#*FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO*

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there

#this is about #all of us strangers #ofc your experience of a piece of media is molded by your own perspective #and i have been thinking a lot about growing up queer and how it still fucking sucked #for me. ten. twenty years ago. fuck it even five years ago #it still sometimes sucks #because i was raised without any queer representation around me #i was trained to be straight and to desire straightness #and anything remotely queer was mocked and bullied and judged #i saw it done by others and done to others so much that it's hardly surprising i did everything i could to Not be that #and the fact that i had to grow up that way #and that i still wouldn't feel at ease bringing a partner to a family event #makes my heart ache so much #i am often on my own and going home doesn't bring me comfort #it's like harry describes #it's just how it went #my parents didn't mean to make it like that #my mom even thinks it's sad #but she doesn't understand how it came to be #and i don't know if i can turn it around #adam's imaginings of how his parents envelop him with love and acceptance in the end #was a dream #but a painful one #a dream where your parents suddenly say all the right things #and for him they only did so bc they're dead and he could imagine whatever he wanted #/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first #literally so disgusted she can't drink her tea #oooooofofffffff....... #i need to think some more #my posts

[rbtlvr]

Actual commission post is here! They're pay what you want (prices listed are the minimum, you can pay more/'tip' if you're able and want to!) Commissions will be full color with no/minimal shading, and with simple backgrounds only

Prices:

Icon/headshot: $4+ (one character only)

Half body/waist up: $8+ (+$3 per extra character)

Full body - $11+ (+$5 per extra character)

Won't draw:

NS.FW

Heavy gore

"Pro" ships (i.e. tc/st)

I do also reserve the right to refuse a commission if I'm uncomfortable with it, even if it doesn't fall under any of the above. Thank you for understanding!

Will draw:

Most other things! If you're unsure, just ask!

Additionally, if you'd like a more complicated piece (i.e. fully rendered or with a complex background) please message me and we can work something out

Payment is through Ko-fi here, and more info and examples are there as well. Additionally, more examples of my art are in this tag, though the examples on this post are the best indication of what you'll be getting

Reblogs are super appreciated even if you can't/aren't interested in commissioning yourself at the moment! Thank you!!

#talk tag #commissions #commission info #artists on tumblr #rottmnt #good god hopefully this works ive never done this before i dont think LMAO #i say i dont think bc i have a very vague memory of setting up a commissions post literally years ago #but i dont remember if i ever posted it so #um idk what else to tag this as lmaokalfjdklsjfld #god i hope im not forgetting anything. watch ill come back in five minutes and realize i missed 759348 things #fuck it we ball [puts this in the rise tag] #SORRY. ITS ONE POST AND I MAINLY DRAW TURTLES NOW ANYWAY AJ;FLKDJSAKFL

[stillflight]

To every de-assimilating and re-connecting ethnic Jew lurking in Jewish tags:

One day it will all just be part of your life, no second guesses. One day you won't feel so uncomfortable or guilty, even a little bit. One day you will be cleaning your house for Passover and realize it's all just so normal. One day you will be saying the Hanukkah blessings and realize you know them by heart. One day you will offhand mention you're Jewish and not feel that familiar pang of guilt and shame.

You are already "Jewish enough" because you are Jewish. This feeling of not quite belonging does not last forever. You will feel all right someday. I know I do now, even though for a while it felt like I never would.

Welcome home.

#zionists fuck all the way off op is an evil anarchist and hates your ass #converts I support you but please do not derail! this is about de-assimilation #jumblr #jewish tag #why don't I just go ahead and say what I needed to hear five years ago #drafted

[melanodis]

don't think i ever posted this guy but ffps henry I love u please don't burn yourself alive you're so cool ahaha

#idc that its 4 am look at him #springtrap fucking killed him but the remnant in his body from 30 years ago preserved him #five nights at freddy's #henry emily #ffps #art.psd

[casualdadnomad]

in every fic about sokka jet shows up as competition trying to steal his man/woman and at the end of the day this all comes down to zukkas impact

#like yes sokka has always hated jet since day one but jet never even interacted with any of his canon love interests #you know who DID interact with jet tho #ZUKO #freaking zuko did #istg i’ve read at least four fics with this premise of jet swooping in and messing things up #in fact #make that five #because the fic i wrote back in the day #also had jet come in and fuck everything up for sokka #but that was years and years ago before i was a zukka stan #sokka just hates this guy so much #maybe they’re exes <3 #atla #sokka #avatar #avatar the last airbender #zukka

[ayellowbirds]

holy spit

i'm going to be forty years old in nineteen days

on the downside i definitely feel lit in my joints

on the upside people consistently tell me i look ten years younger

(yay the magic of HRT)

overall, i'm just glad i'm still alive!

#and i've got D-cups now! That's pretty fucking sweet #wish they were even bigger still but hey it's better than five years ago

[xysidhequeen]

Current count since I last slept: 41 hours.

I think I've capped out at 46 before, I'm not sure because my worst fit of insomnia had me in no position to check times. But I'll say 46. So if we hit 48 we're setting personal records!

#i do not want to actually be awake #my body just physically cant process stress #'oh zee why cant you be in a car?' #this. this is why #and you might think: 'oh this cant be because you were in a car!' #it is. it so totally is #and also stress #but mostly i blame being in a car #everytime i get in a car i get sick #motion sickness vertigo dizziness insomnia #my body is violently against automobiles #which is actually so annoying because i finally own one of my dream cars #and wanna know when i last drove my baby? #A YEAR AND FIVE FUCKING MONTHS AGO #Also please for the love of fuck do not suggest anything to help me sleep #i. have. tried. it. #when im dealing with insomnia like this the only way it stops is preceiotion strength meds or my body calms itself the fuck down #no teas no melatonin no meditating no lettuce water no hot milk NOTHING will work #and also even prescription strength meds dont always work when its like this i have woken up like two hours after taking some b4 #when my body doesnt want to sleep it will not sleep #you can tell how little sleep im running on based on how unhinged these tags are

[kraviolis]

Belos: I’m going to raise Luz as my daughter and ensure that she remains pure and loyal to me.

Also Belos: I’m going to let the 7-years-old clone of my brother take care of her I’m sure he’ll be able to do that.

you joke but thats LITERALLY his entire thought process at first. he's so isolated and arrogant that he couldnt possibly comprehend the idea that luz wouldnt see him as her father despite the fact he literally told hunter he was going to be her older brother and never once encouraged hunter to see him as anything but an uncle.

i attribute this to the fact that philip is an orphan who only ever knew his blood brother as his only caretaker, so he sorta took having a brother for granted and didn't realize that was something you could want rather than something that just Is.

(also caleb was the only person philip ever truly knew + loved and even well into his 300s he never once picked up a child psychology book and realized that Perhaps His Worldview Was Skewed Because Of That.)

he literally like. could not comprehend the idea that you could even choose your own family outside of like. being adopted by someone. thats the other thing with him being so annoyingly christian in this AU, he was taught that your blood family (esp yr parents) is always the most important thing in your life & you should always be grateful to them no matter what.

(this is another factor into why he keeps making grimwalkers. in his own twisted viewpoint, it's him giving caleb another chance. and another. and another-- at least in this specific characterization of him.)

philip thought that him adopting luz would mean she would immediately be eternally grateful to him and call him father and the whole nine yards. but he forget to actually express that expectation until it was too late (aka until he heard her call him uncle for the first time)

honestly, hes not MAD about it. he's just sorta :( about it bcus hes not actually insane and can still logically think like "she did say she had just lost her real father to an illness its perfectly reasonable for her to not want to replace him" (he doesnt think it outloud but he also enjoys living thru her vicariously

but also later on as she gets older it gets to a point where he's like "ok its been years now why isnt she trying to replace him yet" bcus he thinks its a normal + healthy part of the grieving process to replace the person you lost (figuratively or, in his case, Literally)

#qna #anonymous #little lamb au #toh #also luz is sort of catholic in this AU bcus she was raised like that #as in camila + manny would take her to church on sundays and she did sunday school sometimes and they'd encourage her to pray #but they never like. enforced it on her. it was more of a cultural thing for all three of them than a spiritual thing. #but belos is DELIGHTED when he hears baby luz praying out loud before bed on her first night in the castle #he tries to casually ask her about it like 'what is this God can you explain it to him' #but then as he listens to her little five year old explanation of God and Jesus she drops enough hints to make him realize #'Oh Good Lord She's Fucking CATHOLIC?' #'god truly is testing me by guiding this lamb into my care but no matter. no child is beyond redemption' #cue belos trying to push her more towards protestantism by attempting to have religious debates with a fucking. five year old #who has no concept of religion beyond 'jesus died for my sins which means i shouldnt lie to my abuela about taking an extra empanada' #sorry i love belos forgetting that religion exists up until luz arrives in the demon realm #and then he realizes Oh Fuck Thats Right. Im Doing This For God & Jesus Not Just For Fun #and then suddenly remembers everything his pastor from 400 years ago ever said to him

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅 #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[kenzan-kiwami]

i cannot and did not read the majority of this story but ichi getting a tattoo scene in RGGO is making me a little bit insane

#what's making me more insane is that apparently they just left off on '荒川の親っさん?!' five years ago and then never came back to ichi's story #in part because it's probably going to be harder to make premium currency as someone who isn't buying #but also... what a fucking cliffhanger man... #anyway jo's tattoo is so cute. i don't know enough about either version of sawashiro to say whether tsutsumi's version would have a ryugyo #but this one is adorable #the bold lines and the droplets... the grin... #kasuga ichiban #sawashiro jo #rggo

[thesleepysystem]

watches a new show

starts acting + thinking like that character, no longer feel like myself, feel very dissociated, entire perception of myself switches to be of that character, memory loss, confusion, ect

is this autistic "acting like a character cause i really really like them", delusional attachment "i am this character and you cannot convince me otherwise bitch", or has it always just been DID ?

#me: watches umbrella academy #brain: klaus and five fictive time !!!!! #-travis #also on the whole d/a thing #realizing a year later that it wasnt a delusional attachment (a type of delusion where you believe you are a specific character / person) #but actually a fictive #is crazy like. #where is he now. where is kokichi now. are you still there. hello. #but yeah started watching umbrella academy like 2 days ago #amazing show #10/10 its alot like the loki show but wayy more queer LMAO #and what the fuck we have a loki fictive too #what is it with my brain and developing fictives from time travel sci-fi magic fuckery shows. #actually did #did #did alter #did osdd #did system #did host #actually plural #dissociative identity disorder #plural #plural system #plurality #plural community #sysblr

[wawataka]

literally hate drawing traditional what do you MEAN these were made just a month apart

#i NEED a tablet or fucking something #cuz i like my digital style. BUT I DRAW DIGITALLY WITH MY FINGER #I CAN’T RELY ON MY FUCKING FINGER #THATS NOT GOOD #i had a tablet too which is awful but 1) it was only compatible with my samsung phone like 4 years ago and #2) i fucking lost it so i can’t even tell if it’d be compatible with my chromebook #im gonna tear this house brick from br. or well. drywall from drywall to find it #the tablet was a gift #i’m not gonna have my friend spend a tablet that i used for five months and then never again #cnp rants #anyway. #i’m not even gonna use my art tag this doesn’t deserve it

[bisexuallsokka]

bro you actually got pneumonia??? what are you, some sort of little victorian boy?

coughs daintily into a lil hanky. it’s true.

#THIS MADE ME SCREAM HAHA #fun fact about me is five years ago TODAY i ALSO got diagnosed with pneumonia dear fucking lord #ines nz #ask me stuff

[the-kipsabian]

"why is kip sabian wrestling orange cassidy again they do it too many times"

this is the fifth match in over a year. you think thats too much? just admit you hate good chemistry and love and shut the fuck up

#this is why i dont read twitter ive made a mistake ough #just. this is just a bad take? its not even one on one on friday it hasnt been since the botb title match. over a year ago #and pre injury stuff shouldnt count yes that feud was a little bloated but that was 2020 to 2021 and plagued with injuries #i think we can forgive that you know #but like. saying 'they are wrestling too many times' is like? do you even watch the product? #so everyone else can have a long term story and multiple matches but not these two who genuinely work amazing together in the ring?? #im sorry im mad its just. im finally getting something after literally months and people complain and say its 'too much' #fuck you #wrestling musing #the dislike and hatred wrestling fans have for kip is just mind boggling to me like. i dont understand #whats fucking wrong with you #counted my matches wrong also but only if you count the battle royale as one. i guess you do since it had the cuddle moments but yeah #five is still a single digit and one handed number. too many my fucking ass

[wulfhalls]

laenor: power walking in all determination like im ready to COMMIT rhaenyra we getting u and them kids on that throne!!!! u deserve a husband!!!!

rhaenyra:

#rhaenyra is like where the fuck was that energy five years ago when i actually needed it lmao 🤣 #hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #txt.me

[outism-had-a-purpose]

Dante: Hi Outis

Outis:

Dante:

Dante: Okay Outis

#dante #outis #assorted outisms #limbus company #that's only two out out of her five identities where she asks dante this sort of thing- her gcorp and seven section ones don't have that #kinda voicelines but i think its still worth pointing out #can't wait for olgtis voiceline where she drunkenly slurs about the time she went out to buy milk twenty years ago and for some reason #changed her identity and fucked off to become a fixer