me externally: imogearne good
me internally: fearne is terrified of anyone letting go of her in all her relationships. she deeply desires some sort of bond with them that will make them stay. she deeply cared for and still does care for chetney and bonded with him over his lycanthropy and was upset when he completely stopped pursuing her after they banged. while she does have feelings for ashton and now a solid bond with them because of their shards, she's convinced herself that ashton deserves better than her or would be miserable with her because she almost got him killed and he said he deserved to die. she is scared of using her shard power and they are not which further splits the rift. so she tries desperately to bond with imogen over their shared ruidusborn powers more and more blatantly even though she knows imogen loves laudna and wants them to be happy because they are her friends. even so, she also deeply loves imogen and hopes that she could be enough for her and that she won't leave like everyone else. and maybe if they're both ruidusborn it'll be worth it to stay with her. imogearne good.
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“but first a toast to emily always the bridesmaid, never the bride tell me my dear can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating”
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I don’t know what the universe is trying to tell me but if I come across one more scenario where the MFC is laminating about not having kids of her own I’m going to Kermit
Edit: I don’t hate the lamenting but I do hate how my brain is reacting to it currently 🥴
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How's the wedding, Atia, not very good it seems
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I keep hoping that UMG just forgot to scan my shipping label and that I'll have a surprise on my doorstep today or tomorrow LOL
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I knew he would never love me the way I love him. I just built a fantasy of us inside my brain just like everything else.
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She had never been first in anything. Ever.
Siri Hustvedt, from The Blazing World
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zant: wants to be king
zant: just becomes basically another advisor but for a really mean beefy guy that bullies him
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Very much in an ‘always a bridesmaid never a bride’ mood right now 😕
Two of my best friends are getting married within the next year or two, and I’m pretty sure my friend in South Africa is planning on asking me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding as well
And I’m so happy for them, like I love them all so so much, but it gets really hard. I get so caught up in wedding planning with them, I help them pick out ideas and flowers and dresses and it’s so much fun, but then it crashes down on me that I’m nowhere close
I even get so wrapped up I look at dresses for me and rings and pick out wedding colors, and then I just bum hard and become numb. And then it gets really hard to feel hyped while continuing to wedding plan
It’s so hard to be so upset for myself while being so happy for my friends
Just feeling bummed right now, I’ll get over it, I’ll be so happy for them the whole time, I’m just having a hard time right now
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When you started the halflings with tails trend but now its a trend so you, the person that started it, get mistaken for following a trend rather than setting it 😔✌️
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