#...now that I'm thinking about it work stuff bleeds into my fics a lot probably from my clever habit of writing when I should be working

[soleilnomoon]

Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

#it is done!!!! finally!!! i survived sora #fic request #bleach angst #bleach smut #bleach x reader #bleach x y/n #abarai renji x reader #abarai renji x y/n #abarai renji angst #abarai renji smut #renji x reader #renji x y/n #renji smut #renji angst #‘i can change him’ 🥴 #pls no i can't be SERIOUS #y/n continues to be braver than any u.s. marine #y/n sippin that clown girl juice over this man and ykw? me too. #my man my man my man ✧ 𓂃𓄹՞ഒ #anyway ily sora i had fun writing this i hope u have fun aka suffer reading

[bettsfic]

hey i don't know if you've ever answered a question like this before, and i don't want to offend you, but how do you handle writing smut that is maybe more abnormal than say vanilla smut scenes?

i wrote and posted something like this for the first time, and i feel like i've drank twenty shots of espresso i'm so shaky. i know reading and writing this stuff doesn't make me a bad person, but i'm terrified of anyone in my personal life reading what i've wrote.

i don't know if you can relate to this but some advice would be appreciated. love your work.

no offense taken!

i remember the first time i wrote something out of my smut comfort zone, which for me was veering into poorly or non-negotiated S&M. specifically it felt very spicy for me to write a sadistic narrator, and the only way i could even get the words down was by promising i'd post it to a sock account. but by the time i'd finished the fic, i was really proud of it, because it went beyond my initial aims and helped me break through a writing ceiling. i ended up posting it on main, and i probably lost like a dozen subscribers (i always lose a ton of subscribers when i post) but that fic opened a lot of doors for me aesthetically, and i've been following that road ever since.

that kept happening. i would write things that went to darker, more fucked up places, thinking i would either sock it or not post it at all, just so i would have the courage to write it in the first place, and by the time i finished, i'd always be really happy with it and post it to main. i saw merit in my work and i didn't want to shy away from that. and eventually, that initial anxiety i felt started to bleed away. and it sounds super bizarre, but now when i have an idea that feels too fucky to post on main, i turn it into original fiction and try to publish it in lit mags. under my real name. where anyone can find it.

part of my comfort with doing that is that i acknowledge the lineage of my work. in fanfiction, my work is speaking to other works in a given tag, not to mention the greater history of a genre i have a lot of respect and admiration for. in original fiction, my work is speaking to a long line of literary sex writers. you know, the decameron, arguably the first novel ever written, is full of weird sex stuff. sexuality is part of everyone's identity, even if that identity is "i'm not interested in sex." personally i don't see any shame in acknowledging that it's part of my identity too, and it frames a lot of the subject matter i choose to write about. even if i didn't understand that lineage, "i thought it was hot and i wanted to write it" is valid artistic justification. anything you are compelled to render on the page, however you're compelled to render it, is valid. you don't have to defend that.

there are two sentences i like to repeat in my head whenever i get worried or scared about what other people think of my weird sex writing: "let's talk about that" and "your reaction to what you read is your responsibility."

"let's talk about that" is just a good thing to have in your arsenal for most situations. i think it's something i picked up in group therapy. in all the groups i've been in, i'm so fascinated by the fact that nobody attempts to diffuse tense situations. as long as they don't get violent, you have to let them play out. should someone i know personally get upset or offended by something i've written, i know i can say, "let's talk about that." and in that conversation i'll have the opportunity to listen to their thoughts and respond to them. i can let their reaction play out. i know i never have to justify the existence of my work, but i can. i can say, here's what i was attempting to do, here's the experience i was interested in rendering and why i was interested in it. you can choose to understand that or not. you can choose to hate it, and me, and that is your right. which brings me to...

"your reaction to what you read is your responsibility" is more or less what i tell my family, who all seem somewhat uncomfortable about sex. the second story i published involved explicit S&M, and i remember telling my family that they were welcome to read it, but they'd learn things about me that might change their perception of me, and they would have to take accountability for that. as far as i know, my family, while interested in and supportive of my writing, has not read anything i've written.

as a writer, i am allowed to explore whatever i want however i want to explore it. if i choose to share that work, readers are allowed to react however they want to it and form opinions about it and me. these reactions may be colored by personal experience and knowledge (or lack thereof), and they may be negative. what other people think of me and my work is not really about me, and it's not my business. my only job is to continue exploring my aesthetic interests and write the work that has meaning to me, and encourage that in others.

this is a difficult mentality to cultivate, especially if there are people in your life who have power over you, whose opinions of you are definitely your business because they're holding your paycheck or the roof over your head. or maybe you just love them enough that you're terrified to lose them. hopefully these people in your life are reasonable enough to respond well to "let's talk about that." but i understand the fear of those who aren't. all i can say is that the weirder you write, the harder you have to work to find freedom, the more difficult and uncomfortable conversations become about your work, because good art always upsets people. i know there are many writers of fandom and pen writers who have to separate their real life identity from their work because of its explicitness. i imagine that's a careful balance and in some ways difficult to maintain, but even when i tried to do that, i was never very good at it. there are still brief moments of shock i get when i try to see my work from the perspective of readers who may not be primed to understand where i'm coming from, or who may be hurt or upset by it. the wider my audience becomes, the more terrifying it is to be known, but that's the path i'm on right now, cultivating a sense of self strong enough to endure ridicule, dismissal, misperception, and maybe even hate. it seems like a very long road, and i wonder if it's possible for someone like me to reach the end of it.

i hope you found some of this helpful, and continue writing the things you're interested in writing.

#writing advice

[darkacey]

I'm curious about a bunch of these so I'll just ask the bunch together:

Whose ur favorite bachelorette(s), non romanceable chara, monster, non-mc otp and a headcanon you have?

Oh boy this is gonna be a doozy of an answer lol

Fav bachelorette — I’m super gay for (most of) the guys, so honestly none of the bachelorettes appealed to me as marriage candidates. That said, I really identify with Lucy’s whole arc and feeling disproportionately responsible for my loved ones. I especially like when these characters actually get a chance to take care of themselves. Sure, I don’t exactly like the way RF5 goes about it (the forced truth mirror was kind of heavy handed and took away her agency…), but everything else was nice. My runner ups are Beatrice and Scarlett. Bea is just a sweetheart, I have nothing bad to say about her. As for Scarlett, well, I got attached to her because she became such an important supporting character in my fic. I didn’t intend for her to be the closest thing Ari has to a best friend, but she surprised me.

Fav non-romanceable character — Heinz, hands down. That goofball has a terrible first impression in-game and he’s really done dirty by only being characterized by his ineptitude and lazy attitude, but man, I’ve gotten so attached to him because of his role in my fic. I was really able to develop his backstory and personality into exactly what I wanted since there was so much room for reinterpretation. Before I started this fic, though, I probably would have said Terry or Misasagi. Both of them have good heads on their shoulders, and I like the mysteries they represent.

Fav monster — Chipsqueek! Those little red squirrels are the cutest dang thing on the planet. They’re kind of useless as a battle companion, but I like bringing them around with me just because anyway. Also, in every RF game I’ve played (Frontier, rf5, and currently rf3 special), I’ve named the first one I’ve caught Poppy.

Non-MC otp — I’m a multishipper, so I won’t say there’s only one way I like characters to be shipped. That said, I’m particularly fond of Cecil/Fuuka (thank you Aashi for selling me on them!) and Martin/Ryker. For other pairings, I think Lucy/Priscilla is cute, but I’d be really interested to see Priscilla/Reinhard (Priscilla gets to live out her princess dreams) and Lucy/Murakumo (competitive bleeding heart plus the expert judge of games). Outside my fic, I also love Lucas/Terry (courtesy of @kardia-library-official for introducing me to the idea).

A headcanon — oof I have so many at this point, it’s hard for me to remember what’s actually canon and what’s stuff I’ve dumped into all of its plot holes. I think a big one for worldbuilding is that I named the town that’s near Rigbarth (the one that Ryker goes to when he steals that crown). It’s called Fenarva, which is sort of a portmanteau based on the names of all of the other villages/towns of Norad. I imagine Fenarva is closer in size to a city, and it has ports for regular ships and airships. They get travelers from the mainland, Isle of Elves (this also needs a name), the Eastern Continent (gods please Marvelous give us an actual name for this country when Project Dragon is released), and Fenith Island. Most of the tourists who visit Rigbarth come from Fenarva, too, since it’s only about half a day’s trip to get from one town to the other (well, travel takes longer now because of the recent increase in monster attacks…). Rigbarth’s economy really relies on these folks and the people from the other side of the Gadeus Grasslands too (still need to put another town over there too). Also, for everybody else writing fics based on RF5, y’all are free to use Fenarva, too.

I have other, more interesting headcanons especially about gods in general and what sort of god Lucas is, but a lot of it gets into spoiler territory. Unfortunately for all of us, however, I have yet to figure out how to work in these things into my fic. It’ll come up eventually, somehow, but probably not until late Act II or somewhere in Act III. I hope y’all can bear with me until then.

#rune factory 5 #rf5 #darkacey answers #darkacey writes

[forest-hashira]

i need to be honest with you guys

i really don't want to be Like That and say that i've succumbed to the whole "my writing is worthless if it isn't popular etc. etc." mindset but like. i think i kind of have. i know that my writing has worth even if nobody reads it, and for a long time i was fine with not getting much attention on my works. i was happy with what i was writing, i didn't really care if anyone else read it, because i liked it, and that's what mattered.

and then i started writing Noble Blood, not just a bunch of mini fics that had no worldbuilding and very little plot.

Noble Blood is very precious to me. i've never put as much time and effort into a project that has actually turned into anything beyond some very vivid mental images and a handful of bullet points in a google doc. Noble Blood means so fucking much to me. and as much i desperately wish it didn't, the fact that it has not done well over the last three months has really, really hurt me. i know that engagement isn't everything, and i know it doesn't signify how good or valuable my writing is, but it's also not wrong for me to wish that people would interact with it in some way, because without those interactions there's no way for me to know if anybody's even reading it at all, much less if they're enjoying it.

and beyond that, i feel like whatever little niche i may have had before is gone, or at least expanded to the point that i feel like i've been pushed out. i don't want to make anyone feel bad, so i'm definitely not going to name any names, and again i really don't want to make anyone feel bad or like i'm attacking them. that is not my intention. i am just trying to be honest about what's been going on in my head lately. but i have writer friends who used to mostly/only write smut with little to no plot and are now branching into fics with lots of worldbuilding and plot and little to no smut, and i'm happy for them! i'm glad people are comfortable and confident enough to do that, and i am more than excited to read those things as they're published, genuinely i am. but i feel like that was what i had going for me, what made what i was writing stand out from everything else. and now i feel like i don't have that anymore.

i'm not entirely certain i know where i'm going with this, or what i'm trying to say. but this has been weighing heavy on me for a while. i don't want this to come across as me whining because my stuff hasn't gone viral, or begging/guilting people into reading my works, or anything like that, and i don't want anyone else to feel like i'm upset with them or think that i feel like they don't deserve the attention their works get, or anything like that, because i don't think or feel that way; i'm genuinely so happy that people are exploring things that interest them and are enjoying writing those ideas. i just wish it was working out for me like it's working out for them.

this isn't a post to say i'm quitting writing forever (i don't think i could even if i tried to), and it's not me saying i'm going to delete everything i've posted and disappear, because i'm not going to do either of those things (though i can't say the thought never crosses my mind). I am just struggling to find a reason to keep doing what i'm doing, because my disappointment and frustration with how poorly everything i post here does has now been bleeding into the enjoyment i usually get from writing, and it's making writing feel Very Unpleasant. i don't want to quit but i don't know what to do anymore.

to anyone who does read & interact with my fics, mutuals especially, i will never be able to thank you enough for your support. it seriously means the world to me, and i owe you an eternal debt of gratitude. i love all of you from the bottom of my heart.

if you read this far, thank you for listening to my (probably pointless) rambling, and i'm sorry for taking up so much of your time. i hope life is treating all of you well, and that you're taking care of yourselves as best you can. i love you guys 💜

#fallon rambles #anyways... yeah. sorry. i don't know what i thought this would accomplish #i just felt like i was gonna be sick if i kept this to myself any longer #i really really really don't want anyone to feel like i am attacking them or i'm mad at them or anything like that at all. #i truly am not upset with any of my fellow writers. if i'm upset with anyone i'm upset with audiences #fandom etiquette has just like. died. and it fucking sucks. #to all my moots (writers & not) and loyal readers: i love you all forever and ever and ever. kissing u all on the forehead.

[imminentinertia]

How to get me to nope the fuck out of a fic part 172: Doing Profanity Wrong

Please don't. I'm begging here. I'll do it Ray style if it helps.

First, let's talk a bit about types of profanity. Just so you know, there will be a bit of vulgar language here (in case that first "fuck" in the title of the post didn't turn you off already).

I'm not going into the functions of profanity, the why we use it and how we use it to achieve our goals for using it, Steven Pinker's The Stuff of Thought is a good starting point for functions if you're interested. What I'm most interested in right now is the what.

The what is often a taboo of some sort, like mocking something sacred, referring to body parts that are considered filthy, fears of invoking dangerous situations like illness or natural disasters. The words used can be grouped into these categories*:

Sex

Religion

Bodily functions

Disease

(Derogatory terms may be considered a function, the why is to cause harm, but it tends to contain terms that don't always belong in the four other categories, and those four tend to bleed into this. I consider it a fifth category of types of words)

Languages and cultures don't use these categories in the same ways. For instance, there's very little left of disease swearing in English ("a pox on you" sounds just a tiny bit outdated, wouldn't you say) but it's alive and kicking in Danish (all word constructions with the word "kraft" refers to cancer, and there are a lot of those constructions). The British Isles and Denmark are pretty close geographically and not enormously different culturally, but the swearing takes different routes.

English uses a hell of a lot of religious profanity. East and South East Asian languages, not so much. There are examples, like mara (まら), a quite rude Japanese word for dick that has its root in the demon Mara (I don't know the precise etymology, but it's possible it has to do with temptation), but it's not anywhere near as prevalent as in Christianity-heavy cultures.

Which means that "for Buddha's sake" does not, I repeat NOT, work as local colour swearing. At. All.

It really is not a problem if you write an English profanity in an English sentence, in your English fic set in a culture that isn't in the Anglosphere. Don't worry about it - the point is that the story needs to flow well, and trying to fit in unfamiliar swearing is likely to end up stiff and awkward.

What you might want to think about is the categories. It's not that E/SE Asians never say "oh my God" or "fuck" in English, we who have other mother tongues often like a bit of English profanity mixed in with our native language, but the patterns for when to swear in English may be different.

So if you pay a bit of attention to how the shows are translated and what swearing choices are made (disregard the bowdlerised translations on fudging IQIYI entirely) and what category the characters seem to use the most, it becomes easier to make the story flow well without anglofying it too much (brimming with "oh my God") or stumbling in asiafying your own language ("oh my Buddha").

Sex and bodily functions tend to be safe bets because there are a number of taboos regarding both in so many cultures they're probably near-universal and only differs in exactly how they're used, but trying to make that super authentic for the source language and culture doesn't necessarily fit well into the language you're writing.

In other words, "shit" and "fuck" and such are likely to work fine for anything.

Also, there are a number of ways to be rude as fuck without uttering a single vulgar word. You can be rude while speaking and acting very politely, even. That's not something that's easy to show in a fic, it's easier to tell it ("he's speaking very politely yet it's the rudest thing she's ever heard"). Not to mention that it's easy to get it wrong when it's a culture you don't know extremely well, so a little vague telling is likely to make your story smoother than a detailed description of a rudeness situation.

The point is that one of the characters is rude to another, and that can be communicated well to the readers in several ways.

*Sources what sources. Actually there are lots of sources, but they tend to leave out disease. This is how I categorise and I'm sure there are researchers who agree with me, somewhere.

#swearing in writing #fic writing #this post was brought to you by a use of buddha it will take some time to forget

[dreamedge]

AO3 tag game :3

shout-out to @ragecndybars for the tag! <3 I got to think a lot about some older fics and also the deep, eternal impact CC has has on my soul, so I'm emotional rn lol.

How many works do you have on AO3?

21! Which is, a lot more than I thought tbh. I've been writing these long, long fics for so many years now that I've sort of forgotten about all the little ones I've managed in between. And even the long ones add up after a while. Though, I did only import a small selection of my fics from ff.net, so the back catalogue of stuff I've actually written is way longer. ... That's fine, some of that stuff can stay buried lol.

Even at 21 though... *Looks at my shoebox of story ideas and outlines* Its... its still not enough. Its, its just no where close to even making a dent in everything I want to write eventually.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

650,444. I'm pretty sure at least half of that is entirely in CC, and another quarter is in can i bleed. Which, tbh I'm not sure how I feel about that lol. Deeply introspective fics, my passion, my talent, my beloathed. Some part of me does miss simply writting 5k chapters and calling it done for a week. Not all of me though.

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Only 10! That number probably isn't going to grow much either. I tend to gravitate towards bigger projects these days rather than simple oneshots or even like, 5 chapter long stuff, so I tend to go all in on a small number of fandoms instead of spreading my attention around, even though I want to.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Digimon

Dragon Age Inquisition

Percy Jackson

Persona 3

Power Rangers RPM

RWBY

Teen Wolf

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

BNHA

Top five fics by kudos:

A Most Precious Thing (Tsubasa): tbh this being number one is an absolute surprise, though I'm very happy about it. According to AO3, this was published almost 10 years ago, will be 10 years exactly in just a few weeks, but people still regularly give it kudos and comments. It was a complete experiment, style wise; I'd never written anything like it before, I've written one thing like it since, and I'm just so thankful that people loved it so much despite the inexperience behind it.

Of the Woods (Teen Wolf/CCS): This being so high up is not a surprise, and I'm annoyed about it. Mostly bc I know its only so high up bc its for such a big fandom, written during said fandom's height. I think its probably one of the fic I've soured the most on since I wrote it; its just not that great.

Crests Corrupted (Digimon) : Oh, here it is. My masterpiece. Maybe its weird to say that of the fic that's only 3rd, but it truly is, and to see a fic I have put so much of myself into being even this high and this appreciated means so much to me.

can i bleed within your love (Persona 3) : Hi! I don't have much to say about this one, only that I'm so happy with the sheer outpouring of love this has gotten, and I can't wait to finish it.

True Feelings Chocolate (Digimon) : Oh, um, I sort of forgot about you. What are you doing here? ...This is awkward, I really didn't expect this to do so well. Its just a silly little fic I wrote for valentine's one year. I'm glad it did well?

Do you respond to comments?

I try! I don't succeed a lot of the time; generally I'm very tired after posting a chapter and then its been like two weeks and responding feels awkward. Also I tend to ramble, if you haven't noticed yet, some sometimes I'll just close out of responding to avoid any chance of me accidentally spoiling or saying something I shouldn't. I'm... working on it.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

Oh that's easy. Its the RWBY one, Your Love on Your Sleeve and Your Pain Buried Deep. I don't tend to write angsty fics, I like happy endings, I think this is the only one I've ever written and I'm glad to keep it that way.

Do you write crossovers?

I've written one before, the TW one that's up there. I generally tend to prefer fusions over straight up crossovers; I've gotten several P3 fusions planned, a PJ fusion, the bnha fic I wrote is a fusion. I just, I love fusions. I greatly prefer writing them over cross-overs generally.

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Once or twice, but that was ages ago and I've mostly blocked it from my memory. The fandoms I'm in now have been full of such lovely people, I've been really lucky.

Do you write smut?

Smut, as in the fic happens to have a sex scene? Not typically, but I'm not against doing so when the need calls. Smut, as in the entire point of the fic in the sex scene? No. I'm actually very bad at it. I'll do it if I must but I find even writing kiss scenes awkward, let alone everything else. I will gladly leave it to people much better at their craft them I am.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To the best of my knowledge? No I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people offer? I don't know if they ever did or even if, in my general ineptitude when it comes to responding to people, I actually agreed they could.

Hey, if anyone wants to translate my works, feel free!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

... Hey, thats not fair.

Hmmm, well, after much thinking I'm gonna go with Kurogane/Fai from TRC. Other ships may currently have their hooks in my brain, but kurofai is a big comfort to me still, I really love them. And lets be honest. Ain't no one doing it like those two.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

I have, its not posted anywhere, and technically I've barely started writing it, its almost entirely outline rn, but I do have a p3 fantasy au thats just... fucking massive. Its a huge project just from the outline i have, long even in comparison to CC, so long that I doubt I'd ever finish it to the point where I've barely started it.

What are your writing strengths?

Combat. I write a damn good fight scene and I know it. I take a lot of pride in that. I also tend to have a pretty solid grasp of pacing on an overall level for longer fics. Per chapter pacing gets a bit more eh, but the overall pacing of arcs and stuff for my longer fics, I generally know what I'm doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never know when to shut the fuck up! This is a problem I've known I've had for years. I just let characters go on these long, internal monologues, which is only acceptable because I also write deeply introspective fics. However, it tends to slow chapters down a lot and after a bit, characters repeat themselves and its a problem.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'm incapable bc I'm monolingual but I've always loved fics that use other languages! Maybe I can do that some day lol.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Yknow, if I dug far far far back in my ff.net account it would probably be Naruto? I think. My memory is fuzzy and I'm not actually going to go look. However, thats the first one I posted.

The *very* first fic i ever wrote, I have a very clear memory of for some reason. It was a FFX2/Series of Unfortunate Events crossover, I was in the fourth grade, I thought it was the coolest thing. Hm, memories.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

I actually have two answers for this, which, I know is against the spirit and rule of the question BUT. Too bad.

One is A Most Precious Thing, bc it was such an experience to write. Despite being 10 years old I still love it. It was, as I said above, an utter experiment. It is written entirely in 2nd person, which is not actually a choice? I made? Um, I tried, very hard in the beginning, to write in in my standard 3rd, and it didn't work. The story actively refused to be written as such and I kept ending up back in 2nd. And at some point I just gave up and wrote the rest of it as such. And it taught me, so much, about point of view and how that relates to emotional distance, and really, but trusting myself with my writing, that even if I can't say why this is happening, somewhere deep down there is a reason to it and I should trust that. As a writer who takes my craft very seriously, this one has a soft spot in my heart bc of all of that.

However, Crests Corrupted owns a piece of my soul that I will never get back. It is my thesis, my masterpiece, It has defined years of my life, I have poured hundreds of thousands of words into it, I have given it so much of my heart and my pain. It has redefined how I approach writing, it has shaped, totally, the style in which I write today. Even years from now, even years after I finally finish it whenever that is, I don't think I will ever be truly free of it. It is my favorite. How can't it be?

#asks #hello i ramble too much #tag game

[thatgirlwithasquid]

I got tagged by @hg-deranged-edition (ty <3)

20 Questions for Fic Writers (& Artists)

1. How many works do you have on ao3(Tumblr)?

41 on AO3, but I think I have another 2 one-shots on Tumblr that I never got round to cross-posting

2. What's your total ao3 (Tumblr) word count?

253,123 which... wow ok neat

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A lot lmao. I organised my google drive a few months back and I have a lot of folders now hahaha. A quick count says I've started something for 24 fandoms, good lord.

The ones I've actually posted for are Stranger Things, Harry Potter, Andi Mack, Detroit: Become Human, Arcane, Encanto, The Host, and Little Nightmares

4.What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Playing Pretend : 2,204 kudos

Severus Snape and the Burden of Responsibility : 694 kudos

Thirium Pooling in His Chest (Bleeding Different, Feeling the Same) : 511 kudos

Communication and Cuddles : 440 kudos

Not Quite Less Than Romantic : 396 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to make a point to respond to every comment, but I fell out of the habit. It's something I really want to get back into doing, because I really appreciate receiving them <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either I've Been There For A While or Severus Snape and the Burden of Responsibility (I got a fair few distraught comments on the latter lol)

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Playing Pretend, probably. That one's just a lot of cutesy friends to lovers that I wrote in a state of sheer obsession when Encanto first came out. Or maybe To Cherish and be Cherished which is just 400 ish words of fluff

8. Do you get hate on any fics (Art)?

I've been lucky enough that people engaging with my writing have been overall really kind. I have had like 2 slightly rude comments, but I don't think that was intentional :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have! It was a challenge cause my ace brain doesn't like working that way, but I wrote a voyeurism/exhibitionism Jonathan x Jason fic. I actually feel quite happy with it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't posted any, but I do have an abandoned wip in my drafts, if that counts?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone wanted to translate my stuff I'd be perfectly happy with that.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I am open to the idea of that. If anyone wants to co-write a fic feel free to reach out :)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Cunningway!! At this point I think everyone knows lmao. I feel like I bring them up a lot, even though I am trying to not be obnoxious about them. I just love them a lot!

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uh, is saying 'all of them' cheating? There are so many wips in my google drive that, realistically, I'm never going to go back to. But if I had to pick one... maybe the this untitled Thomally fic I was writing?

16. What are your writing strengths?

lmao fuck if I know. Coming up with ideas, maybe? Everything else is a bit of a struggle.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sustaining my ability to focus. I also feel like I struggle with balancing speech and description.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk. I've done it before in Playing Pretend to match how the characters speak in the film, but I can only speak English so... I gave it a go? I don't mind reading dialogue in other languages in fic, if I need I just have google translate open to understand what's being said.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Depends how we're looking at it. Technically WWE when I was like 7 but idk if I'd count that. The first time I wrote fanfic and was aware that was what it was would've been Andi Mack, but the first fandom I wrote for on AO3 was Little Nightmares.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I feel like I'm most content with the writing in Thirium Pooling in His Chest (Bleeding Different, Feeling the Same) but I am probably proudest in myself for Ceramic Hearts because that fic was a real labour of love.

tagging: @half-oz-eddie @brightside-of-the-upsidedown @bigdumbbambieyes (no pressure!! hope you guys don't mind being tagged. I was really blanking on this aha)

[gilbirda]

20 questions for writers, tagged by @gremlin-bot

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

83!!! But a lot are crossposted from FFN, and not ALL of my FFN stuff is there.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

753,449

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment dpxdc, but I have projects for DP in progress. I have some really old Inuyasha stuff, and Twilight, and a Gravity Falls fic that I def will continue? but mostly dpxdc :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Clown around and find out (Kudos: 8,524)

Mondays, am I right? (Kudos: 8,080)

Employee of the month (Kudos: 7,865)

Can't have shit in Gotham (Kudos: 7,343)

How to confuse a Bat (Kudos: 6,749)

Unsurprising xd

5. Do you respond to comments? why/why not?

I usually do the week when I post a fic, but i stop after that period of time. I don't respond mostly because I dont know what to say... I love each and every comment!!! I just get nervous.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm, I'd say What could have been. It's a DP fic from Phic Phight 2022 and the prompts I used weren't necessarily angst material, but I tied them together in a story meant to leave you empty.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't do "happy" endings? I think I do "realistic" endings - main quest is conquered but we lost and gained things in the way.

I do write a lot of fluff and unapologetic one shots, so I would consider all of those "happy" endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes.

Fortunately is not a normal event in my fics, but now that I have dipped my toes in comic book fanfiction I've gotten my fair share of purists and know-it-alls that come to my comments to educate me on what it's "canon" and explain to me how my interpretation is wrong.

That aside, I'm not afraid to portray "problematic" ships and delicate situations ,mainly mental health stuff. I'm not the first or the last person that pour themselves in their writing and use fictional characters as a medium to work on some personal things. Of course that's gotten me enough comments telling me how disgusting I am and how I'm writing XYZ wrong.

9. Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes. I don't have a lot posted, but I have WIPs.

Mostly BDSM and how important it is to trust your partner.

10. Do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one?

Mostly DPxDC!

I did have an insane crossover between Twilight and a book not a lot of people know. TBH im keeping that information to myself xd.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes.

There's a russian website that reposts fics.

And also people reposting my stuff in wattpad with a "credits to the author [name]" but they never asked me for permission.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian!!!! Made me so happy ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

13. have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! I'm co-writing a fic with some close friends and my girlfriend. And another fic with just my girlfriend, but I'm so slow with it lmao

14. what's your all-time fave ship?

I'm a multishipper but usually I have 1 OTP that im Very Normal about in every fandom and then I'm just okay with everything else.

Some examples are:

KogKag, SessKag (Inuyasha)

Hardcover (JazzxJason)(DPxDC)

PrussiaxHungary (Hetalia)

Mabill (Gravity Falls)

HikaHaruKao (Ouran HSHC)

Deckerstar (Lucifer TV)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I don't want to jinx myself.

But probably the DP longfic. It's just. So long.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I've been told that my characters feel very real and that I write dynamics in a very organic way. In romance, I think I'm very good at portraying falling in love.

In general I've also been told I describe things in a way you can feel it, like you really are there.

17. writing weaknesses?

English is not my native language and I make a lot of mistakes, grammar wise. Or I let my weird miss matched speech patterns bleed into my characters and make them sound not quite right.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Again, I'm native Spanish speaker, so I do write in English regularly xd

Other languages, I'd need someone that speaks that language to help me.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha. I was about 11 years old. Those fics were written in Microsoft Word 2003, in script format (aka "theater" format), and every character had an assigned color and I would switch colors every dialogue line.

20. fave fic you've ever written?

Difficult to choose.

I love a lot of my fics, even older ones.

If I have to pick just one, I'm picking Friendly neighborhood vigilante

Tagging!

Not feeling like tagging today, and grem kinda stole the people I was thinking I could tag.

So, if anyone wants to do this, go ahead!

#tag game

[gingerbreadmonsters]

director's cut for 'motion capture' anddd 'you're the cat's meow'?????

star and zo are talking about this ask game (still open!)

damn we're going in HARD!!! thank you babes for asking about these because the world of motion capture is one of my all time favourites that i've done - elliott nation star and zo stay winning 🤩🤩🤩

the fics in question: motion capture + you're the cat's meow! spoilers for both of those under the cut 💕💕

ever since elliott and sunshine got caught and captured in canon i wanted to write something about that, but the concept for motion capture only really materialised properly in the summer when scorpius' first audio ('A Deal With a Demon') dropped - it's no secret that i LOVE me an unreliable narrator, and that dramatic irony is my favourite thing EVER, and what better way to combine those than with a brainwashed elliott??

brain stuff and the manipulation of minds and thoughts has always been a massive thing for me in my writing - i think it's incredibly versatile and adds lovely dimension, whether in terms of the way your worldview changes when you're in love with someone, or the inherent horror of not being able to trust your own mind and sensibility 😍😍 i bring it up a lot, but i think elliott and sunshine fit both of those very nicely, so it was only natural to give elliott a taste of that hehe

i don't think i made it very clear in the actual fic, but the song that elliott wakes up to is 'You Are The Sunshine Of My Life' by stevie wonder - the title is, of course, delightful for these two, and the particular bit of the song that elliott hears is MAGNIFICENTLY painful in the context of the fic 🥰🥰 i was kind of thinking about those, like, late 90s and 00s american teen movies where they always like to start with a pop song that plays over the opening montage, that melts into the protagonist waking up and hitting snooze or stopping the song bc it's their alarm - you know the kind i mean? and of course, this fic was inspired by the elliott fic of all elliott fics, rowan's bring me a dream, which incorporates music BEAUTIFULLY - it felt like the appropriate thing to do 🤩💖🫰

this fic was actually meant to unfold very differently, and you can kind of see bits of that original storyline that never got used - there's a set up with the deodorant and the left hand door of the closet that was supposed to pay off later, but never really comes to anything. elliott was supposed to be looking for something (i think it was going to be a hoodie?) and realise that it was probably behind that door, and then when he opened it he'd find all of sunshine's clothes - that was going to be what fucked up his brain, but alas i couldn't find a way to make it work 😫😫

there were also meant to be more pages in elliott's notebook!! i actually had some of them ready to go when i scrapped the idea, but it was getting too confusing - basically, before he left for closeknit, past-elliott would have written an "if you're reading this, i'm dead" letter in the back of the book, which present-elliott was going to find and absolutely lose his mind over what that implies about his life right now! it was a good idea, but the logistics behind it were too complicated - why would elliott only be finding that letter now, instead of days or weeks or months ago? what's special about today? what's different? it was all getting too much, so unfortunately that had to go 😭😭

my favourite favourite bit from the whole thing is DEFINITELY the bit where he makes tea - the line "(The mug is blue. Elliott is lactose intolerant.)" is, in my opinion, one of my all-time best lines i've ever done, and i love the way that whole bit came out 🥰🥰 the way he tries to rationalise and deny what's very clearly happened, the way the narration starts to repeat and bleed over itself.... UGH it was so much fun to write hehe 🥳🥳🥳

it took AGES to try and logic my way through exactly how elliott was able to keep himself alive in the flat, and the logic i ended up with isn't entirely watertight but i think it does the job! he needed to be getting food, water, electricity etc but no internet, and he couldn't be allowed to independently leave the house because i needed him to not accidentally run into people he knew on the street who might give the game away - but at the same time, people who know him (like family, friends, people from his job etc) needed to not raise the alarm that he hasn't been seen for some indefinite period of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

(in my mind, what happened was that closeknit was able to (by hook or by crook) get elliott assigned to one of their own people on some big 'top-secret' project that needed total secrecy and probably an extended stay abroad or in another state or something, and then to distribute that fact via elliott's phone (that they've definitely had access to, bc we know that the SIM card has been removed) to his family and friends - that way, nobody would go looking for him and radio silence wouldn't be too suspicious. obviously they wouldn't be able to keep this up forever, but i imagine that a) closeknit intends to kill elliott before long, regardless of blake's promise to sunshine, and b) this was all done in a bit of a hurry, when they captured elliott and sunshine and were then like "oh fuck what do we do now", and that panic is part of the reason why scorpius' memory modification didn't quite work correctly!)

the idea of the locket came from lyric on discord, who was kind enough to listen to me kick and scream about how i had no idea how to resolve all of this and then zapped me with the biggest brainwave imaginable - this is another shameless reference to a real locket that i own lol (the same one that gavin is wearing in get in, loser!) ✌️✌️ i loved the idea of elliott getting hit with that huge wave of dread and confusion as he looks at something that very clearly shouldn't be possible if the world is as he thinks it is - basically, he's seeing a glitch in the matrix and it's terrifying!!

i don't know if it came through very clearly in the narration, but in that last bit what happens is as follows:

elliott drops the pen, and kneels down to pick it up

he notices something shiny under the sofa, and sticks his head underneath there so that he can reach it

while he's still under there, he picks it up - it's a locket - and opens it, confused because he's already wearing an identical one

his is empty, but the one he found is not, containing a picture of him and sunshine, and the words "for my sunshine." - overwhelmed by the undeniable proof that something is very very wrong, it triggers a bout of lightheadedness

he tries to hold onto the memory, but hits his head on the underneath of the sofa, dropping the locket back where he found it and causing him to lose focus just long enough for the lightheadedness to make him forget

it's implied that this has happened before, and will continue to happen every day indefinitely

(also, "navy blue cotton" is a reference to thy fair imperfect shade, my first elliott fic - it has no bearing on the story here, it's just for fun hehe 🥳🥳)

we can definitely talk about you're the cat's meow!, although it's quite short so there might not be much to say! they both take place in the same universe, and i'd had that song in the back pocket for a few months at least - although it was meant for a fluff fic, i'm a sucker for tonal dissonance... 🤩🤩🤩

this fic is, to me, the chaser to motion capture - not so much a narrative foil, but showing that closeknit didn't keep their promises to either of them. sunshine was told that elliott's off living a normal, happy life (he's emphatically not), and elliott was under the impression that sunshine didn't even exist (they do, but not for much longer if blake keeps chipping away at them).

i do hope it's clear, but just so we're all on the same page:

closeknit did not give sunshine a radio - that's them singing the same song over and over again in an attempt to comfort themselves and block out what's really going on

the 'house in the forest' that blake keeps burning down is the one from elliott's BA that he and sunshine designed together

the 'little friend' who has a nightmare is blake's listener - his one weakness, and inadvertently the reason why blake's goal to talk to brachium has yet to succeed

the reason sunshine is still there is because they won't give in - in their mind, they've pivoted to protecting elliott the way they couldn't do physically, and so blake is now having to try and wear them down in order make them pliable enough to get access to brachium

sunshine is wearing a straitjacket - that's why the jacket is so 'cuddly and soft', and why their arms specifically are so warm

#ooh a game! #redacted asmr #redacted audio #god DAMN this was a long reply i do apologise #but i love talking motion capture!! it really is one of my favourite things i've written and i love it to bits so thank you 🥰🥰 #zo beloved <3 #star beloved <3 #ginger speaks to lovely blogs

[god-of-dust]

For the Fic Writer Ask:

3, 9, 12, 13, 15 and 20 (sorry for asking so many, but I'm really excited for your answers!)

hey friend, thank you! and don’t worry about asking too many questions, i felt talkative :D

[deep fic writer asks]

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

in all honesty, a lot of the fics that i love the most will probably stay forever unfinished in my drafts. as for the fics i actually have finished and posted, i have a soft spot for unscripted, and the reason is that writing it has been fun. readers have praised the character development in it, but it’s something that just happened while i was busy being outrageously self-indulgent with a plot that, to me, was head-empty-just-smut. it reminds me that a story doesn’t have to be that deep to be enjoyable and worth telling.

9. what's your writing process like?

an important part of my process is that appreciation and community-driven deadlines are the main motivators that drive me to actually finish works, which is why shipping weeks are very useful indeed. most of my fics (if not all) are birthed through hyperfixation, which in my case means that i have to squeeze the creative juices on the page before the enthusiasm fades.

on the plot side of things, there are vibes at the wheel rather than a well-thought plan, which is why i usually don’t go for longer stories (though i want to learn to.) i imagine a scene, a concept or a collection of them, and then i string them together until they’re coherent.

thus, when i know that i have a story i want to tell and there’s an audience that makes me excited to sit down and get my fingers on the keyboard, i found out that having a daily word count goal and a timer is the best way for my brain to stop obsessing over every single word and produce instead a repetitive, absurd, unhinged stream of consciousness that i can nonetheless edit later. i put on some background music, open focuswriter with its handy word count options to set my daily goal, start the timer and then i type away until i’m done, even if nothing that comes out makes any lick of sense. all that first draft has to do is exist.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

for the timed sessions i enjoy sitting at the desk in my room where i usually work. when inspiration strikes me elsewhere i use one of those note-taking apps in my phone and then transfer it to my computer later if i feel like it.

mostly, i want to have time and space to relax and do my thing.

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

interesting question 👀 a bit of both, i think. i do like it at times, but when i go back and read my fics i also feel like my style is kind of immature and the story could have been told better.

15. How do you think your writing as improved over time?

i learned not to judge myself too much during the writing process, so i gained more inspired turn of phrases and emotional depth that i could never have reached if i kept obsessing over good form and not sounding like the ESL speaker that i am. my mother tongue bleeds through my words in many ways and that’s okay.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

readers who care about the stories i tell and who leave comments to let me know that they appreciate what i do. it’s humbling and exciting in a way i can’t describe. in the past, it often felt shallow and shameful to think that i create not only for myself but also because i love the validation, but i realize now that it’s true: community is great. sharing my stuff with people who are excited about it is amazing. the more love my creative works receive, the more of them i want to put out in the world.

#richardcampbellganseytheiiird #ask #ask meme #writing

[centralsaints]

mcl headcanon masterpost - lysander

my candy love: return of the king

lysander is nonbinary and uses his tall stature to play with androgyny since he’s always looked kind of feminine anyway. uses he/they pronouns, rarely she, but those days do happen where it's fem to the max.

boy is there a lot going on in this brain of his. he’s just very quiet about it. he’s prone to psychosis and delusions, particularly religious ones. Castiel or his brother usually take care of him when he’s in a delusional state. most of his poetry these days is based around those experiences of losing touch with reality.

that's mostly what affect his memory; it’s actually a side effect of the derealization/dissociation from those episodes

during his worst episode, Castiel actually came to find him after three or four missed calls; Lys was sitting in a cemetery, in the snow, and told Cas about how the angels had told him their message; that he was dead and in limbo, and had to find a way to get out before it was too late for him to reach the afterlife. Cas brought him back to his and Leigh's place and stayed over just to watch over lysander’s state.

he was raised religious; i could see his parents going to church regularly when lysander and leigh were kids, and so that stuck with him years later, sometimes in good, sometimes in bad. he got his mom’s rosary when she died.

i have a couple of songs by violett pi that really makes me think how he would sound like singing; this one, this one and this one. this one too, from mozart l’opéra rock

he’s a scorpio with a virgo rising. idk about his moon ngl.

his room is full of post-it from things he thinks about and doesn’t want to forget, so he put them on the walls to have them in sight

he had his growth spurt pretty late, and in high school, he’s still getting huge with being really tall, which means he’s always hitting his head on door frames and cabinets and stuff. so much for being graceful

all the past notebooks and journals he’s filled are put in a box and dated so he can find them later

the wings were the only tattoo he got in school, after that he waited until he graduated to start getting more. he’s gotten most of them professionally done, but he’s also experimented and given himself a couple of stick n pokes and gave up very fast. they were ugly but he made them so he loves them

he owns a few pairs of Demonia platform boots, and three pairs of docs (platform oxford shoes, black jadon max and a 14 eyelet classic). he has a pair of ugly steel-toed boots he wears to work at the farm. it’s function over fashion with those

he'd probably be self-conscious about wearing big shoes because he's already so tall, but at some point he just embraced being 6'5 in platforms.

ref post for his fashion sense

he’d grow his hair out in university (i can’t believe this is canon now omg). there were periods of time he was on the farm where he really didn't take care of his appearance and his hair got tangled and mated because it’s very fine. he had to learn how to cut his hair himself, which is part of the reason he let it grow out; he only trims it from time to time now.

his hands and feet are always. freezing cold

yeah he can sing, but he can also play multiple instruments. he kind of taught himself, and is kind of a virtuoso in that sense; he can find his way pretty quickly around a new instrument

really really loves fashion actually, all styles, and he follows a few high-end designers and would put money aside to get at least one or two designer pieces. loved alexander McQueen.

with everything i've compiled right now, i'm realizing that he reads a lot has having borderline personality disorder (probably quiet bpd subtype) (i think this fic contributed a lot to my idea of him)

he has had issues with s/h (again, based on that fic i linked)

he has unusually sharp canines and has hurt himself by accidentally biting into his own tongue. like we all do. except when he does he bleeds

like most artists, he doesn’t just have one notebook. he has like four because he starts several of them and then loses it in his room so he starts a new one but then he finds the old one and-

he loves doing life drawing, especially architecture. has taken a few life model drawing classes and will sometimes draw people he sees out in town or on the bus

he loves getting tattoos but piercings? absolutely not

reaches his final form during the winter; it’s when he can get out his prettiest coats and accessories

idk he looks like he’s iron deficient. gets up too fast and immediately ends up on the floor

also constantly hits his head everywhere dude you are 6’4 get used to it

he sleeps with at least one small light on. total darkness is a recipe for nightmares

absolutely the type to write love letters and do elaborate collages with them and give them to the person he loves. also constantly writes poetry about one person when he has a crush. also constantly write about that person when he gets dumped.

because he was alone in taking care of it, i think his parents farm was a pretty small one; a couple of chickens for the eggs, littol bunnies, maybe a goat. lots of stray cats tho. a big garden with lots of squash variety, potatoes because they’re easy to grow. a few apple trees. just enough that he could sell some of his surplus at a market, and feed himself with the rest.

he had to learn how to prepare and conserve the food he grew, so the years he spent on the farm were a very big learning experience. at first, he had help from his neighbors, who helped him learn the ins and outs, and help him with the entire thing while he was still grieving. as time went on, he became able to take care of most of it alone. he still had some time to write, especially during winter, but mostly stopped drawing, save for the few doodles in the margins of his writing. probably filled a few notebooks with lonely poetry.

#my candy love #mcl #mcl lysander #mcl headcanon

[ghirahimbo]

Fanfic Review

tagged by @petite-neko

How many works do you have on ao3? 17

What’s your total ao3 word count? 283,239

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Three on ao3 (Legend of Zelda, Danny Phantom, and Welcome to Night Vale), though I think my ff.net account might have some old Yu-Gi-Oh stuff.

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for? I could imagine writing for the Wheel of Time show, maybe, and I had a thought for a Good Omens oneshot once, but really I'm happy where I am :)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Pinesong Blind, But Now Offers Made in Moonlight All That Bleeds The Importance of Being Link

Which of your fics do you want more attention for? Ohhh Crystalline probably. I'm in this weird space of liking that one while at the same time feeling kinda insecure about it ^^;;

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do eventually! :D I got really behind on it during quarantine when Pinesong kind of exploded, but I'm pretty much caught up now. It's a fun way to make connections with readers :)

What sorts of things do you normally write? Slow burn? Humor? Angst with a happy ending? Some adventure? Emotionally loaded conversations? XD Not really sure what genre I fall into, actually.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Uhhh it's gotta be Echo & Narcissus, I think. WTNV Strex Corp bad ending oneshot ;-;

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone? Probably Blind, But Now, because I did a lot of research about writing for a blind protagonist, and it's probably the closest I've come to writing longfic.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not usually. I'll read them sometimes, but prefer to write characters in their own worlds.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Somebody's translating Pinesong into Chinese right now, actually! I could probably find the link if anyone's interested :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ha ha, started to once with a Yu-Gi-Oh fic, but we only got about six chapters in before my partner drifted away from the fandom.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? lol I don't like saying that I'll never finish a wip because I tend to pick them up again after a couple years away XD That being said, I doubt I'll ever get The Importance of Being Link all the way through the Ganon fight, but I never really expected to, either.

What are you currently working on? Blind, But Now's last chapter and a revalink secret santa oneshot :) After that it's back to Arbiter and Better, and after that I have a longfic idea I really want to do... plus some random oneshots and maybe TIoBL thrown in there, I'm sure.

What are your writing strengths? lmao you tell me XD I guess I've heard it's characterization.

What are your writing weaknesses? Consistency.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent? The first I published for was Danny Phantom, and most recent is Legend of Zelda.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Depends on my mood. I guess I usually enjoy rereading The Importance of Being Link because I never really tried to be serious with it, so I felt less pressure for it to be "good"

What fic are you most proud of? Blind, But Now, mostly because I'm proud of myself for not giving up on it XD

Tagging: @coconi, @tirsynni, @heleentje (if you want! no pressure!)

#writing #ask meme #thanks for the tag!

[moon-shadow02]

Hello! I would love to know what your answers are for questions 16, 18, 25! (from the get to know the author asks)

Hey Sen, thanks for the ask! Here it goes :))

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

If this is referring to a character who has stayed with me for a long time that would be Faolin, an elf warrior of sorts from the Inheritance cycle by Christopher Paolini. I read it in 2015 I think and in canon, Faolin dies at the very beginning of the first book, and we only get a few extra details about him as the series continues.

But since he was said to be very close to the elven princess Arya, who was my favorite character 👀 I sorta made an au in my mind where he didn't actually die and he's not an elf exactly but a separate yet similar race and he sorta shows up again to train Eragon, reconnect with Arya and help save the world. So um yeah he and his story keep popping up in my head occasionally 😅

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

Hmm affected me, yes, influenced my style, probably not XD. That would be the Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. This is probably my favorite book of all time, I'm blown away every time by the narrative perspective, the emotion he manages to convey and the DAMN BEAUTIFUL WRITING!

I don't mean plot stuff necessarily, but the descriptions, the way things are expressed, seriously, I find them stunning, so masterfully are the words used, just- wow. And yeah, it hasn't influenced my style, mine is kinda too stiff and technical right now, but honestly, the Book Thief is like my goal and inspiration in terms of beautiful use of works and impact.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you're particularly proud of

Hahaha short paragraph they say 😅

(From my Tower of God fic)

<<"You...! How did you-" Malek managed to say.

The girl laughed. "How did I not crack my head open and die at the bottom of that pit, you mean? Well you've got my Mizuchi blood to thank for that!"

She raised her bangs to show what had probably been a nasty wound on her forehead, but that had long stopped bleeding and was already closing itself. And despite that and other scrapes and scratches she had all over her legs and arms, she seemed very upbeat. Suspiciously so...

"Thanks for the fun challenge, I'm glad we got to play one last game before we-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he cut her off. "It wasn't a game!" 

Her smile dropped at that and her eyebrows furrowed considering this, "It wasn't? So you actually... you actually meant for me to stay down there?" A flash of understanding and all glee was gone from her eyes. "You meant for me to die.">> 

(From a sorta original story I started writing but didn't get too far on)

<<With one last petulant wail, the beast stumbled and fell. Its great horned head hit the ground with a thud and its amber eyes, ever so scrutinizing before, stopped dead in their sockets.

The land has yearned for blood and blood it had received. The very sky of Ewhain was torn apart that day, the day the tyrant king Kantor took his last breath.>>

Haha, thanks again for asking, this has been lots of fun! :3

#ask game #omg thank you for the ask #ao3 writer #writerblr #fanfiction #and other?

[youmakemyhearthowl]

So here’s the thing

(can I get your opinions on this.. would you read this? should I keep going? It would be a slow burn Sterek fic!) read here —>> https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/33344914/chapters/82811104

If you had told Stiles a year ago that he was going to be running around in the woods looking for a dead body, he probably would have shrugged and said “Yea that sounds about right.” And honestly you should have probably just told him not to do stuff like that, because if you had he wouldn't be laying in a pile of leaves next to half a girl's body clutching his side where some animal just tried to make him dinner. But alas, the only person who ever really could get Stiles to listen to advice anyways was his mother and she was long gone now. 

Sighing Stiles rolled over onto his side, using his free hand not currently trying to hold his organs in to push himself up onto his feet. Hesitating he strained his ears to listen to the silent woods around him, but the only noise he heard was a loud howl somewhere off in the distance that didn’t really make any sense because wolves hadn’t been in California in years, so its probably just  dog. (Stiles knew for a fact it was not dog, but let him live in blissful ignorance until he can’t anymore)

“This is what I get, really, honestly it’s not a surprise. Its Karma, for dragging Scott out here to look for a dead body then leaving him to lie to my dad.” Stiles groaned, his feet sluggish moving through the leaves around him, blood dripping slightly from between his fingers. 

“Who’s out there?” A sharp voice suddenly called, causing Stiles to hit the deck so fast, he’s pretty sure he ripped his bleeding wound open more. “This is private property.” The voice called again.

“Ah sorry Derek it’s just us.” Stiles heard his fathers voice then, and he instinctively pressed himself closer to the ground, hissing quietly at the pain it erupted. 

“Sherriff.” Came the voice, Derek, Stiles brain supplied. 

“We haven’t been able to find anything yet, but you really don’t need to be out here with us looking, we’ll make sure we find your sister.” Stiles could hear leaves shuffling and he held his breath, cringing at the realization that of course the body was a real person with a family that was mourning her, how could he be so insensitive. 

“Thank you for all you are doing Sheriff.” Stiles heard more leaves shuffling around and counted to 30 before gingerly pushing up off the wet ground to look around. He noted his fathers deputies and him were headed back towards the east, away from him and he let out an audible sigh.

“What part of private property don’t you understand.” A voice grumbled in his ear suddenly, causing Stiles to shriek and loose balance on his hand, face planting back into the wet earth.

“Jesus Christ, you can’t just do that to someone.” He snapped rolling onto his back and forcing himself to stand back up, tightly pressing his arm to his torso and gesturing wildly with the other to draw attention away from the blood he knew was soaking his blue shirt. 

“It’s my property so I’m pretty sure I can.” The man shot back, and Stiles recognized it as the same voice that was speaking with his father only moments ago. The soft glow of the moon illuminating his white teeth.

“Holy shit, you’re Derek Hale.” He breathed, ignoring the way his hairs were standing on end as if to indicate “run, predator, leave now” 

“What are you doing out here?” Derek growled, his eyes looking Stiles up an down making the younger boy squirm.

“Uhh. Helping my dad?” He offered, slowly lowering the arm around his waist trying not to draw attention that anything was wrong.

“Are you hurt?” Jesus this dude really knows how to hold a conversation  Stiles thought sarcastically, holding back an eye roll.

“Hmm? Oh yea, tripped and skinned my knee no biggie, but I probably should be heading home now, ya know, cause my dad… the Sheriff might wonder where I am If he beats me home.” Shifting from foot to foot Stiles pulled his hoodie closer around his body, hoping the guy in front of him couldn't hear the pain in his voice. Derek simply grunted nodding his head, before turning around and making his way towards where Stiles knew the Hale house remains were.

“Fucking Christ,”  The teenager groaned lifting up his shirt to take a look at the wound in his side, his blood trickling down his stomach. “I really gotta get to the jeep.” Groaning Stiles pulled his sweatshirt off and tied the arms around his waste to help put pressure on the wound willing his feet to pull him in the direction of his vehicle. 

“This is it, I’m just gonna die out here and then I’ll be the body my dads looking for” He muttered to himself trying to find a decent foothold to climb up the last remaining hill to his Jeep.

“How’d my son die? Oh sorry sir he was a dumb ass who listened to your police scanner and tried to find a dead body and then got his guts wrapped out by a wolf, even though wolves aren’t in California anymore, ya know typical stiles shenanigans.” Stiles was mumbling to himself when suddenly his foot slipped and he tumbled backwards landing with a groan, a sharp pain shooting through his foot. “Can’t a guy catch a break?” He cried willing himself to sit up, pushing through the agonizing burning around his stomach to look at his ankle. “Please dear god don’t be broken.” He sighed crawling until he was close enough to a tree to assist him in standing up, slowly he eased him self up and put his foot down only to hiss once he put pressure on it. 

“You deserve this you know.” He grumbled to himself, hobbling over to the least steep part of the hill he could find. “It really is karmic retribution.”

“Stiles? Stiles is that you?” Stiles head shot up wiping around to the side of him until his eyes landed on the form that spoke.

“Scott?”

“Oh thank god, holy shit, I doubled back after sneaking away from your dad, and something like attacked me and I thought something had happened to y… holy shit Stiles you’re bleeding.” Scott ran over pulling Stiles arm around his neck and leading him around the hill he’d been trying to climb.

“Of course there's a fucking spot that's not even a hill” He grumbled under his breath, hissing every time he needed to use his leg to limp forward.

“Stiles why didn’t you call me? You look like you’ve been bleeding a lot.” 

“You’re shirt also states you’ve been bleeding.” Stiles noted out loud nodding his head towards Scotts bloody t shirt.

“Yea some kind of dog bite me.”

“Hey me too.” Stiles chuckled leaning his forehead against the cool door of his jeep when they finally made it.

“Looks like it got you a little worse then me huh?” Scott breathed, reaching into the backseat and pulling out stiles first aid kit. Stiles was never more glad then this very moment that Melissa insisted that he keep one with him at all times as soon as he got the vehicle.

“Scott I think I'm gonna throw up.” He groaned sliding down the side of the jeep until he was sitting on the ground

“Lay down man, lemme take a look at it.”

“I’m not a dog Scotty, how are you even going to be able to do anything.”

“Just cause I’m a vet’s assistant doesn't mean my mom hasn't taught me basic first aid.” Scott rolled his eyes at his best friend helping him lean back till he was laying flat on the ground.

“Shouldn't you be taking care of your injury, McCall.” He groaned, closing his eyes.

“Already did.. Jesus Stiles.” Scotts voice came out breathy as he lifted up the other boys shirt taking in the sight before him. “Did it knaw on you?” He whispered shuffling through the contents of the kit in front of him till he found the Alcohol.

“Sure feels like it.” Stiles laugh came out wet and airy. “Hey if I die out here, talk me up at my funeral, need Lydia to know how bad ass I was fighting off a real Wolf.” 

“Stiles don’t be so dramatic you’re not going to die.”

“They say that in movies all the time and you know what happens next? The guys dies.” 

“This isn’t a movie.”

“Should be, I'm hysterical, I’d be a great subject for a movie.” Scott huffed out a laugh moving from stiles now wrapped abdomen to his ankle.

“I think this is just a sprain, so that's good. We should probably go to the hospital though.”

“I’m sorry did you forget who our parents are? Tomorrows the first day of Junior year I am not starting out grounded.”

“Stiles you’re stomach looks really bad man.” Scott whispered helping Stiles stand back up.

“Pshh I’ll be fine, lets just go home, I already texted your mom saying you staying with me tonight.” Stiles laughed covering a grimace as he climbed behind the wheel.

“Stiles, you shouldn’t be driving.”

“Potato tomato”

“What?”

“Just get in lets go home.”

#teen Wolf #teen wolf fic #Teen wolf fanfic #Sterek #sterekfic #sterek fic #stiles stilinski #derek hale #scott mccall

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

So... I was kinda disappointed with Buck Begins... NOT ENTIRELY. Just...

Major spoilers ahead. You should definitely watch the episode before reading my complaints... because I have a lot of them, and you shouldn't have the negative thoughts going into it...

But I'm gonna start with the good stuff.

The Buckley Siblings are everything to me. I love their relationship, and watching Buck grow up with Maddie protecting him? *chef's kiss* Perfection.

Buck being a daredevil because it was the only time that he got positive attention from his parents as a child? Absolutely heartbreaking and I hate his parents for *so much* for that.

Maddie doing whatever she could to help her baby brother, even when she was terrified and probably knew how bad it was going to get? I love her with my whole heart.

And I absolutely love the way they highlighted their relationship and how important Maddie is to Buck.

The moment when the team comes in to help Buck and save him and the other person? Cinematic excellence, I applaud them for that scene. His team loves him and will always have his back, and he *knows* that now.

And now for my grievances and where I think they missed the target...

It focused on Maddie too much for a "Buck Begins" episode. I get that she's a huge part of his life and that she would be in the childhood flashbacks, but even once Buck was out on his own, all we got to see were the postcards (with handwriting that did not look At All like Buck's handwriting, might I add) and the one scene of Buck bartending in Peru where he decided to move to LA and become a firefighter.

We already basically got a Maddie Begins episode, when Doug came back and kidnapped her. I didn't need another one. (I love Maddie and I loved the flashbacks, but... it just should have focused more on Buck. It was his episode, after all.)

We should have gotten to actually *see* what Buck did with his life before he made it to LA. They could have shown Maddie receiving a postcard, then done a montage with a shot of Buck writing one of the postcards. That montage focused more on Maddie than it did on Buck, which kind of frustrated me.

And then in present day? They made such a big deal about the family secret, and it just fizzled out. Like it didn't matter anymore. And I honestly don't see them doing much more with it, unless (God forbid) in a later season the Madney baby gets leukemia or something and Buck is a perfect match to save his niece. (Actually I could see them doing that and I would definitely cry. That would maybe give them a pass with this plot thread.)

Then with the factory fire? Idk, it didn't feel intense enough for me. NOT that I wanted Buck to horribly suffer more, but... Eddie being buried alive in his episode was So Much More Intense. Chimney's episode happened while he was literally bleeding nearly to death. I was hoping for more.

And maybe it has something to do with the lack of reaction from the entire team when the building exploded. Not only did we not see Eddie panic, even briefly, about Buck being trapped, we didn't see Bobby or Chimney of Hen panic either! Bobby sees Buck as a son, this is basically canon now. And Chimney and Hen see him as their little brother.

The exploding ladder truck and the tsunami both felt way more intense for Buck than the factory fire in this episode.

And then to top it off, NOBODY GAVE BUCK A HUG AFTER THR FACTORY FIRE! And Eddie and Chimney weren't even there by the ambulance! Like, what the fuck? Yes, Bobby, Athena, and Hen told him what he needed to hear, but they all should have been there! Supporting him! Where were they???

Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to casually make Buck canonically bisexual. Instead of meeting a girl who taught him how to surf, he could have met a guy. Then things didn't work out, just like they didn't with the girl.

UGH, these writers! They're either *really* amazing or *really* miss the important stuff... there was so much potential, and they just wasted it!

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I did enjoy the episode, but it was definitely not the best Begins episode in my opinion.

What are your thoughts? I clearly have too many.

-Quarantine Anon

So I just finished watching. Spoilers beneath the cut

So here’s what I knew going into this- everyone was going wild with theories and ideas and great fics of what was going to play out. Which is great. But I do think it got hyped up because of that.

The flashbacks to the Buckley childhood hurt so much. Margaret seemed to take it out on Evan so much because in her eyes- he failed her by not saving Daniel. BEGONE, Margaret! You can’t put that on your child if your own plan was to use the child to save a sibling and then deem him not deserving of love because of nature and genetics. But Maddie and Buck? I love a pair of siblings while being in agony over the hells they’ve walked through.

The use of ‘So Far’ and the team helping him? Poetic cinema. I felt so many emotions and had a bit of a cry.

I actually liked the postcards. I think if they had gone to film all of what he did, it would have gotten jammed packed. The bartender was stated in canon, so that felt worthy of a flashback (and oh wow, that was not the revelation I needed that I try to know cool things to impress cute people. Buck is not straight, I don’t care what anyone says). Plus, with Covid-19, I bet there would be some filming issues. Also, it felt the ups and downs in Buck’s postcards paralleled Maddie’s injuries from Doug. They were both lost thinking they were living, except they weren’t. It was all about survival. And the worst part is that sometimes, you will lull yourself into a sense that survival=living when that’s not the case. That’s what happened to the Buckleys I think.

We don’t know what’s to come, but the family secret might come up again in therapy. Which they better freaking continue and not drop like the Flash did.

On the factory fire- I think we hyped it up more than we expected. Eddie Begins and Chimney Begins were really serious episodes with their lives on the line. And I think about Buck talking about giving up after he gets out. He wasn’t going into this fire with a clear head. I think he saw himself as the replacement baby still who couldn’t ever live up, who couldn’t do things right. He wouldn’t leave despite ordered because that was showing Saleh he didn’t matter. To Buck, he did. He gets being left behind and in those situations, you’d rather someone else be happier and fine while you take the impact. Like the world would keep turning and everyone would be fine (eventually) after you left it.

The ladder truck and tsunami were physical pain. The factory fire was emotional pain. (which reminds me, I need to make a post about the element symbolism in Begins episodes)

If we didn’t see a hug in the episode, then we write the fic for it. Missing scenes can be created ;) Not to mention they’ve all still got work to get done on the scene. After events like that, I think everyone needed time to process it.

I get bisexual vibes off Buck big time in this episode. And I think there is repression and closeting that comes into play here. Your parents are constantly disappointed in you, so why disappoint them further? Bury it down deep and deeper who you really are. It was the attention-seeking that would work out for him. Also, bisexuality is more than one. You identify as bi and your partner uses she/her? Bi. Partner uses he/his? BI. Partner uses them/they? Still bi. (Also, how much do we know about the postcards he wrote. Maybe he didn’t give her the full story. There’s only so much room in a postcard and she was the one person in the world who still believed in him. Was he afraid to disappoint her?)

Overall, I did enjoy the episode. Eddie Begins always holds a special place in my heart as the first ever episode of 911 I saw enough of to get me interested in the show. The thing is that I can’t pit the Begins episodes against each other. They all show a journey in some way. 

Hopefully this was coherant enough and I’m sorry for my little bisexual rant.

#anon #ask box #quarantine anon #911 #911 spoilers #evan buckley #maddie buckley #buckley siblings

[toomanyfandoms02]

Writing prompts!

So I just reached 100 followers and I am BEYOND happy YALL. So heres 100 prompts for people to send me asks with! Send as many numbers as you want in one and I'll make a blurb from it. (And by blurb I mean I will grow attatched to your request and write a whole fic on it probably lmao) THIS WAS PREVIOUSLY MY 100 FOLLOWER THIBG BUT IM BRINGING PROMPTS BACK FOR REQUESTS.

FYI no matter when you are seeing this, request. I don't care. I'm always up for inspiration. :))))

If it has a star next to it, I came up with it on my own.

These probably wont be blurbs and will be longer!

I'm currently writing for >>>>

Breakfast Club

HARRY POTTER

Spencer Reid / MGG

The Maze Runner

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Spiderman

Barry Allen

Theres a list of who I write best for on my page!! ^^^^

1. "I told you not to read that."

2. "Sir, this is for children only."

3. "Are you kidding me? We're not 'fine'!"

4. "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no!"

5. "Hey... what's wrong with your face?"

6. "You look a lot different from your profile picture."

7. "Are you going to keep walking by my house, or are you going to come in?"

8. "Dude, it's three in the morning."

9. "I can't believe I use to think he was attractive."

10. "Actually, you *are* speaking to the manager."

11. "This isn't going to be a typical best man's speech."

12. "According to this, you owe them eighty thousand dollars."

13. "That's the worst reason I've ever heard to have a baby."

14. "I didn't even recognize you!"

15. "You're Satan."

16. "I need a place to stay."

17. "It's six o'clock in the morning, you're not having vodka."

18. "Safety first. What are you? FIVE?"

19. "This is girl talk, so leave."

20. "You're bleeding all over my carpet."

21. "Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now."

22. "Hold still."

23. "You're not interested, are you?"

24. "Oh honey, I'd never be jealous of you."

25. "I'm telling you, I'm haunted."

26. "Touch her again and I'll break your wrist."

27. "Don't look behind you, hurt that guy is checking you out."

28. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

29. "Quick! Kiss me!"

30. "Just shut up and kiss me."

31. "I hate high school reunions."

32. "I think I picked up your coffee by mistake."

33. "I've never felt this way before... and it scares the shit out of me."

34. "Wait a second, are you jealous?"

35. "This is by far the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."

36. "You never told me you had a fucking twin."

37. "Am I suppose to be scared of you?"

38. "You're hiding something from me."

39. "A wedding?"

40. "Where would someone hide in a town like this?"

41. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

42. "Is this skirt suppose to be this short? I kinda feel like a french whore" *

43. "Oh fuck off."

44. "When did you take that?"

45. "I hid it."

46. "Stop trying to look cool in paparazzi pictures, you look like a dumbass." *

47. "Can you stop laughing?"

48. "You look like a reptile from this angle. Lizard? Snake? Turtle? I just can't decide." *

49. "You have a dirty mind."

50. "You guys are lame."

51. "I don't know. Resurrection maybe?"

52. "This is a safe space." "What the hell are you talking about?" "SAFE SPACE!"

53. "Just stab him."

54. "I'm in dire need of assistance."

55. "I'm gonna die in an elevator full of idiots."

56. "Shoot me."

57. "I feel like you know." *

58. "You're making me dizzy."

59. "I don't want any excuses, they must have the hottest date ever."

60. "Are you with him because it's easy?"

61. "Dibs!" *

62. "If we die, I'm going to kill you."

63. "Do you think you could just go *one* day without pissing me off?"

64. "Your hands are really soft." *

65. "We've become the clingy newlyweds you've always complained about."

66. "Pregnant?"

67. "We are SO much cuter than them."

68. "Wanna go for a drive?"

69. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

70. "Sleep over? Please?"

71. "Are we on a date right now?"

72. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't suppose to see that."

73. "Well I think you're beautiful."

74. "Your feet are so cold!"

75. "You come here often?" "Well I work here, so I'll have to say yes."

76. "You met me yesterday though?" "Yes, and I would die for you in one second. Next question."

77. "I can't stop smiling."

78. "Did you see it?"

79. "Don't leave me alone."

80. "Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

81. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I gonna do?"

82. "How can you drink that stuff?"

83. "Stop apologizing for other people! You aren't the shitty one!"

84. "I just wanna be swept off my feet. Is that so much to ask?"

85. "Oh, my ankle! It must be broken!" *wink wink*

86. "These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaing about your tie you whine ass." *

87. "I don't want to ruin your party."

88. "Could you just come get me?"

89. "Now I have to start counting all over again!"

90. "Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?"

91. "You are very endearing while you are half-asleep."

92. "But I want to hear you sing!"

93. "No- Mom- don't tell him I said that. Wait!" *

94. "And you wonder why you are still single."

95. "Somebodys cranky." "Somebody needs to shut up."

96. "She's hot. But she's evil."

97. "Pinky promise!"

98. "I'd rather jump out that window. But thanks." *

99. "Hello, sunshine."

100. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

BONUS:

Prompts based on things my best friend has said (changed a little bit for context)

1b. "Man, I hope this ice melts soon."

2b. "Holy SHIT the Disney World parking lot is packed."

3b. "Those tree lights are burning my retinas."

4b. "These are fun to work with." "Not to eat." "No!"

5b. "I mean, I could hit a kid with a car."

6b. "You up? I need to call you! It's not bad it's just kinda funny!"

7b. "Wow I can't imagine being that rich! How old are the kids, maybe I can date one."

8b. "The oldest I would go? 98 I think, for money purposes."

Thank you guys so much. I love you all. SEND ME THOSE ASKS!!!

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #MGG #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #prompts #buzzfeedunsolved #harry potter #draco malfoy #the maze runner #the breakfast club #breakfast club #the flash #barry allen #spiderman #peter parker