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juicedaloe · 9 months

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Mithrun and brain damage

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.

This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.

This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.

Okay let's go

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.

Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:

Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)

Inability to process and name physical perceptions

Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties

Communication difficulties

Social impairment

Apathy about caring for oneself

Lack of motivation

Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions

This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.

A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.

(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)

He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.

Mood swings

Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.

Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.

This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.

Communication difficulties and social impairment

Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.

Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.

People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)

I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.

In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.

Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.

Caring for oneself and motivation

In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.

In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.

Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.

He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.

Other things of note

I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.

While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.

Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.

Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.

Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.

In conclusion

Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.

And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.

Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.

Okay bye

#Dungeon Meshi #Mithrun

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twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for · 1 year

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My thoughts on TWC Book 3… SPOILER WARNING

I’m going to do this in the order I played them… Please note I have not done a run through of if you did not enter a relationship with N or F in Book 2 yet and I have not done LT. This is also just not a comprehensive list because there’s lots of options and so little time.

M’s route is literally perfection in Book 3 I can’t think of any beef I have with it like at all and I’m beyond pleased with it. I will be inconsolable until Book 4.

F’s route was also pretty good but there were some things that really shocked me. Out of all the routes, I figured F would be the one that had the “L” word first but it was no where in sight. This route is the one that feels best and most natural for it to happen in and… nothing. I also don’t care for how… swept under the rug entering a physical relationship felt? In Book 2, being physical with M had the level of importance to it that felt okay but this was just not that way. For the most part though I’m happy here.

N’s route… I’m not sure what happened here. It feels wrong and like I don’t know this character anymore or that the answers I know of N have changed. I expected them to be the second love confession… certainly not the first. It also strikes me as odd that we can confess to N and it really just be… not disregarded but looked over shortly after rather than be reciprocated in the moment. It would have been more natural maybe at the end where it was a mutual thing? I don’t know I just didn’t care for that but you could also just not say it I suppose too. Like F’s route I also didn’t care for how it went about entering a physical relationship with N and how… casual it was which goes against like everything N stands for at least the first time. The level of importance there is like if N and the detective had been boinking since Book 1. And N disregarding the argument between them and the detective (if the detective got hurt and was upset by N’s behavior) was really out of character. Even when you choose the option to not be near them because you’re still upset the game acts the exact same as if you chose another answer. That being said, I was really happy to see N’s anger and stuff regarding the detective and them getting upset with the detective’s disregard for themselves. I also wish the game would decide if N is going to be fully honest about the past or not. I was expecting 100% or 0% it just felt wrong to only get some and move on. I was also shocked about N thinking about the detective turning like at all because the answers we’ve been given has been so adamant that’s not something they want to have happen or to think about. I don’t know, it’s not that I didn’t enjoy some of N’s route but it was definitely like “who is this character and what did they do with N” for me and I’m not sure if I’m alone in that.

A’s route was also pretty good and shocked me in good ways. I don’t have much to say on this one because it felt pretty natural and expected. I was shocked that the kiss can happen at the end and that A would allow themselves to have it just once. The breakdown immediately after and especially the tears had me like :o I also really loved the detective bestie dynamic here when it comes to A hurting themselves and the detective. And for them to take a shot to the colleague question in front of everyone? Some really tasty stuff.

Non-route related thoughts…. I’m not happy about the detective joining the agency. It feels wrong and like what’s the point of being in Wayhaven if you’re not the detective and just an agent and can go anywhere. I really don’t understand that choice especially so early on in the series. I also don’t know where the Bobby/Douglas storyline with go from here. There was just a lot of confusing decisions for the detectives personal life and career. Idk maybe with time I’ll understand more. EDIT: Also for M I suppose it makes sense… but less can be more with the sex scenes. It was really heavy-handed for F/N I feel and out of place. And the blood drive plot point was so unnecessary and took up too much for something that amounted to a non issue in the end. I would have loved less or none of that and more of the auction or literally anything else. Also the auction was weird because there was so much stressed on going alone and not having UB as backup… but UB was there anyways????? I don’t like Rebecca so I didn’t team up with her so I’m not sure what difference that makes.

#TWC Book 3 spoilers

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lizziethat · 1 year

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How would you describe Kiara’s and JJ’s chemistry and how it’s evolved over the seasons? As I’m rewatching s3 you can really feel the tension between the pair but it’s not really sexual tension?? Like you can feel the attraction to each other but I feel like there’s so much more depth to them by this point. It just seems like by s3 it’s not so much the physical affection/intimacy they are longing for but something deeper emotionally. It seems like in season 1 there was a lot more sexual tension and maybe it seemed like that just because of JJ’s strong physical attraction to Kiara in the beginning.

Anyways this a chaotic question and it probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but I’m curious to read your thoughts! :)

This is a fun question because I've sorta wanted to discuss this and didn't know where to start or how to go on this tangent, but the question has helped me with framing by giving me a reason to discuss the general idea of sexual tension that TV typically presents to us.

I think there's this notion -- sort of reinforced by many years of TV -- that there's one kind of relationship progression, and that relationships usually go from what we think of as the "sexual tension" stage to something deeper. There are clear examples in entertainment of couples where that is so, and the typical procedural will they/won't they couple is one of those. Think Mulder and Scully, Bones and Booth, Castle and Beckett, and even Tim and Lucy. But that is, of course, not the only kind of relationship progression there is.

For couples such as the ones I mentioned, though, it is the only available one. They met as adults, and when you do, it's easier to recognize physical attraction before anything else. The rest, you have to build, and it is incredibly rewarding to see couples build these relationships. Jiara, however, doesn't fit into this at all.

Because Kiara and JJ met as kids. There's no sexual tension between kids. There's something different that happens at one point, sexual awakening -- and boy, does that get complicated when you're thinking about someone you already care for, your friend, and in the midst of feeling new things. Oftentimes, you will even repress your feelings in a situation such as that one, because ...it's awkward! This is your friend.

In this regard, though, I think S1 Jiara was the Season where we saw JJ and even Kiara, more comfortable with just the physical aspect of their relationship, or the "she's hot," kinda banter, if only because it's easier to joke about something you think is never going to happen. Writing-wise S1 JJ and Kiara aren't being written as endgame, so the jokes make more sense. And yes, Rudy and Madison have great, believable chemistry, that can feel like friendship with a hint of more, and that's how we ended up here, but the key to how believable the progression is isn't just on their chemistry, but in the setup.

You fall in love with your friends more often than not, despite friends-to-lovers not being the most common trope we see in entertainment. And when you do, it's because you already love them, because you start not from 0 but from 5, and kinda marry that with oh, actually, I think they're pretty darn attractive too, and I also think all these great things about them and maybe, maybe that means more ...so by the time we get to S3 with Jiara, it's so much deeper, because it can be no other way. The emotional connection was already there from the beginning.

I think that's also why they play the charged physical moments as a discovery, too. They're not discovering that they're attracted to each other, they're discovering that their attraction coupled with their feelings makes for something they'd never felt before. Again, on a scale from 1-10, Jiara in S3 is at a 7 ...and the natural instinct is to reach for more, to look for the deeper emotional connection, which can probably only be achieved when feelings are expressed, reciprocated and you start thinking of a shared future.

tldr; I think Jiara works so well because their relationship has always felt rooted in a deep love for each other -- like the best friends-to-lovers romances always are -- that was there long before they ever thought oh, he/she is actually pretty darn hot. Which, they do! They really do. It's just never been about only that. It couldn't be, because in so many ways, they loved each other before they were attracted to each other.

LIKE, LOOK ...that's love before sexual tension, which doesn't mean there is no sexual tension, it's just the order is different!

#outer banks #obx #jiara

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skylaryozora · 1 year

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What do you think are Riven and Musa's primary love languages?

Ah, wonderful question, thank you! I think I will quickly analyze every type of love language and estimate of how much importance they are to them. Not sure if I should focus more on receiving or expressing love, so let’s do both.

Let's start with Riven. I do believe his values focus on the practical and physical side of things as well as the "actions over words" approach, which leads me to the conclusion he would lean into Acts of Service when showing love, also because it doesn’t require much talking or expressing feelings, instead focusing on usefulness. HOWEVER, when it comes to receiving, I'm not sure if he would like it at first. He's very much about self-sufficiency and doing things his own way, so it did occur to me that he could in the beginning interpret someone's act of service as unwelcome favor and be annoyed by the fact that someone assumed he needs help with anything, but with time he would learn not to treat such acts as nuisance or offence and appreciate it instead, especially if it is Musa sharing the workload. There could be an additional reason for Riven changing his mind: this love language is about partners' efforts to make life easier for each other, and if we assume that Riven had a particularly tough childhood and probably hasn't had any loving family members or partners who could care and provide for him before RF era, he would realize with time that altruistic significant others who do not let him overwork himself are keepers for life. Apart from that, coming back to the physical side and adding the fact Riven is not that verbal, I guess giving and receiving Physical Touch is quite crucial to him. I would dare say he's craving it deep down but hides it well in order not to come off as too vulnerable (remember how he awkwardly tried to embrace Musa when she clung to him in Alfea at the beginning of S2), but again with time he overcomes his shyness and musters the courage to actually initiate the hug. Now that I remember random scenes from the show and comic panels, I think that once Musa becomes his girlfriend, Riven tends to show quite a lot of physical affection through embraces. When it comes to Quality Time, which is about uninterrupted and focused one-on-one interactions, I feel it ultimately does matter to Riven to have Musa all for himself, especially when he discovers how comfortable he feels around her, and he does get upset when his need for Quality Time is not met for various reasons. Regarding Words of Affirmation, we all know Riven struggles with expressing feelings and is not that verbal, so this type is rather out of his comfort zone. That notwithstanding, he secretly appreciates such words in receipt. As for Receiving Gifts, he doesn’t care much about it, unless it’s something useful, but that connects to Acts of Service.

Riven: Acts of Service – 30%, Physical Touch – 30%, Quality Time – 25%, Words of Affirmation – 15%, Receiving Gifts – 0%.

And now Musa. Here let me advert to one of your recent posts about Winx girls’ love languages, since I think they are very much on point. I would also opt for Physical Touch as Musa’s primary type, albeit not that straightforward. Once I read someone commenting that they feel a particular sensual and intimate tension between Musa and Riven, and I think that would fit with them both caring about physical intimacy. Also, being a fairy of music, she’s obviously more verbal, and I headcanon her to rely on hearing in many aspects because it just comes natural for her to do so, which leads me to think she equally needs Words of Affirmation to thrive in a relationship, especially having experienced pretty sad childhood, but this is where she and Riven struggle to match, since as I pointed out before, this type is far from Riven’s area of expertise and more often that not, he finds it challenging to come up with a compliment or encouragement which doesn’t sound awkward. As for saying words of affirmation to her loved ones, Musa is of course more savvy and as she develops her power she becomes more and more skillful and effective in providing encouragement and empathizing with others. The next one would probably be Quality Time; as much as Riven does, Musa appreciates having him all for herself and I imagine them spending quite a lot of time together later on, even if it’s just to take a nap or listen to music. Next would perhaps be Receiving Gifts, especially if the presents are related to her interests (Riven singing for her) or feature her favorite color yellow (her bike uniform was yellow and she did like it). When it comes to Acts of Service, I kinda believe that at first Musa might not even consider this type of expressing love worthy of attention since she associates it more with doing chores, but later she discovers that you can make your partner happy through helping out and doing favors.

Musa: Physical Touch – 30%, Words of Affirmation – 30%, Quality Time – 20%, Receiving Gifts – 10%, Acts of Service – 10%.

Hope it is a satisfactory explanation and looking forward to any comments or additional remarks!

#winx club #winx musa #winx riven #winx headcanons #love language #love languages #ask skylar #winx rivusa

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caterpillarinacave · 11 months

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Hi! I'm the same Henry anon from yesterday, thank you for your answer!

If you actually want to elaborate more on your headcanons and you have time to do so, I'd love to read more! I was especially curious to know if there is a specific explanation for the headcanon about the way his sleeping habits changed? (And in the tags you mentioned angst?) And in general if you ever want to write an hour long rant I'll happily read it!

Anyway, if you've read until here, bye, and thanks for taking the time to read all of this!

Anon, I am SO sorry, this took so long to answer!!! I do try to be timely, apperances aside.

You know how you have to invite vampires inside for them to come into your house? Yeah, when it comes to talking I'm like one of those vampires. I, of course, would like to talk for hours and am ready to talk for hours,, however I will not start talking until someone invites me to. I like to wait until I have a specific request from someone, then I begin my speech.

Anyway, all that aside, someone has now asked me, so buckle up buttercups, because i am about to TALK

Just a warning, these headcannons get a little more angsty, and therefore a little more dark

Regarding your first question, dear anon, basically, disabilities are exhausting. Physically and emotionally, even if you've got it under control, most every disabled people are constantly tired.

Everything is automatically more physically strenuous.

I, for example, slept really lightly for a really long time. In a lot of ways I still do, but once my more physical disabilities (even though I have them very well under control) showed up the actual want to sleep shoots way up.

You can totally stay up all night working on something and be just fine, but once you lay down and your brain gets the little “yep, we get to sleep now” message, it JUMPS on it. You might've had iffy sleep schedules, but once the physical aspect is added to the mix, it’s really hard to convince your brain to get up when everything is so tired if you stir in the middle of the night. After a while your brain doesn't work anywhere near as hard to try and wake you up, and suddenly you're totally down to fall asleep on the carpet and sleep there for six and a half hours.

Same applies for Henry.

It's exhausting to get around as a disabled person and he's just… tired.

The weeks following the battle of idris were NOT a fun time lol. Didn't seem awful from an outside POV, but physically speaking Henry was having an awful, awful time, and emotionally Charlotte was having the go of it.

He’s in charge of all his mobility aids. Made a lot of them, with less input from the silent brothers then youd think he would need.I mean, shadowhunters are ridiculously unhelpful (seriously, how was he the first one to come up with a wheelchair. how.) Logistically speaking, he has multiple chairs, but a favorite.

He has just got to eat more. He’s so awful at keeping track of time, forgets to eat constantly. and is pretty much 0% body fat. He usually gets away with it, but he’s got nothing to fall back on if he’s sick or injured, which was kind of a problem after the battle of idris.

He used to be a decent piano player, but most of what he enjoyed playing relayed on a peddle, and while he probably could, it wasn't ever worth finding a way to make the pedal work for him, so he just kinda moved on.

This one's more canon but he had absolutely no friends. Like, at all growing up. He was lucky if they ignored him instead of actively harassing him but like??? He doesn't really care??? He’s just like, “kay yeah, whatever”, then grows up and continues to not have any shadowhunter friends but it seems like warlocks think he’s really fucking cool, so is that a win?

You know how there's the persistent theme of Charlotte feeling guilty for the events of TID? Henry’s kind of in the same boat. Any one as pedantic as me remembers the line at the end of CA;

Going off the book, he was the one who told Mortmain about the Pyxis, he was the one technically protecting Jessamine when she died, left the woman he loved to suffer in silence because he can't figure the most obvious things, his list of failures miles long, his presence causing so much annoyance to everyone around him.

How could he be so stupid, so blind? How many problems had he caused just by being who he was?

Who would be alive, who would have suffered so much less if he had just been a little smarter, a little quicker, a little less like himself?

He’s spent his whole life being told that he’s stupid, makes everything worse, everything is his fault, and he’s a burden on everyone around him, and there’s these things that might be his fault (no, nothing was his fault, Henry forgive yourself please-) you can not tell me they arent weighing on him a little bit.

To pull from a discarded WIP of mine, “...in her head, Charlotte’s hands were stained red, and in his, Henry could bathe in the blood of the shadowhunters he’d killed.”

Genuinely hates staying in bed. It just drives him insane to sit in one room doing nothing. It’s bearable to go sit in your pajamas in the living room, but doing the same thing in a bedroom?

Insufferable. Unmanageable. Impossible. Horrific. How could you possibly stay in such a boring place that long. What do you mean I could die. I’ll die in a different room thank you very much.

He’s really good at chess, but doesnt really get the big deal about winning the game. As in, he doesn't even remotely get why someone would get upset about losing, or why it’s if you want someone to like you you shouldn't beat them in five minutes. Charlotte eventually told him that some people just hate losing. “Great, got it” he said, then proceeded to just ask people if they wanted to win or not. This is not good for political relations.

Cue the Clave conversations;

“Do you play? I’d be honored to play a round with you, Mr. Fairchild.”

“I’d be delighted to. How would you like to play?”

“Beg pardon?”

“Would you like me to try and beat you, pretend to try and beat you but purposefully lose, or blatantly lose?”

“...”

“:)”

====

“Henry, darling, let’s go over this in a different way.”

“Literally what did I do???”

It’s canon that he had a lot of self esteem issues when he was younger, but it's one of the things I wish CC had looked more into. (I’ve got a fic about this exact thing, but don't know if i'll ever post it lol)

There have been a few times when he’d had a particularly bad day and finds himself a little closer to the edge of a bridge than he should be, and shaking off how easy it would be to die right then. In a couple seconds, he could never bother anyone again.

It's really an intrusive thought, but he just can't help but think how much better it might be for everyone if he wasn't here. The shadowhunters really genuinely don't like him, and canonically treat him horribly, and for him it seems like all he does for Charlotte, who he loved more than anything else in the world, is make her life harder.

When he’s coming back from an assignment it would be so easy to drop everyone else off at the institute, take a horse out (Balios can find his way back), and just not come back. At least not breathing, that is.

He doesn’t act, of course. After all, the Institute is a busy place, and he often is needed for errands or assignments. It would be cruel to leave them to navigate with one less pair of hands. Will and Jessamine really are a handful, and Jem is… well, it wouldn't be fair to make a scene when the focus should be on them. Besides, if Charlotte is at all fond of him, his death would be more upsetting than his blunders.

Right?

#i love my headcannons #if all yall have thoughts and questions i love then #tw suicide mention #i guess?#seriously though anon sorry that took like a wee #k #tid #tlh #tsc #henry fairchild #henry branwell #the infernal devices #headcannons #charlotte fairchild #charlotte branwell

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lesbiannancytruther · 2 years

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birds of paradise au but i compromise my morals

okay u guys

i know i said i would never do it

but im making a steddie-centric post :( im so sorry lesbians i hope u can forgive me bc im adding ronance in here as often as i can

starting with steve! i’m going with the classic cockatoo for multiple reasons: reason #1) they’re super lively, affectionate, and they make really strong bonds. reason #2) that HAIR

yeah im making a hair joke OKAY. cockatoos also need a lot of attention and affection which is like steve’s base need to survive, they’re literally known as “the velcro bird” like come on

making both nancy and steve cockatoos is an intentional choice, it added to their “they’re a perfect couple!” factor in high school and steve took it as meaning nancy and him were soulmates or smth. nancy liked it because it was as perfect as she needed it to be. i think they really do still have that bond as having a lot of similar needs and enjoyment in children’s princess tents, and they are way closer when they admit there’s nothing romantic between them.

regular cockatoos are bigger than galahs and yeah steve’s wings are p big and he flexes that shit HARD, even though he gets kinda dunked on cause cockatoos r pretty and not... carnivorous? is that the main manly bird flex idrk im a lesbian

steve is super physically affectionate, mainly with robin but he quickly extends it to nancy and eventually eddie when they get close, it’s how he gives and receives love and it’s fun okay

an idea of his wings as well :)

+ bonus point he and nancy make jokes about their similar wing patterns

onto eddie and YEAH im being stereotypical abt this one bc that mf is so raven coded. emo ass wings. yeah. and before u ask: yes im a firm believer eddie is confident no insecure mf will actively stand up on a lunch table and make a joker society speech okay. he’s curious and he struts and he’s intelligent! also the more talented flier in the steddie dynamic even though his wings are thoroughly messed up bc he absolutely doesn’t care for them. steve and nancy have the same “wtf let me fix it” instinct its true

also random stobin hc steve saw robin’s messed up wings and wanted to fix them but every time he really tried robin kinda pulled away? making it clear that steve is still robin’s BEST friend and they care for each other deeply but i think robin places a certain weight on an activity like that and when nancy was like “dude wtf” she was kinda floored and was surprised with how okay she was letting it happen. steve respects robin’s boundaries regarding her wings immensely but that fucker absolutely nags her for it and robin is always like “what was that? oh im sorry i thought i heard someone with absolutely 0 bitches say smth”

okay back to eddie but steve is always the one that has to wrestle eddie to get him to sit still and clean up his wings and when he’s done eddie is shocked his wings feel normal and not awful and steve is like “go fucking figure”

eddie’s wings are sleek and long and, when cared for, glossy as hel;. his feathers are super distinct and for some reason i feel like he sheds so steve is always like “eddie was here.....” when eddie walks by.

+ eddie’s wings :)

eddie is super playful and likes to mess around with the party and the other three alike, always being the one to spur them into a game of sky tag (man idk) or smth which always leaves the group breathless and laughing (yes nancy won)

eddie is a BIG FAN of the raven doombringer aesthetic, its super awesome to him and he’s very proud of it

eddie hoards shiny objects all. the. time. he gives random pieces of jewelry out when he feels like it (its to people he cares abt but he would never say that out loud) and im a firm believer in him wearing ornamental jewelry on his wings like silver skulls and chains and stuff. the others take to it because it actually is really cool.

eddie gives steve gold chains and random charms personally that steve manages with, while robin notices nancy’s interest and gets them matching charms, nancy’s in gold and robin’s in bronze. (i imagine they’re books referencing their first real conversation). nancy is also a fan of artful thin gold chains and she gets robin bronze bands to bound the base of her wings in a neat way.

steve and eddie don’t get together until much later, always being weirdly distant but respectful of the other. it’s not until robin and nancy hanging out so often that their respective besties (steve and eddie) r like “hang out with us more” which brings them together to hang out more and they actually get along pretty well the more they talk

they then start to branch off on their own and i think they’re pretty slowburn. steve doesn’t really know what he wants and eddie is happy to wait until he finds out what he does. when steve initiates the kiss its slow and nice and experimental and robin and nancy flex on them for figuring out way sooner (in a very teasing manner ofc)

robin: nancy, and u know i love u babe, probably had the worst comphet i’ve ever seen and she still figured that out way faster than you

steve: in my defense nancy is smarter than me

they’re flock and i love them bad :( i want to add jargyle to the mix but i genuinely have no clue what their species would be so if y’all have any ideas pls drop them in my ask box! also take requests for certain characters i haven’t mentioned yet and also in general for any of my aus u can pop into my ask box to ask <3

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance #the fruity four #birds of paradise au

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whiteautumnblackspring · 1 year

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To be honest. Something that shadows me with doubt when it comes to manifestation is that i never see actual results from others.

There are some yt creators who make sub's/affs etc for years. And when they show themselves on camera... they just look ordinary. Like average. Nothing special about their appearance. Nothing captivating. Inspiring etc.

Its kinda mean to think but i can't help it. How can you have 100+ ethereal/unreal beauty sub's, desired face/body/life and ridiculously named boosters etc and go on camera claiming that you have your full desires results when you look like any other person walking down the street?

Where are the people who have actually changed their appearance? attracted wealth? and why is there never any record of it? All the most popular blocks on here seem to be faceless just claiming that they already have all their desires results and life and its like... not to be that guy miss mr man but you spend like 12hrs on tumblr a day somthing isnt adding up. And if anyone says dumb shit like oh you can't take pics show proof it destroys the reality etc then I'm sorry to inform you. That's cult behavior.

I get that people are using the law of assumption/attraction. But people will 100% dead claim they woke up and couldn't recognize themselves in the mirror and like never even post a selfie? Bitch that could not be me. Do you know how much i've suffeered and longed to be in the right body?

For my reflection to show the real me. The me who exists within.

I've had a clear image of myself in my head for over a decade. I look 0% like what i do when i look in the mirror.

I am working on strengthening my relationship and health of this vessel.

I'm dedicating all my time to listening to morphic/rife frequencies, binurals, subs etc. Because its not just the outside. I have lived in a delapidated dysfunctional body for nearly a decade. I have ender so much pain and suffering. I continue to if i'm not careful.

I'm a very sexual person. But i was snubbed at a young age and given chronic pelvic pain/infections/atrophy etc. I have had painless or injury-less sex in a decade. And for the most part I've made peace with it. Because i live between two distinct realities.

This current i am typing from. And the reality of my creation.

Its not just my physical appearance that's different. My personality, ability to connect with others and love, desires. Hell i even have a twin brother. Double hell i'm a shapeshifting fox!

I've ran through every emotion and stage of grief 100x over. I've tried everything. But no matter what nothing changes on this reality. No matter how detached or grounded i am in this body. No matter how much work I've put in to heal and let go of anger and trauma related to my body. To affirm and lift myself up. To keep hanging in there etc etc. It's been futile.

I suppose this is going to be a personal diary/vent blog regarding manifestation as well as a lot for my current project of getting this vessel in much better condition so that when i am split between realities. The contrast isn't so painful.

#me #diary #vent

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grievedeeply · 2 years

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for match-ups!! :) romantic + guys please

i'm 5'1" and trans masc. i'm autistic with a special interest in story based games. style could be described as comfy/casual most of the time. my love languages are physical touch and quality time!!

for personality, i'm super stubborn and kind of a dick sometimes. i care deeply about those i'm close with though and would do almost anything for them. i try to deflect my problems with humor and ignore them. not super social either so my friend group is on the smaller side. (according to friends, i'm intimidating when you first meet me?) i'm also extremely forgetful to a fault sometimes.

besides my special interest i rlly like animals, cinematography, nature, the jurassic park/world franchise, baking, etc. as a kid i really wanted to work in a zoo or smth with nature/animal conservation

i hope this is enough information/isnt too much 😭 sorry if theres run-on sentences or errors its 4am here

this is so unrelated but i also love jurassic park/world and your taste is amazing. i hope you enjoy!

i match you with... ryan!

he absolutely understands coming off as an asshole at first. he has trouble reading social situations sometimes and he's glad he has someone around who can relate to him in that way

ryan is really protective of you. if someone ever says anything bad about you behind your back he's immediately coming to your defense. he has 0 regard for what the other person might think of him afterwards

he loves spending time with you. it takes him a bit to get warmed up to physical affection with you, but he gets used to it and he comes to really enjoy it. it's comforting when it comes from you

he'll definitely play all of your favorite games with you, he has a lot of fun just sitting around and watching you make decisions. sometimes he'll give you his input too

he'll bake with you! he hasn't really done it before but he's a quick learner and he'd honestly do anything to spend a few more minutes with you

#match ups

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sweetbabyrayray · 4 months

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youre a very strong and understanding person, i was really worried i would make you feel worse (i also apologize for being on anon, i just wanted to wish you well). I have a personality disorder and issues with self harm, and i really do know how you feel, it really feels so horrible to have someone you care about kick you to the curb instead of supporting you or trying to get you help, or even just talking to you. i dont know you and our situations sound very different, but i know how that feels to get 0 understanding and 0 empathy when youre struggling inside. your ex being autistic probably made it even harder for him to emotionally understand how youre feeling (though of course we dont blame him for that) - sometimes things just dont work out. the hardest part for me was realizing that some things i did were manipulative, even if i didnt mean them to be, because of what a bad place i was in. you sound like you understand yourself way better than i did and i have lots of hope youll get through this! youre very brave, and very strong to keep moving forward like you are! i hope you get your housing needs met first and foremost. sorry i bugged you so late at night, wishing you happiness in this world and a place to stay- best wishes for the job too! sending hugs and well wishes, and praying you get the support of friends and family you deserve

oh its all good friend! it would take a LOT to offend or upset me, i promise. i typically have pretty thick skin and give people the benefit of the doubt (unless theyve consistently given me reason not to)

yeah, though, it really does. it's not even that he didn't support me, that would be less bad. it's that he directly promised me safety if i gave up everything and traveled countries to move in with him (meaning, spending thousands of dollars, donating half my stuff, selling my car, discarding the ability to find work easily because of immigration laws, pausing my physical therapy for my disability, etc). i wanted to live with him too and needed to move anyway for personal reasons, and he promised me safety if i moved to be with him in canada. then he decided that he didn't want to do it anymore and kicked me out, AFTER i'd already sacrificed everything. its so fucked up dude lol

his autism definitely did make it difficult for him, and i was very understanding of that. the thing is, though, i also have autism. i struggle very similarly to him, but ive worked very hard to still be considerate and listen to other people, to communicate even when its hard. i actively have to remind myself to consider other people's perspectives because it doesnt come naturally to me, either. im not going to stand here and blame him for struggling with things that were crucial to our relationship when they were not things that came naturally to him - that would be not only hypocritical, but plain asshole-ish; however, i am going to blame him for never putting in any work towards meeting in the middle in regards to these crucial things. there was no communication, no understanding, and no respect. his refusal to self-reflect or self-improve caused me an extreme amount of suffering, and his coping mechanisms (i wont go into them here, but basically he was extremely nasty to me) made the situation much worse than it needed to be, and thats fully on him.

thank you for being kind and talking with me. dont worry, ive been staying up late in an attempt to make myself as tired as possible so when i go to bed i just knock out immediately. you werent bothering me in the slightest. if you want to dm me, id be open to it, but i dont mind the anonymous messages either. i also wish you happiness and love <3

#ray speaks

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tenderbittersweet · 11 months

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Here’s what they don’t tell you in (group) therapy

Toxic and problematic hot takes below the cut ✌🏻

I haven’t self-harmed in 3 years, and I have to say that no coping skill has ever given me the same instant, surging relief that self-harm would give me. Like I would literally feel an overwhelming torrent of endorphins and serotonin, and I would feel so good I’d cry in relief and just lie there on my bed feeling so good for the first time all day.

I haven’t done it in three years, and I miss it a lot. Because it always worked. It was easy and free to do. It required no thinking or planning or a stupid ~°•*toolbox of skills*•°~ bullshit. With my own two hands, I was able to produce instant, observable results!

And no one knew! (Or if anyone knew, no one ever said anything to me. Which fuck them if they knew and didn’t reach out to me.) Because it was no one’s business how I was or wasn’t coping. It didn’t affect anyone but me. Genuinely, I can’t remember why I stopped other than that it’s “shameful” and “nOt A gOoD cHoIcE.” You know what? If the adults in my life didn’t make good choices regarding my care as a child, teen, or young adult, then why the fuck should I?

I had to grow up and be mature so fast, and I never got to have a silly, fun childhood filled with friends and mishaps and life lessons. I was busy getting abused every day and wishing I would just die already. But also still getting straight As and working and volunteering and etc. at the same time.

Oh, but I’m the one who needs to change my behavior? I always have to change my behavior! I always have to take responsibility and make good choices and “tAkE tHe HiGh RoAd.” Yeah, well, look where that got me! Right back at square one. Again.

But at least I stopped making myself feel good via self-harm. That’s a win, right? That’s all that matters, right? That you get bragging rights for fighting against your own tar pit of a brain? That’s the important thing.

If it feels good, does no long term damage, and costs $0, then it’s not as big of a deal as your therapist wants you to think. Therapy is great and all in helping you talk/think through things, but it doesn’t solve your living situation, your job, your education, your income, your physical health, etc. It’s all just blah blah blah.

Therapy helps you gain awareness of your situation and your role in it, but it doesn’t get you out of it. So you’re stuck with this awareness and your helplessness is now in sharp focus for the rest of your life. You’re constantly aware of every thought and feeling you have. You recite psychological jargon to yourself all fucking day every fucking day. And what does it get you? Depression, but with fresh and exciting new vocabulary!

People don’t lie to you. They Gaslight you!

You’re not inept. You’re displaying Learned Helplessness!

You’re not sad. You’re Traumatized!

You didn’t have a bad childhood. You were Abused and Neglected!

You don’t have distressing thought cycles. You have OCD!

Same situation + new words = ☆•°~Same situation~°•☆

#suicidal ideation #self harm #therapy #ranting #venting #depression #anxiety #personal #op

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eriellesudario · 5 years

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An open letter to Hagrid + Thoughts on Card Jitsu Fire

Card-Jitsu Fire is finally out and it was delayed for a week. Throughout the waiting period, there were penguins complaining and rioting in the dojo about when the game is coming out.

Understandable since there was a release date given but one thing that people need to understand is that the people developing the game are teenagers. They are sacrificing their time just to make it happen.

From what I was told from Stu, they can't hire more team members due to trust issues.

While there are people who are supportive, there are those who lash out. I've seen dirty talk said about Hagrid and how his excuse is b*llsh*t.

Sadly, there will always be people who will spread hate.

Initially, I wanted to DM Hagrid as I was hearing that he's ditching school and not resting till he finishes the game. But unfortunately, I couldn't do it as he closed his DM's.

So I made it an open letter on Twitter, hoping he would view it.

The reason I'm posting it here is mostly for archival purposes and to remind people to give support to people working their hardest. Not only to create virtual worlds but also for those tackling huge projects.

Here is the open letter I gave to Hagrid

An open letter to @tim_rollinson

Hey Hagrid, I would dm this but your dms are closed so… this is the second option. Hey bud… how you doing? Hope everything is ok in your end in regards to the creation of Card Jitsu Fire. Heard its a really huge project since early 2018. I just now heard that you're taking lots of extra time into coding CJ Fire. I've also heard that a lot of CPR's code is custom and you didn't copy and paste old/existing code with probs missing elements into it. Wowzas. I find it quite insane that you're risking everything for this game. Your education, your health (mental, physical, and probs emotional), and basically everything in the offline world to create (or re-create) something online.IDK anyone else can pull that off other than you. I know there were angry penguins who kept asking and complaining why it's late. I've seen tweets about people comparing other CPPS and blah… and just being salty in general. But I do hope you know there are penguins out there who understand your effort to do something amazing. Please be careful, however. Don't risk everything for us. You have a life. You're still a kid (well you're 18 but still…). I do hope when it's done, you'd finally get a well-deserved break. You need rest! You need to live your life as a kid or young adult. You're tackling a task of like a team of coders on your own (maybe the other admins are helping you out… Idk) and whilst it's admirable, it's also dangerous if you're not taking care of your wellbeing. I know CPR can't hire more coders due to the past, but it doesn't mean go over-do yourself or burn out on something. I know you're passionate, and believe me, I remember staying up all night to edit a huge project. I just hope you do take care of yourself. Despite there being lots of angry ninjas out yelling hate and protest, just know there are people who appreciate your work and are concerned about you. Please do take care of yourself Hagrid. -From the Club Penguin Rewritten Community who still has your back, no matter what! PS: Here is the pocket penguin who will give you love and support throughout this journey.

Link to original thread

It's support like this that motivates other people and the result is surprising. On December 7, 2018, the game was finally out and there were minimal bugs!!!

Luckily the game works (just like in the original). I know a few penguins got the fire amulet already (like Perapin) and I'm just half-way through this journey.

Tips on how to get through this version of CJF:

1V1 is the best if you want to finish the game as 1st place gives you 5%, 2nd place gives you 2%, and 3rd and 4th gives you nothing.

Talking to Sensei doesn't work atm so you're better off using the mats.

You can't wait for the timer to reach 0. Once it does, you're both going to be unable to make a move as the game doesn't always auto-selects.

Quitting doesn't give you points. So if your opponent quits, you can't make moves and you don't earn %, even if you're ahead.

So shout out to Hagrid for working his hardest to creating (or re-creating) Card Jitsu Fire...

Now please take your time making CJ Water (no, don't! Go to sleep!!!)

#2018 #blog #club penguin #open letter

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shishuka-hospital · 2 years

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Questions you really want to ask your Pediatrician?

Pediatricians are the ones who care for your child's wellbeing in the beginning phases of experience growing up until early adulthood from ear sicknesses and colic issues to physical and sports wounds, with the exception of breaks and defilement of the skin, your kids specialist will keep a consistent presence in your child's life. So pick your pediatrician shrewdly. The best method for deciding the right pediatrician is to design all that and set yourself up with the right inquiries.

Here are a portion of the inquiries you really want to consider while visiting a pediatrician:

Do you have any pediatric subspecialties?

What are your perspectives on kid care, antibodies, vaccinations, breastfeeding, circumcision, rest preparing, etc?

Will you exhort us on nurturing procedures or tips on the most proficient method to assist kids with growing socially and inwardly?

Do you suggest utilizing child equation?

How many months or weeks does a commonplace examination endure?

Will the underlying gathering with the child be at your medical clinic?

A few inquiries to pose to a pediatrician according to a kid's age

Previously mentioned inquiries to the pediatrician are more conventional in nature. Yet, as your kid develops and can't meet the expected advancement on time, then, at that point, you will have questions in regards to your kid's development and improvement.

Here are a few normal inquiries to pose to your pediatrician relying upon your youngster's age:

Age: 0-1 Year (Child):

What amount would it be advisable for me to take care of my infant? Do I have to adhere to any estimation or severe rules?

Which is the most ideal way to ensure that the child is getting sufficient Vitamin D?

Might you at any point suggest a lactation specialist?

How to really focus on the umbilical line of my child?

Do you have any ideas on how frequently I ought to breastfeed my child?

How might I ensure that my child is getting satisfactory rest?

Is my infant's rest design ordinary?

Is there anything I can do to guarantee that my child stays asleep for the entire evening?

How frequently would it be advisable for me to change my child's diaper?

How might I cause my child to feel calm during inoculation?

How to wash my child, is there any most effective way?

Age: 1 - 4 years (Babies or Preschoolers):

Which methods do you suppose will work for potty preparation, my little child?

What sort of ordinary discourse designs are predominant in developing babies?

What could be the explanations behind my kid's defiance and insubordinate way of behaving?

How to train babies and preschoolers?

Age: 5 - 8 years (Youngsters):

What kind of proactive tasks should my youngster take part in?

Is it typical for youngsters to get confounded among numbers and letters?

How might I get to know whether my kid is having sound development and advancement?

What ought to be the best weight of the youngster?

Bringing up children can give a great deal of pleasure and experience to your life. In any case, likewise, it can likewise bring self-uncertainty and trepidation. Watching your child develop and foster will make you delighted, and the second your child wheezes or gets a gentle fever, you'll be in alarm mode. The best way to not stress is by picking a decent pediatrician for your kid. Since you have an adequate number of inquiries to pose to a pediatrician, visit shishu health care - the best pediatrician in Bangalore.

#shishu health care #best pediatrician in bangalore #kids specialist #child specialist hospital near me

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pageparade5 · 2 years

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