eternal you┆min yoongi
With you gone, the ground under Yoongi’s feet seems to be crumbling, the color in his life fading as the days without you go by. The only thing left to keep him going are the memories he made with you, sunday mornings, exchanged smiles, fingers skimming over soft skin, lazy kisses, nights spent by Han River. To these moments, he travels to see you again - to exist in the utopia that was you once more.
— song; eight - IU ft. SUGA ( i listened to this piano cover)
— pairing; min yoongi x dead!reader
— WC; 5.9K
— genre; a lot of angst with hints of fluff, idol!au, husband!yoongi, dead!wife!reader
— rating; PG/PG13
— warnings; sad yoongs :(, mentions of death, descriptions of mild depression??, lucid dreaming or something, overall there’s nothing that graphic it’s just sad :((
— notes; this took me so long to finish and at this point i’m not even sure what this was supposed to be but i hope you enjoyyy <33
— thank you to @tigertaehyunq, dear Penny, for reading this through and helping me along the way <3
gif found here.
(not fully edited)
The sky, once blue and pretty, has become gray and monochrome.
The world around Yoongi has turned cold, dull. All he sees is grey, ashes of what once was happiness, of what once was love. Since you’ve been gone, everything around him has turned somber, days at work filled with insincere empathy and shallow ‘how are you’’s.
The utopia that came with knowing you, being in your presence, that was made up of the memories you two created together - that was made up of you and him - now broken, shattered into thousands of pieces.
Yoongi has tried, more times than he can count, to pick them up one by one and put them together, but the biggest and most significant piece - you - is gone. All he has left are the memories, the times he got to spend with you and the things you did together, the important yet all too small pieces to patch it all back up.
These only make up half of his heart. The rest is hollow - empty because you’re no longer there.
He sighs as he pushes the door to your apartment open, almost expecting to see you on the couch typing away on your laptop, your eyes leaving your screen to look up at him with a smile - arms reaching out for him to come embrace you. But you’re not there.
The space is dark and the couch is cold and empty. It’s quiet, no TV playing on a low volume in the background like it always used to since you hated the silence that surrounded you when you were home alone, no dancing lights flickering across the surfaces in its reach.
You’re gone.
The apartment almost feels foreign to him, nowhere near entire without your presence. Yoongi has never considered his home to be a place - not since he first fell in love with you. The meaning of home changed completely when he first realized he loved you. Ever since then, it’s never been a space - never just walls and a roof.
Home was you.
It was your embrace, the warmth of your body radiating against his own as you held him tight - your fingertips skimming over the skin at the back of his neck, coming up to brush through the hair at his nape. It was your eyes and the way they lit up as you smiled at him. Home was the sweet nothings you whispered into his ear just before you fell asleep, it was your laugh and the feeling of your lips against his; the taste of your favorite lip balm.
He releases a broken chuckle at the thought, the sound shattering the silence around him. Your damn lip balm. It tasted of coconut, pleasantly so - he must admit - and it was a sweet tang lingering on his lips after you kissed him, the trace of you remaining on them in a way that made his heart flutter, but oh how he disliked it sometimes. He didn’t like how it took away from the raw feeling of your lips pressed against his. But it was so incredibly and typically you. You carried that lip balm around wherever you went, saying you wanted your lips to be soft when he kissed you.
He didn’t care about that. He never did.
Yoongi feels his heart break, again - like it did earlier today when he woke up, and yesterday, and multiple times the day before that day. How much is there left to break before it all gets too much, before it’s too broken to continue on beating?
He stands still as the door falls shut with a click behind him, his gaze falling from the couch down to his feet as he lets his head hang low, chin pressed against his sternum, a hand placed on the wall next to him - scared the ground underneath him is gonna crumble. He’s scared, as it all comes crashing down on him, after being able to keep it inside at work, containing the emotions all he could, hiding behind fake smiles. Only by filling his schedule to the point of exhaustion being able to distract himself from a wandering mind, from the truth - the hurt.
As the clock turns four, he looks up from his notepad feeling numb but expects to be able to breathe out and relax after days of hard work - yet he can’t. His breath is shallow as he collects his things in the studio, shallow as he gets into his car and drives home, thinking maybe, just maybe he’ll be able to breathe when he gets home. But still, as he steps inside the door, his breath only reaches his throat.
Because, to him, there is no home anymore. Without you, there is no place for him to breathe out, your arms no longer reaching out to welcome him home. Without you, he’s lost - astray with nowhere to go.
Yoongi feels as if he hasn’t been able to breathe out since he got that call - since he found out you were gone. It feels like the oxygen doesn’t reach his lungs, as though his breaths are empty, as if every time he inhales it's a waste of air.
Now that he’s in the apartment, silence and dark surrounding him, it leaves too much space for roaming thoughts. Too much room for longing and remembering, eyes involuntarily traveling to find everything that reminds him of you. He can’t stand it - the silence is much too loud.
He needs it to stop, yearns for the pain to numb until he can’t feel anything anymore. Hoping things will get better feels like sitting in a car at a broken stoplight - stuck on red.
He feels exhausted, like the weight of the world is pushing down on his shoulders. He finds himself at times, silently praying it’s all a nightmare; a painful dream his mind has created - that he’ll wake up soon enough to feel you snuggling into his chest, warm breath fanning across his bare skin.
It feels surreal, that you’re not here anymore; that you’re simply gone.
He still expects to wake up in the middle of the night, cold and shivering because you stole the covers all for yourself. As his alarm goes off in the morning, he awakes awaiting you to release a groan at the annoying sound before holding him tight, not wanting him to leave for work and let the bed turn cold next to you.
Yoongi sighs, standing up straight before kicking his shoes off. He walks further in, making his way straight towards the bedroom - leaving the rest of the apartment untouched like it has been since you were here last. He keeps his gaze down by his feet, lethargy following his every step.
He can’t bring himself to glance into the kitchen, knowing your favorite coffee cup is gonna be on the counter - left there in your hurry to work like it always was. He doesn’t wanna see the note you had left him on the fridge, the one he was reading with a smile on his lips just minutes before the world came crashing down on him - before the light broke.
He still remembers every word on that piece of paper.
‘Hi, my love~
I’ll be getting off work earlier today, would you perhaps want to take a walk to Han River and watch the sky with me?
Imagine this; you, me, some fried chicken, soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great right?
I’ll call you as soon as I can.
Sincerely, always yours.‘
He stood by that counter with the note in his hand, the biggest smile on his face as if he was a teenager who got a yes from his crush. He felt so incredibly full of love at that moment, his heart warm and fluttering as he chuckled at your lame way of asking him on a date.
Despite the long day at work, filming for their variety show at multiple locations, producing music, he felt energetic as he read the note - excited to be able to spend some time with you.
But it only lasted a short while. The warmth - the fluttering. His heart skipped a beat in his chest as his phone started ringing, expecting to see your name on the display as he grabbed it from his pocket. He was met with an unknown number, feeling his heart drop for a reason he had yet to know. Something felt wrong.
It’s probably nothing, right?
“Hello?” He answered, eyes wandering as he waited for an answer.
Right?
“Hello, this is a call from Asan Medical Center in Seoul” a woman spoke at the other end of the line, “am I speaking to Min Yoongi?”
His eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Yes?”
“Your wife has been in a terrible traffic accident, we rushed to the scene as quickly as we could but we’re sorry to inform you she didn’t make it.”
His breath hitched in his throat as the woman spoke, his hands trembling and knuckles turning white as he gripped his phone harder.
“No,” he said in disbelief, “no, she can’t be-”
“I’m so so sorry, Sir - we couldn’t save her, she passed away at the scene. Her injuries were far too severe.”
Yoongi wasn’t able to hear the last few words clearly, the woman’s voice becoming distant as his head started spinning, his knees going weak underneath him - causing him to slide down the side of the counter until he was seated against the floor.
“Sir?”
He let his hand fall limp against the floor, his phone falling along with it - eyes staring blankly before him.
That was the moment his world was flipped upside down, when everything fell apart. It was the moment when the paradise that was you, that was constant, broke, and fell to pieces right in front of him.
The painful memory is etched into his mind and trying to forget it has ended up useless - it plays on repeat whenever it gets too quiet, whenever there’s room for losing himself in the intrusive thoughts that roam his mind.
He sometimes wonders how much you were hurting, praying that you didn’t have to suffer for too long.
He trudges in the dark, entering the bedroom and naturally making his way over to the left side of the bed; his side. He falls back against the mattress after shrugging his coat off, a huff of air escaping him as his back hits the surface. It feels too big, too empty; too cold. The smell of you still lingers on the fabric, and he relishes in it - closing his eyes to let his mind picture you laying right there next to him, heat radiating from you and mattress sinking at his side.
That was the last way he saw you, the last way he felt you close, after all. As his alarm sounded through the room that same day his world turned dark, the sun was already up - shining in through open blinds the two of you forgot to pull down the night before. After silencing the sudden sound, he turned to you and saw the way you frowned, stirring from your sleep.
It was like any other day, waking up and looking over at you only to be embraced as you awakened. He saw you like that every day, and you always looked so beautiful. Your hair falling over your pillow, your eyebrows furrowing at the alarm, your lips parted ever so slightly - eyes fluttering as you stirred awake beside him.
The way the sun hit your skin that day took his breath away, he could lay there for hours just admiring your beauty - the way you glowed, your skin golden on top of white sheets.
You must be an angel; his angel.
Closing his eyes to imagine you next to him still, has become a habit he can’t break - only minutes after falling asleep to enter a state, a utopia where hurt no longer exists, in which the word goodbye is no longer known.
A place in which you are eternal.
Yoongi finds himself staring into a void as his subconscious stirs to life, body still numb - limp against the cold bed. Having done this control-your-dream thing a couple of times now, he’s gotten pretty good at having his way with the dream.
He had read about it just days after you passed, the need to see you filling every part of his being. He had read the instructions carefully, but skipped the paragraph about any possible side effects - he couldn’t care less, he just needed to see you.
He needs to see you happy. He needs to make sure you’re okay, and that every time you fade, every time he awakes to reality - there’s a smile on your lips.
He figured the void had become his side effect, the emptiness, the cold - it scared him.
He tries to control his mind, concentrating on imagining a place where you’d feel the happiest. You loved sitting by the Han River with him, watching the sunset flipping through soft pages of your favorite books. Yoongi smiles, mind going back to your letter. Your last written words.
‘You, me, fried chicken. soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great, right?’
He wants to take you there. He knows how much you looked forward to it, always cherished the time off of work the two of you had together - you made sure it was special, every moment of it.
You loved the sky, he always wondered how you were content just sitting under it and admiring its beauty for hours on end. You were one of those people who believed the theory that ‘looking at the sky seven times a day will make you happier’. Maybe it was true. He could count on two hands all the times you were negative since he met you all those years ago - perhaps the sky made you feel more positive, happier.
Yoongi arises from the void, a groan leaving his lips at the uncomfortable and solid ground underneath him. His eyes flutter open, squinting slightly at the sudden yet soft brightness of the sun shining his way - creating an orange glow in the world around.
The bustling sound of Seoul resonates through the atmosphere, groups of people scattered around the patches of green and on steps of cement along Han river - a soft beat from a nearby cafe playing in the background. He notices the smell of coffee and flowers lingering in the air as he breathes in.
It all feels so real, almost too real.
His hands come up to run over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and attempting to adjust to the light before he opens them again. Looking to his right, he sees you sitting next to him on the picnic blanket placed underneath the both of you. You’re clad in your favorite dress; a loose, white dress with daisies on it.
He’s dreaming again.
You’re here.
He’s finally able to breathe properly, the air feels light rather than heavy in his lungs. You look so beautiful, still unaware he’s admiring you. You stay seated with legs folded in front of you, your skin glowing as you read your book, flipping the pages as a soft and pleasant breeze blows through your locks. The orange sun creates a golden aura that glows around your frame, making his heart skip a beat at the beauty that is you.
It’s the first time he’s seen you here since a week before you passed, it makes him want to shout in happiness and pain all at the same time.
Trying to gain full control of the dream, Yoongi pushes the thoughts of pain away as best he can - but he feels them linger, holding onto him. He focuses on you, relaxing in your presence - feeling that sense of utopia you brought to anyone you held dear to your heart.
You shine - so bright. He swears you’re as bright as the sun. Brighter, even.
The sun. That’s what you were. His sun, his warmth, the light that brightened and lit his path, showed him the way home. With you, winter didn’t feel so cold - night never seemed too dark.
Yoongi was always a little afraid of the dark before he met you. You had laughed at him when he said he slept with a light on. He always had, ever since he was little. But with you, there was no need. You’re his safe haven - his glow in the dark.
A blissful sigh slips past his lips at the sight of you, the feeling of having you in his reach again. He misses you so much.
He can’t help but bring a hand up to lay it over the small of your back, thumb tracing circles over the fabric of your dress. You turn at the touch, looking up from your book to notice he’s awake.
“Hey you,” you smile at him. “You fell asleep for a bit.”
He just hums in response, turning to his side and reaching his arms out to you with a pout forming on his lips - beckoning you to fall into his embrace. You chuckle softly at him before putting your book down, making sure not to lose the page you’re on before laying down in his arms.
“I missed you,” you say against his neck, turning the both of you so you end up on top of him.
I missed you.
A phrase he constantly heard from you. Always. Even after a quick trip to the store, no more than twenty minutes, he’d come home to you telling him how much you missed him while reaching your arms out to embrace him. When waking up, you’d turn to him and tell him that same thing - even though he’d been right there next to you in bed all night.
It was something so simple, three words put together into something that made his heart spread with warmth, that were said over and over, to you as important as a hello - yet they meant so much to him. As he time and time again is hit with the realization he’ll never hear those words again, his heart breaks impossibly further.
“You always say that,” Yoongi groans as you shift on top of him. “I’ve been right here all along.”
You chuckle at his words, leaving a kiss by his exposed collarbone just next to the collar of his shirt before laying your head down on his chest. “But still,” you mumble, “I didn’t get to talk to you or kiss you.”
He scoffs before letting out a chuckle, his chest vibrating under you. “You’re weird.”
“No,” you pout, “I’m in love with you.”
The deepest parts of his heart turn pink with love, growing like wildfire until his whole chest is painted.
Oh, he loves you so.
Seoul sounds at a soft volume around you as you breathe each other in. Your eyes are fixed on the orange and pink hues of the sky, following fluffy clouds as you feel yourself relax against your lover’s body - his chest falling up and down slowly as he breathes - lulling you to a state of tranquility.
“I miss you too,” Yoongi says, his voice just above a whisper - the words only for your ears to hear.
You smile and lay your arms over his chest in front of you, propping your chin upon them as you look into his eyes, trying to read him and his reason for the unusually affectionate words told to you.
“You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad,” you snicker.
“I’m not,” he defends, showing no signs of being anything less than serious, eyes locked with yours as his fingers brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I miss you so much.”
You find his words rather strange, considering the circumstances. Having been by his side for several years, you’ve come to know him inside out - and you know he prefers showing his love and appreciation towards you through actions, whether small or big, rather than using words. That’s just how he is.
Now and then, he’ll take you out on a date, and on those special occasions he’ll tell a few words but that’s it; and that’s enough. He doesn’t have to do more than that for you to know. You’re aware he loves you just as much as you love him, even though he might not voice it as often - and you know that just as thankful you are to have him, he is to have you.
Showing it, he does in the smallest ways. When he reaches for you first thing in the morning, calls you to ask if you want anything from the store when he’s on his way home, mindlessly running his fingers along your skin as you sit close watching the sunset, placing soft kisses on your shoulder as you count stars after the blanket of night is thrown over the world - him, the moon and its stars left your only light in the dark.
He occasionally makes you dinner or buys you a new book, saying ‘it’s nothing’ as you thank him, which you’ve learned is code for ‘I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you’. These actions, yet so simple and small, mean just as much to you as the few times he’s said the words out loud.
To speak them this casually, sitting by Han River with people around, with tired eyes and lazy kisses, is not like him at all.
Yoongi, however, is aware this is temporary - a mare dream in his head. He knows this is far from what his reality has now become without you, that you’ll be gone again when he wakes up in your bedroom, in a bed turned cold.
But he’s willing to take the pain of that realization again if it means he gets to see you - if it means he can feel you next to him again. If it means he gets to show you how much he loves you just once more before he has to wake up to the nightmare that has become his life, then he’ll do it all over again.
He wants to say to you what he didn’t have the chance to, wants to show you how much you mean to him every moment that allows him to.
Yoongi feels a tear escape his eye and roll down his cheek as he’s brought back to the present, looking at you through blurred vision; admiring every beautiful feature. You notice it as it sparkles in the sun, turning golden as though there’s sweet honey running down his skin.
“My love,” you whisper, your heart squeezing at the sight of him sad, “what’s wrong?”
He shakes his head at your question, bottom lip quivering slightly.
“Don’t be sad,” you say softly, fingers brushing through the hair behind his ear.
“I’m not sad, I just-” he inhales a shaky breath, wiping the stray tear away as a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, “I’m just happy you’re here with me.”
A slight frown settles across your features, your fingertips running over his face softly, skimming from his cheekbone down to his bottom lip - your eyes following in its trail before looking into his warm brown ones, creating their own sunset as the sky reflects in them.
“I’ll always be here.”
His heart feels heavy as he hears your words, knowing that in reality, it’s not completely true. He knows he’ll wake up in a few hours and turn over to feel the bed is empty, waiting to hear your groan and feel your arm fall over his waist, only to realize you’re gone all over again. He’ll have to go about his day as normal, distracting himself with work. He’ll drive home just to walk straight to the bedroom, waiting to see you in his dreams again.
He feels as if he's stuck in the same space of time, reliving the day just after he found out about your passing, almost like he’s on a constant loop. Stuck on a circling path that’s never-ending - like the earth orbits around the sun, stuck traveling on the path encompassing it.
It’s a constant cycle of euphoria, realization, and reality - a nightmare - and it hurts. Oh, how it hurts. But he’s not sure he’ll ever want to step out of that pattern, ever. If it means he still gets to see you, the pain means nothing to him, he’ll put up with it - no doubt he will.
He’s much aware he can’t live in this false reality forever, but for now, this is how he’ll survive - this is the only way for him to get through this, the only thing that will keep him going.
Yoongi hugs you tightly as he turns, ending up on his side with you next to him - your chest pressed against his. “I know you will,” he says, leaving a quick kiss on your lips.
He hums after pulling away, waiting no more than a few seconds before leaning back in to feel your lips against his again - making you close your eyes and kiss him back. His lips stay pressed against yours for longer this time before he yet again pulls away with another sound of approval coming from his throat.
You smile as your eyes flutter open again, looking at Yoongi as he licks his lips.
“You like it, don’t you?” You say as his eyes open to lock with yours.
He rubs his lips together before answering you, “like what?”
“My lip balm.”
“I don’t.”
He does.
“No?”
“It’s too sticky,” he mutters, “I don’t like it.”
“Yes, you do,” you chuckle, “I saw how you licked your lips just now.”
He looks at you, no response coming from him at your contention.
“Cat got your tongue?” You tease.
He huffs at you, gummy smile stretching across his lips as he turns away from you to lay on his back. “Shut up.”
You laugh, sitting up to look out over the river - the horizon behind skyscrapers and buildings now a deep orange, beautifully fading into the peach hues higher above.
Yoongi follows you up, sitting next to you as he runs a hand through his hair. He looks at you, following your line of gaze to see the sky and all its tones. He must admit it’s beautiful, almost breathtaking, the vibrant colors laying across the sky - but as he looks back to you, he knows nothing’s ever looked more beautiful than you do right at this moment.
As you turn to see Yoongi shamelessly admiring you, he doesn’t bother averting his gaze even as you catch him.
“What’s that look for?”
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, his head shaking ever so slightly as though he’s in disbelief.
“Ahh, stop.” You reach over to nudge his shoulder, despite the smile on your lips at the compliment.
“You are,” he says, his tone matter-of-factly with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I can’t believe you,” you laugh, “since when did you get so cheesy?”
He doesn’t say anything else, a silence settling over the two of you as you stay eyeing each other.
He’s a soft boy, after all. Under the rapping, dark, deep voice stuttering over beats, the black clothes, the intimidating energy he radiated, he is soft. Sometimes you get random urges to boop his nose or squish his cheeks because he’s so adorable, but maybe that’s just you being weird.
“Thank you,” you say softly after a few seconds, blood rushing to your cheeks.
You cherish and admire him, and with the amount of love that fills your being - you swear there are hearts in your eyes.
Yoongi notices the way your cheeks have been dusted pink, his heart warming at the sight, fluttering in his ribcage as your hand finds his - interlocking your fingers together.
“Come here,” he mumbles, pulling you closer.
You happily oblige and settle in front of him, sitting in between his spread out legs, your back leaning against his chest behind you.
He lays his arms around your waist, placing kisses along your exposed shoulder. You relax against him, head falling to rest on his shoulder - letting your eyes fall close. Your hands find his as they lay across your stomach, your fingers skimming soothingly over the back of his hand.
He leaves a few kisses on top of your head before hugging you closer to his front. You almost melt against him, but a sudden shatter in front of you causes a squeal to escape your mouth, tensing as you press further into Yoongi at the unexpected noise.
You see glass scattered on the cement path in front of where you’re seated, alcohol pungent in the air as it paints the ground dark, liquid spreading. You look over to see a drunk man, who had fallen to the ground after the throw - two police-men now surrounding him.
The bottle lays broken on the ground, once a perfectly intact piece now fragmented into hundreds - impossible to fix.
Yoongi is startled as well, the sudden shatter of glass against the cement causing him to lose control of the moment. Darker thoughts start making their way back into his mind and as his gaze falls upon the pieces scattered across the ground, he can’t help but think of the broken utopia that resides without you.
His grip on the dream feels as if it’s fading slowly, and you feel more distant to Yoongi although still right there with him - until you speak again, bringing him back to present - though he’s not in full control of the dream anymore.
“Was it bad?”
Your words confuse him, and he feels his heart getting heavier. He lost it. He lost the moment.
“What do you mean?”
Your mood has changed, he senses it instantly. You slump against him, looking down at your lap as you run your fingertips over the back of his hand.
“When I passed,” you elaborate, “how bad was it?”
Yoongi’s breath is caught in his throat, now aware of what you’re talking about. He releases a sigh at the topic, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He wanted this to be the perfect dream, but instead, he let you down.
After no answer, you shift and turn so you’re facing him. You look at him, any trace of a smile on his face gone - his eyes dull.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” you whisper, taking both his hands in your own.
Yoongi feels as though the air thins around him, looking down at your intertwined hands as his eyes start stinging with tears. His hands suddenly feel cold on your hold.
He knows you’re right. He knows.
“It’s the only way I get to see you anymore,” he whispers, still avoiding your gaze as he continues, “it’s the only way for me to tell you what I didn’t have the chance to.”
You look at him, heart breaking at the sorrow that resides within him, how dull he seems.
His voice is unsteady as he speaks, his hands fiddling with yours. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
“Yoongi-”
“God,” he lets out a chuckle, though it’s broken. “Your note, I read it just before I found out you-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, breath heavy in his lungs - throat closing in.
His hands leave yours to tug at his hair, his head falling forward to rest against his palms - his body suddenly weak, his heart frail.
“You were so excited to go here that day, weren’t you? And then you-”
“Yoongi,” you stop him from going further, “we’re here now, aren’t we? It’s okay.”
You grab his hands again, trying to calm him.
“But we’re not forever,” he says, now looking into your eyes with blurred vision as tears threaten to fall, “This isn’t real, I’ll wake up in a cold bed, and you won’t be there with me.”
“I will, even though you might not see me. I’ll always stay by your side, I’ll always listen when something is weighing you down, I’ll give you all the energy I possibly can when you’re feeling low. My hand is always in yours, even though you might not feel it.”
He exhales an erratic breath, head falling onto your shoulder.
“I’m nothing without you,” he mumbles against the skin of your neck, “you were my everything.”
Your heart breaks as you hear his words. What could you have done to prevent all this? Could you have taken a different turn? These thoughts roam your mind, a sorrow inside you because you caused this - because you left him.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning into him.
“Don’t,” he says, “this wasn’t your fault.”
Seoul fades around you, every person disappearing until it’s just the two of you left; you, Yoongi, and the orange sun.
“Promise me you’ll try to get better.”
He doesn’t say anything, his breath hot against your neck.
“I know it’s gonna be hard, and that it’ll take time - but please find happiness again, enjoy work, laugh with your friends, watch the sunset, meet new people,” you speak, eyes watching the sky as you hold him close. “I’ll be with you every step of the way until we see each other again, I’ll hug you in the morning, I’ll tell you how much I miss you, I’ll kiss you - but only after I’ve applied my lip balm.”
He lets out a soft chuckle, his tears falling onto the skin by your collarbone.
“Promise you’ll never leave.” He sits up straight to look at you.
You cup his face, wiping tears away with your thumbs. “I will never leave you, I promise.”
He leans into your touch, more tears falling as he closes his eyes.
“I’ll be your angel.”
“You always have been,” he whispers as a small smile settles on his lips.
You tear up at his words. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
Yoongi decided the sun would never set that night, and you sat watching the sky for hours - enjoying having each other close for the last time in a long time. At one moment, you had pointed at the sky and said ‘like the clouds, all will pass - you’ll be okay, my love’, and those words comforted him more than he ever thought they would.
You promised each other not to cry as the colors started to fade, as the light slowly turned dark. Instead, you held each other close and made sure to share one last kiss before the moment was gone.
Yoongi woke up that morning, and his bed didn’t feel so cold anymore. You were there, although indiscernible, he knew you were lying right beside him - one arm coming up to hold him close.
Just like you told him, you’d be there when he woke up.
He still missed you, and at times he felt he couldn’t breathe at all - but you let him know everything will be alright, that eventually, everything’s going to be okay. He had a long road ahead of him until that day would arrive, but you’d walk with him - and that was all he needed to keep going.
And for the first time in a long time, he smiled. The blinds that had been down since you’d been gone, he pulled up that day to look at the sky, which was clouded and gray, but it didn’t bother him anymore.
For,
with you
the sky will always be beautiful.
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