#BRING ON THE SEXY TIME

[leupagus]

Still working on the "No Seriously, If Crowley and Aziraphale Ever Did Have Sex, They'd Have So Many Weird Conversations About It First" fic

"You already have a penis?" Aziraphale demanded, his hands on his hips. "Since when?"

Crowley tried to recall. "Turn of the nineteenth, I think?" he ventured. There'd been a fountain, and a lot of wine, and Jane challenging him to see which of them could hit the fish statue in the middle.* Afterwards he'd kept it — it was fun, being able to take a piss if you felt like it. Not to mention you could stir up a lot of trouble in public toilets if you were in a mood.**

"Really?" Aziraphale looked halfway between surprised and intrigued. "Don't you find it a bit — floppy?"

"Eh, a bit," Crowley admitted. "But they do amazing things with underpants these days."

Aziraphale laughed, the startled hiccough he gave sometimes when he wasn't quite ready to be out of his sulk. It was one of Crowley's favorite noises. "Very well," he said, adjusting his waistcoat. "Let's have a look."

"What? No," said Crowley. He'd been looking forward to showing off his cock at some point, but Aziraphale was eyeing him like the Queen about to inspect the troops.

"Why not?" Aziraphale whinged, his lower lip puckering dangerously near a pout. "We're going to have to take our clothes off when we have sex. Unless — actually, I think that's on the list of kinks, you know, sex with your clothes on, but it seems terribly awkward, not to mention you'd have to get everything cleaned afterward. Although I do have a rather good 'dry cleaner,'" he made the inverted commas with his fingers and everything, "Who's an absolute miracle worker." He paused. "Well, not a real one. At any rate, come along." And he gestured at Crowley's crotch.

Crowley, who'd had millennia of practice with Aziraphale's careening monologues, was still halfway through unbuckling his belt before his brain caught up. "I'm not pulling my cock out in the middle of your bookshop," he said — with absolutely perfect timing, since Muriel chose that moment to come bustling in.

They stood frozen for a moment, blinking at both of them as they clutched at the doorframe. "I think I, erm, heard a… noise?" They smiled, and backed out slowly. "I should go. And check, on the noise, because noises are sometimes indicators of—" Whatever else they were saying was lost with the slamming of the door.

"Small mercies," Aziraphale huffed, and wriggled his fingers; the sign on the door flipped to "CLOSED" and the door locked with a pointed flourish. "Now then!"

*Neither of them had, and it had nearly gotten them arrested, all the moreso since they'd been in Spain at the time.

**With or without an anus.

#good omens fic #ficcage of interest #crowley's musings about the time he considered getting snake penises #(yes snakes have two dicks) #are definitely going to be referenced #so many wonderful sexy fics about these guys but what *I* want to bring #is the Weird Energy #ineffable motherfuckers #good grade in sex fic

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Bringing this back....for reasons

Vincent Price as the Devil/Mr. Scratch

The Story of Mankind (1957)

#vincent price #i has to bring this back #one of my fave gifs of all time #hes so cute and sexy #blow out my back please... #candles.. #i mean candles 😇 #he makes me unwell #i apologize for the tags...i cant help myself #so sexy #the devil #Vincent Price as the devil? #yes fucking please #bicon #bisexual #horror #old horror movies #vintage #movie #actor #handsome #gif #gif made by me

[01432853]

Ziyu what do you think? If you wish to get married this is naturally good news. However..

My Journey to You (2023) - EP 4

#my journey to you #cdramaedit #cdramasource #dailyasiandramas #asiandramasource #chineseartistsinc #asiandramanet #cdrama #asiandramaedit #mer gifs #mhahahaha #you know i have the best time watching his scenes #i'm so entertained #so sexy of him #the bgm guitar riff they keep bringing makes it even better

[compacflt]

Oh to be Maverick, reading AD magazine and has a husband that will write you a blank check to buy any decor you want. Or collects expensive watches. And has the same taste. I don't know if anyone have asked this, what is your hc about their car preference? I hc that Mav likes big car because he's relatively short. And Ice likes luxury car. What do you think?

oh my god i have had this headcanon for so long thank god someone’s asking about it.

Ice will ONLY drive American-manufactured cars. like even when he travels somewhere and rents one. he will raise a stink about it.

It is a significant point of contention in their relationship & marriage that maverick is only interested in Japanese-manufactured motorcycles. Like they have had, and will continue to have, shouting matches over “why can’t you be a patriot and buy American motorcycles like harleys??!? What is with all the kawasaki and yamaha crap???” and “ice im telling you they just run better!!! the japanese just make better bikes!!!” tongue-in-cheek threats of divorce etc.

i definitely think of ice as less a luxury car and more a classic muscle car guy. back when muscle cars still were delicate and beautiful instead of hard and sharp, if that makes sense. there is a Venn diagram of luxury and muscle cars and he definitely has dabbled in the middle (see my fic’s deepthroating of the 2005 ford GT). But he won’t cross the line. (Won’t be caught dead driving a Porsche or mercedes for instance)

in the final final draft of my fic (ie the draft that will get posted before i call it quits on my top gun phase) the Dream Car is getting changed to a ‘68 Plymouth HEMI roadrunner. camaro is too mainstream i will admit. but see above for my “car preferences” hc.

#when maverick does finally get his license ice says he’ll pay for 60% of the car mav wants so long as it is American made #okay sooo if i said i wanted a jeep…? #ice (narrowed eyes): i would support that but you’re on thin ice #Mav just wants off-roading capability #not because he’s a big off-roader but just because ‘what if someday we need to go off roading?’ #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #top gun #asks #edts notes #2005 ford gt is beyond sexy #also completely out of the price range of even a 2-star admiral so very unrealistic I have to admit #nah. interested in the LP American marques (Chevy ford Plymouth) #the holy trinity of 60s cars #can we not bring back 60s automobile frames but safe and make them electric? i pray for that every night #headcanons ive had for over a year now. time passes.

[haveyouseenherlately]

get you a bf who has band shirts you can steal <3

#i almost want to write smutty blurbs based on every single one these shirts #because i totally don’t go crazy over a hot boy who listens to the same music i do #nope doesn’t affect me one bit #because listening to jeff buckley cuddled up with bf matty would just be ugh #bauhaus would mean sweaty sweaty sex #fugazi is for when he’s jealous probably lol #radiohead is for when he’s feeling political #mazzy star would bring the super sweet side of him #the smiths would just mean a fucking sexy time lol #matty & band shirts #matty #matty healy #the 1975 #bf matty #a matty collection

[bird-inacage]

LITA Special Episode | “You lost to me.”

Holy Christ people, this episode was the horniest thing I have ever seen. These boys can’t keep their hands off each other. This was HOT -but I did keep picturing poor Namtan accidentally walking in on them. I wonder if she would just back away slowly like ‘I see this room is occupied’. God, and the way Sky wraps his arms around Prapai’s neck is OOF.

#LITA #love in the air #love in the air series #LITA special episode #prapaisky #paisky #prapai x sky #sky x prapai #they bring FIRE #office sexy times #GOD this whole scene murdered me #the AUDACITY of these men

[accio-victuuri]

wang yibo as chen shuo @ one and only ♥️

#i made this set because of the first gif. YIBO DOING KRUMP IS SO SEXY ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 #INTERNATIONAL RELEASE STARTS AUGUST 11 !!!! please support and watch it! bring people with you! talk about it on your accounts too! 🫶🏼 #time to show up for yibo ☺️☺️☺️☺️ #wang yibo #accio victuuri gifs #accio victuuri edit #one and only movie

[soupnoodle]

my friend who went to see the new master and margarita movie, not familiar with the book: what the fuck is going on

me, watching the new master and margarita movie, familiar with the book: what the fuck is going on

#i'm the plot accuracy nerd 🤍 #i tried to be objective but turned out i can't #it's hard to be one when the director suddenly decides to bring his own ideas into the adaptation and makes it modern looking #people are mostly saying yeah august diehl was so cool so sexy it's bad margarita is the one naked at the end #i can tell you're missing the point and all that huge budget and these actors are not enough to hide all the fuck ups #and you're ready for this conversation #i can be bitchy for no end when it comes to movies that are supposed to be built on the primary source (the book) #but instead of it directors just borrow the characters and ideas and create it in something absurd #i'm not here to drool over august diehl. i am in fact here to re-experience the story i really love #also someone said that actors were good but i leave it to those who really appreciate it #ps. woland's retinue was dull and bland #master and margarita #for the first rime in a while i felt nothing after watching a movie #neither good nor bad emotions it just wasted my time #как похорошела москва при собянине

[fuckthisshitimin]

[ID: The meme "To be loved is to be changed", with images of Jane Prentiss, as a human first, and then as the Flesh Hive. End ID.]

Did I do the meme right?

The pieces on their own and with proper IDs below the cut:

[ID: A digital, decorative fanart of Jane Prentiss from The Magnus Archives, holding a glass of red wine and looking at the viewer. She is a light-skinned Mediterranean woman, with long curly hair, visible arm hairs and a mono-brow. She is wearing creole earrings, several golden embellished bracelets and a vertically striped red and pink dress. On certain stripes of fabric, rose gold spirals are embroidered. She has flowers in her hair, and her face, reddened with acne, is smiling sincerely. Behind her, blue flowers bloom in the air. Signed: Meaningless Mikhaïl. End ID.]

[ID: A drawing of Jane Prentiss as the Flesh Hive. Her skin is colder and greener than it was in the previous drawing, and the same goes for her hair. The pimples on her face have been replaced by holes for worms to come in and out of. She is looking upwards with a hand on her cheek, smiling gleefully. She isn't wearing clothes: her nipples and belly button have been hollowed out and gape open. Worms crawl all over her, clustering in the crook of her neck, in her armpit. One of the worms is crawling out of her nail, tearing it away. Behind her, red splatters of blood bloom in the air. Signed: Meaningless Mikhaïl. End ID]

#cw trypophobia #jane prentiss #tma #mikhail draws #tma fanart #tma meme #jane prentiss fanart #worm wife #she's gorgeous actually #i saw this meme and immediately thought of the corruption #high effort fanart for a meme? on my tumblr? #also why do we not see more mono brows #they are like so very sexy #dense brows and thick hair were in fashion at some point - plz plz plz bring hairy arms and facial hair with you next time #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fanart #the flesh hive #the corruption #body horror

[victimized-martyr]

I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?

Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭

Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D

Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.

I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.

TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)

I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.

I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.

#south park #kyman #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #cartman #what is brevity? hell if I know #asks #talk tag #Again it’s important that Cartman’s an asshole in different ways #like there’s this excellent trey quote where he introduces Matt as his wife #and like. wouldn’t that be the perfect way to piss kyle off?? #‘My lovely wife Kahl’ ‘honey you really need to get that sand out of your vagina’ #Cartman just loves Kyle’s attention in general so yeah he’s a tease but instead of insults he prefers flirting #is it because its the right thing to do and the way to respect his spouse? sure if that’s what u think. all Cartman knows is that #the less he insults his husband and the more praise he gives the better sexy times is #the insults don’t come from a genuine place anymore either bc again he’s reconciled how in love he is w/ kyle #and w/ kyle he knows cartman is all talk and he loves putting him in place and like why would he pummel his husband in punches if kisses #knocks him off his pedestal even more?? literally a look will bring his husband to his knees (reverence..apology..other..doesn’t matter) #oop im blurring this tag w/ my next answered question lolol

[lovelierbitsoflife]

The kiss

#literally floored me how soft this was #Sara’s really outdone herself this time #bring on the sexy times #young royals #yr #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #simon yr #wilhelm yr #wilmon kissing #yr s2 #yr spoiler #yr s2 spoiler #yr spoilers #yr s2 spoilers #young royals spoilers #young royals season 2 #young royals season 2 spoilers #my gif #kiss #yr kiss

[survivingandenduring]

A bit of my clock app nonsense

#pedro brings sexy every damn time #pedro pascal edit #pedro pascal #pedro #pedropascaledit

[loverockawaitsyou]

We all could use a little more MOTHER LOVE BONE content! 

I always think of the Butterfly Effect and how the loss of Andy Wood is one of music history’s biggest “What If’s?”

Andy was truly something special and Mother Love Bone was an exciting band on the rise. I love Andy’s explanation of “Love Rock,” and what the band was all about.

This video is my sexuality! I don’t care what anybody says.

Here is a restored version of Holy Roller from Mother Love Bone.

#mother love bone #andy wood #jeff ament #stone gossard #greg gilmore #bruce fairweather #seattle #love rock #80s #90s #this whole video is sexy #time to bring back pirate chic

[dailyknkdz]

Day 4: Once, in Cafe Uzumaki, Kunikida fed Dazai some of his lunch with his chopsticks, without thinking, being too engrossed in reading a case file. Dazai loved it. Kunikida was embarassed. Dazai now tries to get him to do it again, on purpose.

#dailyknkdz #knkdz #kunikidazai #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #kunizai #bsd #dazai wants free food #but he also thinks it's kinda sexy #kunikida hcs #dazai hcs #kunikida washed his chopsticks three times #now he brings a special Dazai pair in case he gets roped into feeding the bastard again

[frontlinebicepsoftheninth]

in light of a second migration to this site i just need to speak my truth which is that harrow is a redditor gideon is a twitter user and ianthe is a tumblrina hope this helps

#coronabeth is an instagram influencer obviously #and babs is a tiktok one they collab #camilla is like that one user on that math forum who posts answers to insane equations no one can solve without a proof to explain how #palamedes meanwhile is a quora/yahoo answers (rip) certified expert who gives helpful and detailed answers to everything #slash ao3 writer on the side #i know we all see john as a twitch streamer but i think he's most like a discord mod #wait lowkey that's mercy but i want to give them all unique sites so. ok fine john is the streamer and mercy is his insufferable twitch mod #pyrrha stars in like a woodworking/survivalist skill youtube channel that's filmed and run by nona #who is always giving encouraging commentary from behind the camera she just wants everyone to see how awesome her dadmom is #abigail has a channel where she talks about famous historical events or like analyzes media based on historical accuracy #magnus pops into frame as her every now and then bringing her tea or asking a question. she doesn't edit him out bc the fans love him #augustine is a podcaster. the WORST kind #isaac and jeannemary run a gaming channel where they play the same games as jod and bully him online #one day magnus pops in during a livestream. they are embarrassed but the few crossover fans from abi's channel start going crazy in the chat #judith would just like. write a memoir i think #one of those with a super patriotic portrait on the cover #dulcinea is also an ao3 author she and pal do fic exchanges and she's also like a cool fanartist idk on what platform. maybe here #silas has a girl defined channel or he's one of those people who spends all their time arguing in facebook comments #mercy would also be that person considering she literally references that one church lady. her neuroticism is just peak overly online person #oh oh nona and the gang also get pyrrha to do sexy tiktok dances for her channel they are highly successful #god i haven't even gotten into the BoE characters this cast is so fucking large i'm stopping here #the way i was literally just going to add one tag to this and then i couldn't stop lol anyways we have fun here #tlt #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers #(just in case bc of a few tags)

[illiana-mystery]

Ricardo, mi amor. ❤️

#hello ricky #honestly the best character the law and order franchise ever had #wish he had more time to shine #i can't even watch law and order anymore #because it makes me miss him even more #bring my boy ricky back #he's so hot #like oh my gosh #sir 🥵🥵🥵 #have mercy on me sir #sexy ass detective #ricardo morales #law and order la #law and order los angeles #my sweet alfredo #my heart #❤️❤️❤️❤️ #alfred molina