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chal-lelerc · 4 years

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ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

#max verstappen #charles leclerc #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #f1 #formula one #f1 grid #harry potter grid #finally done folks lordt #was anyone waiting for this idk but it's here #it's also glaringly obvious who i know less about but that too is something that one must excuse #whoops

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iridescentides · 3 years

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hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity.

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

#this took me embarassingly long to write #i cant help myself i literally think about this all the time #youre doing a great job with these questions secret santa!#dcoms #disney channel #answered asks #anons #gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

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k9zuha · 3 years

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jjk ep 21

THE EPISODE WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR!!!

i’m sorry guys I THINK MAHITO IS REALLY HOT IN LIKE A WEIRD WAY but please tell me if that is not okay i consider him an adult bc he acts like one and has a seemingly adult body i know he was born like 4 months ago but to me he is not a 4 month old

GETOU (kind of) HES SOO FINEEEEE BABE PLEASE the shirt... gives me ptsd from gojo past arc 😐 it’s been so long i missed u bae i can literally write a master thesis about him i think that he is prob the most well written character in jjk from his introduction as this righteous idealistic kid who was just introduced to jujutsu society to his downward spiral into a curse user after amanai and learning what jujutsu was really about and then his relationship with gojo who used him as his moral compass AND THEN MY GENERAL HATE FOR JUJUTSU SOCIETY WHO TREATS STUDENTS LIKE WEAPONS IN SITUATIONS ADULTS CREATE 🤬

UTAHIME IS SO SWEET I LOVEE HERRR and her technique is singing she is so pretty and she is so nice all her students love her ☺️☺️☺️ she is much better at teaching that gojo that is for sure 😑 like the way she ran out to protect miwa when she fell asleep.... vs the way gojo did absolutely nothing after nobara passed out 😐

HES SO CUTE BABEYYYYY I LOVE U why is he the only one with bandages they did him dirty like this BUT HIS FACT IS SO CUTEEEE HES TEACHING HIMSELF CURSIVE he’s so studious and did i mention cute yet I ALSO THINK HE IS SO COMPLEX like when he was saying megumi was the same as him and megumi kept shooting him down i was like no babe ur right (kinda) speak ur truth 🗣

INUMAKI IS ALSO THE CUTEST i’m painting his scene from op1 rn but it’s very hard and i want to give up but i won’t for him 🤞🏼 I LOVE THE WAY HE TALKS ITS CUTE and since he can’t say actual sentences he would totally leave u cute notes ☺️☺️and yuuji I LOVE HIMM it kinda annoys me how ppl say sukuna is hot and yuuji isn’t... as if they aren’t literally the same body like guys where is the itadori love 🤨⁉️ and his personality is much better he is so kind and happy despite what happened to him although i think he should get some emotional support so he has an outlet for his feelings like maybe his unyielding optimism is him repressing his feelings bc his friend died in front of him and he got like 2 days to recover before the exchange event 😐

HES SO PRETTY LOOK AT HIS LASHES mappa loves lashes megumis lashes are also so long and pretty this post has nothing of substance sorry if u thought meta discussion and theory crafting was going to occur

FINAL PIC GOES TO MY BOYFRIEND 🥰😍😘❤️🤞🏼noritoshi i love u u are so cute i know u arent a bad person u just follow orders bc u need to be head of ur clan so ur mom can have a good life i respect that i’m sorry megumi did not take ur circumstances into consideration and labeled u as a bad guy but don’t worry I UNDERSTAND YOU 🤞🏼 i’m attached to him bc he is like the only character close to my age T_T what am i going to do when i am like 20 and megumi is still 15 😐

#jjk spoilers #jjk #NO BC I LITERALLY LOVE ALL OF THEM #i was going to take more screenshots but me saying everyone was so cute would get repetitive #SPECIAL MENTION TO MIWA MY GIRL i love her mai u b1tch give her her mango back 🤬🤬🤬#INUMAKI: OKAKA 😡☝🏼#HES SO CUTE BAYBEEEEE #he’s so powerful ❤️ portraying so much emotion yet saying so little #also the like 3 second shot of just gojos face staring into the distance 😩#mappa has a favorite... i know they be putting ALL their budget into animating him and his eyes #his dreamy gorgeous beautiful de- sorry almost started simping for that garbage man for a sec🤕#I CANT HELP MYSELF HE LOOKED SO GOOOOD HIS BUTTON UP AND SLACKS HE WAS LIKE A BASEBALL DAD #IM IN LOVE 😍😚❤️😋😘🥺🥳🤩🧎🏻‍♀️#when he stepped on the ants laubjing like 🤣#he really is a menace he is an enemy of the public 🙄😑#no megumi pics bc i couldn’t even screenshot i couldn’t find the command shift 5 i was blinded by the sheer beauty of megumi in a baseball #uniform #the prettiest boy i loaf him #AND THE WAY HE WAS HANGING OUT WITH HIS DOGGY THE WHOLE TIME BAE UR SO CUTE STOP MY JEART CANT TAKE TJIS #the way this episode was literally the last time they were happy.....#not ready for the next season 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

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chobanist · 4 years

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i think the worst part about coming to terms with realizing my relationship with my ex wasnt as good as i thought it was is that idk i still miss him ? and want to be in his life?

1-2 months before he blew up on me, i told him i think we shouldnt be close friends bc it wasnt health for me. and he got rly cold and said he’s either close with his friends or they’re just not friends and at the time i felt so bad and socially inept. but looking back at it im just confused? for background: he doesnt really have friends? not a roast but he has so much trouble making friends, always has and i tried to encourage him to go out and make friends when we were together but he just wouldnt have any real luck with it. i, however, have a rly easy time making friends and i recognize i dont have to be super uber close with each of them to still call them my friends. i know it’s a little uncomfortable to have a conversation about ur friendship status, but he was just so cold n quick to shut me down and make me feel like i was the bad person

also the reason i wanted to not be close is bc when we broke up, he flipped out for 2 months essentially telling me he never liked my best friend and was always sus about it. and i was like excuse me??? we dated for three years... like three years... and he rarely brought up the issue with my best friend and when he did we’d discuss it but i guess that wasn’t enough? and i was so shocked bc he really *really* projected onto my best friend. like saying he was only my friend bc he liked me and was waiting for me to be single so he could take advantage of me and stuff like that. like?? and he would invite my best friend to places with us, post him telling me he didnt like him, and would blame me for his hatred towards my friend? of course im not going to bring my friend dude wtf, i feel uncomfortable

and he would tell me he loves me and misses me randomly (before big or important things which he would know about bc we talked so often). and i would ask him to talk about it after said important/big event and he would refuse, blaming me for not talking about it right then and there? and then he would get even angrier at me saying like he never loved me annd im like omg... bro...

it makes me mad bc i got over him romantically so long ago so my issue and frustrations arent rooted in like unresolved romantic feelings but in the mistreatment i would get from him romantically and platonically and how often he would just freak out on me post-break up and his weird double standards and i get so frustrated bc i feel like i got the least out of the whole relationship? he was very giving, like rly big on gifts n such. but he didnt respect my boundaries and i noticed my attitudes towards sex and dating are so warped and cautionary now and im like wow... is this... lasting trauma lol well thanks i guess

#ricky's personal posts #just me talking about my feelings for the 100th time coming to no new conclusion #just feeling sad and tbh kinda freaked as one does

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shakespearean-tc · 5 years

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Last day of school post?

Originally posted July 3rd, 2019 Ok so i guess it wasnt my official last dayof school but it was like a month ago and i decided to,,, talk about it??? since i never did and it was literally like ugh my heART this is basically more stuff about A so if you arent interested ignore this post

So,,, the last day that i really went to school was this thing that ,,,, idk if other schools do it but its lagoon day where the seniors go to Lagoon and like half the teachers go to chaperone, right??? So i got there early because I always get to school early and I saw a familiar mess of brown hair and i just got hype??? My heart practically did the happy emote and he turned around and smiled really big and he was like “M!!!! Hi!” and he waved and stuff then he went up the stairs because he was heading to the class he was subbing for (that was before class)

Later my friends came to school and i was just kinda sitting there being a dork and daydreaming and then i was like “OH YEAH A is here!!!” and my theatre friend was really happy yknow and we jsut talked for a while and i was like “man i wish he was subbing for my french teacher, but i know hes not because she didnt hire a substitue because she knew like no one would come” and so i got a little sad but yknow i knew id see him at lunch and stuff

well the bell rang and i headed up stairs to the french room and it was empty from what i saw so i popped my head in and GUESS WHO WAS SITTING AT THE DESK

YUP YOU GUESSED IT

So i played it cool because i can totally do that yknow and just kinda leaned against the doorframe and i was like “well, fancy seeing you here.” and he looked up and smiled again and laughed and he was like “are you following me?” and i laughed and sat down in my desk and i asked him how he was etc etc and we jsut talked for a while until the bell rang signaling that class was to start but??? no one walked in??? and so i was talking to him when two of my friends walked in and stuff and so we just?? sat and played cards all period long?? i say this but we actually (A and I) broke into song because I mentioned this musical I really love (Hadestown) and A kinda stared at me for a minute and his eyes went wide and the conversation went as such:

A: “Wait, you like Hadestown?” Me: “Yeah? I LOVE Hadestown.” A: “I… I love Hadestown too! I just didn’t know that anyone liked it.” Me: “Okay, wait- What’s your favorite song?” A: “Well, Way Down Hadestown is SUPER great, but the one I really love is Wait for Me or Hey, Little Songbird. I wish I had Patrick Page’s voice. What about you?” Me: “Hey, Little Songbird is literally one of my favorites. Also same?? I wish I could sing as good as anyone in the cast.” A: *he smiled and started singing it (his vocal range is tenor so he hiked up the key and we changed the tune a bit because yes)*

So we literally ran around the room singing Hey, Little Songbird and like, 17 other songs from miscellaneous musicals. My other friends joined in too and it was so much fun

Obviously, we were still in school, and so that class period had to end ;-; I had Physics next and I was whining to him how I really didn’t want to go. He turned to me and said “Listen. You’ve gotta go to class M. If you actually get permission from your teacher to come back, then fine. But I don’t want you to skip class because you missed me.” I agreed, begrudgingly and headed to Physics, which was literally across the hall.

I went in talked to my teacher and was back in the french room in like under 15 minutes

The classroom was empty and he was just sitting at the teachers desk playing pokemon on his frigging nintendo ds and i laughed and he looked up and was like “oh hey, i didnt think you’d be back” i told him my physics teacher told me i could leave since,,, she doesnt really like me and i had already done everything i needed to do like fr its the end of the school year why would she want me to hang out in her class for an hour???

anyway i hopped up onto the table and we just,,, talked??? about everything??

I told him I was super bummed about school ending and not being able to go to Drama class everyday. He told me he was worried because him and his girlfriend were having a lot of issues lately and he was struggling with knowing to stick it out or just break it off. I told him that I was not gonna influence his decision whatsoever, but that whatever he chose,,, he needed to keep in mind that HIS mental and physical health was the most important at this point. We eventually brushed that subject away because I told him I would be of no help at all bc,,, ive like never been in a healthy relationship so i didnt know what was right and what was wrong - i dont remember how but i think he asked me how class was going and what classes i was going to be happy to be done with and i was like “hOOOO BOI HISTORY CLASS fOR SURE” and he kinda laughed and was like,,, “what why”

and i just weNT OFF telling him how trashy of a class it was and that no one would pay attention and that my teacher would always rant about democrats and liberals and just say all this garbage about how trashy immigrants were and etc etc and he just sighed and he apologised that i had to deal with a teacher like that and we started to talk about some prick in that class that went off about how rape isnt rape if she doesnt outright say no

me and A just,,, bonded over mutual disgust for this kid haha

anyway after that i just kinda,,, decided to lay down on the table bc i was tired and i kinda sighed and stared at the ceiling. I think A could tell something was up with me because he asked me what was wrong and I kinda gave him a “nothing is wrong im fine” kinda mumbled response. of course this is A and he obviously knew i was lying so he asked me again and i jsut kinda started to choke up and I sat up with tears in my eyes. Immediately he was like, “Omg what’s the matter whats up” and I just,, broke down and told him I was super worried about my friend who he knows as well. I told him that I was stressed and that I felt like our friendship was mostly one sided. That I was just there because… I was the one that put everything into our friendship and instead of her giving AND taking as well, it was just her taking and taking and i was left in the dust. I basically poured my heart out to him and told him that I didn’t want to break things off because I didn’t want to hurt her but I told him that my mental health was suffering gREATLY. Of course, he took my advice and shoved it back into my face. It went something like this,,, A: “You need to take care of yourself. You. Come. First. You put everyone else before you, and that’s such an admirable trait, but you need to take care of yourself as well. Your mental health is in danger because you refuse to put yourself first. And you need to. At least, every once in a while. Anyone is lucky to have you care so deeply for them, but… you need to step back and be selfish for a while.” (I kind of flinched when he said selfish, because I have a big issue with that word, and I guess he noticed) “Why do you- You don’t like that word. Selfish. You don’t like it, do you?” Me: “I just… I’ve been called selfish a lot by my family and past friends and romantic… partners…? I don’t like it at all.” A: “You? Selfish?” *he laughs* “Bull. You’re one of, if not THE most selfless people I know. Listen to me. It is OKAY to be selfish sometimes. Not all the time, yeah. But you need to take care of yourself.” Me: “I just… I love my friends so much that I… I’d rather that I be miserable and they be happy, because… then they’re happy. Y’know?” A: *he smiles, but I think it was kinda a sad smile because his eyes looked a little tearful* “M. You have a heart of gold.That’s rare nowadays. In my opinion, it’s a blessing and a curse. You just need to learn to take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.” The conversation kind of… fizzled out after that emotional,,, discussion but we did talk about college and I asked him a lot about being a student teacher. The bell rang, we said goodbye and??? That was really it? I visited him at lunch and we ate and talked a lot more because I had a bunch of questions about college (i’ve been thinking about going to the same college that he is because they have a really good teaching program) but that was,,, pretty much it. School’s been over for a while and I just asjdfajf i miss him a lot this post was so long super super sorry haha have a good day i guess??? end of the post??? how do i finish this whatever goodbye yall haha

#I adore him #He's too good to me #I love him #teacher #student teacher #student #teacher crush #teacher x student #student teacher x student #tcc #tcc blog #tcc community

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zigsexual · 5 years

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ugh sarah i need your advice bc you're really smart about Life in general. my bf of a year broke up with me a month ago and i can't get over it, especially bc i see him almost everyday at college. he was really good to me, not abusive etc. and i just can't! get! over! it! i keep seeing him following other girls, liking their pics and i just want to cry all the time. will this ever stop? what would you do? :/

ok girl i am first of all SO sorry that it took me so long to respond to this, i genuinely have to do an archaeological expedition with my askbox because ever time new drama happens i just get buried in them but i wanted to be sure that i answered you because i know that feeling and its awful but it’s not forever, i promise.

one of the most important things you can do during this time is give yourself distance. you have to separate yourself from the idea that you can somehow fix this, because there is no way to fix another person’s feelings. one way to do that is to make it impossible to dwell on the past. throw out the shit you saved from your relationship, or if you can’t bring yourself to throw it out then put it all in a box and put that box somewhere hidden so that you can’t just drag it out whenever you feel sad. delete the texts and the messages that he sent you so you can’t go back and reread them and torture yourself with it. block his number if you have to, and for the love of god unfollow his social media, just give yourself that space that you need to move forward. if you keep picking off the scab of your relationship you will never be able to heal, so this is just putting a metaphorical bandaid on it to give you a barrier from that.

another thing to do is distract yourself. when you’re busy you can’t dwell. it’s why a lot of people who experience a painful tragedy go back to work very soon after; its comforting to have a routine and to be able to do something productive that keeps your mind off of the pain. when this happened to me i went places with my mom for a few days, just drove to the city and saw a movie or went shopping or got ice cream and yeah, a couple times i just cried and she sat with me and let me get it out but then we kept up with our day and just having something else to focus on made it so much easier to remember that i’m still my own person and i’m okay.

friends are so important during this time, don’t shut them out and don’t underestimate their value even if you feel like they can’t or don’t understand what you’re going through. some of the best friends i ever had are ones who i grew close with after a breakup, and we just spent time together and talked shit on the guy to vent out frustrations and then generally kept busy with other stuff that again, helped to take my mind off it.

the thing to remember is that feelings fade, pain is temporary, and although something might hurt forever it’s never the same kind of hurt as it is when you’re in the thick of it. when i first got dumped i spent weeks crying and feeling miserable and empty inside and thinking that life would never go back to the way it was. and now i’m so far removed from that i can’t even imagine ever crying over that boy again lmao like what the fuck was my dumb ass thinking even dating him….. literally i didn’t know anything about what or who i wanted in life and i have grown and changed so much since then, i don’t even recognize the person who thought she loved him.

you will be okay, i promise. you will move on. we’ve all been through this, almost every single person, so if you need someone to lean on then just remember you arent alone. ❤️

#ask #anon #sarah gives advice ig

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lesbianbruabba · 5 years

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Answer all the qs! Unless theres any you don’t want to do

Mobile so these are ugly sowwy

1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Well I just spent my night watching exurb1a that p much explains it

2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes?

3:If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

I’m pro legalization but if it’s an addiction obviously I’d try and prevent further damage. If it’s well controlled i don’t mind.

4:Do you find it easy to trust others?

I trust too easily so yeah

5:What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching exurb1a, or wanking, or looking at takeouts on Deliveroo

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my brother or one of my best friends

7:What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Cry

8:Are you close with your dad?

Fairly close imo. But we have a lot of opposing views and I have to try and overlook those.

9:I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

No?

10:What are you listening to?

Magic by Coldplay @samrull can suck my dick

11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Cum fanta lemon

12:Do you like hickeys?

YES unless they’re on my boobs then NO bc I used to have like massive ones and I couldn’t sleep on my back

13:What time do you go to bed?

Hahahhahahahaaha you must be new here

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

My mother

15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Yea

16:Do you always answer your texts?

Most of the time unless I’m tired

17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Like a few minutes ago with Iza bc I pester her a lot

19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

My little brother and all my best friends

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I went to bed yesterday morning but my last thought was ‘I love Tom Holland’

21:Is anyone else in the room with you?

No. I don’t think so

22:Do you believe what goes around comes around?

23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yes. On the 30th December I was probably hanging out with my brother.

24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

A few. Some are beyond repair, others are just lost chances.

25:In the past week, have you cried?

Lmao. Yeah. A lot.

26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

White with pink and blue argyle patterns

27:Do people ever call you by your last name?

No. I would hate that

28:Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Probably? Idk

29:Do you have a best friend?

I have 7 bitch

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

31:Who was your last call/text message from?

Iza

32:Are you mad at anyone?

Yeah. Pro lifers.

33:Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

34:How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

23? Idk I don’t remember

35:How many more days until your birthday?

Like 3 months minus a bit.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet?

Yeah! I’m going to Poland with my mum. Then I’m going home and going to suffer in the HK heat.

37:Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yes. Two, one is my brother.

38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

No. I’m an open book lol

39:Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I don’t think so??

40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

41:Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends on the age gap and the ages of the parties involved

42:Are you available?

Yes

43:How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

1 or 2

44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Nose ring but not septum. On the side of my nose

45:Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yes if they put effort into it

46:Do you regret anything?

A lot.

47:Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Turbulent is such a good song also I want thanos to raw me

48:Did you ever lose a best friend?

I’ve ghosted a best friend if that counts bc she’s toxic as fuck

49:Was your last kiss a mistake?

50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Bc they don’t like me back lmao and also ‘pursuing’ sounds kind of predatory??

51:Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Not really

53:What was the last thing you ate?

A weird cake that was sweet but I couldn’t pinpoint the flavor

54:Did you get any compliments today?

Yes

55:Where are you going on your next vacation?

June to Poland

56:Do you own anything from other countries?

Yeah I have dolls from Belgium and Poland and Japan and also some trinkets from other places

57:Are most of your friend guys or girls?

The majority are girls

58:Where have you lived most of your life?

Tseung kwan o

59:When was the last time you took a long drive?

I don’t drive :D

60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

61:Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No! I’m a good girl uwu

62:Who do you text the most?

Probably Iza

63:What was the last movie you saw?

Endgame but it’s a bad stream of it

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t have one

65:How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

No. You asked this question earlier

67:Do you curse around your parents?

Hell nah they’d ground me even though I’m nineteen

68:Are you happy with where you live?

Not really but it’s okay

69:Picture of yourself?

70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I’m monogamous

71:Have you ever been dumped?

72:What do you most like about making out?

It’s hot

73:Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Yes

74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Both?

75:What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Face

76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Iza or my brother’s gf

77:Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

79:What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Dogs

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

NOPE

81:Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

No lol have you seen what I look like

82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Depends on who the crush is and who I tell. Usually I tell my brother and maaaaaybe some of my more sensible friends

83:Do you miss your last sweetie?

???????????

84:Last time you slow danced with someone?

Uhh never. I wish I did though that sounds cool

85:Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Nope

86:How can I win your heart?

Make me a playlist and be honest with me. Also be funny

87:What is your astrological sign?

Leo but I’m more of a cancer

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating my takeout and watching exurb1a

89:Do you cook?

I make a good risotto and also potato dauphinois. But otherwise no

90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Don’t got one

91:If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Hells yeah @wlw hit me up

92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

The latter

93:What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

A nice face. I like older blondes when it comes to women and less muscley men. Generally for everyone, the more feminine the better.

94:Name four things that you wish you had!

Bigger eyes, a boney figure, fluency in all languages, more brain cells

95:Are you a player?

I play the ukulele

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

97:Are you a tease?

I plead the fifth

98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Yeah a few and they were all v sweet gals

99:Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I don’t know

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101:Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs!!!!

102:Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t think so

103:The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes

104:Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yes!! And I call everyone that except my brother he’s dickhead

105:If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No!!

106:Do you flirt a lot?

Depends on who you are and how well you know me

107:Your last kiss?

Last year

108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

109:Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Lmao no

110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

One of the people I’m crushing on probably. Or Zach Grace

111:Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

No, that’s an interesting question though.

112:Does someone like you currently?

Probably not. Again, refer to picture of me

113:Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah I always fuckin do

114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious relationships

115:Ever made out with just a friend?

Yes

116:Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Well I’ve only experienced the former so

Thanks for the questions sorry they’re ugly im also ugly but I’m sure u arent

#answered #anon

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shtbgs-blog · 6 years

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me: has 500 muses me: adds more

shush i am in a battle to have the most muses and just bc i have like 600 doesn’t mean i don’t want to play them a few of these are old old old muses I always have muse for and would love to start playing again.

under the read more you will find introductions for:

ambrose hartley ( bebe rexha ) colby blackstone ( sofia black-d’elia ) harley maddox ( miley cyrus ) brinley joseph ( chloe norgaard ) quinn james ( kehlani parrish ) daniel silver ( herman tommeraas ) lance nash ( justin bieber ) holden clover ( james franco ) & conor johnson ( nicholas hoult )

Do I hate myself? Yes I do.

AMBER ROSE “AMBROSE” HARTLEY looks an awful lot like BEBE REXHA. SHE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they're PLAYFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty ABSENT MINDED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HURRICANE by HALSEY.

Ambrose came from a really loving family tbh like, she had no problem with them at all in the slightest

her problem was she just couldn’t stay tame no matter how hard she tried, even when she was young she seemed to be full of energy and at the age of six they had adopted another little girl to be Amber’s best friend

For a long time they were the closest of friends, and there were times where Amber thought they’d be friends forever, but as they grew older she could see how different they really were, and how perfect she seemed to fit into Amber’s family

Better than Amber ever had, actually.

So at the age of eighteen she packed up her things and moved out.

She didn’t move far, at first, instead she decided to crash with one of her girlfriends but that honestly didn’t last long.

That was when she began to travel but no one ever seemed to match her wild and adventurous persona.

While she was gone she did do a lot of bad things you could say. One of those things being mixed up with a man who actually sold her for prostitution but you won’t ever catch her talking about that

During one of these wild adventures, though, someone made the joke that they thought her name was Ambrose because of how fast she speaks. Ever since then it just stuck. That was a few years ago ( 25 )

She just recently came back to Kola after deciding maybe it was time to go home and see her family and old friends. But who knows how long this will last.

COLBY BLACKSTONE looks an awful lot like SOFIA BLACK D’ELIA. SHE is TWENTY and while they’re LAID BACK, they have a tendency to get pretty IMPULSIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FAST CAR by KHALID COVER.

papa was a rolling stone..... legit

her dad is a rock star and she’s one of hadley’s siblings

her mom is just as wild and firey as her father with a legit passion for music and maybe did a few songs with him but she was most known for kind of being a hot mess ( courtney love vibes )

which is why it’s so fucking weird that colby is the way she is like? she is just this soft spoken chill individual who likes to take photos

she’s been her parents photographer for events since she was sixteen but she’s been dying to get away from them

so off to kola university it was, where she’s studying photography

she’s here to have a good time and she’s pretty chill

unless you get her stoned then she’s fucking wild

oh and when she’s drunk????

she’s basically a fucking rockstar just like her parents

HARLEM “HARLEY” MADDOX looks an awful lot like MILEY CYRUS. THEY are TWENTY FIVE and while they’re ACCEPTING, they have a tendency to get pretty OBNOXIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to CURSE OF CURVES by CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR.

Harley is here to steal your girl honestly they flirt with every single female they come into contact with it’s kind of overwhelming

but they arent strictly into females they just feel more comfortable around them

They have always been masc / the dom in every single relationship they’ve been in, romantic or platonic.

They just have always had that more dominant personality type which has lead to them getting into a great deal of fights

When they were seventeen they came out that they identify as agender and go by they/them pronouns but their parents just didn’t seem to get it???

it wasn’t super bad or anything it just lead it to be awkward in their house hold so Harley decided to leave at the age of eighteen after graduation

Ever since they’ve been living with their best friend ( wc )

They work in a liquor store where honestly they get to pick up on a lot of people and get invited to a lot of parties so they dig their life a lot tbh.

BRINLEY JOSEPH looks an awful lot like CHLOE NORGAARD. SHE is TWENTY-ONE and while they’re HELPFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty SKETCHY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to RAINBOW by KESHA

. oh my god this is my oldest muse I’m bringing in so far and I’m actually writing a book based off her life so there’s a strong ass chance this is gonna be long and I’m gonna have the absolute most muse for her because i know her so well

so basically when brin was 16 her father convinced her to start dealing drugs for her in school because it was like the easiest way for him to make money since so many people in LA, California were smoking pot esp in high school

And her dad has always been like a brodude more than an actual father figure and like she agreed because hey she got to pocket some of the cash and she was able to live her best life right

wrong at seventeen she actually fell in love with someone while her father was gone for a full fucking month and he had the audacity to come back pissed off at her for pulling away from him / he also may be on the run from the cops bc he almost got busted but he was mad at her for the former

so he took her away from la and they began their travels on the road

she never even got to finish high school

Basically she lived in an RV with her father traveling from city to city selling drugs just to get by

Her father had a way with talking to people that made it easier for them to sell and what not but soon, her father’s connection ran dry

She was nineteen the first time one of her fathers friends cornered her in the small RV bedroom and no matter how loud she yelled, he never came.

He swore it’d never happen again.

Three months later it was an almost routine practice and Brinley realized she never meant anything to him

She was too scared to leave and still to this day hasnt

She’s currently living in Kola, California but she’s staying in a motel room

Her father was able to score some drugs when they got there so she’s currently selling but she’s scared when the drugs run out he’s going to turn back to the old routine.

Give me some new friends for her

give me some people who will show her she can leave her father and stay in kola forever

QUINN JAMES looks an awful lot like KEHLANI PARRISH. SHE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re SELFLESS, they have a tendency to get pretty MESSY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THE FEELING by JUSTIN BIEBER.

Quinn is such a mess of a human being I swear to god

She would give her left foot to a stranger if they needed it which is wild because she thinks thats her best attribute

NO IM JOKING BUT SERIOUSLY THIS GIRL WOULD GIVE ANYONE HER WORLD and she’s so quick to fall in love with people it’s absolutely disgusting

but she’s just the kind of person who thinks too far ahead but she’s such a fucking optimist she feels like everything will work out and nothing could POSSIBLY EVER GO WRONG!

wow is she constantly wrong it’s a problem but listen you can’t get her down no matter how hard you try

she’s new so thats legit all i know about her

DANIEL SILVER looks an awful lot like HERMAN TOMMERAAS. HE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re HELPFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to I’LL SHOW YOU by JUSTIN BIEBER.

Oh my god this wild fucking animal right here was well, at first he was cosima silver’s nephew but now since i have them in the same group he’s her cousin and lives with her in the apartment above her little shop

This did not happen easily, oh no, he comes from a family of very strict parents who actually exiled Cosima’s family from their lives at a young age because they believed in her ‘gifts’ and they thought they were crazy

Daniel, though, thought the exact opposite. When they were young and before the split happened Cosima would talk to Daniel about her gifts and he would reel in them and he literally loved it so much

But when they were cast out of the family Daniel sort of realize just how horrible his family actually was??? and how different he was????

Sadly his dumb ass was honestly stuck there until a month ago where he finally packed up his shit and completely bailed on his family then moved in with Cosima and he’s been here ever since

He works in her shop as a tarot card reader or rather, he’s trying to learn how to do it. He has literally no gifts but he wants to help people and maybe start to learn from Cosima

Personality wise he’s my big pansexual mess who is flirting and messing around with just about everyone every chance he gets and he just lives for making out and hooking up and having a good fucking time okay

LANCASTER “LANCE” NASH looks an awful lot like JUSTIN BIEBER. HE is TWENTY-SIX and while they’re RELIABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty IRRITABLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HOLY GRAIL by JAY Z FEAT. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

lets start off with the fact that Lance is the oldest of SEVEN CHILDREN his mother being the common denominator

Lance was the first born and her most prized son out of all the kids but as he got older, and she started having so many suitors, and started toying with various hard drugs he sort of lost that connection with her and was forced to grow up way too young.

When he was ten, he already had three siblings, each one of them born a year or two after the other and Lance was the only one who could really take care of them. Him and the second oldest were often left in charge of the kids but they didn’t want much to do with all the kids and Lance sort of understood that.

When he turned nineteen and the second oldest was eighteen they left town without so much as a letter which only forced Lance to become the actual father the whole family needed.

His life has always been about the kids. He now has siblings ranging from 3 to 25 and he usually keeps tabs on all of them.

But ya boi has to make money some how, so, he’s dedicated any time he can get away from the youngest kids to doing what he does best and thats babysitting drug addicts or being a designated driver.

He personally does not do drugs but he knows what to do and how to take care of people when they’re tripping so he has become the druggie babysitter of Kola, California.

He’s honestly a really cool dude who is actually really fucking helpful all of the time

He just gets really god damn moody sometimes and wants to punch people in the throat but think about it his day starts at 6 AM with 2 children and 2 tweens, you’d be moody as hell too by 9 pm while driving some drunk asshole home

HOLDEN CLOVER looks an awful lot like JAMES FRANCO. HE is THIRTY-NINE and while they’re BALANCED, they have a tendency to get pretty FICKLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to A WALK THROUGH HELL by SAY ANYTHING.

his gif doesn’t match my aesthetic at all or his aesthetic but IDGAF BECAUSE IM ALIVE FOR IT

ANYWAY Holden is a cop:tm: he’s been idolizing them his entire life and now he’s just a good guy cop who sometimes lets people off with a warning and is that ‘cool cop’ around town like

all the kids love him, even criminals like him he’s just really charismatic and seems really chill????

ugh i have literally virtually no information for him other than he was divorced and it’s gonna be one of the many wcs i write up and submit but if someone wants an ex husband who gets too focused on his job all the time hmu for sure

he also has a younger brother who may or may no t better be dave franco

CONOR "CJ" JOHNSON looks an awful lot like NICHOLAS HOULT. HE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they're COMPASSIONATE, they have a tendency to get pretty RECLUSE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IDK LOVE by JEREMY ZUCKER.

ok he’s not a zombie in his main verse but like if u think for ( 1 ) second im not turning him into a zombie for the zombie verse ur WRONG!!!!

but lets focus on mainverse cj and talk about zombie cj later

Conor has always been a nice and compassionate kid and honestly, he got married at 23 to the love of his life

But after three beautiful years he lost his wife to a car accident and he hasnt been the same since

a lot of people in town look at him like this poor broken bird because ever since his wife died he hasn’t been able to be like a normal human being

he doesn’t go out

he barely goes to work

he’s going to lose his house

he’s just in a deep deep deep depression and honestly it’s actively sad

but he’s still nice and charming and flirty at times but it’s very rare

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saintkimora · 6 years

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well......here is the unfortunate conclusion

so i was with brandon on memorial day and we had a conversation that has me thinking i might have to end things w him

it was a nice day at first, i brought him flowers and he was so flustered it was sooooooo cute and we had sex and then we went about the rest of the day cuddling and talking and stuff. then we were gonna go get food so we were washing our hands and i think he jokingly asked me if i had sidehoes or if he was a sidehoe or something and i was like ofc not. then i asked him if he had any sidehoes and he kept avoiding the question in a humorous way and then we ended up having a serious, very eye opening conversation

he said he thinks i might have different “””expectations””” than he does. and i talked about when we might be official since weve been dating for 4.5 months now and he was saying how he wasnt ready for a relationship and that he doesnt really believe in commitment until marriage (crackhead) like how are you supposed to reach the point of marriage if you wont even commit beforehand

he said he doesnt want commitment bc he doesnt like feeling tied down (of course) and he was saying like right now hes happy with me but if he commits to me he feels like then hes gonna start wanting other guys, kinda of like a wanting what you cant have kinda deal (hate it)

he said he used to not understand open relationships but now he gets why people do it. he was like “your relationship with everyone in your life is unique and different, and just because i might have something with another guy, that doesnt mean i care about you any less or that hes better than you, my relationship with the other guy would be different than what i have with you” at this point i wanted to fucking open the window and just step out and fall to my death i REALLY did not like where this was going

at this point he had mentioned that he wants the freedom to talk to other guys (and i had the fact he was still on grindr in the back of my mind) so i decided to ask him i was like are you talking to any other guys? and he was like “see this is what im talking about like you have the expectation that i shouldnt be talking to other guys” and i was like “well are you talking to any? and how do you define talking? like if youre at a bar and some guy comes up to you and strikes up a conversation obv thats fine w me like thats just being nice” and he was like “thats not what i mean by talking” so i was like ok fuck my drag right

and again he just talked about how he didnt wanna be tied down and wanted to go slow (the slow part i understood at the beginning of us dating but like sis....its been 4.5 months like at this point youre just wasting my time if you wanna just have fun with no commitment)

and it sucks bc the day before memorial day when i was having a rough time. it was bc he was annoyed at me a few days ago and he was being kinda distant and ignoring my texts a little bit. which isnt too serious objectively but it was making me very nervous bc it was reminding me of my experiences with joel and caleb so i was very on edge and i was nervous literally the whole day and it didnt help that i saw he was going out and drinking somewhere on his snap story. so i just got really paranoid about him possibly meeting another guy while hes out and drunkenly hooking up with him or going out with him or getting romantically involved or something. which is obv not rational thinking on my part but i cant help that i get so worried, esp after joel and caleb. if we were official i would feel more secure but since we arent bfs yet he technically could go out and be with another guy without breaking any official rules so thats why im nervous, if we were official i would still get nervous sometimes but i would feel a little better about it at least

and this has happened a lot while we’ve been seeing each other. and one of these days i wanted to bring it up in convo with him so i could hopefully get some reassurance and feel more secure and stuff. i was considering even bringing it up when we were together yesterday esp since he likes when i show vulnerability but after that conversation we had? i already have my answer. i know if i did bring it up to him he would just be like joel and be like “well i cant make promises” since commitment is SUCH a big issue to him apparently. which leads to why i might have to end things w him bc i really dont want to keep living in fear like this i hate it

im just over it like i was really upset by that conversation like he wasted FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS of my time as well as getting me attached to him like if he doesnt want a relationship he shouldve told me that upfront so i couldve stopped seeing him after like the 2nd date or something

but im also confused bc like 2 months ago or so we were joking about guys i dont remember it too much but at one point i was (obv jokingly) like “oh fine ill just go out and get a new man instead” and brandon got like a little upset about it he was like “if youre not gonna take our relationship seriously dont waste my time bc im looking for someone who wants to work toward a serious relationship” yet now hes saying this like what is the truth

so yeah thats p much it :/ i was very disappointed by that conversation and i think he could tell but i said everything was fine bc i didnt want to say anything decisive in the moment bc i like to give myself a few days to think on big things like that. but really idk wtf else to do now :( esp since unfortunately...........i love him so like no matter what i do im gonna end up hurting myself

#personal

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matazz · 3 years

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entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

#roy endoza writing #roy endoza #writing

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gaming-succubus · 6 years

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Hey can I ask about your relationship? I just recently got into a relationship almost 3 months ago and it is sort of long distance. He lives an hour away but we have no way to see each other because we both cant drive. We only see each other once a month due to scheduling conflicts. I'd love to hear about your relationship! It seems long distance but I'm not sure.. just really curious. I hope this isn't weird? You aren't obligated to answer if you don't want to! Sorry if I'm intruding!

lol oh no youre not intruding!

ben and i are long distance, youre correct. umm ah idk where you want me to start? ahah, we just recently met up for the first time last week (i really cant believe its been a week already), and it was perfect. its hard once you spend time with them and go back to doing what you were doing before. but! were making do. if something comes up with you two, make tiny online dates! thats what me and ben have been doing prior to setting up real life ones. watch a movie together on rabb.it, play games together if u like them, etc!

bens my best friend first and my boyfriend second, and that really helps. hes such a dork that i cant even explain to you how many times i roll my eyes (lovingly) at him bc he does such dorky things. hes v supportive of everything i do and vice versa. the best thing is to be open and honest with each other, feelings (that i have a hard time with sometimes, im used to keeping things bottled even after two years; just how i got conditioned by previous bfs), thoughts, concerns, and itll all work out!

cherish the times u get to see them, the wait is always worth it! it makes each kiss/hug/hand holding that much more special n itll be worth the pain once u 2 arent long distance anymore! gl ♥

#Anonymous

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chelsanitys · 7 years

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anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

#Anonymous #vm #fs

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shatteredheart-girl-blog · 7 years

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hey... just if you have time... I want to tell you my storie...

Val is a girl who had been in trouble looking for love, well not trouble but it has been hard for her.. her first experience with lesbian loe was good yeah but the girl didnt stay and started to behave in a crazy manner, so she had to left "there she goes, I lost a friend too" she hated herself. She tought that probably because of her age at that time was like this... maybe when she get older could be someone there. She remain lonely... Years later she met a girls in a party, like a love movie, Val was staring at a girl and the girls stared at Val too, both smiled. Val got so blushed and nervious like always, she was a shy girl but she always tried her best to not be. At the end of the party the mysterious girls came closer to her to say good bye... none of the girls to that with her (of course not) only her and Val tought that could be a signal. Two months later she would see her again at the beach and hang out with her but one day when they were talking the phone of the girl rang "oh sorry its my boyfriend" heh.. Val just smiled a little and tought "yeah... it was so much beautiful to be true...". She remain lonely again... Years passed, at that time Val didnt care about lond distance relationship, she always tought that she could save money and travel or move there and stay with her partner (if she had one...) She met a beautiful person in a art site, her name was Hannah, she was funny and direct but just when Val tought "I could ask her if she wants so be with me... or " she was taken. "Well... isnt weird I was expecting that, she is cute... but I have her as a friend at least" he talked to her daily until one day Hannah stopped. And She remain lonely again... Val had a online friend who was in love of her for a long time ago, Mar, she live a little far than Hannah and she had tried to tell Val, her true feelings but Val its really dumb to noticed. Years later (at 2015) Mar told to Val her true feelings. Val admire her friend and love her in a specific way (friendship) but also tought "could this work? we have different tastes in everything but...could this work right?" Val say yes and both started a long relationship... It was her first relationship... long distance but it was, until the true self of Mar started to appear. They were friends from 10 years... but Val didnt know this side of Mar.Mar started to get mad about everything, cricitqued Val in everyway, her job/career, her tastes, her games or movies, the way she lived... she wanted to change her so bad and it made it... Val accepted everything thinking "I gues...this is how it works right" she loved her but at the same time she felt so lonely and without trust.. even for herself"no, you cant watch these kind of movies they are for kids you are an addult, no you cant go with your friends, they are toxic, that career you took only will give you less money, switch, do this.. do this, I love you and couples do this.... it got worse... "you dont have friends... those dont exists.. you use people, at a job nobody gonna be your friend.."Val got so hurted... Val hurted Mar too trying to defend herself but it always was Val's fault, "I dont want someone like you, who plays and watch animated movies with me, a person who dont do anything for herself, a person that cant remember anything" Val got so depressed, she couldnt listen to her toughts, she was trapped and she couldnt escape..."this is how it works... why it does hurt" she was so submissive... for Val when you love someone it doesnt matter how they think or what they like, she would accept her gf and never gonna try to change it... but Mar doesnt accepted her.. Val started to feel so afraid of telling her how was her day "she critique everything I do.." Does something good came from this? yes a little, with Mar, Val could learn a lot of things, Mar helped her with other stuff but this, the injuries marked Val forever...Val stopped trusting in herself, had doubts about everything.. One day Hannah appeared again, she had left that partner and had another. Val felt a little sad again but it was specting that...Two years later Val finnally left that Toxic relationship.Mar tried to convince her to not but Val just run and didnt wanted to listen... she was in a cage...trapped and now she started to feel free... "come with me... please I would change, I would do it, If you came back you can go out with your friends" At that time Val felt she hadnt friends... she never came back, her injuries still open and hurts sometimes bc when someone told you that you suck at everything, that you are fat, lazy, cant stand in a job for more of a week it hurts, that you cant remember anything, that you are the worst person ever that you arent capable of remember anything... it hurts it hurts a lot... for like a week Val cried a lot in silence and remain lonely and depressed for so long... She was so afraid.. so afraid of everything, she even started to think about suicide (she still thinks about suicide) until one day Hannah told her that she left again her partner...and they talked more and more. Val felt happy just talking to Hannah, she become more happy and for a momment her injuries were fine, she started to recover from the depressed state. Hannah told her "I am interested in you and I got a little jelaus when you told me that you were in a relation ship... " Val almost started to cry again because she was so interested in Hannah too... She WOULD save mone to be with her that doesnt matter, she did the same with Mar but...she never took the flight and she lost ll the money... its only patience... Every day that passed, Val talked with Hannah and she was so happy... so happy...until..One day Hannah told her that both of them just went from a horrible relationship before and told to Val to take her time, she wanted to be alone for a momment before start another relationship.. Val understood... and didnt say anything back, "y-yes...we need time.." and she walked away... it passed 1... 2....3....days.... 2 weeks... 1 month.... 2 months.... Val remembered Hannah's texts "I like you too... " and then "We need time to be alone for a momment"... Val tried to contact her again... just to discover that Hannah started another relationship with someone just 6 days after ask for time to Val......Val's Heart shatered... her depression came back, that hurt... came back, her bad toughts cae back too "you are uselesss, you are so inmmature, lazy, good for nothing..." "why... why did you to this to me... Hannah you ...you told me to wait and I wait... I was saving money I was... I wanted to be with you since I met you, I wanted so hard, you told me to wait and I waited for so long and you just got another partner.... " she cried when she text her, tears in her eyes... nothing could stop it... crying in silence trying to not be heard by anyone... "you hurt me... you broke my heart... I cant believe it... but okey... its... fine" "I didnt wanted to hurt you" Hannah said "Im sorry this... it happened... it just happened" ...Hannah told her "...just happened... you told me that you like me... you made me feel so happy... I am hurt and I still hurt... but its okey... I get it.. I wish the best for you... be happy with that person... " and Val remain lonely, broken...depressed again... This is how I been living for almost 6 or 9 years since I was 16.... I am Val... I feel everyday this pain, my injuries from my first relationship still there.. hurting me... "you cant support or give advise to a person pls dont do it" "yeah... *sarcasm* the best gf of the year" ..... "fatty.." still hurt... a lot I cry at night... a lot I always think that I would never be able to love someone or... maybe yes but I would never find someone then...Hannah and I ...we still being friends... last time she told me that she left that person... but yesterday she told me that they come back... *sigh* ...... I been trying too to met someone via Apps... but I feel its like "yeah lets see the Meat Cathalog, lets see who wants sex" I dont want just sex... I want to meet someone... a girl who likes videogames like me.... who wants to watch movies (animated or not) with me.... who likes hugs... and doesnt want me to change... the sex will come later really ....I feel so lonely since I have memory I think... its its hurt for me... to wath a couple.. bc I feel I will never had a partner...I want a hug... I want to cuddle and sleep with ...a girl, ...a girl that would tell me "calm, everything its okay... nothing is gonna happen Im not going to hurt you.. I love you"

-Val

#sad #sadness #depressed #depression #crying #I cant #helpless #fat #I hate my life #I feel so useless..#I #always think about dying someday #sleep and never wake up again #I dont matter I guess #my depression have been growing up since I was 16...#this is my sad storie #dying #dying inside #death

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