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prinnamon · 29 days

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@spiderh0rse has been posting some fantastic notes while it makes its way through Freeman's Mind, so i got inspired to do the same for Mind of Ryan today! it's a shorter series, so here's my thoughts on all eight episodes plus extras. was not expecting to sit down and watch it all today but i was overcome by the need to do so. you know how it is.

WIKI

full name: Ryan Harrison Sullivan

date of birth: August 25, 1976

has received HEV training

working in "mechanics & AI development"

EPISODE 1

listening to "Anywhere But Here" from the album The Story Of The Mechanical Man by Behavior at the start of Episode 1, meaning the series must take place after its release in May 2001.

drives to work ("helicopter rides are too expensive," so apparently the employees have to pay out-of-pocket to fly out to the facility)

didn't sleep well the night before. yet another mindverse character who refuses to get good sleep or eat a nice meal

wears his lab coat all the time even outside of work because he thinks it makes him look "cool as fuck" and because it's very comfortable. people think he's weird for this.

he used to live in michigan

one time a raccoon bit into the power lines and this knocked the power out for the entire town he lived in

willing to shrug it off when people start talking like sephiroth in his mentions say concerning shit. very "haha ok whatever you say man"

barney is his roommate. ryan thinks of him as lazy. barney relies on ryan as his alarm but ryan is not above giving the fuck up since barney is a heavy sleeper

excited at the sight of a mechanical keyboard (based)

appreciator of air conditioning. his college (presumably UChicago; see Episode 6.5) had no a/c.

ryan knows barney gets pissed about it when he finds a safety violation like a lack of handrails on a staircase or walkway, but he never reports these violations

just. casually hops over a counter to throw something away in an inaccessible trash can. tells people to get over themselves about it when they react negatively

EPISODE 2

ryan works in sector G as a robotics engineer

wonders if he's "the only young scientist here," so probably either doesn't know Gordon, Felix, Stark, and Ramirez or is only referring to his department

KNOWS COLETTE GREEN. LIKES HER. THINKS SHE'S COOL. (based)

"she is just the right amount of crazy." is a little younger than her

hasn't been late to work often.

could live without his break, but it would suck.

thinks the transit station is "unnecessarily huge"

can get a little mean in a tense situation (calls a guard a "dumbass")

mind goes blank in a crisis ("i just don't even know what to fucking think right now!")

EPISODE 3

his chest hurts when he wakes up. presumably from cpr.

"my brain isn't really registering everything that's happening. i feel like i should be panicking, but i'm not."

hates roaches. does know they're a vital part of the ecosystem and that his hatred is irrational but hates them anyway

"hi, rat."

notices his lab coat is dirty. he's unsure why he's fixated on that when he has bigger problems.

cold and wet and NOT having fun!

illustrated end card shows him holding his flashlight up over his shoulder

EPISODE 4

gets attacked by a headcrab, which presumably gives him the little cut on his right cheek seen in every end card from this episode forward!

uncurious about the aliens. does NOT want to know what they are. just get him outta there

knows everything about the tau cannon. recites facts about it to calm himself down. i think his mental "happy place" is just a rotating 3D model of the tau cannon. which is incredibly real. also he calls it the tau cannon (based)

his plan for today, if he'd actually gotten to work, was to "see if [he] could apply a self-limiter to the alt fire to prevent it from overcharging."

he wishes he was in his lab right now.

his reaction to seeing a dead guard lying next to their equipment is "oh, hey, a bulletproof vest!" and he takes it and puts it on with NO hesitation. he then immediately starts searching the corpse for other useful shit. and this is like. one of the first dead bodies he came across. really just getting right to it. who needs to descend into apathy when you can save time by starting there?

able to recognize that this situation is incredibly fucked-up but not really able to engage with that fact emotionally.

it feels wrong to him to kill the headcrab zombies. he recognizes that they probably used to be his coworkers. after taking out two of them, he resolves not to do it anymore.

EPISODE 5

his black mesa-issued flashlight is a shake-to-charge light.

barnacles are "ceiling tongues."

"man, that thing killed Bob. he was two days from retirement. how could you do that?" i have no idea if he's being serious and he recognized the construction worker who got killed by a barnacle here or if he's making a joke to dispel the horrors—oh. yeah. he flat out says he has no clue who that guy was

his robotics lab is in the biology building! he doesn't understand this, but he also doesn't mind. (Heather's a biologist! maybe he knows her, since they work in close proximity.)

ditches the vest for improved mobility.

chuckles in disbelief after managing an impressive feat of acrobatics

says electrical failures and brief power outages were regular occurrences even before the incident

takes a snickers bar off a dead guard

could go for a pizza right now

can't rule out that the facility's haunted

"what the fuck is that? wait. that reaction is not suitable. allow me to rephrase: AAAAAAAAHHH!" hmm. i see. makes another tally mark on my "Ryan's first instinct in this situation is not to panic, and he only really does so because he thinks it's what a reasonable person would do right now" list

EPISODE 6

lived out of a storage unit for a while when he had no other option. he packed all his stuff in a rented storage unit and hid his bed behind the stacks of boxes. it was always miserably cold in there and he did Not have bedding. being in the drainage canal reminds him of what that was like

acknowledges he may have to fight the headcrab zombies eventually but "just can't stand the idea of beating them to death" because of how violent and brutal it feels

really doesn't wanna leave the guard with the broken leg to die but reluctantly accepts his weapon when he says he's "never gonna make it"

even with a gun, he'd rather run from danger. gotta conserve ammo.

"why is it so difficult to leave the building?!"

impressed that the guy in the control room hacked the announcement system. tried to do so for April Fools last year but failed to bypass the firewall

panics and accidentally kills(?) mister control room by shooting the bullsquid attacking him with a shotgun, sending both the bullsquid and the guy flying out the window. feels really truly quite bad about that.

EPISODE 6.5

ryan went to the university of chicago!

ryan drinks squirt (the grapefruit-flavored soda)

in 1995 he spent $1500 on a giant fucking heavy ass laptop while absolutely not having the money to do so. he regrets nothing. he love computer

EPISODE 7

OH RYAN HAS A CUSTOM 3D MODEL. OKAY. SICK. ANIMATED OPENING.

has a cell phone on him

injured his leg pretty bad when the elevator fell but doesn't seem to have lost consciousness at any point. yeowch!

concerned about how the pain in his ears from firing a gun in a vent is significantly less than the pain earlier from the houndeyes' soundwave. wonders if he's sustained permanent hearing damage.

his tune has changed regarding vents. hated being in the first one he had to crawl into. now they're a nice change of pace, because he at least knows larger enemies can't follow him in and chase him.

barnacles ceiling tongues are now "tongue monsters." he addresses one as Chunky the Tongue Monster.

a little sad/guilty watching as guards fight for their lives and he ascends on an elevator towards the surface. "this whole situation is just so fucked, man. you just kinda have to look after yourself, and if anybody gets hurt or dies, you just have to leave them. damn."

his phone is a Nokia 3300B. it is a thing of beauty.

once he gets high enough to have cell service, he gets a call from Tod Arlen, who's been trying to call him for hours. Ryan says Arlen's "the last person [he] expected a call from."

arlen has already escaped with Kate by this point!

arlen warns ryan that he's heard some black ops chatter and they plan to blow the place up. ryan is silent about this until arlen's like "are you there?" and ryan very calmly/dismissively says "yeah. well don't worry about me, man. im almost at the parking garage so i'll be fine :)"

they make plans to meet at the clayton airport when ryan gets out. (and, over the phone with arlen, ryan does seem pretty confident it's a "when" situation, not an "if.")

ryan seems calm and casual throughout the phone call but lets himself freak out about the gravity of the situation as soon as he hangs up. ("i'm going to fucking die.")

EPISODE 8

the wiki suggests that an eighth episode was in production at one point, but there's no such thing on YouTube unless you count an unlisted video called "Shotgun SFX Test - Mind of Ryan Episode 8"

there's an end card for ep8 showing ryan having survived being shot. i don't believe episode 8 got made. i think the illustration is all there is.

there is a speedpaint of the episode 8 end-card tho!

"STARTING OVER."

"the only way mind of ryan will come back is through the form of a reboot, and i don't know when or if that's going to happen."

#prinna's posts #prinna's machinima notes #mind of ryan #ryan sullivan #ryan h sullivan #i like this fella. i feel like he and stark would get along ok.

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iliektehhaxs · 3 months

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been brainstorming fun ideas like an assassination on barnabas’ spouse (for whatever reason, monarchs have been killed for such stupid reasons across history) and whilst barnabas n his roundtable are so alert it mathematically wouldn’t be able to get far as an attempt:

it would be so yummy how barney/bene/sleipnir react. all of them are so itching to be the ones to get vengeance if there was even a slight nick on wifey, like actually the only time bene/sleipnir momentarily don’t listen to barnabas bc they’re so intent on avenging with their own hands

you’d be like constantly tailed by sleipnir at least for a good couple months. if not 4 sleipnirs, and him as a giant horse.

It’s so incredibly improbable that you’d get so much as a scratch on you but for funsies sake, let’s pretend 😈

There’s been an attempt on your life, in broad daylight of all places. Of course it would happen when there was low security, when all three of your closest protectors had left on their own missions.

When word reached them of the attack they all abandoned their post without hesitation. Odin and Sleipnir rode through the skies in a cloud of ash, while the Wardeness of the Wind was seen flying through the air in what was sure to be gale force winds.

Even though the royal guards quickly leap into action Lord Tharmr was not satisfied, for the sole reason that you were attacked in the first place. As you lay asleep in your bedchambers, they all return, and stew in the hatred that bubbles beneath the surface.

Benedikta

How the hell could this have happened?

She promised her Lord she’d keep you safe

But more importantly, she promised you

And some bastard decided to turn her into a liar

She peeks into your bedroom, watches you sleep soundly

You fall into the sheets so comfortably, as if you didn’t just have an attempt on your life

To know that you could’ve died, that she would lose one of her closest friends again

It makes her bare her teeth in anger, makes the wind inside her pick up and turn into a tempest

She will find the bastard that did this, sooner rather than later, and when she does she will mount his head on the front of the courtyard.

Sleipnir

Sleipnir usually has something to say, some kind of quip even in the heat of battle

But today, he is silent.

He stands watch at his lady’s door, unmoving, unblinking.

The facade of his humanity is lost, and left in its place is the eikon, the eight legged horse of destruction

Already he has his clones analyze the scene of the crime, question any witnesses, gather all the information he can as to why this happened and how

He will stay and wait for you to awaken, and the moment you do he shall give you a personal entourage of protection, while he leaves to find the son of a bitch who dared touch you.

Barnabas

There is not a word that has been invented yet to describe how he feels

It’s as if the very sky itself darkens to reflect his mood, the entire country aware that their king has arrived by the pitch black clouds that hang overhead

And they darken even more when he steps inside to see you bedridden

His fingers brush against your cheek, making sure that his eyes don’t deceive him, that you are in front of him, warm, breathing, alive

He can’t imagine what he would do if you died, he just can’t. The thought of it alone makes him clench his fist until his nail pierce his skin.

There is no place, no hovel, no crack or crevice that can save the man who did this. He lives on borrowed time, the idea that he still breathes air is enough to make him sick.

And the moment he is found, he is taken directly to Barnabas. There is no court, no judge, and certainly no justice.

Sleipnir drags his body roughly across the floor, the harshness of it leaving his knees in tatters, a trail of blood behind him

Benedikta watches amused, kicking him the moment he slumps over, and then kicks him again for good measure

The moment the man enters the large stone doors, bloody and bruised, he is never seen or heard from again.

But rumors spread, rumors of agonized wails and desperate pleas of forgiveness between the castle floors

If anything is heard, no one pays attention to it

And if the three of them exit the dungeons bloody, a grin on their face, nothing is said about that either

#robo speaks #ask #final fantasy xvi #barnabas tharmr #sleipnir harbard #benedikta harman

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a-treatise-on-velociraptors · 3 months

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What was up with the nearly ubiquitous childhood visceral hatred for Barney the Dinosaur. What was up with the dozens of independently evolving songs about murdering Barney and flushing him down a toilet. Why was the purple dinosaur in particular such a scapegoat for the elementary school desire to be cooler and more grown up than the stuff we watched as babies/toddlers/kindergarteners.

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akallabeth-joie · 9 months

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The Blue Castle, Chapter 31

The pacing this chapter opens with is brilliant. We fly through the autumn and into winter in half a chapter, with whole months summarized in a paragraph of natural beauty and wonder. Compare with the opening, when Valancy's life dragged ("time flies"/"I think it crawls"), and it took four chapters for her to wake up, eat breakfast, and get out of the house.

Skating and snow-shoeing sound much more fun than being sick all winter. The contrast between the Stirlings forcing Redfern's nostrums on Valancy, and Barney literally throwing it out of the house could not be clearer. I also dare say, given her specific hatred for the liniment, that her willingness to buy it for Barney's cold is a sign of true affection.

For how much he professes to dislike John Foster's books, it's nice that Barney picked one up for Valancy, and her willingness to keep quoting at him makes it all seem more like a game between the two of them where Barney's exaggerating being a grump. Grumpy gnome man!

And we have some Stirling flashback negative points. Cousin Stickles gets more unique sentences, though I'll give her a pass on the gargling since that sounds like something she can't help [or does Mrs. Stirling insist that putting a finger on one's upper lip also prevents that?], and just get -2 for making Valancy rub in her liniment, and for whining about coal prices. Mrs. Stirling has three vague complaints (she spends the whole winter "probling, questioning, ignoring"), which, though less specific than Cousin Stickles's, are getting a full -3 for the shear multitude of incidents they seem to represent. Uncle Benjamin gets -1 for lying to a child (he didn't have to get Valancy skates for Christmas, but he shouldn't have told her he would and then reneged). Cousin Georgiana gets another +1 for the dandelion wine.

Also, can I just say that the expectation that Valancy remember who got what Christmas presents last year (in order to avoid repeating) really bothers me, because she apparently just keeps receiving the same narrow range of practical items (rubbers, undervests). No one has to give her fun presents (though it would be a kindness), but they also don't have to keep holding her to a higher standard than the treatment she receives.

Yay for the frivolous present! I bet those pearls look lovely with her moonlight dress.

Scoreboard: No changes to order. Uncle James continues to trail Cousin Stickles in the second-runner-up position for "worst Stirling."

Mrs. Stirling: -48

Cousin Stickles: -17

Uncle Benjamin: -13

Aunt Wellington: -11

Uncle James: -11

Olive: -7

Uncle Wellington: -4

Byron Stirling: -2

Aunt Isabel: -2

Cousin Gladys: -2

Cousin Betty: -1

Aunt Mildred: -1

Second Cousin Sarah Taylor: -1

Aunt Alberta: 0

Uncle Herbert: 0

Second Cousin Jane: 0

Cousin Georgiana: 7

#blue castle book club #the blue castle

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 8 months

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Isn't it like an established thing that a lot of kids, especially neurodivergent ones, really dislike Barney cus he's so painfully upbeat and cheery all the time that he basically lands slap bang in the middle of the uncanny valley. Like he's so sterile it becomes creepy and unnerving.

I've literally never heard of this.

All I know is I was a dino obsessed neurodivergent (and heavily abused) child who did, at one point, like Barney - though I had grown out of it, I had liked it - and thus was bullied mercilessly by other children via anti-Barney songs, among other things

(the "cleverest" (least clever) taunt the other kids used against me was a lovely sing-song of "Dinosaurs are duuuuumb! Dinosaurs are duuuuuumb!". Real great stuff there.)

#about the blogger #dinosaurs #neurodivergency #barney #barney hatred #abuse #tw child abuse #tw bullying

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madame-wilsonn · 1 year

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Midnights: Chapter 8

MASTERLIST — MIDNIGHTS MASTERLIST

Summary: After the failure of his plan and later, his suicide attempt, Tommy thinks he reached the bottom. But fate still has a few cards to play.

A/N: we’re getting closer and closer to the end of the show and I decided to use this chapter as a bridge between s5 and s6 (as this particular event is mentioned in both). But this will be the last chapter set in s5 and then, the story will cover what happened in s6! I hope you enjoy this and see you next week! 💗

Warnings: mentions of death and tommy’s suicide attempt (+ the aftermath), dark thoughts and overall angst

Word count: 906 words (don’t worry, next one will be much longer)

Night had draped the land of its velvet quilt as Tommy stared blankly at his hands, sitting in the lone office. Lizzie and the children had gone to bed hours ago, leaving Tommy alone to face his thoughts.

Lizzie had tried to get him to speak, to react in some other way than the dull and monotone speech he gave the family as he announced Polly’s death. But Tommy had no strength left in him. No anger, no sadness. He was just tired.

But they wouldn’t let him pass.

He had found himself deep in the mud again, praying for the agony to end. But even the release of death was too sweet for him. Tommy wasn’t meant for peace, he was meant for destruction and despair.

Lizzie’s furious gaze, as she threw the unused bullets at him, was proof of that. You’re a coward, Tommy. The words were filled with venom, spiteful and true. He was a coward. But giving up was all he had left.

Now Barney was dead because of him. Aberama was dead because of him. And Polly…

Tommy bit the inside of his cheeks, tightly clasping his hands together. He couldn’t start crying. He had to think about his next step. How he would avenge her. And for that, he needed to be clear-headed.

All he wanted was the ache to stop but he didn’t have any way out. His last, desperate attempt miserably failed like the rest. Even killing himself wasn’t an option anymore. He was at the bottom of the abysmal pit of despair. Like in the tunnels when they would dig too deep, they wouldn’t see the light for weeks except for the petrol lamps they carried; the air was rare and their lungs filled with dirt and dust particles.

That’s how Tommy felt. Like he couldn’t breathe. Like he was suffocating, in a dark confined room.

He still felt the barrel of the gun against his temple—cold and lethal, he could still hear Grace calling out to him but where darkness should have reigned, he found himself face in the mud. It wasn’t until Lizzie arrived that he realized he was still alive and how fucking ridiculous he was. Because she knew he had pulled the trigger. She knew what his intention was. And it was a selfish, spineless move.

But a part of him felt the sting of her words—worth a million bullets to the head. Lizzie had a big heart, she was gentle and loving but there was no more love left for him. Only a pure, vindictive hatred. And Tommy’s failed attempt to take his life away only hurt more as he realized that now, he would have to face his wife, his children, knowing he wanted to disappear, to never see them again.

Tommy’s intention wasn’t to get away from them. He hadn’t even thought about not seeing them if he killed himself. It just felt like the last thing he could do, the thing he should have done a long time ago to stop the endless cycle of suffering. But he was still alive.

And the suffering was far from being over.

As he sat in his gloomy office, he wondered if the only reason he had failed to kill himself was to discover the bodies. To face the deadly consequences of his limitless actions— like some twisted joke from the universe.

The sight of Polly lying on the driveway was engraved on his eyelids, meant to haunt him for the rest of his miserable life. She was still wearing the blue dress he last saw her with, a maroon stain where the knife had struck her. Captain Swing had told him on the phone, explained her scheme in a vicious attempt to show her control— he had lost the game to her. Tommy didn’t want to believe it as he rushed outside, Lizzie’s confused eyes following him. But, Captain Swing had won. She had managed to easily dismantle his infallible plan. And he didn’t see anything coming.

Why? Why didn’t he, Thomas Shelby, see anything coming? He was by far the most clever one in his family, he had built his entire empire from scratch. Why didn’t he fucking see it coming?

His gaze fell on the bottle of whiskey and the half-empty glass. The golden hues seemed to answer his silent question. Whiskey and opium. The fuels meant to keep him functioning. The only things that could quiet down the voices in his head, make his mind clearer…Or so he thought.

They didn’t make his mind clearer. They numbed him. Turned him into a phantom, plagued with visions and angry wraiths.

He didn’t see the Captain’s attempts to steal his crown because he was far too deep into his own mind, between clouds of golden brown and rivers of moonshine.

Yes, that was the reason.

Tommy stared at the whiskey and the small vial of opium before hastily grabbing them and throwing everything in the hearth.

The flames, exposed to the poison, erupted and the air soon wafted pongs of ammonia. He would see clearly now. The haze blurring his mind would vanish and he would see everything. No one would ever be able to bring him down.

He would get revenge. Kill every single one of his enemies. No matter the time it would take him, no matter the blood he would have to spill.

Polly will be avenged.

Taglist: @aaskoct @cillmequick @dandelionprints @edmundo-diaz @forgottenpeakywriter @huntingingoodwill @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @jokim @julkaamazing @lili12356 @look-at-the-soul @lyarr24 @midnightmagpiemama @milkshakelol @notyour-valentine @rangerelik @salvatoremeanssavior @thesoldiersminute @emotionalcadaver @zablife @shelbydelrey @peakypolly

#midnights #anna's fics #ma ptite bombasse 🥰#tommy <3 #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby fic #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinder fanfic

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 2 years

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From Book 1(or From book they were introduced) to 7 -changes following characters(some are minor) goes through(characters arc) :-

Harry ,Ginny,Ron,Hermione,Remus , Tonks, Percy, Fleur, lavender

I remember reading this ask and being like "is this a challenge?". I could write books on some of these characters and on others there's very little to tell.

But you know what? As Barney Stinson would say:

Challenged accepted.

I'll need to be very synthetic which is not something I'm good at.

Lavender Brown

Lavender does not sustain any relevant change through the story, she's always painted as very girly and in contrast to Hermione. It's not surprising seeing that she's not a particularly relevant character. The only change we see is that at the start of OotP she doesn't believe Harry but then she's at the first meeting of the DA. She is not stupid or a coward but it's not a revelation of her character, she's always been a clear Gryffindor.

Fleur Delacour

Fleur doesn't really change, we just see new sides of her. In GoF, Harry finds her unlikable, and only when he saves Gabrielle, she warms up to Harry and we discover that she's not that bad. In HBP the Weasley women go through the same thing, with the addiction that seeing that she will be a new member of the family and they have to live with her, her unlikability is far heavier on them. One change that I guess we could see is when in DH before the Battle, when Percy comes back, she's the one that tries to break the tension by asking about Teddy to Remus. This shows an ability to read the room, and as basic as it is, it does seem to be an improvement for her. Most of the rude things she says to the Weasleys in HBP seem to not come from hatred but an inability to have any type of social filter. In an analysis of her character, we could see how this may be linked to her being part Veela.

Percy Weasley

Percy is always presented as an ambitious and smart character who is very academically driven. This does not change. I do not personally recall and have not found any declaration of loyalty towards Dumbledore in the early books (but please correct me if I'm wrong) so him taking the parts of the Ministry is not a change for him. There's on the other hand an interesting change in his relationship with Arthur.

Percy feels a connection with his father for his job at the Ministry and even seems to share Arthur's biggest interest. In the second book, he tells Harry that the optional subjects he should choose are divination and muggle studies. Percy has actually taken all the optional classes because we know he got 12 owls, so these are the ones he really likes and values more (I find it really interesting that the other is divination personally). Now, this is important because when Percy gets away from his family, he mainly rows with Arthur and shows resentment towards him. This seems to be a change due to Percy working at the Ministry for a year and having to deal with having "Weasley" as a surname but of course, we'll never know for sure. He could've bottled up those feelings against his father for years.

Percy needs the Battle of Hogwarts to come back to his family. As every Gryffindor he has braveness but also a lot of pride and stubbornness. By this point, he has no problem addressing his excessive ambition and his wrong behavior toward his family.

Nymphadora Tonks

Tonks is another of those characters that we don't really see changing, we just see different sides of her. If in OotP she's vibrant, funny, and energetic, in HBP she's depressed because of the whole Remus matter. I've seen people during the years say that the way she acted in HBP was out of character and my question is: based on what? How can you say that when we didn't know anything about her intimate emotional sphere? Between the scene in the infirmary and the one written by JKR outside the books, her attitude towards Remus doesn't seem to change. She's extremely sad but she doesn't sulk in silence. In DH she seems to return to her OotP-self which is coherent with her being now married to Remus. We don't know how she reacted to Remus going away, just that eventually they patch it up.

Remus Lupin

Remus is the incarnation of self-hatred. We see it from his very first appearance in PoA, just think about how he stays away from Harry for years and he keeps that attitude even when he becomes his professor. This is a central part of his character, something he constantly battles with and he seems to have a real improvement with the birth of his son. Remus is incredibly happy, he seems to finally start to see himself as worthy of love. Personally, I've always interpreted Remus making Harry Teddy's godfather as a sign of gratefulness for setting him back on the right path.

I've always found Remus's death very fitting because it made sense for me that at the end of the story all the Marauders died but that death is also an enormous tragedy for Remus' character because he's killed when he has finally started accepting himself and had in front of him years of happiness. It kind of cuts his arc right in the middle.

We could talk about the "marauders era" but I feel like I'd be going too much into speculation. What we can say is that surely Halloween of '81 caused a regression in his self-esteem, despite that, I think it's important to remember that it's suggested that Remus always had a sense of gratefulness towards the Marauders (specifically James) on a level that indicates a sense of feeling undeserving of their support.

Hermione Granger

Hermione is not a character that changes a lot, actually. Especially if you consider how much page space she has. But nonetheless, let's dive into what we have.

Managing stressful situations -> In PS we see Hermione not being able to act straight under pressure, in CoS she is not really involved in any action but she seems to be able to handle herself in PoA. Though PoA is also the book in which she goes completely out of control about the optional subjects. The narrative seems to imply that Hermione made a crazy choice taking them all, but we know that both Bill and Percy did it which means it's possible. This implies that Hermione didn't know how to deal with the pressure that all that work required, maybe because some of the subjects were difficult for her, like divination? We'll never know. From GoF, this trait of her seems to disappear.

Social skills -> We meet Hermione as someone with very poor social skills and who has a hard time making friends. I do not consider her becoming friends with Ron and Harry a sign of improvement because the event has very little to do with her social skills. I think in this aspect her friendship with Ginny, and to a minor degree, Neville and Luna, is far more significant. They are born in a more natural way even if still in forced circumstances, like all the time she spends at the Burrow. By the end of OotP, she even learns to not attack Luna on her beliefs. I do not consider the advices she gives Ginny (about Harry) and Harry (about Cho) improvement because I do not think she ever had a problem understanding situations as a third party, she doesn't know how to act when she's directly involved.

Family -> Hermione progressively distances herself from her parents spending constantly more time with the Weasleys to the point that one wonders where she would have spent Christmas of 1996 if she hadn't fought with Ron. It's not clear what are her motivations and feelings about it. In OotP we know that she cares about them knowing she became a prefect because at least they know what that means. The apex is her wiping away their memories of her but we know she eventually restores them. She's accepted by the Weasleys as family but through Ron, instead of that unconditional way in which Harry is a Weasley. If and how much she feels grateful for the Weasleys is not clear.

Ron -> I don't think her view of Ron changes much frankly, she was always more susceptible to his behavior. She seems to officially develop romantic feelings for him during CoS because, by the start of PoA, she obviously likes him. She always seemed pretty aware of her feelings but not open to making the first move. In HBP she invites Ron to the Christmas party which is surely an improvement but she remains very vague and in fact, we all know what happens. She does kiss Ron first but considering that they are three minutes away from a very likely death I don't think it can be considered character development. She also shows repeatedly that she's aware of Ron's insecurities but doesn't really act accordingly with the exception of her complimenting Ron about his idea of the fangs before the battle, could they have possibly talked about what happened with the locket? I suppose the real end of the arc, even if we jump from a first kiss to marriage, is her marrying Ron and having children with him.

House-elves -> The information we know about what she does after the books suggest that she eventually learns how to properly deal with the house-elves matter. While her feelings about the issue in the books are correct, her way of dealing with them is deeply wrong.

Ron Weasley

Ron is a character that consistently messes up and consistently improves himself afterward. From the start, we are made very aware of Ron's insecurities and his need to prove himself.

Insecurities regarding Harry -> From the first book we are made aware that Ron's aspiration is having glory, and success, in short: what Harry has. These feelings arrive at a peak in GoF when Harry becomes one of the champions, Ron eventually understands his error and apologies. Since then he really tries his best to suppress his insecurities about Harry and besides a comment about height in HBP, he needs a Horcrux to bring them up again. The destruction of the locket is symbolically Ron finally completely getting over this insecurity. It's made quite obvious by the story, especially when Harry says that he just knows it must be Ron who destroys the Horcrux.

Insecurities regarding his siblings -> He feels the weight of being the sixth son and the confrontation with Ginny who is the only girl, he constantly feels overshadowed and like he's not enough. The twins seem to be the main source of his insecurities, as suggested by Hermione. Like the ones about Harry, these too find a moment of resolution with the destruction of the Horcrux. The final push in the direction of understanding that he's not the least loved could probably be attributed to what Bill does for him during the period he is separated from his best friends during the seventh book. But we can already see significant growth by the end of OotP where he becomes very open to the idea of Ginny being included in his group of friends. By this point, he has won the Quidditch Cup and the twins are not around anymore. It's interesting to notice how he will end up working alongside George for life, unfortunately, though, the factor of Fred being dead can't be ignored.

Hermione -> Already in the first book, we see an arc with these two. Ron goes from being mean to Hermione to becoming her best friend. During the second year, he already manifests romantic feelings toward her. But as PoA makes it clear, he has absolutely no grasp on what he feels for her, for that we need to wait for the Yule Ball, and even there there's still a solid level of denial. By the fifth book though, Ron's attitude suggests that he has become aware of his feelings. In the sixth, I do not think that Ron doesn't know what Hermione feels for him. Hermione's attitude is far too explicit. I think he doesn't believe to be enough for her, as his reaction to Hermione kissing Krum suggests. If she was actually with the famous Victor Krum then the moment they get together she'll realize that he's not enough, right? This is reinforced by the whole Felix felicis mess. His relationship with Lavender seems to bring a new level of maturity to Ron as we see blatantly at the start of DH. Ron here also repairs his error of not inviting Hermione to the Yule Ball. Yet we know that he won't be completely rid of his insecurities until he comes back and destroys the Horcrux. After we'll also have the first moment in which Ron openly acknowledges his feelings for Hermione with Harry with a quote that I absolutely love: "All's fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both" (and then he married her and they had babies).

Career choice -> Ron stopping to be an Auror, a lifelong dream due to his need of proving himself, suggest an ability to finally overcome all those insecurities that he had, despite the fact that he will inevitably remain in part a person inclined to develop insecurities, he does a great job on himself.

Prejudices -> Ron is a character that grows up in the wizarding world and as a pureblood, despite the Weasleys being quite accepting and progressive we see him retain some prejudices, specifically against werewolves and half-giants. But because he's Ron, he soon overcomes his bias. While he never treated them badly, we also see him becoming sensible to the enslavement of the house-elves.

Luna -> Ron also becomes consistently more friendly with Luna. If in HBP he still calls her "Loony", in DH he shows a strong affection for the girl, highlighting Ron's great improvement in terms of maturity after the Lavender situation.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is a pretty easy character to follow through the story, because of the role she covers in Harry's life her presence is usually well defined.

Confidence -> We are first introduced to Ginny in the form of a young girl with a strong personality, a need to not be left behind by her brothers, and a strong fascination for the famous legendary Harry Potter. Already from the scene where she runs after the train, we see the definition of her personality, both strong and sweet: she half laughs and half cries. Ginny's big expectations for Hogwarts are completely destroyed in this second book. We discover her as someone who has some strong insecurities regarding Harry and has a hard time fitting in. These insecurities that she could have probably easily gotten over considering her previous attitude are instead increased by Riddle's diary. This is a very different Ginny from the one we'll discover in OotP where she's outgoing, popular, and confident, the Ginny we'll keep seeing for the rest of the story. In between, we had PoA where she faded into the background, and GoF where she was already a lot more outgoing, her main insecurity remaining Harry, this is the year where she finally decides to get over him and starts dating Micheal. [for more about Ginny's insecurities check this post]. It's also interesting to note that during the progression of the books she becomes less and less open to being shoved aside because she is the girl or the youngest, her disagreement is consistently more and more strong. Becoming the mother of a youngest sibling who is a girl offers her the opportunity of ending that cycle.

Trauma -> At the tender age of eleven, Ginny goes through an enormous life-changing trauma that many readers during the years have described as "mind-rape". We see frequent glimpses of how this negatively affects her during the second book. By the end of CoS Ginny seems to be feeling pretty well as for the very start of PoA (the trip to Egypt probably helped). She has a regression that leads her to fade into the background due to the dementor incident, this and her being a lot more out-going in GoF suggests that her second year was the one dedicated to resolving the major part of her trauma. She goes back to being herself but with the inevitable changes of someone who lived through something so dark. She becomes quite guarded with her own feelings and has strong responses to people not respecting her boundaries.

Harry -> Ginny grew up hearing stories about the famous Harry Potter, and soon her fascination with this boy develops into full romantic feelings, probably a combination of Ron's stories and actually meeting Harry. It's important to notice how her feelings are never dismissed as a crush, she's said to have always been "quite taken" with Harry (GoF). And Harry is canonically the person who understands her perfectly so we have this on good authority. Ginny is overwhelmed by her feelings for him which make her uncharacteristically shy. Her insecurities when it comes to Harry contribute to her being subjected to Riddle. By the end of CoS, she seems more comfortable around her future husband. But PoA reminds us that she still has feelings for him and is still shy about it, even if she has a moment of boldness with the singing card. GoF is what changes everything, the combination of Harry's crush on Cho and Hermione's advice brings her to try to live a little and start looking at other fish in the sea, even if we know that deep down she never really gave up on Harry. During her fourth year, finally able to act like herself in front of him, she becomes quite an essential part of Harry's life. In the summer of '96, they officially become close friends, and during HBP we see glimpses of Ginny becoming increasingly worse at hiding her feelings for Harry while dating Dean. By the time of the break-up at Dumbledore's funeral, we know for sure that she's in love with him (that "I like you so much" is the worst disguised I love you in the history of time). DH reminds us that, in case someone had forgotten, Ginny has come a long way from the shy little girl, and clarifies with Harry that she's going to wait for him. And she did, ladies and gentlemen, she did.

Defender of the marginalized (Neville and Luna) -> In GoF she's embarrassed about going to the Ball with Neville, in OotP she defends him. At the start of OotP she calls Luna "Loony" (not with ill intention but it shows she has not taken the time to get to know her) by the end of the book they are friendly and in HBP she outright defends her from bullies. [for an insight into her relationship with Neville and Luna, read this post] This theme has a continuation with what she does at Hogwarts during the war.

Fleur -> In HBP she has an arc in her relationship with Fleur who she detests. At the end of the book, she begrudgingly accepts the girl in her family. [a clear nod to Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" if you want my opinion]

Quidditch -> She goes from training herself for years in secret to entering the house team as a second option in a position she doesn't prefer, to becoming the life and soul of the team and finally, she becomes a professional player and then a sports journalist. The theme of "coming out of the shadow" is very dominant in her character.

Writing -> Through the series, Ginny manifests an interest in creative writing. An activity strongly linked with her biggest trauma but we see a complete reappropriation of this passion when she becomes a journalist. While maybe due to her fading into the background in PoA, it's still interesting to note that the year dedicated to her emotional recovery is also the only one where in the book there are no elements that associate her with creative writing.

Harry Potter

I'm writing the summary of the summary of the summary of the summary for Harry because I could write seven other books on him.

Family -> Harry lives with a constant need of having a family as we see in the first book very explicitly. At the start of the series we see Harry hating the Dursleys (mainly Vernon) but still having some sort of need to connect with them, they are technically his family, after all. It ends when Sirius arrives in the picture and Harry completely takes him in as a parental figure, relying on Sirius' official role as his godfather. How Harry reacts to the argument between Sirius and Molly in OotP shows how the Weasleys are like family to him, but Sirius is family. With Sirius' death, the role of Harry's family falls exclusively on Ginny as made explicit in DH [for a bit of an insight on this, read this post]. Harry concludes his story as a husband and a father, finally achieving his heart's greatest desire.

Ron and Hermione -> Harry is never particularly confrontational with them, not surprising considering how he grew up. He avoids calling out Ron and he takes Hermione's nagging internalizing his annoyance towards her and fundamentally ignoring her. In the fifth book, he has a lot of understandable pent-up rage and he takes it out on them. Probably because they stick with him through that, in HBP he feels a bit more comfortable at occasionally criticizing Ron and manifesting verbally his annoyance towards Hermione. Nothing spectacular, mind you, but still, there's a bit of a change. Through the books, Harry also becomes progressively more aware of Ron's insecurities but he finally really grasps how deep they are rooted only with the destruction of the locket.

Ginny -> Harry's journey with his feeling for Ginny is more of a finding out something that was always there instead of about acquiring it. Since the first book Harry has a certain pull toward Ginny. In PS, PoA, and GoF is quite subtle, in CoS is honestly kind of thrown in the reader's face, it's very obvious even if Harry has no idea about it. But it's only in OotP that Harry's subconscious is finally given a full justification for this attraction he has for Ginny because she finally shows herself to him completely. By the time Harry kisses Cho, it's becoming quite difficult for Harry too to keep ignoring how superficial his feelings for the Ravenclaw girl are, and not coincidentally right after, it starts to become impossible to ignore Ginny in the book. Harry is reminded of their connection with darkness, she establishes herself as Harry's source of optimism, and the growing feelings that Harry has for her are nearly revealed to him in the easter eggs scene. At the end of the book, Harry's protectiveness toward her comes back all the way from CoS. Through HBP Harry's feelings for Ginny become constantly more impossible to ignore until the big revelation. Harry has a denial phase, a very long pining phase and then he finally kisses her. Their relationship is blissful oblivion (;D) and it's made quite clear that it's far from a casual teenage romance. Then there's the break-up, which funnily enough shows how much Harry loves her, and in DH, he associates more than once Ginny with marriage and family. His fight with Ron in the tent forces Harry to think about how uncertain he left things with Ginny and of the possibility of her being in danger. Before the final battle, Harry is open to losing Ginny's trust if that means her being alive. As we all know she is his last thought before dying and so it's not surprising then that Harry's story ends with him married to Ginny with kids.

Touch -> Harry is clearly someone that is not exactly comfortable with physical affection, clearly due to his upbringing. The first person he hugs in the series is Ginny in HBP. Touch is a strong component of their relationship and Harry seems to become a little more open to touch with other people too thanks to Ginny. In DH he hugs Mrs. Weasley and Ron and he doesn't feel uncomfortable when Hermione takes his hand in front of his parents' grave (admittedly he had more pressing matters at that moment than feeling uncomfortable but still). If we look at Harry's last thoughts of Ginny before dying there's once again touch ("[...]and the feel of her lips on his—"). Emotional conversations though seem to remain something he's comfortable only with Ginny and I suspect that to remain true for a very long time.

Being the hero -> While for us it's always obvious that Harry is the hero of the story, we're reading books named after him, in the story it goes a tad differently. PS establishes Harry has a natural hero, fighting evil is part of who he is, a concept remarked by Dumbledore and Ginny (his mentor and his soulmate, not exactly two random people). When he arrives in the wizarding world, Harry has this old fame and there are hints of him not being an average wizard, but it's only in CoS that Harry starts seeing that there's something out of the ordinary about him. Harry grows progressively more aware of his own role in the story and also of his own nature, GoF besides being the book that changes everything in the tone of the story and officially creates the need for conclusion in the HarryVSVoldemort situation, is also the book in which Harry starts thinking about being an Auror. OotP is the book in which he knows that he's not normal, status accentuated by his PTSD and survivor guilt, but everybody keeps telling him that he has to act like he is. When he finally learns about the prophecy in a way there's a sense of calm that settles in him, at least it all finally makes sense. And in HBP he is finally let into the big scheme, he works with Dumbledore. The sixth book is the best written one of the series because it's the more structured. Harry Potter lives both as Harry and the Chosen One with a constant back and forth between these two realities. The Harry one is strongly linked to Ginny, in fact, the break-up is symbolic of the Chosen One burying Harry deep down. In DH the Chosen One keeps being dominant over Harry and all the moments in which he allows himself to think of Ginny are the moments in which despite the Chosen One best efforts he can't hide Harry underwater. The death (where non coincidentally Ginny is brought up again) is in some way the actual death of the Chosen One. His mission is completed, the one that comes back is a Harry who actively chooses the take upon himself the mantel of the hero. It's Harry Potter that kills Voldemort, not the Chosen One. That chapter of his life officially closes with Ron and Hermione who in a way are also saying goodbye to the Chosen One and to their roles as his helpers. Harry saying that he needs to talk to Ginny is an indicator of this new Harry who is finally whole, merging the different parts of him, he's grown into himself, let's not forget that this is a coming-of-age story before anything else. This new Harry is the one we fully see in the Epilogue, aware of his identity as a hero but also free to finally make his own choices.

Dumbledore -> Harry for the first four books is very trusting of Dumbledore, but as for a lot of other sub-plots, then everything changes. OotP is the book in which Harry starts seeing that maybe Dumbledore is human after all and in fact, during HBP he is open to the possibility of Dumbledore being wrong. Harry is devastated by Dumbledore's death who was both his mentor and a grandfather sort of figure. His last protection is taken away and he has to step into the real world. Through DH Harry discovers another side of Dumbledore and that, added to his frustration and depression, leads him to become quite frustrated with Dumbledore who, at the end of the book, it turns out, had one last card hidden from Harry. Then there's a final reconciliation in the metaphysical King's Cross where Dumbledore owns up to his mistakes and Harry, in typical Harry's fashion, forgives him.

James and Lily -> since the very beginning of the story Harry craves the idea of meeting his parents. He particularly looks up to James and hopes to be like him, he finds pride in the idea. This is true until Snape's worst memory where feels a bit like a fool for all the years he looked up to his father. He also has a first real approach to Lily and he likes how she behaved in that situation. At the end of OotP, we see Harry reconciliation with his father, accepting that after all, it's part of being a human being flawed, yet from then Harry looks more at his mother like we can easily see when he talks to his parents and Sirius and Remus before walking to his death.

Neville and Luna -> Harry sometimes is a teenager like everybody else and so he looks down on people like Neville and Luna who are kind of the losers of the situation. But thanks to the two of them going to the Ministry with him he learns better, after all, he values courage above everything else and he grows to really respect them. This is underlined by the contrast in his feelings about riding the train with them in OotP and HBP.

Note: Before someone starts with the "But you didn't talk about this and that!": it's a synthesis.

#now you guys understand why it takes me so much time to answer?#I've re-written this thing a million times #lavender brown #fleur delacour #percy weasley #nymphadora tonks #remus lupin #hermione granger #ron wealsey #ginny weasley #harry potter #remadora #romione #hinny #thegirlwhowrites642HPmeta

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aspiringwarriorlibrarian · 2 months

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Thinking about that time I discovered that there was a subset of people that hold an unbelievable amount of hatred for the titular character from the children show Calliou, even expressing their desire for his parents to beat him. I just found it some very weird and a little disturbing. (Had a similar thing happen with the character Stuart Little).

It's the Barney effect, I guess.

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ahsokatanos-lightsabertechnique · 11 months

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A Clint Barton Appreciation Essay/Analysis

Disclaimer: Hey! Movie Clint wasn’t great! MCU Hawkeye is a disservice to Jeremy Renner and Clint Barton. Kind of unfortunate casting in my opinion, bc I love Jeremy Renner and I love comics! Hawkeye.

Clint Barton’s life started out normally. And by normally I mean it started out sucky (how much suck-ier it got after that was not normal, and arguably spiraling into increasing levels of suck is Clint Barton’s superpower). He and his older brother, Barney, were regularly beaten by the drunken waste of a human they called a father. Their mother was caught in the same situation, so it’s not really fair to call her out (and I’m not trying to!). However, it’s worth noting that the boys didn’t get much protection from her either (not trying to victim-shame, just saying the dynamics of the situation had an impact on Clint and his brother). One day his father beat him so badly that he lost most of his hearing. Not long after this, his parents died in a car crash (his father was driving drunk, big surprise), and the boys were kicked into the foster system. That was a mess. Enough said. So, at this point, Clint has never known any adults that didn’t let him down somehow. Actually, scratch that, he never lived with an adult that didn’t abuse him in some way or another. Eventually the foster system was so bad that they ran away and joined a nearby circus. They were taken in by two acts called the Swordsman and Trick Shot. The boys were trained by the two men, and for a short period things went well for Clint, since he found something he was really really good at (arrows and throwing knives, yippee) and was praised for it. This didn’t last long though, since Swordsman and Trick Shot were both criminals that were using the boys to make more money in their theft/gambling/racketeering/etc. ventures. Depending on which comics you read, each one tried to kill Clint when he wouldn’t do the crime thing, betrayed him, left him, or some combo thereof. His brother, Barney, did the same. This was particularly devastating to Clint because Barney had been the only real family that had, at any point, loved and protected him.

That was just his CHILDHOOD. What happens after is long and complicated, and we won’t go into that here. The point is, all of his personal relationships fail (with the exception of Kate Bishop). Why? Well, after all that shit that went down before the age of, like, twelve, Clint doesn’t trust anyone. He doesn’t trust himself. He has a deep-seated case of insecurity and self-hatred. He doesn’t trust other people that get close because, of course, they’ll hurt him and then leave him. The self-hatred, in my opinion, is because all of those people that abused and betrayed him told him that their actions were HIS fault. I think he knows logically that they aren’t, but on some level, he thinks they’re right. He can’t have a meaningful relationship of any kind when every instinct, conscious or not, screams to show the other person how horrible he is before they do any damage. They can’t blame what they do on him if they already know what a piece of shit he is, right? It’s not his fault if they leave. But then they do, and it hurts anyway, because he’s lied to them or cheated on them, and when they leave they blame him. Because this time it actually was his fault. “Burn them before they burn me�� only ever works in theory, never in practice. His self-sabotage is an especially toxic defense mechanism. Paired with a spectacular case of commitment-phobia, it means that he has no one. No one. Absolutely nobody. He knows the Avengers from work. He knows some people in passing. But he is alone in the world. If he was dying, the only people that would care would also be just so tired of him, because they love a person that has made himself impossible to love. And, being people trying to make good relationship decisions, they’ve not only left him. They’ve given up on him. He has made himself unlovable, and sees believes that he’s a living disease to anything good. At least, this is how he sees his relationships.

It’s horrible, but also absurdly ironic. He’s not walking trash. He’s a golden retriever of a man that would help a fucking CRICKET cross the street. When a dog gets hit by a car because its owners are assholes, he willingly GETS SHOT to get to the dog, take it to the vet, and save its life. He then proceeds (after being beaten to hell, shot, and bled/dripped on from dragging a soaking wet and bleeding dog for god knows how long through the rain) to kick the ever-loving shit out of the people that owned the dog. Not because they’re mafia. Not because they hit him or hurt him. Because of the DOG. He spends every spare moment of his time and money fighting to keep his neighbors from being forced into homelessness by the crime lords that own their building. He hates himself so intensely, blames himself for every time he fails to help someone so completely, that he is totally blind to the fact that he is beloved. The man is a goddamn saint in every way that matters. He’s painfully flawed and ridiculously kind.

To top this all off, he deals not only with emotional insecurity but also with physical and professional insecurity. He’s an Avenger. The man is so fucking lame. He shoots stuff with arrows. And then gets whaled on by aliens and gods and science experiments and lands in traction in the hospital AGAIN while everyone else drop-kicks the bad guys into the sun or whatever. That’s how he sees himself. He’s useless, a pity case. Nope. Nope nope nope. He’s so far past olympic-level athlete it isn’t even funny. He’s clever. He really is more accurate with projectile weapons than ANYONE ELSE IN MARVEL COMICS. That’s the most dope thing. It’s a simple thing, and it isn’t spectacular, and any person can shoot a bow and learn gymnastics. It isn’t about WHAT he’s doing. It’s about the LEVEL HE’S DOING IT AT. Sure, he’s no Thor, but he can hold his own against the vast majority of Marvel characters. It isn’t flashy, and he’ll look like he’s gone through a meat tenderizer (with a concussion thrown in for good measure), and he’ll probably look ridiculous doing it, but! The man is human. No super soldier serum. No magic. No super-human abilities. He’s the very personification of humanity in a league of people that aren’t really human anymore (if they ever were). Like, if anyone was ever to be an avenger in real life…they’d be Clint. But maybe not with a bow and arrow (we must allow some whimsy in our comics, after all). He’s amazing because of what he can do, sure. But what makes him truly wonderful is how hard he’s trying. He’s given up on himself, but every day he tries, and tries, and tries. He takes out his hearing aids and closes his eyes every now and then, because he just can’t bring himself to face any consequences that day. Sometimes he just lives off of coffee. There are days where he just lies on the floor and doesn’t move. But he drags himself out of bed, drags himself out the door, drags himself through LIFE simply because he cannot resist the ever-present impulse to make it a better place. And in so many ways, at least all the ways that matter, that is the most deeply human way to be good. I’m not saying he’s the best avenger, but you know what, fuck that, he’s my favorite.

#I feel really strongly about this okay #Hawkeye #Clint Barton #marvel comics #matt fraction #matt fraction's hawkeye #maybe spoilers?#spoilers if you plan on reading up on clint barton's backhistory from scratch #I think this backstory is pretty established/common knowledge at this point tho #but just in case #clint barton appreciation #minor pizza dog #comics hawkeye #comics #sorry not sorry this is so long #i love him so

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