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skywalker1dream · 2 days

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Title: The uncertain future

note: im sorry if i hurt anyone.... believe i cried while writing this too.... i wanted happy ending but.....yea..dont hate me pleas.

Summary: As the sister of Lewis Hamilton, you watched the friendship between him and Nico Rosberg flourish and then crumble. Your heart, however, has always belonged to Nico. Now, with old wounds reopened and hidden feelings exposed, you find yourself torn between the love of your life and the brother you adore. In this tragic love story, you must make a heart-wrenching decision that will change everything.

Warnings: Angst, emotional conflict, family tension, panic attack

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The sound of engines roaring in the distance was a constant reminder of the world you lived in. The world where your brother, Lewis Hamilton, was a star, and where your heart had silently but steadfastly clung to Nico Rosberg.

You were standing at the edge of the paddock, watching as Lewis and Nico avoided each other, the tension between them palpable. It had been years since their friendship had broken down, and yet the pain was still fresh. You could see it in Lewis’s eyes whenever Nico’s name was mentioned, and you could feel it in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw Nico.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The three of you had grown up together, sharing dreams and ambitions. But as Lewis and Nico’s rivalry intensified, so did the cracks in their friendship. You were caught in the middle, torn between the love for your brother and the hidden feelings you harbored for Nico.

Nico spotted you and walked over, his eyes softening as they met yours. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked quietly, his voice a blend of hope and hesitation.

You nodded, your heart pounding. “Sure, let’s go somewhere private.”

The two of you found a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of the media and the team. Nico took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I know it’s complicated with Lewis and everything, but… I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Nico, I… I’ve felt the same way. But Lewis… he’ll never accept it.”

Nico reached out, taking your hands in his. “I know it’s not fair to ask you to choose, but I can’t pretend anymore. I need to know if there’s a chance for us, despite everything.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked into his. “I want to be with you, Nico. But I don’t want to hurt Lewis. He’s my brother, and he’s already lost so much.”

“Then what do we do?” Nico’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I don’t know how.....how to choose between you two.”

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The next few days were a blur of races, press conferences, and strained conversations. You avoided Lewis, knowing that your face would betray the turmoil inside you. But you couldn’t avoid him forever.

One evening, Lewis cornered you in your hotel room, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. “What’s going on with you and Nico?” he demanded, his voice tight with emotion.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the secret you had been carrying. “Lewis, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you. But… I’m in love with him. I have been for a long time.”

Lewis’s eyes widened, and he took a step back, as if physically struck by your words. “You’re in love with Nico? After everything he’s done?”

“It’s not that simple,” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. “I love him, but I love you too. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

Lewis shook his head, his expression hardening. “You have to choose, [your name]. You can’t have both. If you’re with him, you’re betraying me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, the decision you had been dreading now laid bare before you. “Lewis, please don’t make me do this.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to,” he insisted, his voice cold and final. “It’s him or me.”

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That night, you met Nico in the hotel lobby, your heart heavy with the decision you had made. He looked at you, hope and fear mingling in his eyes. “What did he say?”

You took a deep breath, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “He said I have to choose. And I.....I choose him, Nico. I’m..... I’m so sorry.”

Nico’s face crumpled, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. “I understand. I always knew it might come to this. I just… I wish things were different.”

You clung to him, the tears flowing freely now. “So do I. More than anything.”

-------------------

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. You watched as Nico moved on, his eyes losing some of their spark. Lewis, too, seemed more distant, a part of him closed off forever.

You had made your choice, but the cost was more than you could bear. In choosing your brother, you had lost the love of your life. And in losing Nico, you had lost a part of yourself.

As you stood alone at the edge of the paddock, the roar of the engines a distant echo, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made the right choice. But some choices, once made, can never be undone.

One particularly grueling day, the weight of your decision bore down on you more heavily than usual. Every interaction felt hollow, every laugh forced. You felt like a ghost of yourself, drifting through life without purpose. The pressure built until you could no longer hold it back.

You were in the paddock, surrounded by the familiar noise and chaos of race day, when the panic attack hit. Your chest tightened, and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. The world spun around you, and your vision blurred. You stumbled, clutching at your chest as you tried to draw in a breath, but it felt like your lungs were being squeezed by an iron fist.

Lewis was the first to notice. He rushed to your side, his face etched with worry. “[your name], what’s wrong? Talk to me!”

You couldn’t speak. All you could do was shake your head, tears streaming down your face as you fought for air. Lewis wrapped his arms around you, his voice a soothing murmur in your ear. “It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here.”

Gradually, the world came back into focus, and you managed to draw in a shaky breath. But the relief was short-lived. The emotional dam broke, and you snapped.

“This is all your fault!” you screamed, pushing Lewis away. “You....you made me choose! You made me give up the love of my life!”

Lewis’s face fell, hurt and confusion mixing in his eyes. “[ your name], I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Protecting me?” you spat, the anger boiling over. “You tore my heart in two! You made me choose between you and Nico, and now I’m broken. I can’t....I can’t live like this anymore, Lewis. I can’t live without him.”

Lewis’s expression crumpled, and he reached out to you, but you stepped back. “I need to fix this. I need to be with Nico.”

Before he could respond, you turned and fled, your heart pounding as you made your way to Nico’s home. Every step felt like a race against time, a desperate bid to reclaim the happiness you had lost.

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When you arrived at Nico’s door, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorbell. What if it was too late? What if he had moved on, leaving you behind in the wreckage of your choices?

But you had to try. Taking a deep breath, you rang the bell.

After a few moments, the door opened. But it wasn’t Nico who stood before you. It was a woman, her expression one of polite curiosity. “Can I help you?”

Your heart plummeted. “I… I’m looking for Nico. Is he here?”

The woman hesitated, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at you. “He’s not here right now. Can I tell him who’s asking?”

You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “Just… tell him [your name] stopped by.”

She nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’ll let him know.”

As the door closed, you stood there, feeling the weight of the world crashing down on you. It was too late. Nico had moved on, and you were left standing on the doorstep of what could have been.

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The drive back was a blur. You felt numb, the pain of your decision and the realization of its consequences settling like a leaden weight in your chest. When you arrived at your hotel, Lewis was waiting for you, his expression a mixture of concern and guilt.

“Did you find him?” he asked quietly.

You shook your head, unable to meet his eyes. “He’s not there. He’s with someone else now.”

Lewis stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, darling. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you finally looked at him. “But you did, Lewis. And now I’ve lost everything...”

He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his chest. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

But as you clung to him, the void inside you remained. The love you had lost, the life you had given up, all of it weighed heavily on your heart.

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #fanfic #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #sir lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #nico rosberg x reader #nico rosberg x you #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic #brocedes #brocedes fic

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eirianerisdar · 1 day

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Hiiiii I’ve only just seen it but if youre still doing the directors commentary thing I was gonna ask about Icarus? :) and the ⭐️ for whatever part you choose

(and just wanted to say your writing is so beautiful, I’m loving reading it so much thank you for sharing <3)

Oh ye I'm going to go on an absolute rant about Brocedes

An excerpt from chapter 30 of Icarus, when Lewis has just strained his newly regrown wings on a highly unadvised first flight after having grown out his primaries again for the first time in sixteen years, and runs into Nico by chance on an old clifftop haunt of theirs above Monaco. It's purely mutual pining in that uniquely Brocedes way

For the uninitiated, Icarus is an F1 wingfic that covers most of the grid, with the theme of wing trimming as a representation of unhealthy practices in motorsport forced upon drivers.

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A shape appears out of the rising sun, brown-white sparrowhawk feathers silhouetted against the dawn.

Unlike Lewis’s haphazard landing a minute earlier, Nico’s is elegant and precise; he comes out of his dive twisting in a perfect diagonal to the clifftop, one wingtip brushing the ground and the other pointed towards the sun, and lands on silent feet. He is wearing a tailored flight-suit that fits him as well as his race suit used to; the small backpack slotted between his wings has a molded plastic shell for better aerodynamics.

Nico folds his wings, and stares.

“Lewis?” he says, shocked. “What are you doing here?”

Lewis is suddenly all-too aware of the dirt ground into his skin, smeared over his t-shirt and ratty running sweats. His wings are caked with sand and grime from his less-than perfect landings; his palms are smarting with a dozen shallow cuts from hauling himself back up onto the clifftop.

He finds his voice. “What are you doing here?”

It comes out more accusing than Lewis intended. Nico’s face closes; his sparrowhawk wings flatten against his back.

“I come here often,” he says. “I fly up here every morning.”

Lewis doesn’t miss the implication that he is the intruder here, not Nico.

Lewis doesn’t know why that hurts so much. Maybe because he shouldn’t feel so out of place here, in this little sanctuary tucked against the Monaco cliffs where he and Nico had watched the sun rise and set so many times.

Nico ventures closer. His eyes are on Lewis’s wings. “You really did it,” he says oddly. “You grew out your wings.”

Lewis sets his jaw, raises his chin. “Yeah,” he says challengingly. “What about it?”

Nico flinches and looks away. His chest rises and falls faster than usual.

It would seem that even after all this time, Lewis still knows how to get a rise out of Nico. Lewis should feel vindicated, but he doesn’t. Something about the way Nico is holding his wings makes Lewis feel sick.

Nico crosses over to a flat-topped rock a careful distance away and sits. The two of them face the sunrise like they have done so many times years ago. The wind that ruffles both their feathers brings with it the scent of the sea.

Lewis closes his eyes. The sun sears his skin, turns the backs of his eyelids orange-yellow. There is so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t know where to begin. He could start at Abu Dhabi, at that awful Sky interview. He could go back to 2021, when he had finally admitted to himself and to the press that he could have been a better teammate to Nico.

He could go back to Barcelona 2016; the ache in his shabby wings in the garage, and the brief moment of blessed, cool relief when Nico had brushed a hand through Lewis’s wing.

It was the last time either of them had touched each other’s wings. Their crash and DNF at Barcelona had snapped the last threads that held them together as flock.

Lewis waits for Nico to say something, but Nico stays silent. It stings.

Lewis sneaks a glance at his former flock, finds Nico already looking at him – not at his dirt-smeared face or messy braids, but at his wing plumes, pooled carelessly in the dust at the base of the rock he is seated on.

In the dawn light, Nico’s clean, well-brushed feathers are painted in peach and ochre. Lewis bristles, waits for Nico to make an unsavoury comment.

But Nico just clasps his hands together in his lap, tight enough that the knuckles go pale. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Your wing plumes are longer than I remember,” he says hoarsely.

Oh. Lewis looks down at them, at his draped double-cloak of gold, white, and maroon.

“Yeah,” he says. A gust of wind blows dirt over the end of one of his plumes; he nudges it carelessly with the toe of his trainer, but only succeeds in matting the feather ends with even more dirt.

Nico makes an abortive motion towards Lewis.

Lewis looks at him sharply, watches Nico fold his hands into fists on his knees. Nico’s face is pinched.

Lewis breathes through the bitterness. He knows he is intruding on Nico’s space by being here. It’s just that a part of him thought that he would still have a place here, where they had shared so many happy memories.

He can’t even leave; his wings still hurt too much to chance anything other than a glide.

Nico’s feathers rustle as he stands. “I’m going to head back,” he says quietly. “You coming?”

Lewis shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “I’m going to sit a while longer.”

The flight muscles of his right wing ache dully; he shakes it out carefully, fighting a wince.

Nico is suddenly standing within arm’s reach, blocking out the sun. “Your wing,” he says, frowning. “You’ve got flyer’s cramp.”

“It’ll pass,” Lewis snaps, folding his wing back against his spine even though that makes it hurt worse. “I’ve got it handled.”

“You shouldn’t fly back alone,” Nico says seriously. “Come on, let’s go. I’ll even let you get there first.”

Lewis tenses at the implication. He hates competition not treating him seriously – Nico most of all.

“I’m fine,” he says testily. “It’s just the thermals. I rode them up, I’ll find a way between them to glide back down again. I’ll manage.”

“The thermals?” Nico frowns over his shoulder at the dizzying drop down towards the sea. “Where did you fly here from?”

Lewis works his jaw. “The beach,” he says.

Nico turns on him instantly. “The beach?” he exclaims. “Are you fucking – you can’t have unsheathed your feathers more than a few days ago!”

Lewis doesn’t reply, but Nico reads him anyway.

“Oh my God,” Nico stares. “It hasn’t even been a few days, has it? This is your first fucking flight.”

Lewis jerks his chin. “What about it?”

Nico puts his face in his hands. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you insane? Who flies up a cliff for their first flight in sixteen years? Do you want to die?”

Lewis hates to admit it, but laying it out like that puts it into perspective. He isn’t usually one to take such risks. He let his hunger for freedom override his common sense.

“That’s it,” Nico says. He jerks his head towards the cliff edge. “I’m making sure you get back without killing yourself. Let’s go.”

Lewis looks at the edge of the cliff. The wind has picked up even more now that the sun has fully risen; bits of rock and dirt swirl in the wind to tumble off the lip.

He doesn’t want to name the feeling that roots him in place.

Lewis Hamilton has never been one to admit fear.

Nico strides over to the cliff edge, draws a sharp line in the dirt with the toe of his flight boot. “Come on,” he snaps. “I’m not leaving unless you’re with me.”

Something about that phrase twists Lewis’s stomach, uncovers a bitter wound.

Because Nico had left. He’d left Lewis to race on alone.

“What is it?” Nico says. “Is your wing still cramping?”

Lewis shifts his wings. “No.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Lewis opens his mouth, closes it again. Looks away.

If there’s anything he hates most in the world, it’s looking weak in front of Nico Rosberg.

“I don’t think I can make it,” he admits.

Nico stills. “What?”

Lewis breathes a bitter laugh. “I know what it sounds like,” he says, looking down at his dirt-splattered wing plumes. “But I’m gonna be honest with you, man. I don’t think I can make it.”

Nico doesn’t respond. He looks like a statue stood on the cliff edge, his golden hair a halo around his head, his wings of carven marble.

Lewis runs his scraped palms together. “I don’t know the thermals,” he says, swallowing the shame. “They’re so different from what I remember. I keep getting pushed higher. My flight muscles aren’t strong enough to fight my way out if I get caught in one.” He gestures at himself, at the dirt ground into his wings, his clothes. “I barely made it out of the clouds and back here.”

Silence, save for the cry of gulls in the harbour below and the whistling wind.

Flight boots stomp against dirt and rock as Nico stalks over, grabs Lewis by the collar, and shakes him, hard.

Lewis’s hands come up automatically, but Nico has already let go. Lewis watches as Nico turns in a flare of sparrowhawk feathers to pace the dirt of the clifftop.

Nico snaps to a halt, glares down at Lewis. “I can’t fucking believe what I’m hearing,” he hisses. “You’re not some damsel in distress. You’re Lewis fucking Hamilton.”

Lewis stares up at Nico’s furious face. This isn’t what he expected at all.

“Lewis Hamilton doesn’t back down from a fight,” Nico snarls. “What the fuck happened to you? You always said you could do anything as long as you pushed hard enough. So get up. Push.”

Lewis bristles. “Easy for you to say,” he spits. “You’ve had six years to learn the air patterns and train up your wings. Don’t pretend we’re on equal footing.”

Nico’s face whitens. For a moment Lewis thinks Nico will punch him; but Nico only exhales and looks over his shoulder at the cliff edge.

“It’s not as complicated than it looks,” he says abruptly. “It’s just that new building down where the road splits, and that paved road cutting through the trees there. It breaks up the current that used to flow down from–”

“Thanks, Nico,” Lewis says sarcastically. “I’m sure that’ll be really helpful when I’m trying to navigate something I can’t see.”

“Just–” Nico closes his eyes briefly. His voice softens. “Just stay on my wing,” he says quietly. “I’ll guide you down.”

Lewis looks at the cliff edge. He swallows.

Nico’s eyes are a clear, intense blue. “I won’t leave you,” he says. “I promise.”

Like that fucking meant anything the last time you said it, Lewis thinks. Some of his thoughts must show on his face, because Nico’s eyes shutter.

Lewis grits his teeth. He feels like an arse.

He feels the wind run through his still-aching wings. “What if I fall?”

Nico’s face hardens. He looks for a moment like he did when he met Lewis’s eyes across the garage as they got into their cars in Abu Dhabi 2016. It is a look that says try me, and I will prove you wrong.

“Then I’ll fucking catch you,” he spits.

The promise settles in Lewis’s bones.

Nico’s anger and determination is something Lewis knows too well. This, he can trust.

Nico’s straightens. The sun suffuses his hair, outlines his wings with gold. He holds out a hand to Lewis.

“Come on,” he says. “We’ve got this. Clear air all the way down.”

Lewis looks at Nico’s hand before him – the familiar grooves of his palm, the finger-webs turned pink in the sun. The hand that Lewis had once thought nothing of holding in his own.

He reaches up, and takes it.

======

Director's Cut:

I had this scene planned very early; I held on to it for a solid four months before the plot progressed to the point that this happened. The thing I most wanted to get across in this scene, the first proper scene where Lewis and Nico are properly speaking face-to-face instead of just pining, is just how much they both care about each other even if it all comes out toxic.

The way I planned this conversation is that every single thing that comes out of Nico and Lewis's mouths is misinterpreted as hostile. Even body language is misinterpreted.

A few examples:

1. When Nico says, “I come here often. I fly up here every morning," he means I often return here, to this place of good memories with you, because I miss you.

Lewis takes this to mean that Nico thinks that Lewis is in his space, and that Lewis doesn't have a right to this shared space they used to have as teenagers.

2. Nico ventures closer. His eyes are on Lewis’s wings. “You really did it,” he says oddly. “You grew out your wings.”

Lewis sets his jaw, raises his chin. “Yeah,” he says challengingly. “What about it?”

Nico flinches and looks away. His chest rises and falls faster than usual.

Nico's trying to find some common ground here. He never thought Lewis would give up speed to regrow his wings. Nico had been harbouring hope that maybe they'd be able to heal if both of them weren't dead-focused on racing anymore; but Lewis is so used to Nico using everything as an insult he takes it badly.

But he still cares about Nico enough that he can tell when he's gone too far. Nico at this point in the story has gone through a full wing crisis because of Lewis, and Lewis isn't aware of it.

3. But Nico just clasps his hands together in his lap, tight enough that the knuckles go pale. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Your wing plumes are longer than I remember,” he says hoarsely.

Oh. Lewis looks down at them, at his draped double-cloak of gold, white, and maroon.

Nico makes an abortive motion towards Lewis.Lewis looks at him sharply, watches Nico fold his hands into fists on his knees. Nico’s face is pinched.

Lewis isn't used to having full-grown bird-of-paradise plumes. He nudges them with his foot because to him they're just his feathers; he'll go and clean them later. for Nico, he's positively screaming to preen Lewis's wings. He's sitting there going insane with yearning while Lewis mats his feathers in dirt.

4. Nico turns on him instantly. “The beach?” he exclaims. “Are you fucking – you can’t have unsheathed your feathers more than a few days ago!”

When Nico finds out Lewis has got flyer's cramp and that Lewis isn't sure if he can make it back home without falling, he defaults to anger. He's actually furious because he's terrified that Lewis could have fallen to his death, but Nico, like Lewis, defaults to anger to mask his fear. Lewis does the same.

5. Flight boots stomp against dirt and rock as Nico stalks over, grabs Lewis by the collar, and shakes him, hard.

Lewis’s hands come up automatically, but Nico has already let go. Lewis watches as Nico turns in a flare of sparrowhawk feathers to pace the dirt of the clifftop.

Nico snaps to a halt, glares down at Lewis. “I can’t fucking believe what I’m hearing,” he hisses. “You’re not some damsel in distress. You’re Lewis fucking Hamilton.”

Lewis stares up at Nico’s furious face. This isn’t what he expected at all.

“Lewis Hamilton doesn’t back down from a fight,” Nico snarls. “What the fuck happened to you? You always said you could do anything as long as you pushed hard enough. So get up. Push.”

This is something integral to Nico Rosberg: he has absolute faith that Lewis Hamilton will back down for nothing. That no matter what the world throws at him, Lewis Hamilton will push. All Nico's anxiety about Lewis still hating him or overstepping and snapping this fragile connection that's forming evaporates because this is Lewis fucking Hamilton who Nico knows through and through and Nico will die before he lets Lewis be anyone other than himself.

6. He feels the wind run through his still-aching wings. “What if I fall?”

“Then I’ll fucking catch you,” he spits.

The promise settles in Lewis’s bones.

Nico’s anger and determination is something Lewis knows too well. This, he can trust.

This is Nico saying I'm with you until the end of the line. It's a declaration of if you fall I will fall with you. Lewis doesn't fully get the emotion behind it yet - there's still too much ingrained hurt there - but he can see Nico's anger and determination. The same anger and determination that allowed Nico to beat him in 2016. This, he can trust.

7. Nico straightens. The sun suffuses his hair, outlines his wings with gold. He holds out a hand to Lewis.

“Come on,” he says. “We’ve got this. Clear air all the way down.”

Lewis looks at Nico’s hand before him – the familiar grooves of his palm, the finger-webs turned pink in the sun. The hand that Lewis had once thought nothing of holding in his own.

He reaches up, and takes it.

I swear I had this section planned out almost word-for-word for four months. The image of Nico with his blond hair and sparrowhawk wings offering a hand to Lewis, offering to parlay, offering to help. It's the first time neither of them have been fully alone. It's the first moment that shows there might be a possibility of healing.

Clear air. Flying in formation, like they used to drive in formation on victory laps. Nico is Lewis's guide back to flight and freedom. They'll push each other higher, like they did when they raced each other.

Lewis lets go of his hurt and bitterness for the first time this whole conversation. He lets himself trust again. He reaches up and takes Nico's hand.

I wanted above all to show how toxic and hurt their dynamic was, but how enmeshed it was - how if both of them decided to take a little step forwards, healing was possible.

It's just the first little step towards the healing we've been seeing in the rest of the fic.

You can read more Icarus here.

Send me an ask with a scene or set of lines from any of my fics and I'll give you a director's commentary! Or, send in a ⭐star⭐ to have me select a section I've been dying to talk about!

#f1 #brocedes #brocedes fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 wingfic #f1 wing au #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #icarus #my post #writing #fanfic #replies

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