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nerdiel-has-no-braincells · 11 months

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Sleep Well My Love

Summary: Nagi reminisces everything about you. The day you met, the day you fell in love, every memory he has of you.

fem!reader

Warning: Child loss, attempted suicide, I might break your heart more than I broke mine ( ; ω ; )

No miners! 18+ only for mature content

This is all read from Nagi’s POV

You died today. It was sudden. Too sudden.

You and Nagi were on your way home from a date when it happened. Holding each other’s hands, you were waiting for the light to change so you could cross the street.

Nagi had gotten a text from his coach so as soon as the crosswalk indicated pedestrians could go, he began walking as he looked at his phone. It was regarding the upcoming game with the date and team they were up against.

Suddenly, he felt two hands push him hard and he ended up dropping his phone as he landed on the ground. He heard a screeching noise and the sound of something getting hit. Then, a scream.

Nagi immediately looked up to see a car had gotten into an accident. Panicking, he looked around to find you, only, he couldn’t.

He watched as people ran to the person in the car as they peeled back in reverse and sped away. People yelling if anyone got the license plate and to call the police. It was then Nagi noticed that someone had gotten hit and his heart stopped. There was a line of blood that started right where Nagi had been pushed and it went to the person who was hit. Who was wearing your clothes.

Standing as quickly as he could, he ran to where the crowd was. “(Y/N?!)”

Pushing his way through, he kept calling your name until he had finally stood near you. There was a pool of blood around your and your eyes remained opened. And lifeless.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was shaky as he knelt down by you. “(Y/N) are you ok?” He asked, taking you in his arms. Nudging you, he continued to call out your name. “(Y/N) this isn’t funny. Wake up.”

But you didn’t. Your warm body was losing it’s temperature. Panic set in Nagi as tears began to well in his eyes. He pulled you close to his chest and rested his head on your shoulder, not caring that he was getting blood all over him. He had to keep you warm until the ambulance arrived.

You couldn’t be gone. He refused to believe it. You were on your way home from your first anniversary since you married him. You were both expecting a child and were 4 1/2 months along.

What was Nagi supposed to do? He couldn’t lose either one of you. Not his beloved wife and precious child. You were just about to find out the sex of your first child together.

Your body steadily grew colder and colder and Nagi began sobbing against you, rocking back and forth with you in his arms. This couldn’t be real.

Sirens were heard as an ambulance was nearing. But still, Nagi refused to let you go.

Nagi’s time stopped after you were officially announced dead. He couldn’t feel anything anymore and he didn’t want to. He couldn’t even speak even if he wanted to.

He then heard a voice calling out his name, but he couldn’t bring it in him to look at who it was, his eyes fixed on the ground where you laid before you were taken away.

Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri appeared in Nagi’s peripheral but even then, he couldn’t look away. His tears had dried on his cheeks and he couldn’t even feel his own heart breaking.

The three of them looked at each other with worried expressions. Reo gently set his hand on Nagi’s shoulder.

“We should go plan her funeral, Nagi.” He spoke softly.

Funeral. The word left a horrid taste in Nagi’s mouth.

Tears welled up in his eyes again. Isagi and Chigiri pulled Reo away.

“Reo! Why the shit would you say that?!” Chigiri seethed.

“Because it’s the truth! Her body needs to be taken care of. Of course we’ll help to make it easier on him.”

Body. She’s not a body. She’s (Y/N). And our child.

The three of them looked at Nagi with wide eyes. who whispered it instead of thinking to himself as those same tears poured out his eyes.

It took the three of them to finally get Nagi away from the spot he was stuck in.

They took Nagi home, back to where the two-almost three of you lived. But as soon as he stepped into the doorway and saw the remnants of you throughout the home. He slowly walked up to your shared bedroom and stared at the bed, your side in particular.

It smelled like you in there. Your makeup, jewelry, and perfumes were sitting on the vanity Nagi bought for you when you agreed to move in with him. It was something you had picked out. More like, you had eyed it once before so he decided to surprise you with it the day you moved in.

Something in Nagi snapped and he punched the vanity mirror. He wanted to feel something, anything.

Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri ran into the room to see Nagi’s fist against the broken mirror. There was glass surrounding the items on the vanity as well as on the floor. Tiny shards stuck to Nagi’s fist as he bled.

Isagi and Chigiri ran to Nagi while Reo went to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. Everything felt like a blur to Nagi. He couldn’t have been bothered to care about his own self. What he did care about though, is that your vanity is broken.

The realization hit Nagi as he expected you to freak out over his hand and making sure he was ok. Once he felt his hand being pulled away and being bandaged, he looked over, expecting to see you. To see you fret over his wounds while asking why he did this.

But it wasn’t you. It was Reo. And it angered Nagi. He smacked Reo’s hand away, not letting him finish bandaging. Reo’s eyebrows knitted together, eyes widened with shock and worry. But Nagi couldn’t care. He only cared about two things: you and Nagi’s child.

But you were both gone.

Forever.

Turning towards the bed, Nagi walked over and laid down on his side, grabbing your pillow and hugging it tight. He closed his eyes, listening to his friends clean up the vanity.

Eventually, everything went quiet as Nagi fell asleep.

Nagi’s eyes opened shortly after. He was looking at the sky. Wasn’t he in bed?

Suddenly, he heard your laugh the sound getting closer by the second. Before Nagi could get up, he felt someone trip on his leg. His eyes widened as he sat up to see you, but younger.

It was the moment you two met. You are in Hakuho’s school uniform. You had landed on your hands and legs. Looking over at Nagi, your eyes slightly widened and your cheeks turned red. Nagi couldn’t believe it. It was you.

Scrambling to get up, Nagi rushed to you and wrapped his arms around you. It was a dream. A horrible and terrifying dream.

You squeaked in shock by the tall man who had hugged you, your face slowly matching your cheeks.

“I’m so happy you’re alive (Y/N).” He whispered.

You blinked in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Nagi pulled away and looked at you. Really looked at you. You were as beautiful as he remembered. Holding your face in his hands, his eyes glossed over as he stared at you.

“I missed you.” Nagi breathed.

Blinking twice, you began to laugh. “We don’t even know each other, silly.”

Ah. Your laugh. It was melodic and he loved it so much. Smiling, he introduced himself.

“I’m Nagi Seishiro. You’re going to be my future wife.”

Your face grew a darker shade of red and your eyes had also glossed over. A smile appeared on your face.

“It’s nice to meet you Nagi. I’d introduce myself but it seems you already know my name.”

Life with you was the same as usual, you went to his games, met his best friend Reo, encouraged him to attend Blue Lock and with going pro. You were his rock and he was yours.

You were spending time with Nagi at his home. As usual, his parents were away so the two of you were watching a movie. Nagi was laying down on the couch with you laying on top of him. How you fit so perfectly in his arms. You smelled just like he always remembered; you never changed your perfume the entire time you two were together. Nagi remembered that your perfume was his favorite scent and eventually everything smelled like you. Like home.

Rather than paying attention to the movie that he’s seen before, he watches you. His grey eyes bore into your face as you laid your cheek on his shoulder so you could nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

Glancing up, you noticed Nagi staring at you. Giggling, you lifted your head and set them on your hands, which were laying on his chest, a warm smile on your face. “What are you staring at me for silly?”

Nagi brushed your hair behind your ear. Your hair was always so soft and it smelled like sweet potato pie. A smile tugged his lips.

“I love you (Y/N).”

Your eyes widened. Blush dusted your cheeks and Nagi could feel your heartbeat quicken. As you smiled back, your eyes filled with tears. “I love you too Sei.”

Nagi repositioned the two of you so that you were under him. As he stared at you, he felt his heart skip a beat. You laid under him and were so so beautiful. Your cheeks were still dusted with a light blush, your eyes had glossed over as you stared back at him, and your lips shone a beautiful peach color.

Laying half of his weight on you, he leaned in for a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and accepted the kiss wholeheartedly.

Light kisses turned heavy. Kisses that started with your lips trailed down your jaw and neck, biting and sucking on your skin, marking you as his and his alone, causing you to let out a tiny moan.

He loved the sound of your moans. He never got tired of them and always wanted to do his best to get you to moan louder each time. Nagi’s hand gripped your thigh before he cupped your ass, giving it a squeeze and sliding his hand along your curves up to your breast. Raising his head, he kissed your lips once again as his hand slid from your breast down to the hem of your shirt, sneaking his hand underneath.

Lifting your bra, his hand took its place as he kneaded and squeezed your breast, at times flicking your nipple.

He knew what you liked and didn’t like. You both had experimented with different positions and kinks, your motto being “I’ll try anything once.” You both ended up liking more than you thought you did, so while you had begun your relationship, Nagi had bought the toys he knew would drive you wild online.

Slipping his tongue in, his hand squeezed your nipple causing you to moan in his mouth. Nagi watched your expression through flitted eyes. You were beautiful, sexy even. He loved your expressions when he pleased you. You loved your nipples to be played with as they were sensitive. Just blowing on them can make you wet. Your body was sensitive and demanding and he loved everything about it.

“Ah-Sei I-I’m getting hot.” You moaned in between kisses.

Obeying your unspoken wish, Nagi removed your shirt and bra as well as removing his hoody and shirt. Your eyes had glossed over as you admired his body. Your fingers lightly tracing his abs and v-line. Your hands slid up to his chest as your hands felt every bump and flat surface, making its way to his arms. Nagi chuckled, his arms were your favorite especially when he held you up against the wall to fuck you. You absolutely LOVED that.

Nagi leaned back down and placed his mouth on your nipple, immediately sucking and flicking the bud with his tongue. Your body began to shake with pleasure as his hand made its way past the band of your shorts and underwear to rub your pretty cunt.

You were so wet already just from kissing and touching your breast. It always fascinated Nagi how quickly you were able to be ready to take him.

As much as he wanted to take you immediately every time, what kind of lover would he be if he took care of his needs before your own?

Sliding two fingers up and down from your clit to your folds always teased you. You wanted him to fuck you as he played with your clit.

Not yet. He wanted you to be flooded with your juices.

Nagi began to bite your nipple and around the areola just the way you liked it. He never thought it was cheating that he knew everything already, it was the benefits of dreaming of your life together.

Only this time, you won’t die.

Nagi’s finger slipped from your clit down into your hole and you moaned. After one finger, he put in a second, then a third before he thrusted his fingers into you.

Your hand covered your mouth, you began to moan more.

He was going to take good care of you.

After a couple of minutes of fingering, Nagi removed his fingers and pulled down your shorts and underwear, removing them completely. He adjusted himself to be face to face with your cunt. It was as pretty as he remembered.

He heard you whimper as he kissed your thighs, biting and sucking his way up to where you needed him most.

Nagi’s tongue lightly touched your folds, causing you to whimper more. He enjoyed teasing you to no end. Feeling frustrated, you grabbed Nagi’s head and pulled him into your cunt. Smiling against it, he gave into your wishes once again.

Lapping his tongue, he began to please you. His favorite thing about going down on you is the noises you make. When he sucks on your clit and uses his tongue to flick it as he sucks, you become so overwhelmed with pleasure that only a squeak can come out of you. So that’s what he did.

You arched your back as Nagi continues to suck on your clit and lap your juices. You tasted so delicious; you were sweet tasting but not a strong taste but more of a mild sweetness.

Nagi watched to see you arch your back and begin thrusting your hips against his face. He could tell you were getting close.

Three fingers entered you once again, pushing you further and further over the edge. He curled his fingers in the way you liked that caused you to whimper and squeak. Unknowingly, Nagi had been humping the couch. It seemed like he couldn’t wait anymore but he wanted you to cum for him.

Thrusting his fingers and sucking faster, he could tell you were getting closer and closer when suddenly Nagi felt a rush of cum flood his face. He knew exactly how to make you squirt so knowing he still knew what to do made himself proud.

Wiping his chin, he sat up on his knees, rubbing his dick over his pants as he looked down on you covered in sweat and breathing hard.

You were beautiful.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He was about to take his dick out when you suddenly smiled at Nagi with your arms our. This made his heart stop. He slipped his pants and briefs down, his cock fully alert.

You looked at his cock, admiring the length and girth it had. Nagi knew he had a big dick and you weren’t sure how your pussy could take it all in. But you wanted it, wanted him. He could see the hunger in your eyes, after all.

Leaning forward, he kisses you once again, one hand pumping his dick before he aligned it to your hole.

“It’s gonna hurt for a lil’ bit, but I’ll make you feel good.” Nagi whispered to you. He waited for your approval before he slowly entered you.

You squeeze your eyes shut and Nagi had to keep reminding himself to take it slowly until you were used to his dick as he slowly pumps his cock in and out, each time he pumped back in, he went a bit further. It was your first time after all and you were so so tight.

Nagi kisses your face. “Breathe, try to relax.” He whispered. You took deep breaths, your eyebrows scrunching every time he went further until his abdomen touched you. “Good girl.” He said, kissing your face still. “You did so good (Y/N). Relax now. I’ll take care of you.”

Kissing your lips, Nagi steadily began to increase his pace, not going too fast just yet. He was also gentle since he didn’t want to overwhelm you - not yet.

You began to moan, enjoying the steady pace Nagi was thrusting his hips at.

Oh baby, this is nothing. Nagi thought. As soon as he noticed that you were more relaxed, he kissed you one again and sat up, spreading your legs further apart.

“M’ gonna go faster baby. Tell me if it’s too much.” You nodded in approval. As soon as he saw your head in mid-nod, he began to roll his hips as he thrusted faster and harder. He wasn’t going to go as hard as he usually did, you weren’t ready just yet.

Your moans became louder as the sound of skin slapping rang through the apartment. The way you clenched around his dick was intoxicating as always. He loved how your pretty little cunt reacted to his dick.

“So pretty. (Y/N) you’re so beautiful.” Nagi increased his pace and began to thrust harder. This caused you to also become louder as your body moved up and down alongside his cock. Your breasts began to bounce along with the rhythm and it caused Nagi to grab one to knead as he thrusted.

Taking both of your legs and placing them on his shoulders, he folded you in half and continued to fuck you in the same speed. He knew this one was one of your favorite positions because he could get a deeper reach. He could hear it when you became louder.

Nagi used this position to thrust harder into you, your moans beginning to turn into shrieks of pleasure. The look on your face was pure bliss; your eyebrows were knitted up, a blush spread across your cheeks and the way you were looking at him through half opened eyes, god he loved that look. You were addicting when the two of you would fuck, so much so that you had fucked every day after your first time; at home on the couch, bed, bath, shower, over the counter, even at school in the sports equipment storage, an empty classroom, and even in the stairwell. He loved how your moans that you try so hard to control would echo in his ear. It drove him mad.

Nagi’s thrusting began to turn into twitches as he felt himself getting close. The way your cunt sucked in his cock indicated that you were as well.

Spreading your legs further apart with his hands, he began to thrust harder into you.

“S-Sei…I’m gonna-“ you moaned.

“I know baby, cum with me, ok?” Nagi groaned as his cock began to twitch. “Stick your tongue out for me.” He demanded.

Who were you to deny his command? You stuck your tongue out, which Nagi immediately began to suck on, kissing you in between.

The two of you moaned into each other’s mouth as Nagi’s thrusting began to slow as he came. He continued to thrust in to you as he shot out the cum he has built up. He knew you came with him as his abdomen was soaking wet.

Panting, you broke apart from the kiss. Nagi laid his head on your chest, breathing heavily as well.

Nagi remembered the first time you two had sex in his dream, coincidentally it was right after “I love you’s” were exchanged. It made your first time together more intimate.

The two of you laid there until your breathing steadied. Nagi’s eyes closed as he felt your hand run through his hair. You loved his snowy white hair, how it fluffed and felt like a cloud you once told him. He’s fallen asleep to this many times in the many years you were together in his nightmare.

Thank god it was over.

An alarm sounded and Nagi groaned. He turned over to cuddle into your body only to not feel you. Opening his eyes, he saw your side was still made and your pillow was still in his arms. Eyes widening, he sat up to look around and he saw it; your vanity with the broken mirror. Pain stinging his hand.

This wasn’t a nightmare, it was reality.

His heart thumped against his chest and he ran out of your shared bedroom, desperately searching for you.

“(Y/N)?!” Fear resonated in his voice as he searched. “(Y/N)!”

The apartment was dark and quiet, no sign of you anywhere. No music was playing, there wasn’t the scent of food that had been made, nothing.

Nagi felt his knees weaken and he fell. The bathroom door slammed open and he looked up hoping to see you, only, it wasn’t you. It was Reo.

Tears filled his eyes upon seeing his best friend kneeling in front of him with a worried expression.

“Nagi?! What happened? Are you ok? I heard you call out for-“ he stopped before he said her name. Knitting his brows, he looked down, unsure of how to proceed as he knew your name was taboo.

“I dreamt of her Reo.” Nagi whispered. “Of how we met and when we said we loved each other for the first time.” Reo watched as tears fell from Nagi’s eyes and he felt his own heart break. “It felt so real Reo..” he sobbed.

Reo wrapped his arms around Nagi and pulled him towards himself. He knew nothing he could say could make this better. His best friend lost the love of his life and child. How do you come back from this?

Clenching his fists on Nagi’s shirt, his eyebrows knitted in anger. He knew of what to do.

He was going to catch the fucker who did this and make them pay.

Isagi, Reo, and Chigiri swapped between each other to keep Nagi company, make sure he wasn’t alone at any time except to sleep. Only, Nagi refused to sleep. He couldn’t bring himself to if it mean he would dream of you. They understood but at the same time, he was killing himself over the lack of sleep as well as the lack of nutrients. He hadn’t even taken care of Choki or Saki, the cactus you and Nagi bought the day you moved in together. You wanted Choki to have a girlfriend as well and when the two of you married, Saki had a veil on top and Choki had a bowtie.

It was up to the others to take care of them.

Weeks had gone by since you died and the hospital kept calling to arrange plans for the funeral. It was Reo who handled the preparations since all Nagi could do was sit on your shared bed. His once fluffy hair had become flat, he began to grow some facial hair, not that it grew much, but it was enough to be scratchy. All he did was hug your pillow that smelled like you, smelled like your sweet potato pie shampoo and conditioner.

Nagi wasn’t a fan of the pie itself, but it smelled so good. It easily became his favorite scent because it reminded him of you.

Isagi and Chigiri made sure Nagi drank water, but when it came to food, he couldn’t have been bothered to open his mouth, much less chew. What was the point in living if the love of his life, his soul mate and your growing child were gone?

He wanted nothing more than to join you.

At one point, Isagi, Reo, and Chigiri had found Nagi standing on the fence surrounding the balcony, looking down at the city below. You had live on the top floor condo which had been many stories above the ground. Nagi had held one hand on the pillar and he began to lean forward, prepared to go head first into the pavement before the three of them dashed to him and grabbed his shirt before pulling him backwards. He didn’t understand why they did that; it was his only chance to see you again and it was ripped from him.

Crying, Reo punched Nagi, his fist connecting to his cheek. “I get you’re upset about (Y/N) but I can’t lose you too you fucking idiot!” He screamed.

“I just, I want to see her. I want to see our child.” Tears began to fill his own eyes as he looked at Reo. After weeks, his eyes had finally showed some sort of life within them as he began to grow mad. Mad at Reo for stopping him. Mad at himself for not protecting you. Mad at the driver for hitting you. Mad at you for leaving him. “What’s the point of living if I can’t see them!?” He yelled. “I was right there Reo! I was right. There!”

Tears continued to fall, only it came from all four of them. Nagi punched the balcony floor. “We were supposed to find out the sex this week!” He continued to punch, using the same fist he injured weeks prior with the vanity mirror. “We had names picked! I was looking forward to growing my family with (Y/N)!”

A slap rang through the air as Nagi stopped punching the ground, his hand bloody and bruised, his eyes widened.

Chigiri still held his hand up, anger and tears in his eyes.

“Do you want (Y/N) to see you like this?! Do you think we want to see you like this?!” Chigiri yelled. “We’ve been here for you 24/7 to make sure you stayed alive not just for your sake or our sake but for (Y/N)’s! What would she think seeing you like this?!”

“Ch-Chigiri, I think he gets it.” Isagi spoke up, earning a glare from Chigiri.

Reo felt a pressure building up in his chest and he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Nagi. There’s something you need to know.”

Nagi looked at Reo, waiting for his friend to tell him. What else could ruin him? He already lost everything.

Reo shut his eyes tightly, gathering the courage to speak.

“The baby’s alive.” He confessed.

Nagi’s eyes widened. How? You were only 4 1/2 months along, not long enough for the baby to survive on its own. But more importantly, how could Reo keep this from him?

Before he knew it, he had grabbed Reo’s collar and raised his fist to hit him. Isagi and Chigiri grabbed a hold of his arm as Reo prepared himself to be hit.

Nagi eyed his friends who were holding his fist back. “Let go of me.”

“We’re not doing that!” Isagi yelled. “Reo had every reason to hide this from you! For fuck’s sake you just tried to kill your self!”

Nagi flinched, then relaxed his arm and let go of Reo with his other hand. After a couple of minutes, Isagi and Chigiri let go of his arm and let it drop to his side.

“How?” Nagi whispered.

Reo sat back up from when Nagi pushed him over. “When I went to talk to the hospital about the funeral, they informed me that they were able to save it. Right now it’s in the NICU relying on machines to keep it alive and grow.” Reo’s eyes soften. “But your baby’s alive.”

Almost as if he hadn’t cried every day for weeks, fresh tears fell.

“I need to see them.” Reo gently smiled and nodded. “I’ll take you. But first, you need a shower and food.”

As Nagi exited the bath and rubbed at his hair to dry it with a towel, he looked up into the mirror. He couldn’t recognize himself anymore. He thinned out and he lost some muscle. The bags under his eyes had become incredibly dark. He felt like he was looking at a completely different person entirely.

As he touched the mirror, he realized his friends were right; you would hate to see him like this. Your death hit him so hard and he completely gave up. He was so ready to die if it meant you were no longer in his life. Glancing down, he picked up your toothbrush and just looked at it.

He almost threw his own life away and left your child, his child an orphan. He wouldn’t doubt Reo would have raised them, but the thought that not only would they grow not knowing their mother but almost not knowing their father made Nagi’s heart ache. You wouldn’t have forgiven him once you were reunited.

Putting your toothbrush back in the cup, Nagi grabbed his and for the first time in weeks, took care of himself.

What kind of father would he be if he couldn’t take care of himself? He wouldn’t be able to take care of his child if he couldn’t care for himself.

As Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri chatted amongst each other when Nagi stepped out. He was once again clean shaven, his hair back to its fluff, and he seemed to look a little better. He stepped up to the trio while holding the back of his neck.

Reo smiled, happy to see his best friend back. He might not be 100% just yet, but he was on his way.

Isagi and Chigiri ended up having to leave shortly for practice (Reo had already explained to the coach for the reason for his and Nagi’s disappearance and they were both put on bereavement as Nagi lost his wife and Reo lost what he considered his family) so Reo drove Nagi to the hospital, making sure to avoid the street you were killed at.

“Reo.” Nagi called. Reo flinched and realized he was tense thinking about the driver. They still hadn’t been found. The car was stolen and they were in the middle of their getaway when you were killed. Reo had been using every resource imaginable to find the fucker for not only his but Nagi’s peace of mind.

Reo relaxed and grinned at his bestie. “It’s nothing. Just thinking.”

“Stop hiding things from me. I understand why you hid my child from me but please..” Nagi pleaded. “No more secrets.”

Reo knew Nagi was right. But he couldn’t help it. Every time you were mentioned, Nagi would go further into his depression. Reo planned the funeral for you but he had to preserve your body so Nagi could attend. He didn’t feel right lowering you into the ground without your husband to be there to bid you one last goodbye.

Exhaling, he did feel it was right to tell him. “About the…the driver.”

Nagi snapped his head to face Reo, eyes wide.

“I’ve been looking for them since that day.” Reo confessed, his hands tightening the steering wheel to the point where his knuckles turned white. “I can’t let them get away with this. Not after changing our lives forever.”

Nagi watched as tears threatened to spill from Reo’s eyes. Before they could, he wiped them away. It was then that Nagi realized he had been so involved with his own loss that he was blind to Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri’s loss. You weren’t just married to Nagi, you were as close as siblings to Reo. You were Chigiri’s first choice to go to the spa with, do facials and hair masks with. You were Isagi’s confidant, the first person he would go to when it came to any kind of news or when he needed advice.

Nagi wasn’t the only one to lose you. He felt like a hole had dug into his chest when you died, but when he saw Reo’s tears, the hole only grew. The three of them were there for him the entire time, but who was there for Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri? Certainly not Nagi.

It was time for Nagi to be there for his friends.

The ride to the hospital was quick, and Reo led Nagi to the NICU. Once Nagi was confirmed as the father, he walked as quickly as he could to where his baby was waiting, fighting to live.

They were in a private room in an incubator that was created to resemble the womb. As the father, Nagi was allowed to go into the room.

They were so tiny, barely could fit in his palm. Reo had said they were the size of a banana and Nagi realized he was right.

Setting his gloved hand on the incubator, he watched in amazement as he watched his child twitch in their sleep.

“Would you like to know the sex?” A voice asked. Nagi looked over his shoulder at the nurse who came in to check on the baby and nodded. It was 3 days until the appointment you both were looking forward to.

The nurse smiled as he did his work. “It’s a girl.”

Nagi’s eyes widened. A girl. Exactly what you wanted. Looking back at his daughter, he felt a newfound warmth in his chest. Nagi didn’t care what the sex was, only that they were born safely.

Tears formed in his eyes as he stared at his daughter. His baby girl.

Nagi thought back to when the two of you were discussing names for either sex. It was a long discussion as Nagi didn’t agree with a lot of the names, except one.

“Thank you so much for surviving Himari. I love you so so much.” He whispered.

You had always sang ‘You Are My Sunshine’ to your growing child. Sometimes Nagi would join, but most of the time he watched. The song inspired the name. In a world now full of darkness, his daughter was the sunshine that gave him hope.

Nagi had finally fallen asleep that night. He was so scared to sleep before, to dream of you. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to handle another night of dreaming of your life together only to wake up again.

Himari gave him the courage to face his fears head on. So as he slept, he hoped he would dream of you.

His eyes opened. He knew he was dreaming this time. He was prepared.

Feeling movement beside him, he looked over to see your sleeping form as you turned in your sleep to face him. Nagi turned onto his side and watched you sleep.

You were so beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world as far as Nagi was concerned. Once you came into his life, you were the only woman he ever saw. You were the only one he wanted to see.

Your eyes began to flutter, indicating that you were waking up. Your eyelids fought with your sleep as you tried to open your eyes, closing them every so often before opening again. But once they were open, Nagi stared into the most beautiful (e/c) eyes he had ever seen.

A smile formed on your lips as you giggled. “Were you watching me? Creep.”

Nagi imitated your smile as he heard your groggy voice. “You’re beautiful.”

Your face turned red at the compliment. You were used to his compliments, but when he complimented you when you least expected it, you grew shy.

Chuckling, Nagi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him. You were warm, so warm. Placing his face on the top of your head, he inhaled deeply, taking in your shampoo and conditioner. God he missed this smell. He contemplated using it just to smell like you but he wanted to preserve everything.

“Sei, you’re crying.” You said as you gently reached out to him, cupping his cheeks.

Nagi blinked, finally feeling the tears flowing down his face. “Oh.” He wiped away his tears but they wouldn’t stop falling. Your brows knitted up as your expression turned to worry. Wrapping your arms around him, you laid your head against his chest and rubbed his back.

“What’s wrong my love?” You asked, hoping he would tell you.

Nagi’s hold on you tightened. Would it mean anything to tell you? You were only in his dreams, as soon as he woke up, you wouldn’t be there. But he felt the need to tell you, to talk to you about it. Knowing you, you would worry until he talked.

“You died.” He whispered. “We were on our way home and you were hit by someone who stole a car. You died with our baby inside you.” Fresh tears fell from his eyes, falling onto the top of your head.

You didn’t say anything but instead looked up at him, once again gently setting your hand on his cheek. His eyes were closed as he cried.

“Please look at me, Sei.” It took Nagi a bit longer than he liked to finally open his eyes.

His surrounding changed. He was no longer at home in bed with you, he was in an area that was full of nothing. No trees, no flowers, not even you.

“(Y/N)?” He froze, not knowing how to process what had happened. Suddenly, he felt warm arms wrap around him from behind and a body leaning against him. He could smell your shampoo and conditioner and knew it was you.

“Sei.” He could hear your heart beating against his back and he laid his own hands onto yours, intertwining your fingers before he turned around to see you in a white dress. You had a smile on your face and tears in your eyes. His heartbeat became erratic as he felt panicked, believing this would be the last time he saw you.

“Please don’t leave me again.” He cried.

You let go of one of his hands to wipe away his tears.

“I may be gone physically, but I’ll always be here.” You placed the hand you used to wipe his tears onto his chest where his heart was. “I’ll also be watching over you, Sei. I won’t ever be gone, not completely.” The tears in your eyes began to pour down and you still tried your hardest to smile.

Nagi let go of your other hand and gently placed his hands on either side of your face, leaning closer to place his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. Your hands raised and held onto his forearms.

“Thank you for loving me, for letting me be a part of your life. For marrying me and becoming your family. And for being given the joy of being a mother. I’m so happy our baby made it, Sei.”

Choking back his tears, his body began to shake. “We have a daughter, (Y/N). She’s so tiny but she’s fighting hard.”

“I know. I was there with you this entire time.” You confessed. “Our little Himari will be so beautiful Sei.” Choking back your sobs, you continued. “Don’t ever try to do that again Seishiro. You’re not meant to be here yet.”

Nagi knew what you were talking about. “I know, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’ll never think of doing that. Not when I have our daughter to take care of.” Nagi’s sobs broke through as he continued to talk. “I just miss you so much.”

“I miss you too Sei. I love you so much.” You sobbed.

“I love you so much too. I won’t ever be able to love anyone else as much as I love you.”

As you both cried in each other’s arms, a noise sounded through the area. Nagi eventually recognized it as his alarm. He tightened his hold on your cheeks a bit.

“No, I don’t want to go. Not yet.” Nagi continued to sob.

“I know Sei, I know. But you have to. For Himari. I know you’ll take good care of her.”

Nagi nodded. “I will. I’ll raise her to know how amazing her mom is and how much you love her.” He could feel you being pulled away from him as the alarm continues.

“I love you.”

Nagi’s eyes opened. His face was wet from the tears he spilled in his dream. Wiping his eyes, he got up and began to take care of himself. He told you that he would take care of your daughter and he knew in order to do that, he needed to take care of himself.

~ 5 years later ~

“Daddy, let’s go!” Himari said as she pulled on Nagi’s hand. Nagi chuckled as he let his daughter pull him into the graveyard. “Mommy’s waiting!”

“I’m coming. We’ll get there soon.”

It was the 5th anniversary of your death. 5 years since you left this realm. But every night, you would greet Nagi in his dreams. It was hard in the beginning, but he got used to it when you showed him you weren’t leaving him again.

He visited Himari in the hospital every day, watching her grow. Once she was able to be released, Nagi took care of her. She grew up knowing who her mother was, how kind, beautiful, and amazing she was. He also fixed the mirror on the vanity, hoping to give it to Himari someday.

It was difficult sometimes, but he did his best. Reo, Chigiri, Isagi, and the entire Manshine team helped as much as they could. When Nagi would take his daughter to practice, the coach would watch over her. He had once said that the team was a family, and Nagi knew right then that he was right.

Himari looks so much like you. She had your face, but his eyes and hair color. She was beautiful, just like you. He would tell you everything; her first word, her first step, every milestone. Once she went to kindergarten, the teachers would tell him that she was smart and kind to others. He felt proud that she was like you in every way. He felt that he did a good job being a single parent.

While he was a widow, he kept his ring on his finger. He wasn’t going to be with anyone but you; you were his first and will be his last.

Nagi’s necklace popped out of his shirt as Himari tugged him along to your grave. His necklace consisted of your wedding ring. Reo received it from the coroner shortly after you passed and gave it to Nagi when he was finally ready. He had immediately turned it into a necklace that he refused to take off. It was his lucky charm in games because you were his charm.

There was an engraving on the inside of your ring, the day you married and with an inscription for Nagi’s undying love for you. It was unfortunate that the day you married was also the day you died, but he always made sure to spend your marriage anniversary with you.

Nearing your grave that was beside a beautiful tree that overlooked a pond filled with wildlife, Nagi saw the outlines of Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri, who were waiting for the two of you.

Himari shrieked with excitement as she let go of Nagi’s hand and ran to the trio. “Uncle Reo! Uncle Ichi! Uncle Hyo!” She yelled, jumping into Reo’s arms, giggling. Reo laughed along with her as he picked her up.

“Princess! You look so beautiful! Did your dad pick out that dress and do your hair for you?” Reo asked.

Himari hummed as she nodded. “Daddy said mommy saw this dress when I was in her tummy and wanted me to wear it one day!”

As Nagi neared, he looked at your grave. It was surrounded with beautiful flowers, especially your favorite. Reo paid to make sure your grave was always cleaned and well taken care of. A beautiful headstone was placed at the head and in front of it was a photo of you on your wedding day, smiling so brightly as you held your bouquet close to your chest. It was Nagi’s favorite photo of you and it made his heart beat loudly against his chest whenever he saw it.

Of course his home was covered in photos of you, of you and Nagi, even a photo of your growing baby bump. It was a photo Nagi took himself. You had finally poked out and you were so excited. The photo was you holding your tiny baby bump while smiling at Nagi, your gaze full of nothing but love.

Nagi placed the flowers he got for you down by your tombstone and sat down. He could hear the shrieking laughter of his daughter as she ran around playing with Reo, Isagi, and Chigiri to give Nagi alone time with you since it was your wedding anniversary.

“Happy anniversary (Y/N).” He began. “We would have been married 6 years today. Himari’s grown so much and she’s so smart.” A gentle smile grew on his face. “You know all of this already though. I’m so happy you visit my dreams every night. It’s like you’re never gone. Although I wish I could see you all the time, but I’m happy with what I have.” Looking over his shoulder, he watched his daughter as she ran and laughed as Chigiri chased her.

“She looks so much like you (Y/N). She has your smile and your laugh. She’s so smart and everyone loves her. She’s actually ahead of her class which makes sense because she’s our child.” Looking back to you, he takes out a framed picture and places it next to your photo.

“Himari drew a picture for you. She’s so talented (Y/N) and she loves drawing. She has a high mark in art actually.” Looking at the photo Himari drew, it was a drawing of the three of them holding hands, you with a halo and wings and the words ‘For Mommy.’

“I miss you every day (Y/N).” Nagi whispered. “I can’t wait for the day we’ll meet again, but allow me to watch our baby girl grow before it’s my time.”

“Daddyyyy!” Himari yelled as she bumped into Nagi’s back. “I wanna talk to mommy!”

Nagi chuckled as he looked down at his daughter. “Ok princess. Come here.” Himari ran around and sat on Nagi’s lap, staring at the headstone. He was always worried she wouldn’t understand why Nagi visited so frequently and why he insisted that he talked to you, but she understood and participated.

“Hi mommy!” She greeted grinning. “Uncle Reo said it’s mommy and daddy’s wedding anninversary.” Nagi had to hold back a chuckle when she mispronounced ‘anniversary.’ She was 5, though. Some words were still tough for her to say.

“Did daddy give you the drawing? I drew it in class! You have a halo and angel wings because daddy says you’re in heaven. I also learned a new song!” She began to sing the new song she learned in school. She sang it all the time when she was drawing. When Nagi heard her first sing it, he cried.

It was the song that decided her name. And just like how you sang it for her, she sang it for you.

It’s finally done! This took me so many days to write just because I kept crying while writing this (my friend kept telling me to stop and laughed at me 😂)

I’m sorry it’s so long. I wanted to write a super sad one and it just ended up being so lengthy. I’m going to have to write some happy ones after this to recover my own broken heart.

Blue Lock is created and owned by Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura

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