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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

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➪the one where you move on quicker than ashton expected you to.

Warnings: ashton is so rude tbh, swearing, angst, cheating, mentions of cheating, gaslighting, the hypocrisy is real in this one

Ngl, I never thought I'd write for a 5sos member, let alone Ash, but I heard this song and instantly thought of this idea. So, enjoy.

PSA: Feel free to picture Theo Carpenter as your favourite celebrity/celebrity crush because that's exactly what I did while writing this.

Word Count: 3.4k

Do no repost this anywhere.

The lights were blinding and hot, the waves creating a steady flow of warmth down and directly onto your face. You were for sure going to need to shower after this and scrub the dampness off your skin that would inevitably gather by the end of the night.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tonight was redemption. Sort of.

It was the night of your big comeback, where you can finally reappear and revitalise your name.

It was also the night where you could show a certain someone that you were fine, great, even, and that you no longer needed him. Your world no longer circled around him, and it was now fully healed.

So, as the lights hit an all time brightness and the intro to the song started, you couldn’t be bothered to even attempt to find him in the crowd, where you knew for a fact he was currently hiding.

“I can’t believe you,” you mutter from your spot on the couch. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Me? What about you, huh?” Ashton asked angrily as he stood across from you.

“Oh, no. Don’t you dare turn this around to make it my fault when you’re the one sneaking around behind my back,” you held yourself back from yelling and attempted to calm down by stepping away from your boyfriend, creating space that was desperately needed at this point.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not sneaking around?” He tugged on his hair in frustration. “You’re the one who is assuming that after you went through my phone. Now you’re just being paranoid because you saw a few texts, all of which you have no idea what we were even talking about.”

“I didn’t go through your phone,” you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. “You got a text, told me to answer it for you and I saw the previous messages. You were with someone named Becca the night you told me you were with the guys. What’s that about? Seems like you are sneaking around and now you can’t even admit to it.”

Ashton fell silent at that, clearing not thinking that you paid that close attention to the date of the text. Feeling like he was fighting a losing battle, he where he was and copied your stance by crossing his arms as well. “The point still stands,” he grunted. “You read private messages that had nothing to do with you.”

Your mouth fell open and your eyes squinted in anger. “You told me to!” You finally snapped, giving up on trying to stay calm. How could you possibly stay calm when he was the one caught in a lie and was now trying to make it seem like you were at fault. “I need you to tell me something, and if you lie again, I swear.”

Ashton remained quiet at your empty threat.

“Have you been seeing someone else behind my back?” The question felt like it physically hurt to ask. This was the man you were head over heels in love with, but here you are questioning his faithfulness. If you were wrong and thinking too much into it, accusing him of something like this could very easily break your relationship. But, as Ashton kept his mouth shut and refused to answer, you knew you weren’t the one who threw it all away. He was. “Yes or no?”

It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked out as he sighed before answering you, and the three words had your world come crashing down around you. “Not sexually, no,”

If he wanted to lessen the blow by saying he didn’t sleep with her, he sure as hell did a bad job as your breath got caught in your throat and your heart fell to the floor.

Your ears felt like they were on fire. The confession had been something you were suspicious of for months now, but hearing him confirm it did nothing to stop the breaking you felt in your heart.

You scoffed, you had to. Never did you ever think you’d be in this situation, let alone with him, of all people, so it all still felt a little surreal at the moment. He was a good guy, he always had been, how were you supposed to know he’d be the kind to talk to someone else while in a long term relationship? “Did you kiss her?” You weren’t sure if you wanted the answer, but you knew you needed to hear it.

You needed to hear how he single-handedly demolished your relationship of four years. “Yes,” he answered, getting it over with. “I did.”

It was cruel, really. You gave him everything he could’ve possibly asked for, loved him with every fibre of your being and this was how he repaid you? “Well, then I guess I know where we stand,” you nodded once, refusing to meet his eye as your whole body tenses up at still being in the same room as him.

“Y/n, I’m sorry-” he tried but you cut him off with a raise of your hand, silencing him successfully.

“Let’s not go there,” you say, your voice coming out a lot stronger than you felt. “Okay?”

Ashton’s shoulders dropped as he nodded. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Look, I can still perform with you at the award show, I really don’t mind-”

You once again cut him off, this time with a laugh.

You see, Ashton was the drummer in his band, but he also was yours. You weren’t a full time singer, you’ve only released two albums since you started singing six years ago, so it was easy for Ashton to drum for both his band and yours.

You are a solo artist, and only performed a few times a year, if that, and he insisted he be your drummer for your songs and performances. And he was. Every time you went to record a song or walked on stage, he was right there beside you, and back then, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Now the thought of him being on stage with you, after everything he did to you, and doing it out of pity, made you feel sick.

Shaking your head, you reach down to grab your bag from the couch, slinging it over your shoulder. “No, I’m good,”

Ashton furrowed his brows, stepping closer to you. “Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have anyone else to do it. Really, it’s okay, I can-”

“No, Ashton, you don’t understand. The thought of being on stage with you after this is enough to make me want to jump head first into the nearest wall,” you mutter, your harsh words surprising your now ex boyfriend. “I’ll find someone else, so don’t worry about it.”

He shook his head, following your retreating form into the hallway. The image of someone else being on stage with you infuriated him, and he couldn’t figure out why. “Are you sure? It’s too short of notice to find someone else. Please, let me do this one last thing for you.”

You scoff and open the front door, not even bothering to glance back at him as you leave the house. “Goodbye, Ashton,” you mutter and slam the door behind you.

Ashton seriously regretted coming tonight.

Why had he thought this would be a good idea?

Why did he think he could get through tonight, knowing you’d be doing your first performance in nearly over a year?

Fuck, he wanted to go home so bad.

Especially when the announcer said your name and it rang throughout the massive room.

You weren’t singing an original song, no, not at all.

You were singing a cover of the song You’re so Vain by Carly Simon, and somehow it felt fitting.

Ashton had a clear view of you, his and the band’s seats considerably close to the stage, and he felt him sigh a breath of relief when the song began and there were no drums to be heard.

You hadn’t found a new drummer in the two months since you broke up.

He didn’t know why he felt so relieved at that, until the lights turned on and your figure was illuminated. It was then that he knew why he was happy he hadn’t been replaced yet.

You were glowing, literally, and so beautiful. The flowy dress you wore was navy blue and it was long in the back, reaching your heels, and short in the front, reaching just above your knees. The black combat boots he had seen you wear countless of times were what completed the look and he felt his heart tighten at the sight of you.

However, you weren’t what took his breath away.

Oh, no. When the beat picked up and the rest of the lights turned on to show your band, that is when it felt as if all the air in his body had been taken away.

As the first verse began, the drums kicked in and the person emitting the sounds was lit up by light, revealing the face Ashton had no idea he hated so much.

Theo fucking Carpenter.

It had been a full two weeks since Ashton watched you walk out the door. Two weeks since he let you walk out of his life. And two weeks since Becca had practically moved in.

He felt like he was losing his mind.

Had she always been this fucking needy?

He seriously couldn’t remember a time where he wanted to be alone this badly. It was never when he was dating you, that was for sure. Never did he ever want to be alone when he could instead be with you.

Ashton caught himself before his mind wandered to you for what felt like the hundredth time since you broke up with him. That was what you did, right? Neither of you said the words, but it was implied, right?

He felt yet another headache coming on after Becca kissed him goodbye and left the house for a girls night with her friends, and finally he was at peace.

He basically threw himself down on the couch and pulled out his phone, beginning to scroll through Twitter. This, of course, was something he’d immediately regret.

When he was with you, he’d like, quote tweet and retweet anything to do with you. It was his way of showing you off, and letting people know that he was the one who you went home to at the end of every day.

With that being said, Twitter really couldn’t be blamed for showing an article about you in his feed. Twitter displays topics he’s liked and retweeted in the past and puts them in his home page. He had made what he wanted to show up in his feed pretty clear; you, the band, fan stuff, and more of you.

He had no idea how to filter you out of the feed, and right now he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

He was about to scroll past the tweet when he saw the picture attached to it. It made him do a double take and he quickly scrolled back up to read the caption;

PopUpdates: Singer Y/n Y/l/n was seen out for the first time since her split with 5 Seconds of Summer’s Ashton Irwin, but she wasn’t alone. She was photographed getting cosy with drummer Theo Carpenter, who recently split from his band Black Framed Velvet.

Without thinking, he opened the thread and felt his heart drop to his stomach at all the replies.

PopUpdates: They were pictured getting pretty close to one another, and some even say they were spotted kissing, though no pictures were taken at the time. Could he be her new drummer, and possible lover, after things fell through with her ex?

His eyes couldn’t leave the screen as he read through the comments, each one stabbing at his heart.

I’m so happy for her!

Massive upgrade, tbh.

She has a type, ig.

He’s so hot omg she’s so lucky.

Not me having a crush on her ex and now her new bf.

Sis has taste.

Ashton was better. Sorry.

She moved on hella quick if they’re actually together, but I don’t blame her.

Pretty sure he’s just her new drummer since I doubt Ash would want to perform with her after they broke up.

They’re not together smh.

He’s hot though.

I hope they’re actually together! She deserves someone who will love her the way she should be loved.

It was true, and Ashton hated that he wasn’t that guy for you.

The pictures did nothing to soothe his hurting heart and it was then that he realized exactly what he lost.

The images were endless. There were countless ones of you and Theo holding hands, laughing, whispering to each other and even a few of you hugging.

How did you move on so quickly? Did he really mean nothing to you-

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of the door opening, and for a second he wished it was you. He was brought back to reality when Becca quickly ran upstairs, muttering something about forgetting her phone charger.

It was also then he realized that you hadn’t moved on fast. He did. He moved on while still in a relationship with you, and he had no right to be feeling the way he currently was.

He didn’t even react when Becca said goodbye again and left again as he stared at the face of your new….boyfriend? Drummer? He didn’t know.

All he did know was that whoever he was to you, Ashton couldn’t stand him.

Ashton could feel his face heat up and he wasn’t sure what exactly it was from. Was it from the way you sung the song so beautifully that ensured he knew what he was missing? Was it because he knew his bandmates were looking at him with pity? Or was it because you replaced him?

You hadn’t been seen out with Theo since your first sighting with him, so Ashton just assumed it was a friend-date….thing. A one and done deal. This was not what he was expecting at all.

He fucked up, that much was obvious.

He watched as your head turned and you held eye contact with Theo as the chorus came around. Theo increased the volume of the drums to build up the tempo, his eyes not even needing to look at the drums to be able to play them properly as they never left yours.

It was clear that the two of you had to have been practising this for months now and why did the thought make Ashton feel so angry? He was the one at fault for the way things ended, he wanted out, so why did his chest constrict with such an unbearable amount of jealousy and envy?

Fuck, what did he do?

He never had to worry about being jealous while with you as you made it constantly clear that he was the only person you could ever want. Now that he didn’t have you anymore, there was nothing left to calm down his racing heart as he watched the performance.

Ashton was sure he couldn’t feel any worse, but you promptly proved him wrong as the end of the song neared and you began to walk, quite a sultry walk, towards the drumset.

Without any warning, Theo moved his body and provided with all the space you needed to sit yourself down on his lap, your legs draped over his thigh as his arms reached around you to continue playing. It was planned beforehand, of course, but that still wouldn’t have prepared Ashton for the sight of you on the lap of another man.

You wrapped your arm around his shoulders while the hand of your other held onto the microphone. You finished the song a few seconds later, pulling Theo into you as he dropped the sticks and wrapped his arms around your middle.

The amount of pictures that captured the moment would surely haunt Ashton tomorrow.

The lights dim after that and he could no longer see the pair of you, something he was both grateful and pissed about.

How was he supposed to perform after that?

Ashton slammed the door behind him and headed straight for his room, where he kicked his shoes off and fell face first into his bed.

Today was unbearable. The guys were on his case for hours on end, Becca went on a rant on Twitter about how much of an asshole he was and how the relationship was over, and he had to stop himself from calling you more than once already.

He dreaded pulling out his phone at this point.

But he did anyway.

PopUpdates: Ashton Irwin and girlfriend Becca Harrison have called it quits after just one month of dating. Harrison was Irwin’s first relationship after his split from Y/n Y/l/n, and it seems as if his luck with relationships is wilting by the day.

Fuck, how embarrasing.

Oof, that’s what happens when you cheat.

Is it true he cheated on Y/n with her? If so, this clearly wasn’t worth it lmao.

What a waste of time lol.

Didn’t he and Y/n break up like a month and a half ago? Damn, he moved on quick af.

Oh well, that’s what happens when you don’t realize how well you had it.

He really did have it well. Why had he done it? Why did he take your love for granted when all you did was be good to him?

He felt embarrassed and humiliated and hated himself at that moment more than he ever had in his entire life.

The show was done with, thankfully.

As Ashton sat in the backseat of the car beside Luke, he was really refraining from grabbing his phone and seeing what people were saying about your performance.

It was a mere three minutes later when he ignored the way his head was screaming at him to leave it alone and grabbed his phone, opening the stupid bird app he had grown to despise.

PopUpdates: Y/n Y/l/n and Theo Carpenter gave us one steamy performance at tonight’s show. The singer later confirmed that Carpenter is the newest addition to the band and he adapted to the change rather quickly and picked up on her style of music with little to no difficulty.

PopUpdates: Theo took to Instagram to thank his new lead singer in a post that had all of our hearts melting! We wish nothing but the best for this new chapter and we can’t wait to see what’s in store for them.

Ashton never switched to another app so quickly in his life.

With that being said, he had no time to prepare himself for when he’d come face to face with the image of you on Theo’s lap. One of your arms was around his shoulders while your other was outstretched, your fingers still wrapped around the mic. Your eyes were closed and the biggest smile he had ever seen on you was present on your lips. Theo’s arm was around your waist while his other was also outstretched, his fingers holding onto the drumsticks as he gazed at you.

It really was the perfect picture.

TheoCarpenter: Had the time of my life tonight alongside Y/nY/l/n and our extraordinary band. Never have I ever felt so loved and welcomed. Thank you all for the support and for watching my first show with my new family.

This is probably my favourite picture ever, and it’s mainly because of the amazing woman in it. I’ve waited a long time for you and I’m so proud of you and everything you are. This is your comeback, this is YOUR time. Happy comeback day, baby! My heart has never been fuller.

The cherry on top was the single pink heart emoji you left in his comments.

It was official. It was truly over between you and Ashton, but that was old news. Why did it feel like you broke up with him all over again?

You hadn’t been together for months at this point, so why did he still feel so hurt at the fact that you weren’t his anymore? Ashton put his phone away and he was glad it was so dark in the car. He didn’t want his brothers and bandmates to see him crying over the girl he didn’t cry over once in the past couple of months.

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