#-this often tends to apply to systems too

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.

Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.

(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)

--

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It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.

And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.

One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.

Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.

They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.

Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.

Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.

They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.

Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".

[macabresymphonies]

(minor TMA spoilers and general TMAGP spoilers) Having so much time to think about incidents in TMAGP due to hiatus made me realize that all of them, to some degree, contain the theme of "sealing your own fate" or "consequences of greed/hubris".

You see, while I do not believe that TMA had a consistent theme every statement was based on, the overall messege seemed to be that horrors are inevitable. Once you've been marked you cannot escape, no amount of therapy or running can release you from it. I think Michael Crew is the best example of that:

"The thing that chased me, you see, it was an arcing branch of the Twisting Deceit, taken shape to follow me. (...) And I knew within that book was something that could not only release me from my pursuer, but chain my being to that rush of wind and vertigo forever." Michael Crew in "The Coming Storm"

You cannot escape it once you've been marked, only bind yourself to different one and this marking is, most often than not, nonconsensual. Jane Prentiss would run around and infect random people, Not!Them didn't need anybody to come to them before it was sealed and Peter Lukas also tended to just disappear random people just to feed. The fears were very predatorial and active and the victims were selected based on their own fears and anxieties. This is not to say there weren't victims who failed due to their own curiosity/hubris/greed, but I think it's telling that few of the most greedy/curious people in the series, Mikaele Salesa and Jurgen Leitner, stayed largely uncorrupted by the fears not cause they avoided interacting with them, but simply avoided getting marked by them.

Now we come to protocol and every incident so far has the main subject of that incident actively engage with the horror and have one or multiple points at which they could stop and leave, but they do not. Daria went to the tattoo shop on her own accord, Harriet wanted her husband back no matter what and even Dr Webber was described to be able to leave the garden whenever he wanted, but, due to hiding from authorities, chose to stay until it was too late for him. Every incident so far seems to have this theme of consent, characters detailing very clearly that consent was given to engage with the abnormality:

"Ah well that’s a tricky one. Sort of? In many ways he stabbed himself on me. By the time he saw the needles we were already very close. Close enough to smell his sweat and cheap aftershave. In fact, he barely had time to be afraid before we embraced. He’s terrified now of course…" Needles in "Introductions"

"The young man's interview was not exceptional as he had no experience in charity work, no driving license nor any demonstrable experience in retail. He claimed however, to know the Hilltop Centre better than anyone and as he was the only applicant in the role I elected to give him a try." Dianne Margolis in "Give and Take"

"I hesitated a moment but before I could consider her strangeness a particularly high tide of color swept down the corridor toward me. I panicked, and before I realized what I was doing I had darted inside the lift and slammed the close-door button." Terrance Stevens in "Running on Empty"

It does not matter some of these are under duress or deception, all of them contain some type of action "confirming" consent. Mind you I do not believe all the victims of of these horrors confirm consent in some way, like people who get killed by Bonzo probably didn't agree to it (though considering he's most likely a hitman, some degree of "you agreed to this by overstepping your boundaries" philosophy could be applied), but subjects of the incident very much pay for consequences of their own actions.

That brings us to OIRA itself, and how every character so far seems to actively dig themselves deeper by their own accord, Gwen wants position of power, Colin wants to figure out the system, Sam wants to know why he wasn't chosen and Alice is in it for the money (for her brother which still counts as consent). This is literally said directly to us in episode 1:

"If you hate working here so completely, you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here." Lena to Gwen in "First Shift"

All of this, all this horror is happening due to their own accord, curiosity, obligation, greed for knowledge or just for the money, it does not matter, the choice is there, but they delve deeper anyway. We will see how long it holds up, but I will be on the look out for this theme in the future.

#the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #tmagp spoilers #tmagp #tma #magnus pod #alice dyer #samama khalid #colin becher #tmagp theory #tmagp analysis #lena kelley #gwen bouchard #michael crew

[black-lake]

self care based on your chart

I talked about the signs and houses connection to body parts and many of you requested this post. These are ways to do your self-care using your chart, the signs, and planetary placements and aspects. The same concept can be applied using simple self-love practices in other areas of life too.

✧ notes 

I recommend you look at your transits chart or solar return as well to better know the best self-care practices at the time. You can base your general self-care on your natal chart but the transits can tell you the best times to take action or avoid taking action on something significant. 

Look for the planets placements and their aspects, mainly if in the angular houses or make many significant aspects. Like I mentioned before I got so much dental work done when saturn was in the 10th, conjunct my mc and opposite north node, it was expensive but I was able to afford it.

You can also consider the degrees if you're feeling extra, in your natal chart and your solar return. Degrees can be associated with signs, so they can be simply linked to the areas they rule.

Planets rule things related to body parts like diseases or accidents and influence certain parts of the body depending on the aspects they make. Also two planets can influence the same body parts.

✧ SIGNS 

Aries/1st house - head, face, brain, eyes 

— Prone to headaches so get quality sleep, wash your hair often, and do wash your makeup, nothing heavy on the head. Exercise and workout in general helps release any pent-up energy or stress. Take good care of your eyes, sunglasses, eye drops, natural eye products/makeup. Keep your brain healthy. Foods and supplements that regulate your energy levels. Head massages, soft pillows, facemasks, frequent haircuts, breathing exercises, get enough brain oxygen. Fast thinkers and can have racing thoughts, so journaling, running, meditating can help. Release anger in healthy ways.

Taurus/2nd house - neck, ears, throat, thyroid 

— The senses can be heightened so make sure your environment is comfortable, the temperature, the sounds, scents, fabrics, the food, arrange it like it's a visions board. Coffee, tea, warm soups, breads and oats, and warm herbal drinks that work for you. Can cling to that one thing they like, so do change your diet from time to time to get different nutrient. Renew your clothes, make your space cozy. Neck massages, aromatherapy, and body relaxation methods. Singing or writing, chill playlists, comfy places and peaceful walks. Cooking your own food can be therapeutic and healing for you. 

Gemini/3rd house - arms, hands, lungs, shoulders 

— Tend to be anxious and restless, since it also rules the nervous system and is ruled by mercury, so the mind is central. Can't stress it enough, but writing,  journaling, speaking just getting your thoughts out. Since the mind is always active, look for ways to release that mental energy. Cardio, pilates, fast sports, board games, socialising. Can have fast metabolism and lean long body parts so accustom your diet and exercise based on that. Massage your shoulders, read a book, and do stretch regularly. Honestly..  joke around, taking all those thoughts seriously is no good. DO YO NAILLS 💅

Cancer/4th house - chest, breast, stomach, womb 

— Ruled by the moon, get a healthy outlet for your emotions, accept your emotions, write, speak up, cry when you need, watch something funny, your comfort show, make yourself laugh. Check your hormones regularly, find a good diet for stomach health, whole grains and high-fiber foods, take your digestive supplements. Do yoga, stomach exercises, breathing exercises. Drink lots of water. Choose your friends wisely, find people you trust. Make your bedroom comfy, invest in a quality bed, get yourself comfy clothes. Cooking your own food is again a self love thing to do, baking, homey places, nature and quiet places. Get you a furr baby.  

Leo/5th house - heart, spine, spinal column, upper back 

— Ruled by the sun, go out more and get your vitamin d. Choose heart-healthy foods, leafy greens and soluble fiber foods and supplements. Check your heart health and blood pressure. Do exercises that work for both your heart, your upper back and shoulders, aerobic exercises, fun sports and activities. You can be generous to everyone but be generous to yourself too, buy yourself gifts, spoil yourself. Do a full hair and skin routine, find a hobby, watch shows that inspire you, make your inner child happy. Embrace you emotions, your skills, pursue your passions, be expressive and go out for adventures.

Virgo/6th house - abdomen, digestive system, intestines, spleen

— Listen to your body and keep adjusting your diet and routine to fit your needs. Your body can be just as picky, so be mindful of the food you consume, of any allergies or foods that are hard to digest. Get your digestive supplements and enzymes, do your research. Choose gut-healthy foods and the best times to eat for you. Go for a nature walk, exercise to release any pent-up stress, cardio or pilates. Get indoors plants or plant them yourself. Spend time with pets. Make your own natural medicine that works for you, even if as simple as tea. Read a book, journal to organize your thoughts, keep your space clean. Reward yourself and acknowledge your efforts and progress. 

Libra/7th house - kidneys, lower back, bladder, buttocks

— Find a way to maintain a balanced lifestyle that works for you. Add a variety of nutrients to your diet, foods for healthy kidneys to make that skin glow, antioxidant foods and supplements. Keep your kidneys and bladder healthy. Lower body and buttocks exercises, strength training, dancing, going out for walks. Decorate and beautify your own place, try new recipes, go for a picnic. How you feel is more important than how you look, make yourself feel pretty, do a skincare routine, create a vision board, romanticize your life. Be the person you want to love and identify your own opinions from those of others, yours matter. 

Scorpio/8th house - genitals, colon, urethra, reproductive system

— With all those transformative energies, change what you consume to fulfill your changed needs, feeding your body and mind the proper nutrients. Maintain healthy reproductive organs and balanced hormones, do your check ups. Maintain healthy guts, fiber and antioxidant rich foods, high vitamin drinks, herbal medicine can be beneficial too. Lower body and muscle exercises, stretch regularly, breath and meditate to calm your mind. Invest in quality skincare and unscented hygiene products. Journal, write your reflections, your progress and goals, positive affirmations, light your great scented candles and watch a funny show. 

Sagittarius/9th house - thighs, hips, liver, legs

— Go out and wander around, exploring new places, foods, and random things will light you up, you know it. Find a diet that works for your energy levels, protein rich foods and shakes, citrus and greens, simple nutritious meals. Watch out for any leg injuries. Go out for running, do leg exercises, muscle building, any outdoors sports. Write a bucket list, update your wishes list, go for mini solo adventures, speak to the locals when you travel, learn new words, find authentic travel souvenirs. Listen to a podcast or watch a documentary, keep a positive outlook on your future, positive environment and self-talk.

Capricorn/10th house - bones, joints, knees, skin, hair

— Can get caught up in doing or not doing things, so allow yourself to both be active and rest when you need. Find foods and supplements that are good for bone strength and joint health, calcium and magnesium rich foods, going out and getting your vitamin d is good for both your skin and bones. Going for morning runs, muscle building workouts, chiropractic-approved exercises and stretches, any leg sports. Invest in skincare and dental care. Write down things like goals, tasks list, and self development notes. Watch things that motivate you and light you up, acknowledge how far you’ve come.

Aquarius/11th house - ankles, calfs, achilles, circulatory system 

— Can be very future focused, so do protect your hopes and find an outlet to express them but enjoy the present as it is. Add water-rich foods to your diet, foods that help the blood flow like fatty fish, avocados and other circulation boosters or supplements. Exercises that improve circulation like jogging, cycling, cardio, dancing, swimming. Find ways to express your ideas of the world and fantasies, music can put you in that creative energy, meditation, talking to a friend. Take a long bath, light some candles, write down your ideas, your hopes and dreams, your thoughts and what you're grateful for. 

Pisces/12th house - feet, toes, pineal gland, lymphatic system 

— Can also be spacey and future focused so any self expression activities can help that energy flow. Choose foods that help maintain your body fluid balance, water-rich foods, leafy veggies, omega 3 rich foods, and supplements that boost lymphatic drainage. Avoid foods that drain your lymphatic system. Find hobbies that light you up, listen to music, paint, be creative. Nature walks, swimming, cardio, cycling, dancing. Taking frequent baths and soaking your feet in soap and epsom salt water can release stress from the feet area, grounding activities, reflecting, journaling and writing down your hopes and thoughts.

✧ PLANETS

Sun - heart, head, spine, spinal cord, eyes — can influence vitality, heart function, headaches, fever, eyesight.. etc

Moon - stomach, breast, lungs, blood circulation, body fluids — can influence colds, blood flow, dehydration, stomach issues.

Mercury - nervous system, ears, mouth, skin — can influence ear problems, mental illness, restlessness, breathing issues.

Venus - face, cheeks, throat, bladder, skin —  can influence skin issues, bladder infections, throat issues, carbs and sugar balance. 

Mars - chest, muscles, blood, genitals — can influence accidents, wounds, muscles weakness, energy levels, genital diseases.

Jupiter - liver, kidneys, pancreas, thighs — can influence cholesterol issues, fatty liver, toxins overload, diabetes, kidneys issues.

Saturn - bones, teeth, hair, legs, joints, knees — can influence knee or joint problems, dental problems, wisdom teeth, bone diseases, hair loss.

Note that these are just suggestions that I hope remind you and inspire you to listen to your body and take good care of it, discern, do your research and take only what works for you. much love 🫶

#astrology #astrology signs #astrology planets #medical astrology #self love #self care #self improvement #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements #astro community #birth chart #solar return #transits #astrology transits #astrology degrees #healthy habits #health

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I had previously been under the impression that AZA accredited zoos and aquariums in the USA are more likely to take good care of animals than those that lack this accreditation. Is this incorrect?

It's... really complicated. The short answer is: maybe? Which doesn't help at all, I'm sure. I'm working on a huge project to try to quantify a bunch of accreditation stuff, so I don't want to say anything concrete from preliminary data, y'know?

Accreditation at a facility tells you, basically, what standards they are supposed to meet and what political group / industry club they're part of. But there's a lot of issues with all of the five zoological accrediting / certifying bodies where oversight during the accreditation cycles doesn't really exist in a functional way? Either reporting systems are in place that highly disincentivize reporting (because they aren't anonymous and could be tracked back to a staffer) or just don't have formal protocols for it all.

So being AZA accredited tells you the type of expectations they're trying to live up to, and what standards they met at the time they were inspected. I have some concerns about whether the standards for certain aspects of accreditation (like aesthetic stuff, not animal care) are really sustainable for duration given how you're constantly hearing about how zoos scramble to get all the little deferred things fixed prior to the next inspection. But, that's not necessarily an issue with the zoos, and more the program - and that's something that AFAIK happens with every accrediting group, not just AZA.

There's also an aspect of how the requirements of each accrediting program kind of... self select for the type of zoos they want? AZA's application and annual fees are incredibly high, which isn't necessarily a good use of money for many smaller facilities; they also require compliance with a lot of things not related to animal care and welfare, like internal staffing structure and facility aesthetics. Again, something that either smaller facilities just can't afford - do you spend money on the animals or on paving all your pathways? - or aren't interested in getting involved with because of how intrusive it is. So most of the AZA zoos you see are the bigger, well-funded ones with city-type aesthetics, because that's what who the program is set up to encourage to apply. (There are definitely exceptions to this, but find me a big city zoo that isn't AZA or in the process of becoming AZA).

To try to answer your questions, AZA zoos are more likely to be high quality because in order to be accredited, they have to have a certain amount of cash flow. Having more funding / income tends to make regular operating issues easier to solve. AZA zoos are certainly more heavily scrutinized every five years by their accrediting body than a group like ZAA, which is mostly focused on animal care / education / conservation and isn't going to meddle in a zoo's business operations. But AZA zoos aren't perfect. Most of them don't even meet all of the AZA standards completely at the time of inspection: there was an article a couple years back about how rare it was that Cheyenne Mountain Zoo met all of the AZA standards at the time of inspection - only the 4th zoo to do so in AZA's 50-something year history. (How that works is that zoos that don't meet all the standards but are close get provisionally accredited, and then have to fix or improve some stuff within the first year to keep it). And believe me, AZA zoos can and do have problems too - look at the embezzlement conducted by the previous leadership at Columbus, or the sexual assault and conduct issues with the Director at Henry Vilas. They're just less often covered in ways that are visible to the public.

Accreditation is a good indicator what a zoo intends to be, and what animal care / conservation ethos it participates in. It isn't, however, always a guarantee that the facility is good or that the animal care (or staff welfare!) is better than at an unaccredited or alternately-accredited place.

#zoo politics #accreditation politics #zoo accreditation #ongoing work

[thebreakfastgenie]

My take on "white woman tears" is that the tears are real. There are people who can cry at will, but tears (or the lack of them) are most often an involuntary physiological response.

I think in most cases it's just that being told you're wrong and hurting someone is a humiliating experience, especially when it's true. Specific to the context of calling out racism, a lot of white people don't really understand systemic racism and see it more as there are The RacistsTM who are the bad people. I think the popular white American image of a racist is, like, George Wallace. This especially applies when you are dealing with white people who think of themselves as tolerant and are not only being criticized, they are being asked to reevaluate what may be a pillar of their sense of self.

The real issue with white women who burst into tears when they're called out for racism is that they have re-centered the conversation around their feelings. For white people who are actually committed to antiracism, one of the basic steps is learning that systemic racism is more important than their personal feelings. People are more likely to notice rank they lack than rank they have an abundance of, so white women tend to be more aware of how they are affected by misogyny than how they uphold racism. Once again, part of antiracist work is becoming conscious of that. You see this too with working class white people who have a negative emotional reaction to being told they have white privilege, because their understanding of their lives revolves around the economic privilege they lack.

The way "white woman tears" is so often framed is "[white] women are manipulative cunts who can all burst into tears on cue." This perpetuates misogynistic myths about women. It's also worth noting that privileged white people bursting into tears when faced with the possibility of consequences for their actions is not a female phenomenon. The poster child is Brett Kavanaugh, who is not only a man but a man who burst into tears when he was called out for sexually assaulting at least one woman, and he did not even face any real consequences. I also don't think Brett Kavanugh was crying on cue. When you've been protected from consequences your whole life, even the slightest possibility that you might face them now is a very emotional experience. His tears did not make me feel bad for him in the slightest, but that doesn't mean they were fake.

Which brings me around to another thought, which I think a more productive way to address this would be to stop treating tears like an emotional trump card. You don't have to comfort someone just because they are crying, especially if you know they're crying because they've been rightly called out. Crying is also not the only manifestation of negative emotional reaction to confronting racism. Arguing and defensively talking over people of color frequently comes from the same place. I think we tend to associate arguing with white men, and therefore see it as more logical, but it isn't.

I also want to acknowledge white women crying is especially frustrating for women of color and Black women in particular, because they have been forced since birth to limit their emotional expression. To return to Supreme Court examples, I cannot even imagine the media reaction if Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson had shown any emotional response whatsoever to the Republican senators who would not stop talking about child exploitation materials during her confirmation hearing.

I also want to be absolutely clear that white emotions after being called out for racism should not ever be the responsibility of people of color. Antiracist work can be very uncomfortable for white people. It is our responsibility to work that out.

#also before anyone says like oh you must be a white woman who cries #the last time I remember crying was in 2019 #I'm much more likely to argue and I have to work at checking that behavior

[system-of-a-feather]

Alternative System Mind Mapping Method for Communication

[DISCLAIMER: This is not a professional or scientifically or anything really backed method, this is something coming solely from peer / personal experience.]

In regards to an anon ask earlier, I was thinking about it and one of the ways we've approached improving communication - particularly internal - in a way that is a lot less prone to flooding or dealing with trauma or anything too overwhelming - is by approaching it following the concept of Memory Webs

I haven't read up on them recently, but "Memory Webs" were a thing that our AP Psychology teacher in highschool made us do because the AP Psych test was term / jargon heavy. Memory in the human brain has been shown to be HEAVILY associative and the ability to remember and connect things tends to rely on following a "web" of connected topics, ideas, concepts etc from one idea to the next.

So in our AP Psych class, she gave us these GIANT books for Vocabulary Webs that we had to slowly work on, each of which required 6 other vocab words / related concepts, a summarized definition, and an image to represent it. By doing this, you added 6 cues to recall the word (increasing the chance you'd remember it), a visual cue, an episodic memory of working on it, and a definition - all in all improving how connected the word is to other concepts in your brain and making it easier to recall it.

I personally like to look at DID and our parts in a similar manner sometimes where the large issue is that a lot of the nodes in the web of associations are either disconnected or connected through a hard-to-find and/or small chain. In that sense, parts struggle to be held together because they are not associated concepts. It's hard to reach other parts because the dissociative walls (which in our unsubstantiated opinion is less a 'wall' and more so a lack of reinforced neural connections, so I would call them dissociative caverns) keep associations from forming

As a result, alternative to more traditional ways of mapping your system and parts, a method I've liked to internally visualize systems and navigating system dynamics is through a memory web manner. (I actually have never done it physically cause the Ray part of my brain - also the most prominent part writing this rn - rarely liked to front if he didn't have to and did a lot of stuff internally)

Here's a bit of a breakdown using six of our parts if any of you want to try it out.

We personally like it because it strips a lot of trauma and stress off of it and makes it a lot more of a positive and present engaging activity. For the purposes of this, I'll be using the free online app of Milanote cause we've used it before for OC associative webs and I think it'll do fine enough. (Honestly it actually might just be a good way to log alter information now that I'm looking at it if you are at a place in recovery where keeping track of that physically helpful)

So we can start by dropping down the parts we want to include in the form of boards

So from here, we have a bunch of disconnected parts. However, we find that a lot of these parts have things that mean a lot to them, that illicit a strong emotion or reaction from them.

Some parts may lack it more than others (often in our case trauma holders and/or trauma locked parts) and that's okay and to be expected. This is a visualization method and if there isn't much connecting a part that is 100% okay.

For demonstration sake, I will now add bubbles around each part of things that were pretty early apparent that each individual liked.

Also for the purposes of how I know our system works and how I plan to do this, I am actually moving Riku to the center and you will all see why Riku is such an S tier center point with this model

So you can see some connections forming.

Some key things you can take from this visual that also applied to earlier stags of how we connected

Lucille and Riku are and have always been pretty darn connected, they go back as one of the longest duos and were split almost as a pair to deal with academics

Chunn and Ray have a very shared interest of "I don't want to do anything leave me alone"

XIV literally was just a piece of shit early on and didn't have any immediate HARD connections with anyone largely because he never was interested in actually engaging in things he liked in a positive way as his "favorite emotion" at the time was "being pissed off"

Lin - an originally trauma stuck / loop - is very very poorly associated with anything that isn't overtly trauma related (and that is saying something cause Vocaloid is trauma related) and thus has very few connections to other parts

So looking at this though, there are a few things that have some similarities between parts. What you can do is make plans to try to foster the interests that you do have and try to generalize it a bit more to also encompass what interests other parts have. So lets engage in hobbies a little more - explore a few concepts that mean a lot to parts independently - and find some more generalized version of those hobbies

(forgot to add easy listening to Ray's and "only wearing monochrome*" to XIV's earlier) (*there are a lot of nuances and caveats)

Damn, look at that. It's messy and ugly to have in a 2D form. I absolutely hate it, this would be so impossible with our whole system. But HEY, it's very connected - and that's the goal.

Compared to the previous one, you can see how easily it can be for one part's interests to start to drift into another. Because they are largely and strongly associated features to each part, they are a lot more accessible when engaging in their shared / associated connections and interests which makes it easier for the them to stay together near the front, stay associated with one another, and work with and communicate with one another.

Of course anyone following this blog goes "Where tf is Birds" and that I left out because it would ruin the point of the web as it actually is one of our traditional "you are around the system a lot? okay pick a bird" which serves to 1) be a fun system culture thing 2) be a means of welcoming a part in and 3) helps establish a foundational connection; we do the same with music but with music its a lot more elaborate and I probably wont explain it for other reasons.

But overtime, by fostering interests that were already present and encouraging parts to broaden and generalize their specific interest a bit, you end up with a lot of overlapping associations that can greatly improve internal communication, co-fronting ability, and just general fluidity and easy of moving around the brain web.

It becomes a good way of trying to figure out what you can do to encourage and help build connections and associations between parts by seeing where things are similar / could have more overlap (combat and martial arts, different types of fashion, different types of music, different appreciation for arts, taking over the world, yada yada yada)

And you wanna know the coolest thing? When you step back from the whole web you can see certain things appear that stand out the most and have some of the most connections.

If you ever intend to go to Final Fusion, those are the things that will likely be the most prominent traits of your whole self

For us? [REDACTED BIRDS for the point of the demonstration], Music, Fashion, Taking over the World, Recovery and Healing, Buddhism, Martial Arts, Arts in general - they're all some of our largest traits that persist in almost all forms as individual parts, partially fused parts, and fully fused parts.

And the BEST part? Doing this didn't require us to touch trauma at all.

Of course in recovery that will come up cause PTSD doesn't ask permission, but its a very low stress way to help improve internal communication and engagement with one another.

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #resources #advice #internal communication #integration #feather's unsubstantiated theraputic tools #unsubstantiated advice #alter: fei #final fusion #functional multiplicity #wishiwashi recovery #system mapping #system map #mind mapping #mindmap #recovery #healing #alter: ray #<- heavily authored by that part of this brain #system dynamics

[drdemonprince]

Re: an anon from November 15th: do you have advice on how become more comfortable with negativity? Because the White Woman Socialization Brain is strong with this one and I've had a couple of friends say it gives me a tone-policing problem

I'm going to depart from my usual gradual tolerance-building exercise approach here (though all that stuff still applies) and give you a more targeted recommendation:

I think you need to find a friend who can be a bit of a shitty little outrageous bitch in how they speak and emote, but who is at their core a wonderful, reliable, and morally stand-up person, and make a special place for them in your life.

The type of person who is not afraid to be disagreeable, who says "terrible!" and launches into a whole long rant about why when you ask them how their day is going and who will show up to your house with groceries when you are sick and start cooking and cleaning all around even when you've (lyingly) said you do not need the help. The type of person who will teach your nervous system that negativity is not bad, that ruining the vibe is sometimes needed, and that we can be good people even while not worrying about making other people feel good.

You can often locate such people in hard-core activist spaces, as the people steadily Doing the Work for years on end are unlikely to be motivated by soft, tender feelings, because those emotions sure don't keep in that line of work. You can also find them in places like AA programs (or SMART Recovery meetings, etc), support groups, queer discussion groups, book clubs, marxist reading groups, church groups, food kitchens, and any other gathering of people that is motivated by a strong ideological commitment or interest in intellectual pursuits but which can be rather dry or unpleasant in its execution of their ideals. you can also just like, throw a stone in places like New York or Boston or Philly and hit three to five people like these. Even as far out as Pittsburgh or Cleveland there is a lot of them.

Now, if you have chronic white woman everybody must be happy all the time syndrome (which really just means i will *make* everybody pretend to be happy or else im going to lose my shit), it can be tempting to fall in with someone who *seems* like a person like this, but who in actuality is a manipulative undermining abuser taking advantage of your tendency to excuse and downplay their many slights and offenses.

You do not want that. You want someone who can accept criticism just as readily as they dish it out. The kind of person who will fire off at the mouth but then go "oh dammit, youre right, i hate it but youre right" the moment you point out a valid flaw in their logic. Someone brash, but with a heart. Someone who can teach you that conflict is inevitable, and needed, and that saying something weird or off-putting is not the end of the world, and that arguing and complaining can actually bring you closer to someone when it is done authentically and from a place of good faith.

to find this person, keep putting yourself in places that align with the type of person you'd like to be, filled with people who are doing things with their lives that you admire. notice your initial reactions to people. who is off putting? is that a fair judgement? who are you afraid of upsetting? who expresses themselves in a way you'd never, ever dare to? most kind of unpleasant people wont be the special Prickly Friend for You, they'll just be kind of annoying people you dont want to be around. but at some point you will notice, hey actually, this person is a little off and irascible, but i notice they always come through for people. they might not be the most elegant in how they express their views, but when i think about it, i think they tend to be right. over time a person like that will prove themselves through their behavior and track record, and as you get more acclimated to their way of communicating, you'll find your voice of disagreement too.

good luck!

[norm-less-ness]

I don't necessarily think that the forms sinners take are their own form of hell-ish torment. We've seen, heaven also has a variety of creatures and Sir Pentious doesn't stop being a snake when he ascends. I personally tend to see them as elaborate metaphors. Something more holistic to who the person was. If Earth is a trial then the people who decide the true form of your immortal soul are probably taking notes.

If you're comfortable with your hellish form it's probably because you largely accepted who you were and what you did or maybe had good self awareness at least. Unhappy? Maybe it's because you spent your life chasing the wrong path or simply struggled to introspect.

He's a few little theories on why certain hell denizens might look the way they do beyond what simply caused their deaths or as punishment.

We're already aware of Angel Dust's family and their web of crimes but I think Alastor's human life connected him to deers beyond simply his death. It could have been a feeling of persecution or simply his mannerisms and preference for a certain type of elusive grace and politeness. Since Deer are often considered elegant and Alastor wanted to persue that kind of image.

Vox is a television but also seems to have connections to sea creatures and bioluminescence more generally. Since the afterlife runs off symbolism, things that produce a lot of light and are distant from humanity probably exist on a similar wavelength despite throwing a TV in the ocean sounding like a bad idea. The ocean is also a big unknown and new technology tends to surprise people. There's also the obvious connections to presenting yourself to be a certain viewable way. His link to electricity might also be related to his nervous system being out of wack he seems to be prone to extreme reactions.

Some quick speculation of some of the other characters:

Sir. Pentious's paranoia may have manifested as an animal able to bluff itself (through mimicry) to get itself to safety. Snakes are also associated with fear in general. A fearful person becoming something that makes others afraid in turn. Maybe his inventions were made to cure or heal people in an unconventional way, since snakes are associated with healing too. Another theory I've heard is that his inventions were along the lines of a snake oil salesman, but that's a bit more abstract and less holistic.

Velvette is likely a recent resident of hell. Influncers might feel themselves objectified in order to create parasocial appeal. Another term for applying a lot of make-up is to get 'dolled up'.

Niffty was potentially looked down upon as a housewife in the 50s. Maybe her personality made her feel more like a pest or nuisance rather than a person, or maybe people just saw her as annoying, and she internalized that.

Cats are good luck, but black cats are bad luck. Cats are the companions of witches. Husk is a gambler who goes on to represent the throws of good and bad luck while being a former magician.

Of course, I'm probably thinking too hard and this is all silly speculation. But the idea of someone's afterlife form being a 'truer' form of their soul is just, neat.

#obligatory this is all headcanon #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel #vox #alastor #velvette #sir pentious #niffty

[transgamerthoughts]

a night at poe's masquerade

Last night I made a quick tweet about how I think Persona games (particular from Persona 3 onwards) tend to be fundamentally conservative games. In worlds filled with magic powers, shadow selves, and literal gods there's an understanding that many of the most villainous people you can know are folks in positions of social/political power who weaponize their status in order to prey on those beneath them. This is a particular focus of Persona 5 but it extends even back to back to a game like Persona 2 and characters like Tatsuzou Sudou. Although these games acknowledge the social structures that lead to particularly vicious kinds of abuse, there is tendency for our protagonist to then fold themselves into those power structures. In games that focus less on real-life political allegory, there's still pattern of protagonists eventually accepting the societal roles that they're initial chafing against. It's a very common occurrence in the series. clockwork!

Persona 4 is the chief culprit here. Yukiko struggles with the idea that her presumed inheritance of the Amagi Inn is an imposition on her life but makes peace with that fact and eventually prepares herself for that role. Chie confronts Adachi, shocked that anyone who chose to be a police officer would do so for selfish reasons or betray the ideal image she holds of that job. Though confronted with the ways in which the system enabled Adachi's murders, she ultimately decided that she wants to become a police officer. Just as some examples. there's more. it's a fraught game in many ways

(I'm not gonna talk about Naoto. That's a minefield. as a trans critic people ask what I think about Naoto quite often. my answer is I like Naoto quite a bit and while I appreciate the queer read I don't need her story to be actually about transness. my tongue in cheek deep position here is that I think she's the damn coolest thing in the Dancing All Night opening movie. absolute fire!)

Persona fans are totally reasonable human beings. by which I mean that they might be the most electric and fuckin' absurd fandom I've ever encountered. While some people agreed with my read of the series, many others swarmed in. Which is fine enough. That's just what happens when you're visible on Twitter. I don't really have an interest in outlining the series in gross detail although, contrary to many accusations, I have played all the mainline games. One thing that can never be hurled my way is a suggestion that I don't play videos games. This criticism doesn't arise out of nowhere though I admit I didn't exactly expect it to become a trending topic floating in the "For You" tab. I was tweeting before bed.

Lesson learned! this fandom is wild! So it goes!

I've been thinking about people's responses and I want to venture into fraught territory to talk about a particularly bad habit I see from many fans. Which I think can be extended to things like ongoing debates about localization as much as they can apply to this little tempest in a teapot. Which is that I've grown somewhat concerned with he ways in which RPG fans (intentionally or not) exoticize Japan as a means to defend their favorite games from critique. It's kinda bad!

and I'm gonna risk a ramble exploring the topic… and I wonder how tumblr in 2024 will compare in reaction to hellscape of twitter

Something you often encounter in these discussions is an implication (sometimes a direct suggestion) that it is impossible to really engage with Japanese media as a westerner. That there's too many layers of nuance and too many centuries of ingrained tradition for anyone who has not engaged in lengthy study on the topic to penetrate. Often, this is framed as a desire to simply put things in cultural contexts. respect it and give due seriousness! Which is fine. I absolutely think if you wanna talk about something like the portrayal of the Japanese justice system in Judgement, it probably helps to… y'know… know details about the Japanese justice system. If you want to talk about how a game approaches gender, an understanding of certain social mores is important. No one debates this; it's important to understand art as arising from specific material conditions and places.

This is not really the approach people take however. Instead there is an insistence that the cultural difference between Japan and western nations is essentially insurmountable. Which has some bad implications. I think people are well meaning when they're like "hey, you gotta watch this YouTuber talk about Shintoism and JRPG boss fights for over an hour" but it comes at the cost of painting the culture as something of a puzzle to solve. and make no mistake: I'm glad anyone is doing the work but there's a bit of strangeness at play when folks are like "well you're American" and then tell me to watch criticism also made by Americans. especially since I do have a educational background that includes the study of world religions. i've studied plenty of this! and it's not impossible for me to have grasped.

the world is beautiful and nuanced and specific and full of vibrancies. but these things are not so singular that we can't connect with them or come to know them. and those nuances and specifics and vibrances don't create a protective ward around works. if anything, they're invitations to explore something new. if I walk away from Persona with a position that you don't agree with I promise that it's not something that's happened in haste. It used to be my job to think about games. and I've thought about Persona a lot! it's not inaccesible.

When we start to paint a culture as being particularly foreign we inherently exoticize it. We drape a degree of mystery over it which implies there is no universal connections found in art. Of course the concept of "police" is different in Japan to some extent as is the expectations that go into inheriting a family business. yes, the social nuances of a classroom differ. But Japan is not so alien to the western critic that we can't look at popular fiction and spot patterns. I certain don't need a 17 anime consumer to write me an essay on honne and tatemae or whatever in order to understand what's going on in the Midnight Channel. It's an easily observable truth that Persona often identifies issues within Japan society while also (particularly in Persona 5's case) concluding that these problems are not a consequence of specific power structures but rather moral failings of certain bad individuals. That's the text. Even when it wants to suggest otherwise.

Here's a little snippet from Persona 5. On face value, it seems to contradict what I'm saying. "Harper, how can you say that it only cares about individuals when it outright says that society itself needs to be addressed!?" DO YOU EVEN PLAY THESE GAMES YOU BITCH?! The answer is that the game does not have a model or idea of what it means to change society except vaguely to inspire people to more individual action. be nicer. stand up for yourself, speak your truth, do things for your own reasons. which has a radical element to it in the context to be sure but we've spent a huge portion of the game seeing how the abuse of power, particularly power placed in certain positions and social strata

a change of mindset is good but… is that sufficient? I'm not entirely convinced. not if this game want to truly deliver on everything it has explored. (side note, a lot of folks were like "why are you focusing on p5 so much here?" and the answer is that it's recent, representative of the series' values from the last decade or so, and because I'm a tired adult in their 30s who has stuff to do and isn't obligated to make a 300 tweet long thread breaking down multiple scripts. if you want me to do that labor, you better pay me for my time. otherwise I don't care to appease fan who have no plans of truly entertaining what I'd do anyway. no breakdown I do could please them)

but you fight Yaldabaoth Harper! You kill the collective gestalt representative of the status quo!. okay sure but the metaphorical battle falters as the game ultimately imagines many of our heroes (for instance Makoto, who also decides to become a cop even after her sister leaves the profession to become a defense attorney) are content to slide into the power structures as they exist. they've simply become "good apples" in the same basket that held the bad ones What does it matter if you kill the metaphor when you don't carry through elsewhere? It's not simply some vague human desire to be exploited that created the various monstrous villains we face throughout the game. There's real material circumstances, systems and long-held powers that gave them the carte blanche that enabled their abuses! Be they financial, political, or even sexual.

We might layer nuances on top of this of course. Notions of reticence to change or valuing of tradition, attitudes towards elders. But when we do so it's important be careful. When fans imply impenetrabilities in the works by virtue of cultural difference, there's a risk of veering into a kind of Orientalism. One which mystifies the culture and turns it into a kind of "other." Distant, strange. This sometimes comes paired with a kind of infantilization of creators but that's a different though similarly fraught topic that I think is particularly best left in the hands of the creators themselves. I'm not the person to talk about that!

Nevertheless, a frustrating part of the response to my tweet today has been a rush to say "This work functions that makes it necessarily elide your ability to critique it."

I'll be an ass and generalize. It's mostly people with Persona avatars making this suggest. That Persona, as a Japanese work, is imbued with an ineffable quality that magically allows it to side-step what's ultimately a pretty timid conclusion. Many of these folks are younger players, self-identified as such in profiles, who clearly have a deep connection to the series. It means something to them. But I'd rather they simply say "hey, I found this thing particularly moving at an important moment in my life" rather than conjure an impassable ocean between myself (or really anyone) and the work in the event they find flaws.

Otherwise, you just get this:

Stories are not merely about what happens on the journey. The destination does matter. It means something when the king grabs his shining sword and fights off the orc invaders or whatever. A value system is suggested Similarly, it does means something when Chie becomes a cop. (This is just a shorthand example mind you! But you hopefully get the idea!)

I don't think games or any work of art need us to defend them. The trap of fandom is that you often turn to any possible means to justify what you love. For Persona, a series which does have the decency to explore cultural issues, that same cultural specificity is often weaponize by fans (largely western fans even!) to deflect certain problems. This process inadvertently portrays that culture as a mystery, a shrouded thing that we cannot ever criticize. It's one thing to dig into some of those contextual specifics but it's another all-together to imply these specifics provide a mean to abrogate certain analyses. and I think navigating the line between due deference and something deeper and stranger seems to be something many of the fans reacting to me... have not managed. I had a peer talk to me about this situation and their feeling was that the animated members of the fandom that were coming at me, many of whom are self-identified as young and western, were kinda treating Japan like it was a land of elves. which it's not! it is a place on Earth and yes we need to take strides to understand and respect certain specificities... but we can't mystify an entire people. especially if the purpose is to turn those people and their culture into a shield. a means to justify and validate the specialness you see in a franchise.

I call Persona conservative because it cannot imagine a world in any other shape that what we have right now. God dies but nothing actually changes. I don't think it's enough to say "well, they defeated the god! and they needed the collective strength of society to do it! people did change because without that change of heart, the heroes wouldn't have the magical juice to fight the Kabbalah monster!" to toss Makoto's words back at the series: victory against a single god is meaningless if the true enemy is society.

If you can't show me what that grand spiritual change means for society, then I think you've kinda failed. you've certainly failed if the conclusion is that the world after that change is functionally the same and it doesn't really matter to me if "they talk about this in Strikers or whatever" because you can't offload your thematic snarls to side games. if the main stories you tell can't resolve this tension, that's a problem. these are often very beautiful games. they certainly have amazing structure and systems. but I don't think it's controversial to say they often hedge their bets at the end. and there's no impenetrable cultural wall surrounding the games that leaves the criticism off the table.

that's just What Happens. and it's fine for us to acknowledge flaws in even in things that contain beauty or meant something to us

really. it's fine.

#persona #casual game crit #fandom

[racefortheironthrone]

Not that this is the only example, but just watched "Lady Bird" where a major part of the plot is if the protagonist will go to NYU or UC Davis. As somebody who doesn't live in the United States and there aren't any "private universities" here just wondering if state schools are so bad? Why do they have such bad reputations or maybe just I'm just thinking too much of American-made entertainment?

This is a great question, because it allows me to talk about a topic that I find endlessly fascinating: how the cultural politics of class intersect with higher education.

With regards to Lady Bird, I think the first thing to understand is that it's a highly autobiographical film: Greta Gerwig also grew up in Sacramento, her parents had the same jobs as Lady Bird's parents, and Greta was also a theater kid who ended up going to a prestigious private university in New York City because she wanted to have a career in the performing arts. So what we're getting is not necessarily a universal experience, but how Greta Gerwig herself felt when she was a teenager.

Second, state schools are not bad but their reputations are ...complicated. The land grant universities are generally reasonably well-resourced, they have good reputations, and they provide an extremely solid middle class credential that provides a major pathway for social and economic mobility in the United States.

However, there is usually a hierarchy within the state school systems between the flagship campus(es) which are usually nationally ranked research universities - U.C Berkeley, UCLA, Ann Arbor (UMichigan), University of Wisconsin-Madison, UMass Amherst, etc. - and the other campuses in the same system, which tend to be less selective, less nationally well-known, and more focused on teaching.

This sometimes leads to state schools having a reputation among middle-class to affluent families with college educations as being less "aspirational" compared to selective private universities. (This doesn't apply to the flagship campuses, because they are more selective and thus more similar to elite private universities in terms of their reputations.) Kids from those families still apply to (and attend) state schools in large numbers, but the term that's often used for them is "safety schools" - they're the schools you apply to in case you don't get into the highly selective private schools who take 10% or less of their applicants.

Third, NYU versus UC Davis is actually a slightly odd fit for the "state school" versus "private university" comparison. NYU is not actually that selective: it takes in 13% of applicants, which makes it about the 40th most selective college in the U.S. That's surprisingly low down the totem pole, given that the annual cost of attending NYU would be around $84,000 for Lady Bird. (NYU actually has to be less selective than other private universities, because it has a fairly small endowment compared to the selective private universities, and is thus more reliant on tuition dollars for revenue.)

However, Lady Bird's conflict isn't so much about academics generally - it's more specific than that. Remember that Lady Bird/Greta Gerwig is a theater kid who wants a career in the performing arts. If you narrow your focus from which is the best university overall to which university has the best Film Studies program, NYU is the second-best film school in the country, and because it's right in NYC there's a direct pipeline to one of the main hubs of the film and tv industry.

At the same time, Lady Bird probably should have done a bit more research about California's public university system. Because of the legacy of the California Master Plan, there is a robust transfer system within California's public universities that allows students who are really on the grind to move their way up, so that you can potentially start at the least selective community colleges and end up graduating from the most selective flagship UC campuses. So Lady Bird could have easily gone straight from UC Davis to UCLA (because while UCLA takes in only ~11% of applicants, making it more selective than NYU, it takes in about 24% of transfers), which is also one of the best film schools in the country with a direct pipeline to Hollywood, and it doesn't cost $84,000 a year.

(Ironically, Greta Gerwig herself didn't actually end up going to film school - she ended up going to Barnard which isn't particularly known for film, ended up going into English Lit because she was intending to be a playwright, before becoming a breakout actor in the indie film world, and then zig-zagging from there into directing and back into writing.)

#academia #public policy #higher education #lady bird #greta gerwig #film school

[nofomogirl]

Before the Beginning (part 2.2.)

Part 1.1. | Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.4. | Part 1.5. | Part 2.1.

Continuing from the previous post (I really recommend checking it out before this one).

Let's consider each of my theories.

Aziraphale got it wrong

This theory's biggest appeal is that it paints an interesting picture of knowledge in Heaven. Or rather lack of it.

Before the Beginning Aziraphale is genuinely interested in the plan and generally comes across as well-informed. If he was wrong about what was it that was intended to last 6000 years, that begs the question: what kind of information was he working with? How vague and incomplete it must have been to misdirect him like this?

What if this was not an isolated slip or a personal flaw but this is what Heaven is like, in general? What if nothing is truly certain and just an interpretation, and therefore potentially wrong?

Good Omens do toy a lot with ideas like Heaven not being huge on knowledge so it would be fitting.

Heaven changed its mind

I imagine this theory would be particularly compelling if your headcanon is that Aziraphale genuinely believed he could course-correct Heaven's policies and make it better.

I mean, if Heaven originally intended to obliterate the entire universe but at some point scrapped that plan and decided to destroy just a single planet then there's no reason why it couldn't change other plans too.

Also, what I've written for the first theory about information in Heaven being unreliable still mostly holds because if plans can change then who's to say which ones are set in stone and which ones are negotiable.

Crowley doesn't remember

This theory's strongest point is that it's the simplest explanation. It's very likely within the current canon and it doesn't spawn as many additional questions as the others.

If Aziraphale got it wrong or Heaven changed its mind, when did Crowley find out? Before or after the Fall? If this was his first doubt why didn't it change anything that it wasn't the case in the end? Did Aziraphale find out it is going to be just Earth after all?

That's just the tip of the iceberg, really.

But memory loss makes it all simpler and doesn't contradict anything we already know.

Crowley is in denial

Now this theory, this one is my favourite.

That's because it offers an explanation for why Crowley constantly brushes off inconvenient facts other than "he's just an optimist" or "it's for Aziraphale's sake" or my least favourite "he knows it doesn't really matter".

Crowley is a trauma survivor who's permanently trapped in an oppressive and abusive system. That does things to a person. It leads to trauma responses and coping mechanisms that are often unhealthy and irrational.

(Funnily enough, while Aziraphale's abuse is so frequently invalidated, there are still a lot of amazing metas out there analyzing how his trauma messed with his head, as traumas tend to do. But I haven't seen similar takes on Crowley. Yes, his abuse is never questioned but it's constantly romanticized, which, if you think about it, isn't any better.)

In my opinion, Crowley's coping mechanism is that when there's something terrible that he cannot change, he does his best to ignore it and live his life as if it weren't true, sometimes to the point of pushing it entirely out of his consciousness.

My headcanon

As I've already written, I strongly favour the last theory. But that's not what I mean by "my headcanon".

My headcanon is that whatever is the reason and however it happened, Aziraphale and Crowley believe two different things. Crowley believes the 6000 years deadline applies to Earth alone. Aziraphale still believes it applies to the entire material universe. And they're both unaware that the other understands the End of the World differently.

I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this.

I hope to find some time and unsurprise you with it in the next post.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #post series #before the beginning

[cdlum]

Hi I just wanted to know how you get that paper-y pixel-y texture on your art, it's really fascinating

(not just cause of the obvious)

sure thing! i often use a number of post-processing effects to achieve results like that with stuff like backgrounds. that sounds a lot more complicated than it is, really all you need is any art program that utilizes a layer based system. i use clip studio paint and it's what i'll be using as an example here.

for the sake of simplicity, what i recommend doing is creating a seperate folder for whatever aspect of your piece you want to apply an effect like this to, though you can layer it at the top of the stack if you want it to affect everything beneath. this is the base canvas example im using, which is just a flat color with a gradient background.

so for an effect like that texture grain, what i do is create a perlin noise layer, by making a new layer and going to filter > render > perlin noise. this creates what is effectively a bunch of tv static on your canvas.

this in itself isn't too useful unless its the effect you're going for on its own, so what you want to do is scale the noise so its really fine. i tend to set it as small as it can go but you can certainly go a bit bigger and still achieve the same effect. too large and itll look a bit too inconsistent to look like textured paper.

if youve done all this, what you'll have is some very fine tv static, so what you'll wanna do now is head to the layer settings and change them to something like this. things like opacity are up to you, but it basically controls how pronounced the effect is which may vary piece by piece depending on what you're shooting for.

additionally, you can add a posterization layer that will make things even more granular. i think the two effects can really compliment each other but really its all about experimentation. here's a comparison with and without.

a lot of programs will group a lot of these features together and i recommend messing about with them to see what does and doesnt compliment your style. its a real benefit of working with digital to be able to easily mess around with a piece, and ive often made some 11th hour adjustments to my own work this way. hope this helps!

[gatheringbones]

[“…. right from its psychoanalytic beginnings, mental illness was connected to amorality, a legacy that is challenging to distance ourselves from, and amorality was connected to femininity. Although we have come a long way, assumptions about the superiority of rationality persist in our field, at least within Anglo and Western dominant paradigms. For example, the field of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) rests on the assumption that we can literally exercise mind over matter. CBT does view a connection between thoughts, emotions and behaviors but mostly intervenes at the level of thoughts and behaviors, trying to change “distorted thinking” and “maladaptive behaviors.” There is an almost unspoken assumption that “rational” thoughts and behaviors are always morally superior and to be preferred in the field of mental health.

It is no accident, in my opinion, that rational thoughts and behaviors are stereotypically associated with masculinity and, more specifically white and Anglo masculinity. Even though gender seems to be but a minor branch of topical interest in psychology and mental health, gendered assumptions run deep in our field. It’s rare that anyone questions bold assertions, made by mental health providers on a daily basis, on how “men and women work.” Those assumptions are, after all, foundational to many theories and approaches.

Even when gender is not mentioned at all in certain theories, in practice people tend to apply them differently with “male and female” clients. It’s even rarer that the whole premise of two gender is put into question and, when it is, it only seems to pertain to transgender and/or nonbinary people, leaving the main tenets of gendered thinking in dominant culture untouched and unquestioned. Mental health with and for transgender and/or nonbinary people then becomes its own specialist branch, which means the rest of the field can continue undisturbed in their assumptions about men and women, as long as we keep to our turf and don’t shake the cisgenderist foundation of the whole discipline. This too is a colonizing and capitalist approach. If we’re kept separate from one another, we can be better controlled and, most importantly, there can be more specialties, and therefore more certifications and trainings to be sold and bought.

Even in the field of family therapy, where systemic thinking could open a different conversation about gender, all too often we fall back on established stereotypes and pseudoscience about gender as a rigid binary. Yet, I have found that when I can support people in connecting genuinely to gender as a historical, social and cultural construct, a better understanding of one another can emerge across differences that are made to look chasmic by people who are invested in selling solutions specific to “men,” “women,” and “transgender and/or nonbinary people.” Unfortunately the discourse that men are from Mars, women are from Venus and trans people from Transylvania (at least according to The Rocky Horror Picture Show) is familiar to people and, like many other popular discourses, is reproduced effortlessly by providers and researchers who are also brought up within these dominant paradigms.

Sometimes people acknowledge that what they’re working with are issues like toxic masculinity, but they’re reluctant to then broaden the lens to indicate how larger systems support the reproduction of such harmful, colonial binaries. This means that, ironically, while working to dismantle toxic masculinity, they also keep reifying it by framing their work as being with “men” or “boys.” I can understand how the latter is more marketable than the “smash the colonial patriarchy” approach I am proposing in this book but I truly believe that if we don’t start questioning the rigidity of the gender binary altogether, for everyone, we will keep running around in circles to find ourselves in the same places, or maybe just a few inches over to the left.”]

alex iantaffi, from gender trauma: healing cultural, social, and historical gendered trauma, 2020

#alex iantaffi #trans literature #history stuff #currently reading #gender stuff

[camillemontespan]

the best mistake he never had [drake x Camille AU] [part four]

Lily burst into the house, trying her best not to cry. It was rare that Camille shouted at her and it had been a shock to the system for the five year old.

Camille preferred disciplining by talking. No corporal punishment, no shouting. She wanted to take the time to understand her daughter and explain why certain behaviour wasn't acceptable.

But seeing Lily with Drake had filled her with so much anxiety that she couldn't help it. She had shouted at Lily.

Lily went upstairs to find her grandma. She wanted comfort.

‘Grandma?’ she called.

‘I’m in bed, sweetheart!’ Gisele replied. ‘Come through.’

Lily entered the room. As soon as her grandma set eyes on her, her face fell. ‘Ohhh mon petit Fleur..’ she whispered. She reached out for her granddaughter. ‘Come here.’

Lily sniffled and climbed onto the bed, careful not to disturb her grandma too much as she looked so delicate. She gently laid her head on her chest and inhaled Gisele's scent of jasmine perfume and instantly felt her mind quieten.

‘What’s happened?’ Gisele asked quietly.

Lily sniffed. ‘Mommy shouted at me because I was brushing Lone Star and talking to Drake.’

She felt Gisele stiffen but she didn't question it.

‘And she said I shouldn't speak to strangers,’ Lily continued. ‘Because strangers are bad but Drake was nice.’

Gisele cleared her throat and cuddled Lily deeper. ‘It’s just you and your mommy,’ she said softly. ‘She wants you to be safe and since you don't know Drake, he is a stranger to you. Yes, he can be a nice man but that doesn't mean you should speak to him unless your mommy or I are there.’

Lily bit her lip. ‘That’s unfair on him and Lone Star.’

Gisele chuckled despite herself. ‘Lily, are you just mad because you want the horse?’

Lily turned and pouted. ‘No!’ she protested.

Gisele smiled and pressed a kiss on Lily's head. ‘You don't speak to someone you don't know unless you have your mommy or me there, okay? That's not just a rule for you, that's a rule for all children.’

Lily sighed. She knew she couldn't protest against that if the rule applied to all children.

She was a child who obeyed rules and liked everything to be just right. She rarely strayed from the safe path.

Lily also felt things deeply and that often meant she didn't want to upset anyone. She especially didn't want to upset Camille because Camille was her entire world.

She didn't want to upset her mommy, ever.

If that meant no more Lone Star or talking to Drake, then she wouldn't go near them again.

*******************

That evening, Drake was back in his local bar, where he tended to spend most evenings.

Yes, he had work at the ranch in the early mornings but Drake had since admitted to himself that he was basically a high functioning alcoholic and he could deal with a sore head and dry mouth if it meant he could drink whisky and forget about all this shit for a while.

This shit being meeting his daughter for the first time today and Camille's anger about it.

Fuck.

Drake downed his whisky and gestured to Leo, the bartender and friend, for another.

‘You alright man?’ Leo asked, frowning as he began to pour Drake another. ‘You’re quieter than usual.’

Drake smirked. ‘I’m fine, Leo.’

Leo raised his eyebrows and passed Drake the glass. He studied him for a moment, his green eyes roaming Drake's face.

‘So I heard Camille is back,’ he said bluntly. ‘And a mini Camille too.’

Drake gripped the glass. ‘Leo. Shut up.’

Leo proceeded to dry the wet glasses, not once taking his eyes off Drake. He didn't understand him. Sure, Leo was not a family man, he was allergic to commitment. If a woman he slept with had gotten pregnant with his baby, he would have run a mile.

But Drake wasn't like Leo. Drake, although a bit of a loner and hardly a womaniser, was the kind of guy who looked like he would want a relationship and a kid. The women he had dated in the past had always been long term.

Plus she was Camille Montespan. She was in Leo’s spank bank.

He loved her name. Fucking sexy and French.

Anyway, who in their right mind would reject Camille Montespan? She was the town sweetheart. Always friendly, always up for a laugh, drop dead gorgeous.

Pretty much every guy in Applewood had had a crush on her at some point, Leo included.

You sleep with girls. You marry women like Camille Montespan.

If Camille had slept with him and had his baby, Leo would gone against all of his instincts and settled down with her. Because you don't give up the chance to be with a woman like her. Even Leo knew that.

So why the fuck did Drake fuck it up?

He didn't know what had happened five years ago with Drake and Camille. Drake never spoke about it. Had it been a drunken fling? A secret romance?

All Leo knew was that Camille and his daughter were Drake's sore spots. You could insult him about anything and he would shrug it off, acting like he didn't care. But if you mentioned Camille and his daughter, Drake would turn defensive.

Before Leo could respond to Drake, the door opened and in walked Maxwell Beaumont.

‘Hey Leo!’ he greeted him as if Leo was the best thing in the world at that moment.

Leo smiled. ‘Hey Max. What can I get you?’

‘Ooohh.. a pina colada please.’

‘Coming right up, good sir!’ Leo said. Maxwell always ordered a fancy cocktail and it was always interesting to see what he would order his time.

Drake sipped his whisky and cast a glance over at Maxwell who was studiously scrolling through his phone and making a point not to speak to Drake.

‘How are ya doing, Max?’ Drake finally said, breaking the horrible silence.

‘Fine,’ Maxwell replied, his voice montone.

Leo eyed the two of them as he shook the cocktail shaker, wishing Drake would just stop trying.

Ever since Camille left town, Maxwell swore never to talk to Drake again. He was Camille’s best friend and incredibly loyal to her. If you hurt Camille, you hurt Maxwell.

He was like sunshine personified with everyone except Drake. Even though Drake understood, it didn't mean that he liked it.

‘So I saw Camille and Lily today -’

‘Don’t even say their names,’ Maxwell interrupted, his voice like ice. ‘Don’t you dare.’

Drake's jaw set. He picked up his glass of whisky and downed it before gesturing to Leo for another.

However, Leo was staring at Maxwell with his mouth open, cocktail shaker gripped tightly in his hands. He knew Maxwell hated Drake but Jesus Christ, he was quick to the punch.

‘Sorry..’ Drake muttered, taking a sip of his drink.

‘No, you don't say sorry to me,’ Maxwell said, his voice starting to rise, ‘you say sorry to Camille. But you won't because you really don't give a shit about her.’

Drake exhaled. ‘Leo, can I have another drink?’

Leo coughed and picked up the whisky bottle, pouring him another. He then served Maxwell his Pina colada, hoping the two of them wouldn't fight right here at his bar.

Drake downed the whisky.

‘Yup, get drunk like you always do…’ Maxwell muttered, his lips brushing the straw in his glass. ‘Classic Walker.’

Drake was up on his feet in an instant. ‘Right man, you got something to say? Fucking say it.’

‘Woah, calm down!’ Leo panicked. ‘You’re going to upset my other patrons…’

‘Who, Bill at the back? Drake hissed. ‘He doesn't give a shit.’

Maxwell sipped his Pina colada, cool as a cucumber. He looked away from Drake , not bothering to give him any eye contact. Drake stared at the side of his face.

‘You know it's none of your business what happened between me and Camille right?’ he asked, keeping his voice neutral. Unfortunately , his voice was slurring now thanks to the whisky he had downed.

‘I know you're her fucking guard dog who needs any excuse to jump but you don't know the ins and outs of this. You weren't there.’

Maxwell turned to look at Drake. His eyes were narrowed. ‘Excuse me?’ he whispered.

‘So guys, you watch the Texans game on Sunday?’ Leo asked, his voice high. ‘Great game -’

‘I get she's your friend and you are sticking by her but you don't know the full story so you can't exactly make your mind up about me,’ Drake continued. ‘You’re judging me without actually talking to me about it.’

Drake had a secret. Despite acting like he didn't give a shit about anything, he hated it when people judged him. All he wanted was to be accepted but people rarely did.

Maxwell rose so he stood over Drake, which wasn't hard as Drake was sitting on the bar stool. The tables would turn if Drake stood up because he had a clear five inches over Maxwell.

So he stood up.

Maxwell stared up at him, his eyes flashing. ‘I was there to pick up the pieces after you took her heart and ripped it into two,’ he said quietly, his tone dangerous. ‘I was there to listen to her as she told me how cruel you were, how you said it had been a drunken mistake, that it should never have happened. She was broken up, Drake. She felt like shit, like nothing-’

‘I didn't mean to make her feel like that!’ Drake burst out. ‘I didn't word it correctly-’

‘She told you that she was pregnant with your baby and you told her you didn't want anything to do with her!’

‘It wasn't meant to come out like that!’

‘Guys, please, can we stop?’ Leo interrupted, desperate for peace.

‘She always stuck up for you!’ Maxwell shouted, pushing Drake in the chest. Drake stumbled back, catching himself on the bar. ‘When everyone in school took the piss out of you, called you names, ignored you, she was there to defend you! She thought you were a good guy!’

‘I am a good guy!’ Drake shouted back. ‘I made a crappy decision but I am a good-’

‘No, you're a selfish asshole,’ Maxwell cut in. ‘You could have stood by her. You didn't have to say you'd step up and be a dad but for fucks sake, you could have at least paid her child support!’

There was a horrible, thick silence.

Leo looked between the two of them and exhaled. ‘Guys. Get out of my bar.’

Drake swallowed. ‘I.. I offered to pay her child support and she said she didn't want anything from me.’

Maxwell stared at him. ‘You should have ignored her and done it anyway. But instead you wiped your hands clean of them. Happy to stay in Texas working on that ranch and drinking yourself stupid at night. That's what you chose, Drake.’

Drake shook his head and raised his hands. ‘I can't take this anymore -’

‘Good,’ Leo interrupted, his voice sharp. ‘Both of you are done. Get out. I won't ask again.’

Drake grabbed his denim jacket and pushed some dollars at Leo. ‘Sorry Leo.’

Leo nodded mutely and took the cash. ‘Sober up, Drake. And you, Maxwell,’ he eyed Maxwell who was downing the last of his pina colada. ‘Don’t talk shit about something you don't know about.’

‘But I do!’ Maxwell protested.

Leo pointed at Drake who was now leaving the bar with his shoulders heavy and head low.

‘You clearly don't.’

#drake walker #trr fanfic #the royal romance #drake walker x mc #drake x camille #choices the stories you play

[favouritefi]

I love your Terror catboy AU, it’s a funky combination of adorable drawings and Victorianesque pseudoscientific hierarchies. However, it made me wonder about catgirls/doggirls; if you’re happy to answer, how do you see the intersection of gender and hybridity playing out in this universe?

I LOVE THIS QUESTION THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION i have a lot of thots on this bc the whole "angel in the house" image of the ideal (middle class) victorian woman is such a fun concept to play with more under cut

ok so what im about to say rn really only applies to middle class and upper class women in this au as those are the main characters in the terror if we get into the lower classes its a more complicated and nuanced story.

anyway in victorian times women were expected to be chaperoned everywhere by an older woman such as a female relative or female servant lest she be corrupted by the ills of the world and by men etc. this is where cat/doggirls come in. its expected that if you have a daughter then you goooootta adopt a companion or two for her both to show off your status and to ensure that your daughter has a friend / chaperone / mentor / moral compass for life. so in cat/dogpeople households the cat/dogboys usually go off to whatever institution their bloodline is associated with and cat/doggirls usually become companions for the wives and daughters of the men employed by those institutions. its very different from human family structures because the expectation here is that your child will not stay with your household, youre making children knowing that they will likely not belong to you regardless of whether they are male or female and that you might never see them again once theyre adopted and they need to be adopted or else its a failure on you and your bloodline. (grim i know) this system is also why each generation of cat/dogpeople tends to be fairly large, little and hodgson and irving all have an overabundance of siblings and cousins many of whom theyve never met in their life.

interestingly, cat/doggirls are actually more valued amongst these families than cat/dogboys because cat/dogboys can only be sent off to the institution the bloodline is associated with whereas cat/doggirls can be sent off to any upper/middle class household regardless of association and it would still be considered respectable AND it creates new relationships between human families that the human owners might find beneficial (kind of like how marriage was historically the exchange of women to strengthen political ties between families). this means that excess cat/dogboy sons are often disappointing to the parents - edward little is one of these. all 3 of his elder brothers had already left for the navy so he grew up playing w his sisters and getting dolled up in their dresses and being told that oh he'd make such a pretty girl and pretty bride oh if only he'd been born a girl etc. totally doesnt fuck him up.

speaking of fucked up theres hickey and his whole situation w sophia. having a catboy as a companion for an upper class girl is a big no-no and only happened because [insert hickey backstory here that is too long and really should have its own post]. no body approves of this but sophia loves him so very much and they were inseparable up until they were separated when sophia went to tasmania with the franklins and hickey was abandoned to the streets against both his and sophias will. sophia refused to adopt a new more appropriate companion in tasmania and after the franklins returned to england she tried to find him but couldnt and assumed he died. then when it seems like the ships are lost and jane starts campaigning for a rescue mission suddenly hickey shows up and for a few blissful years they are together again. he is older and quieter and has scars he wont explain, but hes still hickey and sophia still loves him. and then sir john comes back and fucks all of that up again.

sorry this was meant to be about gender dynamics in my deranged catboy au but i got distracted by hickey (as per usual)

#hope this answers some things #it might also raise more questions #which i probably have answers to #bc i think way too much about this au #Purror and Erebark

[ressioo]

Can you tell me more about your solar flare AU? I just found out about it and I want to know so much more!

Hm. There's not too much i can reveal at the current moment, as i plan to steadily reveal more with drawings. I'll tell you what i can though!

The present events of SF happen sometime around Spearmaster - Survivor.

Neither the bug maze/CC pearls or the events leading up to them happen. Because of this Moon is very much still standing.

The iterators are off the string! I wont go into detail on how exactly since that'd be quite a bit of text, but they essentially refined the overseer/structure connection and applied it to puppets.

Due to the way their cooling system works, they exhale steam when experiencing strong emotions or doing things that require a lot of energy! They have several vents along their body for this purpose. At regular temperatures, they simply exhale warm air.

Nsh's puppet is quite inefficient and as such is much easier to overheat and takes longer to cool down. He's made no attempts at fixing this issue.

The iterator halos appear behind the puppets even when not actively in their chambers! Suns modified theirs so that it appears over their head instead of behind them. It's not exactly stable however and oftentimes looks like its dripping. It also tends to appear behind their back like its supposed to.

Pebbles capitalises Suns' pronouns when speaking about them in text.

Moon's rage in Lyss' comic is very much justified. However she should not be taken as a reliable narrator here, as she has possibly the least information out of the main cast about the sunstone situation.

All art i have done of this au so far has taken place before that comic :]

Moonie has retractable claws!

Suns has quite the violent tendencies. They do not show themselves often, but they're certainly there.

The UI Incident of cycle 1756.166. It exists.

Oleander flowers, huh.

#thats all i can give for now #Hopefully this is satisfactory despite not actually giving away much of anything storywise lmao #we'll get to that eventually #solar flare au