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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Chan: [looks at felix] one taught me love
Chan: [looks at seungmin] one taught me patience
Chan: [looks at changbin, being egged on by jisung and Minho into eating a tide pod] one taught me kids are so fukiNG STUPID SEO CHANGBIN PUT THAT THING DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD-
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Jisung: The stars are very beautiful tonight
Hyunjin: yeah...
Jisung: you know who else is beautiful?
Hyunjin: *blushes* who?
Jisung: Minho
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Chan: How are we supposed to get cake ready in an hour?
Hyunjin: We could buy a cake in less than an hour
Felix: No, I don’t wanna buy a cake...
Jeongin: We should just draw a cake! It’s the though that counts, right?!
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Jin, with Yeonjun and Huening Kai behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes... three.
Jin: Oh, my god- TAEHYUN FUCKING FELL OFF
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Namjoon: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.
Jimin: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned” vs “Sorry daddy, I’ve been bad.”
Namjoon: Great news! Language has been cancelled!!!!
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Taehyung: okay, let’s stop using the term ‘butthurt’, we’re not twelve anymore.
Jungkook: you sound a little asstroubled.
Hoseok: a little bootybothered if you ask me.
Jimin: someone’s having a tushytantrum.
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Suga: You can say ‘Have a nice day’ and there’s no problem.
Suga: But when you say 'Enjoy your next 24 hours’ you sound like a murderer.
Namjoon:...
Namjoon: Yoongi, please. We’re in a meeting..
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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*to the mirror*
Jin: I don’t dress to impress, I dress to depress. I look so good, I make everyone hate themselves.
*fly kiss*
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Jk: Hey Hyung what’s for lunch today?
Jin: ...Food
Jk: No, like what are we having?
Jin: An unwanted conversation.
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Taehyung: Why do people even talk to babies? It’s not like they can understand anything.
Yeontan:
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Jimin: truth or dare.
Jungkook: truth.
Jimin: how many hours have you slept this week?
Jungkook: dare.
Jimin: go to sleep
Jungkook: i dont like this game.
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Namjoon: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you have to act wisely.
Jimin: Ok.
Yoongi: Sure.
Namjoon: If you want to live, give me all your money.
Jimin: Bold of you to assume that I have money.
Yoongi: Bold of you to assume that I want to live.
Namjoon: Guys, no-
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incorrectbtsskzz · 4 years
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Namjoon: Where is Taehyung? I hear explosions and he’s gone missing. I’m sure that is not a coincidence.
*in the distance*
Taehyung: I GO BY THE NAME OF MONSTER WELCOME TO THE MONSTER PLAZA THIS IS CYPHER IMMA RIDER IMMA RIDE IT LIKE A BIKER OH SHI-
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