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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews, who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal. As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy. Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource.

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work.

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget.

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries.

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film. One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup.

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts.

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here.

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment.

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually.

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song.

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It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay.

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious.

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon.

This Fucking Guy

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully.

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design.

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars.

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS.

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not. It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and I still have most of the movie to go.

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you.

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things.

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home.

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk.

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos.

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up.

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart. If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he?

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special.

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby. That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”.

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here.

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film. Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so.

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies.

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level.

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen.

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night.

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON.

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free.

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it.

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him.

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND!

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to.

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right.

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens.

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse.

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it.

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected...

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant.

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out.

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review.

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying.

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head.

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig.

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy.

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still.

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not?

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to.

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout.

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around. This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up. He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him.

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me.

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales treasure of the lost lamp #ducktales 87 #scrooge mcduck #rip taylor #christopher lloyd #launchpad mcquack #webby vanderquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #duckworth #bentina beakley #merlock #djon #faris djinn #movies #disney plus #disney

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flyingpochama948 · 3 years

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Things that really grind my gears about the WiR sequel. Warning this is going to be negative so don't read if you like the movie

No Bad-Anon meeting shown. Granted you see some of the members in the background but that's it. Cause showing that Ralph had other friends besides Vanellope would surely ruin the plot

Which brings me to my next point. Ralph was made to look like he had no friends other than Vanellope. Yes they are my brotp and they had cute moments. But Ralph does have other friends. Again, I think this was done to make it look like he had an unhealthy attachment to Vanellope.

We were promised Mario but there was no Mario. They even removed Bowser. Though maybe Nintendo took one look at the plot and went “lol nope”.

The Sugar Rush game console is suddenly a 1P model instead of a 2P model. Again, for plot convenience. Cause the unplugged thing wouldn’t have worked if another seat was functioning.

WTF was Ralph doing in Sugar Rush during game hours?? Like the whole basis of the first film was that his game was doomed of he wasn't in it. Get back to your game Ralph or so help me.

Litwak unplugs Sugar Rush MERE MOMENTS after the steering wheel breaks off. In the first movie he let Fix-It Felix Jr. stay plugged in with just an Out of Order sign on the screen. Why do that now? Has there been a power shortage in recent years so maybe games that go OoO get unplugged right away now?

27 years??? 27 years. Okay let's go with that.

Who is this lady and what have you done with the real Calhoun? I understand she probably became a lot friendlier being with Felix but I always imagined she'd retain some of her toughness. She would have kept those kids in line the moment they acted up.

Felix and Calhoun were horribly ignored. A complaint that is the most prominent in the fandom. I kinda wanted them to be on the adventure with Ralph and Vanellope. But being that they wanted to go with the adoption thing I would have thought they would have spent more than 3 minutes on it. There were a lot of deleted scenes showing them bonding with the racers and that would have been great to see.

Shank... I don't need to say more. No maybe I do. I’m sad we got this watered down design when we could have had one of those gorgeous big girls from the concept art. But also, to me, she is a very uninteresting character. Just the standard badass female with very few personality traits that you see a lot of movies dishing out lately in the name of woke feminism. Again, I stress, this is an opinion, not a fact. But it’s not just this but how she acts later on in the film which I point out a bit later.

Ralph is made to look like an idiot doing these memes to get money for a steering wheel. They were meant to be funny but I cringed way too much. I get Ralph was also humiliated a lot in the first film but at least it followed along with the plot. And were funny without trying to force it on us. Unlike these memes.

I love them but the Disney princess scene dragged on for way too long. The whole part with Disney properties did. Can't have Nintendo characters but we can have Storm Troopers and Baby Groot!

Vanellope running to Shank to talk about her problems and not Ralph. Then deciding to race in Slaughter Race not for any other purpose then to have fun despite the fact she could die. The fact that the adult Shank let her do it. Which I still believe she did because she was bored like Vanellope. I’ve mentioned before that Vanellope is very impressionable and Shank is the role model whether she likes it or not. And she acts like a very poor one. She should have told Vanellope to go talk to Ralph immediately and maybe return home to weigh her options. Though really, this is still the WiR universe where you should definitely not leave your game. She as a video game character should get this.

And here we go. The coup de gracé of Ralph's portrayal and why it infuriates me. Despite the fact that in the last film that him accidentally bringing a virus into a game nearly destroyed it, he just thought "well maybe it won't be as bad this time" and PURPOSEFULLY brought one into another game. And he does it WHILE VANELLOPE IS IN THERE???

Just the whole Ralph insecurity virus thing never sat well with me. Especially when all those Ralph bodies form a giant Ralph. Just...eww. Though yes, he handled it terribly, he still had valid issues with abandonment. And I feel they played it off as if he was some manchild who couldn’t except change. Which made people have those awful takes of Ralph being an incel and was mad that he couldn’t control women.

My brotp is now officially "co-dependent" for the sake of the plot and Disney princess dreams. Yay...

It's okay for Vanellope to just straight up abandon her game despite that being a total no-no in the first film. Granted she's not as essential of a character as Ralph is and was already absent from gameplay for 15 years but she's still the leader of Sugar Rush. They really need her there.

Ralph and Vanellope are forced apart and now she has a new best friend, the totally flawless badass Shank.

Not once is Vanellope called out for anything she did and that angers me more. Vanellope I love you and will defend you till the end of time and yes I understand you endured incomprehensible trauma from those in your game but seriously. As a video game character, you just can’t just leave your game. Like maybe if they went that route that Vanellope was still traumatized by how the other racers used to treat her I would understand a lot more. But they just play it off as boredom. Boredom that can easily be solved WITHOUT abandoning the game and your best friend. Ralph could have made new tracks for her to have when the game isn't being played.

The Sugar Rush racers being nice to each other now was shown in such a disingenuous way that it's unbelievable. That interaction between Taffyta and Rancis almost seemed like sarcasm. I get it's for comedic effect but I don't like it.

Just the whole concept of the movie focusing more on the internet and capitalism more than it did gaming. Online gaming was said to be explored in this film but they only went to one game. The rest was eBay and Disney and memes and a phony Snapchat/Youtube/Twitter hybrid.

I wanted to maybe watch the film again to get a bit of refresher but I cannot bring myself to do so. I just can't. It infuriates me too much. IDK I guess the moral of the film brings up bad memories for me. As I feel for Ralph when you have a friend you were so attach to decides to hang out with someone new. Either another platonic friend or someone they're romantically involved with. It's happened way too many times in my life. And might partially be the reason I fear having friendships now.

#pochama rants

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tornrose24 · 3 years

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Belle.

@tomboy13theadventurequeen.... you picked my favorite Disney Princess. And some time before my birthday at that! I want to give you so many hugs right now!

-My favorite thing about Belle is that she doesn't conform to what people expect her to be and that she takes time to get to know people.

-I was about to say I think she should have realized there was a reason the 'West Wing was forbidden,' but she should have left that rose alone because MAYBE there was a reason the Beast kept it in a jar? (the sequels don't exist in my mind because they made her look bad... yeah let's not get into what those did to her).

-OMG ITS MY FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE! Ask me what my favorite movie is from any animated studio (some more obvious than others if you know me well enough) and I'll always say this one is my favorite from Disney! I love the music, I love the story, and I love the designs, backgrounds, and oh my god the countryside shots are GORGEOUS! I'd go on and on about this if I could!

-I missed this on my last few responses to this answer. While I'm fond of Belle's pink dress, I adore her golden dress which probably wasn't easy to animate with all those details back then. I love how its designed and how it moves when animated. While the live action movie version of the gold dress is ok, I've seen designs for it beforehand that were a lot better and more period accurate. (Not to mention I kind of hated how most of Belle's dresses in that film looked exactly the same when it came to certain details... and how the HELL did the gold dress fall off her in the climax?!)

-A lot of the songs are very good, but I'll go with the title song as its so beautiful and the animation for it is breath taking. (The way the song and scene was done in the live action version was actually really good, but I loved how it was remixed into this grand piece when we got an actual trailer (and not that damn teaser trailer) for the film, like how Bear Necessities had an epic orchestral remix for the live action Jungle Book trailer). For musical score, it's the transformation sequence–it always stayed with me as a child and it has stayed with me since, and its just so full of wonder, mystery, magic, and epic ness.

Its a shame lyricist Howard Ashman died the year the movie came out. He had a huge hand in this film as well as the Disney Renaissance and future Disney films. I wouldn't be surprised if Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast were personal for him, given what he went through, especially when you consider how the songs could be a reflection of the times he lived in. I appreciate his work and I hope he has been an inspiration for many.

-It's a toss between Philipe the horse and Chip. I wish more had been done with Philipe (and I'd love to know what happened to him after he got Belle to the castle), but I liked that he stuck with her and does care for her happiness. (And it was cute to see him bond with the Beast in the live action film). Chip is just a sweet kid, and he might not have the full grasp of the situation that everyone had during the film, but this kid single handedly ensured that Belle and the Beast got their happily ever after by being in the right place at the right time and he deserves a LOT of appreciation for that. (Which is a shame that they didn't go that route in the musical and live action version).

-We both love reading and being a bit nerdy about it, as well as desiring adventure outside of home. Well, I might not be reading as much actual books as I used to, but they do provide adventures that you can't easily have. Also, I like that Belle doesn't take things for granted at face value and I'm like that at times because we both don't fall for guys in just solely because they are attractive (Sadly, I've seen a lot of Gaston types. Not just in the world of dating and real life, but we have too many politicians like Gaston).

-I'd rank the Beast/Adam pretty high. Yes, he has a temper, but I like that he's a flawed character who HAS to work on turning himself around. And when he's the best version of himself, he's very sweet, adorkable, and can be one hell of a badass. Hell, if you've played Kingdom Hearts, the guy was determination incarnate in trying to save Belle (and proved to be a great ally to Sora when he needed help the most). And I do have to give him points for being willing to sacrifice his own happiness/humanity and let Belle go to her dad (though I admit it gets messed up when you realize that meant damning his own servants). Also 1-Screw the Stokholm Syndrome angle and 2-His human form ISN'T THAT BAD! He didn't WANT to be a beast.

-Belle is number one. She's overall the best and there's nothing about her that is Mary Sue-ish. She has a good heart and is capable of making mistakes, but she can tell a good person from a bad one.

#disney princesses #belle #beauty and the beast #disney princess ask #honestly I wish ashman got to live a long happy life but he at least left something wonderful for us

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maadorii · 3 years

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wait going back to my previous post about disney or whatever: frozen 2 literally had so much potential to build off from the first... and it didn’t. at the beginning the story felt promising but then it turned into slightly worse remake of the original. in the first, all of the characters were charming and likable. the writing was witty. olaf was actually quirky and funny. hans was alright, mediocre twist villain at best. elsa— eh. frozen 2 on the other hand... honestly felt like cash grab (as most of disney’s releases within the last 5-6 years are) no doubt, the animation overall was a major improvement from the last like wow, i can talk about how gorgeous this movie is but the fact everything felt lackluster compared honestly couldn’t make up for it. a lot of the characters that were cool and likable before, turned into the complete opposite. but i mean, at least elsa got her much needed character development right? which i will say wasn’t as rewarding as it should’ve been cause she still did some of things that were problematic to her character that she did in the first film in the sequel! will say, the “show yourself” sequence was astounding and probably the most impactful scene in the movie. had my flat out bawling at home cause wow.

now lilo & stitch on the other hand... a heartwarming and immersive story of a troubled girl who’s still dealing with traumatic shift of her family dynamics who develops an unlikely relationship with an alien “criminal” and form an unbreakable bond because of how remotely similar and different they are from one another. and the actual conflict portrayed with lilo and her sister nani is so real and executed so well??? still bugles me how this is the SAME DAMN COMPANY BYE

#—useless commentary ⁉️#i literally ranted for a sec omg #i seriously doubt anyone cares but oh well i guess!#i can talk for hours about this stuff please

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gale-gentlepenguin · 4 years

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Gale’s Top 5: Best Animated Reboots

Rules:

1. One per franchise (Like for example, if its Batman cartoon. I can’t pick another batman reboot. But I can pick a super man reboot)

2. I have to have Watched the series, Both the Original and the Reboot before I can make any judgements on it. ( So Spoiler, She Ra will not be on the List. because I have seen the Original She Ra, but not seen the current one.)

3. It has to be a complete reboot, it cant be a sequel series or simply the same show with updated animation. It has to be its own thing. (I.E Dragon Ball Z Kai is not a reboot, it is still the exact same plot wise as Dragon ball z, just cut out a lot of filler and updated the animation) I cant pick Batman Beyond, because that is technically a Sequel to Batman the Animated Series.

4. To be considered a Reboot, it needs to have source material to reboot from.

_______________________________________________________________________

5. Voltron: Legendary Defender

This is a very Divisive pick for me. Especially with how the last season went. But Despite the... Ball drop in that season. The show was very captivating! Gorgeous animation, wonderful universe building, interesting plot developments. The revamps to characters like Lotor and Pidge are my personal favorites in comparison to the original series. I found myself drawn in to the intense space battles as well as the fun filler episodes. Sure it cant beat the original in its cheesy dialogue and its initial impact on the giant robot genre. But it does develop the characters in interesting ways... until the last season. Which I am just going to say. If you get into this show. Stop just before starting the last season. Just do yourself that favor.

I still like the reboot and it did a lot right... It also just did a LOT wrong too...

4. Sonic Boom

I know this is quite a shock to see this higher then Voltron, but hear me out. This show is really f***Ing funny. This show is as good as the game it is based off of was awful.

Sonic and his friends play off each other wonderfully. Season 2 really shows off the best humor. Eggman steals the show whenever on screen. Its hilarious.

Though technically it is a reboot of Sonic so it counts.

What really sells the show is the witty dialogue. The show doesn't take itself too seriously and will make amazing jabs at themselves, the fandom, the games, etc. This show’s 4th wall breaking antics are something to behold, dead pool himself would give this a thumbs up.

People will argue that Sonic X or Sonic SatAm are superior. Sonic SatAM was only good because Eggman was so evil and really it was competing with that wacky other sonic cartoon.

Sonic X would have beaten this if Chris thorndyke had died at some point in the series but he didn't so it fails.

3. Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated

Scooby doo has so many f***ing reboots that you could argue it has had one every year for the last 20 years.

But let me tell you, Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated is head and shoulders above the rest.

The way this show went about character building, The comedic jokes, the tightly knit canon, the ever changing status quo, yet staying true to all of the characters. The ongoing mystery in the series, building up to by far, one of the most BAT S*** INSANE climaxes I have ever seen. It is so amazing the amount of callbacks and developments that occur in the show. It is hard to nail down. With how lack luster the other Scooby doo reboots were, this one just went bananas and took it to a full untapped level, and I love it.

Seriously, please check out this show if you love Scooby Doo. Even if you don't, just watch it for the amazing mystery.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

As someone that grew up with the 2003 Reboot on 4kids. Picking this one is no small feat.

I ADORE TMNT, It is one of my favorite Franchises of all time.

The 2012 reboot of the series gives us the most fleshed out versions of the turtles, re-introducing old characters and New characters. The intimidating performance of the Shredder.

I remember watching this and thinking that there was no way they could beat the series that was so good, it got 2 sequel series. (which both sucked) but still.

The show goes to great lengths to give character to each Turtle, and really shows the feud between Splinter/ Hamoto and Shredder/ Oroku.

The plot twists this show did were also quite incredible. I also feel this show captured the spirit of the original 1980′s cartoon while giving a much more modern flare to it. The 2003 version just couldn't balance as much as the other series could.

This one was consistently amazing all the way through and a perfect way to introduce people to the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Andre from black nerd comedy ( a personal fav Youtuber) did a lot of reviews on the episodes. Would recommend watching.

1. Ducktales (2017)

I say this without even a shadow of a doubt. Ducktales 2017 is by far, the greatest Reboot of an old tv series to have ever been created and potentially will ever be created.

I could write research papers about how each and every character has been improved. The inclusion of DELLA DUCK! Donald Duck’s best written interpretation to date.

But what sets this apart from all other reboots is the fact that this is an expanding universe of the Disney afternoon. This show is a Disney afternoon Reboot. It is a love letter to that time when kids would rush home to watch Disney.

Never has a reboot been so lovingly crafted. There is not a single thing wrong with this show. I can not feasibly think of a single fault in the show. The amount of heart and soul in every frame of this show is the equivalent of a Disney Renaissance.

Even if you have Never seen the Disney afternoon in any form. I would recommend this show, because it is still a really great show. it changes and grows, there are consequences and GOOD lessons learned.

I do my damnedest to watch every episode when it airs.

I seriously can not recommend this show enough.

What are you doing? Go watch it!!! Binge it! Enjoy it

#Ducktales #ducktales 2017 #vld #Voltron legendary defender #sonic boom #Tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #Scooby doo mystery incorporated #reboots #best reboots #Gale's top 5

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skinks · 4 years

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hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

#long post #films #this is like bill hader being asked to pick his fave comedies and he gives a 4 page list #he has such good taste though ahhahbfhfhfhh lemme talk with him nonstop about movies while i ride him. thank you

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sugarbutterbroadway · 4 years

Text

Davey Mine

A/n This is the sequel to Paint The Sky and I hope you guys enjoy it! if you do, a reblog or a comment can go a long way :)

October 12th. October 12th, 2025. October 12th 2025 at 4pm. October 12th, 4pm at Oheka Castle on Long island. Jack could hardly breathe. He was getting married today. He was getting married today at 4pm. He was getting married today at a castle! A real life castle,where he was getting married. To Davey. His Davey. His Davey, who smiled too wide and kissed too rough and was currently kicking ass as a High School History teacher. His Davey who reserved those gentle eyes for him,Les and their puppy Luna. His Davey who still functioned entirely on coffee and got excited when they passed the home goods section in TJ Maxx. His Davey who had gotten down on one knee two years prior, and asked him to marry him.

His Davey who he said no to at first because he thought it was a joke, he still cringed at the memory. His Davey who he wasn’t allowed to see until the ceremony and it was driving him crazy. He had tried to run out of his room multiple times but was tackled to the ground each time by Spot,Race and even Katherine.

Then he was put on house arrest. He wasn’t allowed to leave this room until it was time to walk down the aisle.

And he was bored! He was bored and lonely because everyone was too busy to entertain him. Medda was checking the guest books,Race was probably off doing god knows what with Spot,Charlie was working on the floral arrangements,Katherine was making sure the catering was taken care of and Sarah was with Davey. Elmer,Finch,Albert and Romeo were driving up from the city while JoJo and Specs were flying from California. Buttons,Henry and Mush had flown in from Europe the night prior. Skittery only lived a town or two over so he’d be arriving with the other guests. So he wondered how he had a small army on the way and he still felt so lonely. Realistically he knew why, he only wanted to see his fiance and all that mushy shit, but it was getting ridiculous. He had a few hours to waste before he could see Davey, see him and kiss him and get to be Mr. Jack Kelly-Jacobs. He smiled, he couldn’t wait to call himself that. He could at least try to appreciate the place he was staying in, it was gorgeous.

Davey had really gone the extra mile--even though Jack had assured him he would be fine getting married in a horse stable as long as it meant marrying him--but Davey had just kissed his cheek and promised that it would be a dream come true. And it was, the bed in his room was absolutely gigantic, and he--though he was told several times not to--still had the urge to do somersaults on it.

The windows were huge and the curtains felt more expensive than anything he could afford, it still made his stomach turn to think about how much money went into this. It was expensive, but weddings only happened once so it was fine, it would be fine, he just needed to stop thinking about it. His favorite part had to be the crowns, Davey had got them matching crowns in gold and silver, and they were to die for. Jack never really had expensive taste, that was all Race, but if Davey kept spoiling him like this he just might turn. His suit hung near the window, a crimson red color embroidered with gold. This thankfully didn’t cost him a dime, Medda was more than happy to make it for him. He offered to pay multiple times but she said seeing him happy was more than enough. It was a beautiful suit, it looked professional. Sure back in her college days she worked on costumes in the theatre but this, she had truly outdone herself. It fit him like a glove and made him feel like a million bucks.

And the locket, how could he forget about the locket? It was a gold painted locket made by Sarah and he’d been wearing it for weeks. On both sides were pictures of them. One in first grade and the other at their engagement party. He fell in love with the locket immediately and made a secret promise to never keep it out of his sight. It made him a little teary eyed to think of how excited six year old Jack would have been to see all of this. How timid he would’ve been to touch anything lest he break it and get his hide torn up by one of the orphanage workers. Jack grimaced and out of spite ran his hands along everything in the room, he was done being afraid. After he had touched every little trinket in the room he flopped back on the bed with a groan. Someone needed to come entertain him soon before his mind started wandering and he had a breakdown.

He was left to his own devices for a little more than an hour before someone came--well multiple someone’s came, and they came in a pack. There was a knock and Jack had barely said ‘come in’ before the boys barged in.

“Hey!-”

“Congratulations, Jack!”the chorus rang, and soon enough he was being pulled on by a different set of arms trying to hug him. He didn’t want to be dramatic, but he was an affectionate man and it felt amazing to hug some of the friends he hadn’t seen in years. They all looked damn good too, wearing the matching robes that Katherine had insisted on. JoJo with always the widest grin pulled Jack into another hug.

“I always knew it would be Davey,”JoJo whispered, before pulling away. Next he was passed onto Buttons, and boy did Jack have a lot to say.

“Benjamin Buttons”He teased and was met with a shove to his shoulders. He laughed and against Button’s will pulled him in for a bear hug.

“Yeah yeah it’s good to see you too”Buttons said, muffled by Jack’s shirt.

“Oh stop gripin”He scoffed, “I ain’t seen you since we graduated”

“That ain’t my fault”Buttons said, “I see a scholarship, I take it”

Jack rolled his eyes, “Yeah, all the way in Scotland. So tell me, any pretty girls caught your eye?”

“Jack, I'm crushed,”Buttons said, but his eyes twinkled with mischief. “You know the only girl I got eyes for is JoJo”

“Hey, listen here you litt-”

The group quickly dissolved into high school level chaos and Jack felt at home. It reminded him of day’s in the living room at Medda’s taken for granted. Sure he was happy to be out of high school, but he couldn’t help but miss it. It’s like someone yelled ‘scatter!’ the second they graduated and they all split up across the globe. He knew it would happen--he was there for every single acceptance letter, but it hadn’t sunk in until it was only him,Davey,Spot and Race left right where they started.

JoJo had moved out to California to pursue acting,Specs had moved out there for UCLA. Elmer had gone to culinary school,Finch had moved for college,Albert was his roommate so he went too and Romeo got a job at one of Medda’s theaters. Buttons had moved to Scotland for school, while Henry and Mush had moved to London just for the adventure. And Skittery, he was moving up to Massachusetts for college too the following year. Jack was proud, it made his heart burst to think of how far some of them came--how far he had come himself. But he would always find himself thinking about when times were easier, when they were younger and vibrating with untapped potential. He had a hard time living in the moment, he was just always thinking. But he was trying, and he would try his hardest today because he didn’t want to look back and remember his wedding being a blur.

“Any of you smell smoke?”Race teased, and Jack blinked. Once, then twice, because when did Race get in here? And where has he been all morning?

“huh?”Jack asked.

“You were just thinkin so hard that...ah forget it, you missed the joke”Race waved dismissively. “The boys called me in cause you were lookin pale, you got cold feet? Cause I can sneak you out the wind-”

“No”He said, scrunching up his face. That was the last thing he wanted to do, he just wanted to see Davey.

“Then what is it?”Race asked, “You look really serious, it’s kind of concerning”

“I just...I was just thinking about how much I love all of you--not you,Race--but just all of you guys” He said, gesturing to the guests. He ignored Race’s squawk of indignation and continued. “Some of you I met freshman year,some of you I’ve known since the refuge and some of you I met in Juvie” Mush,Finch and Albert ducked their heads, but they were snickering. “I don’t know how to explain this but...we had adults tellin us we weren’t gonna do shit with our lives, and just look at us. We all got jobs,we’re all payin the bills and most of all we’re happy. I guess that’s just somethin to think about”

“Jack Kelly the sap”Mush said, though he was grinning.

“We love you too, Jack”Specs said, giving Mush the side eye. “Some of us are better at expressing that than others”

“We’re all really happy for you”Finch said, “I mean you and Davey were meant to be”

“Like some queer Disney movie”

“Yeah yeah! Exactly like some queer Disney movie!”

“Except more drama”

“Way more drama-”

“-and less magic-”

“-I mean depends on what we consider magic-”

“Alright”Jack groaned, rubbing his temples. “You guys couldn’t focus on one topic if you had a gun to your head”

“It’s really hard,”Albert said, nodding slowly. “I would know”

Jack blinked.“I...you worry me, Al”He said, “Race, collect your best friend before he gives me a heart attack”

“Why don’t you go ask your other brother?”Race scoffed, “The one who you obviously love”

Jack rolled his eyes. “First of all, you know I love you. Second of all, you’re my best man, so do what I say”

“Alright bridezilla”Race muttered, “C’mon, Albie. Let’s go”

“Goodbye!”Albert said, waving to everyone on the way out. Once he was gone Jack buried his head in his hands.

“God I love that kid, but how does he have a bio-engineering degree?”

“I don’t know”

“Beats me”

“I ask myself that everyday”

Jack had made a grave mistake. He started this day off begging for it to move faster but now that the anxiety set in, he just wanted everything to slow down. He spent about a little over an hour just chilling with the boys, before Katherine,Charlie,Medda and Sarah burst into the room saying it was time to get ready. Maybe time did fly when you were having fun because the clock that once read 1:15pm now read 2:45pm. He would be seeing Davey in less than two hours. His eyes widened. He would be seeing Davey in less than two hours. Oh god what if this was a mistake? What if the red suit was too much? He didn’t even know what color Davey was wearing. What if he stood out too much? Would Davey’s family like it? Would Davey like it? He squeezed Katherine’s hand as Medda combed and trimmed his hair. It was comforting to have his mom do this for him, but he was still absolutely shaking.

“Take deep breaths with me”Katherine said. He nodded and he tried but his diaphragm was spasming and he felt like he was going to have an anxiety attack. He’d been waiting two years for this day, what if it wasn’t perfect? What if he let Davey down somehow? Oh god. What if they got to the arbor and Davey realized it was a mistake? What if somebody objected? What if-

“Jack,”Katherine said calmly. “You’re not breathing.”

“I’m sorry”He whimpered. He wanted to cry, just a little bit to get it out of his system. But he had foundation on and he’d be damned if he had to sit there and get it applied again.

“Everything is going to plan”She said, rubbing his hand. “The cake is here,the flowers look great,seating charts are at the venue,everyone in both parties are accounted for and catering is on schedule.”

“How is Davey?”he asked, his voice was wobbly. Oh no, he was going to cry.

“Davey is doing just fine”She said, he let out a sigh of relief. “Sarah runs a tight ship”

“Wouldn’t you know, Mrs.Jacobs-Plumber?”He teased.

“Ah, shut up”She said with a smile. “It’s your turn to become a Jacobs now”

“Isn’t that crazy?”He said, “We both dated, and now we both married into the same family”

“I try not to think about it”She said, “And you shouldn’t either, keep your eyes on your Husband”

His husband. Today he got to officially call Davey his husband. God he missed Davey.

“Katherine”he said, sweetly. A little too sweetly.

“Yes?”She asked, with narrowed eyes.

“Can I please call Davey-”

“Nope”She said, shaking her head.

“Why!”He whined.

“Because it’s bad luck!”She exclaimed, Medda and Charlie hummed in agreement. Jack scoffed, what would Charlie know? He was only twenty-one, and single.

“It’s bad luck if I see him,”He stressed. “I just wanna talk to him”

“No”

“Please”

“No”

“Please”

“No”

“Ple-”

“No!”She snapped. “There is no talking to Davey until your ass is under that arch.”

“Mommy!”He whined, tilting his head to look up at Medda. She simply shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you, baby”Medda said, “You put Katherine in charge, not me”

“Grave mistake, Kelly”Charlie smirked, from the couch he was lounging on.

“You’re a little shit”He said. Medda thumped the back of his head and he winced.

“Don’t talk about my Charlie like that,”Medda warned.

“I’m mama’s favorite”Charlie taunted. She gave him a look and he immediately sunk back into the couch.

“I don’t have a favorite”She said, “I adopted you all for a reason. Jack, you’re done baby. Charlie, you’re up next”

Charlie shifted off the couch and limped over, not before receiving a smack to the back of his head from Jack. he went to strike back but Jack jumped out of the way.

“It’s my wedding day”He said, “you bruise me, it’s game over”

Charlie grumbled to himself and sat down in the styling chair. Jack discreetly tucked his phone into his pocket and announced he was going to the bathroom. Once he was safely inside he locked the door and sat in front of it for good measure before tapping Davey’s contact. With the phone pressed against his ear he waited. It rang for what felt like eternity before it went through.

“Hey, sweetheart”

Jack’s eyes fluttered closed and he let out a happy sigh. “Davey”

There was a laugh from the other end. “That bad, huh?”

“They’ve been treatin me like an animal”He whined. “I’ve been locked in this room since yesterday and i’m not allowed out until the ceremony”

“Aww my poor Jackie”Davey cooed, “I heard you tried to run, rookie mistake”

“Sarah is faster than she looks”He grumbled, “So is Charlie”

“Like that leg would stop him”Davey laughed, “He’s been dead weight since the day I met him”

“God, I remember he used to love when you came over”He grinned, leaning his head against the door. “Always wanted to know when Davey was coming to play”

“That seems just like yesterday”Davey said, “I remember those matching overalls Medda used to make you guys wear-”

“Don’t remind me”He groaned, “We’ll call that a lapse in judgement and a product of the early 2000’s.”

“Call it whatever you want, it was adorable.”Davey teased.

“Yeah yeah we was perfect cherubs”He said, “But listen, I don’t have much time. They think i’m just using the bathroom. I was feelin a little anxious and I just wanted to hear your voice, ya know? You ground me”

“And you ground me”Davey said, Jack could just tell he was grinning. “I gotta get back soon anyways, I'm in the garden. But I love you, Jackie and I can’t wait to marry you”

His breath hitched. “S-say it again, Davey”

“I love you”Davey said in a sing-song way, “I love you I love you I love you”

“I love you too, Davey mine”he whispered, a tear slid down his face. “And I-I can’t wait to be your husband”

“Don’t cry, Jackie”Davey said, “You’ll make me cry and then we’ll both be inconsolable messes”

He laughed just a little watery and nodded, “Yeah, we should cut this short before I burst into flames. I love you”

“I love you, see you soon”

With that the line went dead and Jack took a deep breath. How Davey managed to make him a blubbering mess anytime they talked was still unknown to this day. Being in Davey’s presence just made you want to bare your soul for him because he would see right through you anyways. His eyes were intense and his voice was more calming than any lullaby Jack had ever heard and the words he spoke felt like worship. Jack sighed and dapped at his face with a tissue. He was already a wreck and he hadn’t even stepped foot down the aisle.

In the far wing of the castle things were running smoothly, Davey and Sarah made certain of it. Call it twin telepathy or just amazing organization skills, but not a thing was out of place. They were running right on schedule. Sarah desperately wanted Davey to sit down and at least take a bit of a break but he was always a control freak, and it seemed that was never going to change. He wanted to know everything that was happening. Who was doing what,who was being seated at each table,what the playlist looked like,what alcohol would be served, it was the only thing keeping him from having a nervous breakdown.

And Sarah caved, promising to give him hourly updates on how things were going. Those things included Jack. He was more than annoyed that they left Jack all alone for so long, it didn’t sit well with him. He would have marched right over there himself if Sarah hadn’t been watching him like a hawk. She’d cave for everything else, but no seeing Jack before the wedding. Davey did the same thing for her wedding, so it felt like it was coming more from a place of revenge than a place of love.

Besides the minor slip, he was excited. He’d been waiting to say ‘I do’ from the minute Jack said yes. He loved Jack, he loved him more than he could ever imagine. That was his best friend,his soulmate, and he had been there for everything. He was there when Davey learned how to ride a bike, he was there for Davey’s piano recitals,his soccer matches,his debate meets, everything. He was the first one Davey had come out, not even Sarah had known at that point. He was there and he held Davey while he cried and they brainstormed a way to tell his family. He couldn’t remember a time in his life before that beautiful whirlwind known as Jack Kelly, he didn’t want to know a time after it.

He was good with his words so sometimes they come cheap but when he looked into Jack’s eyes and promised forever, he meant it. And he’ll mean it today and tomorrow and everyday to come, because he loved Jack. He could tell him all day long--he wanted to tell him all day long. He wanted to run right out of this room and tackle him to the floor in a flurry of kisses. He wanted to be at home,on their couch with Luna on his lap listening to Jack read to him. But he promised Jack fairytale and Jack was going to get fairytale if it killed him.

“You’re thinking hard, Davey”Sarah said softly, “What’s going on up there?”

“I…”He started, then chuckled despite himself. “I’m just thinking about how much I love him. When I think about him, it all sounds so good in my head and on paper, but then I look at him and I melt”

“That’s love if I've ever seen it”She said, fiddling with her hair in the mirror. “The kind that Mom and Dad have”

“That’s sweet, Saz”He smiled, “I don't know he...he just makes me speechless”

“Save it for your vows”She said playfully, “I’m not the one you have to pour your heart out to, he is”

“I get it, I talk a lot”He said rolling his eyes, “Sue me”

“Hey”She said, pointing a finger at him in the mirror. “Don’t push it, my wife’s a lawyer”

“I know I know”he said, “You only take every possible opportunity to remind me of it”

“It’s what I'm best at,”She said with a wink, “You need to start getting ready, like now. It’s already 3:30pm and guests are arriving at 4pm”

“Oh shit”He cursed, jumping up from his seat. “Out out out!”

“Alright!”She exclaimed, grabbing her brush off the vanity. “Come get me when you’re dressed, you’re not going out with your hair looking like that-”

“Yes, I know”He stressed, pushing her out the door. “But I gotta get dressed, immediately. Love you, bye!”

Davey shut the door behind him and ran a hand over his face. It would be fine, he had thirty minutes and getting dressed would take him no longer than ten. He reached for his suit folded over the vanity chair and sighed. He could do this, he’d be seeing Jack in an hour, then they’d get to go home and sleep in peace. He couldn’t wait to lock himself in the suite, and consummate the marriage til the cows came home.

He smirked a bit, if it meant that then he could definitely do this.

Jack leaned in to look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He wanted to get dressed in private, and Katherine granted him that luxury. He felt, he felt handsome. No, not just handsome. He felt beautiful, he’s not sure what he was worried about. The suit looked just as good as the day he tried it on and the gold shimmered in the bathroom lights, he paused, this was a really nice bathroom. He turned around inspecting the trousers and smirked, his ass looked fantastic if he did say so himself. He wiggled his hips a bit and shot himself a cheesy grin, he was starting to feel more like himself. He felt confident. He grabbed the crown that was sitting on the counter and gently placed it on his head. It had felt silly the first few times he tried it on, but now, it just felt right. He gently tucked his gold locket inside of his shirt, that was only for him to see and he wanted it as close to his heart as possible. He took one last look at himself before exiting the bathroom.

“The future prince has arrived”He announced as he stepped out onto the marble floor. All eyes were on him.. He walked out a bit further waiting for a reaction, but none came. His heart stuttered a bit, he knew it. He knew that they would hate it.

“Do...do you guys like it?”He asked quietly. In place of an answer Medda came forward and wrapped her arms around him. He was pulled flush against her chest and she just hugged him tight.

“You look stunning, Jack”She whispered, “Absolutely stunning”

“Thank you, mama”He said, with a shaky exhale. He felt a bit better, Medda didn’t lie. His knees weakened a bit and she held him tighter. The comments soon flooded after Medda’s approval.

“You look amazing, Jack!”Katherine squealed, “you look expensive!”

“I feel expensive,”He chuckled. He walked over to Charlie who had a dopey grin on his face,

“You clean up well, kid”He said, tousling the dirty blonde hair. Charlie groaned and pulled Jack down for a hug.

“You look good, Jack”Charlie grinned, patting his back.

“So do you”He said, “Try and let me have the spotlight for once”

“In your dreams, Kelly”Charlie said, thumping his temple. He laughed and pulled Katherine into a quick hug, kissing her cheek.

“If you told me this was the same Jack Kelly who took me on a date to Wendy’s in eighth grade I wouldn’t believe you!”She teased, squeezing him extra tight. “Just look at you! God, Medda did amazing work because this fits you perfectly”

“Thank you, Kathy,”He said, swaying them side to side. The last one for a hug was Race. He looked at Jack expectantly with open arms and tears brimming at the corner of his eyes. Once Jack was within arms length he pulled him in and the tears began to fall.

“Fuck”Race choked out, “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry but, this...this is real Jack. This is happening, you’re getting married”

“Aww, Racer”He soothed, rubbing his back. “I’m getting married but I ain’t goin nowhere, promise”

“Y-you promise you’re always going to be my big brother?”Race croaked.

“I promise”He said, “We’ve been brothers since the beginning, I ain’t goin nowhere”

“Good”Race sniffled, attempting to compose himself. “Oh fucking hell-”

“Language,”Medda said, pointing a finger. “You may be grown but i’m still your mother”

He had the nerve to look a bit bashful. “Sorry, ma. It’s just...it’s hard to think of you as someone other than my big brother, ya know? It’s weird that you have a life”

“Thanks”He said flatly.

“That’s not what I meant!”Race whined. “Just...you look spectacular,Davey’s gonna love it and i’m so happy for you”

“It means a lot, Racer”He said, “Honest.”

“Just you wait”Race said, wiping his eyes. “I got a whole best man speech prepared for the reception, it’s gonna be great”

“I have no doubts”He said, “But, we all gotta get a move on it. Guests are starting to arrive and Charlie and Ma are the only one’s dressed.”

Katherine sighed and grabbed her purse off his bed. “You better not try to escape, Kelly. We will find you”

“Yeah yeah, get out!”He said, ushering her and Racetrack out the door. The sooner they got dressed,the sooner they could get this party started. He turned to face Medda and let out a giddy laugh.

“We were so focused on me, but look at you!”He said, “You look beautiful Ma”

“Aw you don’t gotta butter me up Jack”She waved off, “I already adopted you.”

“I mean it!”He exclaimed with wide eyes, “Charlie, doesn’t Ma look beautiful?”

“Absolutely gorgeous!”Charlie said from the couch he was lounging on.

“See?”He said, cocking his hip. “Two against one”

She smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, baby. I need to be on my way now too, your aunts are here”

“Auntie Esther and Estelle?”Charlie said. Medda nodded.

“I’m coming with you! They always have candy”

“Well come on!”She said, “you know they don’t like being kept waiting”

He pushed himself off the couch and Medda grabbed his crutch off the table handing it to him. He wasn’t too pleased about it, but he would be on his feet for the majority of the day.

“I just want them to hack this fucker off”Charlie grumbled, shoving the crutch under his armpit. Jack frowned a bit, and put an arm on Charlie’s shoulder. Medda took that as a sign to leave with a promise that she would be waiting outside the door.

“It’s only for the ceremony, we just want you to be comfortable”He said softly. “And one of these days it’ll happen, I know it will”

Charlie shot him a crooked smile and shook his head. “Optimism isn’t your venue, Jack. I’ll rant to Elmer later”

“Hey, it’s my job as big brother to at least try and sugarcoat the bullshit”He chuckled, “But seriously Charlie, tell me if you’re uncomfortable. You can sit-”

“No”Charlie said, “No, I wanna stand. It’s the least I can do for you, ya know. Since the minute I step out there everyone’s eyes will all be on me, gotta make it up somehow”

“Yeah, you’re a real peach”He said, rolling his eyes.

“A georgia one!”Charlie called over his shoulder as he left the room. Jack took this time to try and get the butterflies in his stomach under control. He was excited, so excited he might puke. He paused. Or did that mean he was nervous? He had no idea, he just knew that the minute Katherine entered this room, it would be time. That time came sooner than he thought because less than fifteen minutes later Katherine came bursting into the room wearing a champagne colored bridesmaid gown.

“It’s time, Jack!”She squealed. He nodded. It was time. His eyes widened.

Holy shit.

It was time.

“Are you ready to see your groom?”She asked, offering him her arm. With a shaky breath he nodded and looped his in hers.

“I’m ready”

The venue was perfect, picture perfect even. It was unseasonably warm for October. The sun was shining through the autumn leaves and the air was still and dry. Not a drop of rain in sight from the clear blue skies above. Jack could hardly believe their luck, it had been storming the week prior and he had been so nervous. He also felt a bit ridiculous, him and Medda were hidden behind a bush because she wanted his big reveal to be a surprise to everyone. He didn’t care about that, he wanted to see what was going on! And most of all he wanted to see Davey, their little phone call was only holding him over for so long. He grumbled quietly with only a stern look as warning to be patient. He was shocked out of his stupor when the music started.

It was almost time.

He peeked over the side as their many groomsman paired off together, sure he remembered from the many dress rehearsals--a theatre mom wants perfection--but seeing his friends dressed so smart made him want to laugh and cry all at once. They had all come here for him today, in the middle of October, just to see him getting married. He pouted a bit and placed a hand over his heart, it was touching. His smile only widened as he saw JoJo and Buttons walking hand in hand instead of arm and arm. Maybe Jack could do a little matchmaking of his own and get them to spill the truth. It took awhile for everyone to get down there, with over ten groomsmen of his own and not even counting some of Davey’s friends, it was a process. His heart stopped when he saw Katherine walking down the aisle with...was that Luna? He turned to Medda with wide eyes about to scream but she just laughed to herself and hushed him.

“Surprise”She whispered. He grinned, of course Davey couldn’t leave their baby out of this.

The wedding march soon drifted into the lantern song instrumental and Jack knew it was time. Without a word he gripped Medda’s arm and stepped out into the open. The applause were deafening but all he could focus on was Davey. There he was dressed in a purely white suit,silver crown on his head and his own silver locket hanging proudly on display. He looked regal, he looked like a prince. But his head was down, without thinking Jack whistled at him and snapped his finger, because hello, he was here now. Davey’s head snapped up and the minute his eyes caught Jacks, the dam exploded. His knees grew weak and he squatted down with tears blurring his eyes.

“O-oh my god”he stuttered, covering his mouth. Jack looked angelic, covered in red and gold from head to toe. This was the man he was about to marry, this was him. Sarah placed a hand under his arm and hoisted him up, letting him lean on her for comfort. How was expected to stand tall when Jack Kelly could bring anyone to their knees? He was blubbering like an absolute idiot but he didn’t care because now Jack was right in front of him. He quickly wiped his eyes and mumbled a quick apology because that was definitely not supposed to happen.

“I-you look-hi”He said.

“You look pretty hi yourself”Jack smirked. He blushed and shot their officiator--Jack’s friend Blink--a withering look. He seemed to snicker before lifting his hands to silence the guests chatter.

“Friends and Family”He started, then stopped when Jack outright laughed.

“Problem?”He said, raising a brow.

“ ‘m sorry, i’ve just never heard you sound so serious”Jack said, “i’m okay now though, please continue”

Blink rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded akin to cursing, He cleared his throat and started again. “Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the once in a lifetime bond known as Jack and David. And if you couldn’t tell, this will be anything but serious so if that’s what you were expecting, I’m sorry”

A few of the guests laughed and Davey felt much better. Sure he liked serious but he didn’t like stuffy.

“Now, Jack told me that he wanted me to talk as little as possible so I will try to do that”He continued, “But this man right here is like a brother to me, so I make no promises. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but only if both parties are willing. So Davey, please let me know that Jack didn’t bring you here against your will”

Davey let out a startled laugh and shook his head, “I’m the one who proposed, so no”

“I just needed to make sure, we all know he can be a bit pushy”he smirked, “But in all seriousness, marriage is beautiful, a everlasting blond between two people pledging themselves to each other for life.”He paused, “I can admit it is a little culty sounding but beautiful. And as beautiful as it is, it is a commitment. That means sticking by each other's side through the highs and lows and everything that comes in between. Understood?”

“Crystal clear”Davey said.

“Absolutely”Jack said, giving Davey the once over, eyes twinkling.

“This is usually the point where I would ask if anyone has any objections but I think I'll get speared like a shish kebob if I do, so we’ll be skipping that part.”He said, Jack hummed in agreement and reached down to grab Davey’s hand. He was practically vibrating in his skin with mirth, it was a moment Davey wanted to keep forever. “Now I heard from a little birdy, that Davey had a pretty lengthy speech written, so I think it’s best we get straight into the vows”

Right, his vows, that was something that he had to say at some point. He didn’t necessarily have stage fright, but something about all of his loved ones staring,waiting for him to pour out his heart made him feel jittery. He grabbed Jack’s other hand and squeezed it, he didn’t have to look at them. He could just look at Jack and pretend it was only them. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to relax. He could do this.

“I just wanna start this off by saying, I love you. I can never say this enough and I will never get tired of saying it, so. I love you.”He said, running his thumb over Jack’s hand. “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly. I never saw it coming, but now I can’t imagine my life without you. You always talk about how much i’ve been there for you, but now it’s time for me to talk about how much you’ve been there for me. You may not know this but, you were my rock. You were the one that kept me together, when classes and clubs became too much and I had to work and then go home and take care of Les. I constantly felt like I was falling apart, but just knowing I got to spend time with you made me smile.I was in a dark place for a while, I felt like I was failing everyone around me, like I wasn’t smart enough, like I wasn't good enough. And I hid it, because I was embarrassed that my own brain was even failing me.”

His eyes met his parents in the crowd and he faltered. He’d never told them that and now he couldn’t wait to have their distressed faces playing on a loop in his head for the rest of eternity.

“I um, I remember even before we were dating I was just so drained that I didn’t come into school, I just laid in bed staring at nothing. You didn’t call or shoot me a text, you showed up outside of my house and scaled the side of it when I didn’t answer the door. You tumbled in through the window,climbed into bed with me and just started listing every reason why you were proud of me, and I sobbed, ugly sobbed. That was the first time I wanted to say I love you”

He shuddered and tried to compose himself, he could do this. He promised himself he wouldn’t completely break down today.

“And I’ve never wanted to stop saying it since, it ran rampant through my mind until that day at the park where I just blurted it out. Lucky for us, Sarah got that moment on camera”

He gave a subtle nod to blink who pointed a remote at the projector in front of them. On a white screen behind them there they were younger but still so in love, August 14th of 2019. He pressed another button and the video started to play. Jack gasped and leaned in closer as the memory came to life.

“I love you”Jack whispered, bringing a hand up to cup Davey’s cheek. “I love you, Davey. I...this is hard for me, really fucking hard. Kids like me don’t get fairytale”

“No, they don’t”Davey chuckled, blinking away a tear. “But they deserve it, and you deserve it”

“You really are my prince”Jack grinned, “My prince Davey”

Davey brought his own hand up and tapped Jack’s ring finger. “And one day i’ll make you a Prince too. I’m in this for as long as you want me”

“What if I want you forever?”

“Then i’ll stay forever”

“Can you please, kiss already!’Katherine exclaimed, breaking through the veil of privacy. “I mean honestly, we’re all waiting for it!”

The video ended abruptly with an unflattering shot of Race and Spot crying in the canopy and Jack was in hysterics. The guests were practically shaking the ground from how loud they were stomping and clapping. But no one was laughing louder than Race himself.

“That’s what I used to look like!”Race cried out.

“You still look like that,”Jack snorted. Davey shook his head and continued.

“I know this is long already but I'm surprisingly not done”He said, ignoring the groan from practically everyone. “I’m hoping I made good on my promise”He grins, “Because you deserve all of this Jack, and you deserve the best version of myself I can be. I promise to stay by your side through calm seas or choppy waters, I promise to be as patient as I can when things get hard, and I promise to love you entirely for as long as I live. I know things are going to get rough and we are definitely going to fight, but looking at the amazing support we have from both sides. I’m not worried. In sickness and in health, til death do us part Jackie”

“Oh fuck you”Jack gasped, then quickly covered his mouth. “That was...I’m expected to compete with that?”

“Yes, now speak”Blink smirked. Jack resisted the urge to give him the finger and instead faced the guests.

“Don’t expect that same thing from me”He said looking towards the guests, “He minored in English.”He got a few laughs out of them and continued. “I guess this is less of a vow and more of a thank you. Thank you Davey, for seeing the best in me, when nobody else would. Now everyone who knows me knows I love my theatrics, blame my mother, she works for a theatre!”he said in a sing-song voice. “So, I have a little story. I was your typical class clown in school, I was always in the office,always gettin in trouble and always fighting. Those staff members didn’t care, they just wrote me off as some delinquent, and gave up on me. No one took the time of day to see what was actually going on, but Davey tried. And I wouldn’t let him in, I was so scared he would look at me differently, so I just kept it all in here”He said pointing to his chest.

“The final straw was when I went to juvie--oh don’t act surprised! Some of you were there with me!”he scolded. Albert and Mush put their heads down once again. “I was gone for two months, and he had no idea where I was, no one would tell him. The day I got out we got into the biggest fight in our lives. I’m talkin movie type fight, we was both screamin and throwing things. And I was just running my mouth, saying that he would never understand and I remember him just shouting--imagine Davey shouting--he shouted ‘I can’t understand if you don’t tell me you idiot!”

“Oh my god”Davey chuckled, running a hand over his face. Jack giggled and laced their hands together.

“That was like a lightbulb moment for me. We sat on the roof of my house and I told him everything there was to know about me, from beginning to end. And that made our bond even stronger.” He said. “I love him because he looked at me when I was at my worst and meanest and decided I was still worthy of being treated like a person. I love him because even when we fight it’s just because he wants what’s best for me, even when I'm being stubborn. Being loved by Davey has made me swallow a lot of humble pie in my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He turned to face Davey, and wiped a stray tear off his cheek.

“Davey mine”He started, “I promise to take Luna on walks in the morning because you like to sleep in. I promise to be there for you however I can be and I promise to love you unconditionally because you do the same for me. Til death do us part, baby”

“Til death do us part”Davey repeated, starry eyed.

“Hey hey hey!”Blink scolded, waving his hands. “You’re doing my job for me, at least let me try to look professional!”

“Go on then”Jack said, waving him off.

“Do you, David Jacobs, take Jack Kelly to be your lawfully wedded husband?”Blink said.

“I do”Davey said.

“Do you, Jack Kelly, take David Jacobs to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Hell yes”Jack said, staring at Davey’s lips. He was ready to go in for the kill.

“Then by the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husbands, you may kis--hey!”

Davey had beat him to it. He surged forward with so much force they both went tumbling to the ground. Race squeaked and jumped out of the way ranting about how unbelievable they were, but Jack couldn’t care. Davey’s lips were warm and his body was warm and his hand was cupping his cheek and-

“Alright you two”Blink said, “you are so lucky there aren’t any children here, stand up and have some sort of decency”

“Nah, give me a minute”Jack mumbled, and went right back to kissing Davey. His husband. Oh he could get used to saying that. He only had a few more seconds before Davey was forcefully pulled off of him and pulled over to stand by Sarah. The best part was he was smirking the whole time, he never thought shameless would look so good on Davey, but it was a color he wore well.

“Since these two have no self control”Blink sighed, “I’m going to wrap this up. I now present to you Mr.Jack Kelly-Jacobs and Mr.David Jacobs-Kelly! Now get outta here you two!”

Without a second glance, Jack had surged forward, grabbed Davey and took off running. The hazel eyed man laughed and stumbled behind him but did his best to keep up. They’d be getting an earful from Katherin and Sarah for pulling a stunt like this, but Davey was still learning and spontaneity was his favorite lesson. They kept going until they were well into the gardens and stopped when the roar of the guests could no longer be heard. Jack panted and kneeled bringing Davey down with him.

“Hey Davey”

“Hey Jackie”Davey giggled.

“We’re fuckin married”

“I know!”Davey exclaimed, he quickly lost his balance and fell on his butt. Before he could get up he had a lap full of Jack Kelly-Jacobs.

“Hey Davey”He pressed his forehead to Davey’s and grinned.

“Yeah?”Davey whispered.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything, baby”

“We forgot the rings”

The ballroom used for the reception was beautiful. A shiny chandelier hanging from the ceiling,a sea of guest tables and a dance floor perfect for Jack to get drunk and absolutely obliterate. He couldn’t wait. But, it was his wedding and he needed to stay sober for the speeches at least. He was honestly starting to get a little tired, it had been a long day. Leaning his head on Davey’s shoulders he hoped to maybe catch ten minutes while the guests mingled. Davey pouted and brought a hand up to scratch at Jack’s scalp, just the way he liked. He was stupidly in love with this man.

“He’s asleep?”Katherine whispered as she passed by. Davey shook his head and awed internally as Jack groaned and buried his face in his shoulder.

“He just wanted to rest his eyes a bit, I'll keep him awake”He promised. She bit her lip and pointed to the guests who were now finding their seats.

“That would have have to be now”She winced, “We’re about to have the toast and then the speeches”

“I’ll get him up”He said, frowning a bit at Jack’s parted lips. He’d only been out for a few minutes, he must be exhausted.

“You’re a gem, Davey. I need to make sure nobody is doing anything stupid!”with that she clicked away in her heels,disappearing in the crowd. This was quite the turnout for sure, the room was packed wall to wall. With Davey’s extended family,Jack’s as well along with all of his friends and Spot's gigantic family, they could fill up a stadium. All these people here to see them and Jack was two seconds from slipping into a coma.

“Jack”He whispered, rubbing his cheek. “Jackie, wake up”

“Mmm?”Jack grumbled.

“It’s time for the speeches, ya know? People telling us just how awesome we are”He teased, running that same hand down his neck. Jack squirmed and begrudgingly lifted his head.

“There you are”He said, “And my my my aren’t you beautiful?”

“Go to hell”Jack said, stretching his arms above his hand.

“I’m already there”He sighed looking around again. Jack’s brows furrowed and he leaned in closer.

“Are you having fun here?”

Davey blinked, that’s not a question he was expecting. But it was sweet. He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Jack’s lips.

“This is the moment of a lifetime, it’s just a lot to process”He explained. Jack nodded and mumbled a ‘same here’ before leaning back in his chair. Katherine stood at the front of a hall on a stage, with a glass in one hand and a knife in the other. She tapped the side repeatedly until everyone had muted their small talk and looked forward.

“Hello everyone!”she exclaimed, “I hope everyone is having a good time so far! Dinner will be served shortly but first we have some speeches prepared from the families of the grooms. Be prepared to laugh,cry and you’ll want to have your camera out because someone will definitely do something embarrassing! Firstly we have Racetrack Higgins, brother to Jack and his best man!”

The guests cheered and Race stood up from his seat and walked towards the stage, Spot in tow. He shot Jack a smile and grabbed the microphone that was left for him.

“I want to start this off by thanking everyone who showed up. This packed ass room is just a testimony to how loved these two really are.”He said, Jack grinned and leaned in closer. This had to be good.

“ Now i’ll spare you most of the sob story. The way I met Jack Kelly was a little place called the refuge. I got there when I was two, and I don’t remember this but i’m told that I would scream for hours at night unless I was sharing a bed with him. I don’t know, call it fate but he was the person I decided to cling to.”he said and chuckled, rubbing his eyes.

“I was so angry all the time that no one else wanted to be bothered with me but he...he dealt with me I guess. Soon enough I would never leave his side, I don’t have a memory there without him with me. Then Charlie came along”He shot a playful glare at Charlie, “and I was no longer the cute and small one, but it was fine because Jack always looked out for both of us. I’ll always say that Jack was my first parent and Medda was my second. It shouldn’t have been that way but..I-I...I’m sorry”he croaked.He turned his back to the guests and buried his face in the crook of Spots neck.

Jack’s heart dropped.

“Holy shit”Jack said with a shaky sigh, sure he knew he did a lot but he didn’t think it meant this much to him. Davey squeezed his hand and gave a tight smile, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Holy shit is right”

Race took a few minutes to collect himself and turned back around, tears still streaming down his face.

“I-I can’t think right now and it’s really annoying cause I practiced this for weeks but I just wanted to say that Jack is my brother and my best friend and i’m just so happy that he has Davey, because Davey you make him so fucking happy. Kids like us aren’t expected to go anywhere in life, but he has Medda, he has us and now he has you. I wish you guys the best and please make me an uncle soon okay bye thank you” with that he quickly left the stage and leapt into Jack’s arms sending them both flying backwards.

“Ow, Racer. What the he-”

“I’m so proud of you, Jack”He said quickly, “I-I know I haven’t been the best brother or the nicest to you but I need you to know that I love you”

“Okay okay!”Jack said, clutching his hip. “I love you too, punk. We can talk more about this later, but get off of me!”

“C’mon, Tony,”Spot sighed, picking up the mess of limbs. Once Race was on his feet, he bent over and helped Jack up. “Congratulations Jack, you’ve been a pain in my ass as long as i’ve known this kid, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Davey, you keep him out of prison”

“On my honor,”Davey said.

“Yeah, you too Conlon”Jack said, “Who knows, you might be next”

“Oh, Spotty! We should get married!”he gasped. Spot groaned and shook his head.

“You play dirty Kelly,”Spot said.

“It’s the only way to play”Jack smirked, “Go take him for some fresh air, I don’t want him to get antsy”

“Aye aye”Spot said, practically dragging Race out of the room by his suspenders.

Katherine emerged back to the stage and clapped raising her glass. “That is Jack Kelly down for the sixth time today and yes we’ve been keeping score! Next to the stage we have my lovely,intelligent,incredibly charasm-”

“This ain’t about you!”Jack exclaimed. Katherin gave him the finger and continued. “You know her,you love her, my wife Sarah Jacobs, brother to the groom Davey and his best woman! Come on up here, pumpkin!”

Sarah made her way to the stage, and placed a kiss to Katherine’s cheek. “Hello!”Sarah called out to the audience.

“Unlike the rest of these saps I'm going to try not to cry”She said, “For those who don’t know, Davey here is my twin, and honestly my built in best friend. We’ve been joined at the hip since we could walk,and I know him like the back of my hand. I couldn’t imagine a better fit for him than Jack. Davey was a shy kid, really serious too. Not many kids got along with him because he didn’t like running around or hand games or kickball, he liked sitting off to the side and reading. So he wasn’t really given a chance to show how amazing he was the first few years of school. That was until a little boy who called himself cowboy Jack basically bulldozed his walls and threw himself into Davey’s life.”

Jack laughed and threw his arm around Davey’s shoulder, “That’s true!”

Sarah laughed as well, and continued. “And let me tell you, Davey was pissed at first. He couldn’t understand why this boy wouldn’t leave him the hell alone because oh my god was Jack persistent! It was ridiculous! But little did he know that annoying little boy would become his best friend and later his husband.”

Davey smiled and pressed a hand over his heart.

“My brother is a little hard to read at times, he doesn’t like giving all his tells to just anybody. But what a lot of you don’t know is that he’s caring and kind and cried for hours when he ran over a rabbit--yes that is true. He wears his feelings right on his face, you just need to know how to read him. And Jack could read him just as well as I could which terrified him. He wasn’t used to anybody but me,our parents and eventually Les. He was terrified of getting hurt, he didn’t want to know what heartbreak felt like so he never even tried.”She said.

“But Jack brought out a different side of him, a side no one had ever seen. He became spontaneous, and more outgoing and actually alive! It freaked us all out at first because we didn’t know why he was changing, but little did we know this was just the beginning of a new Davey. It’s just weird to have known that shy little bookworm and see him become such a social butterfly. I can see people snoring so I’ll get off now, congrats you guys. I love you Davey”

The guests cheered and Sarah made her way off the stage. Jack was looking at him like he had three heads.

“What?”

“You Jacobs ain’t got any emotions or somethin?”He exclaimed, wiping his eyes. “None of your family is cryin, that was beautiful!”

“We cry on the inside, baby”Davey soothed, pulling Jack’s chair closer to his.

“That’s...that’s not good-”

“Alright, everyone!”Katherine said, “This is the last speech we have on schedule for today, so don’t panic. Next up to the stage we have Charlie Morris, baby brother to the groom Jack and one of his groomsmen!”

With a bit of help from Medda, Charlie made his way to the stage. He shot a thankful look at Katherine who brought up a chair, it had indeed been a long day. He grabbed the microphone and plopped down in the seat.

“Thank god”He sighed, a grin when the guests laughed. “Now, I’m going to try and keep this short for Jack’s sake, he looks like he’s about dead on his feet” Jack sighed, he knew this boy was a natural comedian, but if this speech was more than five minutes he would smother him in his sleep.

“Skip the commentary!”Jack called out, then winced when Davey flicked his neck.

“Would you let me say my speech? You’re lucky I wrote one”He said, “Now, just like Racer said, I can’t remember a time in my life without Jack being there. We fight a lot because I’ve still got that younger brother charm and he just can’t get over it--alright alright! I’ll be serious.”He chuckled after a wad of tissue was thrown at him.

“Davey was introduced into my life from a young age, once he finally accepted his doom, he began to come over a lot. And I loved playing with Davey, he would teach me how to make paper airplanes,origami and he would read to me, that was luxury treatment in this household, okay. But he would only come over a few times a week, which I understood because he did have a family and all that jazz.”He said, gesturing in the direction of the Jacobs family. Mayer stood up from his seat and waved.

“But as those two got older, he was there every single day. And then I started wondering, why is Davey always here? Until I got up one night to get coco puffs and saw them kissing on the couch-”He smirked as the hall erupted in ooo’s “-and my pea sized thirteen year old brain went ohhhhh and I screamed ‘ewww they’re kissing!’”

Davey groaned and buried his face in Jack’s shoulder, he wanted to forget that day ever happened.

“Which of course woke up the whole house, Jack did get in trouble and yes, I'm still paying him back for that to this day. This speech is not for Jack, no. I want to say thank you to Davey for taking the time to be so nice to me, unlike this man-”

“Get off the stage, Charlie!”Jack booed, putting his thumb down. Charlie blew a raspberry.

“In all seriousness, I'm really happy for you two. I’m not good with affection and stuff but Jack, you know I love you. And of course I'll thank you until the day I die for taking care of me. You’re one of the best big brothers I can ask for, i’m happy you’re getting married and please hold off on making me an uncle”

The applause were deafening, maybe it was Charlie’s humor or maybe they were excited for dinner, the world may never know. Jack was clapping the loudest, he was excited for dinner. Medda helped Charlie off the stage and gladly he went back to his seat. Jack let out of a sigh of relief, he was not ready to make that score seven, his back was killing him.

“Those were really sweet,”Davey commented. Jack rolled his eyes.

“Sweet but long, ‘m tired Davey”He whined.

“I know, sweetheart,”Davey said. “I know, but it’ll all be over soon”

“Promise me we don’t gotta get up tomorrow”He said.

“We can lay around all day,”Davey promised. “We can eat breakfast in bed and cuddle with Luna and sleep the day away”

“Oh my god, Luna”He perked up, “Where is my baby girl?”

“Our baby girl”Davey corrected, “She’s with Les upstairs”

“It got too loud for them, huh”

“Yeah, he texted me like an hour ago that he needed a break”Davey said.

“I sure as hell would like a break too”He grumbled.

“I know”Davey sighed, “are you still having fun?”

“I am”He said, “I am and I know how much work you put into today, I...i’m just reachin a limit, ya know?”

“I know”Davey nodded, “If it gets unbearable, let me know. I’ll tell Katherine to entertain everyone and we can take a break.”

Jack leaned in and pressed his forehead against Davey’s. “You’re so sweet with me”

“I’ll do anything for you,”Davey promised.

“Alright, let’s break up the romance!”Katherine said, taking a seat at their table.

“Where do you keep comin from?”Jack groaned.

“Hell”She said easily, “Dinner is on it’s way out and I haven’t seen you eat anything but a bagel today”

“He did what?”Davey said.

“It’s not important”She said quickly, “Look, I know he’s exhausted. Just get him through dinner and i’ll cover until it’s time for the dances which aren’t until-”She pulled out her phone and scrolled, “-10pm, it’s 8 now, just make sure he eats and then get him out of here”

“You’re a saint”

“I take my maid of honor duty very serious”She said with a wink, “My phone is on all night so just shoot me a text if anything happens”

“Noted”Davey said, “Now how about you take a little break, you’ve been on your feet all day”

“I would, but I gotta keep things running smoothly”She said.

“Everyone is fine”Davey said, “Have dinner with us, bring Sarah too. It’ll be just like high school”

“Yeah with fancy gowns and fancy food”

“It’ll be like high school cause it’s us”Davey said, rolling his eyes. “now go get her”

“You promise we won’t be intruding?”she asked, “You’ve barely been alone all day”

“I got the rest of my life to be alone with him”Jack said, “today’s about friends and family”

“You have our word, Kath”Davey said, “now go”

After a well earned nap, Jack soon became the life of the party. He slid his way to the dance floor,drink in hand and ready to get this party started. Davey for one couldn’t believe he had married a toddler. Naps did nothing for him, he always woke up feeling disoriented and gross. But almost any of Jack’s problems could be solved by a nap, it was scary sometimes. But he was relieved that Jack felt better, they were going to be here for a while. Guests were supposed to be leaving around 11:30pm, and they had to be out of the castle by 1:00am because another wedding was happening that day and the staff needed to clean up. Then they had the drive from here to home which was four hours so they wouldn’t be home until 5am. Davey sighed, he didn’t drink for personal reasons but he’d never been so tempted to take a shot in his life.

“What’s wrong?”Katherine asked, and dear god she did seem to just pop up everywhere.

“Hmm?”he hummed.

“You’ve got that vacant look in your eyes, it’s the same one Sarah gets when she’s stressed”She said.

“Oh boy am I stressed”He sighed, “Just thinking about how long it’s gonna be until we get home”

“Well”She grinned, “This was supposed to be a surprise but you look like you could use some cheering up”

“Please”He said, clinging to her shoulder.

“We hired a clean up crew!”she said, doing jazz hands.

“Oh my god I love you”He all but melted against her.

“Yup!”she smirked, “Which means all we have to do is pack our bags and high tail it home, shouldn’t take any longer than twenty minutes”

“Thank you so much, Kath”He said, “home is still...it’s just so far”

“I’ll drive you guys home”She said, “Sarah and I already talked about this. It’s been such a long day and I know you’re both exhausted, plus Jack is drinking like a monster”

“That’s...I don’t know what to say,”he said.

“You don’t have to say anything, Davey”She said, “We’re family, you two were such a big help at our wedding that it’s the least we could do”

“I like helping,”He said earnestly. “I’d do it again”

“Noted,”She said, eyes scanning over his shoulder. “If you wanna help, go get your husband. You know how he gets when he’s drunk and-”She paused, listening to the music “-Shakira is playing”

“Oh god”Davey groaned, “I-you know where to find me!”

The remainder of the reception went off without a hitch. The first dances were as sweet as expected, Jack did shed a few tears as he danced with Medda but mostly kept it together. The bouquet toss went well, Race caught the first one and Spot football tackled Skittery to catch the second. The cake was cut, and the guests were out at 11:30pm on the dot. Jack and Davey had practically sprinted up the stairs and packed up their belongings in record time. The day had been magical,they couldn’t wait to look back on the pictures, but it was time to go home. A little after midnight Davey found himself saying goodbye to Sarah and squeezing into the backseat of their car with Luna fast asleep. If you asked him what had happened in the last hour he honestly couldn’t tell you, he stopped processing it around 10pm. Jack wasn’t any better but for different reasons. A drunk Jack was a handsy Jack and maybe Davey should have taken the front seat.

“Let me love you!”Jack whined as he once again grabbed at Davey’s leg.

“You’re drunk”

“You’re hot”

“Thank you, baby”

“Keep it pg back there,”Katherine said, eyeing them in the rear view mirror.

“Tell that to him!”He said, placing Luna on Jack’s lap. “Here, take the puppy”

Jack squealed with delight and focused his attention on that. Katherine stifled a laugh and focused her eyes on the road. Davey sighed.

It was going to be a long four hours.

“Thank you, Kath”Davey yawned, stepping out of the car. “I really appreciate it”

“It’s no problem”She replied, stepping out to stretch. “Do you mind if I crash here?”

“Not at all”He said, “there’s a key under the mat, let yourself in. I need to get Jack and Lu”

“Got it,”She said.

Davey walked around to the opposite side of the car and opened the door.

“Be free”he said. Luna leapt out of Jack’s lap and happily trotted up the stairs. Jack was dead asleep, alcohol and exhaustion seemed to work better than any melatonin he’s ever taken. He leaned into the car and picked him up bridal style, closing the door with his hip. Katherine, ever the saint, had left the door open for them.

Once he was inside he quickly padded into the bedroom, dumping Jack on the bed. He knew he should probably be a good host and make sure Katherine was comfortable but he couldn’t stand being awake a minute longer. He closed the door and stripped down to his boxers. He was exactly one second away from jumping into bed before he realized that Jack was fully dressed.

Fuck.

He leaned over and shook Jack’s shoulders.

“Mm?”

“You gotta get naked”He said, then blinked. That’s not what he wanted to say but it got his point across.

“Do it for me”Jack mumbled and lifted his hips up.

Davey sighed and bent down to take off his shoes. “You’re so spoiled”

“Your fault”Jack mumbled. “You made me spoiled”

Next came the socks and pants. “Because I like spoiling you”

“Then stop complaining”

Davey snorted and pulled off his blazer. “I’m not complaining, i’m stating a fact”

“Gonna be so hungover”Jack groaned.

Davey started to unbutton his shirt. “Sounds like a you problem”

“You’re such an ass”

“Am not”Davey said, pulling his arms out. “No one told you to drink like the world was ending”

“I tol’ me to”

“Well you have terrible judgement” he pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead, “You’re all done”

“Mmmthank you Davey”

Davey finally climbed into bed and relished in the mattress under his back. “No problem, now go to sleep”

Jack mumbled something in agreement and opened his arms, Davey tilted his head.

“ ‘m big spoon tonight, deal with it”He said and well Davey wasn’t going to argue, he was rarely ever the little spoon. He scooted back into Jack’s arms and god he was so warm. He felt a hand carding through his hair and he let out a low hum. This, this is what he had been waiting for all day. And it had been worth it. A full two years of planning,taking on extra projects,living on a tight budget and sheer hope had gotten him the day of a lifetime. And some funny twist of fate got him the man of a lifetime. He didn’t know who or what he had to thank for giving him Jack Kelly, but he found himself thanking the universe. It hadn’t been easy getting to this point, they had fought and argued and screamed and cried, but it was worth it. After all, every fairytale has to start somewhere, and it started the moment they said I do. And the end--well, that’s a long time away so let’s focus on the now. The present feels like a dream and the end is nowhere in sight, their fairytale was just beginning.

And Davey couldn’t wait to see where it took them.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #354

“swimming through the void, we hear the word / we lose ourselves, but we find it all”

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. My hair is naturally pretty oily, and conditioner just adds oil to it. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. I never liked light-hued jeans. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? My first "real" boyfriend. I always do to varying degrees. How many cars are parked at your house right now? Just one. Do you have any Italian ancestry? No. Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? The colder, the absolute better. I can barely stomach drinking water that isn't cold, like literally. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? I don't think so, anyway. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? A certain hot sauce on the wings I used to get at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was close to the top of their little heat rating thing. It made me feel awful, and yet I enjoyed it still?? I think it was an adrenaline thing. I only get medium sauce now; I'm more interested in enjoying my food than feeling like I'm eating fire. Do you need to talk to someone? I'm ready for my therapy appointment honestly, but it's not 'til the start of June. Mom and I both don't want to go through the process of finding a new one, so I've chosen to just suck it up and wait. Is something confusing you at the moment? I'm always confused with myself and my feelings. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Real deep, I'm sure that would've been during PHP. Who did you last see on webcam? My former group therapist. I miss him a lot and really wish he could treat me outside of the program, but he doesn't do that. :/ What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Doris, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Buster, Beesly, Winter, and I believe only one of the fish is named: Raisha. Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? No. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Dory, probably. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? What the fuck, no. When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Whoa now buddy, we better be kind of serious by then for you to do that because it doesn't end "well" lmao. Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? I almost deleted this question because I didn't want to answer it, but I try to leave more unique ones in, so... whatever. I haven't. But I would for "somebody." What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Ugh, my relationship with bras is a hellish one because NONE FUCKING FIT ME CORRECTLY. Mom's tried so, so many places, so many different stores online and in-person, and even if the bra fits in the front, it won't go around my back comfortably. I guess my body is shaped weird, I don't fucking know, because I have literally ZERO bras that don't aggravate me. At some point, I'm going to some woman Mom knows who can size me properly and therefore buy some that don't piss me off. All that to say I'd actually pay more than the usual, but not a ridiculous price. Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? My old Physical Science teacher, who is actually now a very close family friend and our landlord, is in my phone. Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? No. What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? How ungrateful they can be. Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? I am pro-choice. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a lot of people, actually. Old friends I miss. What is your favorite piece of art you own? It... sounds cocky, but it's probably the drawing I did in high school of Pyramid Head and the Halo of the Sun intertwined. I worked my fucking ass off and I'm extremely proud of it. What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Hm. Probably just something minor, like bumping into Mom or something when passing her. My favorite color is ______? Pink, specifically pastel pink. I wish I had _____? A job. What did you buy today? Nothing. What has challenged your morals? Life, my dude. Live and learn. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It's the sequel to the last book I read. What about your life concerns you the most? Concerns me, my physical health, especially just how weak my legs are. I'm terrified of them continuing to deteriorate. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I cannot fucking stand the misuse of the word "retarded." Like just keep your damn mouth sewn shut if you have the audacity to say things like "hurr hurr this driver is retarded." ANY mental illness/condition is NOT to be mocked. Onto the next question, I'd say I'm more towards difficult to offend. It really depends on the topic. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I re-watched Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. We're working on Avatar: The Last Airbender too, but I won't resume watching it again until we can do it together. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? Well, I weigh a lot more. .-. I gained back almost all the weight I shed since quarantine started, and I'm forever fucking furious about it. I'm the same in most other ways. If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? Uhhhhh meerkat behavior? Idk. Name a song you’ve listened to today? I've got Halocene, Lauren Babic, and Violet Orlandi's cover of "Aerials" by System of a Down on loop right now. It's fucking gorgeous and so mesmerizing. When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We had a small playhouse with swings and a slide. Is your mall nice? GOD no. You better accept the possibility of getting shot before you walk in there. There's nothing that cool at all there. Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? Yeah. I love the strawberry slushy, and the Reese's Blast thing if KILLER. Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? Yes. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? GOOD. STUFF. Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? I think so. Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? No, he's my closest guy friend. To whom did you last give the finger? Probably some idiot that ran a red light. I'm sure it happened in the car, whenever it happened What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? I've got no clue. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No, I hate the texture difference. And just sprinkles in general. Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah, but I beg to differ. Onion rings or french fries? French fries. I'm not a big fan of the other. Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? Nope. Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? When I'm excited, yes, it happens sometimes. Who is the best cook that you know? Uhhhhh idk. Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I don't really skip meals. What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle at all. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Swings. I'd dash to those at recess to try to actually get one. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? All I know is six pounds, no clue on the ounces. Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Sitting my ass at the computer, really... I don't exactly do much. Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? It feels sucky of me considering whenever I do get someone a gift, it's because Mom is letting me use her money with me being without an income, BUT I still do LOVE the process of thinking of something meaningful for those important to me and hopefully seeing them love whatever I got them. I cannot wait until I actually can do that regularly. What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? Take care of my pets. How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I hate driving because you're in a speeding box of death, man. I do really want to start working towards my license though; I've long since reached the "enough is enough" point. But first I need new glasses so I can actually see five feet in front of me. Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Yeah! Is acting something you enjoy? No. I'm too awkward about it. When do you feel most accomplished? When I finish a big art pierce. Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I like 'em. Just messy, which I'm not a fan of. How many best friends do you have? One. Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? None of the above. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? I don't remember exactly, but I was a kid. Do you own any exercise machines? No. I wish. On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nah, but I used to do that. Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, but only because it was a school assignment. Who was your last voicemail from? I don't get voicemails because mine isn't even set up. Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? No. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Not since I was taking a test in high school for my German course. My teacher was a Germany native, so she was a total pro and fun to learn from. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. That's always sounded miserable to me. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I don't know if it's abusive, but it's toxic and dysfunctional as HELL. I don't know WHY she keeps going back to him, I feel awful for the woman. I'm definitely not, 'cuz I wouldn't tolerate that shit for half a second. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out by now. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? Yes, as a safety protocol with mental illness stuff. Do you like fried rice? Yes. What was the last thing you drank? Would you believe me if I told you I have water right now?

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''aerials'' by system of a down

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yumeka36 · 5 years

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Frozen 2 review

I’ve seen Frozen 2 twice now and feel like I’m ready to review it (somewhat) objectively. Obviously there will be spoilers so read at your own risk.

I’ve looked at a number of reviews of the movie both from fans and general critics/moviegoers, and it made me realize exactly what kind of movie this is: pretty much all of the criticism I’ve seen has to do with the plot being unfocused and rushed at times, with points made about the convolution of the mythology elements. On the other hand, the praise I’ve seen has to do with the growth of the characters, how appealing Anna and Elsa’s development is, and the overall message of accepting change, righting past wrongs, and being who you’re meant to be. It’s almost like the critics who didn’t like the movie and the fans who did had completely different expectations for what they wanted to see, with the former expecting some intricate fantasy plot that all clicks together and is fully fleshed out, while the latter is expecting to see their favorite characters face new adventures while growing their relationships and personal identities. And this latter interpretation is the defining point of Frozen’s appeal, even more so in the sequel: the franchise is all about the story arcs of Anna and Elsa and how their bond as sisters helps them grow stronger together as well as individually. In Frozen 2, it’s the characters that are driving the plot instead of the plot driving the characters. And because of this, the movie would rather spend more time focusing on character songs and interactions (not just Anna and Elsa but Olaf and Kristoff too) than exposition and fleshing out of story elements. It would rather spend time showing Kristoff singing about his pining for Anna’s love, give Olaf scenes showing how his new-found knowledge has made him view the world, and give Elsa a follow-up to “Let It Go” in “Show Yourself,” than to spend time explaining, say, the Northuldra culture, how the spirits can make decisions like giving Elsa powers, or exactly how the magic of Ahtohallan works. Yes, this does make some story points lacking and hurried, but I feel that the filmmaking team relies on the fact that we’re so in love with these characters that not understanding every detail in the lore and plot won’t ruin our enjoyment. And, from the acclaim the movie’s getting, I’d say they’re right.

Frozen has always been about quality character story arcs as opposed to quality world-building, but the reason this is more prominent in Frozen 2 is because the first movie had a smaller scale story with minimal lore to focus on, so the character arcs stood out more. Because the sequel brings in more world-building elements, it’s easy for someone who’s not invested in the characters to focus on and judge the movie based on the fine details of the plot. Of course it would be nice if we could have both: intricate, solid world-building as well as character development, but that would probably make the movie too long – it could work for an ongoing series but not for a time-restricted Disney movie that only has a degree of creative liberties and still has to adhere to certain story flows and formulas. So then the questions are, did I feel enough was explained in Frozen 2 to make sense of the story even if a handful of things were lacking? Did the quality of the characters and their developments and relationships make up for a plot that was a bit messy and unfocused? I’d say the answer to these questions is yes.

With that in mind, as a fan judging the movie based more on how the characters are handled rather than the plot, and considering the hype the movie had to live up to and the insane number of directions they could have gone with the story, I think the final product turned out to be very good. The few things I had issue with are as follows:

-as I discussed in most of this post, I admit that the movie is a bit rushed at times, with certain scenes and plot points that needed more focus being glossed over. An extra 5-10 minute runtime would have benefited it immensely: a few more scenes of Agnarr and Iduna in Ahtohallan, more discussion in the finale of Anna becoming queen and what Elsa’s role as the fifth spirit is…even just another 30 seconds for each of these would have made a big difference. But at the same time I feel enough is explained to satisfy a general audience and the main appeal of the movie – the character arcs and relationships – is very well done.

-Kristoff’s failed proposal in the wagon felt way too forced. Anna was just way too quick to misunderstand him, making it feel very unrealistic and it only made their relationship look regressing rather than progressing. The other attempt in the forest was a bit forced too but not as bad as this one. These scenes definitely could have benefited from another rewrite. But thankfully they’re short.

-the new characters like Matthias and Honeymaren contributed virtually nothing to the plot: they could have been replaced with just nameless Northuldra and Arendelle soldiers and nothing would have changed in the story. I think the only reason these characters were made is because there’s some rule that Disney sequels have to have new characters and can’t just rely on the strength of the old ones, so these guys were created even if the movie didn’t necessitate them. Even the four spirits were more plot devices than actual characters. As cute as Bruni is, as soon as I saw him I was like “yeah, he’s just there to sell toys, not gonna contribute anything to the narrative flow” and I was right. This again goes back to what I was saying before about how Frozen 2 chooses to focus more on its (star) characters than world-building through new characters. So in a way, having these new characters isn’t a flaw and it actually shows just how good the original Frozen characters are: they still have so much depth and personality that hasn’t been explored that they can carry this new story on their own without the help of new characters.

But other than a few missing and rushed plot pieces and a little poor writing in Kristoff’s scenes, I thought the movie delivered very well. The love Anna has for Elsa is so amazingly conveyed in this movie that you don’t even need to see the first movie to understand it. All of their interactions and conversations felt so genuine. Olaf was very funny even if all of his jokes didn’t hit their mark. Most of the songs were great and really felt like they were written to move the characters and story forward and not just to be earworms kids will always want to sing. “The Next Right Thing” is one of the darkest moments I’ve seen in any Disney movie, but also one of the most emotionally moving and I have to give kudos to the creative team for keeping it in. “Show Yourself” is the true successor to “Let It Go” (why do they keep pushing “Into the Unknown”?) and is such a beautifully sung and beautifully animated sequence. Speaking of the movie’s animation, it’s gorgeous and it’s so amazing how far the technology has come since the first Frozen. There’s so much detail and nuances in the characters’ expressions and actions that only multiple viewings can pick up on.

Of course, I can’t complete this review unless I discuss the elephant in the room – the ending. Anyone who’s been around the fandom the past couple months knows how bent out of shape everyone got once a vague description of the ending leaked online. Now that I’ve seen it for myself and know all the context, I’m okay with the message: Because Iduna did the right thing and saved Agnarr despite him being her enemy, the spirits gifted their child with powers that could be used to correct the past wrong, should she choose to. And because Anna did the right thing by choosing to destroy her kingdom to save the forest, the spirits freed Elsa who, in turn, was able to save Arendelle. Elsa fully embraced herself and is able to live as she wants, but still able to see her family when she wants. It’s not that she didn’t like being queen of Arendelle and living with Anna and the others, but now that she knows exactly what she is – the fifth spirit – she wants to explore that, but is still able to have a life with her family too. Likewise, Anna has found a purpose she never had before. Even though it’s a major change, she’s happy because she knows Elsa is happy and they can still see each other whenever they want. But as I said, exactly what Elsa does as the fifth spirit should have been explained more (hoping it does in future installments). For what we got though, it was a happy ending, but I won’t say it’s satisfying until we get some more information in future books, filmmaker interviews, and, hopefully, future animated shorts and sequels.

I’m still trying to get over the shock, not just of the fact that a movie I’ve been speculating and daydreaming about for six years is finally here and known, but also the fact that it ended up being very different from what I ever imagined in my theories and headcanons. But now that I’ve watched it twice, I understand the direction the filmmakers went and can appreciate the message they wanted to convey even if the execution was a bit messy. I’m hoping I’m high on Frozen 2 for a while because once it wears off and, assuming, there’s no announcement of new Frozen content by then, I’ll have to figure out what to do with my life! This movie is all about coming to grips with change and I’ll definitely be doing that in reality depending on what the future holds for the Frozen franchise. But as of now, I’m still willing to follow Anna and Elsa into the unknown.

Art credited to @pacota22ma on Twitter

*Crossposted from my main blog, Yume Dimension*

#frozen #frozen 2 #frozen 2 spoilers

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antpernas · 3 years

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1/23/21

This day was... whew boy. A trip.

So, we started off alright, we woke up at an OK time but didn’t end up getting ready to do stuff until after my parents had left for work. At that point, we decided to *get it on* which was SOOOO much fun. Douching together was hilarious, and a nice little throwback to when we first met. It was also nice to finally have sex with someone that I truly, deeply cared about again, and (MOST IMPORTANTLY) to have it be reciprocated. The fact that it was good sex was just a nice perk :) Definitely boosted my confidence with topping, since it had been so long!

After we finished up, we started getting ready to head north! Our first task was to test my kayak and see if it would hold up under our combined weights. The answer; barely! But barely would HAVE to do, since the beach I wanted to take him to was only accessible by boat or by kayak. We loaded my kayak, and this time I made sure that I actually grabbed the oars! Then, off we went!

Before we got to the park, we made a stop at Joseph’s market to get some lunch. Oh my GODDD how horrible a decision that was!! Scorpio was, yet again, overwhelmed with the many choices available to him. He ended up buying various quantities of different items, as opposed to doing the dinner combo like I had suggested, and spent just a bit too much money on food. But, GREAT food, so in my opinion it was worth it! Though, I’m sure his wallet didn’t feel the same.

Afterwards, we made a straight shot to the park, all the while making sure my kayak wasn’t slipping off my car to go tumbling into traffic like a large boulder the size of a small boulder. I think Scorpio ate a little bit while I was driving, and I, as always, took the opportunity to show him more music. This time, I showed him the soundtrack to the sequel of the game I tried to get us to play the night before, which we ended up dozing off while playing. Once we got there, I parked so I could eat my food, then we started getting ready to launch!

Getting into the kayak was the simple partl. The real challenge was getting across to the entrance. Poor Scorpio had to sit in the seat and row us across on this barely balanced kayak, otherwise the weight wasn’t properly distributed. I remember him asking me to hold him tighter while he rowed, which was just... UGH butterflies! It was in this moment that I started singing “Go the Distance,” sparking a new, very unique step in my intimacy with him. Singing seriously was something I had never done in front anyone, and especially not intentionally. I felt very vulnerable, but it was also kind of liberating. And he told me it helped, which made me feel even better. Soon enough, we made it across!

The walk to the beach was gorgeous, and we ended up sparking a discussion about Disney movies and Broadway musicals, which was a part of my memories I hadn’t brushed off in a LONG time. It was also interesting to hear about some of his experiences with them. As much as I love to talk, hearing him talk about his past or his life at any time he felt comfortable sharing it was so amazing. It was almost like it made him seem more real to me, like he wasn’t just this perfect, extraterrestrial angel that brought happiness everywhere he went, but in fact, a human! It was nice.

We ended up singing some more until we got to the beach, which was choppy as SHIT. I already knew from the clouds that it wouldn’t be a good day for snorkeling, but to say I had anticipated the water to be that bad would be a lie. We ended up making an attempt for a few minutes before we just decided to swim normally and then walk the beach and chat more. At some point, we turned around to start trying to get to the exit, but we couldn’t find it! We ended up passing it and hitting the north end of the beach/island, talking about musicals and stuff the entire way there. We found a pretty cool abandoned jetty/pier thing, though, which was SUPER cool. We decided to risk losing the daylight and walked along it while chatting some more.

We got a ways into the path before he stopped me for a second and said there was something he wanted to tell me.

Oh boy.

He didn’t even finish the sentence before I knew where this was going. And then he said it. “I just don’t think I like you that way... You’re like a bro to me.” Surprisingly, I took this pretty well at first! I didn’t cry, didn’t pout, and I think I handled it pretty well. But then we sort of finished the conversation that we were having and it went dead silent between us. And THAT’S when I started to feel it.

I don’t even think I can recount the absolute rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts I had while we started searching for the exit again. I tried my best to be as sweet and enthusiastic as I normally was with him, but I just wasn’t in the headspace to do it, I don’t think. And halfway through the walk back to the dock from the beach exit, I just started choking on my tears. I remember just being so very... conflicted? Angry? Sad? I just couldn’t even begin to piece it together. I was disgusted with myself for thinking I was mad at Scorpio simply because he didn’t feel the same way about me, and I felt stupid for even thinking to feel entitled to that from him in the first place, even though, up until that point, it had never occurred to me that I was! I still don’t even think I was; my mind was just trying to jump to an easy answer to the questions I had bouncing in my head, and blaming Scorpio seemed like the most simple solution, even though every part of me knew that’s not what I wanted to do.

I kept thinking about it, though, and once we were coming up on the entrance, I finally realized who I was REALLY angry at; myself. I was angry because I felt stupid for devoting so much of myself to someone who never felt the same way, for potentially making someone I cared about so much feel that they were obligated to show me that same affection back. Once I came upon this realization, the waterworks REALLY started coming down. But it was liberating to know that I wasn’t truly angry at Scorpio. Really, all I felt in my heart for him was, and is, love. And it was comforting to know that there was nothing more to this situation than that it just. Plain. Sucked. We can’t control who we get butterflies for, and it just so happened that Scorpio didn’t feel that way for me. And that’s okay!

(Sidebar, he chipped his toenail soon after he told me that, and joked that the universe was already putting him in his place. I have a thing to say about that later.)

And this is when I asked myself one very important question; what’s next? That’s what I got to mull on once we got to the kayak and I had to hold him while he rowed us across again, still in silence.

Loading the kayak was a bit of a chore, but we managed to do it and started heading on our way. As much as I tried to hold back my tears once we started going, it just wasn’t happening. This was especially true once I REALLY tried to choke them back to finish talking about the soundtrack to the game I was showing him. The floodgates were OPENED. But it was a relief.

We started chatting and I got what I wanted to say off my chest; that it was all okay. That I realized I’m just mad at myself, and that it’s not his fault that he doesn’t feel the same way for me (not that he needed my validation or anything). I thanked him for being honest and giving me the chance to see him again, as well as this closure, and I apologized for being distant while we were heading back to my car. He was reassuring through all of this, telling me that it was okay, and making sure I understood that he still wanted to be friends, as long as I wanted to be.

And this is when I sort of came upon an answer to that question. I realized a LOT in that hour~ long period after he told me what he needed to, but perhaps the most important takeaway for me is that I just want to be happy. All the other details about situations are semantics; if I love someone and it makes me happy to spend time with them, then I should do it! And if it doesn’t, then I won’t. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter if we’re dating, if we’re friends, or whatever it may be; I didn’t even have concrete definitions for those anyway, so this thought process was the real answer to all my problems. Do what makes me happy. And Scorpio makes me happy. So even if he doesn’t love me the same way, if he wants to be friends, then I’m thankful he’s not just cutting me out of his life and I get to spend more time with him some day! I just need time to get over the heartbreak and adjust to our new relationship. A strong relationship at that.

The “thing” I had to say earlier was that I didn’t by any means want Scorpio to feel as though he deserved some kind of punishment just for breaking my heart. I can already imagine it sucks to hurt someone you care about, and the last thing I would ever want is to rub salt in his wounds. I may poke fun about it in the future when we see each other again, but I would never want to make him feel as though he needs to truly be ashamed or guilty for being honest with me. It’s sort of for this same reason that I don’t like saying he “broke my heart.” Even though he did, just saying it like that paints him as an antagonist, when really, he was just honest with me, and he still means the world to me. He made me realize I need better friends, JAJA!

But, yeah! That was my internal journey, and after that all that was left was to heal, mostly. On the way home, I gushed more about the soundtrack and we chatted about my background with music. He said he was always impressed with me and how I’d taught myself so much about music, and it made me feel all sheepish, but good! We stopped at my old middle school and took a walk around the park/trail right outside of it, and chatted a little bit more about me and my childhood. Once we finished there, we hopped back in the car and went home.

For the most part, home was alright! The only weird part was figuring out our new boundaries, and since everything was so fresh, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to set them. Of course, the ball was in my court, but I didn’t want to suddenly turn on a dime and act as if I didn’t like Scorpio at all, because that would never be the case! My second greatest regret of that trip was not cuddling him when we went to sleep that night.

EDIT: I LIED we tried to play Monument Valley before we went to sleep but we ended up dozing off. Also we talked about our views on relationships when we parked at Red Reef park.

#mydiary

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glassvines · 3 years

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Thoughts on 2020 Favorites

Thoughts on all my favorites from 2020! Sadly, I witnessed what is most likely the demise of one of my favorite hobbies: going to the movies. I hope all my local theaters don’t close up for good this year, and I start going more regularly again in 2021 but. I don’t know if it’s ever going to be the same again. TV Shows 1. Battlestar Galactica (2004) - Getting into this one rather late, but I just discovered I can watch it for free on Peacock haha. Absolutely loving it. Been meaning to finish it ever since I watched the 2003 mini series a few years ago. Stylistically brilliant, and I love that the theological-laden dialogue appears to have a plot-driven point to it. 2. Evil (CBS) - I love this show! Hope it gets another season. It manages to pull off that fine line between silly and creepy most of the time, and all the actors come off as sincere. Also Michael Emerson is there which makes everything even better. Also, also a plus: I'm used to the media portraying Catholics in two different ways: lapsed or bigoted. Muslims? Devout and spiritual or terrorists. It's nice to see a series centered around a devot Catholic, a lapsed Catholic and an ex-Muslim who are all the good guys. Fantastic central characters dynamic. Animation 1. Hilda, season 2 - One of Netflix's best imo. The new season was gorgeous, and even got me to shed a tear at one point. I want to read the comic it's based on. 2. Infinity Train, seasons 2 + 3 - Excellent follow-ups to a great first season. Both were good seasons, but I really enjoyed s2 for Jesse and MT's instant chemistry. 3. Castlevania, season 3 - This show is going to end up breaking my heart but damn if it isn't a really fun watch. Fight scenes continued being top-notch in s3. 4. Bee and Puppycat, season 2 - Yeah, this isn't getting an offical Netflix release until 2022 (what the fuck), but I watched the leaked episodes and enjoyed them a lot. The show feels un-polished and the plot is surrealist nonsense, but those aspects of the show also make it creative and original. I'd like more seasons in the future, but given how disorganized to the point of incompetence the s2 release is, I'm not counting on getting anymore. I don't like seeing the popularity of this show squandered so it's a huge shame. 5. Amphibia, season 2 - Best Disney show airing right now. Characterizations and animation continued being great and I'm looking forward to s3. 6. Wolfwalkers - We all needed a beautiful Cartoon Saloon movie in 2020. It did not disappoint! Hope it has a bluray release soon so I can rewatch it somewhere other than Apple TV+ :/. 7. The Willoughbys - More Kris Pearn directed films please. This movie's character design style was so charming and cute. Loved the Ricky Gervais Cat Narrator. I watched this one with my family after having been separated from them for some time due to the lockdown. It was probably one of the happiest evenings of this year for me. 8. Soul - I enjoyed Onward quite a bit, but Soul hit me in that old-school Pixar feels way. A film about inspiration and finding purpose, so it had a message very similar to Ratatouille. Only Soul ponders on one's worth if they are "not doing what they're meant to do". This movie really knocked that message out of the park.

Video Games 1. Animal Crossing: New Horizons - I played this rather religiously. Definitely kept me from moping during those times when my work hours were cut. 2. Creaks - Amanita Design is offically one of my favorite indie game studios at this point. I adore the atmosphere and music in this game; it's one of the most chill puzzle games I've ever played. 3. Hylics - This game is so bizarre. I've never seen anything like it. Really want to play the sequel.

Films 1. Emma - May officially be my new favorite Emma adaptation. I loved everything about it. The stylized look to the cinematography, the costumes, the music, the actors. Everything. 2. Doctor Sleep - Was surprised at how much I enjoyed this one, as I completely missed it in the theaters. An excellent sequel to a classic, and a well-done good vs. evil story. 3. The Vast of Night - Fun little sci-fi/indie/1950s period piece. I hope streaming services start distributing more films like it. 4. Prospect - My dad recommended this one to me and we watched it together. I was blown away by the dedication to detail; how everything worked in this future setting. Pedro Pascal's character was constantly surprising me too. (Also see: very handsome.)

Podcasts This is only here so I can mention that my favorite new thing was 100% The Magnus Archives. I listened to a lot of new stuff in 2020, but it all paled in comparison to TMA. Good spooky times, great characters and character dynamics, interesting plot direction. The lore is so, so good; I'm impressed with how thorough it is with explaining the seemingly unexplainable, without fully taking away the air of mystery.

Honorable Mentions 1. The Mandalorian, season 2

Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2021 1. Hopefully we'll finally be getting that PacRim series?? 2. The French Dispatch 3. I just want to go the movies again sighhh

Some Creative & General Goals for 2021 I actually managed to do a proper job this year with the journaling and taking more photography! I've started serveral journals, as well as a digital one. So, at least I managed to keep up with one of my creative goals. Managed to have a fairly successful deck garden this year too. My sugar peas didn't die on me haha. Hope to expand on it more this spring/summer. Moving forward this year: 1. Continue to keep up with journaling: drawings, gardening, travel (fingers crossed) and tv/film commentary. 2. Seriously organize my photography this year, as well as post online more often. 3. Help my brother this year with some of his own creative projects! He's always asking for art and I'm usually too busy, but this year I want to get more serious and contribute to his projects. 4. Maybe get back to an old goal of learning how to play the guitar. I want to drop some cash on one this month so I can practice at home.

#New Year's #some comments #glassvines gets irl #animation

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multimetaverse · 5 years

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HSM:TM:TS 1x01 Review

The Auditions was a great series premiere for High School Musical: The Musical: The Series and I’m very excited for all that’s to come. Let’s dig in!

Disney certainly got its money worth with this show. The gorgeous Utah scenery and actual on location filming really helps ground the series with a sense of realism. To that end, I really liked the little details, like the principal not wanting to spend anything on the musical, the kids social media use, and that the kids actually look like regular kids who live in regular houses and go to a regular high school

Such a talented cast! Olivia Rodrigo is a showstopper, what a wonderful rendition of Start of Something New that was and Joshua Bassett seems born to play Ricky. Sofia is an amazing dancer and I’m excited to see some of the productions they put on later in the season

Miss Jenn reminds me of April Rhodes from Glee and I mean that as a compliment. Her delivery of, ‘’that is so fresh’’ still makes me laugh. I love that she cast Ricky as Troy on a whim for maximum drama and of course she wants a Ms. Darbus song, she’s an agent of chaos and I’m here for it. I also liked her begging her mom for car loan payment money, you’re not really a millennial if you haven’t lived pay cheque to cheque at some point

Even though we’ve seen them in the trailer, Carlos’ first 15 minutes of both sequels and Broadway lines still made me chuckle

I like the glimpses we get of the kids home lives. Very refreshing to see Nini’s two moms and see that she has a mixed race family and with Andi Mack off of Disney Channel, tonight’s showing of HSMTMTS might be the last time any kind of lgbtq rep is seen on Disney Channel itself for quite a while. Her grandma looks too young to be in a nursing home but it was nice to see her helping Nini with her self-confidence. Poor Ricky with his parents marriage collapsing, that’s gonna be a tearjerker if and when his mom returns from Chicago to officially end things with his dad. Seems like Gina’s mom has high expectations of her which eventually lead to their scene we saw in the promo where Gina breaks down

We dove right into the love triangle at the heart of this season: Nicky vs NJ. As I was watching the first flashback scene between Nini and Ricky, I thought to myself that if they keep writing them scenes like this I just might become Nicky trash, I was trying to stay neutral but after Ricky’s audition I’m definitely team Ricky, that really was the #ultimatecomeback. Ricky singing ‘’I Think I Kind of You Know’’, the song Nini wrote for him was just too sweet; it warmed even my cold, black heart. And that shot of Ricky and EJ lighting Nini with their phones and forming a triangle? Poetic cinema

It really does seem like Nicky is the endgame ship with NJ just an obstacle in its path especially with Nini having been in love with Ricky just six weeks ago and only having met EJ four weeks ago. EJ is very supportive of Nini and I did like how sweet he is with her, that line about her being a cute chorus cow was great. I saw on Disney +’s twitter poll that the fandom is split about 66% team Ricky to 33% team EJ which is an interesting split but also reflects the writing tipping it’s hand, it does want us to like NJ but not at the expense of Nicky

One thing that I don’t like so far is the age gap between Olivia and Matt, she’s 16 and he’s 21 and they both look their age. I’m not saying that all teen roles need to be played by teens but that age gap is significant when they’re playing girlfriend and boyfriend and was an unforced error on the shows part. It reminds me of the problems GMW suffered by casting a much older Peyton Meyer to play Riley’s love interest. Matt Cornett’s age as well as EJ being the only senior of the main cast is another hint that he won’t be playing Nini’s love interest past this season

I do hope that however this love triangle ends that it’s done as cleanly as possible. Love triangles are rarely pulled off well because the show or movie or book will usually tip its hand fairly quickly as to which is the ‘real’ ship but they also usually end up damaging the characters involved. In this case Ricky is not just a rival for Nini’s affections but a would be homewrecker who’s set out to breakup Nini and EJ which if not handled carefully could make Ricky look like a bad guy

As an aside, Nini having a shirtless photo of EJ on her phone and her and Ricky hanging out alone in her bedroom in the flashback is spicy for Disney but does at least gesture more to the reality of teen life than the typical squeaky clean Disney fare

Carlos is the colour guard captain, that was in the original casting notice (back when Carlos was named Vikram) and Tim Federle mentioned in an interview that he based Carlos off of one of his best friends who was also a colour guard captain. I’ve been wondering for a couple of weeks now if Frankie Rodriguez was actually allowed to reveal that Carlos is gay because it hasn’t been talked about in interviews or mentioned in any reviews so far. His line about EJ not knowing who he is, seems like it could potentially be set up for an arc about Carlos trying to make himself known. He knew that Seb wanted to try out for Sharpay rather than Ryan so presumably he already knows him? We know that something is being teased between him and Seb but I won’t hold my breathe for getting very much from Disney, at least this season

Not much to say about the other characters so far. Kourtney is barely a step above the sassy black friend trope but I think some of it has to due with the fact that Tim Federle originally just wanted Kourtney to be a one off supportive friend for Nini but so liked the actress that he decided to make her a main. Ashlyn is supposed to have a powerful duet with Nini in the second ep so that is something to look forward to as is her relationship with her cousin EJ. Big Red is a nice supportive friend and that’s about it. Not much to Mr. Mazara either. It does seem like the dividing line between major and lesser main characters are those who have lead roles in the musical itself

I love that the mockumentary interviews happen even when they make absolutely no sense in universe

We get some full character names from the cast list: Seb Matthew- Smith, Ricky Bowen, EJ Caswell, Gina Porter, and Nini Salazar-Roberts

Looking Ahead:

I read in reviews that EJ teams up with Gina to take down Ricky while Gina tries to take down Nini. That’s a pretty easy path to villainize EJ and sink NJ eventually while then using EJ’s panic attacks and Gina’s story line with her mom to build them back up. I sincerely hope that they don’t even try to go for one sided Gina and EJ as Sofia is the youngest cast member

Sofia did say that Gina would make things complicated for the love triangle and in a promo clip she said she was ‘intrigued’ by Ricky so we’ll see what happens

Miss Jenn supposedly left New York in unclear circumstances so I wonder where they’ll go with that. My own theory is that she used to be an extra on Law and Order: SVU and was having a torrid affair with Dan Florek before being exposed

I’ll try to have these reviews up Friday evenings but that’s dependent on when I can watch the eps. Because the pilot aired on tv we’ll actually get ratings either Monday or Tuesday which will be the only time we’ll get publicly released data otherwise all we’ll get is what Disney wants us to know and that will often just be spin. I’m very excited for this season and for season two and I can’t wait to see what’s ahead. Until next week wildcats

#HSMTMTS #HSM #Ricky Bowen #Nini Salazar-Roberts #EJ Caswell #Nicky #NJ #Gina Porter #Sofia Wylie #HSMTMTS Reviews #Miss Jenn #Carlos #seb matthew-smith

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straightupstrangetimes · 4 years

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13 Not-So-Scary Movies to Get You in the Halloween Spirit!

Contributed by Kris Rustic, host of Obscure Anomalies podcast

Halloween is around the corner. Everywhere you look a horror movie is playing. For me, I love it. There is just something about being scared while knowing full well you are safe. But not everyone is into that sort of thing. My wife is one, so I tried to find lists of not-so-scary movies but was having trouble coming up with one, so I decided to write my own.

Please keep in mind, I did try to keep the list more kid and family friendly.

13. HOCUS POCUS

300 years have passed since the Sanderson sisters were executed for practicing dark witchcraft. Returning to life, thanks to a combination of a spell spoken before their demise and the accidental actions of Max, the new-kid-in-town, the sisters have but one night to secure their continuing existence. With the help of his younger sister Dani, his high school crush Allison, and a magical cat, it is up to Max to save the children of Salem.

A must see on any Halloween movie list. Full of light-hearted humour, this film is loved by people of all ages.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

12. CASPER (1995)

Furious that her late father only willed her his gloomy-looking mansion rather than his millions, Carrigan Crittenden makes a plan to burn the place to the ground. That is, until she finds a map leading to a treasure hidden under the house. But when she enters the rickety mansion to seek her claim, she is frightened away by the mansions ghostly inhabitants. Determined to get her hands on this hidden fortune, Crittenden hires afterlife therapist Dr. James Harvey to exorcise the ghosts from the mansion. Harvey and his daughter Kat move in and soon Kat befriends Casper, the ghost of a young boy, who is “the friendly ghost.” But not so friendly are Casper’s uncles--Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie--who are determined to drive all “fleshies” away. It is up to Harvey and Kat to help the ghosts cross over to the other side.

I may get some flack putting Casper this high up on the list, but hey, to each their own. Casper is a fun little film filled with the right amount of supernatural scares placed inside a package that every age can enjoy.

Watch it: Starz; Amazon Rent or Buy

11. THE WITCHES

While staying at a hotel in England with his grandmother, Helga, young Luke inadvertently spies on a convention of witches. The Grand High Witch reveals a plan to turn all children into mice through a magical formula. When they find that Luke has overheard, the witches test the formula on him. Now, with the help of his grandmother and new friend Bruno Jenkins, Luke the mouse must fight back against the evil witches.

Based on the book of the same name, The Witches is a classic. This may be one of the more frightening films on the list but is still children-friendly. Besides, who doesn’t want to save the world as a mouse.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

10. THE MONSTER SQUAD

The Monster Squad is a club of friends who idolize the classic monster-movies, especially their non-human stars. One day, Dracula, the Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster, and other classic horror icons, all of which the club idolize, arrive in town in search of a magic amulet to destroy all the good in the world. It is up to the five friends to save the amulet from destruction and use it to cast the monsters into limbo.

One part The Goonies, one part Ghostbusters, and one part Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, the Monster Squad is a true cult classic that was way ahead of its time.

Watch for yourself and find out if the “Wolfman has nards.”

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

9. BEETLEJUICE

Adam and Barbara are like every other happily married couple -- who just happen to also be dead! Before they died, Adam and Barbara had spent their vacation to decorate and make the house their own, that is, until the fatal car crash. Unfortunately, a new family is moving in, and not quietly as they make plans to redecorate the house with the help of an interior designer. Adam and Barbara try to scare them out, but end up becoming the main attraction to the money making family. They call upon Beetlejuice to help, but Beetlejuice has more in mind than just helping.

While having a special place in my heart for taking place in Connecticut, Beetlejuice is an all around classic starting Michael Keaton and a young Winona Ryder.

Watch it:: Amazon Rent or Buy

8. PARANORMAN

Norman Babcock has the ability to speak with the dead -- and he often prefers their company to that of the living. Norman learns from his estranged uncle that a centuries-old witch’s curse on their town is real and about to come true -- and only Norman can stop it. When zombies rise from their graves, Norman and his ragtag team must summon all their courage and compassion to the limit to save his fellow townspeople. Taking place in the fictional town of Blithe Hollow, this stop-motion film is a beautiful take on the Salem Witch Trials.

I have to admit, I slept on this movie when it first came out. I had no interest in it at all, but then I watched it and became an instant favourite. The humour is a little more blue for a “children’s” movie, but the lesson learned in the end is valuable for all involved. Did I mention it is also well known for being the first mainstream animated film with an openly gay character?

Watch it: Sadly it is not available for streaming on Amazon, Netflix, or Hulu at this time, due to licensing agreements

7. FRANKENWEENIE

Young Victor Frankenstein is a science nerd and an outsider at school, but he does have one friend, his dog Sparky. Sadly, tragedy strikes, taking Sparky away from Victor. Heartbroken, Victor is given an idea of how to bring Sparky back to life. The experiment is a success and everything goes fine, that is, until his fellow students learn of his secret and use it to resurrect their beloved lost pets. Frankenweenie is a heartwarming tale of a boy and his dog, and the lengths we would go to keep our beloved friend.

I consider Frankenweenie to be the sister movie to ParaNorman. Both are stop motion and came out in the same year. The difference is Frankenweenie takes you back to the classic universal horror icons in a brand-new way. Did I mention it is in black and white and has that classic monster movie feel?

watch it: Rent on Youtube

6. NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

What happens to the Pumpkin King when he tires of being just that, the King of Halloween. Jack Skellington is bored of the same annual routine of scaring the people of the real world. One day, he stumbles upon Christmastown, full of bright colours and warm spirits, bringing a new lease to Jack’s life. He plots to bring Christmas under his control, only to find that the best-laid plans of mice and skeleton can go awry.

Originally I intended only one movie per director, but I don’t think you can begin to discuss family friendly Halloween without Tim Burton, especially because you cannot have a Halloween list without Nightmare Before Christmas. In all fairness, this is the perfect movie to finish out the year with.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

5. COCO

Miguel dream of becoming a musician, just like his idol, Ernesto de la Cruz. The problem, his family has a generations-old ban on music. Desperate to prove his talent, Miguel steals Ernesto’s guitar and finds himself in the colourful Land of the Dead. With the help of a charming trickster named Héctor and Miguel’s dog Dante, Miguel must find his way back home, meanwhile learning the truth about his family’s past.

All bite. Coco is a Dia de los Muertos movie. I know some of you will complain that it is not a Halloween movie. Truth is, the spirit of Dia de los Muertos and Halloween are close enough for me to warrant inclusion into the list. The scenery and background is gorgeous, the story will tug at the heartstrings, and you will get to learn a little about the culture behind Dia de los Muertos, even if a bit Disneytized.

Watch it: Netflix

4. HALLOWEENTOWN

On Halloween, while Marnie is arguing with her mother Gwen, the kids’ grandmother Aggie comes to visit. Aggie wants to start Marnie’s witch training before her 13th birthday or Marnie will lose her powers forever. But there is another reason for Aggie’s visit. Something dark and evil is growing in Halloweentown, and Aggie wants help to defeat it. While Aggie and Gwen are arguing, Aggie uses magic, which Marnie observes. After Aggie leaves to return to Halloweentown, Marnie, Dylan and, unknown to Marnie and Dylan, Sophie follow her onto the return bus. Soon afterwards, Gwen follows the children to Halloweentown. While there, Aggie and Gwen are attacked by the dark force. Marnie, Dylan and Sophie have to race to get the ingredients to activate Merlin’s Wand to stop the evil and save Halloweentown.

A classic made for TV Disney movie, this film (and all sequels) are a perfect Halloween movie for all ages, and albeit a little cheesy at times. But who doesn’t love the occasional cheesy movie?

3. SCOOBY DOO AND THE WITCH’S GHOST

When the Master Gang Scooby meet a famous horror writer Ben Ravencroft (who may or may not be based off of Stephen King) during their last mystery, he invites them to his small hometown of Oakhaven, Massachusetts to join in the annual Autumn Fest. Ravencroft tells the Mystery Gang about the history of his ancestor, Sarah Ravencroft, who happened to be an evil witch and is supposedly haunting the town of Oakhaven. The gang decides to help the town and solve the mystery of the Witch’s Ghost.

This was tough to pick. We have Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby Doo and Zombie Island, I mean honestly any Scooby Doo movie could fit. But I picked Witch’s Ghost for three simple reasons: takes place during the fall, witches, and the Hex Girls, a fictional all-female Goth Rock Band.

Watch it: Amazon Prime, Boomerang Channel on Amazon

2. MONSTER HOUSE

13-year-old DJ is obsessed with his creepy neighbour, Nebbercracker, and his eerie house. After all, rumours of his past have run rampant in the town. But one day, DJ and his friends witness the house come to life. Unable to find an adult that will believe him, and with Halloween vastly approaching, it is up to DJ and his friends to find a way to destroy the house before innocent trick-or-treaters meet their end.

At times, this film is a little on the frightening side, at least for the younger ones. The characters are well thought out and put together. While the animation is not ground breaking, it looks great and fits the movie perfectly. A perfect film for those looking for a fun, clean movie this Halloween.

Watch it: Amazon Rent or Buy

1. GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN

While collecting junk from an abandoned house, best friends Sonny and Sam come across an unpublished “Goosebumps” book. Opening it, they release Slappy, a mischievous talking dummy. Hoping to start a family, Slappy kidnaps Sonny’s mother and brings fourth all of his ghoulish friends (creatures and monsters from the Goosebumps novels) to life, just in time for Halloween. The sleepy town becomes overrun with monsters, witches, and other mysterious creatures. It is up to Sonny, his sister Sarah, and Sam to save their town, his mother, and foil Slappy’s plans.

Goosebumps (2015) is a pure nostalgia ride with a brand new feel and Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween is no different. Trading in some of the humor for a little more horror feel, the movie has a little bit to offer for everyone.

Watch it: Netflix

The truth of the matter is, this list is not perfect and may never be complete, but it is a great starting point to the ever growing list of the Not-So-Scary Halloween movies. I feel in writing this, I have left so many great films off, so I have a list of some runner up films that just barely missed being on my top 13.

RUNNER UPS

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

Dracula and the classic horror monsters are afraid of humans. In an attempt to take a vacation away from humanity, Dracula operates a hotel way off in the woods. One day, a brave human makes his way to the castle, where the human and Dracula’s daughter “Zing”.

ADDAMS FAMILY (1991)

A man claiming to be Uncle Fester, the missing brother of Gomez Addams shows up at the Addam’s household. The family is thrilled, however Morticia begins to suspect the man is a fraud as he cannot recall details of Fester’s life. With the help of a lawyer, Fester manages to get the Addams evicted from the home. Can the Addam’s family save Uncle Fester? Can they get their home back?

DOUBLE DOUBLE TOIL AND TROUBLE

The Farmer family is in debt and might lose their house. The Farmer Twins discover the somebody mean and shrewd is responsible for all the family problems. The determined twins try to trick at their evil aunt out of her magic moonstone to save their family home.

THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD

Two animated adaptations of classic literature adapted by Disney make up this film, which is the only reason it made the runner up list as Mr. Toad, while good, has nothing to do with Halloween. However, in the “Legend of Sleepy Hollow” the gangly schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane, falls for the beautiful Katrina Van Tassel. Caught in a love triangle with Katrina and Brom Bones, Ichabod fears the local legend of the Headless Horseman. Is the legend more truth than lore?

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS MEET THE WOLFMAN

Alvin loves monsters and monster movies, though he is terrified of them. Stuck with Werewolves on the mind, he believes his next door neighbour is one. Reluctantly, Simon helps Alvin investigate the neighbour. Meanwhile Theodore is bitten by a strange dog, and finds his inner “inner monster” and starts behaving like a werewolf himself.

Did I miss your favourite Not-So-Scary Halloween movie? Let me know what it is in the comments below.

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