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ist4rgirlo · 10 months

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─ 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Summary: Now that your life has turned upside down, are you still willing to put your siblings' feelings first? Or would you rather fight for your feelings and do what makes you happy regardless of the consequences that might result in the future?

Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog

Warnings: S2 SPOILERS! swearing, fluff (lmk if i missed anything!)

SEQUEL TO BEFORE EVERYTHING HAPPENED.

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Steven’s Pov

“Conrad? man?” I called out for him — walking towards him, he was there standing near the shore with his phone in his hands.

“I’m okay, Steven” Conrad replied — his back still turned to me, shaking his head. “What’s happening man?” I asked, walking closer to him — genuinely concerned after seeing him stand up so abruptly earlier.

“Panic attack. I-I’m okay, i’m okay now” Conrad replied shaking his hand — like it was normal for him to have this kind of incident, like it happened to him before. “Okay, do-do you want to tell me what got you worked up or should we just pretend this didn’t happen?” I asked him — walking closer.

“I-I got into stanford” he turned around — his face filled with worry. My face started to lighten up “What? Are you serious?” I smiled.

“Yeah man, my mom has this fantasy about me finding myself in the west coast” He said, his voice filled with panic. My brows furrowed “Okay but Connie, this is a good thing. You’ve been dreaming about it, about getting into stanford”

“Well but it doesn’t make sense anymore you know. I-It… It’s just things are starting to get better with Jere and he’s going to Finch in the fall which is close to Brown so.” Conrad looked at me. I went and grabbed his shoulder gently “But.. but you don’t need to choose right this second okay? Just talk to him.”

He shook his head no “He doesn’t even know about it, he doesn’t know that I applied. Just please don’t tell him.” I just nodded then walked beside him patting his back — respecting his decision.

The things he would do for his brother, it was always him who puts his family above anything. It was his dream — to get into Stanford, it was also his mom’s dream, he wanted to go, it was a great opportunity but he can’t, he chose not to so fuck it I guess.

“Let’s go?” I asked — walking beside him. He looked at me and nodded before stopping, pulling his phone out “Oh and Steve” I turned around and stopped walking too.

“She’s coming” Conrad said — smiling gently, his eyes lighting up, handing me his phone. My brows furrowed — confused with who he was talking about. Who “she”? is, i looked at his phone then it all clicked, the only one who was missing.

“My sister?” I whispered — looking at my sister’s text that says ‘I’m coming tomorrow’. I looked at Conrad — he had a big smile on his face. He looks so happy, this means its true.

We’re finally complete. She’s finally here, my sister is finally here. God I could cry because of how happy I am. It’s been so long, i’m finally seeing her — we’re finally seeing her.

“Holy shit” I whispered under my breathe before going up to Conrad to hug him. Conrad chuckled “I’m glad she’s coming, we’re finally complete, Steve.” he pulled away and smiled.

“Omg let’s go, we need to fix her room!” I said giddily — jumping up and down before pulling Conrad with me towards the house.

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THE NEXT DAY

Conrad’s Pov

Today was the day — Y/N was coming. She finally answered. It was just me and Steven who knows, we didn’t tell the rest because we thought that it would be a good surprise. It wasn't just me and Jeremiah who didn't see her for so long, it was also her siblings.

There was her car, she's finally here - with us. I saw her hop out of her car, with a bag in her hand. I walked towards here - smiling gently. The moment she saw me, she smiled so big and walked towards me "Hi" she said, her voice so gentle.

God how I missed her. She was still so beautiful, so stunning. The one I have been waiting for. I reached out for her hand, she held mine back.

I smiled — looking at her in the eyes. "Hey there" she looked down, giggling softly. I missed that sound. God I missed everything about her, I missed my bestfriend.

I went and grabbed the bag from her hand and guided her inside the house to surprise everyone else. As we went inside the house, we saw Belly going down the stairs — as soon as she saw Y/N, she ran to her and hugged her. Steven came in to the view yelling Y/N’s name before joining his sisters.

"Oh you guys, I missed you so much. I am so so sorry for shutting you guys out, I just needed time for myself." Y/N said to her siblings. I can see that she loves them truly, she just didn't want to hurt them, that's all.

Jeremiah walked inside the living room, Taylor behind him — smiling as they saw Belly and Y/N hugging.

Belly pulled away — tears in her eyes, she shook her head no "No, I am so so sorry for getting mad at you. You were struggling too and I was too insensitive about it. I just.. it just looked like you were so strong so I guess I kind of got jealous about that but I understand, we understand so don't say sorry" she said before pulling Y/N again for a hug.

"Oh my cinderbelly. Stop crying! it's open house, we need to stop Aunt Julia." Y/N said giggling pulling away from both of them. She walked toward Jeremiah and hugged him before going to Taylor — hugging her too.

I went and walked beside her and guided her upstairs to her room. That was much better, her being here. Her going here, us being complete. This just made me want to fight for this house more, this just made me not want to give up.

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Y/n's Pov

It was definitely good to be back. As soon as I saw Conrad's text, I just had to go here and fight with them. I had to be there beside them.

There will always be a special place in my heart for this house, since it was also special to Susannah. We considered it our home and we will always consider it our home. It is our safe place, forever and always.

As I got done unpacking my stuff, I went down to the kitchen to get some food to eat — until I saw Aunt Julia with Skye. As I was about to go back upstairs, I heard Skye say "Oh, hey, Y/N. I see you're here too" they smiled at me.

I turned around and smiled back at them "Yeah, I just got here earlier" I nodded before walking towards the island “Also are those muffins?” I asked. Skye nodded offering me one but Aunt Julia cut me off.

“Oh those are for the open house” she paused “Morning” smiling gently. I nodded, I looked at the door seeing Jeremiah and Conrad walk in it. They just got done swimming.

“Hey, Jeremiah… Conrad” Skye said, both Conrad and Jeremiah just smiled. “Uhm how are you guys doing now, you know.. since your mom?” Skye asked the boys — their voice filled with worry.

Conrad looked at Jeremiah before answering “Rough” Jeremiah said then Conrad replied “Rougher now that our aunt is stealing our house” he looked — his eyes filled with no emotions.

Aunt Julia turned around — leaning on the table “I am not stealing anything, Conrad. Like it or not, I get to choose what happens and I chose to put it in the market” Aunt Julia said smiling at us sarcastically “You know, you guys should hit the road now, to avoid traffic” I looked at Conrad, waiting for his answer.

Conrad shook his head no “Sorry but we’re not leaving. We’re staying for the open house” he said before walking beside me. Aunt Julia shook her head no “Oh no no, I cant have teenagers laying around here during open house. You guys need to go somewhere else.”

��Just let us stay” I said — trying to convince Aunt Julia, she shook her head “I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this.” she said before walking away.

I just looked at Conrad — he smiled at me gently before guiding me towards the living room.

TIME SKIP

As I went down the stairs, I heard the doorbell ring. I went and walked towards the door to open it. There was a lady with folders in her hand “Hi, what can I do for you?” I asked. “Hello, I’m the realtor. I’m looking for Julia” she said — smiling.

“Oh for the open house?” she nodded — I paused trying to come up with an explanation. "So uhm, the open house has been cancelled. Our apologies, it is totally last minute." I smiled gently. She furrowed her brows, “Sorry but who are you?” she asked, genuinely confused with who I was.

Conrad went beside me — I felt him put an arm around my shoulder “She’s my girlfriend, and she’s right. The house is not for sale” In my confusion, I looked at him, unable to understand why he had called me his "girlfriend", completely forgetting that he was probably doing this just to give us some time “Conrad right? I’m so sorry about your mom” the lady said. Conrad was about to answer when we heard Aunt Julia yell

“Ignore them! the open house will still happen. There’s just a problem with the ac, but it’s not too big of a deal,” she said, walking between us.

The lady's brows furrowed “That is not a small problem Julia, it’s supposed to hit 95 today!” the lady said — Aunt Julia smiled before walking towards her and guiding her outside of the door. When Conrad closed the door, I heard him say, "Hey, I'm so sorry I called you that, I-" I went and patted him on the shoulder.

"It's fine, Connie. It's totally cool, don't worry about it." I said walking towards him — putting an arm around his waist while his arm is around my shoulder. He nodded smiling at me —smiling because it didn’t bother me, smiling because he heard that word again, the word ‘Connie’.

It felt good to call Conrad 'Connie' again. Being back like this felt so good, so unreal - normal and happy, but the word 'girlfriend' sounded much greater especially coming from him. I would say, it did give me butterflies.

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hi everyone!! sorry if it took me so long to update — i was just to tired and i kinda didnt know what to write next but here it is !! i’m sorry if theres mistakes here and there but i hope everyone likes it !!

lmk if you guys want to get tagged :)) lots of love !!

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sh0tanzz · 3 months

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hii can u do sohee as bf?

SOHEE AS YOUR BF based on astrology ~

reminder: this is for fun and astrology is smth I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!

Scorpio Sun: The stereotype that scorpios suns are secretive is so played out they're just technically shy imo im sorry LMFAOOO. Once a scorpio fully trusts you or has something they genuinely want to tell you they just keep GOING. And the same probably applies to him especially since his Mercury is in Sag. In the beginning he might seem hard to crack or not one to spare many details but once he's sure of you and you two are officially together and solidified oh he's a plain open book. Ofc he's not gonna pour every aspect of his heart out but being secretive really won't be an issue. He has an aspect of sun and uranus so he won't really act in ways that aren't true to him, his freedom, or expression so he'd practice authenticity even within the relationship so you better be in it for the real him !!

Libra Moon: Similar to Wonbin he'd be pretty considerate and would weigh pros and cons before doing anything to ensure fairness. His chart makes up of placements centered around truth, fairness and morals so ngl being equal+in balance is something he'd want for the relationship. Sometimes there's a tendency for Libra moons to end up complacent or non argumentative to keep the peace but I think it wouldn't be as severe considering his sag placements. Rather than being complacent he'd be pretty passive, he'd be willing to engage in trivial debates and significant convos but wouldn't break his neck to prove his point or show that he's right unless it was absolutely necessary. His moon is sextile his venus so emotional balance is crucial so he'd avoid constant disturbances in the relationship so you two remain in harmony; downside he might become TOO passive and too invested in harmony to where needed conflicts are dismissed or he doesn't express himself fully.

Sagittarius Mercury: So...blunt LMFAOO. Honestly Sohee probably says crazy stuff or is more sassy behind closed doors he has sm mercury aspects even some with pluto and mars. He might be conflicted sometimes, has moments of being super blunt and even saying stuff without thinking and then his libra moon brings him back into peaceful mode and he's like "uuuhm my bad". Probably likes fake arguing or small debates. Makes fun of you most definitely but compared to Eunseok it'd be easy for him to apologize if he realized it was too far or hurt you. Instead of yelling he might talk pretty fast and "word vomit" whenever he's dealing with big emotions or anger (especially with his mercury square mars) and due to this he might go quiet during arguments (if they ever even happen) because he knows when dealing with his outbursts he could say the wrong thing or be hurtful when not meaning to. Likes to be playful and even a bit nonserious and childish in convos and tries to make things lighthearted.

Sagittarius Venus: Sigh omg a bestfriend and boyfriend in one quite LITERALLY. Sag Venus has a hard time settling down because they value their freedom and life path so much and they don't really get into -serious- relationships unless they're genuinely enamored with you and can see you fitting into their expanding life. So once he's with you and realizes he's actually in love with you and it's beyond just flirting and pining he's essentially all in. Freedom will be evident in the relationship and there may not be a super specific power dynamic laid out outside of the cheesy "look at how my gf takes care of me.”. He wouldn't abandon his career for the relationship but wouldn't completely abandon the relationship as a whole either but just know there'd be an attempt to split both. He'd be loving and wouldn't be too restricting, flirts via jokes quite literally he would end up being the funniest man you know especially with that sag mercury on top. He values optimism and change and would implement that into the relationship as well.

Pisces Mars: His Sag Venus paired with his mars could show that he'd be ok with someone being the initiator or taking the lead but would still be ok with wanting your attention and doing things to get it (not in a toxic way ofc) . Like he'd want to impress you with unconventionally/casual romantic things or "best friend dates" that soon lead to more. Aw man he's probably a friends to lovers trope type of man like anton :((. Tbh him having a Sag Venus + Pisces Mars such a chill relationship like I said earlier it'd be just like dating your friend.

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angelsinluv · 1 year

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SHIFTING SUCCESS STORY USING STATES!! I want to start off by saying that you helped me so much in my manifestation journey!!😭😭 Learning about states was literally so freeing and i stopped flipping every damn thought and affirming 5 hours a day which was so mentally exhausting for me. This is mainly a reality shifting success story since tbh this seemed the most impossible and out of reach to me so this is my “biggest” manifestation so far! If you’re a shifter and are trying to manifest shifting but don’t know how to apply it to states i hope this can help you!

I wanted to wake up in my DR so i simply decided that i always wake up in it and everytime i thought of it i just went back to state of the wish fulfilled and sometimes visualising myself waking up there (when i was visualising i was thinking of it as a memory rather than something that i want to happen, it personally made it a lot easier for me. Consciousness is the only reality so if i experience it AND accept it as true in my imagination then it has to reflect back in the physicial world too, since the 3D is only a mirror of your 4D) And one time i just went to sleep and woke up in my DR AND IT WAS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED IT LIKE PLS I WAS SO HAPPY! (if anyone is wondering my DR is just a more improved version of my CR😭 it’s also in the early 00s since i’ve been wanting to experience it as a teen and been nostalgic about it) Then i said my safe word and shifted back here so i could tell you about it!! and that is pretty much what i did. it’s really no different than manifesting anything else like an sp, money, good grades etc. just decide that it’s already done and that the 3D dosen’t dictate shit and go back to the state of the wish fulfilled everytime you think about it. THANK YOU ANGEL!!!<333

"i was thinking of it as a memory rather than something that i want to happen, it personally made it a lot easier for me. Consciousness is the only reality so if i experience it AND accept it as true in my imagination then it has to reflect back in the physicial world too, since the 3D is only a mirror of your 4D)"

OMFGGG CONGRATS BABE, early 00s!! i love hearing stuff like that. just know you're always welcome to talk about it in my asks box omg. you did that shit !!

#success story

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emleeeeeeeeee · 11 days

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chaps 500-501 sorry im late guys

okay so first thing even though it might be obvious i feel like vin and taejin have had such a parallel life if that makes sense? like obviously taejin was bought up with everything and anything that he wanted (and taught that everything was his) and we did see at the start that he was decently kind(?) to vin as a child, but only bc he viewed vin as his property. we do see this like attitude start changing as he grows up tho, where he doesnt see the need to treat his 'property' aka other ppl well anymore (rip sujin) and really just takes what he wants from them. he also really just wants everything to be his at this point, as seen when he's like excited at his father's death bc it means that he has more power. so vin has obviously had like a very traumatic childhood, but somehow vin and taejins lives still seem very in parallel

especially in that scene bc its like showing their attachment(idk how else to describe it) to cheonliang, but for starkly different reasons. wait more like how they're both fighting for cheonliang, but while vin(and the other ppl sry idk what theyre called) are fighting purely for the memory of sujin and seongji(rip), taejin is fighting so that he can claim it as his AS SEEN WHEN THE LITTLE BITCH SHOWS UP WHEN THEYRE DECIDING THE LEADER.

OMG THE DISRESPECT I CANT. I WANT TO PUT HIM INTO A FUCKING MEAT GRINDER. (writing this i have to keep reminding myself that the way he acts is a result of his upbringing BUT STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS RIUGSDFHJKNXMCSDFJKX)

YES VIN I SUPPORT YOU PULL THAT BITCH APART

okay ive literally never hated goo more than in this moment. like yes i knew he was a fucking psychopath that didnt care abt anyone other than himself but ykkkkkkk i was hoping it wouldnt apply to characters that i cared abt??(this is how im going to get into a toxic relationship and end up on a true crime podcast)

behold the queen herself mary kim. also possibly the best female character ptj has written imo (maybe zoe as well)

OMG THE TANGHULU BOUQUET ISTG ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL MAKE TANGHULU THEN MAKE A BOUQUET AND GIVE SEONGJI A FUNERAL (help i think im getting too obsessed i have work to do and im here doing this)

OUR FRESHLY GLOWED UP MC IS BACKKKK. i honestly cant tell if its his new or old body at this point someone pls tell me its not just me

thats a bit interesting. i still think that goo is going to be the one to die (but im not as attached to him anymore cuz otherwise taejin would be dead IF NOT FOR HIM) but gun definitely looks kinda depressed in this frame after the whole yk chaps 479-480 soooo idk whats gonna happen. even tho chap 502 is out im just gonna finish my work first and get back to you guys. but cheonliang arc finally ended!!!! and now we hopefully get to see jake kims brother who is like fiiinnneeeee (and a cannibal but whatever im colourblind i dont see red flags)lmao i love how this post just started with like an essay opening and dissolved into shitposting. anyways love you guys prob gonna post again sooooonnnn <33333

#lookism #goo kim #gun park #seongji yuk #taejin cheon #lookism webtoon

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youremyheaven · 1 month

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i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

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audrinawf · 9 months

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omg i’m not sure if i sent in this ask or not so if you see this question twice i apologise :((

from your recent post, “I manifested my dream apartment , dream engagement and dream life in just 2 months”

i get that everyone’s journey is different but i would love to know if you could list out things you did to get where you are?

be it law of assumption, void, shifting, spiritual things, non spiritual things, i love that u give long answers so i’m already so excited to read your answer to this!

im really gonna take a good look at myself, start now and not stop till i get what i want. I think your blog is very helpful too!!

ooooh I love this question!

So I would say I did 3 things mainly.

First I tried to think of what kind of person I had to be to manifest my dream life. It can be hard but I realized that I was going to be someone that didn’t worry about money so I stopped any kind of talk about money. I didn’t discuss finances with friends. I absolutely never complained about money. I noticed that I had a lot of friends that would make self deprecating jokes about money or that their paycheck sucked and I made sure not to engage in those conversations cause I didn’t want to make it a habit to talk negatively about money. Once we start to do this we realize how much we actually engage in negative self talk. It’s such an unconscious behavior we don’t even realize it.

And I think you can apply this to other areas as well. Like if you’re looking to manifest a relationship then don’t engage in negative talk about the gender you’re looking to date and vice versa.

Second thing is I created a routine that I was serious and disciplined with. My routine was meditating every day even when it wasn’t fun. I did five minutes to start with. And then I visualized my ideal life every night as I was falling asleep. The trick was to get into the hypnogogic state which is the state where you are between wakefulness and asleep. When you’re in that state you’re brain shuts down it’s defenses and doesn’t attack you with negative beliefs that you’ve picked up on over the years. This is also when you’re brain literally believes everything you think and imagine. Cause the logical brain is sleeping so if you image yourself in your dream house your brain actually thinks you are in fact in your dream house. And this works cause whatever you believe will manifest. So the key is to attack your brain with things it will believe when it’s in the hypnogogic state. I think a lot of the times our manifestations don’t come true cause we don’t believe we can have them. See one part of us does but the part of our brain that is awake and functioning 99% the time doesn’t so we never get our manifestations. So this is how I bypassed my brain every night. It was hard at first cause I would rather watch TikTok’s at night then to sit and visualize a life that was very unclear to me but it became clearer every time I did it.

Now as I researched and learned about the hypnogogic state I learned more about hypnosis and the link between hypnosis and manifestations which is how I created my hypnosis that I’m releasing next week. So instead of just meditating I did the hypnosis every day and the visualizations at night. That’s when I started reading up on Neville Goddard and the law of assumption and started to do these quantum jumps, now I know the term quantum jump is not from Neville but I discovered it around the same time.

Also another thing on my strict spiritual routine was that I unfollowed so many people on social media, I took a break from so many friendships (nothing dramatic I just declined invites and spent that extra time by myself during this period). It was a true detox. I unfollowed influencer and anyone that had a negative mindset or a lack mindset. I took a break from reading the news, engaging in anything that would upset me such as politics and animal rights activists on social media. I took a huge break from reading the news and watching any tv shows that triggered any of my traumas. I was only listening to feel good music and watching cozy feel good shows. Oh and I almost forgot but I was a HUGE crime junky I loved listening to crime podcasts but that also had to go during this period.

And the third thing was that once I finally stuck to a disciplined routine of meditating and hacking my subconscious for 2-3 weeks I could finally have fun with my manifestations journey. This is when I did a physical vision board but also one on my phone that I had as my Lock Screen. Cause at this point I had been visualizing my ideal life and every time I did it it became clearer and clearer cause the first time I did it I had no idea what I wanted my life to look like beyond a few shallow manifestations here and there. At this point I could see exactly what my ideal day looked like. I knew the kind of food I was eating, the way i dressed, looked and carried myself and even how people reacted to me. The picture was crystal clear. So now I knew exactly what to put on my vision board cause vision boards are POWERFUL! I manifested two apartments in the span of 7 months using a vision board (btw that’s a story I love to tell my friends and I realize now that I haven’t actually shared it here yet so I will do so in a different post) but there’s legit something magical about vision boards but you have to prime your mind before you do it.

I also had a love list and a digital manifestation journal that I made where I would plan elaborate luxury trips and make lists of all the expensive furniture and items I was going to buy and every single think in my journal came true. The trick was that I would plan my vacation itinerary with the belief that is was going to happen. You see I don’t believe I need the money right now to plan my trip. I can plan my dream trip now and the universe will find a way for the trip to happen. And I applied that to all of my manifestations. I can definitely elaborate on this technique if you guys are interested but it’s a very fun technique that works for me. I also used my digital manifestation journal for other things not just trips!

And lastly for now cause I’m going to bed but I promise that I will make so many more posts on this topic. So because I was meditating everyday I strengthened my intuition and so I used my intuition to make new choices every day. If you’re looking to manifest a whole new life you need to be making different choices from the ones that led you to your current reality. And of course we can’t know exactly step for step how our manifestations will turn out but we need to take one new step every day. So that’s what I did. Instead of getting paralyzed by uncertainty and fear of how my manifestations would happen I trusted that the universe would reveal the way step by step every day. And IT WORKED! I got new ideas every single day and I followed my intuition every day and trusted my gut and that how all of my manifestations revealed themselves to me.

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goddess1111sblog · 2 years

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I came across this cool success story on reddit by u/celestial-form. It is worth a read.❤️

A long success story

Here is the summary of my wonderful experience of consciously visualizing myself into a drama that later materialized.

I was 11 years old, living in Tehran, Iran, my birthplace. I was a very strange child with an abstract, sort of a metaphysical mind. I was very perceptive and questioned every area of life. One day I was observing my life and suddenly came to the conclusion that I don’t like my life. I didn’t like the country I lived in, I didn’t relate to the culture and I knew I couldn't thrive there. As I was a very imaginative child I told myself, what if I can escape this reality in my imagination?

The same night I lay down and before sleep, I decided to experience what it would be like If I lived in a different country and went to school there. As I am laying down I hold steadfast to the joy I would feel if I actually lived somewhere else. I couldn’t specify the country but i could specify the wonderful feeling of ahh, my wish has finally come true.

I resided in that feeling, and I even remember my attention wandering off into randomness but I brought it back and again held it steadfastly on the wonderful feeling of my desire being my reality. I dropped into sleep while holding the feeling and I found myself in a vivid dream (imaginal act). I was sitting in a classroom, there were black people and blonde people, and girls and boys were sitting in the same room (this doesn’t happen in Iran). I was sitting in the last row of the class on the right end of the room and I was observing my classmates. Suddenly I had an overpowering feeling that “omg, I live here, this is my classroom, this is my home.” and I had a feeling of certainty that this is a different country from my hometown. The dream was so intense and vivid that when I woke up I had to take a moment to realize that was a dream. I was so certain that I was living there with all of my being until I awoke and realized it was just a dream and I was terribly disappointed that it was all a dream, I nearly wanted to cry.

Fast-forwarding to age 12, my cousin from Germany calls to ask my Mom if she’d be interested in applying for the DV lottery program for a chance to win a U.S. green card. She said oh it must be a scam but if it’s free we will apply. So, all of us 3 members of the family applied and let it go. My mom kept saying oh this is probably fake, nothing is gonna happen. But since it was free she thought well we don’t have much to lose.

Next year comes and we get a phone call from my cousin in Germany. “I have good news and bad news,” she says what is it. K (me) has won the lottery but you can’t go with her because she’s a kid. If you had won you could take the entire family and kids under the age of 21. My mom was excited but also disappointed. She said well it’s ok, we’ll send her alone so she can finish her high school and college there.

Fast-forwarding again, a year passes and my family applies for the lottery again in hopes that they might win. And surely, my mom wins just a year after I had won. I was prepared to go to the U.S. alone, I had an interview appointment at the U.S. embassy in the UAE but we had to cancel it because now that my mom has won, she can take her 13-year-old child with her. So, exactly this happens. We go to the embassy and my mom and I get an American Visa added to our Iranian passports. they said once we enter the U.S. they will send us a permanent resident card in the mail.

So, I come to the U.S. with my newly divorced mother. I spoke English fluently almost with no accent. I am now 15 years old and entered my sophomore year in high school. One day I am sitting in my world history class, in the back of the room on the far right end row and I’m observing the room when suddenly I feel, “I have been here before.” I was sitting in the same exact spot I sat in and some of my classmates had blonde hair and others were black which is something I could never have in Iran.

I just want to point out, that at the age of 11 I had no access to Neville's teachings, I didn’t consciously know what I was doing, I just intended to escape my life in my imagination and I did it at night before sleep and I intensely focused on it because I was so deeply in love with the idea of living in a different country. I didn’t think about what country or even what it would look like, I only resided in the wonderful feeling that my wish is true and I held the feeling so intensely that I fell asleep to it and my subconscious mind put me in the exact drama that would resemble the feeling as completely true. My subconscious dreamed the scene automatically. I didn’t pick it.

Another point is, after that, I always had a sure feeling in my heart that one day I will live in a foreign land, even a psychic had told my mom that she sees suitcases packed and we are leaving the country. I was 12 at that time. my mother thought she was talking nonsense.

From the story that I have shared here, you may be able to tell that I personally nor my mom didn’t lift a finger to make it happen. It all came to us, my cousin offered to fill out the application for us, and she did everything. And my mom kept consciously doubting, she said it will never happen, this is a scam and such words but my subconscious conviction and imagination were far more powerful than the doubts of the conscious mind (i personally didn't think it's gonna happen either, I just had a feeling one day I'll live elsewhere. When we actually won it felt like a miracle. My parents were in the middle of a divorce, they sold the house and all our stuff, I and my mom moved in with my grandparents and suddenly we had good news about moving to the U.S. and everything was at the perfect time. I can even say, it was mathematically perfect timing and the orchestration was done so smoothly and effortlessly. like, an extremely fine work of drama.

I moved to the U.S. at the age of 15, which is 4 years after the visualization experience. Now, I am 24 and received my American passport 4 years ago. Since age 22 I have been consciously manifesting and using the law. Before that, I didn’t have any practice or technique that would allow me to “direct” the law. I manifested a 7 figure business and healed my shoulder injury all from the state of being half asleep. From the drowsy state between complete sleep and wakefulness.

The last thing I want to add is that you want to replace your feeling of attachment to an idea with the feeling of conviction and certainty that it is already done. It is the present reality. Instead of the worry feeling of “what if it doesn’t come true?” reside in the feeling of, “ahh, how wonderful that I am this…”.

It is truly about changing your concept of yourself. Even when you worry and have anxiety around your life you are still in the center of the universe with the divine. And always remember that you have these wonderful capacities because you are God’s child. As he said “yee are made in his image.” that means, the wonderful mind of the creator of this wonderful drama of a universe resides within you. Therefore as he dreams, you can dream too. It’s just about controlling your mind and feeling. And remember, the cause of all our suffering is that we have lost touch with our true Self which is one with the Lord of the universe.

Take this affirmation with you:

“I know that God’s power is limitless; and as I am made in His image, I, too, have the strength to overcome all obstacles.”

and, always, always, always, focus on the feeling of the wish fulfilled before falling asleep.

Here's the link if you wanna read it on the app :- 🔗🔗🔗

#law of assumption #neville goddard #loa #manifestation advice #manifest #sp manifest #111talks #affirmation #self concept #manifestations #reddit

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beebascloset · 12 days

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I think it was strange of you to say that on the post critiquing anti-homeless architecture, and quite frankly the fact that you used the term snowflake is an obvious signifier that youre both politically uninformed and not worth arguing with. you can pull in all the buzzwords you want but it doesnt mean anything if your talking point boils down to "let people enjoy things". enjoyment of the shape of a bench is fine, your black-and-white problematic or unproblematic view is regressive and unusually defensive

The bench is fun with a cool design + has a really cool and interesting historical meaning behind it. unfortunately, the execution of it was designed and built with purposeful measures to prevent homeless people from sleeping it. putting a bandaid on the gaping gushing wound that is systemic homelessness — an attempt to make public areas clean and unlived in while ignoring the question of "how did these people become homeless?" these ideas can coexist easily and someone simply pointing it out is not an attack on your morality. nobody's forcing you to introspect. you look ridiculous, and i think you need to look up what a strawman argument actually is. hope you have a good one

Hi anon! Yeah I guess this is spiraling out of control and it probably wouldn't have happened if I didn't publicly get upset over it so I blame myself and I'm sorry for those who I've upset over a dinosaur bench. Yes I know now that it's hostile architecture and I knew what it was before I saw that tweet, but I didn't think about it because, well, it's a dinosaur bench. Some might compare it to a cute bunny holding a knife but I think that's going a bit far.

And I actually have looked up what a strawman argument is unless its definition has changed within the past year. I was basically saying "cute bench :)" and the other person said "it's hostile architecture" and while yes, hostile architecture is bad, I just didn't want negative connotations applied here if you get what I mean.

Like you know that classic Tumblr post that shows a screenshot of a scene from Monsters University where that slug is late for class and someone said something like "My boyfriend said 'is this a metaphor for slower kids?'" and someone else said "OMG TUMBLR SHUT UP ITS A SLUG"

I feel like the latter person in this scenario! I was hoping you would all see that, but I suppose I came off as tone deaf, and I'm sorry to all of you. I got upset because someone pointed out something negative and true about our world, and I demonstrated disregard to it. If I become rich enough, maybe one day I'll donate to ASPCA (or some pet organization), an ethical Autism organization (Please don't donate to Autism Speaks) and a charity for the homeless. Or I could pretend to be a contractor and get rid of the spikes on concrete benches that could be sat on. Who's gonna get me, the police

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roobylavender · 2 months

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omg i always find the discussion on kishimoto and shounen writers re: writing romance and female characters really interesting bc it's so true that wider fandom refuses to engage with heroines even at the level of male characters who have the same amount of screentime/development, even more so if they occupy any sort of love interest role because they're "in the way" of m/m pairings - but i also wonder how much of this discussion has turned into "if you don't ship this (shoddily-written) heterosexual pairing you are doing a disservice to X female character" with the poor excuse that shounen series supposedly """don't focus""" on romance anyway (if that's truly the case, why does the author bother introducing it as a last-minute element by suddenly marrying off half the cast?) like if romance is going to be a genre introduced to the manga (and if any and every interaction between the two characters who end up as married in the final chapter is to be taken as romantic, then romance is indeed going to be counted as one of the story's genres), surely it needs to be taken seriously and held to the same standard as the action and fantasy world-building genres of a manga...

also not to out myself as a grandma but personally this new idea i sometimes see on reddit or twitter that "shounen authors aren't 'allowed'(?) to develop their romances properly or focus on romantic subplots" honestly disgusts me as a certified 80s manga enjoyer lmao because it's such an insult to decades of prior shounen manga that did in fact take the time to write romance well and thus didn't end up with canon pairings anywhere near as controversial as, say, the ones in nardo or bleach... like it just goes to show how little people know about the genre to be making super broad and baseless statements like that. it's got the same energy as when people read 2010s DC comics and think they've gotten the best the genre has to offer even though 1) they haven't even skimmed the surface of the material 2) modern stories are written terribly compared to their predecessors

LIKE people cite that ursula k le guin quote about H/P to talk about how it's like incredibly derivative, practically factory-generated fantasy but imo it doesn't quite hold true because H/P isn't fundamentally a fantasy story but rather a boarding school one with fantastical elements - but that quote does absolutely hold true for naruto and its role within the shounen genre because every element of it is ripped off from its betters (i.e. slam dunk, HxH, etc) yet people praised it as if it was completely original and the pinnacle of shounen... and yet despite it all, broader fan consensus still found the female characters and their romances in both the series examples i listed (that kishi clearly plagiarized from) more agreeable than the canon ones in naruto 🙈

somewhat tangential to this but i feel like what makes this phenomenon (as in the one you talk about in the last paragraph) prevalent within mainstream shounen manga specifically is the way that manga publication works to begin with. like although magazines are generally reflective of genre categorizations they need not always be so (eg clamp which has published typically shoujo content in typically shounen magazines and vice versa) and usually your serialization in a magazine happens because you applied to it through a competition. and you applied through that competition for that magazine because you were enamored with the mangaka already employed by the magazine. the wsj hierarchy is essentially a long form example of this in that many of its mangaka were either fanboys of their predecessors on the magazine and thus decided to apply to it or they were lucky enough to work as assistants to those mangaka and then spring off into their own work once they had found the footing to do so. the derivative nature of the various series in the magazine is practically manufactured! and it's a wonky sort of survival of the fittest scheme in that the successor mangakas get to pick and choose what elements that were key to their admiration they incorporate into their own work. that's how i think you get to works like naruto and bleach. i don't think it's outright plagiarism but more.. fanboy antics distilled into fanfiction that subsequently goes through an editorial process to prepare it for original publication. the twilight turned masters of the universe turned fifty shades of grey phenomenon if you will. how you fare after that then depends on your own additional input. i feel like although kishi definitely modeled some character and relationship dynamics on those of his predecessors what attracted people to his story was his world (which is ironic because it's more than arguable that his world is underdeveloped in various places) and how that world contextualized those already familiar dynamics. that's why even though the naruto-sasuke rivalry was admittedly modeled off of the yusuke-hiei one there was still a significant difference in overarching function between the two relative to their place within each series

as for the commentary on romance specifically i definitely agree with you that there's no excuse for romance writing to be taken less seriously merely because something is published in a shounen magazine lol. and frankly with respect to naruto specifically i always find this excuse to be very confusing because at least with sasusaku the writing is very intentional.. a lot of people seem to skirt over their development with respect to each other because it's convenient to ignore and that always frustrates me because kishi is more than due his fair share of criticism for any number of things but it's silly to criticize him for the absence of something when there is precisely.. no absence. i think a lot of people mistake subtlety for absence if anything. the moments when sasuke deliberates on his weakness and inability to save sakura and how that should render him worthless in her eyes are largely unimportant to naruto's readership so they either act like they never happen or they conveniently isolate sasuke's explosive reactions to that worthlessness without allowing other people to view the context that birthed them. that scene in part one where he shoves the apples away from her is one i see spread sooo often but no one ever includes the thoughts running through sasuke's head right before it happens

i do think kishi can generally be criticized for not making romance more of a focal point of his narrative because love in all of its forms is so important to that narrative and sasusaku's example in particular is quite revolutionary with respect to the world the characters occupy (as is naruhina's i would say). but i also feel like it's premature of people to say that they lack development. they only really lack development with respect to that final chapter which most people acknowledge is a corny fast-forward future written for the sake of wrapping things up in a bow. where they end up by the end of chapter 699 is pretty well predicated by the extent of their journey and people only really dislike it because where they're willing to look beyond the violence between naruto and sasuke they're not willing to do the same for sakura and sasuke. admittedly i'm biased but i do think it's one of those rare situations where people are doing a disservice to sakura if they don't even try to read into the intents behind her relationship with sasuke. i don't think people have to like it by any means but i wish there was more good faith engagement with it because there is certainly plenty to criticize about kishi but i don't think most people actually even get at what's worth criticizing because they're too busy making up excuses for him even though those excuses are supposedly supposed to be criticism loljfkldsjgdf

#this is such a mess and so convoluted i'm sorry. idek what i'm saying atp #outbox

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netripper · 3 months

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well i didn’t expect that post ab fem v to take off but i’m glad it did tbh. it’s really been bugging me how some ppl treat fv in general, like complaining ab her getting more attention n shit, cuz it’s just like ???

my own dentist, after i told her i was gonna pursue game design, told me to put more women in games. it’s no secret that this industry remains male-dominated, and while there have always been female characters in games, there’s that history there of hypersexualization and the complete misunderstanding of who women can be and what they can want. by nature of cyberpunk’s design, having both binary genders of man and woman playable in the same role, fem v is more realistic as a woman because she’s just… written like a person. this seems like an obvious thing to do, but it’s extremely easy for some writers to get hung up on the Man and Woman thing and write with the classification of ‘woman’ in mind before anything else. if that makes sense

also yeah, i could’ve brought up the fact that masc v dominated most of the marketing for cyberpunk and that fem v only really got the spotlight at the end of the game’s life with phantom liberty. i probably should’ve, honestly; there was a day a while ago where i got so steamed about this shit that i went to tally up their appearances in trailers and teasers, but i gave up, because i had actual important stuff to do and didn’t want to waste the energy. but like, i don’t need to go by the numbers to recall that masc v got most of the attention in marketing and promotional material, because that’s the primary audience of the gaming industry to this day: men. ultimately i just decided to meet the ppl i’m arguing against on their level, because it’s a little easier than upending the entire premise of their argument and going from there.

i get feeling disappointed. i get feeling left out. i get it because i’ve been disappointed and left out my entire life in this space, same as so many other women in gaming, same as any demographic in gaming that aren’t straight, white, cis guys. i mean to give you an example of how low the bar is for me, i was pleasantly surprised by helldivers 2 having feminine voice types AND a lean body type you can choose, and that game’s a satire on the imperial war machine! like wow omg i can present as a girl in this hyperironic war crimes game, yay!

i’m just rambling at this point but yea idk. i think it’s really easy in spaces like this, where the “minority” is a majority, to fall into certain traps. like thinking it’s a bad thing that a woman is center focus, or that the clothing mod disparity between male and female characters means that women have more power or control in the space, when in reality a lot of what’s produced is a standard byproduct of the sexualization of women and often does not represent what the women in the space want. obviously this isn’t true of all the women here; i myself love some skimpy clothes, and i want to clarify that i’m not dumping on the effort that’s gone into making these things nor am i disparaging “feminine” clothing or interests. my question is, why is that which is labeled feminine, more often than not, sexualized? why do some of these things go hand in hand with the act of objectification, independent of the subject’s agency or sense of self-expression? this is a lot more complex problem than i think any of us are qualified to solve, but there’s a quote i’ve had on my mind lately about stuff like this, that i use in my own reconciling of “feminine” interests with the societal expectations, pressures, and prescriptions placed upon them. dan olson of folding ideas said this of his interest in building & constructing games as a person whose culture prioritizes and encourages the western idea of “progress”, and i think it could apply here: “My interests and values are authentic, but they didn’t form in a vacuum.”

i’ve lost the plot at this point, maybe i’ve made my point well, idk. in any case thx for reading i just spent way too much time pondering this and trying to put it into words

#vanta rambles #no rbs cuz this would be really annoying to argue about if it got traction #im just bloggin

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error404vnotfound · 6 months

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omg V you are a math major??? that's so cool! it's going to sound like really needy on my end right now but I literally found people who study math so interesting because I have a love-hate relationship with math so on the one hand I'm like "damn i wish I had been better in math" and on the other I'm like "why would I do that to myself?"

anyway if you want to could you like explain to me more about your subjects and the major perhaps? like what do you study (I mean math duh but like)

also history of math sounds like something I would love ng

l@ink-fireplace-coffee

HI !!!!!!

don't worry at all about this really. also being bad at math in high school it totally understandable (it is rarely taught well because there's no fucking time to get into what makes math cool so you just get methods and formulas for the engineering girlies to be able to use when they go to college) (also it's never to late to learn more math !!!! and you can decide to learn the cooler math (or just become familiar with them) there's a bunch of YouTube channels that make math fun to learn about)

also the "why would i do this to myself" SO TRUE. we ask ourselves this question constantly (the answer most of the time is that we all liked multiple degrees in different fields and ended up choosing math because???? it's what sounded most exciting to us????) (more insane things to think and say i know)

i love talking about this cursed degree don't worry :]

(cut because it got very long)

so. math is a big ass field with many branches. you also got pure mathematics and applied mathematics, and we get to study it all (help us)

there's calculus, algebra, geometry and statistics and probability as the "main" branches. we also take some coding classes (in C. for some reason) (because of course we do) (it's like instead of using a calculator we are using an abacus)

first year is basically so we get a good base for everything we are gonna be doing later on (like most stem degrees, only they learn all the math they'll their first year while we are stuck not being able to do stuff we learnt in high school because it hasn't been proved to us yet) (we get introduced to probability, do calculus both differential and integral in one variable and learn linear algebra) (we also had one physics class for some reason)

we take a class on mathematical language and reasoning too (learn ways to prove stuff, logic reasoning and tools that will be used in other languages) (we also learn how to build the different sets of numbers that was pretty cool). then after this class we also take arithmetics which is very cool and also a pain in the ass

from here on every semester builds on top of what we learnt the previous one. we go from calculus in one variable to two variables, then there's complex analysis, etc. algebra splits into pure algebra (groups and rings and very technical stuff that's very important but very dense) and geometry (linear and projective) and topology, then there's differential geometry and so on. we go more in depth into probability and statistics too

then there's also the standalone classes we take. there's numerical methods (which is why we had to learn to code. they are ways to approximate things irl because nothing is exact), then we have history of mathematics my beloved, graphs (very cool subject), and mathematical models and dynamical systems (heavily applying calculus to real life. think the covid prediction models that was this)

we also get a bunch of optatives to go more in depth if we want to, and we can also take some physics, economics or tech classes to get a minor in them

for some subjects this is very cool because the field is beautifully build. you start small or with what you want to do and things just fall into place (linear algebra, geometry, topology). then there's calculus (we hate calculus in this household). solving problems is fun but by god who came up with all this bullshit I just wanna talk (it's just unnecessarily convoluted imo)

as for how each subject is structured it's all the same: definitions, properties, lemas, propositions, and theorems (and their proofs). then the teacher shows us how to apply the theory to some problems and we usually have a laboratory to show we understood it

we basically learn the Why and How of it all :]

and yeah that's basically it. idk if I answered your questions but you can always ask!!!

#ask:null #i love this degree i really do #sometimes it's ridiculous what we have to learn and do but i love it

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Omg, thank you 💖 you are so kind and patient. I would honestly have sent myself to hell if I were you. I just want you to know that I never meant to be disrespectful to you or anything, and I'm really sorry if it did seem that way. You and your blog is really precious to me and it is always and immense help. I really hope in some near future to be able to have a bank account so I can repay a little of your kindness and knowledge. Same annoying villain anon.

Oh my goodness... you are not annoying at all and I didn't think you were disrespectful at all, so I'm sorry if my post came across like I thought that. <3 I think sometimes with unconventional story ideas, I tend to lean in too much on the "this won't work, here's why" tone, and I want to focus more on saying "this is what's tried and true" instead of discouraging experimentation and pushing boundaries. And when a story is unconventional, and I can't apply tried and true fundamentals to answer how to make it work, I just need to do the best I can to point people in the right direction without trying to take on the work myself. So, it's just a bit of learning and shifting.

Thanks for your kind note!!! :)

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selfshipseaside · 11 months

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omg i totally agree with the “dnis are just a way of trying to prove you arent a bad person” thing (DEFINITELY not the exact quote sorry lol) and thats definitely the reason why i dont have one… theyre just so stupid to me :P like whats stopping someone from just. lying to you yknow? i just block and move on… but also i have this irrational fear that bc i DONT have a dni ppl will assume the worst of me… its really silly… and dumb… and i dont really believe it but it does scare me!!! also considering the fact i have a bit of a problematic f/o im terrified every day that bc i dont explicitly say in every post of mine that I DONT CONDONE ANY OF THEIR ACTIONSSSSSSSS that someones gonna come in my inbox and tell me im the scum of the earth for shipping with them 😭 they arent even THAT bad. kind of went on a tangent a bit there but i compleeeeeetely agree dnis are SO performative !!! i think all discourse labels are performative honestly liek. i dont know. i just think its all really stupid and im just like you i choose not to associate myself or my blogs with shipping discourse… of course i have opinions but i think my followers and mutuals know what to expect from me… i really went on a tangent here 😭😭 sorry… you can ignore this i wont mind :P i hope youre having a lovely day/night :)

I completely understand! The age-old rule of don't trust strangers on the internet, unsurprisingly, still applies today! People can lie, even if they're a "good person". People can tell the truth and seem completely unproblematic, even if they're a "bad person". We simply do not know anyone's true self or intentions. We cannot know those things by simply sharing fictional people and gushing over them or telling people who we do or don't want interacting. It's not that simple. People will tell you who they are, and sure, believe them. But know that their actions will speak louder, surely. Being performative is a huge issue in our community, and people who genuinely are affected by performative activism and this whole new genre of being a "good" person...it's impossible. There's far more nuance in these social inter-community spaces and issues than anyone wants to admit. But you see, being a "good person" should be second nature right? That's what everyone wants to say. But, that's incorrect. We all go through enough turmoil as it is, and we have to continue to be as good as we can despite that. It's easy to be an asshole. That's why we have the problems in this community that we do, because simple respect and being kind is more expensive than it ever has been. Out-casting people and finding identity in hatred is the new gig, apparently. Often times, we are not what we believe in, we are what we do. If you believe in protecting children, and then go and tell a child to off themselves...well that's just plain ol' hypocrisy. Anon, you're really cool in my mind! You and your f/o are extremely valid! Keep on shipping! Problematic f/os are cool, and I think it's safe to say that most of us with problematic f/os don't condone their actions. Hopefully, at least.

#Marnie answers ✦#Another one for y'all! I like this discussion a lot!

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aelaer · 1 year

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Alright, let’s take that follow up ask 😂

18. What are some tropes that others love, but you just tend to avoid?

Or something along those lines. Things you like/dislike. What marks the difference between a “good” and a “great” fic for you?

Whelp I lost my draft as I started this. I figured that's as good a sign as any to save this as a draft and review it a few times to make sure I'm critical of the *genre and trope* and not the individual writing it. And yes I think they're two *very* distinct things. And I'd like to piss off as few people (who aren't blocked) as possible while still remaining true to myself. We'll see how successful it is.

Cut cuz it got long and if folks click it thinking they might get mad, and then get mad, well, you can't say I didn't warn you. I don't like quite a few popular tropes in a lot of stories you see Stephen in. And I'll not hide my own opinions on my own blog. 😜 What's the terminology? Don't like, don't read? Yeah, if (general) you don't like strong opinions that might go against yours, don't read on. You've been warned!

Let's start with some of the most popular AO3 tropes, taken from the 2016 Fanfic Survey from Fansplaining. Here's the top 20 tropes across the survey and if I dislike it, I have bolded it and have a comment beside it. Otherwise I'm indifferent to it or I like the trope.

Friends to Lovers

Canon-divergent Alternate Universes

Slow Burn

Rescue Missions/Saving Each Other

Bed Sharing (aka One Hotel Room Left) Honestly I find this trope really stupid in most circumstances. It just makes me roll my eyes. This isn't to say that fics with this trope are badly written, I just... think the situation's really contrived. There's better ways to explore pining.

Teamwork

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Huddling for Warmth I only dislike it if it's adding unnecessary sexual tension. Like if you're in a perilous situation you don't need to talk about how omg touching him makes you feel things. It's like - dude you're gonna lose fingers otherwise. Characters, you need to shut the fuck up, this is not the right time. You guys can be romantic later. Hell this even counts for established relationships; characters getting aroused when they're in actual perilous situations is one of my biggest pet peeves in romance. It's dumb. (Note- this doesn't count if they're joking about it, joking is a great coping mechanism. I mean legit horniness as they're half-dead or something. What the fuck. Exception if the author explicitly lists being in legit perilous situations as a fetish in which case, good for author for that creativity.)

Mutual Pining

Established Relationship

Fix-it Fic

Isolated or Trapped (e.g. in a cave, a Canadian shack, etc.)

Missing scenes or fill-in fic

Everyone Knows They're In Love

Unresolved Sexual Tension

Fake Relationship (incl. Married for a Case and Marriage of Convenience)

Pining

Worldbuilding

Only 2 out of the top 20, not bad! Most are "take it or leave it" but some I like so yay.

Okay now for the next part.

On my Doctor Strange AO3 filtered page that I have up in perpetuity on my phone, I have the following filters applied to exclude (which takes off about 20% of all fics in the category from sight). Ordered from least likely to offend to most likely to offend others:

Non-English fics

Peter Parker/Stephen Strange

Stephen Strange/Reader

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly

An honorable spicy mention that isn't easily filtered so I don't filter it but I get into it below. It involves Peter.

Not English fics: With as picky a reader as I am, auto Google Translate simply doesn't work well for me. Trust me, I've tried and I was very sad when translate proved to be less than great. I wish I could speak/read all languages.

Peter/Stephen: I had to block this one because it was just coming up too much after NWH, but America/Stephen falls here as well (it's just significantly rarer and I can easily skip those fics). No hard feelings to those who write/ship it because they're, you know, fictional, but I'm definitely not a fan of the trope. Underage with two minors already skeeves me out, underage with a middle aged man and a minor is a big no-go unless the adult is framed as a villain in the narrative (and with luck gets justice served to him). But in the shipping sense this isn't usually the case in the story, and while some authors do a great job in showing it's not right/good, this isn't my flavor of Stephen at all. Even villain Stephen.

In the case the minors are aged up to be legal, I still dislike it. I find it incredibly creepy IRL when a person goes for someone who is young enough to be their child, and I can't separate that feeling in the fiction I read for the most part. The exception to this rule is when the person is like over 35 - by that age you know if you want to be with a 55 year old, and you have all that life experience. But there's so much growing done in the 20s and a lot of life experience that nothing but time can provide.

Finally, I find men in their 40s who are looking for someone (especially a girl) 24 or younger incredibly immature and, frankly put, the absolute opposite of dignified and sexy. There are exceptions of course, but my good guy!Stephen doesn't fall into that category. He's interested in brains, personality, and life experience, with looks being like, the 4th factor, haha, so no need for such a large age gap. Again, just skeeves me out.

Stephen Strange/Reader: I wouldn't have blocked it if it wasn't so prevalent, but it's literally Stephen's second-most popular ship. All respect to anyone who enjoys reader-insert fics, but I just... don't. The handful of times I've tried it I couldn't see myself as the supposed character because they were so different from who I am as a person. "Choose your own adventure" books that I read in my youth worked for me because I had choices in steering the story; that's not the case in reader fics so I'm left seeing "myself" doing things that I'd never do in a million years. That contradiction just makes me unable to appreciate them myself.

Big reason I don't have that problem with OCs is because they're not me, and so I don't have that weird contradictory feeling while reading the fic. They're another person so I can appreciate them as another character, especially if Stephen manages to stay in character within the story. But as romance isn't a genre I actively look for, I don't tend to look out for OC fics either as they're usually super romance-heavy as opposed to the romance being a side plot (which is how I get through canon char romances - if it's a side plot in the very long story I'll get through it for juicy plot).

Not Civil War Team Captain America Friendly & Not Steve Rogers Friendly: Blocking these two covers the majority of the stories that are not other-character friendly, and it blocks almost all Civil War Team Iron Man fics, so these two tags cover basically the entire gauntlet of that type of MCU fic. Ever since AO3 canonicalized those tags my blood pressure has lowered significantly and it's made browsing AO3 so much less stressful.

I'll say it up front: I don't think a fic can be good writing if it's written to be Not Team Cap Friendly. That's not to say that the writer themselves is incapable of writing quality works because that's usually not the case. But for works with that specific trope, I do not think that work can be good. A significant factor of what I consider good fanfic writing/bad fanfic writing is characterization, and the characterization is usually butchered in this genre of fic.

If an author chooses only to write this trope POV, all the more power to them. However, I think they are limiting their capabilities in choosing to ignore the grey storytelling the MCU brought to the story and are definitely limiting their visions by choosing to view these grey characters and their grey choices as black and white/good and bad with all the nuances erased. And because those choices are made, I don't think that the fic that comes out with those limitations can be considered good writing. And here are the reasons why, largely centering around characterization:

The only way these fics work is by making Steve completely OOC. I've seen writers erase all his leadership capabilities established in the first 3 films he was in, his ability to think fast on his feet, any sign of intelligence that is firmly established in the first three films he was in, and make him callous in a way that he hasn't ever shown in canon. I've seen writers make Steve unaware of email, I've seen them say that he never led men in WW2 (and isn't an actual captain), and most ridiculously, I've seen them say he was trying to kill Tony in Siberia and left him for dead there and completely ignore all his training in that if he wanted to kill Tony, he very well could have. (And ignore that T'Challa was there as well ffs - that's another rant.) But yes - this is all OOC to Steve's character. If someone wants to know why saying Steve trying to kill Tony in Siberia is OOC and thus not Steve friendly, send me a separate ask as I have a write up on Discord that I can bring here if folks want clarification on that front.

If you have to make other characters OOC to make your best boy shine better, I don't trust you to write best boy well. And usually he isn't. Tony is a terribly flawed character which is why he's so so so interesting, but Not Team Cap friendly fics are determined to erase all of Tony's flaws and everything that makes him interesting. For instance, I've seen Tony suddenly become an expert negotiator and politician, ignoring both IM2 and his lack of finesse with Ross in CW (this isn't him delegating the work to lawyers/PR people - this is in fics where he's the figurehead behind this because he's suddenly an expert political negotiator). Then in some fics Tony's suddenly a socialist, ignoring the fact that he's made his fortune and still makes money from his corporation and there's nothing in canon that suggests that he ain't still benefiting from the capitalist institution. He's *generous*, absolutely, and I headcanon he put in hundreds of millions into rebuilding Sokovia - but he's not suddenly a socialist. He's a rich white man with rich white man privileges and while he's doing his best to make good in the world, he has benefits that the rest of the world just doesn't. And Tony's still arrogant and it can still be hard to work with him and erasing all those flaws makes him just... not Tony. He's just this bland vanilla OOC caricature.

In a lot of "not team cap friendly" fics I see a tag along the lines of "actions have consequences". If that's the case, why the hell wasn't Tony prosecuted for making Ultron? Wanda didn't force him to make anything - she amplified his fears, absolutely, but he made the robot. In secret. And that robot killed a city. Tony in CW is rightfully really regretful about it - but if actions actually had consequences and Tony tried to get Team Cap like, jailed or forcefully retired (like he or his friends do in some fics), Nat should strike back and tell everyone that he was behind Ultron. IT'S LIKE EVERY CHARACTER MAKES MISTAKES OR SOMETHING AND THAT NONE OF THEM ARE PERFECT. WHAT A THOUGHT. And that's why that tag is not very well thought out. The tag ignores the stark (hah) fact that all Avengers have made mistakes, some of them major - and Tony's absolutely not exempt from that. And his mistake-making didn't stop after he became Iron Man.

All of Tony's friends ignore that Tony recruited a 15 year old to Germany and guess what? Pepper and Rhodey aren't Tony boot-lickers. They'd give him the appropriate "What the fuck were you thinking" language because yeah, that was fucked up! Ignoring that happened is another big item in these type of fics.

Stephen's personality is typically bland and he often has no life beyond Tony's in these type of fics. He definitely has no opinions on the Avengers that *differ* from Tony because him having his own opinions, or taking the time to form his own opinions from his own interactions, would be showing more nuance and depth than these fics want to get into.

Stephen's often petty and violent, especially towards Steve - and again completely ignores all of Tony's mistakes because Tony doesn't make horrific mistakes, oh no! I'd argue the petty violence is OOC, but fucking DS2 and fucking Waldron Jossed that. So if you want that petty violence, it's technically seen on screen, but that's a *Waldron* idea so... yeah. I don't know any big Stephen fan who is particularly fond of Waldron and what he brought to Stephen's character. But this whole essay is about OOC characterization so I can't argue that this is OOC anymore. Fucking Waldron.

Like Stephen, Rhodey and Pepper also lose their personalities and ability to argue with Tony because Tony is always right. Rhodey forgets that Tony is a billionaire and can easily go use a lab in Stark Industries buildings across the country, or go to one of his many homes that all billionaires have because they're *billionaires*, if he *has* to avoid Steve for some reason. Rhodey also forgets that Tony could handle this with the best therapist money can by if he can't physically handle being in a room with someone he dislikes. If Steve actually tried to kill him in a fic, please go back to the first bullet point on this list. An IC Steve wouldn't so there wouldn't be that fear of more physical retaliation because Steve wouldn't be trying to stop Tony from killing Bucky, so again, unless Tony tries to kill Bucky once more, the situation won't escalate to violence. But yes, in these fics, Rhodey would prefer that the civil rights breaking Accords that allow indefinite imprisonment with no promise of trial stand. He'd rather the rest of the Avengers remain fugitives with no home because he forgets his friend is a billionaire with virtually unlimited resources to go wherever he wants and to get the help he needs. The growth we see in his stance that came with IW after he saw the Accords' rollout just poofs away.

Pepper tends to be turned into a secretary again just there to help with Tony's emotional needs instead of a powerful CEO whose really fucking busy running a company.

So with an OOC Steve, it usually leads to an OOC Tony, OOC Rhodey, OOC Pepper, and OOC Stephen. And that is why I consider these fics bad.

There may be exceptions to this, but when I was still attempting the tag in 2019, I never found a fic under the tag that was an exception. I stopped trying the last 3 or so years. And unless you're an author who's written in that tag and you want me to read your story and want to try to change my mind (because you're a masochist? why would you want to do this to yourself?), don't send me those fics. 99% I'm going to find them bad.

I'm not gonna subject those authors to the above opinion because they enjoy the black/white world and they have a huge readership who loves that crack. And good for them! That doesn't change my opinion that I think it's lousy writing because characterization is 70% of my opinion of a fic. If you have all this OOC characterization in a non-crack/parody fic, I just won't have a high opinion. And I'll say it in my own space under a cut, but I'm not going to search you out anymore - I haven't since 2019 (early 2020 was the cut off). Writers have the right to write what's popular - and I can dislike that popular content. But it's a lucrative readership and if that black and white world brings you joy, then all the more power to you.

Important: Not character-friendly fics are different from Dark!character fics. Dark character fics acknowledge that in canon, the characters are written as protagonists and heroes, and the author is purposefully changing this. In not character friendly fics, the author is usually inventing something stupid or terrible (and often enough ooc) for the character to have done/not done to strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist, or is ignoring canon traits of the character to, again, strengthen the position of their chosen protagonist. This is especially seen with Steve.

Honorable mention: I dislike the majority of fics (no idea of percentage but very likely over 50%) labeled Supreme Family, *strictly* due to how Peter is treated. Let me explain.

Peter is an incredibly independent teenager living in NYC with his own friends and his own brains and solo superheroing the majority of the time. These fics have a tendency to erase all of this, making him overly reliant on Tony, making him act as if he's aged between 8 to 12 rather than 15 to 18, and erasing his connection to May, Ned, and MJ. His whole life is made secondary to be part of the Tony Stark fanclub and it's *weird*. Peter is so much more than his connection to Tony and fans of this trope sometimes forget this.

I'll give a real world example. There's a large age gap between my sister and myself, so I got to see her in her teenage years while I was an adult. She's smart, fiercely independent, and had good friends and extra curricular activities throughout high school just like Peter did. We had family dinner together on occasion but she wanted to be doing her own thing as much as possible. She'd text my parents for the "Hey I'm alive" check ins but otherwise? She was AWOL as much as she could get away with.

Peter may be less so, especially if May insists on dinner together at least a couple times a week with his form of extracurricular activities, but I cannot emphasize enough how Peter having his own life is so important to his character and him being around Tony most of his free time outside of school and Spider-Man is *weird*. Even if he likes him!

This is just one teenager in my example, but a staple of teenagers is finding their independence as they grow into adulthood. Clinging to other adult figures does not tend to be the trend with those who have a big independence streak.

Peter in canon is all about establishing his independence - and you could see this especially throughout all of Homecoming. His independence is integral to his character. And if Tony was his adopted dad in the fic, I'd say him always hanging out with him is doubly weird because, again, independence. It's a major part of most teenagers and it's very well established in Peter's personality.

So yeah. Fic writers please stop writing him like a 10 year old unless he's actually 10 in the fic. Let him live his own life in the Supreme Family trope. Let him go out with friends and do after school clubs and not go to Tony's lab after school every day of the week because it's just not him and his movies established that very well. Let him get annoyed at the tracking and let him yell at his parental figures because conflict is normal. Let him be a teenager.

(And as someone who loves Found Family, I can't emphasize enough how much that theme falls short if the characters within the family forget their independence and lives outside of the family. It's just no fun.)

So yeah. Have all these spicy hot takes!

#meta #so many spicy takes #if you get easily offended by strong opinions don't click the read more #the rest of the tagging is for my own internal sorting rather than tumblr algorithm #so apologies if some mcu fans who don't know me come across this #this post may not be for you because i do have some minority opinions in the space #ask #answered #mckiwi #fanfic #tropes #tony stark #anti fics #steve rogers #stephen strange #peter parker #strong opinions

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