My Heart Is Collapsing
Pairing: Josie Saltzman x Fem! Reader, Josie Saltzman x Hope Mikaelson
Summary: Reader knowing her relationship is fading and how Josie is falling in love with Hope Mikaelson. As a way to accept it and gain closure, she breaks up with Josie through a song.
Warning: Sadness, Angst
A/n: Everyone is 21+ and in their junior year/senior year of college. The Salvatore Boarding School will have that extension of going up to college. Okay? Okay. This is all fiction and for your enjoyment!
If you want part two, comment and I’ll be up for it. Oh and the song is Put A Little Love On Me by Niall Horan.
You weren’t sure how it came down to this but you knew it was about time to acknowledge what was happening. Mentally you understood the concept, however, your heart (and reality) figured your relationship was hitting that bump in the road because classes tore you both away and less moments were being shared. You got to the point where you only saw her an hour in the morning and an hour at night, but you both weren’t ever alone. Lizzie would join when she felt like teasing you, Mg was there because of Lizzie, Landon stuck around at times if he was bored, Raf liked the company, Kaleb made food and had you two test it out, and Hope...well, she always goes where Josie goes and vice versa. There was never separating them.
Of course, they all only were there for about ten minutes before departing, but the one person who stayed would be the auburn-haired girl. It would be out of Josie’s plead (and you were never one to deny the brunette). While it wasn’t ideal for you, you never questioned it and you actually were quite close with the tribrid. The only issue you had with her was the love she carried for Josie but not finding a reason to hate her.
You respected her and she respected you. Especially your relationship. Because Hope Mikaelson was simply that kind of friend. A friend who wouldn’t jeopardize someone’s relationship, thought about everyone else’s feelings before hers, chose risking her life to keep everyone safe, acknowledging when she’s in the wrong, and holding in her feelings for your girlfriend. Nothing was done in a way you’d considered sabotage. No. The only thing that happened was the beginning of the end in the way that was only natural.
You just wished you noticed it sooner. At least before you purchased a ring (you’ve been with her since senior year of high school and now you’re junior in college).
She began to fade away from your touch and gravitated towards Hope’s. Physical contact became limited, not carrying the amount of emotion it once did. It seemed her contact came from sympathy with a hint of feelings still there but from you it was out of sheer desperation and desire for her to go back to you. The words you spoke to her were pleads and questions wondering if she still was yours (even when you knew she was fading), and while she reassured you with staying by your side, you understood the confusion that laid in her eyes. She wasn’t sure what was happening but until she realized reality, she stayed loyal to you. And you (internally) thanked her.
Everything that was vanishing from you, transferred over to the girl who had no idea how much she affected your relationship. This wasn’t her intention and it would never be. But then again, you really shouldn’t be as shocked as you were. Josie had admitted to crushing on Hope when she was 12 years old. Hope confessed to you about reciprocating those feelings when she was 14. It seemed like when those two truths came out, they fused together and became one.
It took Josie being consumed by darkness when you made the decision to let her go. While she wasn’t fighting against you, she was fighting but not for you. And you, well, you continued to fight for your one-sided relationship. Until the first person she locked eyes with and ran to wasn’t you.
__
Preparing a date for a breakup was a pretty ironic thing to do. Figuring out the place to have it took a while before you decided the old mill. The old mill had been a sacred place for you both. The most valuable moments have been created there, and that includes the heartaches. What’s one more?
With the way things were set up, the last thing someone would expect it to be was a breakup but you knew Josie inside out and the only way to get through her is a gesture that captures her attention. Even if it will hurt her more than it has already hurt you.
You laid down a few blankets on the wooden floor, wrapping a couple lines of fairy lights around and placing flowers at the edge of the corners. Pillows were propped up against a few others as you checked around making sure the final details were prepared for the night you had planned.
Was this how you wanted things to end?
Before you could doubt yourself, the sound of light footed steps entered and you looked up to see the one you loved. She delicately stood in place while fiddling with the tulips you had purchased and had sent to her room. It warmed your heart that she still admired what you did for her. If only it could continue on.
Without saying a word, you gently take her hand in yours and guided her to sit. She displayed a smile of gratitude before opening her mouth to speak, “What’s this for, Y/n?” She asked.
As a response, you stand and head towards the back before coming back with an album of photos. Engraved was your name and hers. When you open it, the first thing to appear had been the note you wrote to her the first time she befriended you. While it meant nothing to everyone around, it meant the world to you both. It signified an emotion that had ignited inside of you when you made the vow to captivate her heart and fill it with love.
You successfully did.
However, you didn’t manage to have enough to make her stay in love or maybe you did but her heart was rather captured by someone else. And neither of you noticed until now.
“I remember when we talked about how we’d look back at the moments we’d create. Four years ago I wasn’t sure we’d make it this long. But it’s been four years and you’re sitting here with me, holding a piece of myself. And in those four years we’ve experience more than I ever thought I’d experience...”
You kept your attention on her as she made her way through the pages of photos and letters you collected throughout your journey. Her smile never left her face but you knew it would when she reached the last page.
But she never did.
“I don’t think I can finish reminiscing those memories without wanting to cry. At least not in front of you. This is all very beautiful, y/n. What made you want to do this? I mean I feel like I’m missing an important date. Please don’t tell me that I forgot something serious. If I’ve become one of those girl-”
You let out a chuckle of reassurance and placed a hand on top of hers.
“No, Josie. You didn’t forget anything. You never do,” Except the relationship you two had. “this is actually something I’ve been planning. It was the only way I could do this without freaking out or messing anything up. I just want you to understand that whatever happens, I will forever give you my unconditional love. No matter where we are in life. Okay?”
“Wait, what are you-”
“-I love you, Josette Olivia Saltzman...”
You made your way over to the piano that had been set up across the room, sitting down before taking a glance at the brunette. Maybe this was how things were meant to be.
Fingers dragged over the keys as a warm up in order to set the tune. You wanted this to end in a love of peace and forgiveness.
“Hope Mikaelson, treat her the way I know you will...” Your voice cracks and the only thing you see out of the corner of your eye is her painfully realizing what this whole thing was about.
The melody kicks in and in a few seconds you let your voice do the damage:
We fight we get high holding on to love
We came down 'cause there was nothing holding us
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart
Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go?
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low?
Another Friday night tryna put on a show
Do you hate the weekend 'cause nobody's callin'?
I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin
So, darlin'
Put a little love on me
Put a little love on me
When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancin'
I look around as my heart is collapsin'
'Cause you're the only one I need
To put a little love on me
We wrote and we wrote
'Til there were no more words
We laughed and we cried
Until we saw our worst
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are?
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart?
Last night I lay awake
Stuck on the things we say
And when I close my eyes
The first thing I hear you say is
Put a little love on me, ayy
Put a little love on me
When the lights come up we're the only ones dancing
I look around and you're standing there asking
You say, "You're the only one I need
So put your love on me
As the last of the chords fade away, you are soon met with silence and the sound of her heart breaking. A gut wrenching ache strikes through you. It wasn’t any easier for you to witness her in this state. Purely because you’re the one causing the hurting.
“I love you. You say you love me back, but we both know that you love her more. I am not upset with you, her, or the fact that we couldn’t fight for us. Because it is no one’s fault and it never will be...”
You knew she wanted to argue with you. Though, it wasn’t enough to deny the truth.
“She held you more than I ever did. Helped you find the person you needed to be. Understood you better than I. Fought your fight not for herself or for anyone else but for you. Shared a connection of speaking without speaking. Treated you as an equal. Loved you from the moment you met. Still does and always will. You and I? We began a trial that had a limit. The best features came with that trial. We soaked and used every bit of that up. Now it’s time for the full version. Just not with me,” Moving the sit back, you stand but don’t bother to spare the girl a glance.
“When I leave, she’ll be waiting for you. And she will keep a hold of your fragile but loving heart. I’m thankful that she’s the one for you because I knew I could never be. Goodnight, Joy.”
Through her tearful eyes, she helplessly watched as you exited the building that was her heart.
With one last look over your shoulder, you see the one and only Hope Mikaelson head inside holding Josie’s favorite drink, snack, and movies.
She knew and you didn’t even tell her.
“You better marry her, dear sister.”
At least your father would be proud that two Mikaelsons aren’t trying to kill one another. Klaus always did tell you and your sister to be careful if you both fell in love with the same girl, because it’s not the sort of thing that ends well.
/
“You were going to propose?!”
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