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bonny-kookoo · 3 years

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Ready Player 01 | JJK x Reader | 🔞❤️☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: dystopia!AU, former Game developer!Jk, former pro gamer!JK, former IT specialist!Reader, former programmer!Reader, romance, Smut, slight cyberpunk elements

Warnings/tags: injustice, forcefully controlled public, violence (police/government officials against citizens), unfair powerplay, interrogation, tech talk, Jungkook be antisocial as FUCK but so is the reader lmao wbk, fear of physical contact (Haphephobia), past trauma and mentions of a bad childhood, insomnia, crime, smut because yes it’s me hello my content isn't kiddy-proof in the first place what yall want from me I'm not sure, but that’s waaY at the end ya know, friends to lovers, a slightly sassy AI but we love her, reader struggles with emotions, I mean same tbh, they're both so sweet tho I cant, not proofread because let me live

Summary: there’s a war going on; silent, but it’s there. Media has been strictly become controlled and regulated- to the point of making it illegal to own a TV or phone with internet access without a valid license. But there’s always some people that will try to break free from the controlling force.

"-a new age. This is a new year. And remember; we're doing this for the greater good. Until tomorrow." The news reporter stops talking after she somberly looks somewhere behind the camera that is pointed at her.

Your room is dark- the TV brightness on it's lowest setting so you can see what's going on- but outside, no one can see the light shining in your tiny apartment. Investing in blackout curtains had really paid off at the end of the day.

You don't want to get caught.

There's an announcement van driving past your window; the tiny slits in your curtains where the light from outside can creep its way inside brightening a bit as the headlights pass your windows. Something is spoken, and by now everyone knows the routine speech.

"Electricity will be shut down in five minutes. We advice to save all progress immediately- and we wish a good nights rest. Electricity will be shut down in five minutes..-" It repeats, over and over, counting down the minutes. You slowly move into your kitchen, opening one of the loose floor tiles to turn on your own emergency electricity system. With well practiced movements you close the tile again, moving the rug over it as you walk back into your living room, swiftly sliding the TV behind your wardrobe to make it disappear. As if on cue; there's a knock at your door.

The same as always. Routine. Two times, loud and clear. You don't even have to look through the peephole to know what awaits behind it.

"Yes?" You ask, rubbing your eyes as if you had been already asleep. The officer behind the door nods at you shortly, a mild smile on his face as he looks down at you.

"We didn't mean to wake you miss. Just routine, as usual." He says, peeking into your apartment to look for any electronics still running. It's pitch black however- so he simply nods, as his colleague notes something into his tablet. "We wish a good nights rest miss. Again, sorry for intruding." He apologizes, and you nod, closing the door.

Only when the street lights turn dark, do you move from your bed.

"Creator." The AI voice chimes up, her voice greeting you as as you lift the tile on the floor again- your phone connecting to the AI to show information you instantly decode and note down inside your head. "Player01 has just connected." The voice states, and you sit down on your cold kitchen flooring, smiling a little. "He has sent a message. Would you like me to play it?" The voice asks, and you take a deep breath.

"Yes." You say, and there's a small sound indicating the start of the voice message. A male voice is head.

"Hey, whats up?" He asks, and you can hear something in the background- maybe an empty can or something similar. "I uh.. I'm on my way. Should I bring anything? Ah wait, I know the answer to that.." He says, chuckling at the end of his sentence, and you can hear him zip up his jacket as he moves around. "Yeah uh.. just text or something, I'll bring stuff over. Can't have you starve." He ends, and the AI speaks up again.

"Would you like to repeat the message?" She asks, and you shake your head at her; a signal the artificial intelligence has come to detect quite well. "Should I archive it?" She questions again, and this time, you nod- something your invisible assistant can pick up due to motion sensoring.

"Send him a message." You say. "Tell him: I only need you. Get yourself here in one piece and I'm happy. And I'm very capable of taking care of myself." You state, and your phone shows a small loading message- indicating that the voice is doing as you said. It chimes up after a moment. "Thanks Kana." You say.

"No problem creator. Would you like for me to run through the databases now?" She asks, and you nod, a smile on your face. "Database search in progress. Estimated time: sixteen minutes and eighteen seconds." You huff out a breath as you look at the tiny display on your arm; tiny, yet powerful as it's your way of keeping Kana- your AI assistent- close at all times. Tonight, there would seem to be a lot to dig through.

They really added a lot of content these days.

It's not the door that makes you notice that there's a visitor after a while- He never uses it anyways for some reason. You're sitting on your kitchen floor with a small cup of tea in your hands- kept hot inside a slightly beaten-looking thermos can since you can't use to water boiler at night. Using anything other than Kana would cause a spike the police would be sure to notice; and you're not ready to get caught yet.

Not tonight.

It's a boy who, after a moment, opens the unclosed kitchen window to climb in; his combat boots getting a little snow and dirt from the outside into your apartment as his 80's looking jacket makes distinctive noises as it brushes against the sides of your window. His blonde hair has grown out a bit these days you notice- the roots clearly showing. It's a little wet and slightly curly from the moisture. It must be snowing outside- or maybe it had. You couldn't know for sure.

You never left your apartment.

He closes the window after slipping on the tiles inside a little, the plastic bags noisy as he almost drops them- sheepishly taking off his boots as he smiles at you. His socks are different from one another- but that's another thing so distinctive and just so.. him. He's his own person, always has been; it's what brought you two together, after all. You both stood out against the 'regular public' these days; with his brightly almost white-bleached hair he was like an albino in a sea of crows.

But you knew he didn't need that to stand out to you.

You can still remember the first few times the boy in front of you has visited you; the times where he had just dyed his hair to rebel out, or when he pierced your ears in exchange for you to do it to him as well. It was like you had made a blood pact in your kitchen that night- you had somehow gotten closer, formed a little more than just a simple companionship in order to riot against the law. He began growing close. Gave you a nickname. Began calling you his player 2. Began calling you his 'ace'. He had explained that he thought of it from memories of his gaming days; the two fighting teams always called red and blue, and one of his favorite weapons having that nickname- simply because it always 'saved his ass last minute'. He had rambled on about his last tournament after that, eyes sparkling and cheeks round from cold noodles.

You had become friends.

"hey." He says after sitting close across from you on the cold floor; the opened tile and Kana's core exposed to you two, the only source of light apart from your bracelet. The colorful LED's paint marks on his face and illuminate his features to you; but it does the same to you from his point of view. It's a familiar sight. "How are you?" He asks, almost shyly, but you know that's not what's bothering him.

"Hey Jungkook." You simply say with the hint of a smile, as you answer him. "Haven't slept well these days but, what's new I guess." You chuckle, and Jungkook smiles too- though a glimpse of concern is still shown your way. He knows however that forcing you to sleep won't do much good- your insomnia was too bad to really conquer it in a day or two just by taking naps.

And also; who was he to talk about solving personal issues.

"Have you seen the most recent reports?" You ask him, and the boy somberly shakes his head.

"I was unable to." He states. "They were patrolling close to my apartment complex because there had been someone reporting a Glitcher today." A 'glitcher'- a slang word now commonly used for people like Jungkook and you. People who went against the nightly routines, people who tried to trick the system by using electricity at night, owning media, consuming it, or dealing with it. It somehow became worse than underground drugs. "They pulled him out at around twelve or so- but they seemed too on edge the entire day, so I didn't risk it." He says, and you nod. Jungkook had always been a very good person when it came to calculating risk versus reward. He was good at reading people too- even though he didn't interact much, he got out of his apartment a lot more than you did. "Anything important?" He asks, and you shrug.

"There was a report that China and Japan were still on edge- with the chinese government arguing that they would soon start with 'more drastic measures to get things under proper control', whatever that means." You say, and Jungkooks brows furrow as he starts to pick on the skin of his jaw. "Let's just hope the flood doesn't throw us under the sea as well if it escalates I guess.." You say, and the boy across from you nods.

"Creator." Kana's voice chimes up, making Jungkook look up before remembering that the only source would be your bracelet, which you look at as well. "My scan of your body shows that you have not consumed a sufficient amount of calories today. I recommend a meal in the next five to eight minutes to avoid malnutrition." She says, and you groan. "I take this as a form of verbal communication. Running data search..." She says, as Jungkook looks at you; thoroughly amused by the teasing banter between the AI and his friend. "My data search concludes that you are annoyed, creator. I have only stated a fact however-" She continues, and Jungkook steps in.

"I've brought some leftovers from my dinner today we can eat." He says, pulling out some plastic containers as he moves to get proper cutlery out of your drawers. He makes sure to push them towards you, making sure to nod with a smile as you nod and thank him a little embarrassed. "It's nothing. You know I love you too much to let you starve!" He states with a grin, bunny teeth on full display as bitterness creeps up your throat- something you make sure to swallow down before beginning to eat.

Because the kind of love he's talking about right now, is not the kind of love you want him to feel for you.

"You forgot to give it a proper validation there-" He points out as you type away. "Otherwise it will just run instantly, and everything at once. That could crash older systems, and we know that V95 uses an older laptop, so we should take that into account." He says, and you nod, clicking back to the spot Jungkook is talking about.

This is what you're both good for.

Writing code for you had always been something you did with a passion- simply because you were good at it. Numbers and short phrases were something you could remember with ease; but you never had to think much about the visual aspect of programs in your department back when you were able to work for a simple programming company. You had simply always been tasked to program security systems and automatically updating firmware, or simple AI's for factory robots. Jungkook however had been all about the visuals; he had been programming games after all. That's why you two fit so well together in this scene. Whenever he would be in complete awe of the broad knowledge you had about official guidelines and security breaches, of staying undetected and unseen while still gaining as much as possible from every single line of code, he could always throw in his input to make sure the program you were both writing and updating for the glitch community was easy to use and simple enough so it could run smoothly on as many systems as possible. Be it phone, laptops, PC's- you two made it possible.

This program was connecting Glitchers all over the globe- and with yours and Jungkooks knowledge, you made it almost invisible. And even if it was somehow detected; there was no possible way to track down any of it's users.

The fact that you had to hide a simple program from the government made you sigh.

"Okay. Yeah I think that fixed the bug." He says, and looks at your arm- at Kana. "Oh, by the way, Kana?" he asks, and the chime gives him the cue to talk. "I heard you had a bug-fix too recently." He says, and the AI chimes again.

"I did, Player01." The AI answers. "The addition of code to my current program has proven to significantly increase my ability to observe and save more data." The female voice answers, and Jungkook grins. "You are happy, Player01." She states, and he nods.

"I am." He says.

"Why is that?" The AI asks, and Jungkook shrugs.

"I'm just happy you're doing well. Someone has to take care of ace when I'm not close by, yeah?" He states, and you try not to react to it. Jungkook is by now used to your more stoic expression; you're not too emotional and barely let things get under your skin. You've been hurt before, he knows this even if you never told him- he can see it in the way you hide inside the safety of your home, how you're so cold on the outside but still clinging onto him. Sometimes he wishes he could touch you; run his hand over your head to ruffle your hair like in those cheesy movies, hold your hand, or simply give you some reassurance in the form of a gentle hand on your back whenever you struggle.

But he's got his own demons, and they love clinging onto him just as much.

"V95 has connected to voice chat. Would you like to talk to him?" Kana states, ripping him out of his thoughts as he watches you nod.

"JK? Y/N?" A deep voice asks.

"We're here. Heard there was a raid close to you?" Jungkook asks, and he can see you grow a bit more serious at that. "Are you okay?" He adds, and V answers, although quite.. tired?

"I'm good. They got Jimin though." He states, and you sigh, running a hand through your hair as you stand up, frustrated. Jungkook knows you're trying to calm down by pacing. He doesn't mind. "They didn't officially arrest him, took him for 'questioning' though. We know what that's about." He states somberly, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"Jimin is a master manipulator V. He'll get himself out of it, I'm sure." Jungkook tries to reassure, but it doesn't gain him much than a hum from Taehyung on the other end of the line. "What about Sleeper?" He asks, and a chuckle is heard.

"He's been checking the videofeed from inside the past few nights. He said he's send some of the big bites to Ace though?" He says, and Jungkook looks over at your form.

"Yeah I've seen it." You simply say, though Jungkook grows uncomfortable with the way you're suddenly standing there. You're a little hunched, biting the skin on your thumb as you look at the tiles as if they suddenly began to move. He knows himself that things inside the 'rehabilitation centers' weren't all that nice to see- but you rarely ever displayed so much distress over it. "Let's just hope Jimin get's his ass out of this situation. We can't afford to loose him." You say, and V stays silent before he sighs.

"Yeah. I tell sleeper you've seen the stuff. Oh, and our prince charming has asked for a date with Ace. Again." Taehyung chuckles, and you groan- while Jungkook can't help but clench his jaw. Kim Seokjin was a very good asset to the team; with connections reaching deep inside the government and his position as a former lawyer- but he still hated his guts.

You didn't need to waste your time dating. You were totally capable of taking care of yourself, you had even said it personally! And for anything else Jungkook would provide for you. You didn't need anyone else than him.

He was totally not jealous of him.

"Can he not use our underground connections for that circus?" You say. "I don't even go grocery shopping, why would I want to go on a fucking date?" You mumble, sitting down next to Jungkook as you take a spoonful of rice. Jungkook feels a weird sense of satisfaction about the situation.

"Who knows." Taehyung says. "Alright, 10 Minute mark- I'll hear from you two soon. Take care." He says, and you both say your goodbyes before the line goes silent.

Although Jungkook hates physical contact, he likes keeping you close.

His heart is melting like chocolate as he notes the way your hand grips his jacket tightly as the two of you walk through town to get your license renewed- a way of holding onto him, and he somehow wishes it could be his hand. He knows yours would fit so perfectly in his, and yet he can't bring himself to do it.

His body is not cooperating.

He remembers vividly how his fear had developed; with his father and mother both being dramatically overworked and overwhelmed with having a kid at a young age, they had no idea how to make a child behave. Every second touch would bruise, every time he had been held would be force.

And at some point, he started to dislike physical touch completely.

It had just been like his growing interest in freelance climbing- the way he would walk and jump high over the heads of unsuspecting people, away from all judgemental gazes they'd throw his way for behaving the way he did. Only when the wind could hit him freely, only when he couldn't make out faces of anyone down below, only when he was high up- that was when he felt safe. The ground below had nothing of interest for him, no point in going down, as his apartment was located on the top floor of the complex. Jungkook never took the elevator, always the stairs.

He liked being reminded how high he lived.

And yet, there's one thing that pulls him down, brings his feet to the earth below, calls him like a siren song. It's you, hidden away from everyone's sight inside your tiny home, just as troubled and judged as himself.

He'd fallen in love with you the second you told him his name.

It had been a rainy night, his clothes drying on your heater as he was wrapped in two of your blankets; the smell of your fabric softener and something so typically you surrounding him like a mother's hug would a child. It had given him a feeling of comfort he had never quite experienced before, and it had also been the first time he had imagined what it would be like to hug you.

To have you close.

He had explained to you why he had freaked out when you reached for his arm to steady him when he almost fell inside your apartment through your window; had apologized and bowed his head in shame until you had simply shrugged.

"You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, Jungkookie." You had said. Jungkookie. "You're you. And I like you." You had said, not looking at him as you typed in some code to Kana's internal system.

His heart had warmed up at that.

And while you had accepted him, he had accepted you just as much. While at first caught off guard by your quiet and sometimes harsh way of treating him, he had also gotten to know just how gentle and delicately you treated the ones you loved. You were a loyal person, always going out of your way to be helpful, and silently basking in praise any time it was directed at you.

He loved that view. The way your cheeks would grow warm, how your eyes would sparkle; and he loved most of all, that he had been, according to Taehyung who was the second closest to you, the only one to see you smile.

You even laughed with him.

It filled him with pride to know that you were able to let go around him, even if it was just a little. It made him feel like he did something huge. It helped him sleep at night knowing that you were trusting him enough to let down your guard a little.

And it hurt him even worse knowing that he couldn't do the same thing for you.

He was a coward-

and you deserved a hero.

"Ace?" He asked, slipping through your window as he noticed the apartment silent and dark. Nothing greeted him. "..Ace?" He tried again, maybe you were asleep? But your apartment was quiet, empty, nothing spoke of your presence. Dishes were in the sink, a cup of water left untouched on the counter, and something inside of him churned painfully at the way this looked. He checked the kitchen tile, sliding it to the side like he's seen you do it countless of times.

It was dark.

Instead, he was greeted by a post it note. "Underneath the bed. Take care." Was all it read. He stood up, pushing your bed away from the wall noticing how your carpet had been torn a little. And as he lifted the cut flap of carpet, there was an envelope.

Your watch. A small in-ear piece, and your old IT-identification, folded.

A noise outside your hallway made his head snap up as he pushed the bed back into place, making an escape for it as he climbed outside the window, watch safely inside his jacket as he climbed back up on top of a building, before he examined it further, turning it on, after putting the earpiece in.

"Hello, Jungkook." Kana greeted him, and it felt weird to hear the AI say his name like that. "Creator has advised me to answer all questions you might have, and assist you from here on." She said, and Jungkook simply put the watch on, making his way to his own apartment.

"What happened?" He asked, his face serious as he walked.

"At around 6:12 O'clock, creator was taken into further questioning regarding illegal possession and knowledge of classified information and technological equipment. She had shown no resistance and complied with authorities. My observations however showed that she was taken with more force than necessary." Kana explained. Jungkook shook his head. "She had prepared for this instance during the night, approximately twenty-six minutes after you had left."

"She knew?!" He suddenly said, shutting his apartment door violently as he started to pace around, throwing his jacket on the couch. "Why didn't she contact me?"

"Analysis; your body shows signs of-" Kana started, but Jungkook interrupted.

"Shut up. Why didn't she tell me?" He asks again, and Kana seems to hesitate for a moment.

"Considering her close relationship to you, she probably wanted to not get you involved." She stated, and Jungkook sighed, sitting down on his couch as he gripped his hair. He should've stayed. Hell, it wasn't the first time he wanted to stay. He had dreamed of staying over, of fucking living with you for months to no end by now, but he was a coward. And this was his paycheck.

"Kana." He said lowly, and the small tune gave him the cue to talk. "Contact V95. Tell him it's urgent. We got an emergency." He says.

"I can't watch this." He says, jumping up and holding onto his head as to not punch his wall, unable to go through the videofeed of your interrogation room.

There's not much to see, but Jungkook knows that's simply because they haven't had the time to see to you yet. You and him knew best what really happened in these rooms, and he hated knowing that deep down they wouldn't go easy on you simply because you were a young woman. It didn't matter to them.

He'd seen teenagers way younger than you and him getting the rough treatment before- and elderly didn't get spared either.

The government bragged about having everything in order; yet they couldn't even control their own law enforcement it seemed. When he really thought back on his history lessons in school, not much had changed at all.

The world was still in utter chaos.

His palm shuts his laptop harshly- earning a tiny chime from the AI he’s already forgotten shares his home with him now. “I suggest that you practice care in treating your electronics to-“ he groans, successfully shutting it off at that. “Why are you frustrated?” It- she? Asks, and he sits down.

“I don’t know how to help her.” He admits in shame, thinking back to the footage of your hidden camera; the way they had pushed you to the ground, before grabbing you, leading you out of your apartment a few minutes away from him. “I don’t know what I should do.” He says.

There’s a bit of silence, until the AI speaks up again. “Do you have a romantic interest in my creator?” She asks, and his head snaps up at that.

“What the fuck? Why would you ask me this?!” He barks, unsure where to look since he can only hear the voice.

“I have observed both my creator and your behaviors; you seem to have a very deep rooted interest in each others well-being and opinions. This is commonly found in partnerships. I was only asking you to confirm if my assumption is correct.”

He’s silent for a moment, until he speaks again, watching the announcement van pass his window; voices dull and unintelligible though the walls and windows. “It’s no use anyways. Who wants someone they can’t even shake hands with?” He sighs, looking into his lap again. He hates that he’s like this; that even though he very much loves and adores you, there’s no magic moment that makes him forget- even though he craves the contact, he can’t do it. Every time he’s close to you, he knows that he could simply hug you; or let you rest your head on his shoulder, like in romantic movies. He wants to hold your hand, wipe your tears- but his body won’t cooperate. He can’t do it.

Not even with you.

“Creator seems very comfortable with you.” The AI states. “I have been asked to archive all text messages and phone calls of you two recently. When I asked for a reason, she claimed she would need it someday- I was unsure what she meant.” Jungkook furrows his brow, raising his head again. “Sometimes, when creator is deeply upset, she has the habit of playing some of the recordings of you singing, or reminding her to take care. My research has shown that it slows down her heartbeat to a more normal level and also improves her insomnia.” Jungkooks eyes widen at that.

Does that mean.. that you like him back?

"Kana, fuck- cut the feed." He says, agitated.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and he sighs, before yelling his frustration out, sitting down to take a deep breath. He slowly shook his head no. He couldn't let all your hard work go to waste like this.

He couldn't stay a coward.

"Jungkook, it appears to be that the creator is being let go." Kana suddenly chimes up, and Jungkook rushes to his pc setup to see for himself. And she's right- your arm is being held tightly, and something is being said to you, but your hands are no longer chained to the chair- you're free.

What just happened?

Jungkook sometimes really hates himself for being the way he is.

There's no sugarcoating it that you need comfort now more than ever, even though you don't openly show it to him. He can see it in the way you're still biting your nails, he can see it in your eyes which never stay on one point for too long. And he can definitely see it in the bruises on your upper arm, and the cut on your lower lip where you had bitten in anger and frustration. He wants to comfort you, he knows you'd let him- and yet he can't move any closer than where he is right now; only the length of his palm of space between you two. And yet it's like his joints are locked into place. He can't touch you.

What if he hurts you?

And it dawns on him right then and there while he watches you drink your can of overly sweet soda while typing your code like second nature, that he's not scared of you hurting him. He's scared of doing to you, what's been done to him. Because deep down he is aware that his parents never had bad intentions, never hated him or wanted him to suffer; they were simply unsure and not at all confident in how to really care for a child. They had been caught off guard and gotten overwhelmed by the sudden shift in their situation that they never truly knew what to do. And nowadays he felt like he was simply heading down the same road.

He was starting to feel like he was becoming just like them.

"Hm?" You ask him, ripping him out of his thoughts as he looks at you, your eyes wide and worried as you put down your almost empty can of soda. "What is it?" You ask him, and he wants to scream. He wants to throw a fit like a child at the way you seem to worry for him every time you should worry for yourself. He's a coward, he's useless, he's everything you don't need nor deserve in his eyes, and yet you always look at him like he's the main character of your favorite movie.

If he was, he was sure he'd be merely a sidekick- because you deserved to be the focus of every story told in his eyes. And if you weren't included in the tale, he knew he didn't want to ever know about it.

He swallows, before he manages to make his hand move, finger pointing at your arm where a green-ish bruise already formed. "Does it hurt?" He asks, and he's not even sure if he's asking you about the bruise, of if he's asking something else. He doesn't know what he's saying, doesn't even know if he's asking you or himself.

"No." You answer, and he looks at you, searching for any hint of a lie in your eyes. But he only sees that slight smile, lips turned a little, almost unnoticeable. But its there, he can see it, and he wants to print it into his mind to never forget it. You were so observant, knew him so well, that he was almost certain you knew of his inner fight and what he really meant with his blurted out question. "Are you okay?" You ask him, and he swallows again, eyes stinging with unshed tears as his body grows rigid like an unoiled machine, only moving with as much force as he can manage to come up with. His breathing is heavy as his eyes can't leave the spot on your arm, and your watch him with wide eyes as his shaking hand slowly reaches out.

He doesn't know what he expects to really happen.

Maybe like those electric shocks you get when someone had rubbed their socks on a carpet before touching someone else. Maybe he had expected to recoil instantly. Maybe he had expected nothing- but he was suddenly in a rush the moment his fingertip touched your warm skin, delicate, soft, everything his rough hands weren't.

And you were still as prey in front of a wolf.

But the wolf in this scenario was holding his breath while his tears finally fell. He wants to speak, but he can't, he doesn't know how to ask for something when he doesn't even know if he wants it.

But suddenly he moves again, his palm now resting fully against your upper arm, shaking, as it moves over the length of it, softly, as he imprints the way your soft skin feels. "Jungkook.." You whisper out, and he suddenly snaps, leans forward, his legs on either side of your body as he snakes his arms around you from behind, pulling you close to his chest. You can feel him shake as he holds you, his cheek resting against your back and you don't care about his tears staining your shirt as he suddenly cries openly and possibly for the first time since he was a mere child.

He's unsure, overwhelmed, because you're so warm, you smell so nice, you're so soft, and he can't let go, doesn't want to let go. He whines out as you turn a bit as he thinks you're moving away but you're simply placing your legs over his as you sit in his lap, hugging him back as you make sure to give him a gentle squeeze.

He calms down after a long while of simply existing. Of breathing you in, of feeling you. "You're right." He whispers into your neck, and you can't help but shiver, leaning into his hug.

"It doesn't hurt at all."

"You know, I get why you come up here." You comment, as Jungkook makes sure to hold your hand tightly in his, your feet dangling off the edge of the building you're sitting on top of. "It's nice." You say.

He's not listening that well though.

All he can really do is watch your face, illuminated by the neon lights of the city, hair swaying in the wind as you look down below. He doesn't quite know what you two really are, doesn't know how long it will take him to really come out of his shell and give you the love you deserve, but he's trying. He's fighting, he's left his cowardly self behind.

He want's to change.

And not just for you alone, because while he hates seeing you hurt, he knows what you two are doing- what all of you are doing- is for the greater good.

Jungkook hates your ideas sometimes.

Simply because he knows they will work, but also end up with you getting into danger at the end of it. And just like now, all he can do really is hope that you make it out as he keeps a watchful eye on your movements from above, giving you directions via Kana as you sometimes trip and stumble a little.

You're not a very active person; running wasn't really your thing.

Fuck, you were basically a hermit, the most you walked around was from your bedroom into the kitchen!

But then again, sacrifices had to be made somewhere. And Jungkook really admired you; because every time he thought that you had reached your limit, you would face it head first and break through it.

"Ace, try and somehow get to higher ground. They're caging you in from all sides." He urgently tells you as he watches police chase you down the roads, pushing citizens aside to not loose sight of you.

The plan had been simple. Gain all the attention so Taehyung could infect one of the police station's servers with a new worm, giving you all a better and easier access to any data and communication of the area. Jungkook couldn't play the bate well enough; and you had been on their radar already, making you the best option to gain their interest quickly enough.

Although Jungkook hated that part.

"Come on, ah fuck it." He grits out, jumping down to grab a ladder, making his way to a nearby area he could pull you up. There was no way you could reach any of the fire ladders yourself, and by now, things were getting too hot for him to risk anything. "Here!" He barks out, not thinking twice about grabbing your hand and helping you upwards, trying not to worry too much about your heavy breathing. And then there's it.

A pop, loud, followed by another, and another, and another. You're suddenly falling, scraping your knees on the ground below as he can't catch you, too startled by the fact that they had actually decided to shoot to react quick enough. "Fuck!" He says, eyes wide and pupils blown as he looks at you.

"Jungkook, why the fuck aren't you running?!" You yell at him, a scratch on the top of your left cheek as you push his leg away from you- the only thing you can reach. "Go!" You bark again, and he growls out something, before he manages to pull you onto his back, adrenaline not letting his brain process what he's doing.

He can't just leave you.

"Taehyung, get out, Ace has been shot. Whatever was uploaded has to be enough." He says via the in-ear piece, doesn't wait for a response. He still gets it.

"Fuck, what?! Okay okay, I'm out" He says, and Jungkook can only catch a glimpse of the older man leaving the building via the backside entrance. He's only concerned with getting you somewhere safe.

"Urgh." You groan, slowly sitting up on Jungkooks couch. "I mean, I know paintball hurts, but rubber bullets? Jesus.." You complain, while Jungkook looks at you with a dark expression. "What?" You ask him, and he huffs.

"You sound like you haven't almost been killed yesterday." He grimly says, and you shrug. "Stop. I'm serious." He tells you, and you let yourself fall back down onto his couch.

"Whatever. At least we killed their communication." You say, closing your eyes. "Must've at least pissed them off." You say.

"Kana." Jungkook suddenly says, waiting for the familiar sound to tell him she's active. "Shut down for now." He says, and you sit up, hissing instantly at the sudden movement.

"Hey- ah fuck!" You say, as you watch on your bracelet how Kana complies; shutting down. "Why would you do that?" You say in an offended matter, before you grow quiet, watching him go onto his knees in front of you, as he lets his head rest on top of your lap.

"I just want.. you to myself. Just.." He mumbles, and you slowly bring your hand to his hair. "Just for a moment." He says, and you sigh. Jungkook had been under a lot of stress recently, you no doubt being the main cause of most of it recently. So you simply let him be, as he closed his eyes. "Y/N?" He asks suddenly, and you answer him. "I love you." He says, and your body stops moving.

What?

"It's okay if you don't." He says, not moving from his spot, and neither opening his eyes. "I mean it. I only want you to know." He explains further. "Because I.. couldn't fucking live with myself if something happened to you, and I've never told you." He admits, and you can't help but stare at him. Jungkook looked down on himself so much that it was sometimes frustrating to see; simply because you saw him as such an amazing human being with countless talents and beautiful flaws.

You knew you couldn't muster up the strength to actually answer him; not so spontaneously. You weren't that expressive, you couldn't communicate as freely and colorful as he could. All your words seemed black and white to you, mixing into grey and mundane sentences while his words seemed to bloom into the most amazing paintings. He had a way of charming those around him- and he didn't even know.

You slowly leaned down instead, moving his hair to the side as you placed a feather-light kiss to the top of his cheek, close to his eye.

You hoped he would somehow understand you.

And as he moved again, looking at you with eyes that sparkled brighter than any city's skyline ever could, you knew he did.

He'd always understand you, no matter how you communicated with him.

You didn't need words to understand each other.

The shy kiss you two shared, bathed in the purple glow of the neon lights outside his window, spoke enough.

"You should try and sleep." Jungkook tells you, taking away your can of soda as you whine at him. "No buts. Come on, I'll finish this for you." He says, and you let him take over the keyboard of your laptop. It's something you really only let him get away with- anyone else would've probably lost a finger or two trying to touch your work.

You don't trust anyone but him at this point.

"I know that Kana snitched." You comment, as you lean your back against his shoulder. He chuckles. "Can't believe my own creation goes behind my back like that." You mumble, and Jungkook has a light tune to his voice as he speaks.

"Well, it's a good thing though." He tells you. "I worry about you." He says.

"Ugh come on, you know that's not the part I meant." You laugh, and he grins.

"Oh, you mean the part where you listen to my crappy ass singing to help you sleep?" He tells you with a teasing undertone. "No wonder you got insomnia trying to find rest to that." He chuckles, and you playfully hit his thigh.

"Shut up, your voice is nice." You say, and he's glad your eyes are closed, and you can't see him blush.

Somehow, moments like these re-energized him again. Because it proved to him that there was still a piece of that innocent and untainted you inside that thick shell you had put up to protect yourself. And considering that you let him see you like that made his pride grow taller than any of the skyscrapers of his city.

Maybe one day the two of you will have a future together that won't be so difficult and unfair like your current one was. Maybe one day, you both will have changed enough to teach the next generation about what you've overcome.

But then again; living in the moment seemed to fit a lot better in his eyes, as he watched you sleep soundly against his shoulder.

Yeah, this moment was more than enough for now.

The world won't change over night- you both know that. All of you know that. But small things were starting to make a difference here and there; for example, the letter you held towards Jungkook as his eyes widened.

"..and we have officially decided that we no longer want to participate in the case against the defendant. The result of this agreement is that all charges against Y/N L/N have been dismissed and are no longer being investigated." He reads out loud, almost whispering as if saying it too loud could make it a lie. "They let you go?" He asks, and you nod, the small bandaid on your cheek making you look even cuter in his eyes as you shrug.

"Jimin had reached out too. They've let him go home as well." You say. and Jungkook huffs out in disbelief.

After infecting the police station with the worm you had all worked on, you had scared the entire country enough to take a step back from the overall aggressive tone. It wasn't much- but it meant that they knew you were there. You existed, and you were not bowing down.

You were still untamed.

Jungkook smiled brightly as he put the letter down to the side, reaching out to you to pull you onto his lap. He simply holds you for a moment, his lips kissing the skin of your shoulder as if in a trance. "I love you." He tells you, and you smile, squeezing him a bit in your arms. "I really do." He assures you, and you nod.

You don't answer him, and he doesn't seem to mind as he leans back from you, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins, hands holding your face so delicately as he places a kiss onto your lips, making you close your eyes as he breaks away from you, letting you rest your head against his shoulder.

He's still not letting anyone very physically close other than you; he's still scared of going out and around like everyone else. You're still rather hiding inside his apartment- both of your apartment now- and you still have trouble sleeping.

But Jungkook keeps the nightmares away.

And you make him brave in exchange.

It's really weird to hear the sound of a radio nowadays.

Things are still far from normal- but recently, citizens had been given radios to listen to public broadcast again. It only played crappy music with some rare good tracks here and there, but it was better than nothing.

Jungkook couldn't help but think that your breathless voice was far more entertaining than any music station he can remember from his youth.

While he hates touching other people, even friends and family, he can't help but feel a rush whenever he touches you.

His hands can't stop on one specific spot, can't seem to stay still even for a moment as his lips nip and suck at the flesh of your neck and shoulder, marking what's his, visualizing that you really belong to him. He bears the same mark on his collarbone from last night, and he should have been satisfied, but even an early morning couldn't keep him away from you.

The rain hit the window harshly, but he didn't notice at all. All his eyes could see was your form underneath him, skin glowing as he moves above you, euphoria filling his veins as he can't look away from where you're connected, where his cock disappears inside of you over and over and over again.

"I love you." He breathes out as he comes undone, holding you close, resting his head against your shoulder, as you hold onto his arms, a smile, a genuine and big smile thrown his way as he can't help but smile along.

"I love you too, Jungkook." You say, and he chuckles.

The radio in the background still playing, as you lay in each others' arms.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please stop reposting my content on AO3 thinking I won't find it. I'm literally everywhere you clowns.

To everyone else: Thank you for reading this mess- I really apologize for the messy storyline, but I just wanted to put this out before the entire thing escaped me again and I would end up struggling to find my way back into it (cough cough flashback to mean lmao). I promise to somewhat post more regularly. Thank you for your kind words and for sticking with me!

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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8uggestionamplifie6 · 3 years

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I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

#star wars #sw anakin #anakin skywalker #padme lives au #padme amidala #leia skywalker #luke skywalker #Im not sure if anakin and padme would be good parents #like its possible but realistically? I dont think theyd be good parents #like anakin will probably be kicked out of the order (because he married a senator AS A JEDI and didn’t think to leave)#he just ruined the Order's stance on remaining neutral bc now people are gonna ask if they were neutral to naboo #the political ramifications for it is insane so check out my account bc i got a post about it #anakin would likely never learn how to love UNpossessivly and become a helicopter parent #and padme wouldnt stop him because . she already make a shit ton of excuses for him in aotc when anakin #murks innocent CHILDREN and she's like <; he JUST MURDERED PEOPLE AND ITS OK????#padme is an enabler for the most part and i know she would not stop anakin if he became a helicopter parent when she already doesn't care #leia and luke would grow up in such a toxic environment #yes you dont have to agree but just think about it logically #anakin already don't know how to love securely/unpossessively and if he leaves the Order #he still aint gonna learn and padme aint gonna reign him in #i feel so bad for luke and leia. at least in OT they had good parents #Bail is Best Dad^tm #Obi-Wan you gotta sue this couple and take them kids away. You Bail and Breha can keep'em. Y'all better at being parents #which is weird cause none ya got kids but thats okay luke and leia can be your kids #obi wan kenobi

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thebadchoicemachine · 3 years

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Yall want some MYCT Magnus Archive Headcanons I may or may not draw? (Pt 1?)

I will try to include individual trigger warnings at the beginning of each explanation as much as I can think of. They may seem a little overboard but better safe than sorry. Remember, TMA is a horror podcast.

(ALSO, EVERYTHING HERE IS /RP. EVEN WHEN I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT A ROLEPLAY VIDEO PLEASE KNOW I’M MAKING UP A CHARACTER BASED OFF THEIR CHANNEL AND AM NOT ACTUALLY ACCUSING THEM OF BEING A SERVANT TO A MALEVOLENT FEAR ENTITY.)

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Philza

1. An End Avatar (TW, Numb/Apathetic Mindset)

He’s a reaper. An immortal. You only live once but life’s become, not meaningless, more like desaturated. He doesn’t care in a cheery “oh well” way. He’s pretty chill about it. He’s extremely chill about it. He is disturbingly chill about it. At first it seems great, he’s just a nice chill guy! No evil schemes or vicious plots. Just spending time with him seems to calm your nerves. And then you spend more time and you begin to understand why, things aren’t as important as you make them seem. You catastrophize a lot. Then a catastrophe happens and you’re not... upset. Why... why would you be? It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. It won’t in a hundred years and it doesn’t now. would end the same anyways. And then he starts to be less and less relatable. Why is he so happy? Why does he bother to go meet people and smile and eat or laugh or frown. You can’t belive you ever complained that he was so mild about everything, any amount is more than is worth. Why bother? Why... bother...

2. A Vast Avatar (TW, Heights?)

He just fucking tosses people into the sky instead of being upset with them. Do anything he doesn’t like? SWOOSH. It’s to the point it’s not even a malicious thing, it’s just routine. He gets up, goes to the store, picks up some groceries, sends a person who cut in line to a void of dusk with swirling black clouds where you fall so long you can’t tell if you’re flying up or down or left or right, maybe gets some mints, goes home, puts groceries away, does the dishes, etc.

(the rest of the cast below the cut)

Tubbo

1. A Corruption Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Lungs, Swarming Insects, Implied Murder.)

He has bees in his lungs and he loves them very much. If he ever gets something stuck in his throat or has water go down the wrong pipe he will FEAK OUT. He often has to cough up honey (and sometimes bees). It’s... a process. He just sits over a bucket or jar and hacks his little heart out. He sometimes saves the honey and offers it to people. Amazingly, his friends never take him up on the offer. Unsuspecting people who don’t know the.. supernatural origin of the honey find they have some... unpleasant side effects. (Bees. The side effect is bees. Specifically ones trying to fly down their throat.) Oh well, being a part of a hive isn’t for everyone. The really unfortunate ones make good fertilizer for his flowers, though! His lungs are literally a hive. If you tried to listen to his heartbeat you’d hear buzzing. He will sometimes hold flowers over his open mouth to let the bees get some easy pollon. He doesn’t usually actively seek out “prey” but when he is trying to feed on that good old fear he’ll act super sweet, too sweet, and then open his mouth and let the bees fly out. It’s very creepy but to him it’s just funny. (Also, all of the bees have names and he has a funeral for every single one that get’s killed.)

Quackity

1. A Spiral Avatar

I- I mean have you seen a single one of his videos?

2. A Stranger Avatar (TW, Unreality Depersonalization )

He mocks people as their own reflection, hopping from pond to mirror to camera to scream at them (sometimes literally) that they do not know who they are. It starts off subtle (Wasn’t your hair a bit longer? Weren’t your eyes a shade lighter? Did you always have that birthmark?”) but grows and changes until it gets to the point you stand in front of a mirror and every time you blink you look completely different. You feel your face, you look at your hands, but it’s no help. They change too fast. Your pictures change too, every single post on all your social media looks like different people posted it- wait... did you always have this platform? You don’t remember ever using it before. You have so many posts... none of them match up. You throw your phone away, noticing you never had the case on it. You turn to real photos for help but they are none. Of course not. You feel like just giving up as you shuffle through photo after photo, you don’t know what you really look like, so what? But then something catches your eye. A photo of you in the 5th grade concert. You don’t remember going to that school. You’ve never played an instrument, have you? Something screams yes and no at the same time. You throw the box down and grab your phone. You need to call someone. You pace throughout a house you recognize less and less searching for clues, reminders, as the phone rings. Your best friend answers. You throw the phone down again. You don’t have a best friend. You’ve never really been one for friends. No, that’s not true, you had a few really good ones but you’ve grown apart. No, that’s not true, you only have one real friend, your boyfriend. No, you don’t have a boyfriend, just a close friend. No, you have many friends just none that are close enough for this bullshit. You stop. No. No you don’t like swearing, do you? Do you? Who are you? Who are you? Your reflection laughs. It’s eating popcorn and making you do a stupid dance. What a bitch.

3. A Flesh Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Faces and Skin)

You’re a piece of meat, he’s a piece of meat, everyone’s meat. Like Chicken Nuggets.He’ll steal your face right off it’s skull and dance with one in each hand. He’ll put words in your mouth like you’re a puppet with bones. He’ll make you say the dumbest shit because it’s funny. Even when it’s obviously not YOU talking.

Technoblade

1. A Hunt Avatar (TW, Stalking/Genocide)

Many people have suggested a slaughter avatar but I don’t see it. Yeah, he kills (blood for the blood god and all that) but I don’t see it. The Slaughter is about the moment. The unplanned snap. The sudden outbursts. I don’t see that in techno. You know what I DO see that also involves quite a bit of bloodlust? The chase. The planning, the target, the unstoppable dread and panic that overtakes his victims once they realize who is after them. The power. Calculated genocide of victim after victim. The HUNT. My two pain points of evidence: His potato war videos, that time he took over the world, and his stalking speech to Quackity. Go watch an animatic of Technoblade chasing down Quackity and tell me he is not a Hunt Avatar.

Wilbur

1. A Desolation Avatar (TW, Abuse/Torture)

Everything he touches burns and hurts. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes on accident, but either way he’s caught up in enjoying the drama. I’m gonna be honest, my main inspiration was the Villainbur aesthetic but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Look at nearly any of his 100 player videos; designed to create maximum pain for hs enjoyment. Even the Dream SMP where he was mostly a good guy and more tragic than anything else fits. Maybe that Villain Arc was his first dabble as an avatar of destruction and pain. Even making his own father kill him could have been along the lines of “how can I milk as much despair out of this as possible.”

TommyInnit

1. A Slaughter Avatar (TW, Straight Up Murder)

Now HERE is a character right up that slaughter’s alley. No thoughts, not plans, just unbridled passion and rage and violence. He just stabs people whenever he feels like it (which is often) sometimes just with sticks. Like a rabid raccoon just jumps straight at people’s faces out of nowhere, always starting shit and stoking fires to make people angry at each other.

2. A Buried Avatar (TW, small tight spaces)

Tunnels and caves and sticks and spots. He’ll burry you under a mountain, he’ll lock you in a tree. Dirt man. His usual MO is trapping people under an avalanche of stones and rocks and rubble. Basically just lava casting your bones. Everything he makes is ugly but not just in a ”that’s literally a pile of rocks in the middle of the road” way in a bit of an indescribable “looking at that makes me feel like I’m breathing in straight gravel.”

Bonus: Ranboo as a Dark Avatar/Victim. He is not a willing avatar like Jude or Helen, he’s more along the lines of Oliver and Jon.

#dream smp au #dsmp tma au

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spiritroots · 4 years

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View the full Insta post & rest of the photos here: https://www.instagram.com/p/B7gbu_zh64n/?igshid=1iueby3um9y7p BIG EGUN ENERGY YALL 👏👏👏 I cannot recommend enough visiting the National Museum of African American History if you get a chance while in DC. I could feel the ancestors beaming and calling out in this space that beautifully honors the memories of so many heroes and brings forward the names and stories of many we may not know. I took some pictures of favorites including a “voodoo doll” gifted by Oprah Winfrey, a powerful quote from W. E. B. Du Bois, a section on the African roots of rice culture and the Gullah Geechee peoples (part of my personal heritage), and a list of online resources for doing your own genealogy research. The museum even has an “Explore Your Family History Center” where you can you can delve into digital resources related to family history, including the Freedmen’s Bureau digital archives (access online here: http://fbsearch.nmaahc.si.edu/), and receive expert guidance on how to conduct genealogical research and oral history interviews. Constructing and caring for our ancestor altars is very important, but it’s also the beginning and most foundational part of the ancestor work that needs to be done for our ancestors, our ourselves, our families, and our communities. Ancestral work can mean so much more, including creating and engaging with community spaces like this that honor our culture and history AND empower us to do that on a personal level too. If you have the opportunity to record family stories and history, make family trees, do research, conduct interviews with your elders and document it, that in itself is also sacred work. Our family lines are so powerful and so important to be kept in our memory and into the future. And we are surrounded by future ancestors in the living elders, parents, aunts and uncles and others around us - and even in ourselves. Our stories are our families stories, and when we can be the keepers and tellers of those stories, it uplifts and strengthens all of us. Maferefun Egun. Ashe. 🌿🌱🍃

#nationalmuseumofafricanamericanhistoryandculture #washingtondc #egun #egungun #ancestors #ancestorwork #africanamericanhistory #blackhistory #lucumi #lukumi #ifa #isese #ancestoraltar #mlkweekend2020 #voodoo

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imagineaworldlike · 5 years

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Safe With Me

Here is chapter 2! I want to mention that I have also posted this on Archive of Our Own under the same username and story name. I’m going to keep uploading on both sites since this blog is dedicated to Stranger Things and I also want to have a space strictly for the story.

I hope someone out there is enjoying it :)

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word count: 1668

2: Safe With Me

I instinctively pulled my hand down and hid it behind my back, my normal response whenever someone questioned me about it.

“How do you know about that?” I asked defensively. I was shocked that someone else knew what my tattoo meant.

“I.. I know another girl, Eleven,” she responded. My eyes grew wide in disbelief. There were others like me here in Hawkins? There were that many of us? A million other questions raced through my mind, but the man in shorts spoke before I could.

“Look, this is fascinating and all, but in case you have forgotten, Joyce, evil Russians are after us and not afraid to kill! Now, we need to get to the car, get Jim, and LEAVE.” They both moved toward the man still sitting in the grass next to me and I stood, slightly lightheaded. The man I had healed attempted to get up, but wasn’t able to on his own.

“Um, he’s going to be weak for a few hours, but he’ll be fine.” I was still in shock over the entire situation and wasn’t exactly sure what to do. Both of them reached under his arms to lift him up and support him as they walked between the stands to the parking lot. I followed and overheard their conversation.

“Murray, we can’t exactly infiltrate a Russian base with Alexei in this state.” Joyce said in a low voice.

Russian base? I had heard the man say something about evil Russians a moment ago, but it didn’t register until right then. Was this man, Alexei, Russian? And if he was, why were other evil Russians trying to kill him?

“I realize that. But we can’t just leave him somewhere defenseless for them to find again. He’s now seen as a traitor to the Soviet Union and he’s still considered an enemy of the State! We don’t have time to take him back to my place-“

“I’ll take him.”

For the second time that night, I wasn’t sure why I was getting involved in someone else’s business, but something in me told me I had to. All three of them turned in unison to face me, surprised that I had even followed.

“What?” Murray said, dumbfounded.

“I can take him to my house. I’ll be able to watch and take care of him while yall fight the Russians or whatever.” They didn’t look convinced, so I continued. “They won’t know where he is, they don’t know me so he’ll be safe. I can protect him.” Joyce looked over to the man like she was seriously considering my offer.

“Look, we really don’t have time for this-“ Murray began and made to turn away from me.

“You don’t seem to have any other option.” I quipped. “The way I see it, you can take him or leave him somewhere to be killed and either way my hard work is thrown out the window. I know how to take care of him and whoever these evil Russians are won’t know where to find him if he’s with me.”

“Murray, I think this is our best option..” Joyce said. Alexei began to look very tired, like he was going to fall without their support.

“For Christ’s sake, he doesn’t even speak English!” Murray yelled, frustrated with all of us.

“I don’t care!” I yelled back. I was surprised with how I was acting, but there was something about this man that I just couldn’t let go of. “It seems that none of us want him to die and this is your best option. You can come pick him up tomorrow or whenever you’re done with what you’re doing and go back to your lives.”

“Murray..” Joyce pleaded. She looked like she was about to fall from supporting Alexei’s weight.

“Alright, fine, FINE! You can take him but I swear to God if anything happens to him it’s on you!”

“I promise he will be fine. Come on, my truck is this way.” We headed to my Ford and they helped Alexei into the front passenger seat. He looked ready to fall asleep at any second. I heard Murray hurriedly speaking to Alexei in Russian, probably discussing their change in plans.

“I live on Salem, the brown house.” Joyce nodded and I climbed into the driver’s seat.

“I meant what I said, if anything happens to him..” Murray began, looking over at me from Alexei’s open door.

“Nothing will happen to him, now go kill some evil Russians.” Starting the truck I closed my door and Murray did the same. I put it in reverse and exited my spot. As I drove towards the main road, I looked over and saw Joyce storm up to Mayor Kline and punch him in the face before kneeing his groin. I did a double take to make sure that was in fact what I saw, not having a clue why she would do such a thing. I suppressed a laugh and turned onto the road, heading home.

The drive was quiet despite the soft music coming from the radio. Alexei rested his head against the window and I thought for sure he was asleep, but he sat straight up when we pulled into my driveway fifteen minutes later.

“Home sweet home,” I mumbled before turning my rumbling old truck off. My one story house wasn’t much, but it had always been my home. I did the best that I could with it, keeping the flowers watered out front and decorating the inside to reflect my own personal taste.

I walked around to Alexei’s door and helped him out. He seemed to have regained a little bit of strength on the drive because he barely needed my help to walk into the house. I immediately locked the door behind us and walked him back to my bedroom, flicking on lights as we went.

Sitting him down on the bed, I stood back and pointed to his shirt, hoping he understood tht he could take the blood-covered garment off. Without thinking, I reached forward to start undoing the buttons for him, but thought better of it and pulled my hands back. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to help, so I began fidgeting with my bracelets and looked down. I wanted to make this as easy for him as I could, but I also didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

“You can take it off if you’d like.” He spoke softly and when he didn’t reach for the buttons I took it as an invitation to do it myself. I quickly undid the small buttons and pulled the shirt off his shoulders as he watched me intently. I was slightly surprised to see toned arms and the faint outline of muscles across his chest and torso, but I forced my eyes away from staring and focused on making him comfortable. I tossed the shirt onto the floor and turned back to find him looking up at me with a kind expression.

“I can’t thank you enough for this.” I had no idea what he was saying, but he was smiling so I nervously smiled back. He really was handsome, with his curly hair and a genuine smile that made his whole face light up; I had to remind myself again to stop staring at him.

“Um..” I motioned to his pants, which were covered in his blood as well and he seemed to understand. He unbuttoned them and lifted himself a bit to pull them down, letting them fall on the floor. I did my best not to look below his waistline out of respect, but I did notice his boxers also had blood covering the front of them. I turned to my dresser and pulled out an old pair of sweats that would fit him. After handing them over I turned around, hoping he understood that he could take his dirty underwear off and just wear those.

After a few seconds I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see him in just the sweats, boxers on the floor next to his pants. I smiled and reached behind him to pull back the bedsheets so he could lay down. As he made himself comfortable I walked to the light switch by the door and turned to face him.

“Good night, Alexei.” I flicked the switch and heard him mumble something in Russian. I walked out into my living room, turning off all the lights in my small house as I went.

The couch was soft and inviting, and I flopped down without a blanket or pillow. I couldn’t be made to care that I was still in my regular clothes or that my shirt was spotted with Alexei’s blood; I was so tired I felt like I could sleep for days. Just before I dozed off I heard footsteps and a slight tap on my shoulder. Opening my eyes, I saw Alexei standing over me.

“Are you okay..?” He reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me up. I followed him back into my bedroom where he laid down and pulled the sheets down on the other side of the bed, gesturing for me to lay down next to him.

I didn’t have to be told twice. The only light was coming from the full moon outside my window, so I quickly stripped off my shorts, shirt, and bra with my back to Alexei, putting on a bloodless shirt from the floor to sleep in. I climbed into my bed and made myself comfortable.

It was a strange feeling to have someone I didn’t even know in my bed next to me, but it was also comforting. Yes, Alexei seemed much stronger physically than I was and he did happen to be a Soviet, but regardless, he seemed like a teddy bear. I was surprised to find that I wasn’t afraid of him at all.

It didn’t take long for us to fall into a deep, sound sleep.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #alexei #alexei x reader #dr alexei #stranger things alexei #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fandom #safe with me fanfic #alexei smirnoff #fanfic #joyce byers #murray bauman #jim hopper #larry kline #eleven #hawkins indiana

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splendidcas · 5 years

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My Supernatural Fandom Research Paper

A/N: this is the draft of my 17 page research paper on the fandom that I am doing for my communications college class! I still have work to do on my results section but it’s almost done! once the final draft is complete, I will be presenting my research at my college’s student symposium! I want to thank all of you who helped me with my research, it means so much!! <33

ALSO feel free to skip the Literature Review; it’s not about SPN, just scholarly literature!

I also included some screenshots of tweets and posts from the cast that are in my actual paper. tada :) hope yall like it!

Finally, THIS PAPER IS 17 PAGES LONG SO FAR (in my Pages application). so yeah, feel free to skim or read as much or as little as you like. I just wanted to thank you all again for your help. Love you all <3

the rest is under the cut!

Abstract

This research paper explores the uniqueness of the hit television show Supernatural on The CW, which has been ongoing since 2005, and its fandom. Fans of the show have been labeled as “die-hard” and the cast has engaged in an ongoing relationship with the fandom for the past fourteen years and counting. This paper investigates what about the show and the fandom makes it so unique, as well as what the impact of such a relationship is.

Introduction

Five years ago my mother introduced me to the hit television show Supernatural, and I was instantly hooked. Since then I have participated in fan-created content, made many friends in the fandom, and have been to three Supernatural conventions so far. Through being such an active member of the fandom, I gained extensive knowledge on the show, its cast, and fellow fans. I realized what a unique show and fandom this was, and I began to question what the impact of that would be.

According to dictionary.com, a fandom is “the fans of a particular person, team, fictional series, etc., regarded collectively as a community or subculture.” Fandoms can also form around TV shows, movies, books, video games, and more. Although many of them share similarities, every fandom is different, and the Supernatural fandom in particular very much stands out from the rest. In fact, they’re not just a fandom; the cast and fans call themselves the “Supernatural Family” due to their close relationship. “Both aca-fans and mainstream media have recognized the increasingly reciprocal relationship between fans and producers, facilitated by internet technologies and social media” (Fandom at the Crossroads, 2). This relationship is certainly unique; for the past 14 years and counting it has led to episodes dedicated to the fans, fan conventions where the fans and cast meet and interact, charity campaigns, scavenger hunts, and more. Needless to say, the cast and fans have been engaged in a constant conversation that has greatly impacted the lives of all who are involved.

Since social media took off, fandom culture has grown significantly and has become an important part of the individual’s lives. For example, fandoms are an example of participatory culture, which “involves fans acting not only as consumers but also as producers and creators of some form of creative media” (Grinnell College). Fans creating art and fiction, also simply known as fan art and fan fiction, are examples of such creative media. Fans are not just fans anymore. They’re no longer simply reading or watching their favorite media; they are becoming a part of the fictional worlds themselves, adding to them by creating their own versions of canons in the worlds. The Supernatural fans are no exception to this; there are currently 328,391 works of Supernatural fan fiction on the fan fiction website Archive of Our Own alone (archiveofourown.org). There are countless works of fan fiction on Tumblr and Wattpad as well. Many fans even bring their fan art to the cast at Supernatural conventions where they can get cast members to sign them.

The relationship between Supernatural fans and cast members is important to note because not only are the fans immersing themselves into the fictional world, engaging with the cast, and dedicating a good chunk of their lives to the show, but also because it has been ongoing since 2005. Jensen Ackles, one of the main actors on the show since the beginning, has even hinted that the show will “keep going for several more years” (TV Guide). This begs the question: What is it about the show that has created such die-hard fans? In addition, what is the impact of such a reciprocal relationship? To conduct such research I plan to use the Uses & Gratifications theory create a survey for Supernatural fans. By using the Uses & Grats theory and conducting a survey I hope to discover what the impact of the relationship between Supernatural fans and the cast members has been, as well as why Supernatural acts as a breeding ground for die-hard fans.

Uses and Gratifications in Fandoms

Elihu Katz provided the foundation for the Uses and Gratifications theory with his work, “Uses and Gratifications Research.” He explains that the theory “begins by specifying needs and then attempts to trace the extent to which they are gratified by the media or other sources” (Katz). In other words, people have needs that need to be met, and they seek to meet and gratify those needs in different medias. In his work he also provides five basic assumptions of the theory. First, audience members are active, and second, “much initiative in linking need gratification and media choice lies with the audience member” (Katz). In other words, people choose what media to consume; they do not passively wait around for media to find and affect them. Third, different media compete with one another to provide gratification and satisfaction. Fourth, people are self-aware and recognize the needs they seek to be met and can report on them. Fifth, “value judgements about the cultural significance of mass communication should be suspended while audience orientation are explored on their own terms” (Katz). In other words, different medias affect people differently, and judgements toward that concept should not be made.

In the McGraw-Hill textbook A First Look at Communication Theory, Emory A. Griffin does a great job at explaining Katz’ work in simpler terms. He goes on to explain the typology of Uses and Gratifications, or the categories of reasons one might consume a particular type of media. Such categories include: passing time, companionship, escape, enjoyment, social interaction, relaxation, information, and excitement.

Other scholars have chosen to take Uses & Gratifications even further by combining it with other factors and theories. By doing this, it becomes easier to get more specific in terms of why audience members choose the media they do. For example, Roger Cooper and Tang Tang in their article “Predicting Audience Exposure to Television in Today’s Media Environment” combined seven structural variables with Uses & Grats and turned it into a model of audience exposure. Such variables include internet, audience availability, the cost of multi-channel service, age, instrumental motivations, and gender (Cooper, Tang). In other words, these variables influence and affect what a person is going to choose to watch, read and engage with. A woman who is 25 years old might not be watching the same thing as a 75-year-old man because of the age difference, gender difference, or because perhaps they cannot afford a multi-channel service while the elder can. Scholars Gildasio Dos Santos, Michael Kotowski and Jake Hardwood expand on the gender variable in their article “Television and Gratification: The Role of Sex in Predicting Media Uses and Gratifications and Television Programs.” Gender plays more of an important role in the uses and gratifications of a media than one might think. The article cites research that found that women have a “greater tendency than men to have an empathetic and accommodating attitude towards situations in which characters struggle with an issue” (Dos Santos, Kotowski, Harwood, 9). Therefore one can draw the conclusion that women are more drawn to certain genres of television and certain television shows than men. Given that the Supernatural fandom is mostly women, this is an interesting aspect to note in my research.

Another possible variable in why someone chooses a certain media is race. Jessica R. Abrams discusses in her article “African Americans’ Television Activity” the reasons why African Americans select certain television programs and what they may get out of it in contrast to caucasians. Results found that caucasians and African Americans had different gratifications for selecting television.

Uses & Grats is deeply psychological, and it is important to note research about the psychological aspects of the theory. Alan M. Rubin argues in his article “The Uses-and-Gratifications Perspective of Media Effects” that dependency on media is a big factor in consuming certain medias. He says, “Dependency on a particular medium results from the motives we have to communicate, the strategies we use to obtain gratifications, and the restricted availability of functional alternatives.” Any of these factors may result in a dependency on media. If someone doesn’t have any other alternative to communicate or receive a certain gratification, they resort to depending on a media to get it (Rubin). Continuing with the psychological perspective of Uses & Grats, authors Mark Galauner, Michael Beatty, Jill Red and David Atkin did a study combining the personality traits of extraversion, neuroticism, and psychoticism to see if there were any connections between them. The article discusses research conducted that found that “ extraversion and psychotics both appear to reject most of the ‘traditionally identified’ television viewing motivations” and that neuroticism “represents the strongest predictor of media use” (Atkin, Beatty, Galauner, Red). In other words, those who showed extraversion and/or psychoticism were less likely to engage in television use than those who showed neuroticism.

One model that has been combined with the Uses & Grats theory is the MAIN model, which stands for modality, agency, interactivity, and navigability. Scholars Chamil Rathnayake and Jenifer Winter used the MAIN model to conduct research on 383 college students and social media use. They explain that the MAIN model argues that “distinctive gratifications can emerge from new media affordances.” Modality is the way the media is presented, agency recognizes the ability of users to be able to contribute to media, interactivity relates to the interaction with and on a medium, and navigability is “the affordance that allows user movement through the medium” (Rathnayake and Winter, 374). Shyam Sundar and Anthony Limperos also use the MAIN model to find out if new technologies bring out new gratifications in consumers. Technology itself is a gratification, and the article found that more and newer technologies bring about more gratifications.

An extremely important aspect of the Uses & Grats theory is parasocial relationships, or an “ongoing, one-sided bond with a media figure” (ThoughtCo). Parasocial relationships are important because they are a driving force of why many engage with a certain media over and over again. Scholars Sarah Erickson, Kristen Harrison and Sonya Dal Cin wrote a journal article which explores romantic parasocial relationships that adolescents in particular have, called ARPA. Although APRA is largely ignored by scholars, the authors argue that they have a great impact on the lives of adolescents. To discover just what the impact of those relationships might be, scholars Riva Tukachinsky and Sybilla M. Dorros did a research study and found that APRAs created an idealized relationship that led to disappointment in real-life relationships. A journal article by Bradley J. Bond argues that parasocial relationships are even more important among adolescents who are members of the LGBTQ+ community. Such members may experience trouble forming real-life bond as well as expressing themselves to others. This is perhaps why they form such strong and continuous parasocial bonds with certain characters. One study by Jhih-Syuan Lin, Kuan-Ju Chen and Yongjun Sung in “Understanding the Nature, Uses and Gratifications of Social Television” found that when an audience is attached to a character, they become attached and loyal to the program. When audiences are loyal to a program, they then inadvertently become loyal to the television network.

One example of using a Uses & Grats approach to parasocial relationships is Alan M. Rubin discussing the parasocial relationships between talk radio hosts and listeners. He also discusses the impact of the relationship, as well as what the attraction and motivation of the listeners are. Rubin found that parasocial interaction with a talk radio host “should lead to greater talk radio exposure, should lead to increased information acquisition, [and] should positively predict perceptions of attitudinal and behavioral effects in line with a host’s expressed opinions” (Rubin, 640).

Scholars Darrin Brown, Sharon Lauricella, Aziz Douai, and Arshia Zaidi used a Uses & Grats approach to discover what it is about crime dramas that attract so many viewers, similar to what I would like to do with the Supernatural fandom. They fond that “frequency of viewing crime dramas was a statistically significant predictor for only full gratification and curiosity/information” (Brown, Douai, Lauricella, Zaidi, 1). Using this theory can reveal just how impactful media is; it affects the way we perceive real-life events as well as real-life relationships.

Method

In order to conduct my research with the Uses & Gratifications theory, I will be conducting a survey to gather the data necessary to discover the impact, uniqueness and perseverance of the Supernatural fandom. To discover this, many questions must be asked and answers must be sorted into categories, thus a survey makes for the easiest and most sensible method. I will be using SurveyMonkey to conduct my survey and will post it to Tumblr for several reasons. First, a very large portion of the Supernatural fandom engages with each other and with Supernatural content on the blogging website. Second, Supernatural fans on Tumblr are very willing to participate in surveys that have to do with the show, as I have discovered in the past with previous surveys. Third, as I have experienced in my 8+ years on Tumblr, it seems to have an extremely diverse group of users, and by posting my survey there I hope to gain more diversity in my sample.

My survey will first begin with a series of closed-ended questions, including age, gender (male, female, non-binary, or other), ethnicity, and sexuality. I want to include such questions because they give me reassurance that I am getting a diverse sample, and also because the answers to these questions could have an impact on the reasons they watch Supernatural and engage with the fandom. My survey will then move to open-ended questions. I realize open-ended questions may cause participants to stray, however I feel comfortable asking open-ended questions because the fans are generally very willing to participate in anything Supernatural-related, even surveys. I also feel I will get the most helpful responses through open-ended questions. I will begin with asking perhaps the most important question: “Why do you watch Supernatural?” After gathering answers to this question specifically, I will categorize them based on the answers I receive. The next open-ended questions include: “Why did you get involved in the SPN fandom?”, “Do you participate in any fan-created content (fan art, fan fiction, etc.)?”, “Have you ever been to a convention? If yes, briefly describe why and what your experience was like”, “Has Supernatural and the fandom impacted your life? If yes, briefly explain how”, and “What do you think makes Supernatural and its fandom so unique from the rest?”.

Results

After posting my survey to Tumblr and letting it run for the course of about 24 hours, I received a total of 515 respondents, though that number varies slightly among the survey questions.

My survey found that out of 508 respondents, 39.8% were between the ages of 18 and 24. 25.8% of respondents were between 25 and 35, 22.2% were under 18, 8.3% were between 35 and 45, 3.0% were between 44 and 55, and 0.98% were 55 or older. These results show that, while the majority of fans are younger, Supernatural attracts fans of all ages.

Next, out of 513 respondents, 92.4% answered that they identified as female. 2.34% identified as male, 4.5% identified as non-binary, and 0.8% identified as other. This clearly shows that the vast majority of the fandom identifies as female. This is interesting to note and can lead to many suppositions as to why this might be.

513 respondents answered the question about their ethnicity. 81.3% of respondents were white or caucasian. 13.1% were Hispanic or Latino, 4.5% were Asian or Asian American, 3.3% answered that they were another race, 1.2% were Black or African American, 1.8% were American Indian or Alaska Native, and 1% were Native Hawaiian or another Pacific Islander.

Out of 513 respondents, 39.8% identified as heterosexual. 37.4% identified as bisexual, 8.6% identified as other, 7.8% identified as asexual. 2.9% identified as gay or lesbian, and 3.7% said they preferred not to say. These results show that the majority of fans were either heterosexual or bisexual, but there were also many fans who varied among the spectrum of sexuality.

The next question I asked respondents was the first open-ended question of the survey, asking “Why do you watch Supernatural?” and it received 514 responses. Based on the answers I received, I created eight categories of Uses and Gratifications that most respondents said got from the show. The categories were: Actors, Characters, Community, Escapism, Hope. Attractiveness of Actors, Humor, Mythology, Storyline About Family. The most popular answer for as to why they watch Supernatural, which was given by 45.5% of respondents, fell under the Characters category. Many said that over the years they had grown attached to the characters. One respondent said, “I love the characters like my own kids.” Many also responded that they loved the relationships between the characters on the show and watching them interact.

The second most popular response fell under the Mythology category, with 27% of respondents. The show involves stories about monsters, lore, angels, demons, God himself, Satan himself, and more. Many respondents seemed to find that concept extremely intriguing because not many other shows go into depth with mythology like Supernatural does.

The third most popular response, with 22% of respondents, fell under the Storyline About Family category. Several respondents said that they enjoyed that the main storyline of the show was about family because there weren’t many other shows like that. One respondent said they felt like the characters were their family now, too. Another respondent answered, “It [Supernatural] taught me more about love, friendship, and family more than anything or anyone else in my life.” Someone else also said, “It [the show] just feels like home.” Based on these answers, I have concluded that the familial storyline is one major reason as to why the show has grown so popular; it seems to have provided a family to viewers as well.

9.5% of respondents answered that the show gave them hope, falling under the Hope category. Here are some quotes from several respondents to show this and give insight as to why this is: “It [the show] makes me believe in myself again,” “These two brothers fighting against everything makes me know I can fight whatever I’m going through and overcome it,” and “I watch Supernatural because it is, in almost a way, perfect. It’s people learning to live with their demons. It’s people trying to make the world a better place. It’s finding family and love and acceptance, and a place to belong. It’s about never giving up. It’s about carrying on.” For the remaining categories, 16.9% said they watched for the actors, falling under the Actors category. 12.7% said they watched the show as a form of Escapism, 7.8% fell under the Community category, meaning they watch because they have found a community within the show and its fandom, 7.4% fell under the Humor category, and finally, 6.2% fell under the Attractiveness of Actors category, meaning they watched the show because they found the actors good-looking. Based on these results, there are many reasons as to why people watch Supernatural. However it it seems that it is mostly because it is about a family who battles demons, both literal and metaphorical, and the show has provided fantastic, lovable characters played by equally lovable actors through that storyline.

The next open-ended question I asked was “Why did you decide to get involved with the Supernatural fandom?” This question received 514 respondents, and I broke the responses down into 10 categories: More Content, Actors/Charity, Boredom, Community, Fanfiction/Fanart, Inclusion/Acceptance, Frequent Postings, Enjoyment of Show, Recommendation, Support, and Same Interests. The More Content category means that fans joined the fandom as a way to get more content for the show, whether that be through fan-created content, discussion of the show, gifs, and more. The Actors/Charity category means that respondents got involved with the fandom because of the actors and/or the charities they created. The Boredom category is for those fans who got involved with the fandom simply because they had nothing else to do. The Community category was for those who joined because they wanted to be a part of a new community and to make new friends. The Fanfiction/Fanart category means that respondents saw the fan-created content and decided to join in themselves. The Inclusion/Acceptance category, as well as the Support category, were for the fans who joined based off of the reputation that the fandom has for being accepting, welcoming, and supportive. The category of Frequent Postings means that respondents said they got involved because Supernatural and the fandom’s posts “kept popping up everywhere on Instagram and Tumblr,” as many respondents said, so they decided to give it a try themselves. Enjoyment of Show was for respondents who got involved with the fandom simply because they liked the show. The Recommendation category means that respondents got involved based off of a recommendation to do so from a family member or friend. Finally, the Same Interests category was for respondents who said that they joined the fandom in order to discuss the show with people who had the same interests as them.

The most popular response, with 18.9% of respondents, was Same Interests. As one respondent put it, “I loved the idea of being part of a community of people who are so passionate about a show.” Next, the categories of Frequent Postings and Community tied with 14.4%. For Frequent Postings, one respondent said, “I just wanted to understand all the references on Tumblr.” It seems that, based on the responses, the fandom took over a large part of Tumblr, leaving little room for non-fans to escape. For the Community category, many joined because they had heard about the fandom and wanted to be a part of a community of people with a “reputation for being a brilliant fandom to be a part of,” as one respondent put it. Another respondent said they had “never felt a part of anything in [their] life until the show and the fandom came along.” The next most popular category was Fanfiction/Fanart, with 14.2% of respondents. The remaining categories were Recommendation with 10.9%, 9.9% with Enjoyment of Show, 8.8% with Inclusion/Acceptance, 7.4% with Actors/Charity, 6% with More Content, 5.5% with Support, and 2.3% with Boredom. Based on these results, it can be concluded that fans got involved with the fandom for a wide variety of reasons, but mostly because they wanted to meet and talk to people who shared similar interests.

The following question I asked was, “Do you participate in any fan-created content (fan art, fan fiction, etc.)? If so, please describe your participation.” The fandom is so widespread, and I wanted to know how many were participating in fan-created content because that shows what an impact Supernatural has had on its fans’ lives. As said before, they are not simply watching the television show and moving on with their lives. Instead, they create their own canons within the Supernatural world. This question had 505 respondents and answers were divided into 4 categories: Creator, meaning they themselves create content, Consumer, meaning they do not create themselves but consume the content created by others, Both Create and Enjoy, and No, for those who did not participate in any fan-created content. The majority of respondents were Creators, with 30.3%. 28.9% were Consumers, 17% fell under Both Create and Enjoy, and 16.4% said No. Based on these results, one can conclude that the vast majority of the fandom is participating in some way, shape or form in fan-created content. What this means is that they are letting the show take up a larger portion of their lives than they would if they only simply watched the show and then left it alone. It also means that the majority of fans are creating for/because of/based off of the show, which is significant because they may be enhancing their own creativity and skills just because of a television show.

I also asked participants if they had ever been to a Supernatural convention. These conventions are expensive and the price goes up every year, so I assumed many people would answer No. However I wanted to ask anyway for the fans that had been to a convention in order to get a sense of what the experience was like for them. 85% of respondents said they had never been to a Supernatural convention, and the vast majority of them said they wanted to if they could afford it. 15.5% said they had, and almost every single one of those respondents answered that it was a very positive experience. Many of these respondents also said they had been to multiple conventions. One respondent said, “I have been to MinnCon and it was AMAZING!! Meeting them [the cast], listening to stories, taking pictures with them [the cast]…it was heaven.” Another respondent said, “I met a lot of great people from all around the world.” Another respondent also said, “Rich and Rob [cast members] put on an amazing show for us, Louden Swain [the cast band] rocked the concert, and all of the actors are just so fun and funny you can’t help but have an amazing time.” One respondent even said it was the best experience they’ve ever had. These answers are important to note because, based off of them, it can be concluded that Supernatural is greatly impacting and changing lives. Fans are saving up money to go to expensive conventions in order to be able to interact with the cast in a more intimate way that not many other fandoms do. For example, one person said they went to a meet and greet with Jensen Ackles, and they said they “got to tell him how much [they] appreciate him to his face.”

The following question I asked respondents was, “Has Supernatural and the fandom impacted your life? If so, briefly explain how.” Out of 510 respondents, only 37 of them said that they had not been impacted, meaning that 92% of respondents had been impacted and in a positive way. Many mentioned Jared Padalecki, another main character of the show, and his charity campaign Always Keep Fighting that he ran in 2015 in an effort to bring awareness to mental health, as he suffers from depression himself.

Above is a screenshot of a Facebook post Jared made back in 2015 when the campaign was still running. Those who mentioned Jared and the campaign said that the campaign improved their mental health and has given them hope on a daily basis. Some said that it, the show, and the fandom saved their lives. One respondent said, “Someone that I hold very near and dear to my heart is Jared. I 100% believe that if it weren’t for him, his character Sam, and the Always Keep Fighting campaign, I wouldn’t be here today.” Below are several more quotes from other respondents that show what an amazing impact the show, its actors, and the fandom have made on the lives of fans:

“It’s made me feel welcome when I’ve felt like an outcast. It’s given me focus when I felt untethered. It’s given me a family when I’ve felt alone. For those reasons and so many more, I owe Supernatural and its fandom so much. More than I can say.”

“The actors have impacted me a lot with what they’ve done for the world and that they talk about things not everyone else does. It makes me feel accepted, and I don’t get that often.”

“The characters have flaws and the series shows the it’s okay to be different or not alright, but it’s always important to get help…this show makes me want to keep fighting.”

In addition, below is a tweet made in 2018 by Misha Collins, the third main character of the show.

The final question I asked respondents was the open-ended question, “What do you think makes the Supernatural fandom so unique?” Although I did not categorize these answers or look at all of them because there were 510 long responses, many respondents said similar things. One answer many provided was the fact that the show has been around for so long and yet still has such active, passionate members. As one respondent put it, “It has survived for over ten years and still has a following. Most other fandoms lose steam or just die in that amount of time. But even during weaker seasons, the fandom lives on…” Another popular answer for this question was the fact that it is more than a fandom, it is more like a family composed of not only fans but cast members as well. A respondent said, “What makes Supernatural and its fandom so unique from others is that we are a tightly-knitted family that was started by people who just wanted to do some good in the world. Supernatural is so unique because the characters we see on screen…are real, kind, selfless people…We see that the actors who play those characters we look up to possess those same virtues and qualities. What makes people so dedicated to Supernatural and its fandom is the fact that nothing is fake, even if you take away the movie magic. The fandom has built itself into something more: a family.” Below are several more quotes from different respondents discussing the Supernatural Family phenomenon:

“I think that it’s a fandom for people who find themselves lost, and together we’ve made a home for ourselves. We help each other learn and grow into better people. Other fandoms don’t seem to be as much of a family as we do and I think that’s what makes us special.”

“This show is special because of how much interaction we have with all the actors; they are constantly saying how much they love the fandom and family.”

“The fandom feels more like a family than a group of strangers fawning over the same thing (a very, VERY huge family, of course) and we’ve all bonded deeply over the years while seeing these characters we love suffer time and time again and yet always emerge more or less intact and ready to keep fighting.”

“When we are at our best, we operate like a family. The actors will ask fans one on one how they’re doing and if they’re okay. Friends who were strangers before the show have saved each other’s lives. We keep hope alive for each other when we don’t have any.”

“We accept everyone as is. We are voca, about mental health. We are supportive of each other. We are a family. Not a fandom.”

All of these quotes by respondents and the cast members show how significant and positive the impact of the show and the relationship between the fans and actors have been on so many, especially in terms of mental health. All of these are proof that the Supernatural fandom is not just a fandom: it’s the Supernatural Family, and it will continue for years to come.

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tagging those who were interested: @mrscasnovak @dammitsammy @unisaursarethebest @ezilyamuzed @tardis-impala-bakerst-221 @supernatural-bellawinchester @iammsamy

#supernatural #spn #spn family #supernatural family #spn fandom #shannons college adventures

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