#'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!'

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

#community #jeff winger #trans jeff winger #GOD i'm gonna make a video essay about it if nobody stops me #yall know that youtube channel AreTheyGay? i want to be that but AreTheyTrans #the videos would just b like... jeff community. neo the matrix. bill and ted bill and ted. audrey little shop of horrors. jo little women. #maybe i should start that youtube channel sjdfklsj #thank you for prompting me to talk about this because i think about it twice a day #i might end up reblogging this and just adding different responses jeff has had to casually homophobic/transphobic things that happen #in the show #like the episode that last photo is from when the dean is like #'spring transfer student dance isn't rolling off the tongue so we're calling it The Tr@nny Dance!' 'much more greendale.' #OH AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PIERCE'S DAD!!! HOW DID I NOT MENTION THAT EARLIER SJFKLSJ #'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!' #alright i need to do my homework now ajfklsdjfl

[criminalmutantsins]

My Top 10 Favorite Ducktales Characters

…………………………………………………….

NO. 10 Hewey Duck

At number 10 is Huey!

Hewey has been my least favorite triplet for most of the series; it by no means he’s a bad character or any of the sorts, Huey is more down to earth compared to other characters. It’s hard to say much about Hewey other than how he’s a sweet, fun character I’m glad is around.

His development in season three was good, though the weakest of the three. Kinda half-baked and rushed, as if the creators thought, “we have to add some Huey development since this is his season.” With Dewey and Louie’s, it felt like their respective seasons revolved around them instead of the other way around. The only episode I really think perfectly gave Huey development and at the same time move the main plot forward fluidly was the “Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!” with the whole Huey vs. Violet rivalry. Y’know what also sucks. Huey wasn’t even that integral to the finale. That annoys me to no end.

Now, I’m going to end this with positive notes.

What got Huey into the list was his sweet nature and how integral he is to the team’s balance. Every team needs someone who represents order and Huey is just that. Plus, his innocent love for romance is so cute. I love the episode where him and Webby were setting a date up for Fenton and Gandra.

NO. 9 Scrooge McDuck

Scrooge is probably the most interesting protagonist I’ve ever watched. Unlike most of them, he’s more of an anti-hero than a pure hero like Steven Universe or Luz from Owl House.

I don’t really have much to say about him because I don’t love him as much as the characters above him. He probably has the best development- Lena’s rivaling his really well. In the beginning, Scrooge was a grumpy miser but now, thanks to the kids, his heart is softer and more open. His cheapness is annoying, but the good qualities overthrow the bad.

Scrooge most likely would’ve been higher in the list if “The Life & Crimes of Scrooge McDuck” didn’t happen- or at least occurred in season two instead since humility and hard work was the main theme. The writers went overboard showing the audience how bad of a person Scrooge was in the past, especially with him taking advantage of the poor villagers and leaving them in their states-without even helping them. This episode downgraded Scrooge pretty badly.

NO. 8 Donald Duck

Although on the lower half of the list, I still hold so much love and respect for this version of Donald. He’s such a massive improvement from his previous iteration. The creators made him kind and strong-willed but kept his anger issues. Though, they turned that flaw into a more comedic and positive aspect of Donald since he uses that intense anger to protect his family. Speaking of that, his relationship with the triplets is absolutely adorable. He loves and protects them like a great father, and I’m still a bit peeved that characters didn’t acknowledge that more. Instead, their relationship was sidelined and pretty much haphazardly... replaced-I don’t know if that’s the right word- with May and June.

Another thing that annoyed me was Donald’s voice treatment. The creators pretty much portrayed his speaking problem as a joke, which is terrible. I hope to goodness that children with speaking troubles don’t take those “jokes” to heart because there is nothing wrong with having a different voice. It’s also surprising how much characters mostly don’t understand him when I can seventy percent of the time. This complaint is more towards season one since that was the season where most of the jokes happened.

Anyways, I hope this Donald will start a new beginning for the next iterations of him. A nice guy who has anger issues but means well. Same with him and Daisy’s relationship-another massive improvement the writers did. They are such a great couple from the episodes we got with them and this dynamic should continue.

NO. 7 Webby Vanderquack

Another character who was massively improved was the great Webby Vanderquack!

In the original series, she was a boring damsel-in-distress with no personality-pretty much like the earliest Disney princesses. The ‘17 creators did such a great job molding reboot Webby into a character who can kill you with kindness or impressive fighting skills. This pink-loving queen is probably the sweetest character I’ve ever met; I just want to hug her.

I love her optimism and caring personality. She was able to change Lena for the better and not give up on her when almost everyone did. Webby is the best friend you can have.

While I’m not fully on board with the Webby finale twist, I really liked how her interest in the McDucks played some big part of the finale. Do I wish it was in different circumstances? Yes, but I’m still glad Webby got an important moment for herself. That interrogation scene was very emotional; seeing Beakley fully breakdown like she did was shocking and really set the mood of how pivotal that moment. I literally almost cried seeing Webby so heartbroken by her grandmother’s lies- this pink baby deserves all the love in the world. At least she found out the truth and gained a parental figure in her life.

NO. 6 Louie Duck

I’ve gotta admit; I did not like Louie that much at the start of the show. Greedy and selfish characters usually don’t get my love, but season two changed. A lot more depth was added to him such as his insecurities and anxieties. I struggle with these issues and it was nice to see a character show that as well. One of my favorite arcs was Louie’s trouble connecting with Della; it was realistic and not rushed. While watching this season, I was often having trouble connecting with people, even old friends. Sort of having someone experiencing them alongside me made me feel less insecure and lonely.

His development was really good too, from beginning to end. At first, Louie was someone who was willing to execute every angle no matter how much it could hurt his loved ones. Yet, he grew to be a humbler person who now knows the consequences of his angles. A favorite episode of mine is “The Richest Duck in the World” because of this development. Seeing Louie clean the Bombei’s shoes with Scrooge made my heart melt.

What lowered him down to number eight was season three. There were a few episodes that backtracked Louie’s development like “The Trickening” and “The Fight for Castle McDuck” episodes. He was a real jerk towards Huey for no reason. It frustrated me enough to affect this list. And I also prefer other characters more.

NO. 5 Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera

You can’t expect me to not put this quirky and adorable dork in the top five! He’s one of the best boys in the show. Him being voiced by the great Lin-Manuel Miranda does add some bonus points- you can tell I’m a big Hamilton fan.

Like Webby, Fenton was drastically improved. He became this sweet, scatterbrained scientist who only wants to help people. I instantly fell in love with him. And it got even better when Fenton became Gizmoduck- my second favorite DT hero. He deserved so much more screen time, especially in season 3; “Beaks in the Shell” was not a good enough episode for Fenton and his relationship with Gandra. There should’ve been more. The finale moments he had was not satisfying enough, particularly him and DW sort of team up. It was rushed.

If a Darkwing Duck reboot takes place in the ’17 universe then Fenton must be a major character- at least show up in ten episodes a season. A Gizmoduck and Darkwing crossover is essential, and I will riot if it that doesn’t happen. And more Fandra, my fifth -maybe fourth- favorite ship.

I also had a big crush on Fenton back in season one. You can’t help but love him this sweety pie. This pretty much influenced thirty percent of his placement.

NO. 4 Launchpad McQuack

This muscular dummy is amazing! He brings a sense of comedy and light to every episode he is in. It’s infectious as h*ll!

I liked Launchpad instantly. He’s kind and wants the best for people. Optimistic characters are almost the best characters. They are great reminders of how there are still many good people in the world. Whenever I’m down and watch Ducktales, LP makes me feel a lot better with his dumb yet endearing moments. My favorite jokes are literally LP sending Beakley an invitation saying not to come and when he tried to make small talk with Gosalyn at the window; I can never stop laughing at those moments.

There are times when Launchpad’s dumbness irks me, but his good qualities overthrow that. Though, I wish he wasn’t used too much as comedy relief; LP had the potential to gain more development than what he got. I’ll give an example. Learning about his family would’ve been great to know- an appearance wouldn’t have hurt either. It could’ve opened a reason to why LP cares about Scrooge’s opinion and cares about him like a dad. Maybe there’s some bitterness in LP’s relationship with his dad and that’s why he doesn’t talk about his parents. Loopey not being introduced was a missed opportunity. Big brother Launchpad is all I need.

I also have a small crush on Launchpad, though mostly for his personality and voice. He’s still cute *wink.*

NO. 3 Drake Mallard

We made it to the top three! With the dashing caped crusader Darkwing Duck starting us off!

It’s funny how much I love a character who’s only appeared in like five-maybe six- episodes enough to put him in the top three. I had some trouble defining many reasons why I love him; it’s this weird connection I have with DW. He’s this dorky dummy who loved a big part of his childhood enough to make it his reality, yet I love him so much.

I think what made me fall in love with him was how similar we are. Like him, I was a meek person who got pushed a few times- either physically or mentally. Those times also inspired me to grow stronger and be an inspiration for the next generation. I can be pretty clumsy too(lol). Characters I see myself in are usually really high in my love list and it shouldn’t be surprising that Drake is one of them.

His kind and genuine nature was also what drew me in. And, I just made this realization, this is the first time I don’t prefer the original iteration over the latest one. I still love ‘91 Drake but he’s too arrogant.

Unlike the original DW, Drake became a hero to help others- though a wish for glory played a bit of a part too. This clumsy, stuttering actor took a step to become his hero and a future one for children like him. That’s admirable. His lovable personality also being so cute enough for me to want to give a big hug is a good addition.

NO. 2 Lena Sabrewing

Hands down Lena had the best development!

She started off as this distant loner who followed the gray area of morality. Now, Lena is a part of this loving family and her own person. A few of her episodes are my favorites, such as “Friendship Hates Magic!” and “A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill.” They are well-written episodes and hit me in the feels.

Like Louie and Drake, I see myself in Lena. There are times I’ve been afraid I’ll take on my family’s bad habits or turn like them. That’s why I love “A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!” Watching Lena try to be good enough and feeling insecure reminded me of the dark times I usually think about. There are even times I have dreams of these issues. The creators must have been inspired by me (lol). Though, I am kind of jealous of Lena because of how great her friends are. I want friends like Webby and Violet.

Even so, I do have some issues with Lena. Her magic arc was not written as well as her previous arcs. This might be more of a personal opinion than anything, but I’m still going to say it. Lena learned to control her magic too quickly, and it was treated as more like a plot device. And a shaking one at that. For example, in “The Split Sword of Swanstantine” Lena was able to stop time and send her and Huey into his mindscape. But, somehow, she couldn’t conjure a burst of energy to attack Steelbeak; granted, Huey mentioned that, yet Lena’s reasoning was dumb. Attacking someone with magic is way easier than doing what she did. I’m a little lenient on this since that idea lead to more Huey development, though I’m still going to critique it.

A great thing about Lena learning was her temporary outfit change. She looks absolutely amazing in light colors, which I didn’t expect, and her hair design is what I saw she would look good in. The eye shape is kind of weird.

Lena’s magic mode is in my list of cosplays.

NO. 1 Dewey Duck

Finally, number one is Dewey Duck!

Dewey has stolen my heart since the beginning. His positivity and fun nature always make me smile, even during the toughest times.

In my opinion, Dewey has the best arc/development of the triplets. His arc trying to find out what happened to his mother was what kept me watching Ducktales and helped me see why this show is so special. Many of my favorite moments are in season one, specifically ones involving Dewey. For instance, the scene in “The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!” where Dewey was willing to risk his life to get the last piece of paper and possibly solve what happened to Della was emotional. Hearing the desperation in his voice while pleading with Scrooge to tell him what happened hit me hard. I can’t imagine how much pain HDL have gone through not knowing what happened and thinking they aren’t allowed to ask. It would be terrible to experience.

Another moment I loved was in “The Spear of Selene.” It was when Dewey was hesitant to know what happened as the possibility that Della was a bad person grew more prominent. He looked so defeated admitting that realization and it reminded me of myself. There were moments when I realized that my parents were not as good as I thought. It hurt me a lot. At least sweet Dewey didn’t have to go through that. The scene when Dewey started tearing up seeing his mom in the sphere was also heartwarming. I wanted to give him the biggest hug.

Dewey’s insecurities of not being good enough and to be loved is what I struggle with too. Its kind of different because I have trouble believing anyone loves me while he wants everybody to like him. Confidence is not my forte.

……………………………………………………………

#top 10 #top 10 characters #huey duck #scrooge mcduck #donald duck #webby vanderquack #louie duck #fenton crackshell cabrera #gizmoduck #launchpad mcquack #drake mallard #darkwing duck #darkwing duck reboot #lena sabrewing #dewey duck #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt 17 #ducktales series finale #ducktales season 1 #ducktales season 2 #ducktales season 3

[ultraclops]

Day 3: Be True To Yourself

Aka me literally just infodumping about my Ocs because I love them ♡

Brought to you by Colorvision! Yep, I decided to get off my lazy butt and color traditionally today :)

First off, Tiara Depurrnaire (She/Her)! A Sweetypie cat who's partially related to the Snugglemagne family and, in my timeskip AU, Adorabat's future girlfriend. Like Adorabat, she lost her leg to a monster while wandering the King's dungeons. She aspires to be just as brave as Adorabat but lacks the gall, being content to watch and learn from the sidelines. As they both get older Tiara realizes that she is a lesbian, and develops a mutual crush on Adorabat that turns into a relationship. As she ages, Tiara' aspirations to become a hero fade, and she settles for becoming a ballet teacher. She learns to be brave in her own way and unconditionally supports her monster-slaying adventuring partner, no matter how their paths diverge.

T H E Y (Also I need to post my full adult Adorabat design sometime)

Next up is Sherbet (They/Them), a Sweetypie rabbit who makes ice cream for a living! I don't really have a backstory for them but I believe they realized they were nonbinary in their younger years (around early middle school age) and have fully embraced their identity! They don't let anything get them down and are eager to cheer up the citizens of Pure Heart Valley, one ice cream cone at a time. They're also good acquaintances with Badgerclops and Adorabat, for obvious reasons. Their eyes function similarly to Badgerclops', as they only open when they feel strong emotions.

Next (and honestly one of my favorites) is Moa Nola (Xe/Xem), an agender Oriental Shorthair cat who, surprisingly, isn't related to the Mao clan. Xe originally started off as a joke character based on the misspelling of Mao Mao's name in "I'm Mao Mao", but I eventually grew attached to xem and gave xem a full-fledged backstory. Xe comes from a family of fishermen, but after xyr father was killed in a monster attack, xe decided that xe wanted to become a legendary monster hunter. Xe created xyr cloak after xyr first successful monster fight. After being mistaken for the son of Shin Mao too many times, xe used it to xyr advantage and began going under Mao Mao's title for a while. However, after being stopped by Mao Mao himself, xe dropped the act and began looking for a new sense of purpose. Ironically, xe starts collecting antique ventriloquist dummies similar to Mr. Din Danalin.

Following up on the "based on a misspelling" theme is Rhapsody (She/They), a femme-aligned nonbinary Sweetypie vampire bat inspired by Adorabat's name being mistranslated as "doorbat" in YouTube autocaptions. She is Adorabat maternal cousin, as their mother is Sonara's sister. Rhapsody was heavily impacted by Sonara's death, but rather than becoming tough like Adorabat or overprotective like Eugene, she became more reserved out of fear that they could be next. In other words, she became a doorbat (haha funny). With the arrival of Mao Mao and Badgerclops, plus the defeat of the monster that killed their aunt, Rhapsody begins to come out of her shell and indulges in their biggest passion - music. Like Adorabat she learns to use their voice as a weapon, but hers is more of a siren's song than a sonic screech. In my timeskip AU, they leave Pure Heart Valley to become a popstar, writing songs inspired by her childhood memories and their home. It's obscured by the flag but the marking on her chest is a bleeding heart, emphasizing her passionate drive.

(Rhapsody's kid and adult forms [kinda old])

+ OCs of mine I didn't feel like making alternate drawings for:

Buzz-Buzz (Zhe/Ze/Zhey), a demigender Sweetypie bumblebee bat who protects the bees of Pure Heart Valley! Despite zer small stature, zhe is actually an adult, just naturally small. Zhe also grows herbs on the side and volunteers at the Pure Heart Valley hospital. Primarily because zhe has a crush on the head doctor there... (I did not make zer to selfship with Cuddlestein. Nope. Not at all.)

My Badgermao "fankid", Sai (They/He/It)! I say "fankid" in air quotes because they're from an AU where Badgerclops' spare arm became corrupt and gained a conscience. Their robot arm is actually their body - the rest of their body is a projection of light, similar to the gems from Steven Universe! They have masculine programming (as their AI was made using Badgerclops's DNA a la Cortana from Halo), but identify as agender and use they/he/it pronouns. Originally they began as a blank slate with no personality aside from the programmed personality Badgerclops gave them, but they eventually grow their own personality and moral compass as they analyze the Sheriff's Department's work. Just like Badgerclops, they have a passion for building robots and weapons, and can even modify themselves to fit the situation! Most of their creations are usually for fun, though.

Anf the last one I have a reference for but not the least, Karma Vesper (She/They)! This one is actually my self-insert, lol. She is a biro-ace demigirl Javanese Cream-Point Cat! Her necklace was a gift from her family, and her hood was a gift from her mentor. After her village was ambushed by criminals, she became a wandering hero, and accidentally stumbled upon Pure Heart Valley while following a report of increased monster activity. At some point during her adventures alone she realized that she was biro-ace, since she felt no sexual attraction but still felt romantic attraction. Around the time she came to Pure Heart Valley she realized that she never really felt, like, 100% a GIRL girl (if that makes sense) and began identifying as a demigirl. (Yes this is my hidden self-actualization story :>) She enjoys researching gemstones and ancient artifacts, and the Ruby Pure Heart immediately caught her attention once she laid eyes on it. While she is still a wandering hero, she has a temporary residence in Pure Heart Valley, where she stays to research the Heart's powers as well as assist the townspeople. Her and the Sheriff's Department didn't start out on the best terms since Mao was worried she was trying to replace them, but they tolerate each other now.

+ the OCs I don't have references for:

I did have a reference for these guys but idk where it is rn ;-;. Anywway, my most recent OCs and also some of my favorite OCs are Bernard and Pierre, a black bear and polar bear respectively (both use He/Him)! They are both gay and in a healthy relationship & live in a cabin in the forest together. They are just. Two old gay granddads and I love them. Anyway! They both met after an accident which caused Bernard to blow out his left knee and Pierre to lose his left hand; they had been best friends since, and boyfriends later on! Bernard is a baker while Pierre is a wood carver, although they indulge in each other's interests as well. For the most part they just stay in their cabin in the forest, but they leave to buy groceries and sell their products.

And the final OC I'm gonna talk about is Storm Mao (They/Them)! They're from an AU where Mao was born in a litter of five, like his sisters. Ever since Storm were young, they felt like weren't "normal" compared to their siblings. They didn't feel like a girl or a boy. After Mao came out as a trans boy, they began questioning themselves further. Eventually they decided to ask Contacts Sister for help, as she was among the smartest of the Mao children. Contacts explained to Storm that there are people who don't identify as a boy or a girl, and Storm realized they weren't alone. Since then, they started identifying as nonbinary and began using they/them pronouns, and their family supported their decision. Aside from them and Mao, their litter siblings are also LGBTQ+ - Mamoru (He/Him) is AroAce, Bernadette (She/Her) is bi and Zhijun (He/Him) is gay. I'd talk about the AU more in a separate post, if anyone wants me too^ ^;;

If I remember any other LGBTQ+ OCs I have, I'll reblog with them ✌

#maomaosprideweek2021 #maomaoprideweek2021 #mmprideweek2021 #mao mao ocs #mmhoph ocs #my sketches #excuse my infodump session #i just saw 'ocs are acceptable' and went ''WHOOPS TIME TO RAMBLE ABOUT MY OCS NOW I GUESS'' #//long post #// long post #oc x canon implied #implied badgermao #mmhoph #oc: tiara depurrnaire #oc: sherbet #oc: moa nola #oc: rhapsody #oc: buzz-buzz #oc: SAI #oc: karma vesper #ocs: bernard and pierre #oc: storm mao #oc: mamoru mao #oc: bernadette mao #oc: zhijun mao

[justjessame]

Avery Emerson Clay: What If the Fish Picks A Different Hook?

Anti-climatic. That’s what sharing an elevator with Max was because it wasn’t as if our staff could do anything to hold him or show our hand. Max wasn’t actually wanted for anything. He was something of an enigma. The entire fucking point was to get Max to grab my ass, and instead he just rode the elevator and acted polite.

I told my three earbuddies, and they pulled the video, confirmed that Max was my elevator buddy, and then we - well we went back to the same shit different day. Literally. Wash, rinse, repeat.

If it worked once, then clearly we should be able to net his ass again, right?

I had doubts, but who was I in this mess? Bait, remember, that’s who I was in this mess. The worm on the hook.

My first tingling, niggling feeling of something being terribly wrong came Wednesday morning. Rose had a schedule she kept almost religiously. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time she missed one of her scheduled days, she’d never taken a sick day. I was having my breakfast, with my shorts and another one of the many ridiculous shirts in place on the off chance that Max decided to pop up on my extra jogging trips, when I glanced at the clock.

“Dad,” he was flipping through the paper, his breakfast almost crumbs forgotten on his plate and his cup had been refreshed by Jake as he grabbed another cup for himself, so I got a grunt to let me know he heard me. “It’s almost ten.” Another grunt, but I saw his eyes shift to the top of the paper and then they met mine. “Did you run Rose through the same op shit that you ran me through?” I felt sick, Rose, OUR Rose at the mercy of Max - who looked like a pansy but this asshole had killed children without a hint of indecision. She’d been given self-defense classes, everyone tangentially involved with our family was, but Rose was ROSE.

Clay came into the kitchen to grab another cup of coffee and he picked up on the tension immediately. “What?” My eyes wandered back to the clock and so did his, and somehow he knew. “Where’s Rose?”

On the upside, I didn’t have to go jogging. On the downside, Rose was missing.

Mom and I had called her cell phone with the result that we both managed to get her voicemail, which did nothing to soothe either of our nerves. Clay and Dad, while clearly the more tactical and hardass of the family, were doing a better job of hiding their worry under a heavy layer of stoicism, but as Clays we knew a layer of shit when we saw it. They were as worried as we were, and while Jake worked to track Rose’s cell phone, Clay had another computer working with one of his programs hacking into the traffic cameras between her house and ours.

Nothing. That’s what we were finding as the minutes ticked down into hours. And I was getting more and more anxious. As my anxiety ratcheted, so did my energy level and Mom sensed it as easily as Clay had the tension when he walked into the kitchen.

“Avery, let’s go to the gym.” I shot her a look that I hope she understood meant I was less than receptive to the idea of leaving while they were in the middle of searching for Rose, but she shook her head and her lips were thin enough to cut paper. “Now.”

I was practically vibrating as we walked out of the library, where Clay and Dad had set up the search. I hadn’t noticed that Aisha, Cougar, and Pooch weren’t around, but Mom offered that they were actually on foot and in Cougar’s case, I thought, in perches, taking a look around to try to pick up Rose’s tracks. She was telling me, as she led me to the gym, that everyone was doing their best to find her. Rose was a priority, but I needed to calm the fuck down.

In the gym, she sighed as Rose’s choice hit our ears. Instead of changing it, I stiffened my spine and wrapped my hands. “You can change it,” but I shook my head.

Crappy, emo chick shit would have to do because Rose had been the last person in the gym. Kicking off my shoes, I stepped onto the mat where a new dummy had been put in the place of the one I’d destroyed. Staring into the unseeing face, I visualized the dark hair, the smug face and the linen suit and then I went to work.

Mom only stopped me when she thought I needed hydration, or when she thought my hand wraps might need changed. Aside from that, she let me beat the stuffing, literally, out of dummy number two. Since Jake was busy and she knew that I would rather he stay that way while Rose was missing, she kept me company.

“Here,” she stepped up and handed me another bottle of water, smiling because I was pacing myself much better than the last time I handed the dummy its ass. “Are you feeling less -” she considered how to follow up, but shook her head. “Well?”

I was out of breath, a well earned sweat coating me and saturating what would have been my jogging clothes, and I didn’t feel as on edge as I had when we left the others to come into the gym. The music that was playing was starting to annoy me, which was a good sign too. I nodded and stepped off the mat, happy to see that the dummy was still standing, even if it was a little worse for the wear.

Taking a long pull from the bottle she handed me, I gratefully took the towel she offered next. “Thanks, Mom.” We walked to the bench where I’d kicked off my shoes before hitting the mat. Sitting down, I stared at the tiny flecks of dummy dust that were dancing in the artificial light of the gym while Rose’s craptastic music continued to assault our ears. “It should be me.” I felt it gnawing at my insides, the fear that Max - a man who looked like he wouldn’t tie his own fucking shoelaces could be hurting ROSE of all people. “I was pissed at everyone for even thinking of making me do it, but it SHOULD BE ME.”

“Hey,” I turned to look into what I knew everyone would say was a mirror of my future. My mom, the older ME. “Don’t do that, Avery. Don’t blame yourself for something that a monster does.” I stared at her, wondering how she managed to get over what happened to her during her fateful Spring Break. “No one decides what bad men do, but bad men. Even if your father and brother think they’re incredibly smart and better at the game.” She fidgeted with her bracelets and I glanced down, seeing the faint lines that were still visible after so many years. When I looked back up a smirk had found a home on her lips. “People think I wear them because they’re sentimental, because your father gave them to me when he rescued me.” He did, I knew the story like I knew all the others. “He gave them to me so I could hide the open wounds that the wire they bound me in cut into me. Even with the bandages, I felt self conscious.”

I bit my lip, wondering if Rose was going to need her own bracelets. “What if we don’t -”

“Don’t do that either, Avery Emerson.” My eyes were burning and I was fighting the tears. “Don’t give up before we even get started.” She sounded as firm as she had when she cut Dad off during his attitude with Jake over dinner. “We’ll find Rose. We will, and I almost feel sorry for this Max.” I stared at her in disbelief. “What? I can have compassion for a monster who has fucked up so massively as to have brought down the wrath of the Clay family by attacking one of our own.”

I sat up straighter, she was right. Max didn’t know who the fuck he was messing with, and taking Rose was a bridge too far.

“There’s my girl,” Mom smiled. “Now, go get a shower and redress. We’ll make lunch and see where we are in the search.” She helped me off the bench and clucked me under my chin. “Remember Avery, Clays aren’t quitters.”

I nodded. Grabbing my shoes, I kissed her cheek on my way out. I grinned when I noticed that she was kicking her own shoes off as I was leaving.

#Franklin Clay #jake jensen x ofc #The Losers (2010) #alternate universe #Mild smut #humor #fluff #Family Fluff #FLUFF AND SMUT

[tasteofshapes]

Who do you think proposed to who? Ichiruki.

Ichigo proposes.

It isn’t because he’s old fashioned; it’s because he wants to make his intentions perfectly clear to Rukia. He’s not the sort of person that would leave her waiting for years: he has known ever since that night when she saved his life that he was never going to get her out of his system; but he also knows she thinks he’s too young, that she thinks this is a phase he’ll grow out of. She doesn’t want him to tie himself to her when he still has his whole life ahead of him, when he still has places to go, choices to make.

She doesn’t realise that their fates have been tied together since the night they met. He does.

Ichigo understands a lot more than she gives him credit for, but he doesn’t argue with her, because if there’s one thing he’s learnt by now, it’s that Rukia is stubborn to a fault, and especially so if she thinks she can save him from getting hurt.

So he waits for her to get used to the idea of this. He’s a patient guy, he’s waited for seventeen months before, and in the meantime, he shows her that he’s not going anywhere. He goes with her on all the dangerous missions, fighting by her side. They make weekly trips to Soul Society to visit her brother and his cousins, because family is important to the both of them, and slowly, he integrates himself so wholly into the fabric of her life that it’s impossible to unwind.

When he does propose, it’s without fanfare. It’s just them, under the stars, walking back to his family home to have dinner with his father and his sisters. The streets are quiet and empty, and the only illumination are the street lamps, casting little pools of light in the inky darkness. He stops at the place where she first gave him her powers, a stone’s throw away from the front door to the Kurosaki family home.

“Rukia,” he says, and even though it feels like he’s shaking with nerves, his voice comes out steady. “I need to tell you something.” He turns to her, holds her left hand while his other hand fumbles around in his pockets.

“Okay,” she says, uncertain, exhaling out little warm puffs of air. It’s the end of November, a couple of weeks to Christmas, and the nights are chilly with the promise of snow, and winter.

“I love you,” he says quietly, his heart pounding, and she laughs.

“I know that, dummy,” she says, but there’s no bite in her words. She’s smiling up at him, radiant even in the darkness, and his heart jumps into his throat. He had a whole speech prepared, but now the words have fled and his mind is blank.

He takes a deep breath, decides to wing it. “So, remember a couple of weeks back, when I asked Byakuya to have tea with me alone, and you made us promise not to fight or try to kill each other?”

She nods.

“Well, I asked Byakuya what he thought about us getting married, and he wasn’t pleased, but he said he wouldn’t interfere, and that he would talk to the elders as long as you were happy.” He pulls a spool of red thread out from his pocket, and discovers that his hands are shaking. She goes quiet, eyes wide, and her gaze darts from his face down to where he’s clumsily tying a loop of the red thread around the little finger of her left hand, finishing it off with a lopsided bow.

“So, what do you think about us being properly bound together for the rest of our existence, in this world, and the next?” Ichigo says, and holds out the spool of thread to her. She sucks in a breath, her mouth open in a perfect ‘o’, and his heart clenches in his chest. Say yes, say yes, say yes...

“You idiot,” she says finally, softly, but she takes the thread offered, and he releases a breath that he hadn’t known he had been holding in. He sticks the pinky on his right hand out, and she smiles slightly, ducking her head. Her hands are trembling as she ties a loop of the red thread around his pinky, and snaps the end. And then it’s done, and there’s a literal red string of fate tying them together, and the tight knot of anxiety in his chest loosens, and he’s laughing with sheer joy.

“Oh, Rukia,” he says, sweeping her into his arms, and it’s like he’s fifteen all over again and vowing to never let her go, “you’re stuck with me now. There’s no getting rid of me after this.”

“Dummy,” she laughs and hits his chest lightly, and then stops laughing when he kisses her, his arms wrapping around her back. She’s smiling when they part, bright and beautiful and his. He holds her for a long moment, just the two of them smiling goofily at each other, until finally she says, “we’re going to be late for dinner.”

“Yeah,” he says, pushing a stray lock of hair gently behind her ear, but he doesn’t move, just grins stupidly down at her, his heart beating fast, mine, mine, mine.

“Ichigo,” she says, after a moment, laughing, “come on.”

“Yeah, okay.” He lets her tug him forward, still smiling, their fingers intertwined, the thread linking them together. In this life, and the next.

-

Fic Masterpost  |  My askbox is open! Send me a prompt or a sentence, and I’ll give you my headcanon on it.

#ichiruki #ichigo x rukia #bleach #fanfiction #writing #bleach fic #romance #tasteofshapes fic #ask me #ask game #otp: she stopped his rain

[toothpastecanyon]

Noie’s Brother, Chapter 15

A giant thank you to @feferipeixes and @gawain-in-green for helping me out with this chapter! They’re both awesome and you should check out all their amazing works!!

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Alcor felt like this one was a little on the nose. A newborn Mizar fading away in the hospital and a loving father pleading to him from behind a circle of candles.

Fate sometimes rhymed, but Naomi Argenta just wants this stupid vampire to stop harassing her brother. It’s making him go… weird.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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               “Kid? Kid?”

               Plodding down the street. Sun beating down on her shoulders. Noie was vaguely aware of the burn in her muscles, the utter exhaustion in her joints.

               Only vaguely, though.

               Her mind was…

Alcor. Alcor the Dreambender. Standing there. Staring at her.

               …elsewhere. Lucy Ann could clear her throat all she wanted, but the sound was lost in choking gasps of her brother’s last breaths.

Before he died, before he DIED she saw it stars she saw it she saw it SHE SAW IT-

               A touch made her scream. Lucy Ann cringed and retracted her arm.

               “Sorry,” she said - Noie felt a pit in her stomach at that. “Uh, kid?”

               Noie opened her mouth, and then nodded.

               “I was just gonna ask, how’re you holding up?” The vampire looked her up and down. “You look, uh…”

               “I’m fine.”

               Those words came out of her mouth, but Noie could barely recognise her own voice. It was fast, flat, devoid of emotion, and she kept walking.

               “You sure?”

               “I’m fine.” She repeated, then: “You don’t, you don’t have to- don’t worry about me. You’ve done a lot, um, today.”

               “Heh, is this your way of saying thank you?” Lucy Ann’s awkward grin died as the silence stretched. “...Alrighty, then.”

               A pause. They kept walking.

               “Um. Wow, even when it’s cloudy it’s hot out here, huh?”

               Noie nodded. “It’s kind of hot here a lot. In Arizona.”

               “You don’t say.” She shuddered. “Ugh, I can’t wait to get out of this place. No offense, but you guys have the worst weather for vampires.”

               "Sorry.”

               “Sorry… for the weather?”

               Noie made a face. “Yeah,” she said, and looked away. “For the weather.”

               It was silent for the rest of the walk home. Silent as the gargle from Dipper’s slashed-open throat.

The knife’s hilt pressing into her palm. The little tug in his skin before it gave way. The blood on her hands, the look on his face-

And the look on its face as it slammed her to the ground. Its lip curled, it’s teeth bared. Its claws, tearing into her while it said she was mine, mine, MINE…

Her brother? How was that her brother?

               Noie gulped, and found herself fingering the USB in her pocket. The edges were hard, and she pressed it into her palm until it hurt. Until it cut through her thoughts and let her breathe again, just for a moment.

               She just wanted to breathe.

               She didn’t want to think, she just wanted to breathe.

               “Hey, Noie.”

               Noie thought she heard her name being called. “Yes?”

               “We’re at your place.”

               She blinked, and yes, they were. The same old, stuffy house she’d been walking back to for years. Everything was the same, the same as it had always been, the same dark wooden door, the same red car parked the same concrete driveway baking in the same hot sun… but something was different.

               Something was so awfully different, and she didn’t want to think about why that was.

               “Hey, that’s your folks’es car, isn’t it?” Lucy Ann made a face. “They might be a little surprised to see you coming back so soon on a school day-”

               “I’ll sneak in. I’ve done it before.”

               She arched an eyebrow. “You have, huh. Oh, of course you have.”

               “Of course I have. Don’t worry about me. Don’t…” Noie’s eyes strayed up to a spot just below the vampire’s eyes. “Um, what about you?”

               “What about me?”

               “Where are you, um, gonna-”

               “Gonna go? What, you’re still not gonna invite me inside?” Lucy Ann gave a guilty grin at the way she flinched. “No, sorry, that was petty, um… no, I’ll be fine, I’ll probably get something to eat and then skedaddle back to Portland.”

               “Get… something to eat?”

               “Yeah. You know of any icecream places round here that have blood flavour? That’s my favourite.”

               “Uh, no, I-”

               “Oh, that’s a shame. Guess I’ll go devour a whole human person then.” She crossed her arms. “Or, you know, literally just go to the supermarket and get a blood pack. I’m sure you know that’s way more convenient.”

               Noie cringed. “Sorry.”

               “Sorry for what?”

               “Um… I… Sorry.” She pressed the USB into her palm until she could feel her bones. “Sorry.”

               Lucy Ann stood there for a moment, waiting. When Noie didn’t say anything more, she sighed.

               “Y’know, it’s Dipper who gets hung up on reincarnations like a dummy, but… I dunno. I’m a little surprised.” Lucy Ann gave her a sad kind of smile. “You’re different from how I remember.”

               Noie’s throat tightened. She couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, and the vampire sighed.

               “I know you are.” She made a move like she wanted to pat Noie’s shoulder, but stopped herself. “Look, kid, you’re…I don’t know your life. I don’t know why you decided to buddy up with a pro-nat angel who I literally told you wanted to kill me from day one- but nevermind.” She looked Noie in the eyes. “Look, you’re a young human. Just, go home, sleep, talk to your brother who is definitely a demon… and it’ll be okay, okay? I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s not all terrible. It’ll work out.”

               “Sorry.”

               Lucy Ann sighed. “Okay. Goodbye, kid, and say bye to your grandma from me, too. Best of luck to you.”

               Then she walked past Noie, her tattered red shawl trailing behind her. Noie opened her mouth, and:

               “Wait!”

               The vampire turned around.

               “You’re leaving the state?” Noie grimaced. “That’s a l-long way, don’t you need help?”

               “What, have you got a driver’s license?”

               Noie didn’t say anything. Lucy Ann shrugged.

               “I’ll take a bus, thanks.” She turned away. “Bye, Noie.”

               Then Noie watched, wordlessly, as she walked away, and left her standing alone in front of the house.

               Alone.

Alone.

               She didn’t want to think about it.

               So she walked. Walked to the back of the house, where Lucy Ann told her all that time ago that Dipper was-

               She nudged a doggy door with her foot, and then crawled through it. She was almost too big to fit; it’d been a long time since she’d had to use this shortcut.

Not since her grandparents started staying home all the time, and even then Dipper was skinnier, Dipper was-

               She tiptoed into the kitchen, though she really didn’t have to. The TV was blaring from the backroom, trying to drown out someone else’s unwanted thoughts, painful memories.

Unwanted thoughts she gave him, painful memories she brought up just to get him off her case, just to pretend that Dipper wasn’t-

               She nudged the bedroom door open, and sealed it shut behind her. Put her forehead to the wood.

That Dipper wasn’t-

Wasn’t a demon.

That Dipper wasn’t a demon a demon A DEMON

               Noie felt it coming up like bile in her throat. She tried to choke it back, but THERE WAS HIS HAT THERE WAS HIS BACKPACK THERE WAS HIS BLOOD ON HIS BED WHERE YOU TOLD HIM HE COULD TRUST YOU

               She crumpled. Physically crumpled onto the floor; she made a grab for the desk but only succeeded in spilling papers with Dipper’s handwriting and the hat that Dipper always always wore and it landed in a puddle of golden blood and glistened at her like the disappointment in Lucy Ann’s eyes. She jumped back from it, then with shaking hands she took it and she held it close and she tried to wipe the gold off but it wasn’t coming off it was never going to come off and he was never going to come back because SHE KILLED HIM

               “No…” Noie hugged the hat to his chest, choking out, “No, no, no, n-no, I-I’m-sor-ry, I-I-m-so-sor-ry-I-di-dn’t-mean-to, I-I-di-idn’t-want-to-hurt-you I tried, I tried so hard, I tried so hard I didn’t mean to…”

               She gulped down a breath, and heard the TV’s chatter as it filled the silence. She unclasped her arms a little, and looked down at his hat. Her chin crumpled at the sight; whatever composure she’d won back dissolved in an instant.

               “Dipper, p-please come back…” Through blurry eyes she looked up at his empty bed looming far above her. “Please come back, please. I-I need you… I need someone.” She squeezed her eyes shut to drown out the TV’s blaring chatter. “I need anyone, please…”

               Alone in a bedroom for two, Noie buried her face into Dipper’s hat and sobbed until she didn’t have to think anymore.

________________________________________________________________

               Noie didn’t know when she fell asleep, but somehow, she woke up smiling in her bed. She’d had a good dream.

               But as she woke up, felt the itch of her regular clothes, saw the dark night looming behind her blinds, that cold rush of dread swept in and extinguished every hint of a smile. She sat there, staring up at the ceiling, marinating in the memories of that morning.

The blood that sprayed from his neck, sprayed onto her, the warmth of it soaking into her as she stepped back-

And the shadows rising up, the demon tearing into her calling her mine mine MINE-

               Noie didn’t realise she was holding the USB until she could feel it stabbing into her palm. With a sniffle, she took it out of her pocket, and looked at it like she was seeing it for the first time.

               There was a logo, but apart from that it was grey, featureless. Strangely new, like it had just come off the shelf and not from…

               Noie sat up, pocketing it. She stared down at their computer sitting on the desk. Slowly, she made her way to the ladder, and climbed down the bunk bed until her feet hit the floor.

               The floor. It was clean; there was no more blood. The sheets were white and unblemished, clear of claw marks. There were no more reminders of this morning. No more reminders of her brother.

               If not for the USB, he may as well have been nothing but a strange dream.

               Noie gulped as she shook the mouse. It booted up from sleep, and she tapped in the password as she stuck the USB in a slot; as always, she fumbled to find the right side to put it in.

               As the computer started, she heard footsteps down the hallway. She froze, but it continued past her door and into the kitchen. She opened her files, and found the USB drive.

               After a moment of hesitation, she double clicked.

               A video and a folder appeared. Noie blinked at the titles; the folder was named simply ‘Memories’, but the video had a much more cryptic label: ‘For_Naomi.mov’

               What? She frowned, and clicked on the folder first. There were more video files, a dozen of them. She scrambled for her earphones, plugged them in, and clicked one.

               It opened to some footage of a very young child pushing around a baby walker. A gentle laugh came too loudly from behind the camera; Noie jumped and turned down the volume.

               “Heh, what are you doing?” The voice asked as the baby pushed their walker against a wall. Noie didn’t recognise him, or this house. “You need some help?”

               Noie watched a hand come down and carefully turn the walker. As soon as the baby was free, they drove it straight across a living room and into the couch; the voice laughed a bit harder.

               “You really like speeding around, don’t you?” The camera pointed down to the carpet. “I won’t be able to catch up once you figure out how to turn. Here…”

               Then the video cut off. Noie sat there for a moment, utterly confused. Uh, what was that supposed to be?

               She clicked another one. Same house, same voice, but the baby looked a little older; they were walking on their own, and holding a saucepan lid.

               “Now where did you get that?” The voice asked with amused affection.  The baby threw the lid and seemed to jump when it clattered. “Oh, that was loud, wasn’t it? Did it scare you?”

               The baby came toddling over to the cameraman and pressed their face into his leg. A hand came down to comfort them.

               “Aww, it’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay. You want me to pick you up?”

               They started to make a crying sound.

               “Okay, I’ll pick you up. Just let me…”

               The video stopped there. Noie stared at the last frame, at the baby clinging to this man’s leg.

               They had black hair, like her. She noticed that, then noticed the wedding ring on this man’s hand, then noticed the deep pit forming in her stomach.

               She clicked off the video, hesitated, then backed out of the folder. Her cursor hovered over the first video, ‘For_Naomi.mov’... and she glanced behind her.

               Dipper’s empty bed was the only thing that stared back, but she felt… weirdly watched. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves, and then turned around.

               She clicked the video, and watched it open into darkness. That voice again.

               “Seriously? Are you gonna stay up?” There were knocking sounds as he fiddled with the camera. “Just… ah, that might be it. Okay, there!”

               Then the man stepped back, and his face… Oh, stars.

               “H-hey! Hey, Naomi.” His laugh. His laugh. “Well, you’re just a camera here but hey, Naomi! Yes, hi! Hi, nice to see you t-”

               Noie shut off the video. Leon’s face still stared at her; she jabbed at the X until it disappeared then backed off fast from the computer. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

Leon. That was Leon.

That was what he sounded like.

               She stood there frozen for a second longer, then opened her door and almost ran into the kitchen just to get away from it, from him, from all of this-

               And came across someone she was not ready to talk to right now. Her grandfather looked up from stirring a cup of tea, his bushy eyebrows raised in surprise… and a bright shine to his stare like worry.

               “Naomi?” He started. She cringed. “Oh, uh, hey! Just making tea for Allie, here…”

               “Oh, yeah?”

               “Yeah. Just making tea for Allie…”

               He stared into the cup, and Noie made a face. She tried to back away, but-

               “So how’s Dipper?”

               Her blood ran cold. “D-Dipper?”

               “How’s his head?” He didn’t quite glance up at her. “Haven’t seen him all day, I-”

               “Fine! He’s fine, he’s- he’s fine!”

               “Okay… Uh, how was school today?”

               Noie swallowed hard. They still thought she went to school today. Wow.

               “Noie, is everything-”

               “Everything’s good! Everything’s great, thanks.”

               “Oh.” He hunched up his shoulders. “Oh, okay then. Guess I should, uh, butt out, then.”

               Noie cringed. ”No, Grandpa. I’m sorry, I didn’t…you’re not…”

               “No, no, I get it. You think you’re getting older, you’re at that age where, you know, you say stuff I shouldn’t take to heart.” He tried for a chuckle. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

               It faded into silence, and his throat tensed at that. He looked away.

               “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

               Noie stood there, once again out of words to say as her grandfather stirred the tea. She wanted to run away, wanted to melt into the floor, but the loose end of the conversation held her awkwardly in place until he started speaking again.

               “Didja know,” he started. “Uh, I mean, it’s not the same thing, but when Leon was around your age - or a little younger, ‘round twelve or so - he got in trouble for sneaking food back to his room.” He shot a glance back at her. “Which, uh, wasn’t allowed back then. Allie’s- it’s a bit more lax with you kids, but… well, it doesn’t matter.”

               She listened to the spoon scrape as it scooped out the tea bag. She listened to the wet noise it made as it plopped into the sink.

               “Anyway, uh, Leon was talking back to her like you like to do. I’d never seen anything like it before - telling her to go away, to leave him alone, he doesn’t wanna say why… like, what’s going on, kid? What’s got you all wound up?”

               Noie watched David smile into the tea. He shook his head, and snorted.

               “Turns out a little family of gnomes had moved into the park by our house, and they were going through the garbage cans each night. Leon could see ‘em from outside his window, and he was bringing them fresh stuff each night. Thought we’d be mad if we found out - we weren’t mad. It was the sweetest sh-stuff I’ve ever seen.”

               There was a distant rumble of thunder. David looked up at that.

               “Oh, think we’re gonna get a good storm tonight.” He picked up the tea. “Anyway, we ended up inviting them in for dinner some nights, it was nice. The Bompossooms, they were good fun… shame when they moved on, but I think Leon kept in touch with ‘em.” His smile faltered. “For, uh, quite a while, before…”

               Noie grimaced. “Before… yeah. You don’t have to-”

               “It’s fine. It’s fine, it’s-” He gripped the mug. “I like that story. It’s good, it’s…”

               His fingers tapped hard against the ceramic. Tap, tap, tap.

               “You know, makes me think… you know, what you said this morning, makes me think about… about how…”

               Tap. Tap. Tap.

               “With you… you kids, he would’ve made a… made a g…” David turned away abruptly. “Argh,” He sniffed. “I got a cold, I think. Yeah, I got a fucking… stupid…”

               Noie watched him start off down the hallway, rubbing his reddened face and muttering things under his breath. He didn’t say goodbye, but the conversation was very much finished.

               In the silence it left, she heard another rumble of thunder. She glanced at the blinds over the back door, at the darkness that peeked through, and swallowed.

               She stood there until she heard another growl like the sound Alcor made when he had his claws in her chest, and she backed away into her room again.

               Into her room, which still had the growls of the growing storm.

               Into her room, that still had a neatly laid, empty bed on the bottom bunk.

               Into her room, where the USB was still stuck into her computer, about to be played.

               Noie could hear the wind whistling against her window. She could hear the palm trees rustling outside. A storm was coming, and she was going to end up watching that video.

               She was. She just was, so she might as well do it now, right?

               A gulp.

               Find out why Di- why Al- why it was left for her, right? She had to. She had nothing else to do.

               She took a deep breath, and took a seat behind the computer. She gave it a little shake to wake up the monitor, and came face to face with that file again.

               For_Naomi.mov.

               She put on one headphone, then the other. Then she clicked it, and braced herself for that voice again.

               That voice. His voice.

               “Seriously? Are you gonna stay up?”

               She saw the darkness differently now. It was a little fuzzier, a little bluer, and she could pick out the creases of a shirt.

               “Just… ah, that might be it. Okay, there!”

               The shirt shifted as Leon stepped back, and his face still sent a jolt through her. It was smiling, but she could see it looked different to the photos of him; the bags under his eyes, the lines in his face, the sunkenness to his cheeks… wow, he looked older.

               And he had a baby in his arms. Noie’s heart skipped a beat as Leon sat down on a bed, cradling it (her?) to his chest.

               “H-hey!” He said, and gave an awkward half-wave. “Hey, Naomi.”

               Then he laughed, a warm chuckle that made Noie’s blood run cold.

               “Well, you’re just a camera here but hey, Naomi!” The baby made a noise, and he smiled down at her. “Yes, hi! Hi, nice to see you too! I’m talking to you, did you know that? For when you’re all grown up!”

               She watched his smile go crooked. He looked up again.

               “I hope you never have to watch this, but, uh, in case you do, hey. Sorry if this is, heh, a bit all over the place.” He rubbed his face. “Twins have… been a lot the last few months, you and- and the other one, that’s been…”

               In the ensuing pause, Noie let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. Twins. He said twins.

Thank the stars.

               “Well, that’s been complicated, a-and that’s what I wanted to explain! By doing this.” Almost absentmindedly, he started to rock the baby. “There’s, uh, stuff I did, that-that you have a right to know, but I didn’t - I haven’t, I can’t’ve - told people, so if for some reason, um, I’m not around to tell you this-”

               Leon seemed to cut himself off before his words got too fast, and took a deep breath. With a shaking hand, he wiped some hair out of his face.

               “Um,” he started again, and swallowed. “Well, this is, this is in case it all goes wrong, okay? I think I’ve gotten myself in a bit over my head.” A nervous laugh. “I’m certainly planning to be there ten, twenty years down the road when you wanna ask me what the heck I was thinking, but I don’t even know what tomorrow looks like, so this is… this is insurance, okay?”

               The baby made a noise, and he started rocking her again. He grimaced up at the camera.

               “And I better make it fast, it’s your naptime soon.” He nodded to himself. “Okay, okay, so, I guess I should start with the elephant in the room. Your brother… you don’t have a brother.”

               You don’t have a brother. Noie jumped back like she’d been struck; her mouth opened to retort, but Leon was already continuing.

               “You weren’t supposed to have a twin. Alcor altered everyone’s memories so they think it’s normal, but-” He paused. “Alcor… um, Dipper- but I’m getting ahead of myself.”

               Thunder rumbled as Noie stared wide-eyed at the screen. Her hand itched to stop the video, to rip the headphones out and run, but she was frozen in absolute horror. She could only listen.

               Leon’s face was going red. “Um, at the hospital, after Pinni had you, th-there were complications and-” His voice went hoarse; he cleared it and shakily continued. “I-I’m sorry. B-but after Pinni… passed, that caused problems with y-you t-too and now you weren’t going to make it…”

               He wiped under his glasses, then put his arm down and clutched the baby to his chest.

               “I heard that, and I wanted, I needed some way to save you… I went through Pinni’s old demonology notes.” Another hard swallow. “And I found Alcor’s entry. ‘Nice to children’ she wrote, and… heh, well, that was better than all the alternatives. Nice to children; well, I thought, as long as he’s nice to you, right? As long as he’s nice to you.”

               Leon looked away, at a point past the camera. An almost dark chuckle escaped his lips.

               “I don’t make a very good demonologist. I knew it’d be a big deal - hah, a ‘big deal’ - and I was willing to offer anything to make it work. If it had taken my soul…” Another chuckle. “Seriously, I-I didn’t care. It’s kind of crazy, I just thought of you in the NICU and… I didn’t think twice.”

               Noie watched him pause, mouth working like he wasn’t quite sure how to word the next part. She could only stare at him, watch him finally shrug and shake his head.

               “Well, uh… didn’t take my soul! So I’m… about that, I don’t know…” He shook his head again. “No, I-I summoned him, and he didn’t want that. Instead… he said he wanted to grow up with you.”

               Leon frowned to himself.

               “He wanted to grow up with you. Wanted to make a human body, alter everyone’s memories to make it seem like he was a part of the family… I don’t know why he wanted it so badly, but if it was going to save you?” He tried for a smile. “I agreed. He asked me if I wanted to forget too, and I said no. I couldn’t.”

               The baby made another noise, and he gently shushed her.

               “Just a few more minutes, sweetie,” he murmured. “I don’t think it would’ve made a difference if I said I wanted to, um… Alcor isn’t very good at playing human. I don’t know what I expected, but his - bodies? His bodies keep breaking.” He seemed to shudder at a memory. “Ugh, yeah, it’s not pretty. And then he gets angry, and tears up the house - sometimes he fixes it, but I haven’t been able to have people over for weeks, the living room looks like a, like a wild animal went through it… yeah.”

               Leon heaved a sigh. He stared down at the floor with a glassy expression, and Noie shuddered at how tired he looked. Not a grey hair on his head, but at that moment, he seemed older than David.

               “Yeah…” He repeated, to himself. “It’s… it’s been hard. Some days I almost wish he’d just taken my soul; that would’ve been so much simpler, and you wouldn’t - I can’t imagine how confusing this’ll be when you grow up. I wish he’d just taken my soul.”

               After a moment, he seemed to realise what he was saying. He straightened and cleared his throat, trying to rally a smile.

               “But it’s okay! Or it will be okay, or…” He tried for a laugh. “Um, trying to put a positive spin on this is hard. This is all kind of awful… but Naomi?”

               Leon stared right into the camera, straight into Noie’s eyes, and the smile dropped from his face for a very serious expression. The intensity made her shiver.

               “I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how bad this gets… this was worth it, alright? I’m okay with this.”

               He smiled down at the baby in his arms, and his smile is so wide, so warm, so very genuine.

               “The deal saved your life, and that’s all that matters to me. I’d do it again, Naomi. I’d do it again a million times, because even if I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, I know it gave you the chance to grow up, a-and you never would’ve had that otherwise.” He smiled up at her, sadly. “Even if something does happen to me, a-and you have to watch this video… that means it worked.  That means you got to grow up, and I’m so glad. I’m so glad.”

               The smile wobbled a little.

               “I hope I can be there for it. Stars, I hope everything works out, and I can be there to see the wonderful person you’re gonna grow up to be… but if I don’t, if something happens to me… I want you to know that I don’t regret a thing.”

               He sniffed. Noie watched that, watched him look down at the baby again.

               “Just know that I love you. And Pinni loved you.” His chin trembled. “I just want you to know that. I want you to know that, Naomi, I…”

               The baby suddenly arched its back and opened its mouth, and the first hiccupping start of a cry got out before Leon stood up. He rocked the baby for a second, before leaning down to give the camera a sheepish smile.

               “Uh, I think that’s my cue.” He extended his arm to the camera. “I’ll ask Alcor to, um, store this when he’s- next time I see him, uhhh… maybe I should redo this? Maybe later, I’ll see if I have more time, um, later.”

               The video shook as he fiddled with the camera. He paused, and gave one final smile.

               “Love you, Naomi. Hope you’re doing good. You’re, you’re gonna be amazing, I hope-” A loud cry made him snort. “Alright, alright, I have to go. Love you so much, Naomi… Um, bye!”

               Then the video stopped. Stopped on that final frame of Leon, smiling down at Noie like she was his entire world.

               Smiling down at her, and she wanted to melt into the floor. She just sat there for a second, stunned beyond belief, the pit in her stomach as dark and heavy as a black hole.

               She shook her head, faintly. Shook her head at the video like Leon could see it.

               Then she glanced behind her, tried to get rid of that awful feeling of being watched.

               The thunder rumbled. Rain pattered on the roof, and the TV blared from one room over… and it was so, so eerily silent.

               Noie just sat there. Uncomprehending.

               Shivering, because for once she was cold. There were goosebumps on the arm she used to pull the USB out. She held it for a moment, then set it on the desk and scrambled back.

               Now what?

               Now what?

               The rain fell. The wind whistled. The bed springs creaked as she slumped into Dipper’s bed.

               Now what? She asked herself, and stars, she really didn’t know what to think anymore.

#transcendence au #Noie #dipper #Noie's Brother #lucy ann #toothwrites

[shenanigans-academia]

End of Season 3

Last one! Then I’ll shut up until October

Episode 51: Moving Into Dorms

•”I won’t make you worry, Mom” Izuku don’t life to your mother like that

•”She reminds me of my predecessor”

“What why?”

“It’s the hairstyle” All Might asbsjienb

•I LOVE THESE KIDS SO DAMN MUCH

•I genuinely just want like a spin off of the kids in the dorms. Like them just being super powered teenagers living together and being KIDS like. Please. Living with all your friends with powers? What could go wrong...? Think of the shenanigans

•Aizawa laying down the hammer wow

•I. Love. Kaminari. Jirou leave him alone

•BAKUGO AND KIRISHIMA I LOVE THEM OKAY

•Kirishima is Best Boi

•Uraraka falling over from shock the entire time and Iida freaking out is so cute

•MIDORIYA’S ROOM IM CRYING

•Tokoyami’s is badass leave him be he tried so hard

•Mineta no

•Leave Ojiro alone he’s comfortable

•Kaminari’s room is literally any teenage boy room. I knew at least 4 guys who had a room almost exactly like that lmao

•I FORGOT KODA HAD A BUNNY

•The girls are outnumbered. Hate when Mineta’s right

•Bakugo is such an old man he’s already asleep I love a sleepy sad Boi

•Mineta:”I knew I’d get in trouble if just I suggested seeing the girls dorms now I have people to back me up!”

Todoroki:”I’m over it”

•Honestly Kirishima’s isn’t that bad y’all are just mean (except you Uraraka you get it)

•”If I found out my boyfriend had a room like this I’d dump him” HAGAKURE WHAT THE HECK

•Shouji... honey. Your bed isn’t even made. And they thought Ojiro’s was plain

•Okay Sero’s is cool “yup that’s me, always the wild card” god I love you

•Todoroki’s is so cozy

•Sato is so. Sweet lmao we need more of him

•Jirou is so punk I LOVE HER

•Hagakure. So. Pink

•Mina. So. Hot Pink

•Ojiro is so polite he’s so good

•I need Momo’s bed

•LMAO SERO WRAPPED UP MINETA WHEN HE WAS BEING PERVY WE LOVE TAPE BOY

•YEAH SATO WON

•Intervention time

•Tsuyu is so pure she deserves so much

•YALL MADE TSUYU CRY IMMA FIGHT

•KIRISHIMA APOLOGIZING AND SAYING HE WONT MAKE HER SAD AGAIN WARMS MY HEART they’re all so pure

Episode 52: Create Those Ultimate Moves

•Mido forgetting he was in the dorm is kinda cute he’s like wait this isn’t my room at home

•”That’s 2 questions. Calm down” Iida it’s too early for this and Aizawa is a tired man

•Everyone’s so intense. Then Mido is just like...I can’t move my arms what the fuck do you want from me

•”How can I fight with these damaged arms?” Well everybody told you NOT to break your bones, Deku

•ALL MIGHT HAVING A TEACHING FOR DUMMIES BOOK IM CRYING

•Lmao they just blew up Midoriya

•Nobody:

Mido and Uraraka: BOOOOOOBS

•”I’m Tenya Iida, the man you tricked into to being a walking billboard for you at the Sports Festival!”

“NEVER HEARD OF YA” Hatsume has no chill

•Hatsume doesn’t know personal space lmao

•”My quirk is in my legs you mad woman” Iida is done

•AND MIDORIYA JUST REALIZED HE HAD LEGS LMAO

•Mido is so soft for his mom’s costume I love it

•Bakugo is literally trying to kill somebody

•”If I’m so worried about using my arms then I’m use my LEGS” what happens when you break your legs again honey THINK

Episode 53: The Test

•Gotta protect those stupid red shoes

•I live for Kami’s choker. But Kiri you added sleeves. But still. No. Shirt. Honey

•Tsuyu’s hair up is *chef’s kiss*

•The girls talking about boys like regular teenagers I love it

•”ITS A BOY ISN’T IT IS IT MIDORIYA OR IIDA YOURE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH THEM WHICH ONE IS IT” Minaaaaaaa lmao she doesn’t mess around

•Cue Uraraka watching Deku lmao “it’s not it” SWEETIE YES IT IISSSSSSS

•Inasa is Iida x1000 and with WAY too much caffeine

•Erasure is too emo for love lmao

•”Think about it Erasure, if I was your wife your future would be a life of constant laughter”

“That sounds like a legitimate nightmare” god I love this grumpy man

•I do love Joke and Aizawa’s “friendship” if you want to call it that lmao

•IT’S DEKUS TWIN

•”This charming pretty boy is going to steal our girls” You’re right Kaminari he is

•”Please date me”

“Shut up” I’m both Ms. Joke and Aizawa

•Aizawa has so much faith in his class he’s like I’m not worried about my little shits just watch

Episode 53: Shiketsu High Lurking

•JIROOUUUUUUU

•”PROTECT THIS PERV” Mina is my favorite 1A girl I’m not sorry

•Shindo is slutty Deku and I love him

•I am the commentator wow

•”I don’t know why but I’m actually getting pretty excited about this” of course you are Midoriya you big quirk nerd

•”In order to help others you have to be able to take care of yourself” DEKU SAID SELF CARE

•”Midoriya what is this enviable situation you fight yourself in” Serooooo why

•We’re gettin some good Sero content thank god

•Lmao there’s a ninja school

Episode 55: Class 1A

•Todoroki is. As you say. A Badass

•Inasa:”Wait what were we talking about!?”

Poor Random Kid:”I don’t know. You just came up and started talking...”

•This is literally Anime Hunger Games

•Shouji holding Tsuyu is. So pure

•SHOUJI YELPING AND TURNING AROUND WHEN MOMO OPENS HER SHIRT TO USE HER QUIRK HES SUCH A GOOD RESPECTFUL BOY

•The power group we don’t deserve: Momo, Jirou, Tsuyu, and Shouji

•KAMI AND KIRI FOLLOWING BAKUGO MAKES ME SO HAPPY they love to annoy him and it works but they work so well together love Bakusquad

•GOOEY KIRI IS GROSS LMAO

•Aizawa basically saying Mido and Bakugo are the leaders who help the class work better the most and that he’s honored to teach them is PEAK

Episode 56: RUSH!

•Sooo Shindo’s a sneaky bastard I see

•”THIS IS WHY EVERYONES TERRIFIED OF YOU YOU’RE WAY TOO HARDCORE” Kaminari’s right and he should say it

•I need more Baku and Kami interactions tbh

•”Those ugly ass gauntlets of his” love sassy Kami

•DEFEND BAKUGO SQUAD IS AIZAWA/KAMI AND KIRI YES I LOVE MY BOYS

•Oof Mido takes no prisoners

•It does suck that if you don’t pass the Provisional License exam do you just never get your Hero License? Do you only get a set amount of times you can take it?

•Iida has grown so much

•Bakugo knows your secrettttt

•Jirou says fuck Kaminari lives lmao

•GO CLASS 1A ALL OUR KIDS MADE IT

•Aizawa shut up you big softie lmao

Episode 57: Rescue Exercises

•Sero why are you starting shit lmao

•Kirishima and Kaminari following Bakugo just because they want to is my favorite

•Momo stopping Uraraka from acting too quickly is great leadership skills. All these kids have what to takes to be heroes they work so well together and in situations like these I love these kids so much

•Shouji and Mineta are a good team because Shouji keeps Mineta in line and I appreciate it

•The fake bystanders are hilarious

Episode 58: Special Episode: Save The World With Love!

•All Might and David Shield (GAY)

•Bakugo why are you like this

•Midoriya is a giant softie romantic and I fucking love it

•All Might as a villain is just funny he gets so into the roll but he’s also just a bad actor lmao

•Mic needs to tone it down but he’s so funny

•I like Cementos a lot and Midnight is an A1 actress go her

•All Might running away and shattering the kids idea of love is so fucKING FUNNY LMAO

•Nice way to set up the movie

•UNLCE MIGHT

•GAY

•The timeline of this episode is throwing me off tho since this is before Midoriya moves into the dorms

•DadMight and Deku family vacation SO CUTE

•”You are the real heroes” THEY’RE SO PURE HOLY SHIT

Episode 59: What’s the Big Idea?

•Bakugo you need to calm down babe

•Gang Orca came to play damn

•Todoroki and Inasa are so chaotic together oh my god

•Gang Orca is just like what is up with these damn kids

•”It was a shock to meet your father because when I looked into his eyes the only thing I could see was an insatiable anger aimed at the entire world” imagine being raised/trying to live with that hatred, Inasa

•Lmao Todoroki triggered Inasa into not coming to UA. Endeavor loves ruining kids lives doesn’t he

•TELL EM OFF MIDO

•Inasa is so. Weird

•”Why didn’t I remember him? He’s so loud and obnoxious” You were so blinded by hate for your father that you were literally blind to other people in your way sweetie

•LMAO JUST CHOKE A CHILD THEY’LL GROW STRONGER

•Highkey love Shindo ngl

•Team Work Boys come on

•Ojiro my fuckin BOYYYY

•OHHH TSUYU THATS MY GIRL WE LOVE POWER MOVES

•Love Hair Dude

•Gang Orca’s actually impressed wow

Episode 60: A Talk About Your Quirk

•Mido passed yesss All Might Jr lol

•Bakugo and Todoroki. Whomp whomp

•B:”Let me see it [review of the exam]”

Kiri:”Ahh how about you worry about yourself”

Kiri’s like please don’t kill me

•Sero:”Hey looks like I’m pretty great at this” I love you Tape Boy

•I love how Iida just picks Mineta up by his cheeks and takes him away from people when he’s being too much lmao Dad Mode Activated

•Inasa and Todo are such an interesting dynamic. I haven’t read the manga but I know the make up exam happened recently and their interactions always make me laugh

•Kinda forgot about Toga but there were hints that it was her the whole time so it’ll be cool to actually meet Camie later on

•Holding his Prov. Hero License:”I have to show my mom and All Might right away” Izuku I love you precious boy

•oh my god One For All shut the fuck UP

•”I won’t be dying any time soon. Especially not by Shigaraki’s hand” if that is foreshaDOWING IM GONNA CRY IT BETTER NOT BE HIROKOSHI

•”We’re gonna have a talk about your quirk” I’m ready to CRY

•Kiri sleeping is so cute I love his hair down. And Iida sleeps stiff as a board I’m laughing reminds me of a friend of mine

•Bakugo please just. Breathe

Episode 61: Deku VS. Kacchan, Part 2

•MY FAVORITE EPISODE YALL

•Kacchan Hon, Deku doesn’t live just to get in your way in life believe or not

•Bakugo DEFINITELY kinda planned on killing Midoriya AHH

•”Why hurt each other when we could just talk things out?”

Bakugo tries to blow him up instead

•The flashbacks are killing me they were so small

•Bakugo’s voice cracking while talking about his anguish and self blame? That shit HURTED

•When he yells like this he looks like a feral wolf oh my god Kacchan

•Kacchan needs a hug. Too bad he doesn’t understand being comforted by other people. So instead Izuku KICKS HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD WHAT THE FUCK

•Feral Bakugo has been Leveled Up

•”Our relationship to one another is completely screwed up” Oh really Mido what made you think that

•These kids wanna fuckin die

•”It’s obvious you’ve always looked down on me even when we were kids” Bakugo you are a BIG DUMB BLIND BOOMY BOY

•Okay but the animation tho???

•”All Might was my hero but you were the one ACTUALLY IN MY LIFE” WHEN I SAY I SOBBED

•When Bakugo’s crouched and ready to strike, Me:”MA THERES A WEIRD FUCKING CAT OUTSIDE”

•A wild Gremlin is loose Aizawa and All Might come get your kids

•FUCKIN KO BOI

•lmao whoops never mind

•my favorite MHA ship? Bakugou and Therapy

•ALL MIGHT YOU LITERALY JUST WATCHED THEM PUMMEL THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER BRUH

•Bakugo blaming himself for All Might’s retirement? Kill me

•”Sometimes I forget that you’re children” apparently everybody does THEY’RE 15/16!!!

•”Don’t you dare lose again” you are. So confusing

•Baku’s little exhale tho he had so much weight on his shoulders this poor boy

•”If this secret ever got out, people will wonder where the power went. You idiot why did you tell me about it before” Deku’s like I can’t win with him lmao

•THEY’RE PROPER RIVALS NOW I LOVE 2 IDIOT CHILDREN

•Aizawa with his hair in a ponytail and black V neck tho? Oof when I say I love a man...

•Aizawa is done with this class and these 2 problem children in particular lmao

Episode 62: A Season For Encounters

•My boy Twice

•”Your face makes me want to puke” you get used to it rando villain dude...or noT DABI NO

•Dabi. Babe. Bruh. What the fuck

•Twice and Ectoplasm have similar quirks...TODOROKI WHERE ARE YOU

•Overhaul. I’m gonna hate you so much I can tell. Especially for Season 4 I KNOW YOU you creepy Plague Doctor Asshole

•Kirishima trying to comfort Todoroki is adorable

•MONOMA WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS LEAVE PONY GIRL ALONE DON’T DRAG HER INTO YOUR BULLSHIT LMAO

•SHINSOUUUUUU “looks like he’s bulked up a bit since the Sports Festival” my boy gettin BUFF since he knows Midoriya could’ve killed him if he wanted to lmao

•Kami playing with Ojiro’s tail gives me life

•...You ain’t nothin but a Hound Dog Lmao

•BIG THREE. BIG THREE. BIG. THREE. MIRIOOOOOOO

•God I love Present Mic

•Sero and Mineta are asking to die I swear

•IIDA CALLING MIDO “HOUSE ARREST” AND DOING A FUNNY VOICE IM CRYING I love sassy Iida where has he been

•The first time I saw the scene of Mirio sticking his head through stuff to scare Mido was on Tumblr before I watched MHA and I was CACKLING AND CONFUSED

•The broccoli head was strong in that frame

•THE. BIG. THREE. AHHHH

Episode 63: Unrivaled

•Sometimes I forget how fucking gross Mineta is. Then he opens his mouth and it all comes flooding back

•”He didn’t do that great a job at the Sports Festival last year. Definitely left a strong impression” being buck ass naked will do that lmao

•I relate to Amajiki Tamaki so. Fuckin. Much. I feel you sweetheart

•LET! SHOUJI! TALK!

•Kaminari you dumb

•”The futures gonna be!?... Awful” Wow. Mirio gets it

•Tamaki if you could get off the wall you could do what Mirio’s trying to teach these kids I love an anxious boy

•Big Tough Boi Kiri is both badass and soft I love a Rock

•Aaaannd Mirio traumatized a bunch of kids with his dick. Mostly Jirou lol

•Aizawa your whole class was just murdered by a wild naked man

•Mirio has a baby face TinTin but is fucking JACKED

•”I tried to make it so that you didn’t see my willy. Sorry if you did” Mirio you’re so cute I’m going to bawl in Season 4 I’m not ready

•Mirio walks so funny

•...who the fuck is Sir???

•Kiri bringing Baku his trash: “Sure I’ll take it!”

Anybody else bringing Baku their trash:some kind of aggressive phrase

•Oh, you. I heard about you. I know what happens to you... this is gonna hurt, huh?

Whelp that’s the end of my rewatch. I can’t wait for Season 4! Is it October yet???

#mha rewatch #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #long post #part 6 #spoilers #i cant wait for season 4 #...i thinn im homna read the manga #...and i might rewatch the movie and do another post like this #we’ll see

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Git Gone’ Review

"That was vulgar. I’m a vulgar woman. Anger and grief have… have really just made me vulgar."

American Gods gives us the Gospel According to Laura, and answers a few questions to boot.

OK, it's cheating just a little bit to end two episodes in a row with the exact same cliffhanger, but wow, what a trip it was getting there the second time around.

So, at the end of the previous episode, Shadow enters his motel room to find his recently deceased wife, Laura, sitting on his bed waiting for him. Expectations, then, were that we'd pick up at that same point and get to see their inevitable confrontation over the whole 'died while orally servicing his best friend' situation. But 'Git Gone' takes a different path, and instead goes back to before the show even began and tells the whole thing again, but this time from Laura's perspective.

This is by no means the first show to do an episode dedicated to re-staging things we've already seen, but from the perspective of one of the other characters, but there's a reason that shows like to do it, and it's not just the cost savings of re-using existing sets. The primary virtue of this setup is that it allows you to fill in a lot of character information, while revealing information about events you've already seen that we didn't know at the time. Case in point, we've already heard the phone conversation between Shadow and Laura in 'The Bone Orchard'. but now we know that she literally had his best friend naked on their bed while she was talking to him. That changes how we feel about Laura during that conversation a lot.

So, let's talk about Laura.

For the first three episodes, Laura has essentially been a woman in the refrigerator. It's an insidious trope, which can be boiled down to the idea that stories tend to treat female characters as someone to kill so that the important character, i.e. the man, can be properly motivated to do whatever the story needs him to do. It's a pleasant relief then to find out that, no, Laura has been having a fairly eventful story of her own, and her untimely death was only the middle part of it.

The thing that 'Git Gone' makes clear about Laura is that she is fundamentally self-destructive. The very first decision we see her make is to attempt suicide in her covered hot tub by breathing in the titular bug spray, and that appears to have been brought on by nothing more than the casino she's working at telling her that she can't shuffle the cards by hand anymore, but she likes shuffling cards so she's super sad about it. She's clearly smart and perceptive; it takes her all of three seconds to understand the con that Shadow is trying to pull at her blackjack table. She's also basically kind, since her response to his con is to point out the casino's security measures and what they'll do to him when he's caught, then takes his bet and tells him to finish his drink and go home while he can. But when Shadow approaches her afterward and tries to ask her out in a reasonably polite fashion she's not interested. She only becomes interested in him once he starts getting stalker-ishly creepy. The same is true of their sex scene. She's bored out of her mind when he's being a courteous lover, and slaps him full in the face for no other reason than to see what he'll do. That's just not a safe thing to do to a guy you just picked up after he attempted to rob your casino, and whom you know absolutely nothing about. Which is why she does it.

The sequence of scenes where we see Shadow grow happier and happier while she grows sadder and sadder tell us everything we need to know about Laura. She likes Shadow, but he's nice. And when Laura has something nice in her life, Laura is immediately compelled to destroy that thing. That's why she suggests the casino heist that gets Shadow sent to prison. That's why she starts sleeping with Robbie while Shadow's away. Note the way that Laura only slept with Robbie the second time because he had accepted her statement that they shouldn't. Note also how she was clearly just as bored during her sex with Robbie as she had been that first night with Shadow. It was never about the sex, it was about inviting things into her life that would cause as much damage as possible. When Audrey mentions that she wishes Robbie looked at her the way Shadow looks at Laura, you can feel how little Laura values it. How much she needs to destroy it, in order to prove to herself that she doesn't deserve it. Honestly, season one doesn't give us much in terms of Laura's early background information, and the book gives even less, but note that Laura's mother appears to be at their wedding and her father isn't. I suspect there's a lot of interesting backstory there, and I hope we get more of it in the future. People this self destructive don't just happen for no reason.

And hey, we mentioned Audrey a moment ago. Audrey, and I'll make no bones about this whatsoever, is my absolute favorite character in the show, despite only being in two episodes of the first season. The scene between Audrey and Laura in Audrey's bathroom is absolutely the centerpiece of this episode. That scene works on every conceivable level. It's simultaneously hysterically funny, heartbreakingly sad, and the weirdest thing you're likely to see on television. And it all comes down to the fact that both Betty Gilpin as Audrey and Emily Browning as Laura play the absolute emotional truth of the moment, despite the fact that the moment is a zombie with diarrhea on the toilet in front of the woman whose husband she died while blowing. Oh, and she stopped by to borrow craft supplies. The whole thing is basically, what if The Walking Dead was a production of the Hallmark Channel, and those two actresses make it work. Audrey is confronted with the woman she thought was her best friend but was sleeping with her husband. Who died while betraying her. When Audrey speaks the line 'I found out my husband was cheating on me and dead in the same sentence' you absolutely feel how much pain she's in, and it feels real. Despite the zombie diarrhea and the craft supplies, it feels like genuine emotional damage that she has no idea how to work through. It's amazing.

Then Audrey gets her craft supplies, sews her friend's arm back on for her, and drives her where she needs to go. Because she has no idea how else to respond to the situation. And if anyone is capable of getting through the following exchange without falling in love a little with Audrey, then that person has no soul. As Audrey is sewing her dead friend's arm back on and discussing the way that friend slept with her husband:

Laura: "I feel terrible about it." Audrey: "Oh, F*ck your feelings."

Quotes:

Laura: "Is this your first time trying to rob a casino?" Shadow: "A casino? Yeah." Laura: "Well, you’re really not very good at it."

Shadow: "All l know is there’s more than I know."

Laura: "There’s no farm upstate for old dogs."

Laura: "I have a perfect plan. You will never get caught." Cut to Jail Laura: "How did you get caught?"

Laura: "I lived my life. Good and bad. Definitely not light as a feather."

Audrey: "…Laura?" Laura: "Hey Audrey." Audrey:

Laura: "Audrey. Audrey. Don’t call the police." Audrey: "Get out of my house, you zombie whore!"

Ibis: "Don’t move. You’re still tacky."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Nice fake-out at the beginning with the Egyptian theme casino. The casino's name was 'The 26th Dynasty' Apparently that was the last Egyptian dynasty before they were invaded by the Persians. I don't know if that's at all important, but information is always nice.

-- Mrs. Fadil's post-death scene with Anubis last week served the important function of letting us understand what was happening to Laura this week. It's a little weird that Laura would be the province of an Egyptian death god though. They hand waved it last week with Mrs. Fadil remembering the old stories, but all we get here is that Laura is Anubis' concern because of the manner of her passing. That seems like a curiously specific thing for an Egyptian god to care about. Maybe she had to sign a release when she started working at the casino or something.

-- The hot tub is a visual metaphor for nothingness and oblivion. Watch the episode with that in mind and it opens up a world of interesting interpretations.

-- Do people leave their TVs on for the cats while they're out? It made total sense that it was the death of Dummy the cat, who Laura claimed to not even like, that drove her completely off the rails and into the affair with Robbie.

-- I'm not sure why, but the Egyptian eyes on Laura's work uniform bow tie really freaked me out. Like, to an irrational degree.

-- Laura's dialogue, 'When you die, you rot,' is shown over the images of her and Shadow's wedding. That was a nice directorial touch.

-- I liked the visual cue of Shadow leaving his wedding ring on the statue of the Eifel Tower when he went to the gym. That's a real thing, I take off mine myself to work out.

-- Three episodes later, we find out that it was Laura who killed all of Technical Boy's henchmen and saved Shadow from the lynching. Wow, zombie Laura is apparently quite strong. And can kick you in the balls so hard your entire spinal column flies out the top of your head, which was a funny sight gag.

-- Mr. Jacquel, a.k.a. Anubis, told Laura that after this was all over he would complete his task and send her to oblivion. So now Laura has a matching doom over her head to go with Shadow's promise to let Czernobog smash his head in when it's all over.

-- I'd have liked to have known what happened to Audrey after she and Laura encountered Jacquel and Ibis. I assume she just dropped Laura off and went back home, but it would have been nice to see it.

-- Absent entirely this week - Wednesday, Mad Sweeney, Bilquis, Media, Technical Boy, Czernobog, The Zorya sisters, and Mr. World.

A great episode that gave us a lot of character work and some intriguing answers, but at the expense of paying off the previous episode's cliffhanger.

Three and a half out of four hot tubs.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

#American Gods #Shadow Moon #Laura Moon #Neil Gaiman #American Gods Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

[kook-tae]

If you read fanfics, what's some of your favorites (with links please!)

alright, so there are some of my faves, tho I’ve read a lot of fanfics tbh, but it would be a pain to list them all. there’s more than one pairing in here, but most of them are taekook. 

all of them are completed, because I’m really shitty at keeping up with the unfinished ones OTL, and they’re mostly one shots, tho there are some that are longer as well. 

so here you go!

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go (1/1 | 20,271 | Rated E)

Dramatization. Do not try at home.

Get Me Out Of My Mind (Get You Out Of Those Clothes) (1/1 | 15,797 | Rated E)

Taehyung never thought he’d fall in love with his roommate. Then again, he never thought his roommate would have been a literal gift from god either.

Date Me (1/1 | 5,439 | Rated G)

Taehyung flirts with the cute high school boy and relishes in the flustered reaction he gets for almost an entire year. But when the following year comes along, he finds himself choking on his own words.

I feel safe in the 5 a.m. light (love in my arms and the sun in my eyes) (1/1 | 8,031 | Rated M)

And Taehyung thinks he’s never loved anyone more in his life than the boy above him who’s a little bit rough and sometimes a bit insensitive and maybe a little bit mean, but he’s also so soft and so gentle, and he treats Taehyung like he’s something so precious to him. And maybe he’s like that because of Taehyung, or maybe it’s because underneath everything, underneath the tough exterior and the sky-high walls, his heart’s more delicate than Taehyung’s, but all Taehyung knows is that Jeongguk fills up all of Taehyung’s vulnerable pieces with parts of himself.

Be Your Forever, Be Your Fling (1/1 | 40,932 | Rated M)

“As long as you want me, I’ll stay. I’ll be in love with you; for eternity, forever. I don’t think that will ever change,” Jeongguk says, a smile to his voice.

“You’re my first love. My only love.”

my ex-man found a new boyfriend (1/1 | 4,571 | Rated T)

after their breakup, jimin watches taehyung fall in love with someone else through social media.

Kill Me (But Don’t Let Me Die) (1/1 | 14,978 | Rated M)

Taehyung is a hired killer and Jungkook works at a bakery.

scam romance (1/1 | 10,156 | Rated E)

“I had the most brilliant idea when I woke up this morning,” Taehyung says, and this is definitely not a good thing. This is Jeongguk’s cue to back the fuck out. The last time Taehyung had a brilliant idea, Jeongguk went to the emergency room with a raisin lodged in his ear.

“You know,” he begins, “I just remembered this thing I have to do. Very important, can’t skip it—”

“How do you feel about pretending to be boyfriends?”

(On the morning of Valentine’s Day, Taehyung proposes a plan. What follows is the systematic exploitation of every couples-only deal in the city.)

A Little Back Pain (1/1 | 3,255 | Not Rated)

Taehyung wakes up one morning with immense back pain only to be rushed to a radio station for an early morning schedule with the rest of Bangtan. Trying not to make any trouble, he tries to keep it a secret, but eventually that becomes increasingly hard.

make this chaos count (1/1 | 14,597 | Rated T)

Taehyung struggles and battles with himself a lot during a three-month break the band is given. Jeongguk is somehow always there despite everything.

you could be the one (that can mess me up) (1/1 | 6,016 | Rated T)

Jungkook doesn’t know why Kim Taehyung makes him so angry.

(or the one when Jungkook is emotionally constipated and Taehyung is more patient than anyone gives him credit for)

Love and Other Planets (2/2 | 12,281 | Rated M)

Kim Taehyung is president of the Astronomy Club, Park Jimin is captain of the basketball team, and Jeon Jungkook is so annoying.

butterfingers (1/1 | 9,752 | Rated T)

The amount of things that Taehyung has a steady grip around is limited to three.

Piece of Art (1/1 | 28,640 | Rated M)

The only masterpiece that has even remotely caught Taehyung’s attention recently is the new, talented (and incredibly gorgeous) junior who just got accepted into his senior art class.

Our Blooming Love (1/1 | 6,004 | Not Rated)

There’s more than meets the eye. Like Jeon Jungkook…sure he may seem like a person you’d want to avoid with his tattoos and multiple piercings. But to Taehyung, he was something much more than that.

Jungkook became a friend….and then his lover.

(A short AU of Taehyung meeting a misunderstood Jungkook and how their loved bloomed)

dating for dummies (1/1 | 12,061 | Rated G)

in which twitter is evil, jeon jeongguk is a bit tsundere, park jimin is satan and kim taehyung may or may not have a boyfriend.

All’s Fair in Coffee and War (1/1 | 6,898 | Rated T)

“Goddammit, Kim Taehyung,” Jeongguk moaned, “I thought I’d get you with the soy.”

Love Makes Quite the Fashion Statement (1/1 | 5,333 | Rated M)

Taehyung knits ugly sweaters, and Jungkook wears his heart on their sleeves.

change my world (you’re the sunlight in my universe) (1/1 | 6,751 | Rated T)

Jungkook is an artist who likes drawing on the cafe’s freedom wall. Taehyung sees his drawings, and falls in love.

Featuring Jimin as the 100% done wingman, Yoongi as the possessive boyfriend, and Seokjin as the sassy mom.

My Love Is Carried To You By My Feet (1/1 | 2,501 | Rated T)

Taehyung gets stood up and Jeongguk (unsuccessfully) tries to ignore him.

(Advanced warning that this is pure fluff).

refrigerator humming, chewing gum and instant karma (8/8 | 61,449 | Rated E)

Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. “Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. I hope you’re thinking about me too. Love–” he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. “Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?”

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung’s been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi’s criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

OTHER PAIRINGS

to the night, will you follow me? (29/29 | 95,085 | Rated G | yoonjin)

yoongi is a single parent, taehyung is his son who wants to be a dragon, jimin is the dragon’s new best friend, and seokjin is too good looking for a single dad working two jobs.

it’s your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in (1/1 | 22,658 | Rated T | vmin)

The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung’s, it’s an emergency. The other times after? That’s a different story.

let’s get going (1/1 | 7,389 | Rated E | vmin)

kim taehyung could’ve lived his whole life without knowing that jimin owns a dildo.

finger cuffs (3/3 | 30,561 | Rated T | vmin)

taehyung falls in love every day but this time, he insists, it is real. but all of his friends are vehemently against the object of his latest affection.

“can you give me one?”

“a reason?” yoongi hums shortly. “you’re sensitive. you fall for anyone in a matter of seconds. and he throws people away like used tampons. there’s three.”

because fries and mixtapes (1/1 | 6,644 | Not Rated | taegi)

Yoongi works the graveyard shift at a fast food restaurant while trying to make it big. Taehyung has insomnia.

large, extra cheese, extra sauce (extra you) (1/1 | 8,981 | Rated T | taegi)

Taehyung starts everything by procrastinating. Even unhealthy crushes on the pizza delivery boy.

Linger (1/1 | 12,249 | Rated M | taegi)

Taehyung is too much of a fool to see that he’s got Yoongi wrapped around his finger.

how can i make you mine? (1/1 | 5,369 | Not Rated | taegi)

The five times the members interrupt or delay Taehyung’s great confession and the one time a confession is spit out.

Kind of.

Principle of Behaviour (1/1 | 12,488 | Rated E | taegikook)

Only Yoongi’s allowed to touch the potions, and that’s a rule. But Taehyung’s never really liked rules, and it always seems to be Jungkook who suffers because of this. (Okay, suffer may not be the right word, but still.)

disco, calypso (it don’t matter) (6/6 | 27,169 | Rated E | 2seok)

Seokjin didn’t ask for any of this. Not for his estranged son Taehyung to suddenly move in and turn Seokjin’s orderly life upside down. Certainly not for said son to come with a mentor and dance instructor in the form of the impossibly sunny, annoyingly attractive Jeong Hoseok. Fortunately, the universe doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to what Seokjin does and does not ask for.

#taekook #vmin #taegi #taegikook #2seok #yoonjin #fanfic rec #anonymous #replies

[bidennisreynolds-archive]

Title: Lionheart (Part 3 )

Pairing: Elena Cobblepot x Victor Zsasz but attempts are made at Elena Cobblepot x Ed Nygma

Summary: Elena knows what Ed is trying to do to her brother. Ed knows that Elena knows what he’s trying to do. He reevaluates and figures the best way to break Oswald Cobblepot, the man in love with him, is to seduce and destroy the Penguin’s twin sister.

Warnings: None

Tags: @socktrollqueen @elliotsbutt @high-functioning-fangirl473

     “I’ll go if you want me to. I’ll go if you don’t want me to. I’ll just go.”

     “No, you won’t.”

     I push Victor back down on the couch, giving him a quick kiss. He watched me get ready in silence earlier. Now he’s vocal about his displeasure.

     “He threatened you.”

     “That wasn’t a threat. Ed just wanted to get under my skin.”

     “Well he’s under mine instead.”

     “Isn’t there someone Falcone wants you to kill tonight?”

     “Took care of it earlier.” Victor stands back up. “Tell the mayor I’ve volunteered to work security.”

     “You aren’t coming.” I finish putting my earrings in and grab a pair of heels I left sitting beside the coffee table. “Stay here. Write a book.”

     “Assassination for Dummies.”

     “Sounds enthralling.”

     “It would be better if my wife helped me.” Victor grabs my hand and passes a thumb over the diamond ring on my finger. “Assassins protect people… mostly. Is it wrong to want to protect my family?”

     He’s usually the one with a quick pun or off color joke. I don’t really know what to do with an emotionally honest Victor. He picks up on this and drops my hand, his head falling forward to lay against my stomach.

     “I saw the test, Ellie. When were you going to tell me?”

     “Tomorrow. I have a doctor’s appointment this weekend to confirm. Victor,” I take his face in my hands and kiss him softly. “I’ll be safe.”

     He squeezes my wrists before saying, “If you’re not call me immediately. Don’t hesitate, don’t play the hero. Call. Me.”

     “I love you, Victor.”

     Victor chuckles. “I know.”

     “You’re supposed to say it back, jerk.”

     He rolls his eyes dramatically. “Fine. I love you too… even when you’re being stupid. Hopefully the baby ends up with my brains. Not to mention my charm and good looks and uncanny ability to keep you out of trouble.”

     With that insult I decide to finally head for the mansion. The drive from our apartment to my father’s home isn’t excessively long, but the later it gets in Gotham the more people decide to go out. With my luck I end up getting stuck in the middle of it. When I’m finally able to make it Oswald and Ed are seated, Olga pouring wine in their glasses. I put a hand over the rim of my own glass when she goes to fill it.

     “No thank you, Olga.”            

     Oswald clears his throat, placing a napkin in his lap with a flourish. “I’ve never known you to turn down wine.”

     “I have a long drive.”

     “Not that long if I remember correctly.” Ed butts in.

     I smile as politely as I can. “You’ve been out of commission for a week at most, Ed. Did Isabelle-”

     “Isabella.”

     “Scramble your brain that badly? Or maybe it’s the excessive time you’ve been spending with the three stooges?”

     “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His teeth are gritted and there’s venom in his stare.

     “Oh? I could’ve swore I saw you with Barbara, Tabitha, and Butch. Oh! And someone that looked remarkably like-”

           Ed’s foot shoots out and kicks me under the table. “What gets a shower but doesn’t get wet?”

           Oswald looks between the two of us and stutters out, “A- a baby?” He turns to me, a large smile spreading across his face. “Elena, are you pregnant?”

           “I- maybe? I’ve taken a couple tests and Victor and I have a doctor’s appointment this weekend to confirm.” I kick Ed back. He flinches with a low grunt. “I was trying to wait until we were certain. There’s so much room for something awful to happen.”

           “But surely if you’re aware of the baby things should be safe?”

           “I don’t know Ozzie! I’ve never been pregnant before! It isn’t exactly like Mother prepared us for sex!”

           Oswald blushes. His hands do an awkward wave towards Ed. “We- we don’t need to talk about that in front of friends.”

           “Why not? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

           “It’s a private matter.”

           “You sound like Mother. No wonder you were always her favorite. You’re such a prude, Oswald!”

           Ed sits there silently, listening to us bicker back and forth. He looks smug. My blood boils. Olga brings out the food. I eat quietly while Ed and Oswald play catch up. The sight is damn near nauseating and I know I need to get Ed out of the way. Quickly. It’ll break Oswald’s heart but… I’d rather have a briefly sad brother than a permanently dead brother.

           “As lovely as this dinner has been,” I say once I’ve had enough. “I think I should head home now.” The two of them act like they don’t hear me, so I raise my voice. “It’s late. I’m leaving.”

           This time they hear me and Oswald’s smile falls. “It’s only nine thirty.”

           “I’m tired.”

           Oswald pouts but doesn’t push me. He never does when I say I’m tired. Too afraid I’ll snap his head off I think. “Fine. Let Gabe walk you to your car though. The estate is well protected, but I don’t want to chance anything happening.”

           I sigh. “I’m possibly pregnant. Not an invalid.”

           “Don’t care. Gabe!”

           “No, no!” Ed jumps from his chair, tossing his napkin on his empty plate. “Please, Oswald, allow me. I’d like to catch up a bit with Elena before she leaves us for the night.”

           I don’t miss the implication behind his words. I’m not leaving. I can stay as long as I like. I can kill your brother if I like. I also don’t miss how tight his grip on my elbow is as he walks me out of the mansion.

           “How did you know?” I ask when we reach my car. “Not even Oswald could tell.”

           “Oswald can be blind when it comes to the people he loves.”

           “Obviously.”

           Ed continues like he hadn’t heard me. “He mentioned you feeling ill the past month or so. I myself had already picked up on that before taking my leave of absence. Then when you refused a glass of your favorite wine it was easy enough to figure out.”

           “You shouldn’t have said anything.”

           “Nor should you.” Ed adjusts his glasses. “Tell me, Elena, what do you think you stand to gain from exposing me? Especially with no hard evidence.” When I don’t answer he continues. “You have nothing to worry about anymore. My dealings with the three stooges as you so lovingly called them are over.”

           “Really?”

           “Yes.”

           “So no more revenge plot? Just like that?” I don’t believe it. Ed Nygma is not the type of man to just give up when he feels wronged. He’s a lot like Oswald that way.

           Ed sighs and reaches toward me, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “I understand you don’t believe me right now, but you will.”

           “You’ve literally already told me I can’t stop you from hurting my brother. Now you expect me to believe you’ve just magically seen sense overnight. Life doesn’t work like that. I know you’re still planning something.” I knock his hand away and move to get in my car, but he grabs my wrist.

           “Elena, you can’t live life skeptical of everyone. I’ll prove myself. To you and to Oswald.”

           I yank my wrist back, feeling his nails scratch against my skin. “Doubtful. Oh, by the way,” I add as I slip inside my car. “I’m seeing Captain Bullock-”

           “Acting Captain.”

           “Tomorrow. As you know, it’s my job to help bridge the gap between the Mayor’s office and the GCPD. I have to update Harvey on Oswald’s plan to keep crime under control. I’ll let him know you’re ready to help since, you know, you’re so eager to prove yourself.”

           To Ed’s credit he simply smiles and nods. The smile is stuck in my brain for the rest of the night.

#oswald cobblepot #oswald cobblepot imagine #ed nygma #ed nygma imagine #victor zsasz #victor zsasz imagine #gotham #gotham imagine

[toyfrog]

A Rotting Fish Always Starts At The Head. Blacklist Breakdown...

There’s no easier way to say it. When an audience is forced [or conditioned] to sympathize with a failed protagonist, and your audience says “F-You”, and your ratings reflect it, admit your mistake because your show is pretty much done. This episode had four writers on it. not one, four, and the cookie cutter execution speaks for itself.

This is my last breakdown of this show. I cannot stomach plot driven storytelling. Its all about fitting square pegs into round holes. The answer is simple, but when too many chefs argue over a simple recipe on how to prepare Fish n Chips, your food critic drops their napkin and dines across the street.

The Rotting Fish starts at the head.

The Show Runner.

This is all on the show runner. Writers Room do as he asks. and apparently the has been no longer has energy or inspiration to write but plot. Reminds me of another show runner that I used to but heads with. My friend still works on his show and is in fact, “the cleaner”. He mops up every plot driven story, tweaks it in order to save face just for emmy submission.

But audience and the writers know, after the story is retconned over and over, they stop caring. Its just a job, a paycheck if you will to get food o the table. Show runner loses the respect of the writers and the cast once they're forced to stifle creativity. In this case, its Plot driven Liz vs. S1 Liz. Its Eisendrath’s Liz vs Bokenkamp’s Liz. Its Lukas Reiter’s Keen 2 Vs his Keenler. and when you have story placement like this:

Tom/Liz discussing Redemption spin off...

Red drop in scene with Harold making Liz the victim and her shooting the attorney general was Red’s fault? You're deliberately pushing two agendas. Blacklist audience loves Red. Its what the show markets. They market the unwavering task force. But they don’t give Red or the task force a voice: just a plot line and its painfully obvious to anyone who’s taken masterclass in screenwriting, script format, editing, directing, that this show has no identity anymore. When that happens, you have no reason to watch. Perhaps thats Eisendrath’s goal? IF it is, then Id consider Season 4 the last of the Blacklist. I don’t think they'll get a full Season 5 and it may not return till January of Next year. Its just that dismal. The BTS drama has now officially spilled into the show.

Not. Good.

Liz: [The most useless protagonist after forcing her to be married to an irredeemable character, and regressing her to a one dimensional self serving teen with a baby. This writing is so childish. Serves no purpose at all except to create phony sympathy for two characters who did this to themselves.]

Liz: When you were a little baby, you lived in a warehouse. And we had bodyguards. Say hi, Baz. And inside the warehouse was... a fake apartment! [Writers using the baby for a filler scene that has no meaning except to make Keen 2 acceptable sympathetic? Sorry, I don’t.] Oh, look! It's your [Fake] daddy in your fake living room. Hey, here's Daddy wondering how much damage we've done to our sweet little girl. [Yes writers TELL US HOW TOM FEELS. Number one rule in story telling is SHOW not tell but they cannot do that because that takes time and imagination and CHARACTER writing and the show is in plot format like when Tom killed the harbormaster. Like I'm supposed to have sympathy for a man who murders innocent people because its all for Liz. Liz is a villain now thanks to Tom. a selfish villain Give this baby up for adoption and be done with it.] Well, it'll make for an intriguing college essay. [If they truly cared about their child, they would've given her up. they don’t they use that baby to create sympathy. Yes writers YOU DID THIS.]

 Tom: Yeah. So, I know we're moving out, but just a quick gut check here. [Its called reminding the audience this is the main storyline, we are wrapping it up the disastrous arc that was only written to steal the keenler baby and push Eggold and the spinoff. The longer this dialogue continues, the more audience turns against them.] Kirk is gone. But according to Reddington, he's, what, dead? Not dead? [this conversation serves zero purpose. filler and an excuse to give Eggold a lead story. it doesn’t work.]

 Liz: He's definitely not in jail. I don't know. 

 Tom: With Reddington, I don't assume anything. He kept you from getting answers about who your father is.[Bad Reddington! Bad!! He’s the evil one. Audience goes...Are you Effing kidding me? After all he's done for her. Filler dialogue for Redemption. I’ll just say it. These people don’t know how to write a spin off. They know what NOT to do. Plot written for 12 months. I give up seriously.]

 Liz: You're the one that told me that's in my past. [You told me how to think. You told me how to feel. You told me what I should do. Liz cannot think for herself because she is in PLOT MODE.]

 Tom: I know, and it is. But I don't know. [Tom going against Liz. Ah how nice. Notice who’s the LEAD OF THE SHOW NOW? Its not Liz and hasn’t been since 311. Do as I say not as I do. Tom can dictate, no one else can. There must be one or two writers that literally behave like this in real life because I don’t think they realize how dysfunctional this all is. And WTF a RED HEADED BABY? CRUEL.] Maybe now that I'm a dad, [why don’t they ever say “father?” I mean my son says “now that I’m a father. Odd choice of words.] I'd... be lying if I said I didn't wonder who my father is. [See? ]

 Liz: That's totally understandable. And another day, I might feel differently, [So Liz is still wishy washy. Go Tom, leave us so you can meet your father. Then come back to us because we need you to screw up the show. I can lay bets when editors are reading this crap…they are scratching their eyeballs there hasn’t been genuine dialogue in 12 months. This is pure fan fiction of the worst kind. Let that sink in.]  but this is our present and our future. That's all that matters. [Yup. Manipulate with a baby. That means no reason for 80% of the audience to watch this show.]

 Yeah. That and getting her into a good college. 

Yeah. Let's start by finding her a place to live. She needs to be able to open up her living room windows and see the sun. [She not WE. Plot point.] Hmm. [ Sighs ] We all do. [We all do Liz? It is difficult having sympathy for a character who doesn’t give a shit about anyone. Just….is.]

And here’s the rewrite.

Cooper:  We spent months hunting for Alexander Kirk at your instance. [No Eisendrath’s insistence to make Tom this wondrous lead. All it did was lower the ratings. I see no change there.] The man is responsible for the deaths of FBI agents, the abduction of Elizabeth and her daughter. –[Notice what is missing here? Cooper’s Navabi’s Ressler’s Aram’s and Red’s rage against Liz. Liz once again is scott free thanks to Plot audience’s feelings not expressed on screen. When audience cannot relate, they shut it off.]

 Red: You're upset.

 Cooper: You're damn right I'm upset. You let him go. And worse, it's clear to me now that was your intent all along. You played us. [Like Harold hasn’t figured this out after 4 years? When is this FBI task force going to get wise and not be the Dummy? Oh gee, that was last year they had that opportunity and Eisendrath trashed it.]

Red: Harold, my objective was to keep Elizabeth and her child safe. I've done that. We've done that. [Yes Liz never thanked ANYONE. No real remorse. ] Alexander Kirk is gone, and he won't be back.[ Gee, they never should’ve created him last season in the first place and derail the real arc.] It's time to move on. [THIS IS THE LINE I HATE THE MOST IN PLOT DRIVEN FORMAT> AUDIENCE MOVE ON ITS OVER BULLSHYT! Bradley Bell’s {ah yes the spats, the arguments and he still has a friend of mine cleaning up his [plot driven, jump the shark, writing characters into corner messes on the Bold and the Beautiful] favorite go to line to give his audience amnesia. What you saw, did not happen….move on…SMDH The formula alienates a viewing audience like a fart in the wind.]

Red: [Here comes the plot driven story. You know this because its Like Kings of the Highway. Has no bearing on the main stories. If it did, Red would be involved in Samar’s plight. He isn’t. If it were Liz and Red would have scenes. They don’t. This entire episode is filler and uses the task force as a B story to redirect wait for it PLOT! ] Last night, a seafood processing plant in Maryland was attacked by armed commandos. Local authorities suspect rogue employees were secretly using the facility to package and distribute narcotics. But you know better. 

Cooper: Now that you mention it, I do. Seven supposed employees were killed in the attack. Photos were circulated to law enforcement trying to connect them to the drug trade. How did you get this? [Who cares how he got it, it has nada to do with him.]

Red: You're not looking at a seafood processing plant employee, nor a drug dealer. That is Hassan Arkani.

Cooper: The terrorist? From Algeria? You're telling me one of the most wanted terrorists on the planet was conducting a secret operation out of the back room of a Maryland fish factory? [SHOW DON’T TELL. It’s not hard.]

Red: You see? No time to dwell on the past. [Bullshyt. If I were Spader, I’d not show up to work until they fixed this garbage. No Inspiration, writers block for 12 months. Pathetic.] If my people hear anything, I'll contact Agent Keen.

 [Why? What’s the point? She should be reaching out to HIM after all this. this is so plot driven. Bokenkamp wants to take it to S1 Day one except Keen 2 now have a kid and just forget all those people tom killed or all the people Liz and Tom used...youre supposed to care about the long suffering duo. Audience goes...1.0]

Cooper: Agent Keen. Did you forget her agent status was revoked? [This is Young and the Restless Soap Opera repetitive style dialogue. This is seriously, not good. They even have the “another day” wait till they say, “oh the other day?” Unreal. PLOT PLOT PLOT. Harold and everyone called Liz Agent in Esteban. Lousy Lousy execution.]

Red: I did not forget that, or the plea agreement I worked out with Laurel Hitchin that kept her out of jail after she shot your Attorney General. 

[Oh yes, this episiode is a TOTAL REWRITE. I wasn’t sure at first but it is. This is what you state redirecting story, remind the audience of what they saw. If this were truly part of the episode, you would’ve seen flashbacks of Red and Liz signing her plea deal. This is pure drop into the dialogue to change direction]

Cooper: You don't want to dwell on the past, then dwell on this-- the loss of her badge was a stain on Elizabeth's name and reputation, which you are ultimately responsible for. 

{STOP RIGHT THERE! So Eisendrath now wants the audience to blame Red for Liz losing her license? Liz shot the attorney general! Like Navabi said, “No one told her to pull that trigger! No one told her to kidnap tom in the hull of a ship, lie to Reven wright harboring a fugitive, or cover up a murder of an innocent man. Oh no this RETCON not only makes me LOATHE her character and all the characters defending her. Now I can’t stand Cooper! Its NOT how you write story.]

Cooper: Your presence in her life has turned it into what it is today. [No. Liz did that by herself!]  You've brought her nothing but pain, grief, and regret, [Wheres the regret and grief? We haven’t seen it. None of it.] which you seem utterly oblivious to, [Actually it’s the writers room that is utterly oblivious to the feelings of their faithful audience. Your lead heroine doesn’t care who she uses, who she hurts, but its Red’s fault? Yeah this won’t get anyone to watch your show.] and surprisingly powerless to rectify. [Who wants to fire Harold for such a horrible speech? Writers Room want you to think he's the best boss.]

Red: Good talk, Harold. [ Door opens ] [DROP IN SCENE. Cooper to redirect. No. Sorry. This is not a good storyline.]

Hassan Arkani. Algerian born. He was a munitions expert linked to the New Martyrs Brigade. The NMB is deadly enough to rank number six on the Group Threat Index. Based in Libya, they have loyal supporters in countries throughout the region. I have documentation of attacks in 17 different countries. Yeah, but none on US soil. So what was Arkani doing in Maryland? And whatever it was, he's not doing it anymore. 

[NEWSFLASH THIS STORYLINE IS JUST FILLER HAS NO BEARING ON THE SHOW SO IM GONNA GUT MOST OF IT]

So is Reddington saying the New Martyrs were building some kind of mass casualty weapon to use here?

Cooper: It's possible. We don't know what they were building or who took it or where it is now. I've notified Homeland, the CIA, and NSA. Ressler, Navabi, get to that factory. Keen, let the locals know we're taking over. [Tell not show story format is killing the show. No follow up. No visual. No experience. That is NOT storytelling.]

Samar: Uh, wait, where's Aram? Hey. Cooper told me. 

[PLOT We did not see Cooper tell her anything. This show is a hot mess! Go back to season one, read the transcripts and see if you can find any of these little plots dropped in? Yeah you won't!.This is a rewrite so is the Elise my girlfriend is a mole.Its an addendum to redirect the original arc and they use Bokenkamp’s and Eisendrath’s story plot to show you. ]You have nothing to worry about. [No he doesn’t but still in all this is a total rewrite. Unbelievable.]

Aram: Really? I'm being questioned in connection to a Justice Department investigation into whether my girlfriend committed espionage. [YES WE ARE TOLD. WE WERE NOT TREATED TO AN ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE THRUSHES BECAUSE THE ARC IS GUTTED. Who was the Mole Elise referred to? Ah yes you don’t get to see who that was because its been rewritten. For now.]

You didn't know.

Aram: So I'm either a traitor or a moron. [This is what Panabaker mouthed to Ressler over the damn phone in Cuba. So word for word Aram says it? Redirecting the arc. Originally they had Ressler, which means two things. This “mole” crap is just a plot device to delay a bigger story in the back nine, or it was scrapped from Eisendrath’s hitlist altogether. Ressler was your traitor. The writers are either protecting or killing Ressler this season I’m not sure anymore. I’d say hes up in the air like I stated in September. Your third lead male to have no lead story for 12 months because Eggold took Diego’s lead status. Not good But about that 1.0 teetering on a 0.9…great story placement. That Tom/Red/Liz arc is just bringing the masses in, right Sony?]

Samar: A moron. Definitely. [Samar was not even implicated nor did they foreshadow in the first episode that she was doing this. This is all plot. No wonder the cast is acting like zombies. Samar is the patsy to a fallen story arc.] Ah, you always know just what to say. Aram, you're a trusting person who assumes the best in people. Be yourself and they will see that. Everyone does.

Woman over radio: What is your ETA, please? Agent Ressler?

[Like I said. Go back to 0318 when Tom goes, “What’s our ETA?” The show runner gave Tom Ressler’s dialogue. Tom is not a fed. And here it’s much like the same only this time, Samar is getting the shaft.] This is Andrew Wyatt, the factory manager. Thank you, Detective.

Mr. Wyatt, thanks for your cooperation.

[Like in Drexel. Like in Quon Zhang, Ressler has dialogue in just the sub plot. That means any actor can take over this role. He’s the lead male hero, yet has no characterization beyond plot since the Director. And until a true 180 flip happens, you’ll see this for the rest of the season.]

Yeah, of course. Whatever I can do to help. You've seen the images of the people who died last night? Yeah, like I told them, two of the guys, they've worked here for about a year. The other guys I've never seen. And this man, have you seen him before? No idea. Hey, if it wasn't drugs, what do you think they were doing? We're going to need to see the footage from these cameras. I wish. The cops had me check first thing. Looks like they turned off the whole system right around 9:00. You need to see this. Excuse us. Thank you. You got something? Nothing good. Whoever ran this place had it wiped down before they ran. Between that and the fire, they wasn't much left. We found shavings from some kind of titanium alloy, and this. It's definitely an integrated circuit timing chip, but I haven't seen one quite like this before. Timing chip, that's used in-- Everything from traffic lights to railway switches—To bombs. [ Indistinct conversations ]

What's up with Aram? [I cannot recall who said what I lost patience with Cooper. Its pointless even Liz had no scenes with Aram. Doesn’t she care? Nope! I mean this is what a rush job looks like count the holes. Yeah I went there. I don’t care. This script is the equivalent of turning in your unfinished homework assignment, and praying you don’t get an F. the subplot is fine. It’s the main plot that is horrible. ]

I don't know, but he said it was urgent.

Is this about the deposition?

Uh, no, actually, this is about a different nightmare scenario. I've been running diagnostics on the timer chip you recovered from Arkani's factory, and it is far more impressive than anything we've seen from the NMB or any extremist group for that matter. In fact, it is as good as anything the United States can make because... we did make it. Good Lord. More specifically, the defense contractor Blackthorn Kincaid made it. Well, they make everything from our own ICBMs to Israel's Iron Dome. So how'd Arkani get it? Our national security threat just became a national security leak.

Cooper: Get to Blackthorn. Tell them we expect full cooperation. Aram, let's move. The deposition starts at 2:00. [Oh yes Gratuitous rewrite Liz scene. ] Panabaker's gonna be at the deposition. I'm gonna push her to get you reinstated as an agent.

[This is what we call OUT OF THE BLUE STORYTELLING.]

Liz: That would be... amazing. But do you think that's even possible? [This is probably the worst reaction to a life changing moment I’ve ever seen. Megan is officially phoning it in.]

Cooper: [This dialogue just sickened me.] After all you've been through and all you've done,

[Never mind the task force. After they did for her. After all they’d done. She is the antagonist to Red and the task force now. ]

Cooper: I think it's crazy they haven't done it already. {Yeah this scene told me enough and I pretty much lost interest. This is all plot driven garbage so the show can redirect after wasting a year on a failed story. Like ISHTAR and Howard the DUCK!.]

I resent any implication that we would be less than forthcoming. Your classified technology was found in a facility being run by a known terrorist. Now someone in your position might be inclined to close ranks. Well, that won't happen. Everyone here has dedicated his or her life to protecting the American people. Tell us about the timing chip. It was manufactured within the last four months as part of a surface-to-air missile teleguidance system. Can you tell us who manufactured it? Specifically which employees? Well, a chip like that would travel across several of our divisions. We're talking 60, maybe 80 people. We're gonna need to see a list. Of course, but maybe we could suggest a more targeted approach. James Maddox. At one time, he was one of our best programmers. Was? He had a drinking problem along with anger issues. We tried to help, but, uh, in the end, we-- we had to part ways. [You got this line in the script regarding a potential sub plot character as a drunk and Red setting up an alcoholic. That’s a mistake. It means two stories were not written together and remain separate. ] Given what we perceived to be financial problems, he might be a person of interest. He had access to the chip? Yes. I knew Jim. I find it hard to believe that he would betray his country. 

[Original story. This doesn’t pertain to Samar because she did not betray her country, She is NOT A TRAITOR. WHO Told secrets to the CUBANS that US kept one of their traitors a mercenary? You see? Dialogue doesn’t lie only show runners. This is why this episode is anti climatic. The Red getting Liz pardon filled in the gaping hole.] Well, we'll get on that right away. In the meantime, we're gonna need to see that list. Patch: Just make some calls. Yeah. [ Dialing ] [ Dog barking ] All right, I'm gonna check the pier.

RED: {I literally skipped the above. Sorry its filler.] Wendy, dear, your ears must be burning. Dembe and I were just talking about you. [No introduction from Red plot she calls him. No lead in just cut to:]

Yeah? You figure out how I'm-a get my 13-year-old to soccer at the same time as Liam's piano lesson?

How are the boys?

Another day in paradise. Leo took up the baritone, the Supernovas won the regional championship, and Lionel started dating some college freshman with a nipple ring.

 Almost enough to make a woman hope Larry gets early parole.[Filler.]

 Mnh, not on your life, sugar. Let him rot. The boys are happy, I'm happy.

 To what do I owe the pleasure, my love?

 I got word that you're looking for the 411 on the New Martyrs Brigade.

 You got something?

 A little chatter. You know I'm always tracking the buzz on who's moving what and where. I hear the NMB's America bound. [Show is testing out a new asset for Red besides Glenn, Dembe, Brimley, and now Kaplan is gone. They have not finished writing her story arc. Back nine. Pathetic huh?]

Red: How many?

Wendy: I'm hearing six. Coming in scattershot.

Red: Their papers will be flawless. Who's running it? Al-Hambri?

 Wendy: Ha! You wish. They sent Farook.

Welcome back to the United States. You have a nice day now.

 Thank you, my love. You're like a human divining rod. You always know just where to look and just what to look for. Oh, and for what it's worth, I dropped a little extra something in the mail this month. Thought it might help with the orthodontist bills.

You wanna help? Come and fold some laundry. [ Dog retches ] I gotta go. Lazy Bones just barfed in the kitchen.

 [ Phone beeps ] James Maddox-- born August 1970. I don't know. What do you think? Does this look like the face of a traitor to you? Anybody's capable of anything. You know that. 

Yeah, well, there's a special level in hell for people who provided arms to terrorists. [Samar did that? No. One guess who Eisendrath had originally lined up to do such a thing.]  Heads up. James Maddox? Move! [ Tires screech ] FBI. FBI? [ Handcuffs click ]

Yeah. Yeah, I understand.

Uh, that was Agent Keen. [Oh really? Did you see her? Now Aram can say she's Agent Keen yet Harold balked at it? Plot driven garbage again both stories like in 323 DO NOT BLEND. Filler dialogue. Rewrite.] 

Mr. Reddington says NMB leadership sent six operatives to reclaim that bomb or, um, uh, whatever it is they lost at that factory. [ Door opens ] [Of course it does. SMDH.]

 It's time.

 Does Reddington have a name?

 Oh, yeah, one. Farook Al-Thani.

Agent Mojtabi, walk us through this again. Tell us exactly how you met Elise Nickerson. 

[YES WRITERS TELL US NOT SHOW. She just showed up NAked in Aram’s apartment to squash the traitor story. then they realized, oops, we wrote further into that. Let’s redirect it. Uh oh. Writers room war. Sabotage to the “character with a moral heart so that “he owes” Tom. Yeah hell no.]

 Aram: Okay, I was at the gym, and she had been waiting for a friend and asked to borrow my phone. [Pointless dialogue. None of this advances story. None of this advances Aram’s character. Its plot.] Uh, she said hers was lost. And then, you know, one thing led to another and...

And the next thing you knew, she was using your personal laptop to access classified data. Well, when you put it like that-- You expect us to believe you knew nothing about this?

 Aram: Yes, because I didn't. I love this country. I take my job very, very seriously. If I'm guilty of anything, it's-- it-- I have bad taste in women. A sort of blindness to-- Shauna Boyd was a kleptomaniac. Julia Hernandez was legally married. April Roderhorst had a little bit of a secret p0rn addiction. Um, that's a funny story, actually.

This is a deposition, not a memoir. [Eisendrath thinks this is amusing???]

 Let's keep the focus on how your computer was used to breach national security.

Yes, ma'am. [ Chair scraping ]

As-salamu alaykum. Farook. We didn't know our location was exposed. I had no idea an attack was coming. Yes. That's the problem. Look, I'm handling it. I'll find them. I... I have security camera footage from the attack. I convinced the police there wasn't any. Look, I know they sent you to warn me. Just... tell them, warning received. They didn't send me to warn you. They sent me to replace you. [ Gunshot ] [ Shell casing clatters ] It's Farook.

We need to talk.

Mmm. He's here.

I'm not here. [ Laughs ]

This meeting never took place. [now this we keep hearing in the original arc. Oh yes TWEAKING. What did Ressler say to Tom when he gave him the stupid Russian lead? “For what? This never happened. Before that Ressler touted, “I could go to jail...” and the Keens went....”Yeah um pops bubble gum so you think like you could hep us anyway Ressler? we need people to support us and even though in truth, you wouldn't trust me for lying and betraying everyone, your mine and tom’s lapdog now. ] 

And you will never be in the same room with the President-elect. [ Utensil clatters ] [Never say never in a storyline it means the exact opposite. the way we avoid the Never say never charge is using the word NOT. Blacklist however violated that rule last season.]

Red: You really should try Ginny's Cheeseburger Chowder. The ground chuck and spices, the melted cheese. I highly recommend it for the inaugural balls. [Proof the fish line is all they could muster to keep Red tied to the sub plot. They literally are using Spader.]

If you think you can maintain your immunity agreement by blackmailing the President-elect for allegedly taking illegal campaign contributions from Alexander Kirk, you're not as smart as everyone says you are. [Maintain your immunity agreement. A man without a country. Red will be going bye bye. unless they rewrite it the next day.]

Marlin, your boss made a campaign promise to me, and I intend to make sure he keeps it. [ Taps tabletop ] Tell Robert I'll be in touch. [ Typing ]

 How was the deposition?

 Terrifying.

 I'm sure you were great. [ Scoffs ]

 Aram: In your eyes. In theirs, I look a lot like this guy. Yusuf Tillisi? 

Mr. Reddington said [No Mr. Reddington did not we didn’t see it therefore it doesn’t exist and isn’t crucial to main plot.] six NMB members were dispatched to the US in the last 24 hours. He gave us one name, [BUT WE DON”T SEE RED SPEAKING DO WE?] but not the other five. Do you have any idea how many people fly into the country every day? So I had to customize an algorithm to search for-- Five needles in a huge haystack. 

What makes you think Tillisi is one?

Well, he's the right age. He works for a Middle Eastern trade organization that I'm not sure actually exists. He lives in Lebanon, but flew into Libya last month, and I am not seeing a return ticket out. Thing is, he flew into JFK almost 72 hours ago, so that doesn't fit Mr. Reddington's intel. He's probably legit, but it's probably worth tracking him down, verifying his reason for being in the country. Let me do it. Based on the places he flew, I have channels that might be a bit more comprehensive. You're going to be cleared. And when you are, we will celebrate. [Foreshadowing. However, There’s nothing in the dialogue to support eventually. Once again the writers prefer no happiness just plot driven gloom and doom.]

Our people know the penalty for disloyalty. I don't think you gave it to them. I think you sold it to them. Look, tell me the truth now, and maybe I can still help you. Too late. [Plot driven dialogue.] [ Sighs ] Mr. Maddox, we just executed a search warrant at your apartment and found a bank passbook hidden in a bathroom vent traceable to an account in Madrid. That's a lie. Oh. And we also found a burner phone taped underneath your kitchen table, one with a string of international calls-- to Libya. Okay, what the hell's going on? I'm being framed. I swear, none of that is mine. [ Door closes ] [Drop in] What are you doing here? I heard the FBI-- That is under control. I need your assistance. No. No, no, no, forget it. I knew it was a mistake letting you talk me into configuring that chip. A $200,000 mistake. Look, like it or not, we are in this together. If I go down, we both go down. What do you need me to do? This is the, uh, surveillance footage from last night's attack. I want you to run the facial tomography software on the attackers. If they had masks, it's gonna take a minute. Can you just do it? [ Door opens, closes ]

[Of course. how did I know this. DROP IN]

 Forget it, Keen. I know that look. Don't tell me you believe him. [There was zero partnership in the interrogation room. ]

Liz: Something's off. It's just a read, but his denial seems genuine. I might take that bet. [Now this would’ve been good CHARACTER filler. Ressler bets Liz but did they do it? No. Zero human emotion displayed in the war room and no follow up. Because plot driven has no bearing to the back nine. Wasted opportunity.] Blackthorn called. Another programmer came forward. Says he saw Maddox handling that timer chip a month ago, just before it dropped out of inventory. What about an eyewitness, Keen? Does that change your mind?

Take Navabi and get a statement. Where is Agent Navabi? ♪ [ Keypad beeps ] Ezra. We've got a problem. One of my colleagues at the Bureau flagged Ezra. What does he know? Nothing yet. I volunteered to verify that he's in the country for a legitimate reason. Defending our homeland from extremist savages? Doesn't get more legitimate than that. [Yes according to the Blacklist Samar and Mossad are our greatest Enemy. See how STUPID this rewrite is? They can't even promote their show honestly.] Mossad carried out a black op on American soil. If the FBI finds out about it, it will be an international incident. [But its not TREASON. We are not at war with Israel. This does not fit the original story at all. Samar is defending Israel I don’t know of ONE American in office that goes against Israel. Do you? Horrible. They did it again. Originally Ressler’s storyline this time they give it to Samar. First Aram then Samar. Unbelievable. So Eisendrath STILL has no storyline for Ressler except that he could go to jail, and Tom owes him.]

Where's the system? It's here. Safe. For now. Reddington says [Again DID YOU SEE IT?] the NMB sent Farook with a team to get it back. You need to take the system and go. You all need to leave the country. What about you? I will do what I can to keep the Bureau's attention elsewhere. Besides, I don't think Alma would appreciate me tagging along. Alma? Yesterday's news. You're-- you're right. Better get moving. Be safe. [ Door opens, closes ] You did it? Wasn't easy. Most of the footage was too remote. But I did find an image that was close enough to scan. Our program creates a computed tomography map, which I had to convert into a 3-D image. [ Typing ] Based on the data, we got a 96% match. My God. Do you know her? She's FBI. [ Typing ] According to our profile, she's Mossad.[Yeah not ISIS. This is so stupid.] Mr. Deavers. Tell me you found our system. Not yet. But don't worry, Farook. I know just where to look. You can't do this. I wasn't driving recklessly, and my navigation system will prove that I wasn't speeding. What's your name, anyway? Hey, are you listening to me? You're about to make a very big mistake. Pick up the phone and call my-- [ Car door closes ] [ Huffs ] [ Car door opens ] [ Groans ] Oh, boy. [ Clears throat ] Isn't this a sticky wicket?

You son of a bitch. 

As I mentioned, Senator Diaz made a campaign promise that I intend to hold him to. 

You what, uh, bribe them? [establishing character. As if audience never saw season one.]

I've been known to make the occasional charitable contribution. In exchange, my back is scratched by the good men in blue. Yours, not so much. You blew a .12. I what? Blood alcohol content. Next time, call a cab. 

[ Laughs ] Are you out of your mind? I've been sober for 12 years. 

Which is what makes your relapse that much more tragic. 

The President can't have a dipsomaniac serving as legal counsel. Happily, there is a way to avoid the drunk tank. 

The inauguration is in two weeks. How the hell do you expect me to get you a private meeting? I have no idea. Let's hope you're smarter than everyone says you are, Marlin. Marlin-- that's not a very common name. I knew a Marlin when I was young. Marlin Trout. One boy, two fish names. Funny. Set the meeting, Marlin. [ Door thuds ] [Drop in Scene.]

[ANOTHER DROP IN SCENE] I got your text. What's up? 

We're rolling out. Gotta take a witness statement. Someone from Blackthorn? A programmer who claims he saw Maddox with the timer chip. A month ago, but for some reason didn't bother coming forward until after the company had already served up Maddox on a silver platter. 

I'm telling you, something's off about this. There's only one way to find out. Will you give me a second?

Cooper: I spoke with Panabaker about your reinstatement. [Did you see that scene? Exactly. ] She said there's nothing she can do.[LIAR. Seriously I LOATHE PLOT FORMAT.]  

Liz: No remorse or act of contrition. I specifically tweeted Bokenkamp this last night. He's got to know his heroine is bordering the point of no return here.] 

Nothing she can do now or ever? Sir, what'd she say? [They are Telling not showing.]

She said the Attorney General would need to okay your reinstatement. Since you pled guilty to killing his predecessor, that's... not going to happen. I'm so sorry. [But Liz takes no responsibility. No remorse. Just pouting poor me, I am the victim I am the one who pays no one else. I am so sick of this.]  Yeah, so am I. 

Hey, I ran down Yusuf Tillisi. The trade company he works for, it's real. The CEO put me in touch with him directly. He's here for a few meetings then flies out at the end of the week. I'm sorry, but he checks out. Mr. Cooper got word from Main Justice. I am officially... not a person of interest.[BUT YOU NEVER SEE COOPER GIVE HIM THE NEWS. PLOT DROP IN SCENE] 

Samar: That's great news. 

Um... Yeah, right? Um... Hey, I've never been so relieved to be told I am not interesting. Uh, I thought we could, um, could maybe celebrate over... dinner. 

Samar: It's a date. You pick. And make it somewhere amazing. [ Knock on door ] DROP IN!

Mr. Atwell? FBI. Agent Ressler, this is Agent Navabi.

That was fast. [HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHEN WRITERS HATE REWRITING DROP IN SCENES.] We understand you have information regarding a James Maddox and a theft at Blackthorn Kincaid. Uh, yes, please come in. I'd prefer the neighbors didn't know anything about this. Is everything okay, Mr. Atwell?

Agent Ressler.

 We were set up. There was no witness. It was an ambush. [IT WAS A REWRITE.] They were inside the house. The NMB took Samar. [Samar plans this raid but Ressler never gets the opportunity to lash out? Yeah this is a bad rewrite and id expect more drop in scenes up until redemption airs. This show officially blows.]

The NMB?

Look, they wanted to kill me and abduct her. That makes no sense. Why would the NMB single out Agent Navabi? They're in a black SUV, no rear plate, shattered rear window. All right, sending an alert to local law enforcement now, rolling all backup units to your location.

Liz: [Her gratuitous scene for the arc to give her some fake contact with Daddy.] Reddington, we need your help. Samar's been abducted. The NMB just took her. Slow down. I'm putting you on a speaker. [ Beep ] [Meaning no scenes with James. Pure rewrite.]

We're sending you everything, all the search results for possible NMB members coming into the country, all the flights and profiles we've ruled out. Maybe we missed something. Have you identified anyone other than Farook?

No. My program's vetted tens of thousands of possible candidates but only one real suspect so far, and Agent Navabi cleared him.

Who?

His name is Yusuf Tillisi. His photo was part of the file we just sent you. But Samar spoke to him-- said it was nothing.

Yusuf Tillisi isn't a terrorist. He also isn't Yusuf Tillisi. His real name is Ezra Mandell, an operative for the Mossad. Samar knows him. She's worked with him. [BUT SAMAR IS A TRAITOR RIGHT? SMDH]

Why would she lie about that?

To protect her fellow countrymen. To prevent you from linking the Mossad to the attack on Arkani's operation.

A Mossad strike team was operating here? Without permission? [THIS IS NOT A TRAITOR this is a BAD SCRIPT! This show cannot make up their minds.]

At least we know why the NMB took her. The question is where and how long they'll keep her alive.

 Tell me where the system is.

 Save yourself an immense amount of pain.

 I'm good.

 I can't remember a time when I wasn't fighting Israel. As a boy in Gaza, I threw rocks at soldiers. As I grew, so did the weapons. The rocks became guns, the guns became rockets. For me, life is war. And that war changed with the creation of the Iron Dome, the most advanced missile defense system in history. Over 1,200 of our rockets were intercepted. [So Mossad is America’s Greatest enemy? Nice work Blacklist. You step in it every chance you get. Unfair to rookie writers having to clean up your garbage because you cannot decide on story direction.]

The NMB realized that the best way to defeat a superior technology is to turn an engineering designer. James Maddox. Mr. Maddox was just convenient. The NMB's money bought them someone much higher up the food chain. I promised them a teleguidance system capable of getting past the Iron Dome. After six months of work, I do not intend to start over. So... where is it? Don't make me ask again. We're all set. There's a Hawker 900 on the tarmac at BWI. Take the system. Use one of those SKB cases. Put this in the car. [ Door thuds open ] [SO MANY DROP IN SCENES RIGHT?]

FBI! Hands in the air now! Levi Shur. You don't call, you don't write.

How'd you find us? [PLOT PLOT PLOT]

Mossad opened this safe house with the Bureau's assistance. I know because our agencies share intel. At least I thought they did. [He knows because its in the script. Audience never experiences any of this so there’s a build up. NO SUSPENSE] The NMB has Samar. We know you hit Arkani's factories, and so do they. How? I don't know, but she was taken by Farook Al-Thani almost an hour ago.

She-- She lied to us. Tried to protect you when she found out Mossad was behind the raid.

I don't know what you're talking about. No?

 No. Samar didn't find out about the raid. Samar planned the raid. [ Grunts ] [And no fall out. Only with Cooper. WHOLE THING IN ONE SETTING. NO Fall out with Ressler [You're a fine Agent Navabi.] 

 Enough. We need to escalate this. [ Laughs ] What the hell is so funny?

She won't talk. We're both the same. Both true believers willing to die for what we love. Farook, we may have something. There's an entry for someone only under the letter "L." The number's on the list we have for possible Mossad operatives. Call it. Now hang on, if it's the Mossad, they might be able to trace the call back. There's no strategic reason to contact them. Unless they are willing to trade their agent for our system.

That wasn't the plan. She's seen my face. She can't be traded for anything, understand? She's never leaving this room.

You are not my concern.

 We had a deal. I'm not signing off on this. Then it seems you are the one never leaving this room. [ Gunshot, shell casing clatters ] [ Body thuds ] What about the CIA? Homeland? Nobody in your government has intel as to where they may have taken her? What about Mossad? You guys know Arkani's building a bomb, but you don't know whether he's got a safe house nearby? No. [ Sighs ] And it's not a bomb. It's a missile guidance system designed to defeat the Iron Dome. In the wrong hands, it could jeopardize the lives of thousands. 

Then I'll feel better when it's in my hands. Get it. Fine. Take it. All I care about is finding Samar.  She's an operative, Levi. She knew the risks. I'm not letting her die. You said it yourself-- the wrong step now could jeopardize the lives of thousands of innocent civilians. Hey, neither of you is gonna do anything. This is an FBI matter now. Are we clear? I'm still going to that park. [ Cellphone ringing ] Get him back here. Now. [ Beep ] Cooper: Agent Ressler, no word on Agent Navabi. You have the system? Yeah, we have it right here. But look-- Levi! 

I've got him. Do I stop him? It's our careers if this goes wrong, but... No, let him make the drop. Just make damn sure that system doesn't get out of the park. This goes nowhere until Samar is brought here. [ Computer beeping ] It's been authenticated. Where is she? [ Tires squeal ] That's her. That's her! Uh, South Drive. All units move in. Stop that van! Ressler, move your team in now. Hands! Hands where I can see 'em. [ Drone whirring ] Bring it down! [ Whirring continues ] I'm not the one controlling it. [ Gunfire ] Cover him! [ Gunfire ] [ Sirens wailing ] Aram, I lost visual. What do you got? Nothing. It just-- it disappeared. Well, whoever was controlling it had line of sight to this park. Cooper: Somebody saw it. We're monitoring for reports or complaints. Oh, oh, I got one. I got one. Reports of someone flying a drone from the roof of the Mazelon Hostel. All right, the address-- I got it. Call in security! Aram. I gather we have a picture of Farook. I might have him leaving the hostel on 92nd. On the ground! On the ground! Move.[AND THAT IS DIEGO’s BIG SCENE SINCE EPISODE 401. AND PPL DONT THINK EISENDRATH ISN”T TRYING TO WRITE RESSLER INTO A CORNER?] We're ready for you this time, Jonathan. Been working on my Paso Doble. [ Chuckles ] Fred Astaire, look out! Bobby's lost six pounds. Ah, now, two million people may watch the inauguration, but the dance floor's all Miriam cares about. And my girl and I are gonna tear it up. Uh, sir, sir. Huh? Huh? [ Laughs ] What's wrong with him? Sir, there's a... situation. I'm so sorry. I would've told you about it earlier, but-- 

There you are. Dance lessons. What fun! What the hell is he doing here? Oh, my God. You're-- Just hoping the jackals and mongers will give you the time and space you need to settle in before they start feasting at your doorstep. What the hell are you doing here? Robert, I know your dance card is full, but we have an appointment that I must insist you keep. The mustache is an interesting choice, sort of a Grover Cleveland look, I suppose. Marlin, call security. No, just... give us a moment. You and I are even. Not quite. The hell we're not. I halted my presidential campaign and launched a Senate hearing into Alexander Kirk's links to terrorism. [WHY DIDN’T RED JUST BLACKMAIL THE CURRENT PRESIDENT? USUALLY ITS THE OUTGOING PREZ WHO PARDONS NOT THE INCOMING. BUT THIS IS PLOT PLOT PLOT.] And in exchange, you received a generous donation and an appreciable bump in the polls, and now look what's happened. Robert, the man you're replacing as the leader of the free world has a legacy he'll want you to help burnish by keeping certain people and policies in place. He'll want favors. To get them, this is one of the things he'll have to do for you. [SO THIS FAR FETCHED MONSTROSITY IS FOR RED TO HAVE DIAZ BLACKMAIL THE CURRENT PRESIDENT. NOT RED. YEAH. OK.] This is over. You and I are done. Then perhaps I should speak to Miriam. I'm sure she's dying to know what kind of business you and I have been conducting. It's up to you, Robert. Would you prefer to be in the White House or the doghouse? [WEAK ARGUMENT. THEYRE EMASCULATING RED.] Robert? [ Early Winters' "Vanishing Act" playing ] [ Radio chatter ] You put our country at risk to get me back. I don't know whether to hit you or hug you. [ Chuckles ] Well, you know what Ezra said about Alma-- I broke off our engagement. I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. Be happy. ♪ and insatiable ♪ ♪ video game ♪ Cooper: 

COOPER [WITH THE REDIRECT. A PLOT DRIVEN MESS TO FIT THE NEXT EPISODE. KEEN AS AN AGENT WITHOUT ANY BUILD UP EXCEPT NAVABI NOW THE ONE NOBODY TRUSTS? I HATE THIS SHOW.] You obstructed our investigation, put lives at risk, lied to us. 

Yes, to protect my country. 

Your country? While you're on this task force, the country you're protecting is the United States. 

And today, I protected both. Almost died in the process. ♪ where do you go to... ♪ 

You need to think about where your allegiance lies. 

No, I don't. 

Fine. You're clear about that. Let me be clear about this-- You can't lie to me. You can't operate without my authority, ever. I feel I've earned your trust and respect. Now go home, get some rest, and think about whether you agree with that. If you do, I'll see you in the morning. If not, I won't. 

[IN TRUTH SHE’D BE FIRED. SHES NOT A TRAITOR. SHES NOT THE MORON. SHES NOT REALLY A MOLE. THIS IS AN ANTICLIMATIC REWRITE LIKE 322 AND 323. AND EPISODE 0405-06 ♪] 

He's right. You should, uh, get some rest. Dinner can wait. 

You sure?

 Totally. 

Thank you for the rain check. 

Actually, uh... I don't, uh, want a rain check. I mean... I do. Obviously, I do, but... I don't. [THIS SCENE HAS NO PURPOSE. NONE. THE DIALOGUE ISNT NECESSARY. A BETTER BUILD UP WOULDVE BEEN ARAM JUST FREEZING HER OUT, AND THE THAW TAKES SHAPE. THIS IS LIKE PULLING TEETH.]

You know how I told you that deposition was terrifying? Yeah, 

it was worse than terrifying. It was... embarrassing. There I was on the record, testifying to what horrible taste I have in women, my, uh, habit of falling for people who aren't what they appear to be, what I make them out to be. What happened with Elise was kind of soul crushing. [SHE WAS IN TWO EPISODES. ARE U EFFING KIDDING ME] To find out that the person that you love... ♪ say we were abducted... ♪ ...the person that you can see yourself marrying and having a family with and-- and growing old with, to find out that... 

Is a spy. Someone whose allegiances you can't trust. [YOU CANT TRUST ISRAEL? THIS SHOW IS JUST...SMDH] 

I can't be with a person like that. [SO PUT HER WITH LEVI THEN. BECAUSE IF ARAM CAN FORGIVE LIZ AFTER LYING TO HIM AND FAKING HER DEATH BUT HE CANT TRUST SAMAR WHO IS DEFENDING ISRAEL AND THE IRON DOME, THEN HEY! ARAM IS NOT WORTH IT. PLOT DRIVEN FORMAT ALWAYS FUCKS UP CHARACTERS FOR THE WORST. ITS AMATEUR AND INSULTING.]  vanishing act ♪ 

TOM: I thought Panabaker told Cooper you'd never be reinstated.[ Rewrite was set up so Tom coul pontificate on his dad to set up his redemption arc on blacklist,[not even dick wolf does this.] Liz could get her pardon, SAMAR takes the fall in EISENDRATH’S SCRAPPED ARC TO REDIRECT THE TRAITOR STORYLINE.] 

She did, why? Woman: ...precedent for commuting sentences in the final hours of an administration. But the full presidential pardon of Elizabeth Keen for the murder of Attorney General Tom Connolly is certainly the most surprising in recent memory... 

LIZ: [This dialogue is NOT necessary. none of it. the best scene if this were written by a writer who cared? it would go off with Liz’ reaction. not a hug fro Tom. Liz soul searching or looking back at her FBI cases, something to show she's longed for this. Like Knauf did in Gregory Devry. Liz moving into her new apartment. Liz looking at her FBI pic She wasn’t thinking about Tom. She was focused on herself. This? Does none of that. Its just a storyline plopped in OUT OF THE BLUE that was planned to get them out of ratings hell.] 

Did she just say... You've been pardoned. Oh, my God. Liz, you've been pardoned. [ Gasps ] [ Laughs ] [ Gasps ]...continue to speculate on what was behind the President's controversial decision to pardon Elizabeth Keen. The White House issued a statement that the President will not be commenting.

Hey. 

Hey.

 Look, I was thinking about what you told me. Well, like I said, I hope you're happy about it. 

There's someone else. I've been waiting a long time for this, for us, for you. But... I am in love with someone else. ♪ and if we can stop a restless night ♪ I

Liz: [THANK YOU FOR TELLING US LIZ! WE DIDN’T KNOW. COULDN’T TELL BY YOUR STUPID REACTION IN THE FAKE APARTMENT OR THE LACK OF EMOTION OR REMORSE OR REGRET. MILES AWAY FROM WHERE THIS HEROINE USED TO BE. SHE GETS A SECOND CHANCE AND STILL DOESN’T APPRECIATE IT.] it was Reddington. He got the President of the United States to pardon me. How does he do that? 

[Horrible dialogue. THIS IS WHAT YOU WRITE:

Liz: I never thought this would happen. How did you...” [And by the way this is still a drop in scene even though you don’t see Liz going through the door or leaving. one dimensional sets to rewrite story. done in soaps all the damn time.]

COOPER: “It was Reddington.”

Liz: [Tears appears brave.] “I can’t describe how I feel except. Im so angry with my self.Truth is, I don’t deserve it. I’ve hurt so many people I love. Even Reddington.”

Cooper: “You’ve been given a second chance. One most people never get in a lifetime. Use it wisely. [ Drawer opens ] I'm just glad I can finally say... it's good to have you back, Agent Keen. ♪

Then you hold on her face and split screen with Red’s. but they don’t a shyt about this story. If they did, they'd write decent filler, and stop the egos. Four writers on ONE script and this is the result. Editing is bad. Dialogue choice is bad. Concept of the procedural is good but main plot does not match rest of theme, and that is a no no. “we’ll fix it later...” Meanwhile 12 months later....since The Director....]

  Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdr

#thewritersadvocate #theblacklist #breakdown #LipetsSeafood

[greensungnostic]

(Grand)father's day

Well, it's Sunday. You promised the old man you'd come for a visit, have a special little father's day with him. It'll be nice, spending time with him outside of his study. You start things off by shuffling sleepily down to the kitchen, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you start up the stove. In a cast iron skillet, you lay down a few slices of thick bacon, a few rolls of sausage, and once they're starting to sizzle and fill the pan with a cheerfully popping sizzle, you crack a few eggs in the to fry in the fat. Next you add some tomato, a few mushrooms, and a strip of black pudding all together, two servings sizzling merrily away in the large pan. You pop a few slices of bread in the toaster, put on a pot of beans to cook, then put the kettle on while you wait for it all to cook up. A Full English Breakfast, his favourite. Once it's all nice and ready, you butter the toast, cut it into triangles, and plate everything up. With a newspaper tucked under your arm, you gather the pair of plates up, floating your teacups along behind you with your powers. You ascend to the second floor on foot, lightly tapping at it with your toeclaws to announce your presence. You call through the door -

grandpa! its fathers day! i brought you your favourite! breakfast in the study!

You finagle his doorknob with your hands full, using your elbow to twist it just enough to pop the latch and enter into the dim, musty room once more. He's here of course, staring long and thoughtful into the fireplace once more, which flares into life when you approach. He never seems to get tired of that trick! You set the plates down at the desk, pulling up the stiff side chair to face it.

oh come on i know you are busy but it is your fathers day breakfast, at least come over here!

He makes no moves from his firewatching vigil, so you roll your eyes and push him over there directly, leaving him standing behind his desk, looking at the pleasant tendrils of fragrant steam rising from his plate. He doesn't sit - never has been one to sit for anything but the fanciest meals. But you do sit, tucking into the hearty meal with a soft smile on your face. You don't go to the trouble of a Full English very often, but it is good. You can see why it's his favourite. He doesn't seem very hungry - he scarcely seems to want to touch it - but you can tell from the twinkle in his eye that he appreciates it all the same.

are you gonna finish that bacon and sausage? no? okay thank you grandpa! hehehe, i know, you dont want to mess up your mustache. it looks very nice today! so sharp, so smart!

You snag his uneaten meats, munching them up, as well as one of his little mushrooms. While you eat, you figure he'd like to hear any new news. You were just here the other day so there's not a ton new, but you can touch on it all the same. It's sweet of him to take interest in his granddaughter's life, after all! You look up at the old man in his Stout Dignity, offering a small smile while you speak.

hmm? no nothing super exciting has happened this week, honestly. just did some more gardening and stuff, you know i love to do that! yes grandpa i make sure im armed. no i dont think every earthworm has a chance to grow - yes i read dune, those dont actually exist or if they do the worms in my soil are not precursors to sandworms!! pffft!

How silly of him, to even think that your garden worms could become shai-hulud.

other than that, ive mostly just been playing this game with some friends! no like an online one! it is called mine craft and it has you... well, mine ores and craft things out of them! theres lots of adventure, monsters to fight, and more! yes im well armed ive got a magic bow and sword! i might be one of the better strife combatants on the server honestly. i run around on a horse named hubble, exploring for resources and building tunnels and quarries and supplying people with stuff! its really fun, id only ever played it alone before recently. you might not like it though, theres no guns! just bows and crossbows. maybe some could be modded in though! or shoot fireworks at people!

He seems interested, though a dourness seems to befall him when he hears there's no firearms. Maybe it's not a good idea, he'd probably kill all the cute non dog animals. At least he seems tickled by your horse's name. Always naming things for scientists, it's the Harley way. You put your fork and knife down, stacking his half full plate atop your empty one to do away with them both - a quick zap of dishes into the sink. You down your tea, then do the same with the cup. You rise up, looking up at the towering old gentleman.

so tonight is a werewolf night so i dont have aaaaalll night unless you really wanna see me go full furry and cavort around like a loon, but i thought you might want to spend some time together outside today? i set up a little shooting range so i can show you my marksmanship! wanna go see how im doing? im on my sixth prestige level on riflekind so you could say im pretty good!

Grandpa doesn't seem averse to the idea. He always wants to make sure you're well armed, well prepared, so showing your prowess is likely to be a good activity! You loop your arms around one of his, green lightning dancing around the two of you before the scene suddenly shifts to a spot outside in the fields. The fruits of your gardening labour, both figurative and literal, sprawl out in all directions to the edges of the ship. The Breeze ruffles through your hair and the looser bits of Grandpa's expeditionary outfit, the smell of flowers and vegetation in the air. Dotted here and there, you've set up little dummy copies of monsters - a papier mâché ogre here, a clay swarm of imps, little rudimentary robotic underlings bobbing and weaving as targets. You can tell Grandpa is surveying the targets, his grip on the Blunderbuss tight. But they're not his to destroy, they're yours. You draw out a stopwatch, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. It's quite a stressor, showing off your skills to your Grandfather. Okay, you're ready. You click the starter....

Strife.

Your spring into action, your GIRL’S BEST FRIEND deploying from within your specibus and into your hands. You fire a volley of pinpoint-accurate shots into a swath of imps, each one perfectly removing the heads in a spray of fine dust. You YOUTHROLL as if avoiding a barrage of attacks, stopping on a knee to switch to the GREEN SUN STREETSWEEPER and eviscerate a mechanical lich. You swap through your rifles one by one, blasting apart the targets you've set up, each shot dead in the middle of the bullseyes painted on them. You slide, you run up a tree and jump off to shoot upside down in midair, you rifle butt a basilisk. For a grand finale you light the papier mâché ogre ablaze with a green sun flamethrower to soften it up, then swap to your LITTLE BUSTER guitar-rifle to first ventilate it, then pummel it into cinders with the base of the instrument. You let out a little cheer and stop the stopwatch, dancing on the spot in celebration. You check the timer. 1:34.62. Just over a minute and a half, not bad. You bound back over to Grandpa, a big grin and a light sheen of sweat on your face. You gesture out over the dust of your destruction, other small bots already scurrying out to collect the destroyed targets, the spent casings.

voila!! howd i do grandpa?? not a bad time for all those baddies, if i do say so myself! do you like the bass guitar? it shoots .45s and also grenades from the headstock and its good for bashing with too! it dual-classes as an axekind weapon too, haha... i converted it from a regular old classic rickenbacker myself!

You hold up the LITTLE BUSTER for his perusal. He looks on with what feels like an air of appraisal, as if inspecting your craftsmanship. You stay quiet for a long moment to just let him see, before he seems satisfied. A glint of approval, what might be interpreted as a smile behind your grandfather's dense moustache. He's never been good at praise, but you can tell he's proud.

haha, thank you for coming out and watching, grampa. it means a lot to get to show you that, and all this too! do you like how the gardenship looks? ive been up to my eyebrows in dirt making it all cute! look over there, you can see rip van maple, just growing and growing! technically its only a few years old but the growth acceleration puts it at like three hundred!

You spend the next hour or so pointing out nearby points of interest, talking about the care and maintenance and upkeep of your garden, your robots, even the dogs. As if conjured by the utterance of his name, Becquerel appears, curling up at his master's feet like he's prone to. You scratch between your direwolf sized hound's ears and sit down against him, still quietly talking to grandpa.

so how has work been going in there, grandpa? oh, right i know, business trade secrets, cant discuss them! still i hope you are not working too hard in there. you always seem so lost in thought... maybe looking out the window once in a while instead of into the fireplace would give a fresh perspective! shhh i know it is the favorite spot but still! you might even see me running around from in there, haha...

You sigh, looking up at the imposing figure above you. The wind rustles his mustache, and he stalwartly gazes off into the middle difference. Maybe, he seems to think. Maybe he'll try it out. You can tell he must be getting tired though, time to get back to work. You lightly grasp his shirt hem, and Bec returns all three of you to the study. This time his perch does seem to be near the window, overlooking the grape vines and the little bench you built for Rose, just offset from the pane to spare himself the excess light and the ominous silhouette in the window. You pull a little box from your sylladex, a gift for your beloved Grandpa. You can tell he's too lost in thought to pluck at all the lavish ribbons and paper you've wrapped it in, so you unbox it for him. Within he finds a few Artifacts - the skull of a monster that you put onto his mantlepiece immediately; a bottle of his theoretically favourite Cognac, which you put on a shelf next to a few similar bottles of brown alcohol. Clink. And last but not least, a loud Hawaiian shirt with a computer woven into the threads. It's bright, it's garish, it's absolutely nobody's style. You set this neatly folded on his desk, where he can deal with it at his leisure.

okay grandpa, i know you gotta work... thank you for coming out with me today! it was nice to spend time with you... ill come visit again soon, okay? i love you soooooo much grandpa!! happy fathers and grandfathers day!!

You hesitate, then scurry over and hug the old man, clinging tight to his sturdy frame. A single tear runs down your cheek and musses his khaki attire, but it's only a small watermark. You gaze up at the lofty gentleman, ears angled backwards for a moment, wishing he'd return your affection now and then. But it's alright. It's tough for old men full of machismo to show their love. You know he cares from the wistful look in his eyes. You hold onto his hand for a moment, squeezing gently, then depart. As you go, you hear the soft chime of a wardrobifier, perhaps triggered by the teardrop. You look back, and he's wearing the shirt you got him. With a soft smile you slip from his study and close the door behind you, murmuring one more time -

happy fathers day, to a wonderful grampa...

#whoops a day late)) #had to spend time with actual family irl)) #long post #solo writing #solo rp #drabbles #death cw/ #guns cw/