#(I'll wait and see how well I cope with day seven's feelings

[zilabee]

I love Paul starting out the day with Another Day because that's what I sing to myself while I open the episode file and try to find the right day, and wonder what mundane terrible poignantly sad things will happen this time.

But it's day six, so we're okay. A small oasis where all Paul wants is to impress Linda with how hilarious he is, and all John wants is to impress Linda with how easily he can make Paul laugh and draw him away from her. It all adds up lovely.

Well, good afternoon, I'd like to welcome you to the rehearsal rooms of The Beatles' entourage and their fifty press officers, where they're just breaking into a number called 'Across the Unicorn'

George's second breakfast. John's filthy hair. Ringo saying he's gone off the boat idea despite having literally never been on the boat idea. "Do you have access to real tea?" Yoko and Linda chatting. "Hello Paul, it's me, Tuesday." Linda's shy looks when she notices they're filming her. Saluting Elvis. Primal affirmation. "Only if you ask nicely." Yoko's chair dance. George's terrible drumming. Johns continuity clothes. "Commonwealth" "Yes" "I feel the most relaxed around Ring." ratatatatatatatatatatatatatata. Glyn and George's coats vying for dominance. "Can we have some more tea Kevin." Once more with Felix!

(I can't remember if we have audio tapes of Linda and Yoko today but I feel like their conversation must be Yoko flooded with relief at finally having a real human being to talk to about just how INSANELY BORING AND DREADFUL the past five days have been. I don't know how she did it. I love her, with her notebooks and her papers, and her desperately trying to find SOMETHING she can do while her boring boyfriend and his stupid band piss about arguing at nothings. Her whole conversation with Linda just looks like someone who is so ready to release every ridiculous thing a man has said to her over the last week to someone who will understand.)

John: There's a house by you which I fancy. Ringo: Lloyd George's? John: Yeah. So I'll pop in for a cup of tea if I come round, Saturday or Sunday... it sounds all right, it sounds like only about the same size as Weybridge. It was built for him in about forty acres as well. Linda: Forty acres! John: And about three lakes. You know like all joined together. So sounds good. £45000. [...] You press a button and iron gates shut on all the windows, you know, in case they get in.

Honestly though, my favourite thing today, is probably Paul suddenly filling the room with the Long and Winding Road, just sitting there and playing four notes, and the whole feeling of it suddenly existing when it didn't. I know it's the nature of music, but the nature of music is fucking magical. And something about how he doesn't even know the words yet - with that and Let It Be - there's something so tender about it that I can't put into words. (also his trying to make Carry That Weight into a lighthearted comedy song about everyday silly little troubles, while it waits for him, desperate to be more properly understood.)

#get back #get back january #look at me #having day six feelings on day six #(I'll wait and see how well I cope with day seven's feelings #before I feel too pleased with myself) #get back words

[wheels-of-despair]

Worth It | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

{<-Previous} [Seven Dreadful Days] {Next->}

Summary: Ralph has to go away for a few days, and neither of you are sure you'll survive your time apart. Words: 1.6k

Ralph liked Mondays, because on Mondays, he got to reunite with the love of his life after two long days apart. And after several days of being sick and bed-bound, he was even more eager to resume regular meetings in the park. Desperate to get out of his room, he bathed and dressed early, then headed down for breakfast.

He was nibbling on a piece of fruit and listening to Victoria ramble about a party he'd missed that weekend when Langley came in with a tray of mail. Victoria went through each piece, tossing them aside when they appeared uninteresting, until she found one that caught her eye. She ripped into it with a letter opener.

"Oh, Cousin Madge is getting married! Who would marry that fat cow? This must be a mistake. Surely Uncle Hal sees that this suitor is only after the family fortune!" She looked at Ralph expectantly, waiting for him to echo her sentiments, but he merely shrugged. Turning back to the invitation, she continued relaying its contents. "The wedding is to be held on Saturday… well they haven't given us much notice! I wonder if she's already pregnant? Not that anyone would be able to tell!"

Ralph sits silently, remembering that he'll need to return to his room to fetch your book of fairy tales before meeting you in the park today. He'd finished the whole thing, even re-read the ones you read to him, and was eager to discuss his favorites.

"Ralph!" Victoria snaps. "Are you listening? I said we'll leave tonight, and come back on Monday. It says they'll have a hundred guests and numerous activities, all week long!"

"Tonight?" Ralph asks.

"Yes, Ralph!" She points at the postmark on the tattered envelope. "It was mailed weeks ago, it must've gotten lost. I'm so glad it found us in time, this shall be great fun!"

Ralph somehow doubted that.

"I have some news…" Ralph began hesitantly. You untangled yourself from him, sitting back to pay attention. It had been a warm reunion, as all Mondays were, but you were both exceptionally happy to be back on your bench where you belonged. Not that you'd minded cuddling with him in his bed, although you hoped next time, it wouldn't be because he was sick.

"I have to go away for a while," he said, looking at you apologetically. You tried not to show your devastation over losing him for even a single day. "Victoria and I have to travel north for a cousin's wedding."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Seven days."

"Seven days," you repeat, heart already feeling heavier.

"We leave tonight."

"Tonight?" you ask breathlessly.

"The invitation got lost in the mail, it wasn't delivered until today. I don't particularly want to go, but it's expected of me. I'd much rather stay here with you," he explains quickly. You nod in understanding.

You hadn't spent more than two days apart from him since Valentine's Day. How are you supposed to cope with seven Ralphless days? He holds your hands in his, and leans his forehead against yours.

"Do you remember, when I was sick, you said that one day you'd never have to leave me again?"

"Yes," you whisper, willing the tears in your eyes to not spill over.

"It's all I can think about," he whispers back. "Perhaps when I return… we'll finally tell everyone? If I survive this week, I'll never want to spend a single day away from you ever again."

You pull back and stare into his big brown eyes, genuine and full of love. Unable to find words, you nod. His face breaks into a grin and he pulls you closer. You quite liked the thought of never having to say goodbye to your Ralph ever again.

Victoria was having the time of her life. She'd spent most of her time at the wedding with her tongue down a man's throat. A man who was probably a distant cousin, but if Victoria didn't care enough to find out, Ralph didn't either. He wanted to go home. Someone was waiting for him. Someone who would be happy to see him again. Someone who loved him. He smiled. Ralph smiled a lot these days.

While the other wedding guests played croquet and gossiped over tea and whatever else guests do at a week-long wedding, Ralph sat by himself and thought about you. What were you doing now? What were you reading? Had those mysterious flowers near your bench bloomed yet? Had you identified them? Did you miss him? He happily allowed these thoughts to consume his every waking moment, and was even happier when you appeared in his dreams as well.

He knew there was no sense in sending you letters, because he'd be back home before they arrived - and what if they were intercepted by your mother? - but he wrote them anyway. He found that when he appeared to be busy writing, people left him alone with his thoughts. He poured out his heart into pages that seemingly filled themselves. He'd give them to you when he returned.

The day before the wedding, a servant approached him.

"Sir?" Ralph looked up with a glare, wondering who would dare disturb his letter-writing.

"I have a letter for you, sir." Ralph accepted the envelope with confusion… and then his heart nearly burst.

You'd written him. He'd only been gone a few days, and you'd written to him. He ripped into the envelope and pulled out several pages covered in your handwriting. He caught a whiff of your perfume on the paper. He wasn't sure whether to read them or hug them, but opted for holding them close while reading them.

My Dearest Ralph,

I started writing this letter as soon as I walked in and sat down, and plan to mail it first thing in the morning, in hopes that it finds you in time.

I know we've only just parted, but I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you. I promised to pine, and pine I shall. As soon as I finish writing this letter. For now, I am happy and filled with thoughts of being with you again.

My life has taken quite a turn since that fateful Valentine's Day dance I didn't even want to attend. I never thought I'd feel this way about another person, let alone one who'd been right under my nose for so long. I lie awake at night and wonder, if we had talked sooner, would we be married by now? Would I be there with you, instead of alone in my childhood bedroom?

I have felt more happiness during these last few weeks with you, than in all my life before. You are my first thought upon waking, and the last thing on my mind before drifting off to sleep. I eagerly await a time in which you will be there, beside me, always.

You are the most wonderful person I've ever known. (And the most handsome!) You are sweet, you are kind, you are funny and clever and generous. I have never experienced a dull moment with you. I don't think such a thing exists. You are such a force of life, just being near you may be enough to sustain me. Never change, Ralph, and never listen to anyone who says you're anything short of perfect. They are wrong. (Especially Victoria. Please refer to this letter if she says anything mean to you while you're away.)

Now that I know your love, I don't know how I'm going to live without you, even for seven dreadful days. I fear this time apart will break me. Should I perish, know that I loved you more than life itself, and that I demand that you mourn me for at least one full year before moving on. If you move on too quickly, I shall haunt you forever.

I've decided to continue going to the park each day, though it won't be the same without you. Word of your sudden departure has spread, and I fear Mother and Father may connect the dots if my dear Mary happened to disappear the same week you did. No, I shall go, and sit on our bench alone, and spend my afternoons writing to you. I won't bother sending more, as they probably won't reach you in time, but I'll give them to you when you get home. An official record of my pining. I take my promises very seriously, Mr. Penbury.

I came up with a plan for Operation Ruin My Mother's Life over the weekend - and it's quite a good one, if I do say so myself - but didn't want to waste our last day together talking about that. I seem to recall my lips being otherwise occupied anyway.

I'll check the train schedule this week, and will be at the station to greet you when you arrive. The thought of delaying our reunion by even a minute makes me want to throw myself down the stairs. I'll be there waiting, but I warn you: It is quite possible that once I get my arms around you again, I'll never let you go.

I shall continue missing you terribly, until you're back with me where you belong. Then we'll break the news, and never be forced to suffer like this again. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

All my love,

A lipstick mark was left instead of a signature. Ralph lifted the page to his lips and kissed it back, imagining you were here with him. No one had ever said such nice things to him before. And you were writing to him every day as well, just like he was for you! He had half a mind to hire a car to take him home immediately.

But he stayed. It was only three more days. And then, you'd never have to be apart for that long ever again.

#writings of despair #ralph is worth it #ralph penbury #ralph penbury x you #ralph penbury x reader #ralph timewasters

[peculiarxafternoon]

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙥𝙖𝙘: 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠

hello hello! welcome to my second reading on this account! before we start i would like to thank you again for the love on the last one, i am so grateful <33

this reading is a reality check! now i do have a LOT of mercury in my chart, and a beautiful mercury in taurus, so i may come off as blunt. I'll try to be gentle, since this is meant to be a sort of wake up call of what's happening around you right now. take a deep breath and focus on your current reality. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only !

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome !

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards !

pile 1

(cards: seven of wands rx, ten of wands rx, two of swords, nine of swords rx, ten of pentacles, four of swords, judgement, the emperor, gemini, taurus, mars)

hello, pile 1! quick question, have you been avoiding the people around you? your energy feels very blocked, like you're dealing with a lot of things at the same time. you're trying to (re)gain control over a situation and it's taking a lot out of you.

i see you holding onto grudges or burdens from the past that don't serve you anymore. some of you may even have that martyr mentality or believe that the more wounded you look, the more people will want to be around you in order to help you out. thing is, that's not how it works, love.

it's time for you to stop whining about problems you can solve with the snap of your fingers. you are being represented by the emperor yet you see yourself as meek or helpless. why? did someone make you believe that you aren't powerful enough to handle the life you chose?

there are beautiful souls around you that want to help you on this journey. it could be your spiritual team or chosen family, or both, depending on how you see it. yet you have put yourself into this mode of stillness, of pausing and ignoring the problem until it goes away. some of you may even use sleep as a coping mechanism, or may not reply to messages from your loved ones.

it's time for you to make a decision. do you want to continue on this path of blindly navigating through life, or do you want to deal with the issues of the past (or even present) and move on to a path that serves you best? your dreams may be a big help when it comes to dealing with this situation, too.

mars is urging you to find what you're passionate about and start devoting time to it. do you want to learn a second language? do it! do you want to start working out? do it! do you want to take a dance class, or cook, or go for a jog in the middle of the day? do it! you have so much fire inside you, pile 1, yet you're allowing yourself to burn in the smallest of sparks. stop caging yourself, and start ignoring what others may think as well. you're not here to please or serve anyone. you're here to learn your lessons, and you're just taking the long way there by staying stagnant. go gettem, pile 1!

generally, don't forget what you're made of. if you couldn't handle your past, you wouldn't have been through it. if situations didn't have lessons for you, they wouldn't happen. you may not agree, but everything happens for a reason. you need to trust the butterfly effect, but most importantly, you need to trust yourself. one small step can change the course of your life for the better without you even realising it <3

potential placements: gemini or taurus in the big three, gemini venus, taurus mercury, fire signs but mostly aries.

pile 2

(cards: king of swords the star x2, four of swords x2, the tower rx, knight of pentacles, knight of swords rx, six of wands rx, eight of pentacles rx, uranus, cancer, leo)

hello, pile 2! how have you been lately? do you need to take a break? yeah? why haven't you taken it yet? there's quite a few things that i would like to say for this pile, so buckle up! first of all, you may need to take a chakra test or do some chakra focused meditation because some of you may have an overactive throat chakra. which in turn may lead to you speaking before thinking, oversharing, or simply just talking too much. there's no need for you to feel uncomfortable in stillness and silence, love.

it's a bit funny how you seem the opposite of pile 1. driven, ambitious (extremely so, may i add), willing to overwork yourself all in the name of achieving your best life. which is great and all, don't get me wrong, but where in your notion weekly plan do you have the "take a break" section?

you have big dreams, pile 2, and i am so unbelievably proud of you for going after them, or working hard to achieve what you want, but you will not be able to enjoy it if you can't pace yourself in the process. recognition is great! being renown for what you have created, for your blood sweat and tears is what most of us opt for, but you can't get that if you keep exhausting yourself like this.

in fact, some of you may even get mad at yourselves for not getting something right in the first try. that gifted kid mentality. you're doing great as you are, but not trying at all is the same as trying too much. also, refusing help will just slow you down, so if you need it ask for it!

to calm your overachiever-marina and the diamonds listener-former gifted kid self, i would like to tell you that whatever it is you wish for is coming towards you whether you want it or not. you're almost there but please make sure to enjoy the ride!

leo wants you to take pride in your progress so far. to feel enough with what you have already achieved, and focus on the way you glow now. you are a star, but you can't shine properly if you keep pressuring yourself to shine brighter, faster, better. i know this probably sounds frustrating, but that's life. don't forget to also nurture your emotions in this process, and take care of your inner world <3

potential placements: aquarius or cancer in the big 3, moon or uranus dominant, pisces, leo.

pile 3

(cards: three of wands rx, ace of cups, strength rx, the high priestess, knight of cups rx, four of swords rx, six of swords rx x2, the hermit rx, two of pentacles, virgo, aries, libra)

hello, pile 3! you guys have been the most confusing pile so far. like your energy is all over the place and you're trying to find time for everything while also taking care of yourself and trying to keep balance. you're like a working mom who tries to raise a child while having a clean home and a bit of personal life all together.

have you lost faith in yourself? was there a time when you had big dreams and they, for whatever reason, seized to exist?

i feel like throughout whatever is going through, the worst thing you're doing is ignoring your spiritual gifts. which is funny because the high priestess is staring me down as we speak.

there's some sort of journey that was cut in half, probably a relationship you saw a great future in but it ended up not working out, and now you're in this weird limbo of holding that person as close as you can while trying to let go. you've got the "everything reminds me of them" vibe one moment and the "i don't care about them, I'm moving on" the next.

i know your intuition is telling you to move on, i know you know you need to move on, but for some reason you decide to reminisce and weep over a situation that doesn't! serve you! anymore! and we both know that there's a glorious new beginning emotionally for you, if you decide to move on, but you're ignoring that too! pile 3, get your big boy/girl/person pants on, and get to work!

!TW! on a more serious note, some of you may be in an abusive relationship or situation that you feel helpless in. it may seem like whatever has happened will stay with you forever, and you're doomed to carry this weight on you for the rest of your life. pile 3, if that is the case you're not alone! please talk to the people you feel closest to about it and ask for their help! none of this is your fault and i know for a fact that you can get out of this situation, no matter what it is. !TW!

you are very strong and capable of moving on, pile 3! your intuitive gifts are going to be excellent help in what your next move is going to be. remember: magic is all around us. if you practice witchcraft, or if you want to get into that world, simple protection spells can be you charging a bracelet, or taking a warm shower, or wearing a bandana when you go out. don't try too hard and you'll see that you are surrounded by a beautiful universe. the world is practically clay at your fingertips, mould it into what fits you best!

libra wants you to weigh out the positives and negatives of this situation, cry it out, thank the universe for the opportunity and let go. get yourself out there, go for coffee with your friends or treat yourself with some takeout. maybe compliment a stranger! you never know when you'll make your next friend. also, it's very important for you to not isolate yourself through this and try to socialise as much as possible, even if you're forcing it. i have found that it helps my mood change tremendously, when i surround myself with fun people and try to have fun as well <3

potential placements: virgo or aries in the big 3, mercury in aries, mars in virgo, pisces, libra.

! don't copy or repost my work !

#pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #astrology #tarot #tarot reading #kpop #ateez #mingi #{🌱 pick a card 🌱}

[actias-android]

#30 day nonhuman challenge

Yeah, okay, I'll bite. Not that I ever remember I'm doing this sort of thing, I'll probably forget soon, but meh! First three since I'm starting late. Plus one because I'm sure I'll forget...

Also, disclaimer, I don't call myself Otherkin, I don't particularly identify as Otherkin. There's a community association there that I'm not interested in having, and a lot of arbitrary rules and categorizations that have no bearing on my actual lived experiences. I'm just what I am. Also, what I am is fully human as well as fully fae, because I have two bodies: one here, and one on the astral, and I inhabit either/both.

1. I'm a faery. Couldn't tell you exactly what sort, if there's even a name for it. But I'm astrally about three feet tall at most, fluffy, and very much like a humanoid luna moth.

2. I don't see being nonhuman as a thing that's related to 'coming out' or not. I don't need to come out as a person who likes French toast, or as an artist, or as autistic. I might tell someone about those things, but I don't see it as a binary in/out of some closet. There's situations and people to which it's relevant, and there are those to which it's not. That's all.

That being said, my partner and a surprising number of my friends do know. They're quite chill about it.

3. It was some years ago, in my earlier 30s, and I was sitting in a particular tree that I quite like and meditating with no real goal. I suddenly had a very powerful vision of my astral appearance, but no idea what to make of it. It just struck me like a bolt of lightning with no further explanation.

A day or two later, someone on Tumblr's witchy side mentioned that if anyone could spare them some energy, they would appreciate it, and I thought, well, I can, I'll give it a try. Maybe I'll go deliver it to their astral 'home.' I hadn't succeeded in astral travel for a good seven or eight years, but I tried anyway. Didn't work until I thought, wait, what about that other form I saw...is that something I could be?

And then boom, I was the fae-thing I saw, and astral travel suddenly became ridiculously easy to accomplish. (For a while, at least, it wasn't a permanent free pass but it was a definite breakthrough.) Since then, if I want to do some astral work, I just close my eyes here, do a little mental reshuffling and ritual, and open them over there. It does persist here in certain ways, also: energetically I read as fae, strongly human-based magical paradigms often fail or are downright hostile towards me, and spirits sometimes don't even realize I have a human life because I just seem entirely fae to them aside from a weird human 'smell' if they're perceptive enough.

4. I used to. It was a good starting point. But I don't now, no. There's no particular community that I identify with, other than maybe the physically-local Otherkin community which is small and can actually properly be called a community as a result.

I'm not happy with how dilute the online Otherkin scene is. And I don't mean because of Tumblr/TikTok kinnies either. I really couldn't care less, let them do their thing. I mean that I have very little in common with most Otherkin, even less with fictionkin, and get on better with witches and pagans in general if I had to pick a group. I don't see the point in all the endless debates and ever-finer categorizations. I don't feel any particular kinship with psychological Otherkin either, as I'm from an entirely magical paradigm and that seems increasingly rare. I have a lot of very grave concerns with (especially younger fictionkin, but I've seen all ages and groups do it) using nonhuman identity as a way to not even cope with, but completely rebrand and thereby deny deep mental issues. And as far as I care, the eternal debate about whether being Otherkin can have any element of voluntary choice or not is happening on another planet from me, because the very question itself is based in nonsense from where I'm standing.

So, no. Otherkin is the closest proxy to a community I've found, but it's ultimately not a group identity that I get along with. Before I disavowed it, I used to stress about whether or not I "counted," considering how easy it was to say "well if you have any choice at all in the master then you just aren't real Otherkin," and then I realized that giving random assholes on the internet the means to revoke your communal identity is a stupid idea and the only winning move is to just not play.

So I don't. I'm just fae. That can't be taken from me. (Though I could reject it myself, but I don't see why I would.)

(There, remembered to actually make a separate post and spare poor OP my editorializing.)

#30 day nonhuman challenge #otherkin #nonhuman #fae

[rnufharose]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears - Chapter 7

Words: 2.6k

Trigger Warnings: There will be violence and attempted rape in this chapter so please read at your discretion!

Songs used in this chapter: Señorita by (G)I-DLE

︻デ═一 ♥

Sehun pulled up his car by the curb a block away from The Magic Shop, which was no doubt having good business tonight. He went to the club for a drink but the staff wasn't acquainted with him, having frequented the place once in a while. He knew the seven men that ran the place were good people who did honest work—men that could have been angels who were sent to shine their light on this dark city.

He locked his car and tucked his keys into the pocket of his slacks, walking toward the restaurant and bar, hearing the soothing pop music and beautiful voices from inside, the tables occupied and the employees bringing food and drinks. The raven-haired male pushed through the door and made for the counter, taking a seat on the stool and speaking toward the silver-haired female, "Can I get something for the top shelf?"

"You got it," the beautiful woman bowed and began to make his drink. He turned the stool to face the stage, balancing his chin over his knuckles, listening to the pink-haired male with the soft voice and his blue-haired friend who complimented his singing with a deep, husky tone.

Jimin and Taehyung were the ones on stage, and they had decided to sing a more chill song, and once again, their performance never ceased to the amaze the patrons, who gazed in awe and smiled from ear to ear, forgetting the troubles of the outside. It still made Sehun bewildered as to how these men were capable of making these people happy. Though he knew once they left and that security was gone until they returned, he felt they gave the patrons a sense of hope.

That maybe, one day, the violence would end.

Haneul was in the back, touching up her makeup and fixing her hair while she stared into the small mirror that resided on the desk, putting her eyeliner and lipstick away. She was in a black dress that stopped in the middle of her thighs, her hair cascading down her back and a dainty necklace around her neck. On her small feet were heels of the same color. After Jimin and Taehyung would finish their song, she would be taking the stage.

"Why don't you sing tonight?" Jungkook suggested, to which she shook her head and turned away, ready to take a tray of food toward another table.

"I don't think anyone wants to hear a sad person sing," she said.

"Don't you remember the last few times you came here?" He pressed. "Everyone loves to listen to you sing. Your voice is special, Haneul. One day, someone is going to listen to it everyday."

"You and the others already listen to it everyday, Jungkookie," the brunette turned away from him, walking ahead.

"That's not what I meant," the slightly older boy exclaimed. "Just one song won't hurt! Please?!"

Here she was now—having accepted his request to sing despite her reluctance, staring into the mirror. She wasn't sure how this would make her feel better. If anything, it made her feel helpless and sad. Halmeoni didn't get to hear me sing that day... I was too busy... if only I had sat by the piano that day, then maybe...

Her eyes were glazed over, but she blinked away whatever was stinging at her waterline.

"Noona?" Huening Kai stood by the doorway, wearing his waiter's uniform, his long brown hair a wild mess of fluffy waves. "Are you feeling okay?"

She caught his eyes in the mirror, quickly wiping her eyes and giving a nod, standing and smoothing our her dress for a moment, "Yeah... I'm okay. Just about finished getting ready, that's all."

"That's good," the boy grinned. "You look very pretty. It's been a while since we heard your voice."

"Well, you'll get to hear it tonight," she replied with soft laughter.

"Great! Because we all want you to sing for us more often," the boy chirped. "You haven't been here in a long time and... The Magic Shop's magic came from your voice."

She was pulled out of her trance, eyeing him endearingly and walking toward him, patting his head, "You sweet boy. If it makes you feel better, I'll sing more."

"Yes, that would make me much better!" Huening Kai exclaimed with excitement. "I really want to know what you'll be singing today."

"You'll see," she sang, walking past him and down the hall to where the bar resided.

Jimin and Taehyung got off the stage as the floor buzzed with applause, smiling at the brunette as she approached the stage, "It's all yours," Jimin patted her elbow. "Knock them dead, will you?"

"Yes, sing this new song," Taehyung encouraged her.

"Thanks. You two did great up there," she squeezed their hands gently, smiling half-heartedly as she took the stage, a pop song mixed with Latino beats filing the restaurant, the lights going dim and now lit red and purple. Haneul grabbed the mic and faced the audience, who all watched with intent.

The Magic Shop's mysterious female singer had returned with a new song.

Sehun's eyes widened with surprise. He didn't think he would run into her here. Even so, seeing her here made it a lot easier for him to protect her. Now he knew what those old ladies meant when she said she had friends here—she was close with the owners of this restaurant.

He couldn't help but stare, admiring the way her hair fell down like a silk curtain last her shoulders and toward her lower back, the black dress hugging her thin, petite frame in all the right places. She wore a soft colored lipstick and eyeliner, and though still had that despondent expression and her chocolate eyes didn't have that sparkle, she looked as beautiful as that photo back in her grandmother's house.

The intro music came to a halt, and the female backup dancers and chorus joined her on stage—five other women who were dressed in similar black dresses like Haneul's, and she raised the mic to her lips, singing,

[Haneul]

Why are you staring at me like that?

Without giving you anything

I don't avoid my eyes, ah

Why do you come so close?

We don't know much yet

What should I call you?

A little bit fast

Whatever I don't care, I don't care, I don't care (vamos)

Something's even worse

Whatever I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay

What should I do?

Come here

(Hey señor)

Please come to me

Hold me tight

I want to know about you

I fell in love with you

I don't know, it's true

Just love you so, love you so, love you so

Please call me

Why do you laugh so much?

My heart keeps coming to you (vamos)

I have to send you (ay)

Just focus on me

Is it important for others?

Hold me in full, I don't even have a name

Please tell me

(Hey señor)

Please come to me

Hold me tight

I want to know about you

I fell in love with you

I don't know, it's true?

Just love you so, love you so, love you so

Please call me

She moved with such grace, her voice something to behold, and Sehun hadn't touched his drink ever since she stepped on that stage. He found her voice to be soothing—something that he needed to help him forget about the darkness that lingered and the work he did. Though he was numb to it, he could feel the tension in his shoulders leaving him, and he was completely enchanted, pretending this song was for him.

"She sings beautifully, right?" The silver-haired woman behind the counter had noticed him staring, and he broke out of his trance, meeting her chestnut eyes.

"Huh?" Sehun asked, his expression harboring confusion. "O-Oh... yes... she does... she has a gift..."

"One day, she's going to make someone fall for her with that voice," Bella leaned an elbow against the counter, her chin on her palm. "Whoever that lucky guy is, she's going to be singing for him everyday..."

"Right," the hitman mumbled, and the song came to an end, Haneul and the backup dancers finishing the outro, and she breathed into the mic.

"Hey señor," she pulled the mic away, and the customers erupted into applause, screaming and smiling toward her. For the longest time, they had waited for her to return and they hoped she would sing more songs in the days to come.

Sehun clapped along with the rest of the patrons and staff, the bartender's thoughts still fresh in his mind. Maybe it was true... the girl had most certainly made him enamored, even though this happened to be the first time he watched her sing. It was a shame she had to use her talents for the nightlife though. This establishment wasn't like the hostess bars and brothels he had encountered, which meant she wasn't selling herself and that she had self-respect, but he knew there would be people that accused her of doing dirty work. He would shield her from them even at a distance, and he prayed that when things were back to normal, she could sing on a much bigger stage.

Haneul placed the mic back onto the stand, leaving the stage and heading toward the storage room once again, choosing to keep to herself. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it, her eyes downcast and she sunk to the floor, burying her face in her knees.

"Halmeoni," she spoke quietly. "Did I do okay...? Did you like my performance?" She wished she was there, that maybe she would be seated on one of the empty tables clapping along and smiling like she used to. Then reality would hit her and she remembered she was gone. Ha-Neul has to learn to cope on her own and get back into her feet quickly. She couldn't let her friends be burdened with her grief. That wouldn't be fair to them.

She exhaled, standing once more and crossing the storage room toward the back door, grabbing the handle and pulling it open to let the cool air in. Stepping outside to clear her head would do her some good. She needed this time to think and figure out how to get out of this place quickly. Bothering her friends by living in The Magic Shop wasn't such a good idea in the long run.

At the bar counter, Sehun had noticed Ha-Neul was gone. "Um... excuse me," he spoke to the silver-haired female. "If I may ask, where did she go?"

"Oh, Neullie?" She looked toward the back. "The poor thing has been through a lot lately so I'm guessing she's just keeping to herself. Her grandmother passed away a few days ago. Why, are you interested?" She smirked teasingly and he cleared his throat, looking down at his drink.

"I..." be tried, his hand closing into a fist.

"Not many men ask about her," she continued speaking. "I think you're the first. If you want, I can introduce you to her. You seem like an upright guy."

A guy who kills people for a living, the raven-haired male thought to himself. "I think I'll head for the men's room," he stood up. "Can you tell me where it is?"

"Just down the hall toward the back," Bella gestured, and Sehun followed her directions. Once he was out of sight, he quickly looked around the back rooms to find her. He couldn't lose her, especially when he had promised Suho he would protect her. His hand closed around the door knob of another door and he swung it open, but he found the boiler room instead.

"Where did you go?" He mumbled, pulling back and continuing toward the next room.

Haneul stayed close to the door, the night air brushing against her cheeks and blowing through her hair gently. The alleyway was dark and damp but she could still hear music coming from inside. She glanced at the black sky with despondency, exhaling and closing her eyes, a pair of footsteps approaching her and pulling her away from her moment of respite.

"Hey," a voice came from the other end of the alleyway, prompting her to come to a halt. She didn't dare look at the person approaching her, but she could smell cigarette smoke and dried blood from him. "What's a pretty thing like you doing out here in the dark?" He towered over her now, that awful going in his eyes and that devious smirk on his lips. "Don't tell me you're alone? Wanna get out of here? I'll keep you nice and warm..."

A pervert, she thought, her expression neutral, and the moment he reached out to touch her, Haneul slapped his hand away and made to step back into The Magic Shop.

"Oh no. You're not going anywhere!" The man hissed, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling her back, and she released an awful cry.

"Let go of me!" The brunette screamed, elbowing him and fighting back, hearing him grunt with pain.

"Aw, you fucking bitch!" She has angered him now, throwing her onto the grimy ground and straddling her.

"I said get off!" Haneul cried, pushing him away, but she could feel how hard he was, that sick sneer still on his expression as he leaned in to press sloppy kisses onto her cheek and neck. She felt disgusted and dirty, and she knew this was only the beginning. She made to slap him, but he pinned her wrists on either side of her head with a growl, her face contorting pervertedly.

"Now now, don't struggle," his tone held slight irritation as she continued to squirm. "Just give in, will you?" Be began to grind, and she stiffened as his hips gyrated. "I'll make you feel good and then, we can have another round later. What do you say?"

"I said get off!" She screamed, managing to knock her knee into his crotch, and he shouted, toppling off of her and giving her ample time to escape, but pressed his whole body weight onto her, trapping her underneath him again, pushing her violently onto her stomach.

"You're going to take it like the slut you are," he pulled at her hair and she sobbed, his erection pressed to her backside, ready to pull down the zip of her dress. "If you scream, I'll kill you!"

Sehun had heard her scream, quickly following the sound of her voice until he found the right door. He swung it open, running through the storage room and toward the open back door, bolting through it and stepping onto the alleyway. He saw the man who had held her down, his blood boiling and his gaze deadly, quickly storming toward him. Grabbing onto the back of his collar shirt, the hitman pulled him off of her with brute force, turning him around and hitting him straight across the jaw.

Haneul was finally free, slowly lifting herself to a seated position, and she looked up at her savior. He stood taller than the other man, his shoulder broad, and his stare was cold and blank. She inhaled sharply, the anxiety that was already welling inside her increasing, moving away from the man. She had never seen a gaze like that before. It was like death had come to take the other man's soul. She thought she should have been relieved, but really, she had never been so scared in her life.

︻デ═一 ♥

#exo mafia au #mafia au #exo sehun #sehunxoc #sehunsmut #sehun x oc #sehun #oh sehun #eventual romance #eventual happy ending #eventual fluff #eventual smut #fluff smut #fluff #smut #romance #hurt #comfort

[prxttypxrker]

[secrets: part seven]

[part] one two three four five six

[tags] @falling-stars-never-cry @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @hphmincorrectquotes

You had family over.. you had family over? The only person you ever mentioned was your older sister, whom you lived with, and the late parents you lost at a young age. There were family friends and your sister's boyfriend, sure, but never any other actual blood relatives. The text you sent sat uneasy with him. While he was happy you weren't ignoring him for as long as he expected, the confusion of who you could've meant was tenfold. Does he ask you at school tomorrow? Or does he just bypass his curiosity and let it slide?

Peter flipped over on his bed, staring at the phone sitting between the pages of his chemistry textbook. He'd been debating calling or not—considering you did say you had family over and couldn't meet with him. However.. maybe you could do a phone call? Or a text. Texting sounded better. You wouldn't be able to hear his very unnecessary desperation to figure you out just for tonight.

He threw his head down and groaned into his pillow. If he didn't have a crush on you he wouldn't have been as persistent. And it was overwhelming. He didn't recall any moments he felt like this when he liked Liz last year; not even when he found out her dad was Vulture and had to fight him. That was crazy, but it didn't meld his mind as much as this did. He didn't even think he could like someone this much after that whole experience. “Hey.” He turned his head enough to see his Aunt May leaning against the doorway. “Are you going to call her?”

He sat up immediately, turning his screen off and shutting the book he was reading just to help you on the project. “What? Call who? I don't know who you're talking about.”

She stared at her nephew for what felt like eternity before giving him a small smile and shaking her head. “I won't ask what it's about, but if it has to do with a certain superhero swinging around the neighborhood—well—I’m sure she'll understand once you have a real talk with her. I know she wouldn't want to jeopardize your friendship either.”

He didn't say anything—he couldn't, really. There were moments he forgot his aunt discovered that he was Spider-Man, so whenever she discreetly brought up the other side of his double life he was taken aback. Although this time, he was more than glad she had a sixth sense about what went on in his life. He cleared his throat and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah.. yeah, I'll make sure I talk to her. Thanks, Aunt May.” She gave him another smile and turned to head back into the kitchen. He immediately opened up the book and turned his phone back on.

While he was trying to decide whether calling was a good idea, you were sitting at a dinner table with your sister Katrina, her boyfriend, and pretty much the only person your parents were extremely close with. Everyone was engaged in lively conversation while you could barely get a word in. It all made sense, but for some reason you still couldn't wrap your head around the fact that your crush was also the one who prevented what would have been a tragic event in your life. A part of you preferred he was just making new friends that would replace you guys in the future. At least then you could cope and talk it out without having second thoughts. This was a whole other situation. Peter was an actual hero, not the regular, run-of-the-mill kid who takes city crimes into his own hands. He was skilled and friendly and as selfless as anyone with powers could be. Not to mention he worked with Iron Man; you remembered seeing that ship 'incident’ on the news the year before. As well as photos and videos people would post online of the two of them taking on bigger jobs together. It was amazing and impressive, but something still bothered you.

“Y/N.” You looked up from the phone sitting next to your plate, sending it to its black screen before acknowledging your sister. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just some stuff about homework.” It didn't seem like she believed it, but she only shrugged and continued on with the conversation with her boyfriend. They didn't give it a second thought, but the other guest clearly did. You watched him glance between yourself and the device, raising his eyebrows. Was the conflict really that obvious? Could he see that you were struggling with a friendship? Or were your mixed feelings with the current situation making their way into your eyes? “Um,” you cleared your throat and stood from your seat, “I'm gonna go work on that project Miss Simms gave me.”

After saying an early goodnight to the other three in the room, you made your way down the hall toward your bedroom. You closed the door and breathed out a large sigh, throwing yourself on the bed. You laid on your back so you could see the ceiling; see the space where you had half of the pictures of you, your friends and family stuck with tape and staring straight at you. It felt weird to have photos up at first, but over time you would look at them each time you just needed someone and they couldn't physically be there. Mostly during your moments of sulking or frustration, in which you hated bringing down the moods of others so you would look at the smiling faces above you to keep you sane. You hoped they would still help with something as big as this.

You sighed and rolled over onto your stomach, deciding that if you weren't going to talk to him yet, you might as well actually work on that project. While you started doing the worksheets there was a light knock from the other side of the door. “Come in.”

“Hey, misfit.”

At the sound of the all too familiar voice you put everything in your hands down and sat up, giving the man your full attention. “You haven't called me that for a while.”

“Now that's because you haven't caused any trouble in a while.” You rolled your eyes, smiling up at him as he gave you one in return. “So what's up? Why have you been ignoring me?”

“I haven't.”

“You're a terrible liar... definitely got that trait from your dad.”

You frowned and he gestured toward the open spot on your bed, waiting for you to nod so he could sit down. There was a silence that hung in the air as the two of you sat there, both looking around different pieces of your room. It was a silence you always hated when it was between you and him. You much preferred the weird, fatherly or innovative talks that would happen whenever you'd see him. After your dad passed away with your mom, he was the only one that was able to tell when something was bothering you or if you were lying about anything. So after another minute or so of quiet, you spoke up. “Why didn't you tell me?”

He sighed, letting the question sink in on both ends. He then adjusted his position so he could look at you properly. “It wasn't my place to tell you that. It’s his responsibility to decide when to say who he was to any of you. I've just been there as the... moral support, you could say.”

You snorted, “Snarky Tony Stark as moral support? That I would like to see.”

The billionaire raised an eyebrow and grinned at you, seeing that his said snarkiness had been rubbing off on you more and more. His gaze found its way to the object with the screen displaying your contact list. There were times he forgot how much you grew since that tragic day, but seeing the extent of what you'd been going through the past few months helped him see that you had more than just normal, teenage issues. You had a knowing crush on a boy who went around saving pedestrians and putting his own life at risk once in a while. All while having a father figure who had an arc reactor in his chest, flew around in an iron, red and gold suit saving New York from aliens with other heroes, was part of Earth's best defenders, and had a mind so big only those truly intelligent could fully understand him. “Talk to the kid. He goes through a lot. He could use someone like you on his side.”

Without waiting for a response he pulled himself up from the sitting position and made for the doorway. You bit your lip when he took a step out. You didn't want the chance to say it slip by, so just as he was halfway down the small hallway, you let out a small shout. “Thank you, Uncle Tony!”

With his rare modesty in check after your miniscule burst, you went back to the materials laid across the mattress. Your eyes combed over everything, stopping at the name that both frustrated you and sent waves of butterflies in your belly every time you heard it.

Neither of you were aware the other knew about having a crush on one another; these types of instances almost never happened, especially during high school. It was a decision of part temporary confidence, part consideration, and part nobody wanting to lose a friendship out of this. You were both unsure for different reasons, but at the end of the night feelings were only an excuse. In your beds, you each took a deep breath and pressed the name on your phones.

#marvel #marvel fandom #peter parker #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #hollander #marvel fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #reader insert #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #fanfiction #mcu #peter parker au #tom holland au #fandom #avengers infity war #avengers endgame #spiderman ffh #ffh

[shawnpetermuffins]

She's gone. (Part 2 of Were You Going to Tell Me?)

A/n: here is part 2, it went in a slightly different direction than I originally intended, but I think I like it.

Summary: Shawn isn't coping well with y/n being gone. (Told in both POVs)

Word count: still a lot

Warning: angst with a fluff ending oops

***

She left and I'm well beyond sad. I feel empty. If there's a way to feel something worse than that, then that's what I feel. It's like my heart has been ripped from my chest and it's infinitely harder to breathe through that aching pain.

I stayed in bed, crying like a baby, clutching her pillow like it was her. Morning came and my throat was raw from screaming into the sheets while hiccupped sobs wracked my body. I didn't bother to answer my phone that hasn't stopped ringing since seven. I couldn't even get out of bed to brush my teeth. Amy little thing that I did felt impossible. How could I go on living without her? She made everything in my life worth living. It was fun and organized with her in it, and I took her for granted. I made her move across the continent just to be with me and I couldn't even spare her a passing glance, a quick kiss before leaving for the studio.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever. How she put up with me for seven years is beyond me. I would have dropped my ass the first time I forgot our anniversary. And her birthday! God I forgot her birthday! But she didn't break up with me and I did it again. I'm the worst. The absolute worst.

“Shawn, are you in here?”

I now regret giving Andrew a spare key to my place. I stifled my sobs into her pillow, it smelled like her, this was torture. He barged into our room - fuck, I didn't even know if it was still our room.

“Shawn, what the hell? You were supposed to be in the studio two hours - wait, what's going on? Why aren't you dressed?"

“She's gone, Andrew. I lost her.” I choked on the words and buried my head further into her side of the bed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/n left.” The cried that escaped my throat were embarrassing and loud.

“Like she left? Why on earth would she leave?”

“Because I suck. I'm a horrible boyfriend. I was more focused on the album than I was spending time with her.” I sniffled, “I royally fucked up; I don't even know what to do. I can't go on without her.”

Andrew sighed, “Shawn, I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but-”

“I'm not going in, Andrew! I might have just lost my girlfriend of seven years, the love of my life, the reason for my existence! Fuck the studio! I don't have my girl here, so I can't make music!”

“You're being unreasonable.” He started typing on his phone. “Get up. Get dressed. You have to be there. People are waiting.”

“Well then tell them to stop waiting because I'm not going.”

“How long are you gonna do this?” He punched the bridge of his nose.

“Until she's back in my arms.”

☆

Ten minutes later, after Andrew had finally left and stopped yelling at me, my door opened again. I really need to stop giving my friends a key. “Shawny boy, are you here?”

I didn't answer. They'd find me eventually.

“What are doing here?” Brian came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

“She left.”

“Not for good. She couldn't.”

“She told me she wasn't happy anymore. That I wasn't making her happy.”

“You've been busy,” he sympathized, “she'll cool down.”

“She's in y/h/t, Brian. It's not like she's just roaming around the city and she'll come back when she gets bored.”

“Shawn, y/n loves you. The entire world knows that. Just like they know you love her. She'll come back.”

“And what if she doesn't?”

He didn't answer because he knew there was a chance she wouldn't.

“I've fucked everything up. I don't know what to do.”

“What's your heart telling you to do?”

I sighed and sat up, pulling my knees to my chest. “My heart is telling me that I should have proposed to her a long time ago.”

“What?”

I got out of bed and walked on foreign legs to our closet. I had hidden a velvet box in a pair of my shoes on the top shelf. Where I knew she couldn't reach. I tossed it at him and he fumbled to catch it. “I bought it for her right after she moved in. But I was scared that she'd think it was too much at one time if I asked her then. But then everything else started piling up and I couldn't find an opening, and then I guess I just forgot.”

“Does she know you were planning on proposing? Because if she did, I don't think she would have run away.”

“Well we've talked about it. But I guess within the past year, we haven't done much talking. It seems like we're always in a screaming match.”

“You need to do this,” he stood from the bed, closing the box in his hand before tossing it back to me. “Get on a plane and go find her.”

“She doesn't want to see me.”

“Shawn, I'm scared that if you don't go to her now she really isn't coming back. Because you're right, you've fucked up. A lot. I don't know how many times I've comforted her after you guys fight.”

“Wait, what?”

Brian sighed, “She's come to me a few times.”

“Why didn't I know that?”

“Because you haven't been paying attention. But you're paying attention now, so go. Get your girl back before it's too late.”

“I will, but we need to talk about the fact that you knew how she was feeling and you didn't tell me.”

“They weren't my feelings to share! She trusts me, and I can't break that trust. She's a hard person to get in good with and I don't want go be on her bad side. Because from what you look like right now, it's not looking too hot.”

I scoffed and started packing some clothes. I didn't know how long I would be gone, so I just threw some shit in a bag and booked my ticket. “She's my girlfriend, He is .  And you're my best friend, don't you think you have some sort of obligation to tell me when my girlfriend things we don't work?"

“Don't you think you have an obligation as her boyfriend to make sure she's happy? Look, I love you to death, man, but you've been pulling away from her for so long I'm surprised she's stayed as long as she has.”

“You're a dick.”

“No, Shawn.” he shook his head. “I'm just telling you the truth. And I'm not the only one who's noticed. The guys see it too. The band. Everyone except you.”

“And no one's told me a goddamn thing,” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Because we knew you'd react this way. But let me tell you this: that girl has loved you despite all the hell you've put her through. She moved here away from all she's ever known for you, and you're rarely ever here. She put her dreams on hold so you could continue following yours. Do you think she likes what she does? No, but she does it because that's what keeps her close to you. You've taken her for granted and she doesn't deserve that.”

I sighed, “You're right,” I said defeated. “She doesn't, and I know that after everything I've done I don't deserve her. I know. But I love her more than anything.”

“Don't tell me that. Tell her.”

☆

My palms were sweaty as I stood in front of her childhood home. Her dad's truck was in the driveway, y/n's wasn't. I knocked on the door and waited. Her dad stood before me. “Can we talk?” I asked, my hands in my pockets.

He nodded and motioned for me to come inside. “Sit down,” he pointed to the couch nearest to the kitchen. He sat opposite of me.

I took in a deep breath and rubbed my palms on my jeans. “Has she said anything to you?”

He shook his head, “Not to me. Her sister, probably.”

I cleared my throat, “Well, I'm going to apologize anyway. Things haven't been going great for us for quite some time now and that's completely on me. I've taken her for granted and that was never my intention. I love her and I never meant to hurt her, you need to know that.”

“I do, Shawn.”

“I'm in love with her, sir. I have been for seven years, and I will be for the rest of my life. I hadn't known pure heartache until she left the other day. I couldn't even get out of bed, and none of this is your problem, but I just want you to know that I love her and I never want to see her hurt like this again. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her. So… May I have your blessing to ask her go marry me?”

He was silent for a while and then he chuckled. “I'll give you my blessing, Shawn. You've taken good care of her, whether you think you have or not. But ultimately the decision is hers.”

“Yes, sir.” I nodded. “Thank you,” I stood and shook his hand; he brought me into a hug.

“You take good care of her, okay?”

“Of course.”

The waiting was torture. I stood in the middle of her old bedroom with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and the ring in the other, behind my back. She stopped short when she saw me. “Glad you're back,” I said.

“Shawn. What are you - What are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize. And to completely beg you to come home with me.”

***

I thought I was imagining things when I saw that beautiful head of hair. But then he spoke in the voice of my dreams and I startled slightly. I rubbed my forehead, “I said I needed time.”

“I know, pumpkin, I know. But if you could just hear me out.” He set the flowers he was holding on my old desk. “No yelling, I promise.” He reached his hands out for me. “Do you trust me?”

I sighed. Of course I did. So I placed my hands in his and he led me outside. We stood in the middle of the circle drive. “Seven years ago,” he started, “I was standing right here when you came running up to me and you wrapped your entire body around me. You were wearing mg pink Lost in Japan hoodie, with yoga shorts, no makeup, and your hair in a messy bun. I swore to myself that day that I had never seen anyone or anything look as beautiful as you did in that moment.”

“Shawn,” I tried to pull my hands back, but he brought them to his chest, near his heart.

“I'm not done,” he sighed. “I’d been in love with you for months already, by that point, but that day did it for me. That's when I really knew that you were the girl I was gonna spend my life with. I've never not believed that.” He let go of my hands and reached into his back pocket, then he took my left hand again.

Oh no.

“Y/n, my beautiful cherry blossom, my pumpkin, my love. I am so tremendously sorry. I know I've fucked up immensely these last few years, and if I could go back in time, I would. I would love you harder. I would kiss you more. I would take you on more dates because I love you. I have since the day I met you and I will until the day I die.” He got down on one knee and the tears blurred my vision.

“Shawn, no. No, no, no. Get up, bubba.” my hand flew to my mouth, this isn't how I thought it would go down. After a big fight.

“I can't take back what I've done, but I can try to make it up to you every day for the rest of my life if you'll let me.” He took in a deep breath, “Y/f/n, will you let me spend the rest of my life loving you unconditionally? Will you marry me?” He popped open the velvet box and even through my clouded eyes, I could see how big the ring was. But that's not what this was about. This was about the man in front of me, who I've spent nearly a decade of my life with. He was here in my hometown, begging for forgiveness, asking me to marry him. And it killed me that even though he'd been the worst the last two years, I still wanted him.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice shaking. “Will you marry me?” He asked again.

I took in a deep breath. He needed an answer. I closed my eyes tight and let the last few years fall before I said, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

I nodded and laughed through the tears that were now resurfacing. “You said yes. Oh my god!” He picked me up and twirled me around again and again. Once back on the ground, he put the ring on my finger with his shaking hand. “I was scared you'd say no because I messed up too much.”

I pulled him down and rested my forehead against his. “You have the rest of your life to make it up to me.” I played with the tufts of hair on the back of his neck. “I love you.”

He smiled and then he kissed me. And this kiss, it was enough to keep me grounded forever. I knew in this second that I would never regret my choice to marry him.

***

That's it, guys! I hope you enjoyed it!

@ashwarren32 @youcanttakemyyouth

@darkwolfpeanutskeleton

#shawn peter raul #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes one shot

[d-noona]

MAKE OVER

Chapter 13: The Project

Jung Hoseok x Reader

Reader as Kang Hyeonji

SUMMARY: When Kang Hyeonji transformed herself into a striking redhead, the entire male population of Seoul stood up and took notice. But her make over was for Jung Hoseok’s benefit alone. He began to show interest in the new look but not in the way she wanted. Suddenly he was over-protective, perhaps a little jealous. It seemed that the idea of having a relationship with her couldn’t be further from his mind. The girl however wants more. So it was time for an ultimatum. If Hoseok didn’t want Hyeonji to lose her virginity to another admirer, he had no option but to make love to her himself.

"So how did last night go?" Her mother asked when Hyeonji struggled out of bed shortly before midday. "You must have got home pretty late. I was still up reading at one-thirty."

Hyeonji knew she could not bear a full confession at that moment. She will still coming in terms with the end of her relationship with Hoseok. In the cold light of morning, it was a bitter pill to swallow that she'd exchanged a lifetime of friendship for one night of fantasy. Hoseok had delivered her home around three-thirty, neither of them having said a word to each other on the trip. When he'd try to say something in the driveway she'd stopped him with a look and quickly left. In her room, she'd felt too shattered to cry. She'd undressed and climbed into bed and just lain there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the whole man/woman thing. No clear answers had come to comfort her. She'd finally dropped off around dawn, and had one of those awful dreams where she was travelling on a train and had lost her luggage, which passed by a no vacancy Inn called Omelas. It was a frustrating dream which she had from time to time. Inevitably, she woke feeling dreadful. Not that she needed an extra reason that morning. Hoseok didn't like her anymore. She'd become a sex-mad monster in his opinion; a complication. Hyeonji knew that he would not come around anymore and pride would stop her from seeking him out. Their friendship was over, ruined by her love for him.

"Sweetie?" Her mother probed gently.

She shook her head, unable to say anything. Zil sighed. "I presume it didn't work out like you hoped."

"No," Hyeonjie managed.

"I see. I'm so sorry my love. I know how much Hoseok means to you." As her mother caressed her hair gently. "Meant." Hyeonji said with sudden and unexpected determination. She stood up from where she'd been drooping over the kitchen table, her shoulders slumped in defeat. Now they straightened, her chin lifting in defiance of her depression. "Hoseok is the past, Mum. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I don't aim to waste it moping around. I'm going out."

"Out? Where, out?" Her mother replied in confusion.

"I really have no idea. Yet, i'll think about it while I have a bubble bath." With Hyeonji's declaration of sudden independence her mother stuttered. "A b..bubble bath? In midday?"

"Why not? Do you realize I haven't use bottle of bubble bath Han Byeol gave me for Christmas? I also have one of those bath bombs from Choon Hee. I think it's way overdue." As Hyeonji slams her palm on their kitchen table.

"What about the papers? The financial form Hoseok was going to leave with me last night. Did he forget?" Her mother asks. "No. He didn't. I'm sure he hasn't forgotten, Mum. Hobi isn't like that." Hyeonji responds only to realize she was still quick to defend his ex best friend. "Do you think I should go over and ask him about them? He must be there, his car is in the driveway."

Hyeonji flinched. The thought that Hoseok was physically so close rattled her momentary resolve to get on with her life. How could she go on, having won him in a fashion for one short night, only to lose him forever? "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea," she said briskly. "He's probably still asleep but I'm sure Mrs Jung will be up." Hyeonji turned and fled the room quickly before she weakend in front of her mother.

"Stay strong" she kept mumbling to herself. "You must stay strong!"

One hour later she was bathed and dressed in a white one piece sundress that went seven inches above her knee. It was pure and dainty, with the fabric swinging nicely on her legs. Allowing her freshly dried hair to fall on her shoulders with her perfectly made-up face. She'd also hunted out some pearl earrings which she'd only worn once, which now suited her look and her new hair color. She'd thought about putting on the new necklace Hoseok had given to her, but didn't want the constant reminder of him, so it stayed at the back of her top drawer. She did however, spray a whiff of Seductress behind her ears.

No one would've guessed just looking at her that inside she was having the mental and emotional battle of her life. It would be so easy to give in and give up, to sink back into the miserably mousy little nothing she'd once been. But to do that would be to waste all the changes she'd made. If nothing else she would remain grateful to Hoseok for being impetus behind her making those changes. Neither would she regret losing her virginity to him. How could she? She loved him. It angered her, however, that Hoseok had never recognized her love for him, when everyone else had, even dear old Jeon Jungkook. It had been easier for him to believe she'd suddenly turned into a sex-mad monster bitch than to face the fact that there could be something else behind her choosing him to become her first lover.

"Hyeonji?" Her mother called out from downstairs, and Hyeonji immediately tensed. She recognized that slightly sheepish tone in her mothers voice.

"Yes?" She called back curtly.

"Um...Hoseok's here. He wants to talk to you."

Hyeonji squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh God," she mumbled. Her thoughts racing as to why he wouldn't leave this shit alone. It was finished. They were finished. She'd risked the substance for the shadow and she'd lost. She understood that. Why didn't he? It looked as if she would have to spell it out for him again, because there is no way she was going to let him play with her emotions anymore, no matter how innocent his intentions. The way to hell was paved with good intentions. Maybe she should remind him of that. "I'll be right down," she said stiffly.

Gathering her strength, she slipped her bare feet into her beige sandals and forced herself to go down and face Hoseok. Her mother passed her on the stairs, obviously deciding to make herself scarce.

Hoseok was in the kitchen, standing with his back to the sink, his arms crossed. "You look awful," she said knowing that he didn't, actually. He looked fantastic, even with dark rings under his eyes and his clothing not up his usual satorial splendor. He was wearing his usual tattered jeans. Grey. Stonewashed, but his white T-shirt was crumpled.

"You don't," he returned, brown eyes washing over her. "You look beautiful."

Hyeonji declined to make a comment. "What is it that you want Hobi?" She asked coolly. "Your mother says youre going out." He arched his eyebrow at her.

"Yep" she responded. "Where?" Hoseok responds just as quick. "That is none of your business." She quipped.

"I am making it my business. Where are you going?" As he pushed himself off the sink, slowly approaching Hyeonji. She shrugged with his sudden question. "I'm not sure yet. Anywhere."

"In that case you're coming with me."

"No. Not good enough. Why should I?" Hyeonji starts to feel her blood boil. Hoseok can be persistent but she didn't think he'd be this damned controlling.

"It was...once. You used to be happy to go along with anything I suggested."

Her smile was not very nice. "Times have changed Hoseok. Haven't they?"

"Yes, and so have you," he bit out.

Hyeonji raised her eyebrows. "Do I detect a note of disapproval here? I must admit I'm at loss. Because I actually did do everything you suggested. This is your creation Jung Hoseok," she said, uncrossing her arms and sweeping them over her body. "You made me what I am today. You even gave me a splendid initiation into the pleasures of being fucked. I'm eternally grateful. They say a lot of girls' first experiences aren't anything to write about. I dunno about you, mine was pretty fucking awesome."

"I don't want your gratitude Hyeonji."

She placed both hands on her waist daring him even more. "Oh? What is it you want then? Tell me."

"You!" There was no denying the dark intent in his smouldering brown eyes. They raked over her, showing her with more than words what he wanted. Not love, God, no. There was nothing of love in the way he was looking at her. Lust, hot and strong, burned across the distance between them, branding her with its stunning heat. Hyeonji's coolness vanished momentarily, swamped by a white-hot deluge of answering desire.

"Don't fucking tell me its not mutual," he ground out. "I can see the truth in your face. You want me as much as I want you, Hyeonji as complicated as this might get, once was simply not enough."

She wasn't going to deny it. Impossible. Her heart was off running, and so was her conscience. If I can't have this love, she reasoned recklessly, then I'll settle for his lust. I'll settle for damned well anything at this moment. Even if it is fake love. The realization made a mockery of her earlier vow to get on with her life without Hobi. She was condemned to always being weak where he was concerned. Love made a woman weak, she accepted it with a sobering thought.

"What about Tinashe?" She asked, proud of herself that she didn't sound shaken as she was.

"You let me worry about Tinashe." He held out his hand and waited. She knew that to place her hand in his was to surrender to his wishes without reserve. From what she could see, he wasn't offering her anything but sex. He hadn't even promised to get rid of his old girlfriend. Hyeonji knew she could not cope with that. "I won't share you, Hobi."

"I won't share you either Hyeonji."

"You won't go back to her?" She spoke softly. "Not if you come with me right now." He replies. These unspoken words haunted Hyeonji, for she found them both dismaying and wildly exciting. It wasn't exactly what she wanted. Still becoming Hoseok's fuck buddy was a temptation beyond bearing. She hadn't yet had her fill of him in a sexual sense, either, had she? Difficult to knock back such a chance. Impossible, really. His face held a blackly triumphant satisfaction when she placed her trembling hand in his. His fingers closed tightly around its slender width and he yanked her towards him. Her lips parted on a breathless gasp as their bodies collided.

"So you're my creation, are you?" He murmured in a low, dangerously menacing voice. "In that case I've created a monster. A manipulative, demanding, conscienceless monster." He began stroking her neck, making her quiver with arousal and expectation. His eyes dropped to her mouth and she could feel the heat of her desire in their blistering brown eyes. Any moment he was going to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her, ached for him to kiss her.

"No, I'm not going to kiss you," he growled, his fingers stilling on her throat. "Even though you want me to. You're going to learn to wait. You're going to learn a lot of things before I'm finished with you. You think you can play with people? You think you can use me then just move on to other men, other lovers," his fingertips pressed into the soft skin of her throat. "Think again, baby," he snapped, brown eyes gleaming. "Last night was only the first of many nights. And all of them will be with me. No one else. Not Jungkook or even your pathetic Mr X. Soon, your body will only respond to me. You're Daddy's little girl. You're Daddy's little project." He laughed. It was definitely a Mr Hyde laugh. It sent shivers down Hyeonji's spine.

"You, better than anyone know, how obsessive I can get about my projects," he went on in a fearsome fashion. "Nothing sways me from my goal. I promise you I will devote every minute of every day to the task, all my intellect, all my strength and every ounce of energy. I will become your tutor. Your master, your own personal devil!"

Hyeonji gaped at him, her eyes round, her heart pounding. This was a Hoseok she'd never met before. A madly impassioned, out-of-control Hoseok whose dark side had him firmly in its grip. But the insidious attraction of that dark side. His words were already sending her on the path to that particular hell. And hell it would eventually be. For she knew Hoseok well enough to know that his obsessions always burn out. Once a project was mastered, he quickly lost interest and abandoned it, moving on to the next project. And the next.

Hyeonji decided enough is enough. She might be dying to volunteer as his next project, but she would not be bullied or abused. She brushed past his temporarily stunned self and dashed upstairs. "Mum! Hoseok and I are going out for the day. Don't wait up." She heads back down to a stunned Hoseok. "Come on Daddy. Let's go."

Chapter 14

Masterlist

#BTS #BANGTAN SONYEONDAN #BTSJHOPE #JHOPE #JUNGHOSEOK #JUNGHOSEOKXREADER #JHOPEXREADER #HOBI #BTSFANFIC #btsromanticfanfic #MAKEOVER