#‘lil dicky if you wouldn’t mind’

[lisamarkus]

"Oct 2nd"

In this essay, I will examine the critical questions: “How is this artifact constituting a group around a certain ideology and using rhetoric to do so? What is (ethically) productive and/or limiting about this type of constitution, and is it more productive or limiting?

To investigate these questions, I analyzed a music video by Lil Dicky for the song “Earth”. By using humor, incorporating popular artists, and touching on different situations so everyone can relate to at least one, the artist is able to spread the ideology that Climate Change is real and the Earth is something that deserves to be loved. This use is both productive and limiting in the way that it sheds light on many different areas to be inclusive and was produced to inspire a change for the better but also includes phrases some people would not be okay with hearing. It is more productive than limiting because it was produced knowing the main audience would be a younger audience who wouldn’t take as much offense to it. 

Lil Dicky is an artist that is popular among Rap and Hip Hop listeners. He is known to create songs that are comedic and focus on a variety of topics. This song was published on April 19th, 2019 which was three days before Earth Day. The political climate in the United States at the time was one of conflicting views on the urgency of the issue and what to do about it. This song was then used by listeners to share the message and further spread the ideology. It includes many popular figures of the time including, but not limited to, Ariana Grande, Kevin Hart, the Backstreet Boys, Megan Trainor, and Halsey. The music video starts by highlighting current news events on forest fires followed by a scene showing a truck driver rolling coal and pollution littering the streets. Lil Dicky appears after a group of children dump over a trash can and don’t pick it up. There is a humorous exchange and then Lil Dicky scolds them for just leaving it during an environmental crisis. One of the children starts picking it up and opens a book. This begins the animated portion where nature is thriving. All featured celebrities are depicted as animals. 

Foss explains that “an ideology is a pattern of beliefs that determines a group’s interpretations of some aspect(s) of the world”. It is made up of many beliefs and ends up influencing how that group responds and analyzes information they ingest. They are dependent on who believes them and do not apply to people outside that group (Foss 239). There is some danger involved in ideologies because they are not reliant on fact. Foss also stresses the importance of ideological criticism. They point out what should be looked for including nature of the ideology, how relatable and consistent it it, commutative genre, if the audience expects the format in which the message is being published is persuasive, size of audience, the scope of the message, Content, what the rhetor chooses to focus on, style, tools used like word choice and nonverbals, and interactional styles, how the rhetors present themselves to the audience and how they interact with other members present. With this in mind, Foss says in order to critique an artifact you must first choose one, then analyze it based on the previous criteria, come up with a research question, and finally write out your findings (Foss 247). By using this method, consumers of artifacts can better judge and understand ideologies and their impacts. 

One way in which the song “Earth” constitutes a group around a certain ideology is by incorporating humor to keep the audience actively engaged so they take in the entirety of the message. Lil Dicky chose to have celebrities voicing animals while they are depicted doing something that relates to the animal they are playing. Some examples include a cow shooting milk into Lil Dickey’s mouth, a baboon picking its nose followed by the camera zooming into his butt, a skunk spraying Lil Dicky in the face, Kanye being the only other human in this magical place, having the elephant say “I got junk in my trunk, and having there be an HPV character that says “I’m HPV, don’t let me in”. The stylistic choices made by the producers to make the visuals and wording comedic keeps the audience engaged and interested. It is important for them to achieve this because the overall message of the video is at the end when he says “We might die, I’m not going to lie to you. I mean there are so many people out here that don’t think Global Warming is a real thing. You know we’ve got to save this planet.” If they weren’t able to keep people engaged, they might click out before hearing that. This use is overall effective because it utilizes repeated use of humor so the audience is going to want to see what will be said next. 

This video is able to use popular artists to broaden the scope of exposure while also showing that these views are shared by their idols. Lil Dicky was able to bring in a long list of famous personalities as his cast. They take the rolls of animals in the video. Each portrays a unique quality of that particular animal. Some examples include “Hey, I’m a zebra. No one knows what I do, but I look pretty cool, in my white and black”, “we are the vultures, feed on the dead”, and “I’m just a giraffe, what’s with my neck”. These artists have a wide range in the genre they work in. This means the song would have exposure to categories outside of Lil Dicky’s normal audience. He was smart to do so because now his message is covering an even broader scope than before. If listeners were watching for just one person, they would have to wait until they heard it. Because all the artists are animated animals, you can’t just skip ahead. Since followers of the artists are already fans, they would be more willing to adopt the message as their own. Fans are all members of smaller groups who share the ideology that their artist is worth listening to. By adding all these different artists in, you have now merged the smaller groups into one large group that can share this value. 

This song is able to bring people together that may not have had commonalities before by speaking about many different topics and places so everyone can relate to something. Lil Dicky covers a wide range of countries by saying “we love you India, we love you Africa, we love the chinese, we forgive you germany”. By saying the last line he is also acknowledging a wrong committed by one country and saying “we forgive you”. This is important because it encourages the audience to accept everyone, regardless of the history they may have. For further context, Lil Dicky is Jewish. Later on he also says “hey Russia, we’re cool. Hey Asia, all of you, come on. From the plains to the sahara, let's come together and live.” This follows the same line where he acknowledges tension and then says that it’s okay to let it go. There is also a section at the end where different languages are spoken. By including many languages and countries it encourages the listener to think about the world in an inclusive, big picture way when they may not have thought of it as such before. Acknowledging wrongs and saying it’s okay to forgive has a similar impact while also bringing the thought of friendship to mind. This would be productive for the spread of a message by taking away negative feelings, making people more willing to be accepting. 

This video could be seen as both limiting and productive in certain ways. It can be considered limiting because it uses language and phrases that some people would not be okay with hearing. With that being said, this video was produced with a certain audience in mind. The ones who watch it would mostly be okay with hearing what is said in it. The topic of Climate Change is so polarized that there is never going to be a situation where everyone will adopt the same view. The practice of spreading an ideology has grouped people in mind so this problem isn’t as big of a deal. Overall, this video is more productive than limiting. It shows a wide range of people and places, uses actual news clips as evidence, and stands for a positive message. By showing news clips at the very beginning, it reminds the audience that the following topics are real and prominent in society. It is also an event that happened and wasn’t made up. It is inclusive in nature and shows someone who everyone can relate to. It is also in response to scientists telling the public that there is a real imminent threat to the earth if people continue to act the way they do. 

Irvine and Kirkpatrick discuss the impact music can have in persuasion in the article titled “The Musical Form in Rhetorical Exchange: Theoretical Considerations”. One of the first points the author makes is that audiences are not expecting to get persuaded when going into listening to a song. He further explains that people are more susceptible to being persuaded because they are distracted by how the elements used are making them feel and think. The author points out the key musical elements that need to be examined, all having a range of impact. These include the ethical reputation of the source, what the audience’s views are of the rhetor before hearing the artifact, the nature of the instrumental source, how the instruments being used make the audience feel, lyrical structure, what is the message being said and does all the elements support it, melodic structure, how notes used makes the audience feel, nature of the cord structure and progression, what is the impact from cords and progression psychologically and physically, and structure of the commutative situation, how does the rhetor relate the message to the audience’s values. He then explains that rhythm is the most important element because it reduces the impact of the listener’s defense mechanisms against the rhetorical aspects being used. This can make the listener even more susceptible to being persuaded than before. The author also says the rhetor can have the intention to be either rhetorical or expressive. A rhetorical goal means they want to either reinforce or change the audience’s opinion. An expressive goal is when the rhetor wants the audience to talk about the music with other people. With this in mind, the author views music creation and listening as a transaction. The creator is “selling” a view to the audience and they can be judged on how effective their proposal is. They come up with three models that could resemble but I want to focus on the Persuasive Paradigm. In this model the interaction between familiar and unfamiliar aspects of the song pair with the rhythm to promote a situation where persuasion is accomplished (Irvine and Kirkpatrick 272-284). This relates heavily with the song “Earth” by Lil Dicky. He uses the familiarity and comfort of his comedic style paired with the possible unfamiliarity of these voices coming together. These factors coming together would throw the audience off and create the perfect opportunity to persuade them. Lil Dicky is talking about a real issue that is polarized in the current political climate of the United States. The listeners that may disagree with his message would recognize the humor and be less likely to get defensive. While that interaction is going on, there is also an upbeat and positive rhythm going in the background that would invoke a feeling of happiness and content. Overall, it makes the delivery of the message effective and persuasive. 

In the song “Earth”, Lil Dicky was able to use humor, incorporating popular artists, and using a variety of examples to constitute a group around the idea that Climate Change is a threat that needs to be addressed. He managed to touch on a topic that is known to be divisive while maintaining feelings of positivity and happiness. 

Works Cited

Foss, S.K. (2004). Ideological criticism. Rhetorical criticism (3rd ed.) (pp. 239-248). Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press.

Irvine, James R., and Walter G. Kirkpatrick. “The Musical Form in Rhetorical Exchange: Theoretical Considerations.” Quarterly Journal of Speech, vol. 58, no. 3, Oct. 1972, p. 272. EBSCOhost, https://proxy.augustana.edu:2138/10.1080/00335637209383124. 

Lil Dicky and RYOT, “Lil Dicky- Earth (Official Music Video).” YouTube, Uploaded by Lil Dicky, 18 Apr. 2019, https://youtu.be/pvuN_WvF1to 

#Youtube

[lesbianspeedy]

society if the next doctor was richard ayoade with aisling bea companion

#‘lil dicky if you wouldn’t mind’ #‘you’ve got the small talk guy right here.’ #’yes just banter away with your whitty anecdotes!’ #’White Chicks starts with-‘ #but make it doctor who #i spelt witty wrong let’s not get into that #no i haven’t watched this season or the special with aisling they’re just my two fav comedians #obviously massive nerd and massive bird are also a dream doctor companion duo but this about aisling my beloved

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Hello From The Other Side - fic

Characters: Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth Summary: Dick returns from his life as Ric, and finds he has quite a few missed calls. From Damian, of all people. A/N: Based on ‘Hello’ by Adele. Vaguely surrounds current comics situations with Damian and/or Dick. Sorry this sucks hard knobs.

~~

Dick found himself smiling as he walked in the manor’s front door.

He missed this place.

Or, well, rather, he would have. If he remembered it.

But when he did remember it, oh boy, did he miss it.

“Hello?” He called, listening to his voice echo. He hoped someone was home, anyone. He…he hadn’t seen his family in years now, and his throat still tightened at the thought.

No one responded, and Dick found himself fighting back the feeling of disappointment. Of course no one was home, it was the middle of the afternoon. If they weren’t at their various jobs, they were probably sleeping off recent patrols, or maybe down in the cave. Or, you know, at their own homes.

Only Bruce and Damian lived at the manor anymore, he was pretty sure. Maybe.

…He actually didn’t know.

Suddenly, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat from a room nearby, and Dick gravitated towards the noise.

He walked into the kitchen, and found Alfred, moving about the center island, opening and closing drawers and cabinets.

“Alfie?” Dick asked hopefully, smile widening on his face. “Long time no see.”

“Master Richard.” Alfred returned with a quick glance. “My boy, it is so good to see you. The real you.”

“Yeah, I feel a lot better.” Dick laughed, rubbing at the side of his head, where that scar was hidden by his too-long hair. “…Thanks for coming to see me when I was...that other guy.” A pause. “I…do remember that still.”

“My pleasure, sir.” Alfred promised, continuing to shuffle through the drawers. “As if I’d ever give up on one of you children. Amnesia didn’t stop me the last time. Of course it wouldn’t this time.”

“And how awful that we live such lives where there was a last time?” Dick lamented. He watched Alfred for a minute more as he moved from the island to the pantry. “…What are you looking for?”

“Something I need to give you.” Alfred grunted, pushing a bag of sugar out of the way on a shelf. “I meant to search for it prior to your arrival, but…” Alfred frowned. “Things came up.”

Dick didn’t like how he said that last sentence. He…he hadn’t seen anyone since he remembered, only talked to Bruce on the phone, said he was coming back. But Alfred said that as if…

He shook his head. He could deal with that later.

“Can I help you search?” Dick asked instead.

“No need, dear boy. It’s in this kitchen somewhere.” Alfred continued, standing on his tiptoes and reaching along the highest shelf. “I know it’s in here. It’s the only place none of your snooping siblings come regularly, so I knew they’d never think to search here, should they ever want it for some reason.”

“It?” Dick pushed. “What’s it-”

“Aha!” Alfred exclaimed. His hand wrapped around something the size of a thin deck of cards and he yanked it down excitedly. “Here it is.”

Alfred ran his hand along it, pushing off any dust. He turned towards Dick and Dick was almost taken aback by how much older the beloved man looked.

“For you, sir.” Alfred held it out like it was precious.

“It’s…” Dick frowned, confused, but took the device anyway. “Alfie, it’s just my old cell phone.” An airy laugh. “You didn’t have to keep this. I’m…kind of surprised Bruce asked you to, actually. Figured he would have cancelled the service, especially after how Ric acted when he left town.”

“Oh, Master Bruce didn’t ask me to keep it. I did on my own.” Alfred explained, watching as Dick pressed the button on the side to turn the phone on. “It was a…hopeful just-in-case.”

“Oh yeah? And what does that mean?” Dick smirked. His phone’s home screen popped to life, a picture of Cass and Kori painting Jason and Roy’s toenails, but was instantly taken over by a wave of seemingly never-ending notifications.

“…It means we missed you, Dick.” Alfred smiled as he put a hand on Dick’s shoulder. “More than we could ever say.”

Dick found himself frowning as the notifications didn’t slow. By the icons, he could tell a lot of them were texts and voicemails, and in theory, that shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise. The surprise came from the fact that these calls were recent, not all of them from years ago, and that most of them, it appeared, were coming from Damian.

Damian who…knew exactly where he was.

“Alfred, what…?”

“I hid your phone when I noticed him calling, after Ric returned to Bludhaven.” Alfred whispered sadly. “Just…just in case you ever returned to us. So you could hear what he said.”

Dick felt his heart sink a little bit.

“And to be clear, I did not eavesdrop.” Alfred swore. “I do not know what any of the messages entail. But I’m sure they’re very…emotionally charged.”

Dick snorted a bitter laugh. “I’m sure that’s an understatement.”

“Indeed.” Alfred returned the laughter. “Now, if you don’t mind, I need to begin your welcome home meal.”

“Of course. I’ll get out of your way.” Dick smiled. “But just one more thing.”

Before Alfred could ask, Dick leaned forward, wrapping the old man in a tight embrace.

“Missed you, Alfie.” Dick murmured.

“Thank you for returning to me.” Alfred breathed back, returning the hug with an intense squeeze.

After their quiet, and far too quick, reunion, Dick bid him adieu, and headed upstairs. He went to his own bedroom, knowing that Alfred had already cleaned and dusted everything, and opened the door to the sweet smell of a burning candle on the nightstand.

He smiled at the scent and then flopped down onto his back on the mattress. He missed this bed. This room. This house.

This life.

He reopened his phone, and looked at the bright red notifications. Thousands of texts, hundreds of voicemails. Emails, he just…wasn’t even going to look at that number.

He hit the voicemails button first, Alfred’s words fresh in his mind. And sure enough, the list was just a constant repetition of Damian’s name, with a few others here and there, including his other siblings and hero friends.

None of the voicemails were very long. A minute, tops, in most cases. Fifteen to twenty seconds for the majority. So he went to the bottom, the very first voicemail on the list that belonged to Damian.

“…This is stupid.” The message started. Damian was speaking softly. “I’m…I’m sitting right next to you. In the hospital. You’re stable, but unconscious. The doctor keeps saying she doesn’t know if you’ll wake up.”

A ruffling, like he was shifting in a chair. “Well, you better, okay? You better wake up. Or else.”

Another pause. In the background, Dick could hear the beeping of a heart monitor.

“…Todd suggested this. Leaving voicemails for when you do wake up. Something to laugh about when you’re all better. Or as a memento, so you don’t feel like you missed anything. Or something. I don’t know.” An annoyed huff, and the repetition of: “This is so stupid.”

Then click.

Dick blinked, and went to the next message, and the next. The first ten or so from Damian were all similar messages, all recorded when he apparently was sitting at Dick’s hospital bed. The only difference between them were that Damian sounded sadder and sadder each time. Less hopeful.

There was at least one a day, sometimes more but normally not. Then suddenly for almost a week, there was nothing, not from Damian at least. Then his name reappeared, and the message was not its typical fifteen seconds. It was a minute and a half.

“…You woke up.” Damian choked out, and instantly Dick knew he was crying. “You woke up and you don’t remember any of us.” His breath was heavy, and he heard the desperate, quiet meows of Alfred behind him, trying to get his attention. “And you don’t want to remember any of us.”

Ten seconds of nothing but watery breathing. A gentle woof from Titus.

“Did someone tell you what I did, is that why? Did they tell you who I used to be?” Damian whispered. “Is that why you don’t want to know me anymore? You forgave my sins before, when we were partners. You remembered how heinous they actually were, didn’t you? And how stupid you were for forgiving me in the first place.”

Another long pause. Damian sniffed, and blew his nose.

“I…I should have been there, then this wouldn’t have happened.” Damian continued, almost like he forgot he was on the phone. “I would have seen the gunman. I would have pushed you out of the way. Father could have…done something.”

A heavy sigh.

“I would have killed him for looking at you. For daring to try and hurt…” A loud gulp that sounded painful. “I don’t know why I’m doing this anymore. You’re not coming back. This is a waste of time.”

The line dropped.

Dick winced as he went back to the list. If that was how this started…he had a feeling it didn’t get any better.

Which made the next one a surprise. Back to a short length. But despite it being under Damian’s name, the first voice he heard was Jason’s.

“Dickie!” Jason slurred, and immediately Dick knew he was drunk. In the background he heard laughter that sounded like Tim, and Damian shouting Jason’s name in annoyance. “We miss you, dude. Big time. Also, why’d you never share your kid with us? He’s cute. And I’m…a little insulted.”

“Todd.” Damian’s voice was closer now, and there was shuffling. “Give me back the damn phone!”

“Okay, I’m a lot insulted. Also, who taught him to swear so much? I swear, Bruce blushed at the way your lil’ baby boy cursed out the Penguin the other night.”

“Todd!” Damian called again. Suddenly Jason grunted, and Damian’s voice was right there, almost as if he was on Jason’s back. “Give me-”

There was the sound of a scuffle, and halfhearted “Hey!” from Jason, and suddenly all sound disappeared.

“…Sorry, Grayson.” Damian muttered, sounding genuine. “Todd was…upset. About…well, you, I guess, and got himself drunk over it.”

A pause, followed by a quick scoff. “What am I-”

The line cut off.

That one made Dick smile a little bit. But also sigh. The amnesia…did a whole lot more damage than to just his mind, it appeared.

He clicked the next.

“…I keep drawing you.” Damian whispered. “Cassandra brought it to my attention. I didn’t…didn’t realize.”

Dick could hear the scratch of a pencil in the background.

“She asked why, and I told her I didn’t know. Perhaps I just missed you. That seemed to satisfy her.” Damian hummed. He didn’t sound upset, like he had previously, but he also didn’t sound happy. He didn’t sound anything. “That’s not the real reason, though.” Stop. “I mean, it is. I do miss you.” A bitter laugh. “I miss you terribly and I hate myself for it because I probably shouldn’t.” Dick frowned at that. “But it’s not why.”

A quick scribble, then the turning of a page.

“It’s because I think…I think I’ll forget.” Damian breathed. “I’ll forget what you look like.” A small grunt. “Or, at least, what you looked like. When you were you.”

A few seconds of silence.

“You go by Ric, now. That’s disgusting.” Damian noted. “Barbara says you’re a cab driver now. Interesting choice. Very not you, that’s for sure.”

The clatter of pencils. A quiet meow from Alfred nearby.

“…But if it makes you happy, I guess.” Damian sighed. Dick absently wondered where Damian’s sketchbooks were, if anyone had seen them. If they still existed. “…I hope you’re happy, Grayson. Whatever you’re doing.”

The line clicked.

As he scrolled through the list, he wondered if Damian would show him the drawings he mentioned if he asked.

The next one he picked was from a few months later, and time stamped as two in the morning.

The first noise was the wind, a sound Dick knew well. Nothing like the howl of the breeze from on top of a skyscraper. The next was the flapping of a cape.

Damian’s voice was tinny, and clearly through his mask communicator, not a phone.

“…Father and I are fighting.” Damian said bluntly. “My team…my team doesn’t trust me. Not that they should, I suppose. Trust is for the weak. So, in theory, it makes them each stronger heroes.”

A bird fluttered by.

“I mean, I’m lying to them as well, so. They shouldn’t.” Damian reiterated. “I…”

He stopped again, and for a moment, the shuddering breath that echoed made Dick wonder if he was injured. If maybe he thought he was dying. It sounded like a confession.

“You’d be so disappointed in me, Grayson.” Damian sighed. “I…what I’m doing isn’t good. It’s…violent. And I’m hiding it. From the Titans, from Father. Not like Father cares where I am or what I’m doing anymore. I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

A few seconds of just Damian breathing.

“…I looked in the mirror the other day. For the first time in a while. It’s not like I was avoiding mirrors, I just…wasn’t thinking about them. But I did the other day and I…I don’t think I recognized myself.” Another flutter of wings and a light coo. Dick imagined the bird had landed on Damian’s hand. “I…didn’t really know who I was looking at. It took me a minute to realize I was looking at myself.”

The rustle of one of his belt pouches. The happy cooing of the bird again.

“…Something’s wrong with me.” Damian whispered, and he almost sounded terrified. “I…I’m trying my best. I’m trying to save people. I’m trying to be what people think I should be, what Father wants me to be, but…I feel like I’m drowning. Like I’m cracking. Like I’m about to shatter into a million pieces.”

Dick felt a lump in his throats at the words. This wasn’t good. Because normally, Damian only admitted something was wrong when it was too late to fix it. So how long did he feel this way? How long was he and Bruce really so estranged?

What was Damian doing that he was keeping so hidden?

“Drake says I’m still grieving you, and that I’m in the midst of some sort of…downward spiral. Then he said it was funny, because you were similar when I died.”

Dick could agree with that.

“But…you had your friends. You still had the family. I…” An angry huff. “You were the only person to ever care about me Grayson, and I have no one.”

The wind blew in the background again, and it sounded like it was wailing.

“I have no one.” Damian repeated softly. Then he snorted. “Maybe, somehow, this is your fault. Maybe without you, I really am a hopeless case. You were my conscious, so without you I am just the evil assassin who needs to be stopped, thrown in prison or eradicated.”

Another pause, and Dick heard the bird fly off.

“…I’m lost, Grayson. And I…I guess I’m scared.” Damian whispered. “Of Father’s true feelings for me, of the future…of myself.”

Another sigh, and suddenly Damian’s voice was full of tears.

“I’m just trying so hard, Grayson. I’m trying my best. But it’s still not good enough. I still can’t get Father to look at me. I still can’t save anyone. I…I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

A moment, to let himself cry, and Dick’s heart broke with every beat listening to it.

“I hope you’re doing well without me. Without the family.” Damian breathed, trying to regain his composure. “Because I am not doing as well without you.”

Dick heard the phantom sound of a beep, the alert for another line calling.

“I miss you.” Damian whispered. “I miss you so much, Grayson. I hope you’re doing okay.”

The line clicked.

Dick glanced back at the metadata for the call. That was less than a year ago. Eight, ten months perhaps?

He hadn’t seen Damian since he returned. Hell, no one had even mentioned him. But no one said anything had happened either…

Dick swallowed that lump in his throat, went looking for more messages.

One was only six seconds.

“Jon went away for three weeks. He’s now seventeen years old, and going to live in the thirty-first century.” Damian explained. “Why do the people I care about keep changing? Keep leaving?”

Another even shorter one a few days later.

“Titus pooped in Drake’s room. I’m not cleaning it up. It’s what he deserves.”

There were a string of them, almost every other day for about three weeks. Each short, and none of them pertaining to Damian’s long, distressing message.

“It rained today, and I wore your sweatshirt outside. Sorry.”

“Father called me back to town to help with a case. He didn’t say four words to me the whole time I was here.”

“It’s…hard today, Grayson.”

“My animals miss you.”

“Todd misses you.”

“Gordon misses you today.”

“I think I saw Pennyworth crying over you in the kitchen this morning.”

“I had a dream about you. You were dead. Your ghost followed me around. I think I preferred it to our current situation.”

“I had a nightmare about you. You were a Talon sent to kill me. I should have let you.”

“…I miss you, Grayson. I don’t know what else to say.”

Dick’s heart was twisting. No one noticed Damian was making these calls beside Alfred? No one talked to him? He was just…left to deal with this alone?

After that three week period, there weren’t any for a month or two. Dick even checked for text messages, and there was none from Damian. He was surprised by that too, surprised Damian never texted him during his time away. Always put in the extra effort, extra time, to call. To let the phone ring, listen to his answering machine, and say what was one his mind.

He went back to the list of voicemails, and went in search of Damian’s next one. And he found it – right next to one from Tim a few minutes before it.

So he listened to Tim’s first.

“…It’s a mess here without you, Dick.” Tim said with a sigh. “Something’s going on with Damian and Bruce, and no one seems to know what it is. Hell, I don’t think they even know, honestly. But it’s tense and awful being here. Can’t help but think this – whatever this is – wouldn’t have happened if you were still here.”

The computer dinged in the background, and Dick heard the chair shift as Tim leaned forward.

“Damian’s about to snap. No one can reach him.” Tim sounded concerned, and Dick was almost surprised by that. “He won’t let anyone reach him. He’s reminding me of how he was when he first came here, and that’s scary. But I’m not you. No one is you, and we can’t figure it out. We ask and he ignores the question. We offer support and he disappears.”

Another sigh.

“Bruce doesn’t even ask.”

Dick found himself wincing at that.

“…We miss you, Dick.” Tim mumbled. “But at least you’re safe down in Bludhaven, and away from all this shit.”

Tim ended the call.

Immediately, Dick went to Damian’s call, that he made only moments later.

“…I have to leave. I can’t do this anymore.” Damian whispered. “I can’t stay here. I can’t stay in this life. I can’t stay in this mantle.”

There was no sound behind him. Nothing. He obviously wasn’t in the cave, that’s where Tim clearly was. But was he in the house? Was he outside? Was he already gone?

“I…I’m sorry I let you down, Grayson. I’m sorry I’ve destroyed the name you, for some reason I still don’t understand, thought I deserved. But I won’t take Robin with me. I’ll leave it here. I won’t tarnish it anymore.” More silence. Dick couldn’t even hear Damian breathing. “…Do you think Father will even notice I’m gone? Do you think he’ll care?”

Dick waited in the quiet.

“Because I don’t.” Damian admitted. “But…maybe that’s alright. It’ll make it easier for me to do what I need to. No distractions.”

Suddenly, there was a small hitch in his breath, and Dick heard the tears instantly.

“I’ll miss him, despite it all. He is still my father. He still let me meet you.” Damian breathed. “But I need to do this. I need to. And I don’t know if I’ll come back. Maybe if you do.”

A bitter laugh.

“But we all know that isn’t happening.” Damian let out a long exhale. “I’m sorry, Grayson. I’m sorry I couldn’t…be what you thought I could be. And I’m sorry…I didn’t appreciate you while you were here. I never thought losing you would be my undoing. Would put me on a path that would lead to something like this. I thought…I thought I’d be with you and the family forever. Now I’m escaping into the night with nothing but a backpack. I’m not even taking this phone. Don’t want to be tracked and all that.”

As Damian spoke, Dick glanced at the call’s info again. This wasn’t that long ago. Three months.

“Thank you for everything. I’m sorry I messed it all up. I still miss you. I…still love you.” Damian sniffed. “I hope you and I cross paths again one day, even if you’re still Ric.”

Then…nothing. The call ended. Dick scrolled the list to find another one, but there was no more. No more calls from Damian’s phone. Not even anymore from the family. A few friends, a few doctor’s appointment reminders.

Dick sighed, dropping the phone onto his chest and closing his eyes. He knew he missed a lot. He knew he missed lifetimes.

But this…

The front door squeaked open. “We’re here!”

Despite it all, Dick found himself smiling. It was Tim.

He slid off his bed, leaving the phone behind, and jogged into and down the hall. But he found himself freezing at the landing.

Because it wasn’t just Tim. Damian was with him.

He was taller now, and full-on teenager lanky. His cheekbones were more pronounced, arms too long for the sweatshirt he wore. Already, Dick could see a few new scars he didn’t remember, even from this distance.

Dick frowned. The voicemail just said…?

Regardless, none of his confusion stopped him from all but flying down the stairs. Damian and Tim were chatting as they took off their shoes, so they didn’t see him coming, not until he engulfed Tim in his arms, and practically tackled him to the ground.

“Hey little brothers.” His voice was muffled against Tim’s shoulder.

Tim laughed, throwing his arms around Dick. “God, am I glad to see you.”

“Glad to be back.” He released Tim, but stared down at him. He looked tired. More tired than he normally did.

But he didn’t dwell on it, immediately turning to Damian and wrapping him up in his arms, lifting him and giving him a quick spin.

“Augh, Grayson!” Damian admonished, but laughed in the process, clinging to Dick’s neck. Even when Dick put him down, he didn’t release him, keeping his face hidden in Damian’s hair.

“Kiddo.” Dick whispered. “What’s new?”

Because should he outright say that he knew? Should he confront Damian – and Tim, really – right here and now? Or play dumb? Alfred said no one knew he kept the phone, after all.

“Everything.” Damian chuckled. “It has been a while, after all.” But Damian pulled back, and Dick’s heart swelled at the obvious reluctance to the movement. He felt no different, of course. “But a conversation for later. Not in the doorway. Has Pennyworth finished preparations?”

Like a snake, Damian slid away, practically running to the kitchen. A tactic to avoid conversation, Dick knew it well. He sighed, and glanced at Tim.

Tim was already watching him curiously. “…Do you know?”

“I know a little.” Dick admitted. “I…Alfred saved my phone. I got your voicemails. And his. I know he…left? He’s not Robin anymore?”

Tim shook his head. “He’s only here because I spent a week tracking him down. Bruce…didn’t even try to contact him to tell him you’re back. But I knew despite it all, he’d want to be here.”

“Does Bruce know he’ll be here tonight? For this?”

“No.” Tim mumbled. “And even when he sees him, Jay, Cass and I have already made a plan to keep the two as far away from each other as possible. Tonight’s about you, not what’s going on with them.”

“Think they’ll tell me what’s going on? Later, after dinner?”

Tim shrugged. “You know how Bruce is. Damian…he already told me he doesn’t want to stay long, probably to avoid talking to Bruce. But he missed you like crazy, so I don’t see him trying to sneak away until you guys get to talk one on one. So…he might.”

Dick pursed his lips. “…A lot has changed, hasn’t it?”

Tim gave him a sour grin. “More than you’d ever believe.”

“…Well, I’ll tell you one thing that hasn’t.” Dick offered. He wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulders, reeled him into his side. “Still love you like crazy, squirt.”

Tim smiled genuinely now, hooking his own arm around Dick’s waist and pushing him towards the kitchen. “You better, old man.”

Dick laughed, kissed Tim’s head. “Missed you.”

“Missed you more.” Tim countered as they reached the doorway. They stopped there, leaning against each other. “…But probably still not as much as he did.”

Damian was awkwardly standing in front of Alfred as the old man looked him over, critiqued his lack of hair cut and skinniness. Alfred said something scolding and Damian laughed.

Dick inhaled and, without releasing Tim, walked over to him, once again tugging him into an embrace. An unspoken group hug.

Damian was still laughing. “Grayson, what on earth!”

“Just give me a minute, Damian.” Dick whispered, leaning his head between Tim and Damian’s. “Give me a minute.”

A minute before everyone’s here. A minute before Bruce brings tension. A minute before I learn what really happened. A minute before you try to disappear back into the night again.

He didn’t say any of that, but Damian seemed to know. He always seemed to know.

“Okay.” He whispered, as Tim silently wrapped his free arm around Damian’s back too. Damian glanced at him, but Tim just kept his gaze lowered. It was not the night for him to share his emotions on the subject.

So Damian shifted to hold them both, too.

“…Okay, Grayson.”

#dick grayson #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Alfred Pennyworth

[trashystar420]

CHAPTER 3!!! Babysitter Maribat AU AGE Reversed Chapter 3!

Well here’s chapter three, not sure how good it is. A bit OOC here so yeah.

Selina awoke from the annoying buzzing from her cellphone resting on the night stand. It was Bruce?!? Selina immediately answered.

“Wh-THE MANSION IS IN ONE PIECE SELINA!!!!! Do you know what this means!?!?” Before the older woman could respond, Bruce interrupted her, again.

“ I can take you out on dates, I can actually focus on work without having to stress over them, I can actually feel confident walking into my home to NOT find it in pieces!!!! Selina please you must give me that lady’s number!!! Selina Love!!!” Selina was too stunned to even respond. How were you supposed to respond when the BRUCE WAYNE, stotic man who feels nothing, shows more emotion then he has in the last thirty years. Not that this was a bad thing, for a happy Bruce meant a GRAND time in the bed.

The cat lady licked her lips, eager to have the man in her bed yet again. She really must thank that girl for doing this for her.

“Brucie Dear, could you please slow down, I can barely stay awake, especially from last night.” She purred. What she didn’t expect was the tone in his answer.

“Oh, I know and I can keep coming back, IF you give me that young lady’s number.” Shit, since when did he get this aggressive!??!? The poor lady was blushing a new shade of red. Bruce wasn’t the type to be this aggressive. Now she REALLY must thank Marinette.

“Ugh let me talk to her first, then we’ll see.” And she cut the call. Getting up from her bed, Selina’s nightgown slipped out of her shoulders. The proof of Bruce’s late night visit was all over her neck and upper chest area. Blushing at the reminder of what went down that night, Selina made up her mind and called Marinette quickly.

...

...

...

“Mari dear, I’m sorry, were you sleeping?” She asked wincing that she woke the poor girl up, she wasn’t much of a morning person, much like herself.

“Mmmm” the older lady chuckled.

“Hey Mari dear, you know the babysitting gig I set you up for?” Somehow that woke Marinette up.

“OH NO DID I DO A TERRIBLE JOB?!? What if he fires me?!? What if he blacklists me and I can never get my dream job!?? Am I going to jail I can’t go there Selin- Marinette calm down!!!” Selina finally calmed the now sobbing Bluenette over the phone.

After a few minutes of Selina calming the girl down, Marinette was now in a better state of mind to listen to what Selina had to say.

“So he actually wants me to be a permanent babysitter?” She clarified. Selina confirmed.

“Why is this so hard for you to believe?” Selina asked annoyed. The young designer chuckled, as though the older woman knew no better.

“don’t you think it’s a bit weird how he hasn’t even had me for a week to SEE if I was good or not? What about a proper background check?!? For all he knows I could be a suspicious person who is in it for his fortune or something?” Selina rolled her eyes. Leave it to Marinette to start overanalyzing.

“That’s because I recommended you to him dearie, are you saying I have poor judge of character?” She teased.

“Yes” she retorts back then precedes to laugh, Selina gave a pout but let it slide. She really owed Marinette this.

“So Selina, how was it?” Mari asked in a mocking tone. Selina heaved a sigh.

“It was absolutely Devine Mari Darling. It was perfect, though I think the neighbors might complain over the noise.” The more experienced woman smirked. Marinette blushes on the other line and quickly chastised her.

“Selina!”

“You asked for it!”

“Ugh so should I call him?”

...

...

...

The Wayne’s were currently seated in the dining room, everyone eating the breakfast Alfred made for them. What was unusual about this morning was Bruce’s mood visibly brighten, which set everyone else other than Alfred off.

Tim reaches over to lil Dick.

“Why do you think he’s in such a good mood?” Dick asked. Tim being the know-it-all he is, gave an answer.

“Bruce got to go out with Selina, and came home to find the house not in shambles.” He whispered, fearing that the good mood his father has will dissolve.

“Father, are you ok?” Damien asked. His father smiling unnerved him. Something about it felt really unnatural.

“Never felt better.” He responded too quickly for Damien’s liking. Jason was just poking his pancake with a fork. Alfred looked concerned, usually Jason loved eating anything and everything.

“ What is the matter Master Jason? Are the pancakes not to your liking?” The butler asked. Jason shook his head, then looked at Bruce with fierce determination burning in his eyes.

“Hey Bruce.” The man looked at the young boy feeling slightly apprehensive.

“Did having sex with Aunt Selina really feel that good?” Bruce immediately spits his drink. Tim was on the floor bawling, while Damien did his best to look unaffected, but ultimately snickered. Dick, being the innocent bean that he is, wonders out loud what sex is.

A blushing Bruce told his clueless son it meant nothing, while Alfred gave a disapproving look to the troublesome brat.

“Master Jason was that appropriate?” Before Jason could answer, Tim gave a ‘yes’ in response to the question. More laughter persisted as Alfred gave a dejected sigh, Dick being clueless, and Bruce wanting the earth to swallow him whole.

The phone left on the counter buzzed. Quirking an eyebrow, Alfred retrieves the phone for Bruce.

“Unknown number?” Bruce took the phone and accepted the call. He waited on the other line with baited breathe thinking it would be another spam caller. Instead a familiar feminine voice spoke.

“A-Are you Mr.Bruce? The one who needed a last minute babysitter? Selina told me that you were planning on making me a permanent one...”

“Ah Ms.Dupain-Cheng, did Selina give you my number?”

“Yes, sorry to call you so early.”

“Ah I wouldn’t worry about that. Anyways this is good timing, I need to talk to you about being a babysitter. I made sure to deliver you your check in the mail. You should have gotten it by now.” Shuffling was heard from Bruce’s line. And some crashing noises. Bruce was close to wincing.

“Ah um... si-sir y-you didn’t”

“Oh yes I did”

“But sir this is $10,000!!! Isn’t that much for babysitting two kids, well behaved ones at that?!?” The entire mansion echoed the laughter that came from the businessman.

“It’s because they behaved so well that I gave you that much, but now that I think about it. Perhaps I should give you three extra zeroes.” He replied. Now everyone was listening in on the conversation.

“NO! I-I mean, Monsier Wayne, please this is considered too much for a babysitting job, and for a day. Please I can’t accept this.” Bruce wasn’t having any of it.

“Oh no I insist you have been a great help. You have no idea how hard it is to manage those troublemakers.”

“You must be joking, the boys have been nothing but angels”

“ either way no take backs” Bruce stubbornly stated. The boys couldn’t pick up what Marinette said over the phone that was muffled by Bruce.

“Can you come at least once a week?” He asked. More muffled digital voices in. The boys gaped as their well respected father, fist-bumped to himself like a little kid getting the best thing in the world. Alfred had merely begun cleaning up after the Waynes.

“Yes you can cancel in advance if something comes up.” He answers

“Yes you can take the boys out, but make sure it is not passed 7.” Jason and Dick perked up at that. Even Damien had to do a double take on that. Tim was listening intently to every little tid-bit.

“You want to start by the beginning of next week?” Bruce asked to confirm.

“I would be glad to Monsieur Bruce.” Marinette finished.

“Please Ms.Dupain-Cheng call me Bruce.”

“Only if you call me Marinette.”

“Then it is settled, Marinette.”

“See you next week Mon- er - i mean B-Bruce.” And the call ended. Bruce was half tempted to do a happy dance, but after looking at his boys, decided not too.

“Now everyone, I expect you all to be in the bat cave by 8, we have another serious meeting to discuss. But right now. ‘Looks at wristwatch’ looks like I have to get going.” And off Bruce went. His kids could only stare as he took off in his very expensive looking car.

“Miss.M-Marinette is going to babysit us!” Squealed Dick while Jason grinned from ear to ear.

“I’m so gonna beat pixie-bob at ultimate mecha strike three!!!” Jason spoke determinately. Tim just sipped more of his coffee, realizing he’s gonna need another mug and walks to the kitchen to make some more.

“That harlot is simply humoring you two.” Damien answered, while looking away. Dick and Jason were clearly offended by that statement.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Dick screeched as he racked his older brother who was completely caught off guard.

“Yeah lil Dickie teach Demon Spawn a lesson!!!! Jason cheered from the sidelines, and Damien struggles to get the flexible boy of him. Dick eventually kicks Damien in the family jewels.

“Ahhhhhhh oh you are so gonna- eat shit Bitch!” As Jason threw a chair at the incompacitated Damien. The two younger boys fled the scene as a rather pissed off Damien got up. Alfred offered him an ice-pack and he reluctantly took it.

“When I get my hands on those two.” As he stormed off after his idiotic brothers.

...

...

...

“Tikki!!!!!!!!” The super heroine pleaded. The small goddess just gave her a look.

“Just take it in strive Marinette”

“But it’s $10,000!!!!! Don’t you think it’s too much!?!?”

“I don’t know, sounds to me like those boys were not so nice to begin with Mari” Mari scoffed. How could anyone think anything bad of Jason and Dick. They were absolute angels and totally adorable.

“Please Tikki, your just jealous.” The kwami just gave her a look, before muttering ‘clueless holders’

“I heard that!”

“That’s kind of the point!” The kwami sighed. It’s going to be quite the adventure.

#@BlueRosette23 #@novicevoice #@weird-pale-blonde-person #@theatrendcomicfreak @Caffeinetheory @liawinchester67 #@ladysblackcat @derpingrainbow @thecatnipmademedoit #@vivian077 @dur55 @interobanginyourmom #@legendaryneckjudgestudent @persephonebutkore @zalladane #damien x marinette #maridami #maribat #older damian wayne #bruce x selina #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupen chang

[starryevermore]

paradise island: a review

A note before we begin: everything above the cut will be spoiler free and will just be my general feelings about the story as a whole, the writing, and if I’d recommend it. Everything below the cut will include spoilers to explain my feelings about the story.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Visiting the North Shore had been a bizarre and unsettling experience, to say the least, but when they got home after vacation was over, he was going to suggest to Colby that they make a video about it.

Hell, no. Even better. Write a book. Videos melted away after a while, but a book? Books and stories solidified on the conscious mind forever. (91-92)

Overall, I enjoyed this book. I generally enjoy stories like this, but there were a few moments throughout the novel where things just fell a bit flat. 

While I was reading, I made a few notes, the first being that there was a weird juxtaposition between talking about more adult topics (drinking, women, sex, etc.) but in an odd, almost kid-friendly way. Some of the word choices were interesting, such as constant use of “fancy-pants”, “hottie”, “goofball”, “oddball”, and “doofus”, as well as the one moment where Colby said he hated “dicky” people and the moment where Sam said Colby was about to have an “emo-ruption”. (Though I did laugh a lot longer than I should have at “emo-ruption”.) It felt like they were still trying to make the story appropriate for their younger fans by using more kid-friendly language, while also appealing to their older fans by being like “look!! we drink!! and ooh look, we talked about smoking weed 👀🤪”. I wish they would’ve committed to one or the other, because it added an odd sense of disjointedness to the story that could’ve been easily resolved.

The other big thing I made note of was that there was a lot of “tell, not show” throughout. There’s a heavy focus on dialogue to progress the story rather than seeing into the boys’ inner thoughts and using other means to find out information. (I’m not one to talk, though, since I also focus more on dialogue than description.) It sometimes made it difficult to fully get into the story. I struggled with developing a picture of what the Belle Estate looked like, or what the other characters (beside SNC, Nate, and Alex) looked like. In terms of the boys, it seemed very reliant on us knowing who Sam and Colby are and what they’re all about (which is fair, since probably 99.9% of people who bought the book are fans of them but, if they want success outside of their audience, it could’ve been more descriptive in that regard). 

As for the big twist at the end, it was a bit lackluster. I’ll go more in detail on this in the “spoiler section”, but it kind of diminished everything that had happened throughout the story and left me wondering “what was the point?”. 

I was excited when I’d heard that the story was told through both Sam and Colby’s POVs, but, I’ll be honest, I saw little difference between Sam’s chapters than Colby’s chapters. The most difference was the almost stereotypical portrayal of Sam being the logical one while Colby being the emotional one. Aside from that, they were almost indistinguishable from me and I often had to flip back to the start of a chapter to remind myself of who’s head I was in.

Since that was all critical, here’s some things I did like:

I feel like, while the inner monologues were a bit lacking, Gaby did make up for it by making the dialogue between the boys really realistic to them. In this regard, she really nailed the portrayal of them. 

The depiction of the paranormal things was really great. I feel like those parts were the ones I could get most into the story. The way Gaby wrote them was so interesting and pulled me in. I wish there was more of these moments throughout the story, because I think they really showcased who Gaby is as a writer.

The convo where Colby called Sam “Velma” and then Nate asked if Colby was “Fred”? I really enjoyed that because (a) Scooby is my favorite thing in the whole world and (b) I chose Sam and Colby be Velma and Fred in my moodboards a month ago so just a lil fun moment for me.

Just how meta the book was. Like, the quote I included at the top? I laughed for way too long when I read that. 

There was a nice sense of nostalgia throughout, specifically when they brought up their YouTube channel, their Vine days, them being arrested, wining a Teen Choice Award, and Corey and the Shadowman. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and reminded me of how proud I am for how far they’ve come.

*slight spoiler here* Speaking of being arrested, there was a moment where SNC were contemplating escaping to the beach and they had a conversation if it was worth being arrested again. I really loved that, especially with how much fans joke about them inevitably being arrested again.

This is more for the person who designed the cover, but holy shit?? I loved it so much?? 

I don’t know if I would have picked this book up if it didn’t have Sam and Colby’s name attached to it. I will say, though, I finished the book in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me nowadays, so it was engaging. I think, overall, it was a great story with a great concept but it could’ve been fleshed out more. In some ways, it almost felt like this was a draft rather than a completed novel. 

That being said, for SNC’s first book and Gaby’s first time working with the boys, it exceeded my expectations. If they were to continue writing books together, I imagine it will get better and better as they get more used to each other and potentially open up more so that their characters become a more accurate depiction of them.

Overall, the book’s not something you really need to race out to get. I think, if you have a gift card or there’s some sort of deal or you need to spend a little more to get free shipping, it wouldn’t hurt to pick up Paradise Island. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a great, top-tier novel in my opinion. That being said, if you do pick it up, I think you will enjoy the book.

Spoiler Avenue

The characterization of all four of the boys is a bit 2D. Sam’s logical and wants to keep the peace, Colby’s emotional and more of a wildcard, Nate’s focused on his schoolwork and flexing his vocabulary, and Alex? Well, I couldn’t get a good read on Alex until he sells out SNC at the end of the novel and even then, he didn’t feel so much like his own character, more like someone just present to further the plot.

Speaking of characters, the introduction of Trey was...meh. I wish we could’ve gotten more insight on why Colby was so adamant about not liking Trey and why Nate was so gung ho to ditch their plans to go to the North side of the island for this guy they barely knew. Finding out that Colby didn’t like Trey because he said college was the only way to success was such an odd thing? Like, undoubtedly there’s been many people who would’ve said that, so does Colby also dislike everyone who’s said that or is there a more specific reason he didn’t like Trey? Just...👏🏻 more 👏🏻 inner 👏🏻 thoughts 👏🏻 please 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 thank 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 

@golbrocklovely​ brought this up in her review but Colby’s fixation on the  mermaid statue of a 16-year-old was really odd. It probably wouldn’t have been as odd if Amy was aged up a bit to 18, but as a 16-year-old with the descriptions that were given? Yeah...not the vibe.

I also wasn’t a fan of how so many things plot-wise was just...told to the boys. They could’ve found some newspaper clippings or something, anything to make them put in a little bit of detective work. But for so much information to just be handed to them? It got old, and almost lazy. 

The big twist being that all of the paranormal stuff they’d encountered being a hallucination? God, that was so fucking annoying (though I did go back afterwards from the moment that they first arrived at the Belle Estate—starting as early as page 36—and it felt incredibly obvious knowing now that it was all drugs, so props to Gaby for dropping that many hints early on). To spend so much time making all of this scary shit happen just to turn around and say “HAHA JK THE BOYS WERE JUST TRIPPING BALLS” was such a cop out. It would’ve been more terrifying for it all to be real, make the boys question their beliefs and the reality of there being something out there that they didn’t quite understand. Though, there is something terrifying about not knowing you’ve been drugged and having hallucinated that vividly, but I feel like it didn’t quite fit in with the story. 

Alex betraying the boys? So interesting! This was one of the few things that made sense in terms of them being drugged. But then when he was betrayed when Pauahi (who’s name was misspelled a few different times in the book) escaped? Ugh, amazing. We love instant karma like that. 

Going back to the “tell not show” thing, I wish the sacrifice at the end would’ve been more detailed. For all of the paranormal stuff to be written off as a drug-induced hallucination, I would’ve loved if Gaby had leaned more into the horror of being used in a human sacrifice. There was more of a focus on Colby bargaining for his life, which is fair, but I would’ve loved to see more of the pure terror there.

That being said, the way Trey finally snapped out of it? *chef’s kiss* Loved that shit so much. And I loved the fact that Trey stayed behind in the end. It added a nice eeriness to the story that had been lacking since they debunked the paranormal shit as being hallucinations. 

Again, going back to my overall, thoughts, I enjoyed the book in general. Some things could’ve been fleshed out a bit more to reach its full potential. I wish they leaned more into the paranormal aspect and had more descriptions to balance out all of the dialogue, but other than that, I did enjoy the book and don’t regret buying it. 

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #snc #xplr #paradise island #starrybrock #a review

[tragiceyes]

Recovery

I came across this song by AJR, and it made me think of Jason, so I wrote this lil’ fic. Give it a listen! 

Lyrics are interspersed to break up the scenes - sorry this is unedited and sloppy, I’ll clean it up before posting to AO3.

This is a little different from my usual take on Jason. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly

I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

100mg of Seroquel a day. Because what was the point of cashing in on his little portion of Gotham’s lucrative drug trade if Jason couldn’t buy brand-name?

It made Jason’s stomach hurt, if he didn’t take it with food. So he took it with food. 

I've been so good, but it's still getting harder

I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

A hefty dose of Lithium. 1200mg had made Jason feel like the walking dead, so he’d gotten it reduced to 900mg. He took it first thing in the morning, with a glass of orange juice. 

And he was on the level all day long.

Why, are you asking me why?

My days and nights are filled with disappointment

Fine, oh no, everything's fine

I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment

Jason never heard him coming, but still somehow knew he was there.

Batman.

“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve gone non-lethal.”

He nodded.

“Any particular reason for this change?”

Jason sighed, too tired to tell him anything but the truth, “I’m trying to be better.”

What, am I normal or not?

Am I crazier than other patients?

Right, I've done everything right

So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience

“So, this person you’ve been talking about…what did you say his name was?” Dr. Connor reviewed her notes.

“Rick.” Jason mumbled.

“Rick. Were you planning on asking him out?”

Jason stared at the ceiling. The first day he’d come into this office, he’d sat stiffly on the sofa and glared at Dr. Connor the entire time, as if he hadn’t made the choice to be there. To her credit, she hadn’t been put off by his rudeness. She’d let him sit, talk only to the degree to which he was comfortable.

And now here he was, lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, glowing in the ambient, calming soft lighting.

“Why would I do that, Doc?” Jason replied listlessly. 

Dr. Connor crossed her legs, “Well, you certainly talk about him a lot. And I think he’d be charmed by the way you wax poetic about him.”

Jason snorted in amusement. He marveled at how far he’d come. All the furniture was still in one piece, and he hadn’t stormed out, red-faced and enraged. 

“Actually, knowing him, he’s probably heard it all before. He’s always had a long line of suitors willing to wax poetic, paint portraits, slay dragons…”

She chuckled good-naturedly, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Jason. For all you know, he waxes poetic about you.”

Jason highly doubted that. “I already asked him out, Doc…and he shot me down cold.” He blushed a little in shame. It didn’t matter how many sessions he had with Dr. Connors, rejection was never fun to relive. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“When did this happen?”

“A while ago, way back before…all of this,” Jason waved casually around the therapist’s office, the photographs of beaches, the soft-colored painted walls, the stress toys he’d broken all too many times. “Not that I blame him for telling me where to shove it. I kind of, well…I didn’t handle it well when he said ‘no.’”

He looked up at her. Her pen was poised on her notepad. She gave him an encouraging smile.

He let out a sigh.

Red Hood and Nightwing had teamed up for at least six missions at the point that Jason had decided it was time to shoot his shot. The Lazarus Pit had taken pretty much everything from him, everything except the long-buried crush he’d harbored for his predecessor since the ill-fated Robin years. 

But Jason wasn’t Robin anymore, and he could tell there was something between the two of them. Something in the way Dick smiled at him made Jason want to devour him, and see what that smile tasted like. Something in the way Dick swung through the night made Jason want to tackle him onto a rooftop, pin him down, and not let him get away. Being around Dick made Jason felt like a dog chasing cars. Only he was pretty sure he’d know what to do once he caught this one. 

And he was planning on catching him. Jason showed up to Dick’s apartment unannounced, and swaggered his way inside when Dick opened the door to him, a confused look on his handsome face. 

“Jason…what are you- I mean, what brings you here?”

“Came looking for you, Dickie-bird.” Jason replied with a smirk, not looking at him.

Dick looked like he didn’t really know what to say to that. He moved to walk past Jason, but Jason’s arm shot out to block his way.

“Stop playing hard-to-get, Dickie. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Dick replied easily, but Jason caught the way he bit his lip nervously.

“I mean you…and me.”

“Jason-“

“Don’t try and deny it.” He was fully boxing in Dick now, his arms on both sides.

Dick squirmed uncomfortably, “Jay…”

“Come get dinner with me,” Jason continued recklessly, “or, if you want, we can skip straight to dessert…”

Jason didn’t really remember what happened next, but he knew it was some embarrassing combination of himself leaning in to kiss Dick, Dick rebuffing him, and then Dick gently explaining his reasoning.

But Jason hadn’t heard anything past the rejection, and the rejection was blistering and hurtful and humiliating. 

And so, as Jason was known to do, he flew off the handle.

“So you were just flirting with me for shits and giggles, I guess?! I should have know you were like that with everyone. Fucking slut!”

Dick looked at him in shock, “Okay, you need to leave now.”

“Fuck you!”

Jason swung a fist at him, but Dick ducked beneath his arm and used his momentum to grab Jason and pin him against the wall, arm behind his back. Jason let out a curse in anger, and swung violently enough to knock a glass jar off a nearby table. Dick’s other hand quickly gripped the back of his shirt and kept his face pushed against the wall.

“JASON. You need to listen to me right now.” Dick’s voice was angry and commanding and Jason hated him.

Under normal circumstances, Jason would have forced his way out of the grip, even if it meant breaking his own arm in the process, just to get back on the offensive and attack Dick with everything he had. But this time, something gave him pause.

“You don’t get to barge into my apartment and get aggressive with me. You don’t get to throw a fist a me when I reject you. You need to learn how to listen before reacting. Did you even hear what I fucking said, Jason? You stubborn asshole!”

Jason didn’t respond, but Dick wasn’t waiting for him.

“Your anger is out of control. You know what you need to do to get right. You’re going to leave my apartment now, and you are not coming back here until you do what you need to do.”

How someone could manage to be both cryptic and totally condescending was beyond Jason. Not that he could say as much in his current position.

Dick tightened his grip slightly before loosening it, “Don’t try and hit me again, Jason. I’ve been doing this longer than you have.”

But Jason wasn’t planning on it - he knew when he’d been bested. And he obediently walked out the door, red-faced and shamed.

“You know, it’s not so easy, Dick!” Jason cried hoarsely, “It’s really...it’s really fucking hard!”

Dick looked back at him coolly, “I know.”

And he closed the door.

Even as he recounted the story to the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him, Jason couldn’t help but feel a bit of a lump in his throat. He’d really screwed up that one. 

“Tell me what you’re feeling right now.” Dr. Connors encouraged him.

“I can’t believe I did that.” Jason said, and to his horror, he felt his eyes get damp, “I can’t believe I threw shit and tried to hurt him for not wanting to date me. It’s fucking embarrassing to be such a shitty person all the time.”

“You’re not a shitty person, Jason,” She cut in, “Yes, you lost control in the moment. But you’ve been trying to battle these moods and symptoms on your own your entire life. Do you have any idea how hard that is? It’s not something everyone can do, and it certainly isn’t something most people can understand. 

You have an illness, Jason, and you’re working hard to get better. If you were in this same situation again today, I have no doubt you’d be able to recognize the signs of an episode, and prepare accordingly. Either by tempering your anger, or removing yourself from the situation. Give yourself some credit.”

“But it doesn’t matter,” Jason said listlessly, “yes, I’m a lot better now. The meds and the therapy have been helping. I’m more level-headed and stable than I’ve every been before in my life. But it doesn’t matter, because I can’t take back what I did, and I blew my shot with him. He doesn’t want me around, and I don’t blame him.”

“Maybe he’ll forgive you. Have you tried to apologize?”

Jason shook his head. He couldn’t face Dick.

She didn’t let him off, “You should go to him and apologize. With sincerity. Mental illness can be an explanation for poor behavior, but it’s never an excuse. And since it sounds like he’s the one who convinced you to seek treatment in the first place…”

Dick’s words in his mind like a plea or a prayer.

You know what you need to do to get right.

He’d been right.

I've been so good, I've been working my ass off

I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

What kind of idiot was Jason anyway? He’d been rejected once, twice, it might as well have been a thousand times. 

Yet here he stood once again, right outside Dick’s door. This time he knocked.

Dick answered. Jason was staring at the floor.

“Jason.”

You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?

The universe works in mysterious ways

But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me

He forced himself to meet Dick’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, Dick. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve it, and I want you to know that I appreciate you trying to help me and I am trying to get better. I’m trying to be better.”

He swallowed, unsure of how to continue, “I-“

“It’s okay, Jason.” Dick replied simply, “I forgive you.”

Jason paused, feeling slightly wrong-footed.

“You seem calmer on patrol, and off it too. You’re no longer shooting to kill, rarely shooting to maim. I know you’re putting in a lot of effort, and I’m proud of you, Jason.”

“Oh. Um, well…good.” He said awkwardly, “Thanks.” 

He’d done what he came to do. He turned to walk away.

“You came all this way,” Dick called breezily, “wasn’t there something you wanted to ask?”

Jason stared back at him, dumbfounded. A little part of his brain lit up with a memory of the night Dick had rejected him. 

Dick had rejected him. But he’d said, “I can’t be with you, Jason. I want to, but I won’t, not before you see someone. You’ve been through a lot of shit, and you’re dealing with a lot of anger. I think you need to work on that before you enter a relationship with anyone.”

But Jason hadn’t heard any of it, not at the time. Rather, he hadn’t been listening.

“Well, now that you mention it…” Jason was blushing again. But this time he was smiling, too.

He could do this.

“…you free tonight?”

Doctor, should I be good?

Should I be good this year?

Dick smiled back.

#jaydick #my writing #angst #cw mental health

[iphoenixrising]

For 800 Followers! The Wrong Robin

Babe recc’ed me a fic, Liminal Space by Calamityjim and a few profound things hit me in this fic. The author talks about how basically when shit gets broken, it’s broke. The Bats fucked Tim over and it’s not just a forgive-and-forget situation. It’s literally a darker world he’s living in and my fucking heart goes out to him. I write some angsty things about Tim not coming back to the Bats, but I do a few that really aren’t that, so this is inspired by the Tim that can’t go back.

So, for everyone that’s only wanted to do good things but still gets beaten down over and over again. I love you. I love you so so much.

**

Getting pissed really isn’t an option.

Because vigilantes arguing in the middle of a rooftop after an epic takedown is never good PR for the capes and cowls–

(but it isn’t like he’s really one of them anymore, right?)

“Can’t motherfuckin’ believe I’m hearin’ this shit, Pretender.” The Red Hood is standing tall against the night with forearms and fists clenched by his sides, fucking arguing with him like any of it means a damn thing.

“Am I in the Twilight Zone right now or some shit?” Red Robin comes back, sneering and baring his teeth in the semblance of a smile. “Who the fuck even are you?”

“Lookit here, asshole–”

But Red just moves, gets right up in Hood’s grill, whiteouts narrowed in the night, standing right the hell up to the Robin that once-upon-a-time was his (and welp, hadn’t that ship sailed?)

“Why are you even here?” He demands, low and dark, “wasn’t it enough to shove a Batarang in my chest? To almost slit my throat? Wasn’t that the fuck enough for you? And then this shit? You here telling me some pile of crap about how I should come back? Come back to what?”

Hood takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders and forearms loosening, “whoa, waitaminute, just wait–”

“You called me fucking Pretender, didn’t you?” Is even lower, the younger vigilante still as stone, “because that’s what I am, right? No matter what my intentions were, no matter how much of a beating I took all those years. None of that shit means a fucking thing, does it?”

“Look, kid, I don’t know what the hell yer goin’ on ‘bout. B just asked–”

“What? He asked you to tell me to get the fuck out of Gotham? Like I really need anyone to tell me that? Like I don’t already fucking know?”

Now it’s the Red Hood that stills, not even a huff or guffaw through the synths, just the tiniest movement of the helmet moving to track when Red Robin takes a step back.

“Go back and tell B to stop wasting your fucking time, Hood. He’s already got all his Robins.”

And Red knows he’s taking a real risk here, turning away from the vigilante that’s tried taking him out of the game more than once, one that hadn’t had a fucking moment of hesitation. He knows giving his back to Jason Todd could be the last mistake he ever makes.

Still, he’s not the same person he was back when the Battle for the Cowl was going down. He’s not the same person Jason Todd asked to be his Robin. He’s not the same person that died a little the day the tunic was taken right out of his hands.

He’s more pragmatic, less idealistic. He’s a vigilante that’s hit the grey areas and been able to come back–

(and fuck you, Bruce. Fuck you for coming after him when that little thing with Boomerang went down. When he didn’t let that murdering bastard die. When Red realized who he was, and that was not a murderer, when he wasn’t going to be like Boomerang or his future gun-toting Batman self. Fuck YOU, B. Jason got a second chance. Damian got a second chance. But him? Well, he’s the fucking Robin that was never chosen, so jumping all over him was pretty much fine.)

He’s pretty sure the fight between him and the Red Hood would go down very differently if he’d been that broken the last time they had it out. Hood never would have asked for Red to be another Batman’s Robin. He would have gotten the fuck you memo first thing.

But really, what does any of that matter now?

They’ve reached the end of his little Robin ride, so it’s time to cut his losses and move on – just like all of them pretty much wanted.

So he’s going to do just that. He’s going to stand with his team, take every lesson he’s ever learned from the Bats, and keep fucking moving. It’s what he’s been doing for a little more than a year, makes it easy to turn away from Hood, makes him narrow his eyes when a gloved hand catches his elbow unexpectedly just as he’s ready to shoot the grapple and take off into the night. Red Robin finds himself gone far enough from who and what he used to be that he’s already got a plan to put Jason Todd the fuck down this time.

(You’re not getting another chance to fuck me over, Todd. Not again.)

“Hey,” is low through the synths, the hand around his elbow not tight enough to be a hold, not really. “Lemme start again, yeah?”

“There’s no point in starting anything,” Red Robin doesn’t even turn to look over his shoulder, to acknowledge Hood, “everything has been over for a long damn time. Go back and tell them that.”

The grapple fires in the night, a bang, cuts off a “–wait a motherfucking minute!” when he’s pulled into space, pulled out in the dark Gotham night. A flicker of gold from the harness and utility belt, a dance of shadows in the shape of a flapping cape, and the younger vigilante is gone in a literal blink.

Hood shakes his head a little, thrown from the way his replacement brushed him completely off, sprouted old rhetoric from the days when the second Robin was one angry motherfucker.

And as much as he shouldn’t give two shits about the ig’nant fuck, the sight of that kid’s face when he was in the red, gold, and green, that face when he was clutching at his throat, bleedin’ like a stuck pig, looking so fucking devastated, is there in the Red Hood’s mind’s eye when he fires his own grapple and takes off in the opposite direction.

**

Dickie don’t make it any better. Not at all.

“He didn’t want to hear it, B,” the oldest Robin shakes his head sadly, “and maybe we should just let him go. He’s got his own team and a new ident. Maybe he’s just happier where he is.”

Stephanie Brown straightens up, mouth set in a grim line. But at the end of the day, she has nothing to argue, really. Her choices back then had been...questionable, even with the best of intentions. Scarab and faking her own death, piling more on a newly orphaned Robin hadn’t been the answer, hadn’t been the way to test his limits to see what would finally make him break.

It’s a few years too late for these realizations, and even when she wants to shove her face right up in Dick Grayson’s grill and argue–

She can’t.

And fuck, she hates it.

Behind them, Jason Todd is sitting at his workstation, back to the conversation after giving them a clipped, condensed version of events. At first, the two of them were talking low at the Batcomputer after a somewhat easy patrol.

She, Dick, and Dami had come in and started breaking out of the capes for the night before catching some of the conversation –

“Lil’ asshole didn’t stay long ‘nough ta listen, you feel me, B?”

“He wouldn’t even hear you out?”

Between getting out of the body armor and taking a shower, unwinding wrists and ankles, ruffling their Robin as much as possible just to have him “tt” at her and still grin when he turns away from her teasing, she’d come to stand on the outskirts with Dick, waiting to give her nightly report before crashing hardcore.

“Said ya already had all yer Robins. Also said ta tell ya ta stop wasting yer time n’ shit.”

The Dark Knight is silent, cowl back to air out his sweaty hair, arms crossed over his chest. The draw of his brows and deep frown are telling as to what he thinks of this little convo.

She’d been ready to ask who are you talking about? since all the previous Robins were, in fact, more at the Manor these days than even Alfred can remember. It’s rough and tumble sometimes, all of them grating on each other, but it really was what Batman Incorporated probably should have always been.

At least for the Batfamily.

But when she pauses, when the words get stuck in her throat, his masked face from way back when gives her pause, is still associated with old pains and regrets, and Steph has to take a long, deep breath.

That’s when Dick, who’d apparently also put the topic of conversation together, had stepped in to break the news to them.

“Maybe he’s just...moved on.”

She grinds her back teeth together, and can’t say a fucking thing.

**

“Tt,” is about as unconvincing as you can get. Certainly Drake will realize it.

“I asked what you wanted,” Red Robin reminds him, not bothering to look up from the microscope he’s studying.

“As I said,” Robin repeats, “Father has requested you return to Gotham. As I understand there is some yearly tradition he wishes to reinstate.”

“And as I said,” is unruffled, absent; the older vigilante obviously distracted as he jots down notes on a steno pad beside the microscope, “enjoy that. Don’t come back unless you need something important.”

Irritation wells up, but the teenager closes his eyes behind the whiteouts and takes a soft breath, trying to quell the emotion, reminding himself that Drake may be annoying and arrogant, but he was also once a Robin. He has had a few redeeming instances in his crime fighting career.

“This is important to Father, Drake,” Robin replies in an even tone, “he wants all the Bats to participate. Thus this applies to you.”

His predecessor’s muscles go tight in just the under suit, straightens away from the delicate equipment at one of the labs in Titan’s Tower, but still, he doesn’t bother to turn and face the current Robin head-on.

After a few seconds of silence, Red Robin goes back to the microscope. “C’mon, stop fucking around. Go back and tell him I said I was busy for, like, the next ten years or something.”

“That would be inaccurate.”

“Well, tell him I just said no.” Shrug of the shoulders, back to divided attention, and it is quickly starting to get more than just irritating.

“If I am to tell him that, Drake, then he will ask why.”

“Tell him I’m not his responsibility anymore. I mean, wouldn’t it be awkward if I did show up? Nobody needs that, and I have plenty to do here.”

Robin’s crossed arms loosen just a little, his back less rigid, the discussion in the Cave a few days ago still sitting in the back of his mind, making him wonder.

“Very well,” he makes it falsely light on purpose, “and when I return to Gotham with your answer, he will be the one to show up next. Unless you want to deal with that, you will need to provide better reasonings.” And a huff because he has no idea why he’s even still here, “Drake. They are a pain in the ass. This is not news to you. However,” and the pause, how he trails off is the things that finally gets the older vigilante to glance over his shoulder, “they are family. They are your family and mine. It is...troublesome at times, but they are what they are.”

Whatever he said is enough to make the older vigilante stop what he’s doing and lightly brace just his fingertips on the countertop as he stands.

Drake turns and approaches slowly, whiteouts up and face utterly impassive. A few feet between them and his predecessor breaks it out, calm and low when Robin feels like this visage is only another type of mask.

“Family? You think I’m family? That I ever was in the first place?”

Robin’s arms tighten.

“I didn’t want to be Robin forever,” Drake keeps going and Robin can imagine his eyes are cold and calm behind the domino, “I gave it ten years or so. That should have been plenty of time for B to get over Jason’s death. At least enough that he would get control over himself back. But the longer I was in the tunic, the more people that died around me, the more I had to change so I didn’t end up doing the same thing he did. There wasn’t another kid to hang around and keep me from destroying myself, so I had to keep my shit together.”

Robin’s mouth is slightly open, wondering why all this is coming out now? He and Drake have always been little more than rivals. This heartfelt account makes Robin uncomfortable for several reasons–

Primarily because he’s never been interested in his predecessor’s time in the tunic. It had simply never mattered, not when he took over the Robin mantle and strove to make it his rather than Drake’s.

“But when he disappeared, and everything that happened afterwards. All of that made me realize that no matter what I did, or what I tried to do, it was never supposed to have been me in that tunic.” A gloved finger flicks to the R on Robin’s left shoulder. “I wasn’t family, Damian. Not from the moment I put it on for the first time, and not at the end when Dick pulled it out from under me. Family? Family wouldn’t do that.”

And even if it’s difficult, Robin tries to swallow, his mouth suddenly dry.

“The last time I even talked to your dad? Was when the Boomerang thing happened, you know that, right?” And Red Robin goes still enough that Robin wonders if he’s even breathing. “No one died, and even though I didn’t let that happen, I’m the one that didn’t get a second chance. Not like you or Jason. All those years, all the times I pulled him out of the fire, all those years I thought he was my friend, my partner, my family. All of it meant nothing in the end.”

And Drake takes one step closer, just one, arms still crossed over his chest, head tilted down, but Robin feels like his chest is so tight, like he can’t even get a breath.

“So,” and Drake’s voice is softer now, gentle almost, “he won’t be showing up. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but it’s probably time for you to go back to Gotham. Batman...needs a Robin.”

And if his vision blurs behind the whiteouts suspiciously as Drake walks away from him, through the open doors of the lab, no one would be the wiser.

#angst #hurt/no comfort #dc comics #tim drake #jason todd #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #damian wayne #my fic #my drabbles #800 followers

[songficsbyrissi]

Freaky Friday (T’Challa x Reader Feat. Erik Killmonger)

A/N: I think everyone knows what Freaky Friday is. It’s still technically a song fic because it’s inspired by “Freaky Friday” by Lil Dicky and Chris Brown, however if you’ve heard the song, you’d know why I couldn’t drop the actual lyrics as a summary like I usually do. T’Challa and Erik is doing the body switching, which is why I put “Feat. Erik Killmonger” but I wanted the readers feel included so Reader is T’Challa’s wife. Also, Reader is going to have the superhero Starfire’s powers and I know Starfire is DC but she’s one of my faves since I was a kid.

T’Challa Udaku, the King of Wakanda, was stressed. Well, to say he’s stressed was a total understatement. Not only did he have his king duties, he had his black panther duties. While other countries had the monarchy members and military members separate, it was together here. He had to make decisions for his people and also physically protect them as well.

“My love, are you working yourself sick again?” You frowned when you poked your head inside his office to see him rubbing his temples in frustration.

On top of all that, T’Challa was a husband which was another duty added to  his list. A duty you, as his wife, felt like he neglected but you tried your  hardest not to annoy him about it. Unfortunately, when you got pregnant, you  became more needy so that plan was shot to hell.

Your husband just groaned in response and you walked in closing the door behind you.

“I wish you would come to bed.” Your hand caressed your 20 week pregnant belly. “Me and the baby miss you. Don’t make us sleep alone again.”

T’Challa glanced up at you tiredly. “I really want to, ikumkani wam. But-“

You interrupted him by setting yourself on his lap and planting kisses from behind his ear to his jawline. Your fingers found his buttons on his shirt.

“Or maybe we can turn your desk into a bed.” You purred seductively.

Recently, your pregnancy gave you raging hormones and the fact that your husband hasn’t been blowing your back out was irritating the hell out of you. You emitted a small starblast from your index finger to light the candles in his office.

He gently pushed you off. “Sorry, my love. Maybe another time?”

“You keep pushing me off! You would make time for that avenger bitch and not me!” You growled angrily then your mood shifted to sad. “Do you find me sexy anymore?”   “Of course I do! I am just really busy, my love. I will tend to you tomorrow  after my meetings. I promise. I am all yours.” T’Challa pecked your cheek.  “And you know the doctor said you shouldn’t be using your powers during this pregnancy.”   “You can’t scold me until you give me dick, T’Challa!” You shouted leaving  the room in a huff and came face to face with your cousin in law, Erik. He raised an eyebrow. 

“You good?”   “I’ll be good when your cousin gives me attention.” You pouted storming away. Even though you were extremely horny, you still just wanted your husband to yourself for now but you couldn’t which sucked.   Erik shook his head watching you storm away and mumbled under his breath. “I don’t understand how this nigga has everything yet takes it for granted.”  Erik stepped inside the office and dropped the papers he’s been working on for months now.

“Yo T. I need you to sign these papers.”

T’Challa hummed beginning to look them over. “What are they?”

Erik took a seat and got comfortable. “Well it’s papers to begin construction of an outreach center that uses Wakandan technology to help young black kids in need. We starting in Oakland.”

“Erik, you know we can not afford to do that.” T’Challa brushed him off and  Erik grew furious.   “Nigga, you promised me when I was on the brink of death that if I let you  heal me, you would listen to my plans and make things happen. That you would  do better than your bitchass daddy did! Was that all bullshit?!”   T’Challa stood up, suddenly staring his cousin down angrily. “You have no  right to speak about my father like that! Yes my father was wrong but do not disrespect him! And I am doing better than him!” Erik sucked his teeth, chuckling sarcastically.   “Oh for real? From what I can remember, your daddy turned his back on underprivileged kids, especially when one of them happened to be his own blood!” Erik spat venomously and looked his cousin up and down in disgust. “Now here you go doing the same shit. You call that better?”   “You do not understand!” The exasperated king slammed his fists on the desk. “My responsibility lies with the people of Wakanda first and there is a lot to be done before I can attend to intentional affairs! This is not a easy job. You are not King, N’Jadaka!”   Erik snatched the papers of his desk. “I wish I was. I would be doing a better job than your ass. Shit, you even failing at being a husband. How the fuck you keep letting your pregnant wife sleep alone? I’m surprised she hasn’t used her alien powers to blast your ass.”   “It is easy for you to say that because you are not in my position. You have  no idea and I wish I had your life. No responsibilities and the freedom to  have my only concern be myself. Lastly, I may let my wife sleep alone but at  least I did not kill her to get ahead in my schemes.” T’Challa snapped  viciously, sitting back in his chair. Yep he went there. He really brought  Linda up and how dirty Erik did her in his dark times.   “You know what? To hell with you, T. To hell with you and this damn country.  I’m going back to America tomorrow.” Erik slammed the door hard behind him  and T’Challa went back to his work furiously.   ‘Bast, I wish I could be living like Erik so I did not have any stress and  all the freedom I desire. That would be nice.” T’Challa thought to himself.   ‘Bast, I wish I was King so I can have and do every damn thing I want.’ Erik thought to himself at the same time.   What the two cousins didn’t realize is that Bast was listening and listening closely.  

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.....

T’Challa’s eyes opened up to a ceiling he wasn’t too familiar with. He turned  his side and fell out of bed at the sight. It was a naked woman that was not  you. What the fuck did he do? You were going to kill him. Before he could  shake the woman awake, he stared at his hand and realized this wasn’t his  hand. Matter of fact, this wasn’t his bed. Hell, it wasn’t his bedroom! It  looked like Erik’s bedroom. He fell asleep in Erik’s room?

He trudged towards the bathroom Erik had to himself to rinse his face. When he glanced his reflection, his heart began to race. It wasn’t his face. It  was his cousin’s face.   “No no no! I must be still dreaming!” He splashed his face with freezing cold water once again and wiped it with a face towel. He glanced at the mirror  again and still saw Erik’s face.   “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!??!”

The naked woman from the bed appeared in the bathroom with concern on her face. “Erik, baby, is everything ok?” She reached to touch him but he jumped  in shock.

“Step back, woman! I’m a married man!” T’Challa shrieked covering his eyes to prevent seeing the naked woman any longer.   “Oh and we gotta hurry up before your wife comes home.” The woman smirked coming closer and cupped his shaft. “I love role playing with you, daddy.”   He managed to escape the woman even when she turned psycho. Is this how being  single is? Sleeping with women that end up being psycho? He was glad he was  married. Next thing he knew, the castle servants were pressing him for his  flight to America. He had forgotten Erik was flying back to America.   “Wait! I just recalled- “ T’Challa cleared his throat as he moved hesitantly towards the aircraft. “Um, I mean, I remember that T needs me here! Yes that negro T!”

He couldn’t tell them that he was really T’Challa. They would think he’s crazy.

“Sorry, Prince N’Jadaka, but the people are waiting for you and it is too  late to cancel.”   Shit. He’s going to America as Erik. Great. Well at least he wouldn’t be bothered. He could do whatever he wanted.   Now back at the castle, Erik was shocked to wake up in the King’s office, in the King’s chair. He glanced at his hands and began to panic. He hurried to  the mirror on the wall.   “WHAT THE FUCK?!”   A knock was heard at the door. “My king? Are you alright?” Okoye stepped inside with concern on her face. “I heard you scream.”   Yeah. Everything’s alright except he was not the king. He was the King’s cousin that woke up in the King’s body. He could tell Okoye that. She’ll believe him, right? Hell no. This shit sounded insane.   “Yeah I’m aight.” He sighed then when Okoye tilted her head in confusion, he cleared his throat. “I mean, yes, I am....fine, General.”    Okoye smiled in relief and began to exit when she looked back over to him.  “You have a meeting, my king. Did you forget?”   Shit. Shit. Shit. He was hoping to find T’Challa or himself or whatever the  fuck and fix whatever bullshit caused this. Looks like he would have to be  T’Challa a little longer than he planned. He didn’t mind though. He finally  got his wish to become king.   Erik was wrong. Being king wasn’t as easy and lit as he hoped it would be. It turned out his cousin was trying but his workload was ridiculous and to top it off, the council was getting on his last nerves and he had to resist the urge to curse them out. His cousin’s workload was ridiculous and he couldn’t handle all this. Why the fuck did he think he could? He also endured all the comparisons to his father that T’Challa had to deal with everyday. Shit was too annoying. Erik slowly began to realize he didn’t want to be king.   He remembered that he was supposed to be going back to America to check on the status he’s trying to create without Wakanda’s help but he was pretty  sure T’Challa is trying to come back ASAP so all he had to do was wait and  take it easy.   He retired to the King’s bedroom which had him hating because it was much better than his but still. After this bullshit day, he was ready to be  himself again. He closed the door behind him to find you treading towards him  slowly, dressed in some sexy red lingerie that complimented your skin so  nice.   Damn. Even pregnant, You were still looking sexy as fuck. Ok maybe he could get through this.   “Um Y/N, you gotta-“ You cut him off by placing his hands on your breasts. Erik internally cursed himself out. He was being turned on by his cousin’s wife and he would feel like a piece of shit if he had sex with you, even if he was in T’Challa’s body. Erik cursed again. Feeling bad was not his thing. Great. Not only was he in T’Challa’s body, but he got the man’s feelings and emotions too.    “Come on, kumkani.” You purred nibbling on his ear. “I wanna cum all over  your dick and lick it off, my king.”   “Oh word?” His eyes widened feeling his member down low rise but he snapped out of it. Pushing you off. He gotta tell you the truth. Maybe your alien ass could help. “Y/N, it’s me, Erik. T’Motherfucker and I switched bodies.”   You threw your head back and let out a booming laugh. “T’Challa, that’s a good Erik impression but not the time to do this. You’re killing the mood. Let me ride that face and use your ears as handlebars.” You went in to kiss him again and he refused again.   “Girl, I’m being deadass! I woke up in his body and he’s in mine!”   You groaned hopping off his lap and threw your satin robe back over your shoulders. You grabbed the remote turning off the music from your sound system.   “Seriously, T’Challa. If you didn’t want to have sex with me, you can just say it. You don’t have to pull this charade. I can’t believe I wasted time doing all this for you. You clearly aren’t attracted to me anymore.” Your eyes narrowed in anger and glowed a bright green. “I fucking knew it! You fucking that white bitch from the Avengers!”   ‘How the fuck are you sexy when you’re mad too?’ Erik thought in fear. ‘T’Challa is a lucky and poor nigga at the same time.’   “You get me pregnant and now you have the nerve to cheat on me, you son of a bitch?!” Your hand formed an ultraviolet blast and he stood up quickly putting  his hands up.   Is this how it’s like to be married? You get into some bullshit arguments and  you can’t even entertain someone else? Monogamy wasn’t for Erik right now.  His cousin can take this shit back.   “Y/N, calm down, girl! Damn! I can prove it!”   Your eyes returned to normal and you diffused your blast you were ready to throw at your husband’s bitchass head.   “Alright. You got 30 seconds to prove it before this baby grows up without a father.”   He sighed out of relief and thought of something. “We call him “T’LeftFeet” behind his back because that nigga ain’t got no rhythm. Can’t dance for shit. You once said he looked like a constipated Bambi.”   Your eyes grew in shock and you closed your robe.   “Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Ohhhhh fuck!” You screeched jumping up and down. “Erik???! Oh shit I almost had sex with you! Oh my goodness, you’ve seen so much of me! Bast!”   “Yeah you a freak and that lingerie sexy as fuck. That nigga lucky as hell.  You scary and sexy when you’re mad. I fuck with it.”   You rolled your eyes as you tied your robe. “How did this happen? Where’s T’Challa, Erik?”    “Somewhere in Oakland. I’m not sure. All I know is that he’s in my body, I’m in his, and I really gotta piss but I’m not trying to look at this nigga’s dick.” He replied leaning back on his elbow in a way Erik would.   “Ok we have to fix this now.” You went over to blow out the candles and turn on the lights.   “Wait!” You turned to him and he gestured towards his erection. “Girl, you caused this. You can at least take care of it.”   You scrunched up your face in disgust. “No! Have you lost your mind?!”   “I mean technically you wouldn’t be cheating! It’s his body. I’d just be feeling it and remembering it.” He argued. “Show me why my cousin keep busting nuts in you.”   “You’re disgusting.” You grabbed your change of clothes from the wardrobe and made your way towards the bathroom.   “Girl, you are the last one to be talking! Talking about cumming and licking it off. I see why he got you pregnant. Freaky ass.”   Back in Oakland, T’Challa was overseeing the plans his cousin had for the outreach center he was attempting to do by himself. To say it was a failure was an understatement. Barely any kids and/or homeless people came around because it had little to nothing.   “Erik! You’re back!” A little boy ran up hugging his legs. He stepped back and held his hand out as if he wanted a handshake. He shook the little boy’s hand and he looked confused.   “What was that? Aren’t you a G?”   “Yes. A real G is to be a gentleman. I’m teaching you how to shake like one.” T’Challa stated proudly then cleared his throat, taking the boy into a headlock and gave him a noogie. “Little negro.”   Being in Oakland made him realize that Erik was trying to do a lot and he was no help. The little boy who was excited to see him lost both his parents and belonged to a foster home who barely paid him any mind. Similar to his  cousin’s story.   He also missed you. Dealing with the crazy broads that all wanted his cousin was not the life for him and having that one special woman to come to was everything. He neglected you and he’s seeing that now. He also looked at his cousin’s journal were all entries were apologies addressed to everyone he wronged, even T’Challa himself. He read all them and even saw one addressed to Linda. T’Challa realized his cousin did have a heart and was not so selfish as he thought. 

 “T’Challa?” You raised an eyebrow skeptically as “Erik” walked into the office with Shuri. You glanced back at “T’Challa”. “Erik, right?”   “Yes, Y/N. I am in Erik’s body and he is in mine.” He kissed your forehead and caressed your belly. “I missed you. Are you and the baby all right?”   You removed himself from his embrace and he looked a little hurt. “Sorry it’s weird having....”Erik” touching me like that. When we fix this, then I got  you, babe.” You sent a wink at him and he smirked in understanding.   “Look, we gotta fix this because I sucked it up and took a piss.” Erik breathed deeply. “Looking at a dick that’s not mine was not ok!”   T’Challa nodded in agreement. “Yes. Seeing your penis was really uncomfortable.” His eyes knitted together. “Wait, you touched my penis?”   “Nigga, you touched my dick too! Please tell me you did the shake!”   Shuri cleared her throat. “Anyway, I ran tests and tried to reverse it but...”   “But what, Shuri?”   Shuri sighed shaking her head in defeat. “I can’t. I tried everything. This isn’t a scientific issue.” She looked up at you three. “It is spiritual, the work of the Gods.”   “Meaning we need Zuri.” You sighed at the two men and left the office.   Zuri was more than happy to help, even though he still had a little bit of  grudge towards Erik for almost killing him, causing him to reply, “Nigga, I’m  redeemed!” In T’Challa’s voice which was more than weird. Zuri had the two men recall the events before they went to sleep that night where it was revealed they both called on Bast and Bast granted their wishes.   “In order to fix this situation, you two must do what you did that night but reverse it. Call on Bast. Face each other and say your wish at the same time.”   The two cousins faced each other at the same time.   “Bast, I wish to return to my body and life.” They said in unison and nothing happened. They figured that maybe they should sleep real quick and then they’ll wake up in their own bodies. That didn’t work either. Bast was not granting their wishes and they had no idea why. You all groaned in defeat realizing that they were stuck. You and Shuri retired to your bedrooms while the two cousins met in the King’s office.   “I guess I’m stuck being the king.”   T’Challa chuckled in response. “Wasn’t that what you wished for?”   “Shit, I did but nigga, I didn’t realize how much bullshit you had on your plate. The council irritate my balls, your wife is hot but crazy, and every single person needs the king for every damn thing. Your shit is hard. It’s my fault for not seeing that.” He sat up and looked at his cousin sincerely. “And my fault for not seeing that you were trying to help Oakland.”   “I was not helping enough. I will be honest. I did not prioritize Oakland as much as I should’ve. I really understand why it was so important to you. I see that your life is not as easy as I thought. I apologize.” T’Challa stated. “And my wife is crazy but she is the love of my life. I rather deal with one crazy woman for the rest of my life than deal with multiple like you do. Seriously cousin! How do you do it?!” Erik chuckled as his cousin continued.   “Y/N is halfway through her pregnancy and I have no idea if I will be present for my first child’s birth. I don’t know when Bast will switch us back.”   Erik choked on air. “Shit. Hopefully soon! I ain’t ready to be a father!”   They both laughed at themselves and sighed deeply.   “Bast, I wish I could go back to my life. I love my life, just the way it is.”   “Bast, I wish I could back to my life. I love my life. It was lit.” 

As soon as the cousins spoke those words, there was a shift in the atmosphere and the two examined themselves, realizing they were back to their bodies. They cheered in joy when you and Shuri bust in, curious. You heard the commotion when you two met up in the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” You questioned and T’Challa ran up on you, pecking your face with multiple kisses and your belly. “Erik, what the fuck?”   “No, my love! It’s me! We are back to our bodies! Now I get to tend to my beautiful wife all night long.” Your husband smirked grabbing your hand and leading you out of the office as you grinned widely, knowing you were about to get some.   Shuri glanced at Erik who was looking down inside his pants with a smile on his face. “What are you doing? And why are you smiling so hard? It’s weird.”   “Because princess, I got my dick back. I’m looking at my dick not his!” Erik pushed past his cousin’s way. “Now if you will excuse me, I got a couple of ladies that need to looking at it as well.....if you know what I mean.” He popped his collar on his way out and Shuri pinched the bridge of her nose in disgust and sighed.   “Yep. That is Erik, all right.”     Tags:  @iamrheaspeaks @chaneajoyyy @dramaqueenamby @marvelpotterlove @purple-apricots @brattywriters-anonymous@cancerianprincess @blowmymbackout @ljstraightnochaser @blackpinup22 @airis-paris14 @vibranium-chakra@sociallyawkward18@chefjessypooh @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @slimmiyagi @imasmille @ashanti-notthesinger @thehomierobbstark @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @quietstorm-73 @90sinspiredgirl @lewatigress 

#black panther fanfiction #black panther x reader #black panther imagine #black panther fic #black panther #freaky friday #Erik Killmonger #T'Challa Udaku #t'challa x you #t'challa fanfiction #t'challa x reader #T'Challa #Erik Stevens

[longwoodstudents]

Student Spotlight: Casey Orlosky, Marketing Intern

Hi there! I’m Casey Orlosky, the Marketing & Communications Intern. My position is one year long—I started in June of 2018, and I’ll be leaving in late May of 2019. The most exciting part about my internship is that I earned college credits while living and learning at Longwood. I studied Communications Media at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) in Indiana, Pennsylvania (it’s very confusing, I know). Anyways, all communications students were required to complete a 9-credit, 3-month summer internship in order to graduate. Most students were allowed to walk in May, complete their summer internship, and then graduate in August—which is what I did. Prior to my internship, I was heavily involved with organizations on campus. I worked as a social media manager for HerCampus.com, an online magazine for college aged women; a marketing intern for IUP Dining; and the media chair for the Student Activity Committee (STATIC), which brought headliners such as Lil Dicky, Mac Miller, Lil Uzi Vert, Mayday Parade, and Bo Burnham to my campus.  

Hanging out with Mayday Parade after a STATIC event.

What is your favorite plant?

I really like daisies. They’re very simplistic, they come in a variety of colors, and everyone is familiar with them. Growing up, my mom planted daisies around our house and she would always get so annoyed when I picked them from her flower beds.

Cheesin’ with some daisies.

What is your favorite Garden at Longwood? What is your favorite part of Longwood?

My favorite Garden at Longwood is the Conservatory in the Peirce-du Pont House. This is where my office is located and where I spend a majority of my time. I love this space because the ceiling is sky-high, the color palette is calming, and the details in the architecture are very impressive. Also, my second favorite plant is located in here. It’s a massive Swiss cheese plant (Monstera deliciosa) that grows on a column from floor to ceiling.  

Check out those monsterous Monstera leaves! My office is behind that window, by the way. 

What is the best part of being a student?

The best part about being a student are the wonderful opportunities we’re given. Our program encourages us to pursue professional development, whether it be attending a conference, seminar, or taking courses related to our field. In October of 2018, two interns and I were fortunate enough to attend the Adobe Max Conference in Los Angeles. We spent three days attending workshops, networking with more than 14,000 creatives, and learning first-hand from Adobe professionals. I learned new techniques to use in Photoshop and even learned how to use one of Adobe’s latest products for video editing before it was even released!

Jolisa Copeman (Display Design Intern), Zuny Jamatte (Seed Your Future Intern), and myself during Adobe Max! 

What is your background in horticulture (or whatever field you are in)?

I have no prior background in horticulture, which is surprising considering that I work in a Garden. However, I learned a lot since I’ve been working here. I write and source imagery for Longwood’s social media posts, which helps expose me to many types of plants.

A rare photo of me gardening.

Why did you want to come to Longwood and what do you think helped you get the position?

What interested me the most about this position was the fact I’d be working with an organization and non-profit that is so prestigious. It’s a great resume-builder and I knew that I would learn valuable marketing skills during my time here. Living rent free on property while also being paid was also an added incentive. I definitely think my experience helped me get my current position. I gained three years of marketing experience during my four years at IUP, which is something that most students my age didn’t have.    

Cooling off in the Waterlily Display. 

What do you do at work? Highlight your favorite project or what you do day-to-day.

If you follow Longwood Gardens on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, then you see a lot of what I do. I write our social media posts, source imagery, film & design Instagram stories, create Facebook events, respond to comments/questions, and much more. I also spend write our monthly Member newsletter, track our analytics for Instagram stories, and take photographs throughout the Gardens.

One of my favorite photos I’ve taken—the Orangery during Orchid Extravaganza. 

What are your future plans or what is your intended career path?

After my internship, I hope to continue working as a marketing professional and help a company with their online social media presence. Preferably, I’d like to work with a small business and grow with them as they expand. I wouldn’t mind working for an agency or a larger organization though. It would be nice to move out of state, as I’ve lived in Pennsylvania my entire life.

Article and photos by Casey Orlosky.

[outerspacehippiehay]

Answer all of those aesthetic questions. If you don't have that determination answer your favorite ones!

Thanks bestie I need this right niow, just like you did flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? Now, listening to This is Gospel rnfairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Oh God....Who am I destined to be with... daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Um...I’m 22 my greatest accomplishment is getting out of bed for work.1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? I need to really think...No. I wouldn’t because whatever reason I’m going to die was since I had no knowledge. If i start acting all crazy and rebellious I could die sooner.black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? It’s not real but I can come up with three. One: Travel to a different country. Two: Learn to love myself Three: Make a difference.pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. I’m not rreally a close person but if I were to choose anyone it would be my best friend. She and I have been friends for oh so long and I go to her for everything. She likes to dye her hair but its naturally a beautiful chestnut brown that flows off her shoulders by an inch. Her eyes are not even a normal color either. They are yellow like a cat with a tint of auburn to add soft tones of a sunset sky. In the middle bottom of her squishable face are some plump creamy pink lips. Sorta jealous since mine are so thin ughmoodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? HAHAHAHAHA what is that? Because I had to question my own sanity when I went over friends houses and seeing the difference between brothers and sisters and asking myself what happens between my sister and I isn’t normal? This doesnt happen to others?stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? Today...In a restaurant... I AM NOT A CRY BABYplants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. Yeah my best friend @stranded-ali3nconverse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? This i struggle with man because I need counseling and yet I don’t wanna go to a stranger and open up to them. So... NO!lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? Probably Andrew seeing as he’s my only friend up that late xD but its always a great conversation. Thanks brother!!!handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? WHY SO DEEP? “Thank you mom, thank you for everything and I love you and my brother with all my heart and forever will be with you” cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? Did you read the description of my best friends eyes? I believe my boyfriend has brown eyes. So they cute.sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. “This isn’t even my final form” I heard it from a friend and discovered it was from Dragon  Ball Z but I fell in  love with it. I am me but I’m still changing I’m still growing. You haven’t even seen what I can fully do yet. All such empowering thoughts.oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? “Sad Stoned and Stupid.overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? Buy my mother, brother and I the ranch we have our eyes on.combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? Yes I can be very forgiving in situations however in rare cases I may not forgive ever, No I don’t like it because obviously people walk all over me for it.winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. Right now on this? Ugh no thanks. 12 year old me stay away from brad, joe, and miranda i dont give a fuck it’s your sister just do it! Stand up for yourself. Put your foot down and keep saying No. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? Pastel with dash of punktattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. Well I love them and have one sooooooo, I do because it is a form of art. That you can show off like in museums except they are on your body. piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? Depends on the day but mostly I wear makeup to feel prettier to myself. I hide my dark circles and my pimples as if no one else deals with them. bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. All music has effected me. Mostly in a positive way. If I had to choose one it would be Evanescence, As an alternative kid I would listen to them because I related to the deepness from her lyrics and loved the classical sound with inspiring lyrics. Helped me feel less alone in this huge world full of mirrors.messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. “Just be nice and considerate and NEW ENGLAND USE YOUR GOD DAMN BLINKERS”cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Alan Jackson as a child it was my first one and it was great. I went with my dad and thats all I really remember except for they had 5oclock somewhere buttons i wanted. I went to Shinedown with my step dad and I wasnt supposed to go it was my mom that was but she gave her ticket up for me. Thanks mom that really was an amazing acoustic concert filled with personal and raw emotions.  grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?A letter? No one does that anymore. But if I wanted to recieve one it would be from Chris and that he changed his ways has a steady job and is taking care of his child. No more gang shit and actually making hs life better and all cause I stopped talking to him did it slap him in the face. So he wanted to thank me for that.space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? I have an area for work yes and usually it’s not organized because of other so I organize it because I can’t stand a mess at work. white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? Get high and then sleep.old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? I don’t want my dad to know I like girls... I don’t wanna see his reaction. My mom.. probably who I had sex with.beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? Ouff! I want black hair!!!! But I know it kills it! I do enjoy my curls but I’d defrizz them and probably go to a deep dark maroon color.eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? I’m too high and drunk for this question NEXT11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. I feel like the letter one is a wish sooo two. I wish my mom happiness she deserves it. Three I had natural beauty.painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. I mean I put together a decent Alice in Wonderland costume seeing as I won best costume for it. lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? I really don’t do anything too bad. I guess peeing in my garbage so I wouldn’t need to leave my bedroom?thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Kill someonestorms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? One song. Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky.. It always make me smile because it’s so funny! Also I need people more than music as odd as it is to admit. I can’t choose one person. love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. Yes I have and I don’t wanna go there because he don’t love me back and that is all I wanna talk about.clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? I don’t go often but I love that dragonfruit tea they had/have?? And anyone it’s a pretty simple order if you can’t get it right then you are really stupid.marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mom and brother.fin.

[interesting-blog-name]

Denzel Curry MEGAREVIEW (ZUU/13LOOD IN + 13LOOD OUT MIXX/ UNLOCKED [w/ Kenny Beats])

Denzel Curry is a rapper I’ve known about since I started listening to the genre back in 2017, and one I’ve always enjoyed for the consistent energy he brought to every song he made. TABOO was one of the first records I listened to in its entirety (I wasn’t the type to go out of my way to listen to an album), and looking back at it, it was very ambitious, energetic, well-assembled, but did have its flaws and weaker moments. The production and Denzel’s voice were definitely highlights, but the lyrics and subject matter were sometimes lost in the midst of all the focused chaos of the album, even if more conceptual and deep tracks were to be found, such as the introductory title track, BLACK BALLOONS immediately after, one of my favorites, and THE BLACKEST BALLOON.

My younger ears were very fond of the grimy, bass-heavy music scene Denzel was closely related to as well, Florida rap’s punk-influenced, aggressive Soundcloud wave, which brought artists like XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump and the subject of this review to the spotlight. I was extremely drawn to the raw violence in the sound, and part of me still really enjoys it, a style very present in Denzel’s short but blunt and potent EP, 13. This familiarity and appreciation I had with his music were what brought me to listen to these three very short projects that I’d been holding back for quite a while.

 ZUU

Starting up with Denzel’s ode to his land, ZUU is definitely a change of pace to TABOO; the Florida native mixes his unmatched essence, flows and deliveries, masterful production and the traditional song topics and sometimes structures and samples from his homeland, into a tight, creative and, above all, fun project. Anyone can represent where they’re from in a rap song, but few could do it as creatively and interestingly as Denzel.

The production in this album is definitely a highlight: mostly handled by Australian duo FnZ, famous for working with A$AP Rocky in many occasions, Finatik and Zac, alongside familiar names such as Ronny J, Charlie Heat and Tay Keith, add a fresh, dynamic beat for every song they produce in ZUU, while still possessing an unmistakable texture and style to their production. The album is most definitely focused in its intended sound, ranging from the boiling title track, BIRDZ, or P.A.T. (probably one of Denzel’s most aggressive tracks ever), to the blissful WISH, or the less bombastic, but insanely catchy gospel-like SPEEDBOAT.

The only problem I have with the beats is they sometimes seem to be mixed weirdly; the higher decibels feel like they are mixed too loud on CARLOMART and SHAKE 88, which leads to some ear-piercing moments. Nothing that can’t be tolerated though.

The lyrics, again, are not a highpoint in the project. With the production and delivery present, they’d barely even have space to be so amazing or cutting edge. While Denzel deals with loss, overcoming his broke days, and even pays a very nice homage to his family in RICKY, the punchlines are not exactly groundbreaking, and they’ll let out a chuckle from the listener at best, and at worst, form a track like SHAKE 88, dwelling into the complex subject matter of twerking. I understand the why for a track like this, but it’s not like it’s executed well, as the beat is easily the most forgettable in here, and Denzel’s lyrics are way too oversimplified. But when Denzel has to deliver catchy and banging hooks and witty one-liners, he mostly delivers, and that’s what matters.

Still, you can tell Denzel’s song topics come from the heart when rapping about his upbringing and the environment he grew up in, such as in the second verse of AUTOMATIC. The features he brings are all from his state, from the legendary Rick Ross to upcomers PlayThatBoiZay and Kiddo Marv, and the features are some of the strongest parts of the album, as Denzel has such a nice chemistry with all of them that adds a lot to the songs, from Ice Billion Berg’s banging chorus (although it does become a little annoying when his vocals are pitched up) to PlayThatBoiZay’s raging verse, to even Rick Ross’ surprisingly fitting rapping, adding a smooth veteran touch to the very young, wild and free BIRDZ.

A very nice surprise in this album was Denzel’s singing and his hooks, as both has blatantly improved over time. While he’s no stranger to delivering a few chorus melodies in tracks such as Sick & Tired off of Imperial, the vocals don’t come close to those in the title track and WISH, and the hooks in both of the mentioned tracks, BIRDZ and SPEEDBOAT are phenomenal.

ZUU is a nice, clean and raw portrait of Florida, and that is exactly what it aims to be. While the album does get weaker at its second half, with skits that take up just a little too much time on a very short project and weaker tracks when compared to the insanity that was the first half, it is still very enjoyable for what it is: an explosive tape filled with bangers.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: ZUU, BIRDZ, RICKY, WISH, P.A.T.

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: SHAKE 88  

 7.9/10

“That was back in Carol City, yeah, when I was just a jit, with the all-black faded Dickie with the raider fit. That was it, we was lit, y’all wasn’t even shit yet. We was Three 6, Wu-Tang mixed with Dipset.”

 13LOOD 1N + 13LOOD OUT MIXX

Between these three, this was actually the first tape I listened to, and it is definitely the most aggressive Denzel’s been in a while. The mix is made in such a way to merge every song together into one big collection, so there’s not much of an option to listen to tracks by themselves, unless you don’t mind the abrupt beginnings and endings in every track.

Overall, this is obviously much more of a simple compilation, meant to showcase previously unreleased material, than an actual tape, as CHARLIE SHEEN, for example, was recorded back in 2018. Thus, the project isn’t meant to be taken as seriously, and isn’t even on Spotify, but I’ll still review it.

The most glaring problem I have with 13LOOD 1N + 13LOOD OUT is the fact that every single track is lo-fi, and it isn’t pleasing to me. I don’t know why the people behind the project would make the decision to tone every aspect of the production down and have it sound like the music is coming from an old phone’s speaker, but if you ask me, it surely takes away more than it offers.

The problem with toning the sound down is that the tracks could have been SO much harder if only the volume and mixing was normal. CHARLIE SHEEN’s chorus is seriously insane, Ghostemane’s feature doesn’t disappoint, EVIL TWIN has a very nice dark vibe to it and ZillaKami unsurprisingly fits the track perfectly, and WELCOME TO THE FUTURE has some of Denzel’s nicest singing ever, with what seems to be two different-pitch vocals stacked on top of one another, creating this very eerie but mellow melody; however, all of these tracks suffer from being mixed too low, especially EVIL TWIN: the track sounds like an Instagram snippet.

The other tracks in the project aren’t as memorable due to the fact that, without spicy features, Denzel’s solo work aren’t much more than appetizers, snippets that happened to find their way into here. NO PEN NO PAD has a very nice, unique beat, but that’s about it for the three tracks where Denzel raps alone. GOGETA is a track that wouldn’t be out of place in Act 3 of TABOO, the AK feature is nice, but Denzel isn’t super crazy on this one.

To me, it serves as a nice darker, more compact project by Denzel, with strong production and deliveries all around, not much in lyrical content - although I’ll say he has more freedom than in ZUU for wilder, meaner punchlines, as this project doesn’t focus as much on hooks and repetitions -and the features tie up the mix in a very nice way, but after the last project, what we’re left with is not as purely explosive and exciting, even if not lacking in creativity and vision.

The project’s highlights are the first three proper tracks, and after that, the listener just glides through a few impressive, but very barebones tracks until coming to a close with a relatively hard track, but unfortunately, as complained before, the mixing is not on 13LOOD 1N + 13LOOD OUT’s side.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: CHARLIE SHEEN, WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: PXSH6XD SHXT

 6.66/10

“All you niggas green, I don’t make a scene. Boy you half a man, I should’ve called you Charlie Sheen.”

 UNLOCKED (w/ Kenny Beats)

Kenny Beats has had a very successful run as a producer in rap for the past 2 or 3 years, rising to popularity working alongside artists like Rico Nasty, JPEGMAFIA, Vince Staples, and many other bubbling names. His style of production is glitchy, often aggressive, but also versatile and catchy, so a collab album with Denzel was bound to be something to look forward to.

UNLOCKED was released along with a 20-minute long music video that obviously isn’t the main focus of this review, but I’ll talk about it anyway. It portrays a very light-hearted, simple but colorful narrative of the duo voyaging into Kenny’s laptop to recover the leaked songs from the album, going through a different landscape for each track, with different art-styles and themes along the way. I will say the sequence for ‘Cosmic’.m4a is easily the most intense and is very well animated, but I also liked the clips for Track 01, Take_it_Back_v2, and Pyro (leak 2019). It’s a bunch of nice little visuals to accompany and give somewhat of a background and concept for the tape.

The tape and tracks themselves, in my opinion, are enjoyable, but nothing crazy. Kenny Beats’ production is solid throughout, but it is very fortunate this album is only 18 minutes, because it ends up sounding too one-dimensional when paired with Denzel’s verses. Don’t get me wrong, they are all great performances and I fully respect the decision to go purely with a more lyrical-focused, boom bap direction, but to me, it isn’t a style that can hold up for long without any experimentation or change in tone/beat.

Every track here has Denzel nonstop rapping throughout the whole tracks, without one melodic detour like became common in his last two studio albums; the hooks are still a strong central point in all songs except for Pyro, with the most notable ones in the tracks Lay_Up.m4a, DIET_ and So.Incredible.pkg. On the other songs, the chorus sounds just like the rest of the bars Denzel spits in his verses, except repeated like two times. On one hand it is a very focused and to-the-face project, while on the other, just a little bit of variety would have been more than welcome, especially since it’s a Denzel album, and I know he isn’t a stranger to it. The black sheep of the beats in the album is definitely its biggest song, DIET_, with its bongo, jungle percussion that is reflected in its music video. The headliner to this track, though, is Denzel’s DMX-inspired inflictions in the chorus, as he utilizes his recognizable raspy, growling voice, which isn’t used nearly enough in this album, him opting for a cleaner, more precise delivery.

The instrumentals in the project are very glitchy and creative with their use of sampling vocal clips, which bring a sense of cohesion and a boom bap, MF DOOM aura to the songs, but unlike many modern trap hits, they cannot carry the rapper, as unique and wild as they are; they need to work with the artist and unite to form a memorable, hard track. Luckily, Curry just so happens to be one of the best new-school rappers for the task that is bringing life to Kenny’s beats.

Truly, the main focus of UNLOCKED is Denzel’s bars and lyricism. The first few listens, I failed to grasp the fact that this was the main attraction to the album, and almost discarded the lyrics: “It isn’t anything conceptual, it doesn’t feel like Curry is trying to say anything of value in the songs, and the beats and infliction aren’t overly hard to compensate like in ZUU, so why bother?”, I thought, not in these exact words obviously. Listening again, watching Denzel and Kenny explain the creative process in Genius, and paying way more attention to the lyrics, I realized that I’m kinda dumb. Because yes, Curry might be rapping about the same things every rapper raps about: murder, money, threats, where he comes from, whatever, but it’s the way he says it that is captivating. Not every rapstar can mention Bubba Sparxxx, Rosa Parks and the second-best Indiana Jones movie in a chorus and make it sound as good as Denzel does, nor drop pop culture references quite like he does (“Turn your crib into a game of Fallout”). I failed to notice how colorful and lively Denzel’s bars were, as opposed to the sterile, empty threats and tired “Balling like [insert basketball player here]”, “Fast car, Nascar”, “Chase the money, don’t chase bitches” lines many other rappers employ in their rhymes, or even the lyrical miracle spiritual individual wack similes that conscious rappers try and fail to drop in their songs. And even when Denzel says something you can easily picture another rapper saying, the decisiveness and bravado with which he says so is intoxicating (“I don’t write rhymes nigga, I write checks”).

The aggressiveness is almost omnipresent, but when it isn’t, it is pretty noticeable. So.Incredible.pkg is the least interesting track by far, as the rhymes don’t stand out much, and the beat is definitely the deadest of the album. Meanwhile, tracks like the aforementioned DIET_, ‘Cosmic’.m4a and to some extent Take_it_Back_v2 are ruthless, with beat and lyricism teaming up to create the best this project has to offer.

The tempo of the tracks is fast and entertaining, the wordplay is mostly at Denzel’s best, and it seems Kenny can work with any artist’s specific style and improve it a ton, a little more subtly in Curry’s case. While it isn’t as flexible and full of surprises as some other Denzel projects, it makes up for it in how raw and centered it is. The album took a while to grow on me, but now that it has, I can see how unique in its influences it is. A very nice, bright creative effort by the duo.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: DIET_, Lay_Up.m4a, Take_it_Back_v2, ‘Cosmic’.m4a

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: So.Incredible.pkg

 7.35/10

“It’s the man of the hour. Super confident and the clothes yell it louder, and if it don’t compute then I gots to reroute ya. Dressed in all black like a motherfucking bouncer.”

#denzel curry #kenny beats #unlocked #zuu #blood in blood out #rap #hip-hop #florida rap

[floralmarsupial]

The life and times of the coolest kid to survive the apocalypse.

A-side -

I’m Bo Yo (Bo Burnham)// Rhyme O’ Clock (Wordburglar)// Ass to Mouth (Busdriver) // Obama Mic Drop (The Gregory Brothers) // Very Super Famous (Jon Lajoie) //  Hurt Feelings (Flight of the Concords) // A Mask of My Own Face (Lemon Demon) // Tic Toc (Mother Mother) // Critical Hit (MC Frontalot) 

B-side - 

Spent Gladiator 2 (The Mountain Goats) // Crows 1 (Aesop Rock) // Pepper (Butthole Surfers) // Sweet Dudes and Sweet Ladies (Defiance, Ohio) // Burn Fetish (Eyedea & Abilities) // One More Time With Feeling (Regina Spektor) // Proactive Evolution (WHY?) //Small Red Boy (AJJ) // Trouble (Imagine Dragons) // Bruh... (Lil’ Dicky)

Spotify Link//Youtube Link

Lyrics under readmore (along with warnings for bolded songs)

I’m Bo Yo - (Explicit, mentions of Menstruation, g*psie slur)

'Cause I'm Bo, yo, And I'm the greatest rapper ever, And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not, Think you're better, you're not, Don't need a sweater, I'm hot, I'm a real G that can really find your G-spot. Woah, yeah... oh, but I'm inadequate. Have I gotten that point across yet? How original

Rhyme’ O Clock -

Greenwich mean top-notch digital When you kids talk sweet, slop songs pitiful Gag me with spoon Barf not minimal Plaque, it sticks to all your syllables Staying simple for the safest, civilian Syllabubs For the simian serious Motherfuck 

Ass To Mouth-  (Explicit)

 If you think I've eaten my fill, well you've heard wrong My stomach's only filled with bird song My body's waste is like precious metals So I walk around thinking I'm extra special 

Obama Mic Drop-

Lets not pretend I picked this song for the lyrics.

Very Super Famous- (Explicit, AIDS ment, Rape Ment,)

If a lot of people know who you are, it means you're a talented artist In order to be super-famous, you have to be the most smartest When I'm on the red carpets or at celebrity parties Fat kids are on my dick like hot bitches on Smarties

Hurt Feelings -

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings They’re all lined up to watch that movie “Maid in Manhattan” Have you even been told that your ass is too big? Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig? Have you ever been told you’re mediocre in bed? Have you ever been told you’ve got a weird-shaped head? Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away? Once again, they forgot about J Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama? Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

A Mask of My Own Face-

I'd wear it to a hoedown, and I'd dance with all the belles And none of them would know that I was secretly myself I'd rob my apartment and I wouldn't give a damn I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am I look into my eyeholes, what do I see? Look into my eyeholes, what do you see? I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me

Tic Toc-

Big hand, little hand, no hand, slow hand Sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hour glass And I throw these grains of sand into the wind and laugh And I do not care just what they'll have to say about that Cuz the sand man told me, there's no use in listening

Critical Hit -

Let me simply tell you something: the living is good up on the top of the top-ten lists where I just stood. In my fist, where the disc should be brandished like a trophy, instead I'm holding onto the prize possession: self-loathing. And you know life's sweet if you can sing about that, like I rolled nat 20, double damage on the track. 

Spent Gladiator 2 -

Like a village on the steppe About to get collectivized When the men emerge with rifles from the haystack Everybody looks surprised Like the mice in the forgotten grain Way up on the top shelf Like someone who's found a small town to escape to Keeps one eye on his abandoned, former self

Crows 1 -

They piggy back the tombs of all your deadest friends and neighbors By the getty image, green-cheese moon Dead-of-winter shit, graveyard tchk! tchk! Shifter shit, brother was a face card Crown like a heart-shaped tunnel of woven branches leaning in over his hydro-plaining pace car chase... Wait up let me isolate the bass more

Pepper - (Violence ment)

I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

Sweet Dudes and Sweet Ladies -

tomorrow might be the day I die so I want, or rather must, confide all these things I did, or did not, try to hide. well, if boys are boys and girls are girls. then boys and girls are sometimes confused and I am confused most all the time.

Burn Fetish - (Rape ment.)

Tie me down till my sweet nothing's sour I screwed up trying to squeeze 65 minutes from an hour Outnumbered by such a large amount No wonder why we lost the battle, the counter-culture can't count

One More Time With Feeling -

You thought by now you'd be So much better than you are You thought by now they'd see That you had come so far

And the pride inside their eyes Would synchronized into a love you've never known So much more than you've been shown 

Proactive Evolution-

Feeling for an exit with Fingers stiff as branches Of a tiny bonsai birch Bark falling off in strips Leaving nude wood, white So bright in raw scar-glow Like a fresco angel, except Starved and deranged though And for an exit, trying Through blindness and time If I wasn't when I am

Small Red Boy -

I let my horns grow longer, I observed my skin get redder My soul became a hammer, I started to feel better My hatred turned to pity, my resentment blossomed flowers My bitter tasted candy, my misery was power The truth in me grew brighter, my nature and my nurture No more shame, no more fear, no more dread I am, I am, I am, I am the truth

Trouble -

I took a photograph of me When I was only nineteen I looked a little lost at sea I keep trying to find me

Bruh...- (Explicit)

I'm taking time to do it right, it's like a soda pour Cause we ain't loving all you bitches like we spoken for Damn, packing the van, wagging the man, cracking the ma'am Packing the stands, had them clapping they hands Tagging they Grams, Manhattan was ham Slapping the fans, playing having the plan Fans rapping the jams, sagging my pants You see the type of shit I do on the track? Hot shit, like I poop in the jacket Won't mack your bitch, but yo, I'm bout to come and mack your clique Your whole friend group fucking with Dick (no hetero)

#dave strider #homestuck #dave strider fanmix #music #EEYYY I SAID I WOULD POST THIS #tell me what you guys think #now i gotta hurry to figure class

[realyoungdarius]

Posts about My Marketing Segmentation for My Music Career from Tuesday, 04/30/2019

My brand is almost free of demographic segmentation, despite the fact that I don't sound anything other than white and masculine. It is more based on geographical, psychographic, and behavioral segmentation. Keep that in mind when you listen to my music.

There will probably be some people who think I don't support the culture, because I don't sound or look black or Latino enough. Do people really want the cultural appropriation? I'm not robbing people of their style & sound. I've got my own style & sound & I respect the culture.

My last two thoughts weren't random. I was at the bar and someone said I sound too white to rap. He said I should be paid to write lyrics, though. Lol Honestly, though, I'd never want to be a ghost writer. I don't want to build up someone fake.

All white rappers sound white to me; even the ones that throw their voice to sound black or Latino. Do I still listen to them? Yes, I do. I listen to everyone, just to reinforce that on more time. I’m going to have to reinforce that every time, because some people just don’t learn. 

I'm not giving up my mainstream stuff to someone with a different background. Those are my experiences, just as much as they are someone else's who has common ground with me. I'd jump on a song with someone who has a different sound than me, but who I actually sound good with.    

I don't know why anyone would want to use my lyrics, anyway. They have been really personal to me and people like me (not just white people). They are also really futuristic. Will I end up dead for not giving up my music when all of this is the case? Who knows.

I wrote political music, because I felt that people might be scared of me coming out with music. Will that solve their fear? It should, if they realize that I am basically listening to everyone and synthesizing it where I see truth & trying to find features. Should I be a part of a duo, like Run the Jewels? Maybe. It'd be different than what Eminem, T.I., and Run the Jewels does, because it'd be a potential solution. Could someone get killed over it? They shouldn't; not the way I'm presenting it.

My rap music is not anti-rap, for the most part. I might make songs about not being able to do drugs & about how I'm not street. I'm not saying I'm totally against everything that's street, though, which is why I feel like I deserve to be able to wear street clothes. 

Something to Add:

I said something else I didn't mean when I said I was coming up with my own solution. I'm working on developing a solution that people can stand behind. Of course, everyone has different ideas and I've been trying to synthesize them. I'm going to have to show why I believe what I do for people to really get it. Here's the correction. Sorry, I had another thought disorder:

I was wrong when I said that Run the Jewels, Eminem, and T.I. are my competition. They are compliments of my music, so far, for the most part.

I wasn't wrong about what I said yesterday when I said that I could get killed. What I said could happen. However, in the current environment, as it seems to be in this state, I did blow it out of proportion; which is something I wouldn't normally do. The best way to avoid issues and problems when it comes to my music is to get features or to form a group like Killer Mike and El- P did with Run the Jewels. I need it, because I sound different than other people and it's being misinterpreted as sounding really white. I was going to get groups of people who have established sounds on my tracks with me, because that'd help my career tremendously. If I had to think of who I'd want on tracks to help establish my career and defeat the thought of me being so white, it'd be people like T.I. and Yo Gotti.

The biggest thing I could do to grow as an artist, though, is to get myself on YouTube and on major streaming platforms. Most people don’t go to Sound Cloud to listen to music. 

I don't want a situation where another artist decides to make exactly the same type of music as me, when I'm trying to kill it, because I'm mainly reaching white people (because peeps don't get me). Got to get features or form a group with people with different backgrounds.

Even further thoughts: I only look as white as I do, because of the clothes most of the city sells. I’m definitely blacker and more Latin than Lil Dicky. I’m just not nearly as black and Latin as other artists beside Lil Dicky. 

[dearchuchu]

The problem with us staying an extra night in Durban is that our car was obviously targeted, and we are parking yet another rental car in the same spot our last car was stolen. As an American, I am not completely unprepared when it comes to crime. Obviously, America sees quite its fair share of crime. To be frank, I took the stolen car a little personally, as I’ve never had a car stolen before, and certainly never paid anyone money when my car was stolen. 

Ok South Africa, you want to play... lets play.

Going forward on our trip I took some fuses out of the car every time we stopped so that the car was disabled and wouldn’t start. Essentially, even if someone tried to steal our car they couldn’t, because it wouldn’t turn over. The only way they *COULD* steal our car is if they happened to have the two extra fuses that fit this particular car on them, which is highly unlikely. Your move South Africa. 

Before we left for Coffee Bay, which is about a 7 hour drive from Durban, we checked our relevant internet accounts and Mandy noticed something strange. There clear as day was the charge for the deposit on our Chase card, but then there was a second charge for 23,000 rand. That is about $1,800 USD. This was a little bit.... alarming. 

We call the rental company and they have no idea why that charge would be on our card. I assure them that it wasn’t authorized, and that neither of us signed for it. They can’t seem to find out why that would be there. We contact Chase and they explain that the charge is pending, and they can’t do anything until it either posts, or goes away. The rental company tells us that it will take a few days to sort this matter out. Meanwhile, they have charged... (get ready for this shit) $2,626 dollars (USD) onto our credit card for OUR rental car getting stolen.  

Yeah.

Take a good second and let that sink in. That is what we dealt with for... well quite a while. We called everyone we could call... ultimately turning on international data on my phone, something I’ve never had to do on any trip before, JUST so people could contact us so that we could sort this shit out. 

Please go re-watch the lil’ dicky “Save that money” (OH DON’T DOUBLE CHARGE ME FOR THAT!) video again. Livid can’t even describe how we felt. Tears were shed, sleep was lost, and visceral hatred flowed from both of us.

Still, we had a trip to attend to, so we had to push that heavy psychological weight into the back of our minds and start that long 7 hour drive to Coffee Bay. 

We decided to try our best to enjoy our trip, really there isn’t anything else we could have done. 

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on the Anniversary Legendaries

Academy D.va - The discourse over whether or not it broke the Internet (be it for NSFW reasons or not) is breaking the Internet more than it. Also, this is not just the “D.va in me” (because I’m kin) talking but I really want that game mentioned in the flavor text to be made into a real thing, if they can do it (or at least announce they’re going to) for Lucio’s freaking cereal they can do it for the game that brought D.va to where she is today. Also, minor quibble, but if this is meant to depict past!her and be a “pseudo-Archives” skin, she must either be wearing contact lenses now or the glasses were just a fashion accessory with no corrective value (or she got corrective surgery for whatever reason) because otherwise I rhetorically ask you to explain how the hell she was wearing big Harry-Potter-ass glasses in high school but just up and ditched them by the time she was 19 (when we first “met” her). Also, I refuse to believe this is “sexualization and infantilization” just because she’s wearing a school uniform.

Gargoyle Winston - Holy shit, talk about a thing I wasn’t expecting until it happened (but when it was announced it was the one I was using to combat people who thought because of Academy D.va and Honeydew Mei that the theme of the event was going to be fanservice/vaguely-rule-34-bait) but now that I see it I think it totally works. Also, despite different skin color, wings (since he’s supposed to be a gargoyle not a demon) and only one broken horn, I still for some reason get total Hellboy vibes off of this skin, maybe it’s his face.

Honeydew Mei - I share the opinion of some of my YouTuber acquaintances that it’s nice to have a Mei skin that actually “shows off her figure”, not as in sexy (since I’m not the sort of person who’d think this sort of thing is sexy, being a-spec) but as in her being dressed for warm weather instead of always just being in either flowing/baggy outfits and/or about a metaphorical trillion layers whenever a Legendary skin changes her outfit. Also, it’s actually neat to hear this skin got actually legitimately leaked before the event instead of the weird “preview pseudo-leaks that ruin the surprise” they do sometimes and on the Reddit thread where the leak was revealed I saw somebody making a Waitress The Musical joke which proves that it isn’t just me that’s the Venn Intersection between Overwatch and Broadway fandoms which means my ideas for crossover skins are that much more likely to happen

Orbital Pharah - Now why didn’t I think of that, it’s yet another made-it-work-so-well-it’s-obvious-in-hindsight one. Also, it totally fits with a lot of the 2017 Anniversary skins (specifically Sentai Genji, Cyberninja Hanzo, Cyborg: 76 and Cyberian Zarya) and even somewhat Riot Police Brigitte in that (more so than the rest of the skin batch they came out with) they look like they very easily could be action figures. Also, the fact that there’s apparently still Helix Security insignias and crap on her spacesuit opens up an intriguing lore direction if (just like Academy D.va) it is to be taken as a depiction of something she got up to in canon and not just an AU thing like the rest of them (e.g. whether or not you think cops are heroes, Brig’s not a cop). I would have shrugged it off as a similar sort of “AU” if there wasn’t canonical permanent presence on the moon in that universe. So now I rhetorically ask the writers (if this is to be acknowledged as canon like I said), what the fuck was Pharah and co. doing all the way up there?

Riot Police Brigitte - Should have expected all the discourse to happen from the sort of people who think things like “a realistic cop drama would depict cops shooting unarmed minorities and then finding ways to pin the other crimes the cops themselves did on those minorities posthumously to justify the shooting [because apparently according to them cops in all countries never do good things and white people who aren’t cops never commit crimes]”, it’s gotten so heated in the short time since the skin was revealed that not only do we have people saying it’s “out of character” for Brigitte/”makes her evil” but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone responded to one of the “acab brigade”’s dark-humor jokes about Soldier and Tracer tasering her while chanting about gay rights by saying they wouldn’t do that not because of her being a good guy but because being white gays they’d be too privileged to oppose her. Also, it doesn’t take thinking “blue lives matter” to realize that not only are not all cops in America the same (and no they aren’t all as bad as the bad apples for not at least immediately reporting the misdeeds (that some of them might not even see) if not overthrowing the government to make it anarcho-communist and making everyone perfect so we don’t need cops or whatever any more than artists like Lil Dicky or Bruno Mars who’ve collaborated with artists who have atrocities to their name might as well have been accomplices to said atrocities for collabing with them) but not all cops around the world act like even the bad cops (however many of those you think there are) in America and there are situations where riots are bad things (riots aren’t all “innocent protest by underprivileged minority is turned violent by agents provacateur to give an excuse to break out the pepper spray”) so stopping them would be as heroic as what she normally does. Also, if you think she’s automatically “not a hero anymore” for taking on the aesthetic of a riot cop, boy do I have some news for you about what (some but not all, just like with the cops) knights have done throughout history, even if dragons existed it wouldn’t have been all “save princess from dragon” and that sort of thing. I see why they gave her that aesthetic Doylistically (best way to translate her shield and armor into a cop skin without butchering it) and if they’re going to keep the law-enforcement theme going with future skins, why not (if they have enough of a “uniform” that it could be translated into a skin) give a scientist hero like Mei, Moira or Winston a CSI skin (same sort of thematics without more discourse unless people think forensics people are “in on it”)? And even if you hate cops and think she would too, there’s precedent for heroes getting skins that “make them what they hate”, look at last Anniversary and robo-Torb. Also, why is it only the cop skins people flip their shit about and you didn’t see e.g. people yelling online about how pirates are evil murderous probably-bigoted bastards when some pirate skin came out (be it one that “came with the hero” like Torbjorn’s or Baptiste’s or an event skin like Ana’s or Junkrat’s) because the worst pirates have done things even worse than the bad cops people like this call out. TL;DR nacab (especially when they’re fictional characters from another country) and not all riots are good (and methinks this is just a perfect storm of online anti-cop toxicity meets anti-Brig toxicity because “now they have an excuse to hate her because she looks like a cop”)

Toxic Roadhog - Most yikes-worthy Legendary I’ve seen Overwatch ever do, both in terms of the sheer amount of “wouldn’t want to run into that in a dark alley” and the sheer amount of detail work that went into it (heck, even if I liked Roadhog enough to want to make fan skins for him I wouldn’t have thought of “hook filled with thing needle at the end injects into people” never mind the whole him-not-actually-having-face thing, although the shutoff valve on the belly is kind of hilarious). Also, this skin kinda makes me sad because one of my favorite Overwatch YouTubers isn’t really doing that much Overwatch anymore (mostly freaking Monster Hunter which I do not like) but when he was, he was a big Roadhog fan and while I know he probably still plays the game and is probably still overjoyed that this skin exists, I feel like I can’t share said joy