#;A; am not creative like her

[lil-beanz000]

"It's him. The man of the cat walk, the ruler of the ruler and threading machine. Clad with his iconic pink taser Leo takes the front page of our issue this month to show off his continuing rise into the fashion world"

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt leo #unpause rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #fashion au #my art #tmnt #fashion #leo outfits felt more fitting being just all over the place #mixed jewelry #mixed patterns #jean shorts with frill yo #i want his top tho irl #iz subposta be kinda magazine vibe #bless roomie for amazing captions btw #;A; am not creative like her

[egophiliac]

We ARE going to bring up Captain Amelia. You have good taste! GOOD TASTE I SAY! *aka I just rewatched Treasure Planet and got hit with, "Oh yeahhhhh... that explains a lot!"*

honestly, the Meg/Jasmine/Amelia trifecta tells you 90% about me as a person. (the rest is covered by Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Uranus and, uhhh, I'll stop baring my soul to the world now)

and speaking of Amelia, this is tangential, but like -- there's one Twst comic I have been kicking at for a while where I needed an RSA sports/flight teacher and, uh, well

someday I will wrangle this stupid comic into coherency and she'll get to make an appearance (in the background of a single panel, half-obscured by a tall hat) (but I will know she's there and that's the important thing)

#art #twisted wonderland #twst oc #my plan worked i've tricked you all into looking at my anime catgirl oc #she exists to yell at some rsa boys so she doesn't really have like. a character or story or anything. sorry! #(her name is alexandria north and that is what she considers a sporty outfit. that's as far as i got) #this is the one that is mainly about silver and neige having a mutual bluebird friend and i am having terrible trouble making it not suck #which given some of the stuff i post should tell you something about how it's going so far #(it's just kind of an incoherent mess of ideas at this point. nothing specific just ~the creative process~) #maybe the rest of episode 7 will give my brain the kickstart it needs. depends on how that goes i guess #god. the next episode 7 bit drops in (probably) just a few days. #I'M NOT READY #i have simultaneously never been ready and always been ready #i exist in a perpetual state of impatience

[peachcitt]

from: thirteen by @anna-scribbles

art by me :)

start from the beginning // read the november chapter // read the most recent chapter (january)

hey listen. look me in my eyes. have you read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you want your life to be forever changed you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. i think if you are a person who is breathing and alive you need to read thirteen by anna scribbles. thank you

#thirteen #miraculous ladybug #ml art #emilie agreste #adrien agreste #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fic #ml fic rec #my art #THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN HAUNTING THE INSIDE OF MY BRAIN EVER SINCE I READ THE NOVEMBER CHAPTER BACK IN NOVEMBER #now. listen. in an ideal world i would've done this way back in november but uhhhhhhh i don't know what happened. suddenly it was december #and now it's february! not sure how that happened. anyway my goal is to be making a piece of art for each chapter to convey #just how fucking INSANE this fic makes me feel. like how crazy and insane and awesomely constructed it is. anna just GETSSSS ITTTTTTT #(and is using her 'get it' ability to hurt me bodily) #like with every chapter i read i am just assaulted with this intense desire to Make An Image which is not really an impulse im used to #since i don't draw a ton but anna's voice is just so evocative of images in a way that just. inspires every creative impulse inside of me #i took forever to read the december chapter but the moment i read it i already had an idea of something i wanted to draw for it. #my idea is. well. complex for me to say the least but as i told anna i am determined to make my skills match whatever i need to do because #the way she writes it is literally haunting me it is shooting me with a gun it is so something i have no idea how to handle #except i guess to repeat her themes and ideas and imagery in a collage of sorts #i don't know that's what my october chapter comic felt like- a collage. and this one does too in a way even though it's very different #i just like connecting the dots. and then smashing the dots together in an image #anyway. read thirteen. it is changing me all the way down to the dna

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

The fact that Taylor has released the same amount of albums under Universal/Republic in less than half the time when she was with Big Machine, really makes me wonder about all of the potential things she could’ve done if instead of having to fight tooth and nail for everything, they had granted her more creative freedom and trusted her.

#adding these clarifying tags since this post has gained some traction #the point of this post isn’t ‘omg she could’ve released so many more albums!!’ it’s about the creative choices she could’ve made on existing #projects either in terms of sound or collaboration or what #it’s about the difference in trust the two labels had/have in her #bmg did have a lot of trust and belief in her but as she grew wildly popular there was an effort to rein her in #she’s at a point with umg where she knows they have trust in her that she’s comfortable with releasing music on her own terms #her gut instincts are usually spot on and toward the end of the relationship bmg started to push back #her relationship with them wasn’t horrible from start to end there were a lot of good moments it just started to crumble at the end #taylor swift #midnights #like the difference is absolutely crazy #she’s been with umg/republic for only four/five years and was with BMG for 11 and has released the same number of albums #okay forgive me it’s like 7 am but it’s more like 13-15 years #obviously she didn’t really have to start fighting for stuff until red/1989 but it really makes me wonder #and how she talked in the long pond sessions about being nervous and scared to turn folklore in and their confidence is like 180 from BMG #like they have completely trusted in her and let her do whatever she wants to amazing results #🗒 #this got notes*

[utilitycaster]

I just want to say, that I agree with almost all of your Critical Role takes and you have 1000% better and more nuanced takes than all of Twitter and I greatly appreciate it! The takes over there regarding Liliana and the gods are just wild and you bring some much needed sanity to the content I see

Thanks! I hope you don't mind because I've been thinking about this re: the Twitter takes but the thing about Twitter and Liliana specifically that I've seen is that there's this really bizarre fetishization of like, the fact that she is a (white) southerner (this also weirdly happened for Birdie though to a much lesser extent, and the person who spearheaded that wasn't even American so I have to assume this is a specific corner of Twitter Culture At Large). And like, here's the thing. It's true that fantasy tends to be very British in its accents, and it's also true that accents in a fantasy world are used to convey the same things we'd assume in our world - RP British for educated, southern American for rural, Cockney for rougher types, etc.

It's also true that laying the exact socioeconomic parallels from our world onto, say, Liliana and Orym (who reads to me as non-regional but I, like Liam, am from the Northeast originally) is a recipe for disaster. Or rather, it's not, but it is going to reaffirm your own biases, some of which are dangerous to reaffirm.

There was a popular post on Tumblr a while back, probably not long after Trump was elected, of someone talking about how they were convincing a relative with the confederate flag towards socialism by appealing to the idea of "isn't in unfair how uneven wealth distribution is and how a small group has so much control" and a number of people were rightfully like "uh, maybe you should focus on the racism" or "hey OP ask your relative who they think that small group in control is because I'm getting a really bad feeling they're going to say it's The Jews." And I feel that a lot of the empathy for Liliana from those spaces feels like that OP. Or in other words: I get that you see your relatives in Liliana. Unfortunately, I cannot help but see me and mine in Orym.

You see someone trapped by circumstance and desperation in a dangerous ideology. I see the fact that I haven't gone to a synagogue in easily 6-7 years without there being a security guard present and usually, the doors locked with someone looking through the window to let you in, and then in the sanctuary there's been an installation so that you can quickly bar all the doors in case an alarm goes off or you hear shots in the lobby.

I think there's a great case for seeing yourself in Imogen, who is in a painful struggle with the fact that her mother does love her very much but is in dangerously deep and has done a number of incredibly terrible and harmful things. That latter point is important, incidentally; I get that cult members sometimes rise through the ranks but all but the leader are being manipulated. But the fact remains that a brainwashed person can still commit atrocities, and in this story, they have, many times over. It's especially true because like...sure, plenty of people are like "I lost my relative to a cult and I just want them back and I couldn't harm them," but also, as we've seen, this cult can and will harm Imogen! Plenty of people are also like "yeah I gotta cut them off, it hurts but unfortunately my horribly bigoted and violent relative, while a victim of brainwashing, is a threat to me too." It's not even the full picture of the Temult side of things, let alone the picture that includes the Vanguard's victims.

I also think the Southern gatekeeping is unhinged because it's like. guys there's QAnon members and other cults across the country; the Confederate flag example above was actually notable in that OP wasn't even Southern so you couldn't even write the flag off as deeply misguided heritage but rather was explicitly being used as a hate symbol. It's awfully presumptive to assume all southerners have the same experience (especially since the Temults are portrayed, physically and in accents, as white southerners, not that the experiences of white southerners aren't also incredibly varied). It's awfully presumptive to assume that people find Liliana threatening because they have no personal experience with people like her; often, it's because they have all too real experience with people like her, and it says something even worse about you if you can say "but you guys, I see me and my family in Liliana" when people are telling you that they see them and their families in Orym. I would not, personally, publicly admit that one's empathy extends to the people who remind you of your family but runs out before it reaches their victims. Nor would I publicly admit that I assume everyone who disagrees with me clearly has never had personal experience with this topic.

I should also note that, as I've noted a number of times before, that these are fictional characters and not real people. Twitter seems to be really fucking bad at grasping that. Like, yes, this is the other thing; I do not think that OP should kill their Confederate flag-toting relative, whereas if Imogen did so to Liliana I'd be like "hell yeah." The former is a real person who I do hope gets deprogrammed, just, you know, maybe adjust those priorities; the latter is a fictional character in a story.

#answered #anonymous #if steel had a southern accent do you think people would feel differently about her? sound off in the comments i guess. #cr spoilers #it really is like. with the people who can't separate characters from real people...there's this assumption #that everyone who doesn't agree with them lacks the same experiences or is bigoted #don't like liliana? well it's because you're not southern. don't like laudna? it's because you're neurotypical and straight and hate women. #notice how none of these carry within them any argument within the text? notice how they just rely on the assumption #that you can only understand things through direct personal experience and not like...thought and empathy? #that if you fit certain demographics you obviously Will hold these exact opinions bc clearly all nd people or wlw are a monolith? #it's like. yeah man i see why you have more sympathy for the vanguard than their victims...you think like a cultist even if you're not one #you say There's Those Who Understand And Have The Mandate of Heaven Because We're (southern or nd or queer or whatever) #and then there's Them The Ones Who Don't Get It And Never Will Bc They're Not Like Us (even though plenty of times...they are) #anyway. as always i am sorry that twitter sucking hurts the careers of countless creatives #but i think it does foster this sort of no-nuance no-argument Me First thinking so. can't be too sorry. #long post

[jackass-noir]

I Thank You: A Brief Account of Sonic’s No Good Terrible Very Bad Day (and Shadow’s even worse day)

@son1c’s sonic prime au has been jingling around my brain like a loose marble (especially the splinters of shadow), and this ask from @boom-fanfic-a-latta inspired me to actually sit down and write it :D

~~~

The first thing Shadow noticed was the noise.

It was hard not to notice it, honestly. The eerie silence of the Void was disconcerting, but this was something Shadow had never encountered before. This was an oppressive wall of sheer sound that filled the air and slammed into his ears the minute he entered the Boscage.

It knocked the wind out of him, and he sunk to his knees as he tried to regain his composure.

Dimly, he heard Sonic buzzing around him, jabbering about something. Shadow could only grit his teeth in response.

It’s so loud….How does Sonic not hear this?

He clapped a hand over his mouth in a desperate attempt to ground himself, to experience anything other than the oppressive sound. It didn’t work.

“Shadow? You alright?”

Shadow let out a shaky breath, and it took great effort for him to stop his ears from twitching. The last thing he needed was Sonic worrying about him.

“I’m fine. It’s just adjusting to a new Shatterverse.” Shadow forced himself to his feet. “Tell me about this world?”

Sonic didn’t look convinced, but didn’t press the issue. “The Bocage is entirely take over by huge plants. The forest floor is entirely inhospitable to life, and that means that—“

Plants. It couldn’t be.

Could it?

He felt a tear escape and leak down the side of his face. He was vaguely aware that Sonic, who had been staring at him with concern, had tracked that tear’s path with his eyes. But Shadow had bigger things to worry about. He, and probably he alone, could hear the Boscage.

And it was screaming.

~~~

It had been a few days. Some of the worst days of Shadow’s existence. Boscage Maze was a blur. The residents of the Boscage were a blur. The only thing that was clear was, paradoxically, the murmur of the forest. As it turns out, when billions of plants whisper in someone’s mind, it results in a cacophony, and the worst headache Shadow has ever had.

He was beginning to have trouble remembering why he was there, his goal in coming here, and even who he was. He just shuffled behind Sonic as they navigated the jungle.

Today, they were visiting….somewhere. Egg…something? Shadow couldn’t remember, but Tails was leading the way. Or, this Shatterverse’s Tails. His head hurt too much to care.

He was also didn’t care when he met Windthrow. A tiny voice at the back of his mind reminded him that, but for the Deafening Sounds, he would have been astounded.

A larger, stronger, and more feral Sonic. Would wonders ever cease.

Shadow was roused from his thoughts as they arrived at their destination. It was an unassuming structure, with vine tendrils snaking around, but generally well kept. As they walked through the entryway, he absently noted that the design reminded him of the Ark.

They stepped into the entryway, and the doors swung shut, leaving their little group in the quiet hallway.

And it was quiet. It was utterly silent.

He felt his shoulders sag in relief. He didn’t realize how awful the noise was. It didn’t even bother him that there was a slight buzzing from the overhead lights.

“Shadow, everything alright?” Sonic’s voice boomed in his ears. It hurt, and made his ears twitch, but he welcomed it.

Shadow nodded slowly. He still felt a little dazed, but it was a relief to be able to think clearly for the first time in what felt like forever.

~~~

Sonic was worried.

Well, he was worried about a lot of things. This was an extremely bad situation, and he was well aware that that was an understatement. But in particular, Sonic was worried about Shadow. He was acting more reclusive and irritable than usual. Which was saying something.

Whenever they were at the Egg Base, Shadow disappeared, even though Sonic looked everywhere in the building. And when they were outside, he acted distracted and upset. Every time Sonic asked him what was wrong, he would respond (in true Shadow fashion) with a snappish “Nothing”. But his constant ear twitching and eyes darting back and forth belied his distress. So did his muttering under his breath.

Sonic had decided not to continue pestering him. He instead focused all his attention and worry on finding the Shard.

The sooner we find it, the sooner I get Shadow out of here. The sooner I fix my stupid mistake.

Currently, they were in the Egg Base, and surprisingly, Shadow was hanging out with the group. Sonic was grateful to see that he looked relaxed, even if it was only a little bit. The weird dude who looked kind of like Eggman was showing off his latest creation, which was a metal version of Windthrow.

But as Metal Windthrow was powered on, Sonic was distracted by a faint gasp behind him. He turned and saw Shadow standing there completely rigid, chest heaving and eyes darting wildly. His ears wouldn’t stop twitching. He locked eyes with Sonic, before he fled the room.

Sonic got up to follow up, but stopped when he felt a large paw on his shoulder. Windthrow excitedly pointed at his metal counterpart, and threw back his head and howled. Metal Windthrow followed suit, and his rusty howl joined Windthrow’s. Sonic couldn’t help but smile fondly at what was soon to be a fast friendship. His smile fell as he turned and strode out of the room, determined to find Shadow.

~~~

He didn’t see Shadow for days after that, until one day Sonic entered the dining room. Shadow was standing at one of the tables, poring over the map that they had crudely drawn.

“Shadow! There you are! Are you alright? You disappeared! I’ve been looking everywhere for this Shard but haven’t found anything yet. Hey, what do you think—”Sonic’s nervous rambling was cut off by Shadow’s voice, which was uncharacteristically quiet.

“Sonic. Everything is okay. I just needed some to adjust to the Boscage Maze.” At this, Sonic frowned and opened his mouth, and closed it again. He sat down at the table, watching Shadow’s green eyes rake over the map. He looked—well, calm. But at the same time, he didn’t look well adjusted at all. He still had a dazed look, and there were heavy bags under his eyes.

“Are you sure? You can rest today, and we can go look tomorrow!” Shadow gave a small, fond smile, and Sonic felt his concern tie itself into knots in his stomach.

“We are fine, and in fact quite like being outside among the trees. It’s like coming home.” He turned and strode towards the door. “Let us go now and find Thorn Rose. Finding the Shard is our top priority.” Sonic pushed his worries aside. Shadow was right. The Shard was the most important thing.

Over the next couple of days, Shadow took charge of searching the Shard. He would stay out long after Sonic returned to the Egg Base for the night, and would even be gone before he woke up in the morning. He knew that Shadow was the Ultimate Loner, but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of his mind. There was something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, something he was missing. And it had everything to do with the strange way Shadow was acting.

~~~

Sonic burst into the clearing, almost crashing into Shadow in his excitement.

“Shadow, there you are! I have a good lead on the Shard! We can grab it and fit the prism back together! We’re one step closer to going home!” Shadow looked up sharply with a glint in his eyes that made Sonic uneasy. As quick as it had appeared, Shadow’s face had smoothed back into that same calm expression he had had for the past couple of days.

“That’s good to hear, Sonic. But we don’t need to rush things. The Boscage is truly wonderful. I’m glad to have been able to experience it. In fact, we are sorry for our past anger. You see, it wouldn’t have existed if you hadn’t shattered the Paradox Prism. So, how could I be angry? I thank you, Sonic the Hedgehog.”

I thank you.

Sonic’s blood ran cold.

Shadow…

He took a step towards who…or whatever was controlling Shadow. “Who are you! What have you done with Shadow!”

‘Shadow’ just smiled. “We are Shadow. It would be rude to ignore this gift you have sent us. You have granted us a way to communicate with you, and a way to protect the Boscage.”

Sonic’s shoulders slumped, his chin hitting his chest.

Shadow…what have I done to you?

#unceremoniously knocks the rust of my creative writing skills #it’s been like the worst week of my life so i am coping by putting shadow in a jar and shaking him around #i didn’t know how to write either windthrow or metal windthrow so i just. didn’t lol sorry #might make a part 2 with the specific stuff the plants say to shadow after they like. fully possess him #so if you want a part 2 lmk :) #and thank you lovelyn! your au is awesome :D #also tagging boom fanfic a latta bc it was her ask that inspired me to write this so thank you :) #side note i don’t rly know how to format fanfic on tumblr lol :P #sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime #shadow the hedgehog #jackassery #son1c #tenya

[pyjamacryptid]

I’m trying soooo hard not to rant to my friends about unfortunately common writing conceptions but I remember that I was once studying to become a literal editor, so I feel justified for a second, and then I’m back to staying my hand because this soap box feels like a face reveal! The face of pretension!!!! Lmao!!!

#I know I’m thinking myself in circles!!!! #aksjsksj #I hadn’t thought of editing (writing) as a career until my creative writing teacher came up to me after class #and was like hey… kid…. you wanna do what you were doing all class for your classmates while making a living?? #and I was like 👀? #anyway that likely won’t happen now and I’m much happier with my current studies #but studying it or not it’s because I CANNOT TURN OFF WHEN I READ #I AM UNABLE TO!!!! #it’s about the rhythm of sentences!! pacing!!! #EMOTIONAL pacing too!!! #the tonal difference between minute changes in syntax!!!! #I’m so passionate about it and opinionated wjdjekd #I both want to go on a rant about it and hide lmaooo #anyway #writing #creative writing #ren rambles #ren rants #ren keeps hovering her foot over the soap box and doing a walk away and then a spin back to the box and then back again and

[brontes]

how it was supposed to be...

rosalie hale

#rosalie hale #twilight #the twilight saga #twilightsagaedit #tts #my edit #I am back from the dead because I'm not doing graphic design work right now #so my creative muscles aren't overstrained and angry #also I licherally cannot listen to this song without thinking about rose #like she is the girl who got frozen! #her life was ruined before it froze but like !!! not in her memory! #in her memory she is still perched at the edge of her great triumph! #of her launch into society at the top! riding the wave of her beauty into love and ease and adoration!

[the-pianist-from-accumula-town]

Not so messy sketchies! Featuring Carrie in 80's inspired fashion.

#welcome home #welcome home oc #carrie caramel #I am back! I needed a vacation to recover from the other vacation lol #Carrie and the café have a heavy 80's aesthetic inspiration + sweets and candy #her hair is fluffy like whipped cream/marshmallow and her red dress is supposed to resemble a cup #I'm out of creative juice these days #by the way - the top outfit is Barbie's swimsuit in the first scene of the movie #I like drawing her - she's great pose practice

[starflungwaddledee]

hello!! its me!! in your inbox again!! Ive gotta know: what kind of thought went into Starstucks design? do you have any beta designs, early sketches, or has she always been so cute?!

HELLOOoooooo yesssss quality asks from moonie!!!! i am always so excited!!! i'll pop this under a cut because it got long, but the short answer is: sadly i'm boring and predictable 😂

i am SO embarrassed to tell you that very little thought went into her design, at least on any sort of... cerebral level. the reason for this is because she is my sona, though she does now have a story of her own, and i personally have an extremely rigid set of personal iconography! both irl and online

i joked with my gf and some friends who know me beyond kirby that if you knew me outside of here you would spot me a mile off because my aesthetics for sonas or personal representation have been rock-solid consistent for almost a decade!

i'm always pink and cream and ice blue, always have star themes, always have grey-blue/pink eyes, always have freckles (often white constellations) over big pink cockatiel cheeks, and always have huge bows 😂 also often i have flower crowns but she avoided this by being All Head. i did accessorise her festive outfit though!

so really... she couldn't have looked much different to how she does. i did add the stars on the bottom of her feet (hidden stars are a typical design choice for me tho) and the heart shaped face marking after drawing her a few times on the blog! i just thought the heart shaped marking added a little interest at the time, especially above the eyes; maybe because i was used to drawing bandee who's bandana covers that top edge of his face marking!

now that some time has passed, of course parts of her design tie into her lore in fun ways ("oh she has stars on her feet!" "what makes the constellations on her cheeks move!" "wow her bow looks a bit like wi-!!"), but that was entirely unexpected when i designed her. i never intended to develop her as much as she has been because the interest from others was frankly so unexpected; but i'm having a total blast doing it!

i also chose a waddle dee rather than any of the other aliens on offer because i personally tend to just... feel pretty average! not impressive or significant enough to be a knight or a puffball or anything like that! waddle dees resonate with me, they're just easily spooked little critters with zero defensive mechanisms doing their best and i can relate to that

though i suppose that it's now rather clear that starstruck is not an average waddle dee, if one at all.. so i guess time will tell

sorry if this is a bit of a let down 😅 the unfortunate answer is that she's based on Me and how i look/feel/dress/etc irl. my hair is that shade of pink. i have an exceptionally comprehensive collection of flower crowns and comedically oversized bows. i am very small and very round. i do have intensive freckles in constellation patterns. sadly, alas, my eyes are only grey-blue. so there was only ever so many variations she'd be able to draw on from my rigid set of aesthetics haha!

#embarrassing to admit this to kirbyfandom's number 1 oc enjoyer and also such an incredibly dedicated oc designer wauhghh. #honestly all your work is SO incredible moonie. i could stare at your designs forever they are so precise and intentional and i adore it #perhaps starstruck'll have an alternate form of some kind in the future... though it would likely have many persistent aesthetics still #maybe if i designed a totally new character that wasn't a sona i'd be more creative and thoughtful about it! 😅 #but i am kind of unmotivated to do that atm! i think i'd like to develop starstruck in full & draw other peoples ocs with her instead #asks #starstruck dee #starflungs process tag #<- even though zero process was used lmao

[hershelwidget]

FOLKS. I BEAR THE THING

IT TOOK A FULL WEEK TO MAKE THIS GODFORSAKEN SHIP IN PONYTOWN BYE

#octonauts #the octopod #pony town #i had to get extremely creative bc the ship. as much as i love her. has the most BAFFLING structure i've ever laid witness to #do NOT even ASK about the HALLWAYS i did NOT HAVE THE ROOM FOR THAT NONSENSE #AND DON'T ASK ABOUT THE HQ EITHER OK I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT IT WAS THE HARDEST PART. LAUNCH BAY BEING A CLOSE SECOND #i had the most fun with the rec room which is fitting bc it Is The Fun Room #bedrooms gave me headache trying to figure out bc ponytown works in a very specific way that the bedrooms (and every other room) #DO NOT AGREE WITH. hEL #couldn't even register i was working on the kitchen until it was done and i looked at it and was like ''oh. that's there now'' #laboratory library and medbay were just kinda !! happening. no major opinions with them i just made them and perhaps had fun with it #garden looks the most like Every Other Island in this game which i dunno how to feel about but whatever #and I am just going to PRETEND that the bubble engine room exists. we're going to pretend <33

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

nothing like a call from your mother to make that escapism feel extra sweet

#oops vent post Look Away Look Away i am once again bleeding all over my blog #ohhhhh boy am i gonna get Creatively Active tonight #we love to see my living situation crash and burn oh boy oh boy #i get three more months and then!!! back into the fire i go! #and the frying pan was just starting to get cozy.... #well! time to brush up on my masking and acting skills #absolutely unprompted #yknow it was actually funny #i went on a walk right after that call #and it felt like i was in a fucking movie. symbolism was ever #literally stood and stared at the 'no connection' street sign for a solid two minutes #feeling the Irony #then a black cat stopped and stared at me from down the road? #and a hummingbird flew over to look me in the eye?? #walked under an apple tree but every single apple was rotting??? #a fly decided to land on me for a split second and then flew away? felt Ominous #didnt see a raven though so thats a plus. or a minus. im not superstitious and i love ravens #plus side of being forced to move: i get to keep both of my cats and ill no longer be in this damn state. #negatives: living with my mom. her boyfriend. two dogs. in a state i strongly dislike. with no positive connections. in a basement. #its gonna be so fun! (sarcastic. lying. said through gritted teeth) #agh sorry sorry #once again treating tumblr like my personal diary #just. sigh. #well if i get a job right away and save up #maybe ill be able to find somewhere with roommates! #people my ageish! fellow queers perhaps! somewhere welcoming #where i can relax and feel Understood and perhaps even content with being alive #where i have room to not just force the love of existence but truly Feel it #i have hope! i have hope... i am miserable but one day! i may not be! #ive waited and survived this long! ill make it! i will fucking make it i swear to god

[pastafossa]

I had a hilarious TRT-related hiccup earlier today when I was seeing a museum with a friend who was in the area.

So we met up, and she and her partner hop into my car. Naturally, I have some music playing softly in the background, specifically the official TRT playlist cause I wasn't thinking and had Matt and Jane on the brain. And after a few songs, as we're driving to the museum and chatting, she, in clearly somewhat puzzled tone, is like, 'what is this you're listening to?' because there's a really random assortment of styles on there thanks to recs from me, all ya'll, my sis, and spotify itself.

And my brain... stalls.

Because these people in the car are Friends but not Fanfic Friends and neither of them even know what fanfiction is. And any explanation will potentially launch a cascading wave of further fanfic explanations until I'm eventually discussing Star Trek slash back in Ye Olden Fandom Times (TM) or knowing me going further back to Dante's Divine Comedy in the 1300s, which was not a powerpoint presentation we had time for. Yet, 'yes this is a 9 hour playlist put together by me and a bunch of readers of my stuff, and by stuff I mean a really long free story I've written based on a tv show simply because I am obsessed, no I do not know all of them personally but we all talk regularly and they bring me songs for the fic sometimes like cats laying birds at the feet of their humans only instead of feeling shock and horror I am delighted and have collected them for the past 3 years and that is why my playlist is gloriously broad in style and scope' is also likely to launch us into explanations we do not have time for. Lying never occurs to me.

"Um. Uh. This is... It's... some... friends who read some of my online work and made a playlist about it."

Her, in the tone that says she knows I'm full of shit and keeping an entire novel series of information to myself: "Oh. That sounds nice."

Nailed it.

You're all my friends now, it's official.

#the red thread #you can't get me talking about fanfiction because then i'm going to turn it into a presentation #and that car ride was 8 minutes long we did not have time for my dissertation #which would have led to explanations of fanfic as well as why i have for now written 900k words and am headed to 1 mill #and also likely her asking 'are you ok' as i froth wildly about matt murdock and what he means to me #but also about LOVING ALL YA'LL and the ART and the MUSIC and then general segue into my love for the creative community #that is twined into fandom itself #WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. TIME. #so instead you were all just a couple friends who read a lil thing of mine and made me a nice lil playlist that is somehow 9 hours long #FUN FACT THE AVERAGE READ TIME FOR TRT IS 37 HOURS AND SO THE PLAYLIST WILL BE WITH YOU FOR 24% OF IT BEFORE LOOPING

[vampyrsm]

?? brother. am i just so uncreative because why is a huge part of the cor unum storyline implemented into Shogun

#LMAO LIKE HELLO? #THE FATHERS SWORD? AND ITS NOW HER TURN? #either i have zero creativity or i am just very understanding of how samurai are

[haemosexuality]

marceline has the best drip in adventure time so i decided i want to, draw all her looks ig. or at least all the ones i like. im excited to see how many i do before giving up (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)

#she only has 1 tattoo bc im not creative enough to come up w stuff shwirhwkrh #having to come up w different piercings for her ears is already hard enough #i am not putting that much effort into these lol that would take too long also im lazy #and am doing this for fun #adventure time #marceline abadeer #my art #i like giving her horns #while being mad that im not creative enough to come up w tattoos i came up w the hc that she cant get tattoos bc of super healing #like w piercings theres a piece of metal there so the skin cant heal itself until it comes out #but w tattoos the ink just gets squirted out #she got that one before being turned #it took like 2 years since she was. living in the post apocalypse #yeah 👍 crisis averted #EDIT. I WROTE THAT TAG BEFORE FIONNA AND CAME CAME OUT LMAO HOW THE FUCK DID I GUESS THAT #edit again i think these tags arent long enough yet so imma add all the eps the outfits r from #in order (after the standard one): #henchman #it came from the nightosphere #come with me #heat signature #memory of a memory #what was missing #marcelines closet #daddy's little monster

[cassynite]

.

#cassy bitches #i am. so fucking tired and annoyed and stressed #our fucking shower hasn't worked in two weeks bc my parter decided to remodel and then didnt finish the job! #and now her fucking sibling fucked up our dishwasher and it leaked water EVERYWHERE including apparently under the floorboards #and im pretty sure i can smell black mold in the kitchen now which! great! another nightmare we're gonna have to fix ourselves #since we cant afford to get a contractor and even if we could no one ever returns our calls when we do try to hire someone #AND my friend went to surgery for appendicitis and that's freaking me out #and ON TOP of that ive been creatively juiced out and feeling like shit about the things i make and my ocs and like. me #like everyone's just been secretly tolerating me all this time and if i disappear no one's going to notice #i feel like nothing i make or am doing is worthwhile and im just GROSS and ANGRY and ANNOYING #and even complaining in tags on a post makes me feel like a whiny baby like. there are wars etc why am i complaining boo hoo #so i cant even talk to people about how i feel bc it makes me so ashamed that im feeling this way to begin with #ive been resisting the urge to just delete everything at this point bc then at least i wont have the urge to check everything and feel wors #why does awful shit always happen right around my birthday. why am i cursed like this