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mosaickiwi · 8 months

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Nails, TV, Moving

Rendacted paints your nails and 'asks' you to move in. 1.3k words, GN reader c:

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

"Unfortunately for our contestant—" the host’s words get cut off as you press a button on the remote.

"Booooo," you jeered at the TV from your spot on the floor and changed the channel.

Ren hummed softly at your voice, but didn't look up. Despite the dark bangs that obscure their eyes, you can tell they’re focused. He was happily painting your nails—the same shade of black as his own—at your request. He insisted you sit as close as possible on the blanket he laid down, instead of across the coffee table. He'd only ever painted his own nails after all, so the angle was very important to keep him from messing up. You were certain he just said that because he wanted the closeness.

The screen barely flashes a few frames before you're changing it again. A football game, a cartoon, a drama, and then—you finally stop. There's a couple wandering through a cabin, with a disembodied voice narrating all it had to offer. One of the many house hunting shows that came on every so often.

"Oh, this one's pretty." You put down the remote to watch. The couple head upstairs where the master bedroom is and your excitement quickly dies. "Maybe not. The bathroom is a huge let down."

Ren casts a glance up at the TV as the camera pans over the room once more. He took in the slanted ceiling, with the tub stationed on the lower end, lit up by an angled skylight. He didn't really see whatever problem you had. "What's wrong with it?" he asked.

"The ceiling is already so low. You'd have to fold yourself in half to get in that tub, tall as you are. And you'd probably hit your head every time you got out. We couldn't live there," you grumbled and rested your chin on your free hand, eyes never straying from the screen. "No way I'd put you through that."

You didn't notice how he perked up when your concerns involved him—you even said ‘we.’ A miniscule drop of polish fell on the paper towel under your hand. He wasn't sure if you were being considerate, or if your perfectly normal relationship was at the point of buying a home together. He hoped it was the latter. Either way, including them already planted ideas in their mind. "So then, what's our—your ideal home have?"

"My ideal home…" You’d only really thought about things you didn’t want, thanks to your current apartment. "I can't say I'm very picky. No holes in the walls, enough room to breathe, no rats," you paused for a bit—now they were in a rather awkwardly shaped second bedroom. "When I was little I wanted to live in a bounce house. Or have a freezer dedicated to ice cream."

Ren smiled while he carefully painted the nail of your pinky. "One of those is doable."

"True, but I'd rather not blow up my house every day," you joked and continued pondering. "The location is probably the most important, right?" He silently nodded in agreement as you went on. "Corland Bay's nice and all—having everything so close together makes things easy. Except sometimes I wanna fall asleep without hearing cars pass by or Violet playing games. It's much quieter here. Plus your bed is comfy."

"You're more than welcome to live here, Angel," he innocently offered. “Although maybe you’d enjoy somewhere more secluded.”

“Like just out of town? Not too far from civilization. I'd still wanna be near the beach." You watched the couple fuss about the kitchen in another house before you really processed what he just said. You turned to look at him for the first time since the show caught your interest. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Oh, is that what it sounded like?" His tone was full of shock, but you could see the way his snake bites pulled up in a faint grin. He examined your nails and lifted your hand once he deemed it finished. "I do have all this space, though. The library’s close by. Beach is a short walk away, too. No neighbors, no noise. I've never had a rat problem. I guess it hits all the marks f’you, doesn’t it, Angel?"

"Ren…" You rolled your eyes at his antics.

"If you really want to move in that badly, I'm not opposed," he said teasingly. "Other hand."

You didn't respond just yet, merely giving them a playful side eye and placing your hand flat on the table. Gently, you blew air on your wet nails while he went to work. The noise of the TV faded into the background as you thought about his offer.

It was a big step to take. You already spent a fair amount of your time at his place. The ever-dwindling amount of laundry you did at home served as proof. Cohabitating with them wouldn't be much different from now. Ren always gave you space when you asked, even with his clingy personality. He was tidy, quiet, and never made a fuss—the perfect roommate on paper. The real issue was money. A place like this would cost way more than a librarian’s salary could pay.

"As much as I want to, I have to consider rent first," you thought aloud, causing him to stop and look up.

"Angel, you don't need to pay anything." His answer was almost immediate and it surprised you how firm he sounded about it.

You shook your head. "I know I probably can't do half, but I’d like to do my fair share. How much is your rent each month?"

"Well, actually," he stalled and idly rolled the nail brush in his fingers before putting it back in the bottle. The rent was one thing he couldn’t be bothered to keep track of. "...I have no idea?"

"How—what?"

"It's an automatic payment so I never think about it," he admitted, explaining further at your incredulous expression. "I mean I definitely saw it when I found the listing—and when I signed the lease. But I can't remember it off the top of my head."

You had a hard time believing what you were hearing. You knew your own rent by heart—it mocked you every time it took a chunk out of your bank account. A question about how he budgeted weighed in your mind, although the rather calm way Ren spoke clearly answered it: he didn't. It seemed obvious now; he'd been a frivolous spender from the beginning.

The blank look on your face made him a little worried. "Honestly, Angel, it’s not an issue. I’ve been paying it on my own just fine," he insisted. "You don’t have t’worry about any cost if you stay here, I promise.” He’d be happy as a clam to pay triple whatever he already was if it meant you'd move in. Hell, he’d even pay for you to live in one of the empty units next door.

"Fine then," you sighed in defeat, glancing towards the TV screen for a moment. The show was already ending. "If I tried to give you money you'd just find a way to give it back anyways.”

Ren let out a faint breath as if he was holding back laughter, but didn’t disagree. "So, how about it? Gonna move in?” he asked with a sincere smile.

You couldn’t help but smile the same in return. “Yeah, why not? I’d be crazy to say no. I can talk to my landlord and be out in a few weeks, probably.”

His excitement only seemed to grow at your words. He was radiating silent joy, fingers tapping rhythmically on the table as he uncapped the bottle of polish once more. You could almost imagine a tail wagging behind him as he tried to make steady brushstrokes over your nail.

“Are you really that happy?” you laughed and he nodded. “Maybe I should just move in tomorrow.” His hand barely slipped, leaving the tiniest streak of polish on the side of your ring finger.

“Oops,” he muttered.

#14 days with you #14dwy #14dwy redacted #14dwy ren #momo writing #he's a lil silly #dude just yoinks more money if his account looks “low”#but low is 6 digits #your school taught financial literacy but he skipped that lesson to spy on you #bad title hehe

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sophieinwonderland · 6 months

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This might be upsetting but I just saw a post from did a dose of reality and it was concerning to say the least. They said the disorder wasn’t real but they play along with their clients pretending to validate their alters, only because they think that will intergrate them.

And that the only patients that leave them are the “fakers.”

Yikes!

Actually, what is even going on with that blog? There is so much blatant misinformation there.

1. Partial DID

ICD-11:

Do I need to say more?

2. Hallucinations in Dissociative Identity Disorder

They also suggest a few time that DID doesn't involve hallucinations...

Now... I doubt that "those in therapy" are aware of the DSM-5-TR, which is what I think this person is referring to since they talk about it elsewhere. Like, most therapists probably won't give their patients a rundown of the new medical manuals, right? But even if they did, I feel this person missed something pretty important in the TR.

But the TR actually undersells this association. According to one study, these hallucinations are MORE COMMON THAN IN SCHIZOPHRENIA.

And not by a small margin either.

Physical sensations associated with voices were reported 97% of the time in DID compared to 50% in Schizophrenia groups. Visual hallucinations were nearly twice as common. Tactile hallucinations, about 3 times as common.

This misinformation is genuinely dangerous.

If this alleged therapist decided that hallucinations are all psychotic, then their perception of DID could very easily be influenced by the fact that they've misdiagnosed many of their dissociative patients with psychotic disorders.

3. People with DID want their alters gone

I'm going to note that the title is my interpretation. They don't clearly say this. They just say that people with DID want to finish the job and cure it. But the way they talk about alters strongly leaves this impression.

I absolutely think it's true that most people with DID don't want to have a disorder.

But many would like to pursue healthy multiplicity.

And I'd like to point again at the table in the above study. When participants were asked if they would miss their voices if they stopped, a massive 69% answered that they would. That's a huge majority of DID systems in that study.

4. Complex DID

There is actually a certain level of truth to this one too. Complex-DID is not an official diagnosis, and HC-DID is a community term that can be a bit misleading because it sounds like a clinical term. (Similar issue with emotional amnesia.)

Having said that... this is a really silly way to go about this...

"Complex" as an adjective means that something is complicated. It's not the same as the noun "complex." Having a "complex disorder" would never be related to "having a complex."

Might as well try to convince your student that they're claiming to be an apartment complex.

I would suggest both they and their student take an English class.

Anyway, while HC-DID isn't a medical term and C-DID isn't an official diagnosis, I suspect "complex DID" likely comes from this paper.

5.) The Flight or Flight Reaction

Remember, if you make someone with a dissociative disorder angry, they'll always run away because they're literally incapable of fighting back. If they do argue with you fakeclaiming them, then that PROVES they were faking all along.

Never mind that not every instance of people being upset with you on the internet and calling you our for harmful behavior is because they're triggered. (In the traumatic sense.)

Never mind that "Fight" is a natural reaction to trauma when it is triggered.

Never mind that people who might normally run away were it something triggering you said to just them may engage because they don't want your words harming other people. /s

Anyway, yeah... this is a really gross blog from a very ableist and uninformed therapist, filled to the brim with misinformation, and I would highly advise people ignore it.

#syscourse #system discourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #sysblr #multiplicity #psychiatry #psychology #therapy #mental health #ableism #sanism #psych critical #systems #system #tw fakeclaiming

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joviantwelve · 1 year

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a story about video game preservation

The original reason I was interested in the GB Operator is because my Pokemon GSC cartridges had their CMOS batteries die, so the saves disappeared along with the clock functionality. Thankfully, this does not extend to every GB game I own (besides Pokemon Yellow, which I have no idea how that one corrupted, RIP), but I do know that, in general, physical media can't last forever, so I've been interested in how to preserve the rest of what I own...

Now that I have the Operator, this has all been done, but this was not without the terrible tragedy of the aforementioned Pokemon games. I've been with Pokemon since RBY, but GSC is when it felt like a truly huge phenomenon, when I'd chat up random kids and trade with them, etc...

...and more importantly, when I'd start fudging things a little, and cheat. Shh.

This is where our story begins.

During those RBY days, I was vaguely aware of kids using Gamesharks and whatever to hack their teams and Pokedex. I'm fairly certain one of my elementary school friends was doing just that--he'd trade me max level starters, Dragonites, even Mew, etc., when I knew, reasonably, that it didn't make sense he had all of these. There was no breeding yet!! How did he convince someone else to give up their own starter Pokemon?! I never asked him about it, and he moved away, but it's always been in the back of my mind.

Fast forward a couple years after GSC came out. I'm like 11. I see this thing at GameStop:

The Pelican BrainBoy. This is my own photo from today. I have dug this out just for you. (NOTE: The "colorizer" button was so you could apply your own custom palettes into GB games, which was a pretty cute feature, looking back.)

This baby basically let you do anything to Pokemon RBY/GSC, at least as far as Pokemon were concerned. You could modify anything--nicknames, gender, EXP, movesets, etc. It was especially funny throwing the results into Pokemon Stadium and seeing Pokemon Fly or Surf that normally couldn't.

I usually played it pretty low-key though, just marking my Pokedex as complete and raising my 'mons to level 100, because fuck grinding. Reading up about this thing at present though, and I hear stories of people hacking Pokemon to distribute at recess for all their friends...lmao. Why didn't I do any of that?!

I always regretted the Pokedex bit, though, since that wasn't something you could take back. I was really proud of completing all 151 in Blue (though with the help of said suspect-of-cheating friend above), and never had the patience to fill a Pokedex in any game again. Even if I had thrown that challenge out, I still kind of wish I had like…the organic proof of how far I had gotten. Oh well!

(The site does not lead anywhere nowadays. I just checked.)

Anyway, this shit looked absolutely ugly already, but it looks doubly ugly jutting out of a GBA SP. The GB cart goes in upside-down on the other side of the device, creating a monstrosity basically as long and as thick as the SP itself.

I hadn't actually touched the BrainBoy since RSE came out. There was no need to. I had long lost my GSC saves, which still stung. There was still a lot of "me" left behind there. Gold was when I first built a team using entirely what I liked aesthetically, whereas in RBY I was mostly following what seemed the coolest and most powerful. Even though I hacked the Pokedex, the Pokemon in my PC were still all ones I caught organically. I even caught my first shiny, a Spearow! (It only looked one shade different, back then, and I was so disappointed I never evolved it.) Crystal and Silver were more my "anything goes" carts, where I did the majority of my goofy tinkering.

After the batteries died, the only evidence of these games were my teams that I had imported into Pokemon Stadium 2. In some ways it made it hurt more, since the personal decorated bedroom also showed up there after importing a game.......I really loved that feature, lmao. All of that was now just a reminder of nostalgic times I can't even revisit for funsies.

I boot the BrainBoy partially because I want to see if the GB Operator can back it up (it can't; it just detects the cart attached to it), and also to hear the absolutely asinine, obnoxious menu music that bored its way into my brain back then.

God I did not miss that menu music.

But then I notice something.

Huh?

(anime girl voice) EEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!??!?

Oh god, I didn't remember this feature at all! Please please please let 11 year old me be as smart as I hope she is PLEASE--

OUGHAURYGHUHARGHHUHRJHUAYRH JACKPOT

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE?!

At this point I am basically screaming. All along, my prodigal save file was hiding away in some cheat device I bought on a whim 20 years ago. I had previously contemplated throwing out the BrainBoy MULTIPLE TIMES, since I had no use for it anymore.

BUT I GUESS. I DID ACTUALLY HAVE A USE FOR IT. I JUST. FORGOT?

Honestly, it's likely I just didn't even think of it as a backup device, and used the feature exactly once, just because it was there. I had no idea the clock batteries running out meant the death of your save. I didn't even know those carts had special batteries. I was just here to hack Mew and Celebi into my games. It's no wonder I forgot about it.

I have no idea when these save snapshots were taken, but they seem to have everything I remember. I wasn't really fucking around with my Gold cart until after I beat Red, at least.

Of course, the battery still being dead in the cart means that it doesn't "stick" and still can't be backed up (since turning off the console to put the cart in the GB Operator nukes it), but this is so much more than I ever expected to see again. Like, an actual fucking time capsule. These Pokemon could never escape the GB era; meanwhile, Pokemon from RSE and up could still exist in a game today. It just never felt quite fair to let RBY/GSC be subjected to a slow death of dead batteries and bit rot.

What a surprise this turned out to be!!

And the biggest surprise of all:

I had no idea I nicknamed my first shiny. Her name is Shinygirl.......I kind of got emotional. Shinygirl...!! 😭😭😭

WELL THEN.

I immediately ordered the special kind of screwdriver you need to open up a GB cartridge. Going to pop some fresh batteries in, flash the save through the BrainBoy, and finally preserve these forever!

Moral of the story...always check things before you consider throwing them out. One last time can't hurt.

PS: Pokemon Yellow also had a backup, which is great, because as I said before, I have no idea how that cart erased itself. Maybe I accidentally powered off while saving or something?? But it has no fiddly clock battery, so the cart's holding my save again.

PPS: If you're still here, behold! The Operator also has preserved my old GB Camera pics, which was also shocking to me, because that's another cart I thought erased itself:

????!?!??!?!?!?!??!???!??? We HAD digital cameras...but I deliberately took vacation photos of Yellowstone with the GB Camera, because I was 12 and that's what 12 year olds do when they have a funny toy.

I SWEAR to GOD I distinctly remember, like around college I wanna say, digging out the GB Camera, wanting to revisit that, and being devastated because there were no photos in the gallery. And yet here they are. I didn't even do anything. Magic.

Thank you GB Operator. Thank you Pelican BrainBoy. Wow.

#text #irl #pokemon tag

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justatidalwaveoffeelings · 1 year

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NOVEMBER 19TH

Sometime after united we spy- Joe and Rachel facing Matt's birthday without him. Sad fluff. I hope yall like it!

The knock at the door was quick and concise. Before Rachel had a chance to answer Joe stepped into her office. It had been a busy day at the Gallagher academy. Rachel had been trying to get a head count on how many girls would be staying over the brief break for Thanksgiving and Joe was cooking up the hardest semester final he could think of. He kept telling her that he had "a reputation to uphold of being the scariest teacher."

If they were being honest it was just a distraction. They had barely spoken since they had awoken that morning, it was a quick check-in, a quick kiss and off to work. Neither of them had to much to say on days like this.

"How are you doing?" Joe asked her.

How was she doing? She shuffled some paperwork on her desk and gave a brisk "I'm fine, Joe."

She didn't want to talk about it right then. She had things she wanted to do before she mentally checked out for the day. She needed at least another two hours of the work day.

"So, you don't want to talk about it"? He asked with a small smile.

"I've got things to do here. It's not easy to run an entire school. I don't know if you've ever heard anyone say it's easy being married to one of your teachers because let me tell you it's not!" It's--

"It's harder to run away from feeling things when best friend and husband makes you think about them?" He cut her a look that said he knew that she was distracting herself, and that it was ok.

He sat down at the desk in front of her. Watching her, waiting.

"I'm not running, I've got other things to think about why is that not okay?!"

He suddenly looked tired. "It's totally fine. I dont want to make you feel anything, I just wanted to check in on you. See if we could eat dinner, just the two of us? On days like today it's normally something we do."

She didn't respond right away. She didn't want to tear up or talk about it. She had to make sure that 41, 42? Girls had guidance, food and warm beds to stay in. Matt wouldn't want her to brush them off.

"I know. I know. I just..... I just need to do this, ok?" She sounded upset. They locked eyes for what felt like way too long.

He stood up slowly and told her that he was going to be upstairs in their little staff quaters apparement. That when she was done he'd hope she'd join him. He walked over, kissed her on the top of the head and walked out of her office without another word.

She felt terrible. The second Joe left she felt like she screwed up, and badly. Yes, he was checking on her but not 3 minutes had passed when she realized that he might have needed her. Not only was she being plagued by her first husband's death but she was also very concerned that she had hurt her now husband. She looked back down at her paperwork and suddenly felt tears prick her eyes. She had been so focused on avoiding her own feelings about Matt's birthday that she had inadvertently shut out everyone else.

As she started to lock her office door she called Abby. She got her voice-mail. Not a huge surprise to Rachel but she left a message anyways. She hoped, gosh, she couldn't believe she was even thinking this, that Agent Towsend was with her. She wasnt sure how much sympathy he would lend but she was certain that he loved her. As long as Abby wasn't alone today.

She didn't knock on their door, she just stepped into the small living space that she and Joe now shared.

The lights were on and there was a wonderful smell coming from the tiny kitchen. She called out "Joseph?" There was no response. She walked through the tiny living room kitchen combo and opened the door to their bedroom.

He was sitting at the small desk in the corner with the desk lamp on. He had a bunch of papers spread out and he was reading. Both his journal and Matthew's. He didn't look up as he said

"so you decided to join me finally? That was barely 10 minutes, your normally more stubborn than that."

She couldn't take it anymore. She teared up and sat on the edge of the bed. Hearing her sit he turned around to face her. She was still staring at the baseboard when she spoke.

"I'm so sorry. I should have just told you that I'm upset and that I'm not doing well. I miss him so much. I.... I just... I really miss him and to add to that I was so flippant about how you were feeling. I didn't even think"...She started to choke on her tears and before she knew it she was just crying.

Joe moved from the desk and sat beside her on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. They sat like that for a few minutes until Rachel's tears started to subside.

"I'm so sorry, Joe"

He backed away a little bit to look her in the eye.

"It's ok, Rach"

"No, it really isn't. I know you miss him too and what's worse is you take it in a personal way cause..."

He became serious and removed his arms from around her waist.

"Because I what? Was involved in pulling him into this. Because the wrong guy went to Rome that day?"

She looked at him squarely, saw the tears just behind his eyes that she knew he wouldn't let fall. She reached out and put her hand on his jaw. Tilting it down to really look at her.

"Because you think it's somehow your fault"

He lightly sniffed and started to stand but she was expecting this maneuver and was quick to pull him to her.

He was a little stiff so she continued,

"We have been over this before, wise guy. I know the entire story start to finish. In no way shape or form do I think you're responsible. Abby doesn't think it's your fault. Cammie doesn't think it's your fault. I love you. I know you. I dont want you to carry it with you all the time.

I also know, she said with a small laugh, that I have said all of this before in greater detail and you're still too stubborn to listen."

He whispered a barely audible "I know. On days like today....."

"Ya days like today can really suck but I have you. Thank you, by the way."

"For being miserable with you? Ya, ok there Ace."

He was starting to tease. That's good.

"I love you, Joe."

"I love you more".

She couldn't help herself. So she said "actually you know what I might love more than you? Whatever it is your cooking right now. I haven't eaten since breakfast and that smells amazing."

"It's a casserole and chocolate cake"

"I was so smart to remarry a man that could cook. Chocolate cake, huh? Matthew's favorite."

He chuckled as he kissed her softly. When he kissed her like that, they could forget what day it was just for a minute.

The timer went off for whatever was in the oven. Joe went to the kitchen and Rachel walked to the desk. She cleaned up the pile of papers. She put the journals in the top drawer and she looked at the photo on their desk. Matt, Joe, Abby and Rachel, holding a very tiny Cameron. She smiled softly.

Wait. Cammie.

"Joe, I didn't reach out to cammie today."

"I'm sure it's fine hon, she's in Prague with Zach. They are working. They'll keep eachother safe. He'll distact her."

"I know, but I wanted to say something to her. Its too late in Prague now."

He looked at her half amused and half guilty.

"Would now be a good time or a bad time to admit I used the dead drop saying that I hoped she was doing ok, we love her, that we both missed Matt too and that he would be really too proud of her?"

"Wait. You did?"

"Ya, you were so quiet about it all day that I wrote to her and signed both our names. I hope that's ok."

She laughed "ya, thats more than ok. Thank you"

The rest of their night was spent peacefully. Each switching between being reminiscent of the good things and shaken up by the loss. That's how November 19th normally passed.

As they laid in bed, Joe started playing with her hair she couldn't help but thinking that today was hard but that it was nothing compared to the days when they spent them apart. At least they still had each other to lean on and to miss Matthew together. November 20th was always a much easier day for both of them she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

#joe/rachel #gallagher girls #matt morgan #poor kids #sad day #fluff

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femmefatalevibe · 10 months

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Hello FemmeFataleVibe! I have a question for you: how does a woman reconcile her sexuality and being a high value woman (HVW)? Are there certain desires or kinks a HVW should not have? What is the appropriate protocol in regard to disclosing past relationships or lack thereof to a suitor/dating prospect?

Hi love! Fun question. I believe that part of being a HVW is fully accepting, exploring, and owning your sexuality without any shame but understanding the importance of discretion in the public eye.

While any sexual preferences and (protected) consensual encounters, regardless of age, frequency, number of partners (lower or higher), etc., you prefer or decide to act on are morally neutral, it is best to keep these personal details to yourself along with your closest friends, a therapist, trusted mentors (could be a mom, aunt, or big sister figure), and partners on a need-to-know basis because this information can be used against you if in the wrong hands. Also, being crass – like being close-minded about sexuality and sexual preferences – reads as a sign of immaturity and/or insecurity.

Everyone has the right to the privacy of their own mind. So, I believe it is essential to accept your desires as they are. You cannot control what arouses you past a certain degree. The important thing is to know what desires are ethical to act on or in your best interest to share with others. I believe that any kinks outside of the ones where consent is not possible (involving children, animals, corpses, etc. – these are sick fantasies that require mental health treatment and, as far as I know, are not acceptable within kink communities), it is essential as a HVW to discern whether you find a particular kink(s) to be sexually gratifying or if they're rewarding purely because they satisfy a partner's desires (or perceived desires) and offer you a sense of external validation. While I don't identify as a radical feminist, I do agree with their philosophy on how the mainstream porn industry has negatively impacted how we approach sex and sexuality. The violence portrayed and its sole focus on male pleasure that it conditions (especially young) people to believe is the "right" or socially-acceptable way to engage with sex and their sexuality is concerning. Normalizing nonconsensual choking, face slapping, and anal sex are vile things to promote in society. With that being said, I don't think kink-shaming is necessary if two consenting adults (or older teens) discuss what they (genuinely) like and don't like and act according with respect to each others' boundaries.

I believe that discussing past relationships (or lack thereof) with a new partner should not be done upfront and on a need-to-know basis. Your first in-person meeting with a partner (whether it's a casual activity, coffee date, dinner, sexual encounter, etc.) should be focused on establishing the connection between you two and seeing if there's potential/compatibility there. If a new suitor asks about your relationship history very early on (let's say 1-3 meetings or a month into a new relationship), I think it's best to provide a truthful, high-level answer to the question such as: "My most recent relationship was a serious 2-year relationship ended 1 year ago, since that relationship ended, I've been learning about myself to determine what I'm looking for in an ideal partner/compatible lover." Even if you've never had an official relationship or long-term partner, know that if you have a good track record of sustained friendships (and especially if you have previous sexual experiences), you have all of the ingredients necessary for a romantic partnership. Don't stress about formalities. You have relationship experience, just a different type of relationship experience. Every partner and relationship is different, so we're all learning as we go through life anyways.

Anyone who feels the need to ask detailed questions about your past relationships upfront is a huge red flag. The same goes for anyone who talks about their exes right away and elaborates or dwells on the details of their relationship (this person is definitely not over their ex, lol). Your sexual history is no one's business outside of asking for negative test results and/or discussing exclusivity. Preferences, though, should be discussed once intimacy is in the immediate future.

Hope this helps xx

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emsylcatac · 2 years

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Separating the two amoks so that if someone got their hands on them, it'd only be ONE of them at a time, is a good point, but... I still really don't like the idea of Marinette holding onto one of Adrien's amoks permanently. Under normal circumstances, I think she'd be pretty firmly against using one of Adrien's amoks against him, but I think there are circumstances right now where she might spiral hard enough that those ethical concerns go out the window.

I keep coming back to Ephemeral, and her plan to circumvent needing Chat's consent to reveal his identity to someone else, since she wasn't certain that he'd agree to reveal his identity to anyone but her, and she thought that informing Su Han of Chat's identity was the best option. I'm worried that if another situation arises where she's convinced that some course of action is for the best, for the greater good, and that she's not completely certain that Adrien would agree, that she might compel him to comply.

It also makes their relationship wildly power-imbalanced, with Marinette having the ability to control, and maybe even kill Adrien, even if she never actually used it.

I almost chose to ignore this and not answer because I didn't ask for this much Marinette salt and misconception of her character in my ask box (and don't try to pass it off as "critics", with what you're implying here it really isn't), but since you're not the 1st I hear saying all this, I'll bite

There's really a huge difference between tricking someone into something (and I'm grossly simplifying the situation there) by lying to them by omission, and actively knowingly controlling someone through a source of power by taking their freewill entirely.

Yeah, Marinette messed up in Ephemeral. Yeah, there were circumstances that made it understandable because of the pressure she was in. It's in no way proof that she'd turn Adrien into a puppet for the greater good like you say.

The 2 times Marinette got the opportunity to control a sentimonster through an amok that I recall were these :

Ladybug, when she got sentibug's amok that she refused to break. She could 1000% have used it for the greater good (because hey, being able to control someone with the exact same power as you without the fear of loosing your miraculous and being able to stay further from the enemy is a damn good opportunity), but she categorically refused to do so and immediately gave the amok back to sentibug, asking her to help them but leaving her with this choice. She specifically told her she wouldn't control her

Sentibubbler, when she ordered Sentibubbler to lower the bubbles with people inside to the ground, aka for security reasons & to save these people. You bet that if it was a matter of saving people she would not need to control Adrien for that and that he'd do it on his own lol

So if you think she'd ever entertain the idea of controlling her partner/best friend/love of her life, even if she's panicked and even if she thinks he might not agree, it's having a very low esteem of her character. Controlling Adrien for one's own need and if Adrien disagrees is Gabriel's thing. Not Marinette's.

And you bet that once the whole sentimonster thing is revealed with Gabriel's misuse of the rings, Marinette will never ever want to control Adrien. Implying she would after that, even for the greater good, is bordering on all these "Marinette is kinda acting like Gabriel when it comes to Adrien even though it's for a better goal" horrible takes and I cannot hear that

You're also talking about this as if Strike Back didn't happen and Marinette didn't realise the bad it caused to lie to Chat Noir this season, and as if the show isn't purposefully placing them in the conflict we've seen them having so they can both grow out of it.

Once again, it's a matter of trust, and as I said Adrien would still be in control of one of his amok. There's no reason to have a power imbalance if Adrien choses to entrust Marinette with it because he trust her to not use it against him and to keep it safe and he knows she's the best person to be trusted with it. As for the last part, I don't know how to break it down to you that I too technically have the ability to kill someone if I wanted to and I don't need an amok for that 🤫

It's totally understandable to not enjoy & be uncomfortable with the idea of someone else possessing one of the ring and be worried about it, but the justifications you're giving are just not it - especially when it's about a post-S4 conflict Strike Back, post-reveal, post-hawkmoth reveal and post-sentidrien reveal Marinette

Anyway if I haven't convinced you and you want to keep on proving your point that Marinette could still want to control Adrien in a reblog go ahead but I don't think I'll continue this conversation because we're not gonna agree here and I don't wish to see nor seek more salt on her character

#ask #flightfoot #sorry if I sound harsh but the whole 'she'd throw ethical concern out the window'#& '*widely* power imbalanced relationship' kinda made my eyes go wide #ml fandom salt #sentimonster!adrien

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 8 months

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Hi, looking for advice, reassurance, and positive words. TW for vague mentions of medical stuff, symptoms, and meds (nothing specific).

I have very bad health anxiety. The symptom or illness I obsess over changes, I'll go through phases where I think I have one thing, then another. Lately a huge trigger for me has been seeing people talk about how certain medications I take for physical and mental health are "bad" and I start freaking out even though they're either prescribed to me or they are over the counter meds my doctor approved of, and I don't abuse anything I take.

I went for a while without having a doctor because of an insurance issue I was having, and now that I do have a doctor, it's possible that I can talk about different treatment options or see if I can get referred to a therapist again since a lot of my conditions are triggered or worsened by stress. But I'm not scheduled to see him again for a long time and in the meantime, I constantly get stuck in "catastrophe loops" where I'm thinking things like, "I ruined my life by accepting these meds, I should've never taken them, I've made my life worse" even though that's a huge exaggeration.

I would also like to add that it's been hard for me to integrate lifestyle changes that would potentially help with my health conditions. For example, I know exercise helps, everyone says that, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment when I complete exercise goals, but because of my mental health I will struggle to go on walks, and then sitting indoors all day makes me overly vigilant of physical symptoms, and it's just this annoying cycle where mental and physical health symptoms feed off each other. I also have a very hard time sticking to habits like meditation even though meditation benefits me a lot too and also makes me feel accomplished when I'm able to stick to it. Also, I have gone through times when self-care has been really hard for me thanks to factors like university, work, family issues, and other things making my life unstable.

Lately, I am going through an unstable past few days full of high stress because of family stuff, even though I felt like I was doing better this month, and not having as many physical symptoms until recently. So now that I've been getting physical symptoms again and taking the meds that address the symptoms, I sort of view it as a setback (even after going for the beginning of the month without experiencing the symptoms or taking meds, and felt like I'd been making some progress in regards to coping).

Like I said before, I can't stop thinking that I've ruined everything or that I'm wrecking my health and other extremely catastrophic thoughts. It gets so bad to the point where I'll genuinely spend all day fixated on these thoughts, I give myself anxiety attacks that last for hours, I struggle with sleeping at night every night, I panic that people around me will shame me for taking meds, and I feel kind of sad that I can't be someone "normal" without these health conditions. Plus, I put a lot of blame on myself due to what I said before about mental health making physical health worse, and vice versa. It's a nightmare, it feels like hell, it's just horrible and I feel hopeless. No one around me understands what I'm going through and I just really need some help with breaking out of this loop. Like I said, I am planning on maybe working on this with a doctor but it will be a while until I can see him again, plus I want some suggestions for stuff I can do on my own too. Can you give me some coping advice and reassurance? Thank you.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been dealing with. It sounds incredibly exhausting to constantly worry about your health, and feel like no one takes your concerns nearly as seriously as you feel they should. It sounds like there are multiple facets that contribute to your distressing thoughts.

Some people who experience health anxiety to this degree may be dealing with Health OCD, which can look like a vicious cycle of thoughts concerning your health, seeking medical treatment, and leaving unsatisfied. People who experience this may ask themselves questions like, "What if I am ill but no one can figure it out because there isn’t a name for it?" or "How do I know that I am not developing an illness that has not been detected?" Compulsions can look like getting multiple opinions both professional and not, excessively checking your body, or catastrophizing google results. While this is not a diagnosis of any kind, if this is something that resonates with you, it might be worth discussing with a professional who can accurately assess whether or not this applies to you.

As someone with OCD and intrusive thoughts, something that helps me is to try and reframe my thoughts. So if I get a thought that worries about my health or safety in some way, I remind myself that, while dysfunctional, this is a way that my brain is looking out for me and wants to make sure I am healthy and/or safe, and then I continue with whatever I was doing. This can be easier said than done and takes practice. Self care can also be incredibly useful, whether that's treating yourself or doing something you enjoy.

Ultimately, if you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can work with you to explore these concerns and come up with some healthy coping strategies tailored to your needs and experiences.

Life itself is a risk and to ruminate about risks is to miss life. If anyone has any additional comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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signorin-anarchia · 2 years

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What do you think the age difference between Martin, Sergio and Rafael?

Premise: since the show never gave us any real clue about the characters' ages, except confused and contradictory hints, this is both based on speculations and my own headcanon.

It took me a while to figure everything out, but I hope this is an accurate enough prospect.

So, let's start with Andrés.

I clearly remember his age in the show being addressed when the police showed his files & his mugshot.

I did a quick online research and it turned out that, according to them, he was born on 7/04/1975, which would make him only 41 during the Mint heist.

I'm almost sure that at some point Piña just decided to ignore his own canon and pretend that Andrés was more around Pedro's age (who's born in 1975).

This for several reasons, mostly concerning coherency and his significant others: Rafael's own existence, his long-standing friendship for Martin, and last but not least, the spinoff, where after all they can't make Pedro look like a teen.

Even like that, continuity issues are not fully solved - but we'll discuss about them in a while.

Now, Sergio.

Searching online, there are no evidences about his real age. This is partly justified in the show, stating that "he has stopped renewing is ID at the age of 19", so it's pretty normal not to have this kind of information about him.

The only guessing we can make is based on his father's death: according to Money Heist Wiki, Jesus Marquina was shot on 5/02/1987.

Sergio was arguably 9 or 10 back then (even though the kid actor who plays him physically looks around 12 - he's tall for his age and even has a hint of beard).

That would mean that he and Andres only have 2 years apart, which honestly doesn't make sense at all to me.

They've always acted around eachother like they had a huge age gap, maybe even a decade, which is also my own headcanon when writing fics. I've always liked the idea of Andrés taking care of Sergio when he was a kid, it gives us a hint of humanity among all the character's shades, and above all, it's also what they seem implying in the show most of the time.

Why call "little brother" a sibling who's around your age? Why mention that Andrés raised him after their parents death? And how will they justify Sergio's absence in the spinoff if he's already an adult?

So, even though the timeline looks quite messy here, I like to think that Sergio & Andrés have a certain age difference. Once again, if you think of it, everything can be cleared up assuming that when he dies, Andrés is in fact in his late 40s.

Third, Martín.

We know nothing about him, nor his age, nor his birthday date, nor anything about his past. The guy's literally a ghost before we got to know him in S3, and in a couple of scenes/lines we even hear the police wondering who he is, which proves that he's probably a clean record.

For some reason, the Wiki claims he's in his late 30s, but that's probably speculation since I can't remember a single statement about his age in the show.

We could assume that he's maybe around Rodrigo age (born in 1976), so 42 during the Bank heist.

Ultimately, my own headcanon is that he's almost certainly younger than Andrés, but maybe a little older than Sergio.

Of course this doesn't make much sense if we keep taking for granted that Sergio is only 2 years younger that Andrés, but like I said, I'm more and more convinced that this was a continuity error and Andrés is older than what previously stated.

And now, the sore spot: Rafaél.

We're forced, here, to rely on the hints featured in the promo pre-s5, where it's clearly stated that the guy is 33.

I like to think - just because that works better narratively speaking - that he's 33 only during the Bank heist, which makes him 28-29 around the Copenhagen heist.

The real matter here is his age gap with Andrés: once again, if we keep assuming that he was 41 when he died, that would mean that he became a father at the age of 11.

Like... No. Just no.

And even assuming that the character is Pedro's age, so 4 years older, makes no sense at all: 15 still looks like a very young age to get "married" - like he implied he was - and I'm almost sure that a minor would face several major issues trying to get married underage.

Andrés also mentions an affair with his french teacher when he was 18, so he definitely finished the school and wasn't married at the time.

He must've been at least 19 to meet and get pregnant Rafael's mother, which means that they're almost two decades apart.

In conclusion, if we think it over, the only way all of this vaguely makes sense is assuming that when he died, Andrés was at least 50 (Pedro's age when they were filming).

That would make Sergio 40 and Martin maybe 43-44 - the timeline is plausible to me.

Final Warning: this whole over-analysis could be affected by the fact that I'm a sucker for fics where kid!Sergio is raised by youngadult!Andrés.

What can I do? Give me my wrecked siblings and no one'll get hurt.

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ainatsuu · 9 months

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Prev | Masterlist | Next

Chapter One

The anonymous agent

Who are you?

Present

The aromatic scent of the freshly brewed coffee and a little song played on the radio were enough for Minhae to get a little bit of peace from the busy life she was in. She hummed one or two songs in her head until the buzz coming from the little pager in her hand signalling that her peace had come to an end.

Although that day seems to be so peaceful for Minhae. Not getting caught in public, no spilled coffee like the other day, no noisy people in the street and no creepy stalker in her way. Other people would kill to get a peaceful day like that but for her, it was bad luck. A rare day like this would usually come with a greater chaos.

Well, she would still enjoy the day because only a day like this she would choose to freely show her face in the public. Only a day like this she would feel least worried although you never know what will happen later. For the first time in a while, there's smile on her face, her body felt light and her steps felt like its not touching the ground. But good things always last just for a while.

It stopped the moment her feet touched the company's ground. The guard ran to her like they have been waiting for her and that made her smiles faltered. Something bad must have happened.

"Am I late?"

"No, Miss Minhae. Director instructed me to accompany you to the meeting room. Let's go." Deep in Minhae's heart, she knew that the guard was not guarding her for nothing. The company was supposed to be the safest place for their artist to work. Why would they guard her in her own nest if it was nothing?

Once she reached the door of the meeting room, she took a deep breath before pulling the door with a distant heart. The room felt as if someone had dropped a bomb that would explode at any time. No one dare to break the silent until Director Kun did it himself.

"I'm just going to tell you straight to the point. Yesterday morning, Hana had witnessed something she shouldn't see. A murder. So, she had become the primary witness of the case. Since the murderer had not been caught, Hana is in a great danger. And that's include the others." Director Kun said with a heavy voice. To say that everyone was scared was an understatement. One could never underestimate a murderer who was on the run.

Without anyone noticing, Minhae pulled out her phone to take note of the start of the story. Even though the book disappeared, her memory don't and Minhae dreaded this day the most. She never thought this day would ever come.

"So, I hired three agents to be with the three of you. They will come around this evening. I hope you all will not wonder around until they come, okay?" All they could do was nodded to the director's instruction as this was about life and death. However, Minhae looked at the director shocked to hear that all three of them would get an agent each.

"Although it concerned the three of you, I can only hire the agent for Hana as she is most likely the main target." Director Kun said.

"Okay, you are dismissed." He walked out of the room with a huge sigh. Losing his precious artist by death was never on his list in his entire carrier.

The meeting room were left with an uncomfortable silent as they pondered on what was happening. Minhae scanned both of her members' face as she too felt a little bit overwhelmed. Although with a different reason from the others.

She was more confused on why the storyline would change. Or was it her memory that failed her? Even so, nothing could be certain when the story had just started.

Other than that, to say that Minhae felt concern for her members was an understatement. Hana looked gloomy rather than scared probably putting all the blame on herself when it was never her fault to begin with. While Dana, her other member looked scared like normal human would do in this kind of situation.

After a few minutes, they headed to the practice room with complete silence with only the footsteps can be heard. No one dare to say anything until Hana started to speak right after they safely made it to the practice room.

"I'm sorry girls, for putting all of you in this situation. I'm a very bad leader." She said with her head hanging low. No one could possibly explain how heavy her heart was from all the blaming she put on herself. Minhae sighed to herself and gave Hana the hug she seriously needed even though it was never enough to wash any of the bad thought away.

Minhae too, could never imagine how it was to be in Hana's shoes but at least, she understands how foreign and scared it may be. Hana had never chosen to be the main character.

"It's not your fault that you've seen such a gruesome sight. Don't beat yourself up because of it." Minhae assured Hana and that made a smile formed in her face.

"Don't think about it too much. Let's practice." Dana said. The shocked had fully gotten into her but she was not strong enough to assure herself, let alone to assure others.

All of them except Minhae seems to be in their own world. No one had imagined to ever be in this rare situation that would only happen in a novel.

But Minhae knew and believe that nothing bad would happen to any of them. They will finally go back to how it used to be.

They practiced by themselves until the clock stroke 12 in the afternoon. That was until their manager, June and three other people came into the practice room. Seeing that the agents that the director had hired had finally came, made almost all of them sighed in relieved.

Except Minhae whose face had shown that she looked rather shocked than relieved. Although no one noticed the looked on her face.

"Okay, girls. From now on these three guys will be your personal bodyguard." Minhae scanned the faces of the three people. Although she only read about them, she felt like she knew how their face would look like. Except that one guy that had never appeared in the storyline.

"Agent Cao Yuchen. I will be guarding Miss Hana." Agent Yuchen said with a cheeky smile. Minhae scanned his whole appearance and nodded approvingly.

"Agent Moon Chani, will be guarding Miss Dana." This time, Minhae only looked at him for a glimpse as she felt like someone was staring at her.

"Agent Ahn Yuri, guarding Miss Minhae." He gave Minhae a sweet smile which she just nodded awkwardly.

She had prepared herself for the past three years to meet new faces that would be in their life. However, that one guy with a name she did not know of scared her.

She could only wondered why the storyline would change. What was the function of giving her the heads up on what would happen in the future when it didn't even happen the way it supposed to happen.

"Okay I think that's all for introduction. You going to be free all evening. So, see you tomorrow!" June said with a bright face. Other people would mistaken that he just wins a lottery with that smile of his.

"Do you want to get lunch?" Hana awkwardly asked when June had left the room. Dana agreed happily while Minhae felt hesitant about it.

"Watch out!"

"Shield them from the bullet!" The agents had flipped the table to use it as a shield, covering all of them. Now they know, the murderer was not just an individual. But rather a group of people.

Minhae knew what would happen later although she was not so sure this time. But she wanted to put her theory to the test. She wanted to see whether the attack would happen if she was not going to be there.

"I have something to do in my studio. You two can go." Minhae said, earning a nod from Hana and Dana. She felt relieved that they did not ask anything until she remembered that now, she need to be alone with Agent Yuri which she did not think it through. She could only blame herself if Agent Yuri turned out to be the secret villain of this story.

Along the way to her studio, no one said anything. Minhae with her own thought while Agent Yuri just being professional doing his own work.

Entering Minhae's workplace, Agent Yuri scanned the whole room in awe. The room smelt sweet, and the arrangement suit Minhae the most. Simple but pretty.

Without, Agent Yuri noticing, Minhae looked at him from the reflection of her computer. Although Agent Yuri was an agent, one could never confirm if he was a villain or just a side character. On the inside, Minhae felt as if she was going to die anytime soon. Even when Agent Yuri did not give the vibe of a villain. For now, she just going to put a distance between them. Just to be careful.

Only the song fills the silence between them and Minhae thought it was better that way. She used to it. Although time to time she would spare a glance to him. He would sit there with a serious face and observed anything she do. The silence went on until his phone rang.

The attack.

#dejavu #seominhae #idol #wattpad #series #book #original character #character gained conscious

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 9 months

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Hey I usually don't message people on this app but I'm just concerned because of what people have been saying/doing to you. I used to write for Game of thrones on Wattpad a long time ago before I decided to delete my book and I wanted to write on here but was always nervous of something like what you're going through happening to me because I know how people tend to get when someone is making fanfics on certain characters. I just wanted to say that you have been the best writer for Daemon on Tumblr or anywhere else in my opinion!! I feel that what you wrote about the characters and how you write them is just fine and not all that different from what George R.R Martin originally wrote. People like to point out the flaws in characters a lot but at the same time like them and it sounds like you ran into some of those people who are taking it way out of proportion. It's bothering me that other people are giving certain people shit for liking Daemon when they themselves in the past probably liked a toxic character like Ramsay, Joffery, or Jaime or someone else not even from this same fandom. Honestly those type of people are the ones who make everything toxic for everyone in the fandom and it increases when they start to encourage the bullying of other people and their works or also stealing works. Another thing I would like to say is that it's like people forget that this is set in a fantasy land that basically is set up like the hierarchy of medieval times so of course there is going to incest and other taboo subjects that come into play. Also, you aren't racist, I haven't seen any racist shit in any of your writing and whoever said that is making a huge fucking reach especially since didn't you recently stick up for POC writers and readers? I know this message is long but you're one of my favorite writers and people. I don't really interact with your blog other than hearting stuff because I am shy online just as I am in real life but when I see people being stupid towards other people it makes my blood boil especially when this is supposed to be a safe place for people to relax at after a long day of normal life shit. Another thing, if you created the server then they have no reason to get pissed for getting sent out of it or blocked because of their behaviors that they refuse to take responsibility for. Some people need to grow up and take accountability for their actions and creating a new server or whatever to still talk and trash other people after being called out on those actions is not it.

Hey! Ah, thank you so much for this - I was really low when this person turned around on me (after being caught making nasty comments about my friend, no less) and tried to vaguepost about me being a racist. It was wild. She was upset that I called her out for her bullshit, so she played the race card, which was incredibly hurtful considering how I'd tried to help her out in the past. That being said, I'm more or less fine with chalking her reaction up to knee-jerk desperation after having been caught with her pants down, essentially. No one likes being found out - it's natural to get defensive when that happens, so I've decided to just move on from it. It doesn't seem like she's made any further fuss about it, so I'm just gonna leave it in the past and move on, hopefully.

I've been lucky in my fandom journey so far not to have gotten too much flack for my love for Daemon, which is super interesting. Would've thought the flames would rain down on me by this point, but nope! I've largely been blessed with some lovely people who seem to think I'm somehow worth checking out, which is so damn nice. I definitely think there's such a problem with the way fandom in general interacts. I don't know why people feel such a need to shit all over each other for their preferences all the time. It's one of the reasons I've been so quiet on here lately; I'm just so over the bullshit. It's nonstop, it seems like, and whenever one person disappears, they're replaced by three more assholes ready to make this place even worse off than before. It's so tiring. My list of friends is growing smaller and smaller by the day. My blocked list is growing and growing. Sometimes, I wonder what the hell is wrong with some of these people.

It's sucked, not gonna lie; between the bashing, the plagiarism, the calculated hate and the comm labelling, it's just... ugh. And everyone's need to 'compete' with each other? I can't even. Forgive me for being so negative, I'm just very very sick of the shit I'm encountering. I'm barely a bigger blog, too, so the fact I'm on the receiving end of even some of this is ridiculous.

If you ever felt like giving your fanfic writing another go on here, feel free to hit me up! I will go APESHIT on anyone who tries to mess around with you. I'm so done with some of these wild animals. Will slap a B if you need me too, boo xxx

#kind comments

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thenexusofsouls · 1 year

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((sdfghdgfs I figured it'd be easier to respond to that ask in a new one, just because idk how easily the notes can show up ahah

but! I also have no issue with those kinda asks! C: For me, if it were an issue, I'd either delete it, answer it myself instead of Carter, or answer it ooc and explain my issue with it. So far, that,,, hasn't really been an issue? and usually if I answer for her it's because it's a topic that would genuinely bother Carter and isn't something she really can speak about, or it's something that's just easier for me to explain ooc versus ic. Plus, I,,, don't put a whole lotta canon stock into those kinda asks? like I have no issue making those things a part of her canon (or the canon for that thread/ship), but if I were to think of it in a more "reality" sense, because,,, why would Carter listen a complete stranger? xD I feel like it would be more of a "who are you get the hell out of my house" versus her spilling her guts and/or taking their word without even questioning anything about that interaction fshjdf

and like Silence said, I also have no issue writing out of order! My thoughts don't work in a linear fashion anyway, and I really do enjoy writing things outside of linear. I like writing from point a to point h to point c, because it's fun! C: Plus, none of what we write also really needs to be considered part of our ship's main canon, so to speak. Like, any stuff involving Pietro and Carter's kid is in an au verse, rather than it being a part of their main, so we have that variety and not so much a huge commitment to that plot! I very much so enjoy winging it when I write in certain ways, and I'm not really tied to having any particular thing happen in a specific fashion

also, I do wanna say I do understands your concern, nonnie, but I can definitely assure you, for Carter at least, her feelings for Pietro and Basch were very much so her own to begin with sdfgjhdsf - Carter fell for Basch in the ikau, and since she is still herself as seen in her main verse deep down, it was easy to reflect her feelings for him in her alt main! And with Pietro, I told Silence this, but I actually meant to reply to one of her opens for Pietro's birthday a year or so ago but never did because I was worried Carter would come across as flirty. Which,,, in hindsight, she absolutely was, and that happened before the anon started sending us stuff xD Carter was definitely into him before intervention, ahah - I just tend to overthink and was worried it would come across as me trying to force a ship or something, and that goes with anytime any of muses have feelings for another x'D

but uhh yeah! I'm not at all worried or bothered by any asks we get pushing our characters to say something or know about something before they would if we just wrote it ourselves C: Like Silence said, it's a fun way to get our characters to actually do/say something they wouldn't normally approach otherwise (or would in a different manner/way later), and, like she also said, it's always something we can redo later if we wanted!

personally, I'm here to have fun and enjoy the ride, and those kinda asks just add to it xD I just feel bad for Tony who's constantly getting whiplash from 'em DFSJHGSDFJHK

{i am the caretaker of souls} @starcchild, Okay cool, I didn't want to step on any toes, but it seems like we're on the same page. Yeah, I personally like jumping around too. I figure if we're here to have fun, then we should go where our inspirations take us. Why not write any scenes we want to, however we want to, whether they're in order or not? We're not limited or bounded by things we've written before. We can always rewrite or add onto what we've already written. I've had really developed ships for some of my muses that went for years, and then one day we decided... why not start all over again as if they didn't know each other, just for the hell of it? If you love the characters and you love how they interact, then nothing is boring and nothing is a waste because it's all enjoyable.

And yeah, that's a good point too. Pietro and Basch were definitely into Carter before those asks were sent, heh. It wasn't like those ships only happened because anons forced us into it. They were going to happen anyway, heh. And a lot of times, Midge and I are talking behind the scenes about things and potential threads, and then we'll get asks that are along the same lines. Or we'll get something and one of us will be like, well I never thought about that but it's a cool idea, let's do it. So if anything, these asks only add to our overall rp experience.

Don't worry, both Midge and I are perfectly capable of saying no, or not answering something, or answering OOC if need be, regardless of the reason for us needing to do so. It could be an issue with the muse, or we just don't want to go there for some reason. Some of you may remember me refusing to answer a lot of asks for Martha on this blog a while back because they got very inappropriate, and addressing that out of character. So yeah, don't worry about us. If we want to assert ourselves or we don't like an ask, we'll let everyone know. ;)

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ

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katiehwang · 2 years

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Shinichi and his dynamic with Teitan high school's students

Okay so I get that in fanfictions, or any other fan content, the characters being a bit 'out of character' is normal, because it really depends on how everyone perceived said character from their own point of view. And I also get that sometimes, making them out of character is entirely on purpose, in order to make the setting of a certain stories possible. Like, some characters need to be more emotional for angst, some characters need to be more careless to allow for character development, and I fully support that! It's your story, so it's your own choice!

However, I'm not really fond of the popular theory, or perception, that Shinichi, in all Teitan's students perspective, is some kind of strange, cool, untouchable, freak detective. Not simply because it is unfair for him, but if you really read the manga, you would know that it has been proven wrong many times.

And like I said, I don't mind if it's just for the sake of the plot. But I don't want others to actually believe this theory is true fact in canon.

Just to be clear, the popular theory seems to say that: Shinichi, while very admirable and popular among the Teitan students, is actually very lonely and only get along with Ran (while Sonoko only tolerate him because of Ran). And while all those students admire him, they didn't want to get close to him, some due to jealousy and the huge difference in status, while others, due to him actually being cold and a freak detective.

Now shall we take a look at all the scene in manga that contradict with that theory?

Okay so let's ignore all the main characters for a second here, and look at the others. Do they look like they don't care about Shinichi? I mean I get that this isn't really a strong point, since it's normal for others to get worried about a stranger, but the fan theory that I'm addressing here really set the bar low anyway. Here, we see that they are concerned about him. They approach him in case they can help, although there was really no need for it since Shinichi was already surrounded by reliable friends. And in the second picture, they watch Shinichi as close as Heiji did. If they really see Shinichi as the cold untouchable detective, they would just at least help him when he passed out and then watch from far. They might even want to gossip about it. They don't have to watch him so closely.

And here:

I'm not sure how reliable these translations are, but I believe that the students who see him as an idol or the awesome Heisei Holmes are just students from different years and classes. It's normal to idolize people you don't know. And even so, they idolize him in a positive way didn't they? He's the 'saviour of the police force', not 'the freak detective who brings death'.

Meanwhile, the students in the same class as him, the one who really knows him, knows he's just as normal as others:

I might be reading too much into things, but the way Shinichi react to this Tashiro and Hidaka, it seems like he's been a victim of their talkative combination before. And the way they talk about Shinichi is how people normally talk about their friends. "Don't be a dumbo like him" etc.

And this:

Seriously does he look that distant with them? Do they treat him like an idol? Nakamichi don't even hesitate to run with him into chaos. Shinichi isn't different from them. If Shinichi can save others then Nakamichi can too! Not the slightest hesitation of "wait isn't that just a Kudo thing?".

And look at how Shinichi react to his friends:

He's excited to see them, to talk to them. And when they ignore him (for obvious reasons), he almost looks heartbroken. Isn't this clear enough to everyone that Shinichi is not a lone wolf who only care about Ran and cases? He have his own school life, he has his friends other than Ran and Sonoko (I really should find some evidences to prove that Sonoko did see him as a friend and not just.. tolerate him but not now), he's not perfect, he falls asleep in class, prank others, excited when there's a new attractive teacher in school, attacked by talkative gossipy classmates, teased by his friends. Really I get that we don't see much of his interaction with his other high school friends, but I think these little moments right here should be enough, don't you guys think so?

#Ahhhh sorry for the long post and not put it under the keep reading stuff #But I don't really want others to skip it #If you want to then just scroll reaallyy fast!#Oh and sorry for the quality of some picture #I took these from different websites so there's some high quality one and some bad one #This is not at all a post to insult the lovely writers who provide us with additional DC contents #And I don't think the account I follow or is following me ever make this mistakes anyway #This is just what I saw from looking up stuff on Internet #Oh BTW can we appreciate Nakamichi running in to help Shinichi #Damn he's like the Heiji of Teitan #He don't hesitate to face danger and that's so sweet of him!#And unfortunately while looking up scenes to write this stuff I've stumbled upon many memorable scenes that I want to ramble about #So... I might be posting some...? Or I might not if I have self control #Kudou Shinichi #Mouri Ran #Suzuki Sonoko #Teitan High students #Nakamichi #Is he perhaps #Nakamura Nakamichi..?#I think I saw Ran call him that once #Detective Conan

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

#troquantary #norwegian things #bella swan #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #evighetens kyss #evighetens kyss meta #evighetens kyss renessanse

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txciaz · 3 years

Text

Hi!! So,

it's my ( literal ) first time writing fanfiction, so I'm pretty new at this stuff, but Lady Dimitrescu is all I was able to think about for weeks and I >needed< to do something about it.

( If you want some context, I wrote this thinking “what if Alcina survived?” - Alcina's pov )

———

The fall,

The end of everything you once loved

Ethan Winters.

You woke up... somehow, you woke up. The frigid air hitting your fresh wounds felt like a jolt send by reality, as if one says "you're still alive" -

- and oh how you were starting to hate that feeling.

Laying on the demolished floor of your castle, muscles twitching in pain, mouth open gasping for air... that's how you are, how you will remember yourself from now on. A defeated dragon, a crushed woman, a dead mother.

You should get up, you should let go of your carcass and crawl your way back into the warmth of your home, you should—

—you should be dead, actually. Resting on death's cold embrace along with your daughters.

Daughters.

God, your daughters.

The memories flood your mind with a painful, unbearable reminder; they're gone, dead, crystalized - gone. They're gone. Your lovely daughters, your pride and joy, the main reason you'd open up your eyes in the morning...

...Bela,

Cassandra,

Daniela....

Their names are long cold, not yet forgotten - no, never forgotten - but somewhere else, as they don't belong here anymore; not on your arms, tucking them to bed. Not on your hands, caressing their faces. Not on your lips, kissing their foreheads. Not on your tongue, as you say them.

A raspy scream leaves your throat, it sounds disturbing.

You sob, hot tears trailing down your cheeks and neck, small cries for help find their way into the wind, disappearing with less importance then when they materialized.

You cannot recall for how long you stayed at that very same position, perhaps some hours, perhaps a day, but you are certain that at some point you were overcame by tiredness and collapsed - probably the best to do for now.

xxx

And so, rises the moon and the stars watch upon your limp body, the night howling a merciful wind and singing a melodic song. Grunting, you push yourself up with your elbows, sitting up and facing the sky through the hole you've made on the roof... and the levels above...

A huge carcass sits besides you, it's wings bended on itself and it's big mouth open to whoever would like to have a peek; you probably changed back into your normal body while unconscious... Now that you can see it clearly, you notice the damage that man-thing did to you... by heavens, how were you still alive and...

Oh. The castle. You look forward, taking in the horizon - the stars look exclusively shiny tonight - you breath in, the dusty air causes you to chough a few times. Stretching your neck a bit to see your whole house, you tell yourself it looks.. fine, actually, ignoring the broken windows. The broken windows.

It's cold. You shiver harshly, panting as the air meets your bare back and rumbles through your lungs, making you hug yourself, - you're naked, you just realized - the winter in Romania is truly kind to no one.

Your legs tremble with just the thought of trying to stand on your feet. You don't rush to do it either, let the wintry breeze take in your wounds, make it sting, burn it, freeze it; freeze your body along.

“To die. To die is to live. To live without them, that's torture. To live without their presence, absent of their scents, to not hear them, nor see their faces again, that's worse than death; far, far worse. How could I ever walk into that damned house without the heavenly sounds of their laughs, the tapping of their feet as they walk free, the steadiness of their heartbeats, reminding me that my own still beats.

Beats for them. For them only.

And they're gone.

So who shall my heart beat for? Myself? No, that wouldn't do. I will rip it out from my chest if I must, sacrifice it to any god who may hear me, all so I could spend five more minutes with them. Then I'd die in peace and find them at my arms again at whatever comes after this poor life.

But I'm here.”

You still hold yourself as you stare at a castle's - broken - window, new warm tears hanging the same trail the old and now dry ones did, a silent cry.

Your intrusive thoughts were abruptly cut by a loud noise from the inside of the castle, making you jump up, gathering all your last strengths to stand and walk a few shaky steps closer to home. The more you walked, the louder the noises got; a little rustle became a bang, and your tiptoing became a sprint, you hold yourself as tight as you can, ignoring the bleeding, the cold air spiking your lungs, how insanely fast you heartbeat was. You need to get there, protect the last remnant of them you still have.

The gates felt heavy now, even for you, who would open them with one hand. Where is your strength now? The fearless dragon who'd do anything to protect her house? Perhaps she died on that fall, and now all there's left is a shadow of what you were one day.

With much pain, you open the big doors, leading to the comfort of your house; you don't get in, you throw yourself in. The warm atmosphere engulfed you like a summer kiss on a winter storm, all you needed to ground yourself to reality for now. Grabbing some sheets laying over an old counter, you wrap yourself in it – oh, that's gonna get soaked in blood, but that's not of your concern now – moving incredibly fast for someone as hurt as yourself, you follow the continuous sounds that could not mean something good. The main doors are open, the cellar is unlocked as well, that idiotic man-thing couldn't even close the doors once he finished slaughtering your home? Imbecile.

You stand at the library's door now, suddenly frozen; you know what happened in there... do you really want to get in? Are you truly ready to face it again? Maybe you should take a step back and walk away, it would be the most logical decision to take now.

But what is logic when the heart screams? What is the brain for once your emotions take the best of you? You can't walk away. Put some honor on your name. Save the last bit of your daughter that fate is still conceiving you. Your chest rises and falls completely out of coordination, your fists close around the fabric involving your body; get ready, you're going in; gather the last bit of courage you have inside yourself and blast these doors.

And so you do.

You bring those pieces of wood to the ground, the only barrier between you and the reality you couldn't accept; a guttural growl forms in your chest as you see a lycan approach your child's crystalized body; you're blind with ire, sorrow, protectorship - you name it - and it makes you shout at the top of your lungs as you dilacerate the filthy beasts you'd bat your eye at. A bloody trail of corpses marks your way through the castle grounds, your claws dripping with fresh sanguine fluid - which you can't tell if it's from the creatures or from yourself - the crimson path follows you all the way to the other wing of mansion like a spirit who must haunt you for eternity.

You scream like a feral animal, blood soaking the once white cloth around your form; the scream becomes a shriek, which descends to a yelp, ending as a furious cry. You can feel the anger leaving you, like the waters of a waterfall; explosive, big portions of water falling into a numb, deaden lake. Hopefully those waters will carry you with them, you shall fall and sink at a anesthetizing lagoon.

You kneel, eyes closed, eyebrows frowned; a loud sigh fills the deafening silence in the air, your mind is blank – better, your mind is red, scarlet red mixed with black, ire and grief. Slowly, your head lower itself so you're facing the floor.

The big Lady Dimitrescu,

kneeling on a pool of blood, defeated.

•

“Lady Dimitrescu!”

Who..? The voice was so far yet so close, you try your best to focus on the direction of the calls but your nerves just won't cooperate.

“Lady!”

Who would be calling for you? Is your mind playing tricks on you now? And since when you were laying on the floor? Too many questions for too little answers. You try to stand up, but a sharp pain on your side made you cry out and fall on your back, face knotted in pain – perhaps your adrenaline rush was keeping you from feeling what was really happening with your body, and now you feel like you're betraying yourself for that.

A small figure approaches you in a fast pace, causing you to unleash your claws one more time and snarl at the not-so-possible threat; you were hurt. Vulnerable. Letting someone close was the last thing you wanted now. The humanoid thing backs away a few steps with your aggressive reaction, hands on their chest, visibly afraid – even though your vision is quite blurry, you identify their expression: scared, desperate, sorrowful – they call out once more, almost shouting.

“Please, Lady Dimitrescu, let me help!”

Ah... Help... The now clearer feminine voice washes over you - a wave of compassion - as if hope has found its way to your house again. Well, it better go away again, or you'll drag it out yourself.

“Out.” was all that left your lips, your intense gaze locking with hers, a silent yet not so discrete warning; although you had only said one word, it was well understood by the woman, who stepped away, eyes still meeting yours, a dreadful cast hang on her face.

Still, she didn't left.

Is that girl testing her luck? It can only be. Once again you warn her: “Leave. I will not repeat myself.”

Her posture stiffens, after a moment of silence she looks at the door, truly wondering about leaving or not; her body turns around, her knuckles going white from how hard she was grabbing the fabric on her chest – she's conflicted. But why? Who is she, after all? – A long, defeated sigh leaves her, as if she knows there is no choice left.

“Allow me to help.” A failed effort on trying to sound confident; her voice is full of tears and her tone is oscillating – it makes you wonder if she has been crying – The human walks towards you, trying not to make any eye contact; you can't stand on your feet, you left hand is pressed on your injured side, the other is open and directing your now extended nails towards her.

Oh how funny it is, no?

The predator being cornered by the prey. The dragon being trapped by the rabbit. How ridiculous it is.

Her extremely shaky hands hang in front of her, trying to say she won't hurt you – oh if she only knew it's going to be the other way round. – One step closer.. Her lips and chin tremble; Another. Your claws grow bigger, eyes peering through her soul; another step, your eyebrows frown, her eyes are teary. The last step - your blood is boiling hot, your nerves on edge; you are still the predator. - a slicing sound and a half-scream saturate the air for a millisecond, just for silence to overfill it once more. Red splashes over the room again, on your face, on your chest, but mostly on the floor, where the girl was thrown at.

An agonizing scream leaves her throat - what a miracle, she remains alive - both of her hands cover her face, blood spilling all over her; what a sight, you would most definitely enjoy this very much on another situation. She cries out in despair, making you face the ceiling and close your eyes, a tired look on your face – you just want all this to end, you don't have any more patience for this. You want to crawl back into your bed and starve, you want to destroy this place, make it abandoned ruins of what one day was a home; you want to kill that damned sickening man-thing, kill this foolish girl for perturbing your grieving, and then yourself.

The woman captures your attention once again, she is kneeling, her body facing yours, her right hand presses her ripped face, the other makes its slow way up to you, although she is trembling, she manages to keep her hand steady enough to hand you a little green flask with a yellow-y label; You look closer, 'treatment disinfectant' it says... Oh you can only be joking. You feel like slaughtering the girl right this instant, but takes in a deep breath and holds the flask, her hand immediately falling along with her body. Is she dead? No, her slow yet consistent breathing exclaims that she is still alive – you honestly find it a bit offensive – You should, but you cannot bring yourself to finish the human; you should end her suffering, but now she caught your attention; and besides, she wants to help, doesn't she? then the price she'll pay is staying alive.

———

hahaaa I'm so nervous about posting this,,, ,

and yes! It is a alcina x maiden fic! I do plan it to be slow burn, and if some you liked it and read it till here, please like and/or reblog and I'll post chapter 2!

( posted on Ao3! Name: “The woman in your castle” )

( chapter 2 posted!! )

#lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu #help idk what im doing

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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chile i'm so glad i came across your blog, the amount of "i'm not going to assume they're dating" or "we can only draw certain conclusions but i can't say for sure" "we don't know their sexuality, BUT" type blogs i follow is getting kinda wack lmao. while i appreciate their perspective and nuanced takes i need to strike a balance. like let's get a lil delulu every once in a while. 💀

lol the im-not-a-shipper-but-call-jikook-boyfriends-every-other-post blogs are the funniest to me. the shipping hierarchy, so to speak is so weird. maybe just because im not a "shipping real people is bad" person i don't see the big deal. gonna get called delulu anyway, might as well go full out. they is gay/queer and they're fucking. i'm so sorry.

*also can we touch on the fact that shipping in this type of fandom (kpop) is kind of inevitable and unavoidable??! these boys are the other people we see them with day in and day out, interacting with each other and no one else. i feel like it's natural to ship when there's no other people around to break up everything, idk maybe someone can articulate this better than me. and people who are made to feel stupid for thinking that 2 members could actually be dating is so dumb. like is it really out of the realm of possibility that two people (jikook, cause all them other ships are....😬) who spent almost every waking minute together for like 8 years could fall in love. really?

/rant

It's the delulu hat for me

Lmho.

I guess for me being queer, I feel it's gaslighting for these people to be saying things like that. As silly as it is, it inadvertently deny and invalidate the existence and queerness of gay individuals and so I struggle with it.

This is the consequences of straight people in gay people business. They like defining gay parameters for us and it's like who asked you?? I feel people who say things like that are just plain ignorant or tone deaf or willfully homophobic.

I don't think everyone in BTS is gay but it makes me feel safe to see half the community assume them to be and celebrate them in that way. They are not cussing at them and threatening to leave the fandom or cancel them for this assumption and that is huge inspiration to me.

Those parts of the fandom are a safe space to be in as a queer army.

When people assume a person's queer sexuality they are simply admitting to themselves at the very least that LGBTQ EXISTS. This is important to me because I grew up in a community where LGBTQ didn't even exist in the collective consciousness of the people and EVERYONE IS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE STRAIGHT AND EXPECTED TO BE.

People read people's sexuality all the time and have done so since time immemorial and a lot of the time when they have had a sexuality read it's in the lines of straight, cis, rich, poor, superior or inferior. And that is a problem for some of us too because that discrepancy in the assumptions is as a result of homophobia and heteronormativity.

That whole don't assume a person's queer sexuality debacle sounds to me like a boujee way of denormalizing and preventing the normalization of queerness disguised under care, disguised under intelligence and disguised under wokeness. Especially when straightness is the default setting in this giant blue bulb.

We need to radicalize that. We need to change the cis straight default setting and if you are perpetuating this narrative you really aren't helping the situation. SIT DOWN.

I'm rarely assumed to be queer in certain circles and while that makes me feel comfortable within those circles it often times make it hard for me to admit my queerness openly in those circles too because I fear I will lose that comfort and respect and love and privileges that comes with being percieved straight in those spaces.

When I started my blog, I noticed some people assumed I was white and would use certain black descriptors as slurs when describing other people to me. I quickly had to switch the formal way in which I wrote to a much casual tone so my blackness would show through. Don't get it twisted. She black. She blackidy black black.

Then on the other hand, I was hesitant to let my queerness be known too because being black, I was marginalized as it is- you is black, or sound black💀 you know how it is- it's that intersectionality of oppression at play. Double double homicide.

When certain people realized I was black POC minority, their attitude towards me changed. I had those who didn't so much understand what black language is or perhaps wasn't used to being in black spaces and were uncomfortable with my blackness- these would take offense at me saying certain things in certain ways. Like chilee relax Karen, all I said was these motherfukkers gay as shit and they gay. Why you acting like I called them twinks or sommin. Right there, I'm cancelled for calling Jikook motherfuckers. They get sirens and everything😭😭😭😭😭😭

Same vein, I struggle destraightening myself or correcting people who assume I'm straight because I fear they will treat me differently if they knew I wasn't.

Straight privilege exists in the same way as white or even pretty privilege may exist and because these exist there's that automatic conception of queer, poc, ugly, fat disemfranschismet to run along side it.

People treat you differently based on how they perceive you. That's a fact. And for queer people, perceiving us as straight is the only way we get to be treated as human by the masses. And a lot of us embrace that- straight until proven gay am I right 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's the duper's delight for me. Untill you catch me with a 5'8 melanin skinned silk pressed auntie on my left nipple good luck proving I'm gay.

It can be fun, I akekeke when some people around me are totally oblivious to the fact and even sometimes defend my straightness with their dying breath when nasty friends throw them shades or try to out me unprovoked.

A lot of us don't want to admit we are gay because we don't want to be disenfranchised.

I speak for myself when I say this.

But 'Don't assume someone's sexuality' is a double edged censorship used for and against queer people. It seemly offers protection on the surface of it for queer people but underneath it promotes heteronormativity and standardizes straightness and it is also used to promote closet culture, under the disguise of care and concern for the autonomy of queer people but that is a fallacy because our autonomy has never mattered to anyone since the dawn of homophobia.

And I don't know where this interpretation comes from. Why do people not want to assume queer people's sexuality but it's ok to assume straight people's???

It feels like a hijacked movement to me.

THIS IS THE ACCURATE MOVEMENT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

Don't assume all people are straight. It's ok to assume some people are queer because queer people exists too.

It is wrong however to assume queerness based on how a person talks, walks, dresses or even on their body type. That is stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.

When it comes to Jikook, Jimin is often stereotyped as gay more so than Jungkook because they have different body structures. Jungkook is stereotyped too solely because of the way his wrists hang, or based on moments he's femininity shines through.

But I don't think shippers stereotype Jikook in that way at all. I dont think shippers believe Jikook are dating eachother simply because Jungkook applied setting powder to his face that one time. They assume they are gay only because they believe those two to be dating eachother. That is not stereotyping. If those two were heterosexuals I don't think people will accuse their shippers of stereotyping.

It's one thing to assume Kai is gay because he looks skinny and dances well. It's another to assume he is gay because in a relationship with Gdragon. And if people can't tell the difference between the two, they should get some education and stop talking about things they know nothing about or only know because they stumbled across user69 on Twitter. They are not helping.

Untill people get offended when people assume others are straight, that rhetoric doesn't matter in its inequality. If you ask me, everyone is gay until proven straight.

Yet how many people will take offense at that?

Assuming people can be gay is not delulu.

It's ok to assume people can be gay. It's wrong to stereotype them as gay. If you can't assume they are gay, don't assume they are straight and don't assume at all. Run with this sis.

Wait, they don't ship Jikook but they call Jikook boyfriends???????👀👀👀👀👀

The fake woke syndrome will kill people in this fandom with these mentally confused thought crisis bunch💀💀💀💀

Jikook themselves are shippers💀

Smh

GOLDY

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