make more content more often at PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE and PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS

#autistic #neurodivergent #storytime #father #fatherhood #fathersonlove #autism #actuallyautistic #actually autistic

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growingupautie · 4 years

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StoryTime: The White Card Incident

(2,770 words but worth the read.)

In January of 2013, I was promoted from a part-time weekend job as a technology sales representative for Lenovo to the Marketing Development Manager for Lenovo in charge of half of my entire city of Houston. For a while, I felt like I was on top of the world. I loved my job and traveling through my city. I loved meeting all the people in the 50 plus stores I had to visit and started to memorize a lot of them and what we talked about.

I even made my route have me end up near Chinatown on some days so I could stop by and eat lunch there (and get some things from my favorite bakery.) But just as Kandace and I were planning on using this newfound position to get an apartment together, something terrible happened. In October of that year, we got on our weekly conference call as we always did, but the mood seemed somber and no one was talking or laughing like they used to.

When our boss came on, she also seemed upset and had trouble getting her words out. I could tell that everyone on the call, all 20 plus of us from across the United States just wanted her to say what was happening so we could rip the bandaid off. After a minute of praise that felt hollow given the tone of the call, someone finally asked if she could get to the news we were told to expect.

She said "sorry" and continued to tell us that the parent company we work for had lost the contract with Lenovo after failed negotiations and our positions were being terminated immediately. The call somehow fell more silent. Everyone had questions. Myself included. But in the end, we found out most of what we wanted to know. The Lenovo branded cars we drove were to be returned, (I had let my vehicle stay broken down as I didn't need it and it would be expensive to fix.)

The laptop we were provided was to be returned as well along with the phone, and hotspot device. But the most important bit of info came when someone asked if we would be allowed to apply for unemployment. "Of course we would be able to. We paid into it, we worked, we should be able to get that back." but to our surprise, the boss said something along the lines of "no don't do that! We could get in trouble! We haven't paid into that!" All of us were stunned. Someone asked how that was even possible.

It turns out the loophole in the law they had found was that because the company was in Akron Ohio, and we all worked and paid taxes in our various other cities somehow they managed to not pay into it. We didn't get bogged down into the why or how, but all that meant to us was suddenly we were without cars and a paycheck and would be denied unemployment. I was devastated. I really thought I had found a place to grow and could see myself making a career out of it.

We were about to sign papers on an apartment and suddenly I'm without a job, without a working car, and without any kind of financial assistance. Some issues happened around my family and after a short time, I got my car somewhat fixed and I moved out of the house into Dadaw's (grandmother's) house. I tried frantically to get another job. After all, I had just been in charge if half of Houston for a big company. Surely I would be offered another position somewhere soon.

But as time went by, nobody had called. I had very little money left, and very little outside help if any. Hope was dwindling, relationships were strained. I had spoken to at least 20 job placement agencies. After my mom informed me that I had been diagnosed as Autistic as a child, I had reconnected with D.A.R.S. (Department of Rehabilitative Services) who help people with disabilities get help with work and other things.

But they refuse to help me based on my other medical issues because they closed my case before, and they refused to help me as an Autistic until I got rediagnosed. They paid for me to be rediagnosed, I did so with no sleep, having skipped dinner and breakfast, and with a ridiculous amount of stress on my shoulders.

I aced their IQ test minus the memory portion, and after a while of convincing the doctor I was Autistic through old stories and experiences and the fact that I had been diagnosed, he agreed. That day, I went home with my heart sunk in my chest. I felt like a failure for needing this kind of help. I felt like a broken or incomplete person because I couldn't do it on my own.

And after months of their "help," working with a bunch of disability-based job agencies, the "help" of 20 plus other job placement agencies I had saught out, and filling out applications online myself, no matter what I tried, I couldn't get a job anywhere. I couldn't afford to eat, and I didn't want Dadaw to pay for me as she often couldn't afford much. A few people in my life suggested I get food stamps. Several people in my life told me I should apply food stamps. But the idea of that in itself was terrifying.

But after a while, between eating very little, my friends taking me out from time to time, and constant pestering from my family I felt I was left with no choice. I went to the food stamp office with my head down, the people around me had the same downtrodden demeanor. When they called me back, I felt a rush of emotions. Guilt, remorse, sorrow, anger that it came to this.

But most of all, I felt embarrassed. Growing up, food stamps had been used as an insult toward the people around me, I knew at one point my family had needed them and used them and I felt like as someone who had been constantly bullied growing up, I was opening myself up for more. I played through a million scenarios in my head as I walked back. Someone I know seeing me at the checkout counter, the cashier silently judging me, the people around me, me dropping the white card with the unmistakable logo in front of someone.

I snapped out of it and sat down in the interview room to answer questions to determine my eligibility. But it felt like a police interrogation to me. I felt like I was cheating the system. Like it wasn't for me, but someone else who deserved it. Someone else who needed it. I felt the eyes of the interviewer boring into me as if to say "why are you even here?" I spoke up about to break. "I...I don't even want to do this." Her face changed from accusatory and annoyed, to shock.

I let her know that I felt like I had no other choice, that I felt embarrassed. I explained my situation, and she looked at me almost begrudgingly endearing. "Son, if you need help, you need help." she said. "That's what it's here for." I felt somewhat relieved or at least a little better about not actually cheating the system. They accepted my application, and I was approved.

When I got the card, I was once again filled with dread. Replaying the simulations over and over in my head a million times. Finding a way to cheat the system in a way to avoid being bullied, I realized I could use the self-check-out. Then quickly realized if I get one of those "please remove items from cart" messages or something else regarding my card, someone would have to come up and help me anyway.

Still, I figured it was my best hope for avoiding confrontations, and I parked outside the grocery store. I checked my balance on the card and made sure everything was working, went in and got a basket, and started shopping while feeling like a spy. Like somehow I would get caught and it would be the end of the road for me. I'm honestly surprised nobody thought I was shoplifting as nervous as I was.

When I was done, I walked over to the self-check-out area doubling down on my earlier decision when a woman stopped me and said they were all closed for repairs. Panic set in. I didn't say anything. I just sort of smiled and walked away with my basket.

The 15 items or less line was almost empty but I had too many items. The next line had too many people. The next few lines had the same amount of people and items, and I started doing the math on which cashier was scanning and bagging faster vs how judgmental they look trying to get myself into the best possible situation.

Eventually, I found a line sandwiched between two closed lines with only one woman and her 2 kids in the basket with a few items. The cashier didn't seem to care much about anything and didn't seem like a gatekeeper or any other kind of threat. And the woman in front of me seemed sad and aloof as well so I felt like things were going to be ok. The woman smiled at me and apologized for having so many items. "It's not that much. It's fine." I responded with a smile.

But suddenly from behind me, I felt a high strung angry presence. Like a monster who's in a hurry and I'm in his path. As each item was scanned, he started saying "Oh God...." "Of course..." and "Just great..." in a demeaning and monstrous tone. The woman continued to hide her face with her back to him and sulked further into herself as he continued. "Cash or credit?" The cashier asked in a monotone voice. "I...uh...Here..." The woman said quietly and she tried to hand her..."A food stamp card..." I thought to myself.

I realized that I and the woman felt the same at that moment. In need of help, but afraid to seek it out, and even afraid to use it once that help had been provided. I started to piece the scene together realizing the kids had beat up shoes and clothes, and the woman did as well. They were clearly hungry and frightened by this angry rhino of a person and just wanted to get some food. I started to think of all the scenarios that could have put them in that situation. But then I realized it didn't matter.

Only a moment had passed while I thought through all of these things, the children were terrified of this man already and then he saw it..."OH GREAT! MY TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!" he screamed scaring the kids even more. He began to verbally narrate what he thought her situation was. accusing her of getting "knocked up" to "leech off the system." He said people like them were a "drain on the economy" all while using language inappropriate to use around her children.

At that moment after the initial shock wore off, I grasped my card in my pocket as anger built up inside of me. I knew what I was afraid of, I had built it up in my head, and this ignorant jerk was making it a reality for a down on their luck mom and her two scared children. I immediately pivoted. "What did you just say?" I told him with a face that said: "I dare you to repeat that." apparently too blustered to care, he said, "I SAID PEOPLE LIKE HER ARE A DRAIN ON THE ECONOMY!"

I whipped my card out and held it in-between two fingers right in his face. "And what about me?" I spoke out with an angry but in control tone. "I...Uh..." he said as it became clear to me, like most bullies, this one was only doing this because he thought his targets (this mom and her kids) would not be able to defend themselves. I yelled at him more, trying to control my voice so I didn't frighten the kids anymore "Well, you had all kinds of ignorant crap to say a minute ago!"

He snapped out of his shock bullies go into when someone stands up to them. "Wh...Why don't you mind your own business?! I WASN'T EVEN TALKING TO YOU! WHY DON'T YOU FIND ANOTHER LINE!" He started to build up steam again making the children huddle in the cart.

Having had enough of his nonsense I moved my card, leaned in with a scowl, got uncomfortably close to his face and angrily whispered: "Why don't YOU find another line before I find one for you..." a terrified look came across his face as he realized doubling down on his ignorance would not get the job done and after a pained audible gulp in the "big man's" throat he was frantically on his way spouting off "That's what I thought" and other face-saving phrases.

I timidly turned back to the family making sure I had dropped my "don't mess with me" persona (My Autistic folks know this one) so I didn't scare them. I asked them if they were ok. Her eyes were filled with tears, and so were the kids. She smiled at me and thanked me for stepping in. I told her kids that it was ok because he was gone now and offered to walk them to their car. She said she appreciated it but they would be fine.

The checkout woman handed her a receipt and obviously wanted to stay out of the situation. I saw the woman leave and she smiled at me on the way out. I had enough items that it took a good 5 minutes to check me out. I realized in that time I was no longer afraid of being seen with my card. Maybe it was the adrenaline of standing up to that bully, maybe it was outing myself to protect that family, after all, it would be silly to be afraid now that everyone had clearly seen it.

I paid, went outside, and on my windshield was a note on small lined paper that had been torn out of a planner of some sort that said: "You will be blessed all the days of your life." I don't know who left it, or if it was in response to what happened, or even how they found out which car was mine, but it was there.

The message here is two-fold. First, it is easy to get caught up in thinking you don't need help, or that even if you did it isn't for you. "It's for someone more deserving." sometimes it's just the fear of being bullied or ridiculed for accepting it. And because of this, a lot of people wait until they hit "the bottom" before they ever consider asking and even then they might not.

In a better world, we would destigmatize the need for help. Therapy, government assistance, shelters, these things are in place to help people, and if people need help, they should be able to get it without being berated to tears over it. The last thing someone who's questioning if they need help or not needs is some blowhard with their ignorant opinions of why they don't. Which brings me to the second message.

If you see something like this happening, and you have the power to step in whether you are personally affected or not, do it. This includes all forms of bullying. Bullies are cowards. They may double down, but once these types of people realize that we won't allow this anymore and there are actually people who will stand against them, they buckle under the pressure. If you see it, shut it down.

This has been another [Growing Up Aspie] Storytime. If you'd like to help me make more content more often, please consider supporting me at Paypal.me/growingupaspie or with a monthly pledge of $1 or more at patreon.com/irishwolfproductions. Thank you for your support.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

#autism #selfworth #story #growingupaspie #autistic #aspie #storytime #foodstamps #help #bully #bullies #gatekeeper

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growingupautie · 4 years

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For a limited time my digital portraits are on sale at 50% off! Message me for details! Like, and share to boost. Thank you!

#autism #aspergers #autistic #autistic pride #drawing #drawings #illustration

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growingupautie · 4 years

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A yo! I want to give a shout out to Fierce Autie for two very awesome things.

1: Going on The Doctor Oz show and fighting against these ignorant bleach peddling quacks, and defending Autistic children at risk of being harmed. You can watch the show here: [clickhere]

And 2: For wearing my very own "We Are The People the Anti-vaxxers Warned You About" t-shirt which you can get for yourself here: [clickhere]

Keep up the fight! d^_^b I'm so freaking out right now about both things.

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growingupautie · 4 years

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Right now, when you donate $1 or more at the link below, you can get both [Growing Up Aspie]: Year One, and my children's book The Boy Who Lost His Stims. Donate now at: PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE Thank you for your support!

#send help #actuallyautistic #autistic #Autism #autism awareness #autism spectrum #autistic culture #autistic pride #autistic dad #autistic life #autistic experiences #autistic and proud #i need support #support #donate #free books #struggling

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growingupautie · 4 years

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I am in desperate need of help to continue. To sum up:

1. Laid off from January until June.

2. Still recovering financially.

3. New job hired me permanently at a huge paycut and I was already struggling.

4. Desperately need support to stay afloat and keep making content that helps Autistic people.

Quickest ways to help?

1: You can support me monthly at PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS there is still the rest of today to pledge your support so I can recieve it for January.

2: But even quicker with a one-time donation at PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE

3: or on Cash App: $thatonewolf

Even if its $1, if enough people do the same, it would help immensely. Thank you for support.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

Please like and share to boost visibility.

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growingupautie · 4 years

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Storytime: "An Ignorant Proposal"

When I was a bit younger, I was grocery shopping with the rest of the Wallmartians in an unnamed superstore. *cough* I often people watch when I am out and about because it helps me (an Autistic person) learn how to navigate different personality types, situations, etc based on what I/we observe. So that is what I was doing.

That day, nothing was out of the ordinary for most of my trip until suddenly I overhear a clearly upset young woman being bullied by everyone in her family. They were calling her unattractive, telling her she was a nerd, and would "never get a man." They called her stupid using a more vulgar term and made fun of various other aspects about her.

My ears and face were turning red not because I was embarrassed for her, but instead because I was enraged at how she was being treated by her own family. I too knew that feeling as I was also the go too whipping boy in my family, and I was making it pretty clear that I was unhappy about this happening to her. At least to me.

Honestly, they could've thought I was upset that they were noisy, or in the way, or many other reasons, but before I could take the time to clarify, the "dad" gives one more "you'll never get a man" joke and then looks at me.

I gave my signature raised eyebrow look with a tinge of "ok?..." and missing my pretty obvious facial expressions he said "Hey!" and decided to bring me into their conversation. "Hey! Let me ask you a question!" he said as he put his arm around her in a jokingly caring way.

He yelled at me continuing his Comedy Central roast of his daughter. "Can you tell my daughter why no man like you would ever want to date her?" he laughed to himself probably not expecting an answer. "Uh...Sure actually." I said back putting something in my cart. His face lit up clearly thinking I had planned to tear her down with the rest of them family.

The girl was visibly upset by that time. She had tears in her eyes and I felt the familiar ache in her heart. The mom, dad, and younger sister had obviously been picking on her for a while. I walked closer to her. She had glasses like me, long brownish blackish hair, she seemed incredibly intelligent which to me explained the ignorant bullying by those around her, and then I realized there was a good chance she herself was Autistic..."Ok..." I said after taking everything in.

"Your daughter is..." I started, as her dad leaned in with an ignorant look. "a beautiful person..." I continued as his face became confused. "She has her own style, she has an amazing personality, and she seems like an extremely brilliant person." His face soured with an even more confused look which turned into a somewhat embarrassed ignorant grimace.

"Honestly, if I wasn't completely spoken for, I would definitely consider dating her." She smiled and a sort of unspoken "Thank you" not for saying that I would, but for standing up for her and proving them wrong. I paused.

"There is one glaring drawback though..." I said. But before anyone could ask me what it was I added: "Her dad is a huge prick." her entire family's mouths fell open in absolute shock. "Yeah. Doesn't feel so great does it." I said to him. I looked back at her and told her something that took me a long time to learn.

"Never confuse your worth with the inability of the people around you to see it."

I glanced at her family and back at her. I nodded at her with a smile and said "Miss" to excuse myself, looked back at him and nodded in a similar fashion but with a disgusted look. "Human" and walked off to continue shopping.

The moral here isn't "Cool guy Nathan does it again." It's what I said earlier. People are not good at judging worth. They are only good at judging worth as it pertains to their wants and needs. (and even then it's questionable.)

And some people use their ignorance to parade their ignorant opinions of what has value or not as fact when in fact it can barely be classified as opinion half the time because it is probably being parroted from an equally ignorant source.

So as I said before. Don't confuse your worth with the inability of the people around you to see it. And don't confuse people's opinions as facts no matter how adamant they seem. This is a common Autistic pitfall as we take other people's certainty as fact. It is not. Oh lord, it is not.

You are and have always been worth more than any opinion anyone has ever had about you.

-Nathan McConnell

Stay tuned for an important message from [Growing Up Aspie]

#illustration #story #storytime #autism #autistic #growingupaspie #aspie #aspergers #autism support #worth #selfworth #self worth

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