Back on my Screenwriter soap box while watching PJO: They should have bought a bunch of oil diffusers.
(Edit: This post was made before someone pointed out to me that I missed a key line of dialogue, but my points and theories still stand for the same reasons backing up my original post so I’m not changing anything. The dialogue I missed lets us know that Hermes told Percy the lotus was being pumped into the air off-screen. It’s also implies (? I’m still on the fence about this one?) that Hermes told him what day it is, but I missed these during my first three watches because of how quick and vague it was. Which actually kind of supports my point on why visual indicators are so important. Without these, it’s easy to miss key information. And remember, it’s a kid’s show. ANYWAY my conclusions haven’t changed, and I still believe these edits would work better than the quick line of dialogue so just keep this in mind. Thanks.)
(I’m not being nit-picky. I swear. Just hear me out.) So the weirdest thing to me in episode six was how Percy just…learned everything so quickly without any visual indicators? Like they know time passed because it’s dark outside, but how did he know it was Thursday? They know they were affected by the lotus flowers, but how does he know it was pumped into the air? This irked me because even if he’s smart enough to figure some of this out himself (which he is) we as the audience should still be able to follow his thought process instead of learning after the fact.
What if there were oil diffusers?
So imagine the trio walks into the Lotus, figures out this is like the Odyssey, and decides not to eat anything. They waltz in super confident that they cracked the code, but they were wrong. How do we know? Because the moment they enter the crowd, we get an establishing shot of a lotus-branded oil diffuser letting out steam.
Immediately, we as the audience realize their mistake, making it just that more tantalizing to watch. As the episode continues, we realize they’re everywhere. There’s a diffuser in the plants, on the counter, between the game tables, always right out of the corner of our eyes. They just keep churning out lotus-scented oil into the air, which we can infer because we’re smart. (Remember that.)
Now when Percy realizes what’s going on, we know HOW they’re doing it and HOW Percy knows without being told!! Because they were there the whole time.
Onto Thursday.
Consider: A watch.
What if Hermes has the only watch in the casino until the trio walks in with their own?
Let’s give Annabeth one of those cheap, funky watches that gives the time, day, month, year, etc. Something you get from a kids toy catalogue. It’s waterproof, glows in the dark, has an alarm or whatever. I feel like Annabeth would have one of those. (And honestly, she might already. I forgot.) The most important feature for us, though, is the day. It clearly tells us the day of the week.
It’s pretty easy to establish that Annabeth has the watch. Just do it the same way they establish the date: Percabeth arguing over it in the truck. Annabeth shows him the watch. Establishing shot of the watch’s face. That’s it. No bells or whistles necessary. Then when they get to the casino, Annabeth checks it one more time (without an establishing shot, she just does it casually) and they walk in.
(It’s so easy. I promise.)
While Grover is walking around alone, he tries to check the time and realizes there’s no clocks. (Which ngl is super common in casinos already, but it’s creepy nonetheless.) Yada yada, he gets sucked in by Augustus and that’s how he gets got.
Meanwhile, Percy and Annabeth keep meaning to check the time, but every time they do, someone tries to hand them an appetizer or a drink, which makes them forget OR Annabeth’s hubris keeps her from checking. (Percy: Time check? Annabeth: Its only been five minutes. We’re fine. We need to focus.)
And that brings us to Hermes. After their chat, yada yada, Annabeth “leaves” and Hermes gets all cryptic, then he makes a BIG show of checking his watch, and THAT’S when Percy realizes something’s wrong because oh no they haven’t checked the time. So he finds Annabeth, they see it’s dark outside, they check her watch, and it’s Thursday.
“But we didn’t eat anything!” Annabeth says. Percy looks at the diffusers by the entrance. It dawns on him. “They’re pumping it into the air.”
That’s how you VISUALLY SHOW US THINGS instead of Percy just figuring everything out off-camera and telling us!!!!
Now, you may be thinking “Oh but do they have the budget for that??” Do you know how cheap these props are? Just bulk buy like six oil diffusers, slap a homemade sticker of a lotus flower on them, and keep moving them into every shot. And they’re quiet!! They wouldn’t interfere with the sound, the steam is visible enough to be caught on camera without messing with the lighting, they actually look really cool in some lighting, and they fit the atmosphere of a hotel/casino!! Then the watch is like $15, fits with Annabeth’s character, and totally matches her outfit.
It’s CHEAP! It’s EASY! It DOESN’T CUT INTO THE RUN TIME! It’s AESTHETICALLY PLEASING! ANNABETH GETS A SICK WATCH!! NO DOWNSIDES!!!!
The biggest problem with this show isn’t how accurate it is to the book or how much money they have or that they’re “Disney-fying” it. The problem is they are TELLING US things instead of SHOWING us. And not to beat a dead horse because everyone’s heard of “Show Don’t Tell” but like??? This is exactly why everyone is taught this over and over again in school?? Because people still do it anyway all the time???
There’s also something else I learned (or really just picked up) when I got my B.A. in Creative Writing: Good shows are predictable.
Whether it’s a case of the audience learning what’s going to happen before it happens or them watching the show again and realizing how obvious the answer was the whole time, audiences always want to feel smart. They want to interact with the material. If you don’t give them the opportunity to pick apart the mystery themselves by setting down clues, they’ll give up on interacting with the show and lose interest. That’s why you SHOW them things. There are several moments where this show is completely unpredictable, not because it’s complex but because it doesn’t let you predict it. That doesn’t make it bad—the comedy and character development is doing a great job of carrying the show’s weight so far. But it definitely doesn’t make the show good.
It’s like Rube Goldberg machines. Or dominoes! We don’t watch those crazy 1000+ domino videos so we can watch the last one fall. We watch it to see HOW they fall. Take one domino out, and it’s unsatisfactory. It doesn’t work anymore.
But some oil diffusers and a watch??? Little clues that make the realization that more visually appealing??? THAT’S SATISFYING
Anyway, these are just two things that could have been done, but weren’t. Most of the show is stellar. I think it just needs a little bit of editing here and there. I studied this for like years, and I needed to get this off my chest. That’s it.
Rick Riordan, if you ever see this, I am available for hire :) I would love to be a script doctor please please please please
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something about the fairies taunting jack with rose petals no less. something about the toymaker covering the unit hq in rose petals while he gets shot at. you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you blessed you with the curse of eternal life
jack loses everybody he loves over and over again and as a reminder of that, rose petals.
the doctor loses everybody he loves over and over again and as a reminder of that, rose petals.
tell me that doesn’t sound remarkably similar to the way fifteen describes the goblins to ruby. the goblins are part of the toymaker’s “legions” — ancient and mysterious entities from the dawn of time, slipping in through the cracks in reality, stimulated by human belief and superstition. goblins abduct little children for their own ends and so do the “fairies”. you don’t know where the chicken or the egg is, where history ends and mythology begins: did the folklore emerge from sightings of the real creatures, or did the creatures coalesce like an egregore because of the proliferation of the folklore about them, a manifestation of humanity’s deepest fears come alive ever since the toymaker changed the rules of the game?
but was it the toymaker? could this all be a chain reaction, kickstarted billions of years ago (or only nineteen, depending on how you look at it) when one headstrong young woman looked into the time vortex and turned herself into a literal deus ex machina, defying all laws of reality, raising the dead and disintegrating the death-bringers? could that have been the moment (lol.) when it all began to unravel?
i haven’t seen classic who. what do i know. but maybe it wasn’t the line of salt at the edge of the universe. maybe it was one girl, seeing everything that ever was, everything that will ever happen, anything that ever could be. the fairies haven’t stopped pursuing jack ever since: he’s the living evidence of her miracle. they slaughter his entire train carriage but they don’t touch a hair on his head. other children are the fairies’ chosen ones, yes, but jack is the chosen one of their goddess. the bad wolf
i wonder who that jonathan groff character in the upcoming series is.
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OKAY SO GHOSTSOAP AND PET NAME THOUGHTS,,
Ghost who just got in a relationship with Soap and is pretty new to dating and being in a committed relationship, he wants to do couple-y things with Soap, and he knows Soap wants more lovey dovey stuff from him but he's somewhat clueless about the whole thing and ends up being way too serious and intense about it.
He gets in this weird conundrum about names - pet names in particular. He wants to give Soap one, and 'Johnny' can definitely count as something similar since he exclusively uses it for him but it's not exactly that. He also does not want to be awkward about the whole thing. Johnny deserves the world and then some, the least he can do is put an effort and be purposeful about it. So, he ends up researching pet names, reading relationship articles, running himself mad trying to figure out what would be perfect; to the point of whispering different pet names out when he's cuddling with Johnny and thinks he's asleep. (he's not - completely that is- soap dismissed that it was real the first few times but after it kept happening, he secretly relishes how cute ghost is being)
It gets to the point that Soap is already casually dropping all these Gaelic pet names for him and he's still stiffly calling him 'Johnny' and nothing else because for the life of him, he can't figure it out. Then, one day, he's just randomly bantering and cuddling with Soap and Johnny says something stupid and he just goes "fucking hell, love" while shaking his head and he freezes a second after because he realises what he said and Johnny's staring at him all wide eyed and shocked, and he's panicking.
Because out of everything, anything, the most basic of pet names slips out. Hell, 'love' is something you can say to a stranger, something you can say to anyone where he's from and it doesn't even-
Johnny's looking at him, blue eyes murky with the slightest hint of tears and yet there's a smile on his lips that's softer than anything he's ever seen. He doesn't even get to think before he's leaning over to grasp Ghost's face tightly to kiss him until they don't have a breath left in their lungs and when they finally pull away, Johnny looks at him like he's holding everything and more between his hands.
(because soap knows ghost, he knows he doesn't say things he doesn't mean and when he said love casually, as if there wasn't a world where he wasn't his love - he knew he meant it wholeheartedly)
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the new TailsTube.......... I can't yall.
Tails saying this is a segment of his show about talking to hedgehogs he's met..... and brings out Sonic AND Shadow as the first guests... where was Amy...... why not Sonic and Amy.... Sega I know what you're doing.
Why did Sonic need to be there. Shadow and Tails could have talked
why did Shadow need to be there. Sonic joked about it just being The Bros talkin Shadow lore
it could have been Tails doing a reintroduction to Shadow for the newcomers and prep for Movie/Generations
WAS THIS JUST TO GET THEM TO SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT EACHOTHER HOLD ON. TAILS-
"Well they say opposites attract!" TAILS YOU CAN'T SAY THAT. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE US GO CRAZY STOPPP
"anything you can do I can do better" and then Sonic mocking him....
Sonic saying he was impressed that Shadow had a super form. Shadow being impressed that Sonic could preform chaos control with a fake emerald.
Sonic calling Shadow faker........... Shadow calling Sonic blue hedgehog.............. they were reminiscing I swear on it...
I'm so normal about them. and that's why I wrote all of this.
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Soph I love you but Taylor Swift does not “make herself the victim” there’s so much valid shit that has happened to her for us to feel that way about her, which most of her fans honestly don’t even see her as - granted there as some obnoxious ones but that goes for all fandoms.
Like for example of the experiences I was talking about.
- being sexually assaulted and then being called “greedy” for suing the guy.
- being painted as a “snake” because she didn’t react well to someone writing a misogynistic song about it. Which I feel like is a valid reaction as a woman in entertainment.
- being groomed at 19 by a 30+ something year old.
- getting called a snake worldwide for a narrative that 2 people - who were more famous than her at the time invented.
- being bodyshamed constantly when she had an eating disorder
Yes she’s privileged and has always been, coming from money and having fame, but she does not portray herself as the “victim” and the fact that people think she does just for standing up for herself makes me sad, not because of her but because being a woman myself it just paints the picture that women’s pain or experiences will always be brushed under the rug because we’re classified as “dramatic” and “we should take it with more grace” “be thankful about the good things” like??
I understand that you don’t like her but that assessment just seems wrong.
like i just. you realize you're proving my point right? like this - not just this message, but all of the ones i've gotten where people are waxing poetic about all of the struggles taylor swift has had and how she is absolutely a victim and how dare i suggest otherwise - is exactly what i'm talking about. you feel the need to jump down the throat of anyone who says anything remotely negative about her. this is the whole "victim" narrative, that she is vulnerable and must be protected and defended from all negativity at all times at all costs.
and like. that is on purpose. she has cultivated that narrative for this reason. so that publications are now afraid to post reviews of her albums with bylines because their journalists are getting death threats if they criticize her.
i am not suggesting that taylor swift has never had anything bad ever happen to her. that would be insane. i am trying to say that this culture that has been cultivated within her fanbase of defending and protecting her, is extreme and irrational. and when you don't buy into it, it makes a lot of the content surrounding taylor swift very hard to swallow.
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