#Eddie in a top hat & tails

[mrsjellymunson]

🎩 Top & Tail 🎩

Written for the @steddiemicrofic May prompt ‘top’. WC: 510. Rating: M. CW: Mentions of arousal, swearing, passing allusions to BDSM. Tags: Rock god!Eddie Munson; Steve Harrington realises he has a crush on Eddie Munson; Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening.

On a day trip to Indie, Robin persuades the gang to visit her favourite curiosity shop.

Browsing, Eddie spies a vintage silk top hat, immediately gravitating towards it.

It costs way more than what Eddie’s got in his pockets, but when is he ever able to resist a cool and quirky trinket?

Sensible Steve says it’s stupid, expensive, when will he ever wear it, blahblahblah. Points out the threadbare fabric, absent ribbon, like what’s even the point, dude?

To everyone else’s delight, Eddie’s prancing around the store, kicking his feet and waggling the hat, singing Willkommen from Cabaret.

Stopping by an ornate mirror, he plonks it on his head, checking the fit.

As he plays with angles and positions, Steve freezes mid-sentence. Observes how it fits perfectly. How the worn, black, silky finish compliments Eddie’s pale skin and accentuates the new ink on his collarbones that’s already framed beautifully by his ripped neckline. How it pushes his bangs a little further over his eyes, and how that somehow makes his stare even more intense, domineering.

Steve swallows hard. Feels his dick stir. Decides against any further words of discouragement.

Robins gushes, “Ohmygoddd, you look sooooo cooooool!”

Jonathan and Argyle agree. Even Nancy says she likes it.

Eddie grins wider than Steve’s ever seen, emptying his pockets and mumbling something about foregoing lunch for a month. The others chip in change, ones and fives, and the storekeeper even knocks off a few bucks for Eddie’s enthusiasm.

Steve proffers a crumpled twenty, ignoring the others’ reactions as he ticks up a half smile and nods at Eddie’s quiet, “Dude, are you sure?”

He mumbles assent, adding, “Man, even if I think it’s a waste o’money, sometimes there’s things you’ve just gotta have. Right?”

Two weeks later, the gang are at The Hideout to watch Corroded Coffin perform.

Eddie’s in his element, at his manic best as he strides onto the stage, and Steve freezes again. Eddie’s wearing his usual skintight jeans, studded jewellery, many-buckled platform boots. But tonight he’s added a black tailcoat adorned with pins and chains. No shirt. And that damned hat. There’s studded leather where the ribbon should be, and the embellishments and silk fabric shimmer under the spotlights. The ensemble has a mildly unsettling vintage charm, and the effect is stunning, garnering whoops and hollers from the crowd.

Eddie struts around like it was made for him. And when he gets too hot on stage, does he take it off? No. The bastard goes and removes his damned jacket instead…

The rest of the group are swaying, bopping their heads. Jonathan and Argyle are even having an air guitar contest.

But Steve can’t move. He’s transfixed by the movements of Eddie’s half-naked body, his ink dancing, sweat glistening on his ivory skin, his commanding presence. And the way that damned hat makes him look like a fucking ringmaster.

Another image crosses Steve’s mind.

He just needs the whip…

And Steve realises, in one earth-shattering moment, that Eddie’s already the master of him.

Things you’ve just gotta have, indeed…

Thanks so much for reading!

If you liked this you can check out more Steddie ficlets on my masterlist

Tagging the usual suspects: @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @curlyjoequinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn

#steddie microfic #steddie microfic May #TOP #🎩 #steddie #steddie ficlet #steddiemicrofic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fanfic #Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening #Eddie in a top hat & tails #steddie fluff #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #argyle #jonathan byers #rockstar!eddie munson #Steve a harrington realises he has a crush on Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson wears a top hat #rock god!Eddie Munson

[salamandergoo]

STWG Prompt: Crack Fic

“Eddie, I need you to stay calm.”

Those were always the words Eddie wanted to hear when he was waking up out of a haze, sprawled across his bed with the blankets tangled around his limbs.  He smacked his lips a few times and grimaced at the taste in his mouth before sitting up and rubbing his eyes.  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”  He untwisted his shirt and got out of bed, kicking dirty clothes on the floor aside as he yanked the door open.  “Why are you telling me to be calm?”  He yawned into his fist and froze in the middle of the hall.  “Wayne…?”

A hairless… thing was sat on the floor, pressed in close to his uncle’s leg.  It chirped and whined, sounding like a cat being mangled by a bird.  “I found him by my truck at the end of my shift.  Poor thing’s got a messed up leg, it was limping around looking all pathetic.”

“So you’re telling me, I can’t get a pet, but you get to drag this… this THING into our trailer?”

“I never said you couldn’t get a pet, I said you couldn’t keep a pregnant opossum, Ed.  This is different, he’s a hurt dog.  And we ain’t keeping him, he’s just going to stay a couple days until he’s walking better.”

“That’s not a dog!  Dogs don’t look like that!”  Eddie crept forward and squinted at the thing.  “It doesn’t have a face.  Or fur.”

“It was probably hit by a car.  One of them hairless terriers.”  Wayne shrugged off his jacket and took off his hat.  “Get it a little something to eat, will you?  I’m going to take a shower.”  He stepped away and the creature rumbled, standing up and hobbling after Wayne, head bumping against his ankle.  “I ain’t going far Benny.”  He bent and patted it on the side.

Eddie softened.  “Oh.  You… you’re calling it Benny?”

“Got a better name?”  Wayne didn’t quite meet Eddie’s eyes this time as he kept stroking the thing.  It leaned into the touches, its backside wiggled and, hey, it had a nub of a tail.  “It’s been almost a year.  Thought we ought to honor him somehow.”

“I don’t know what about a weird, naked dog reminds you of Benny, but… okay.  I’ll get it something to eat.”  Eddie made his way to the fridge, giving the thing- the dog- …Benny a wide berth.  He didn’t like the sounds it made, but Wayne was clearly taken with it.  “You keep a naked dog but not an opossum,” he grumbled.

He fixed a plate with some leftover chicken, scraping off as much of the seasoning as he could.  He could hear the shower running as he sat on the couch and set the plate on the floor.  “Come eat.  Dog.”  Eddie squinted at Benny while he sat by the bathroom door.  It was like he was staring at the door, but Eddie could’ve sworn the thing didn’t have eyes.  “Benny, come.”

It looked at him with its empty face before crossing the trailer.  It didn’t walk quite like a normal dog either, and not just because it the damaged leg..  It was like when Eddie would scramble up stairs and put his hands on the stairs like he was an animal so he could go faster.  It looked like it would just stand up on its back legs at some point.  It sniffed at the chicken and then opened its face.  Eddie clapped a hand over his mouth and watched in disturbed horror as it ate.

He didn’t dare move a muscle until Wayne was coming out of the bathroom with damp hair, changed into his lounge pants.  “Wayne.”  His voice was hushed and high pitched.  “Wayne, there’s something wrong with Benny.”

“Yeah, I know.  He was probably hit by a car.”

“His face OPENED!”

“My nana had a dog that was missing half his bottom jaw.  Looked ugly as sin but loved nothing more than a good lap to lay on.”  Wayne filled a mug with water and took a long drink.  “Benny must’ve healed wrong, doesn't make him less of a dog.”

“I don’t think he’s a dog at all!”  Eddie yelped when Benny turned his head to look up at him.  “I think you’ve brought a demon into our home.”

“Only demon in this house is you.”  Wayne dropped a hand on top of Eddie’s head and ruffled his already messy hair.  “We ain’t keeping him long.  I’m sure there’s someone nearby who can take better care of him than me.”  He set up his bed and grabbed his blanket.  “I’m gonna get some shut eye, so try and keep it down, alright?”

“…yup.”  Eddie watched as Wayne got settled and then watched Benny hop up onto the bed and curl up at Wayne’s feet.  He didn’t have a good feeling about it, but… Wayne seemed happy.  Lighter, somehow, with the dog on his bed.  Eddie could live with it for now.

But he’d be keeping a close eye out for any signs of what it actually was.  Because that was no dog.

#stwgdailyprompt #stranger things #eddie munson #wayne munson #demodog

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

⚙️ Steddie Big Bang 2024: Project Reveal ⚙️

I am stoked to reveal my project for the @steddiebang2024 - an action-filled, steampunk-inspired Steddie adventure. I'll be collaborating with the amazingly talented @cuips-not-cute on this one, and I can't wait to see what they'll create! 😍✨️

Summary and snippet under the cut

⚙️ Excerpt

“Look,” he finally says. “We've been over this. The doctors said it's perfectly normal. ‘s called phantom limb or whatever the fuck. Can take years to go away, sometimes never does. It's fine.”

Gareth shuffles unhappily. “Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” Eddie insists. “I appreciate your concern, Gare, I really do. But to be perfectly honest with you, I’d rather hack off another limb than go anywhere near those shallow, sanctimonious, rich assholes ever again, so they can take that money and shove it right up their-”

“Eddie, shut up, for fuck’s sake!”

Gareth's voice cracks around the last syllable and Eddie trails off with an irritated groan.

“What? Why?”

“Just-” Now that he thinks about it, Gareth is sounding weirdly nervous. Eddie frowns at the wrench in his hand. “There’s, um …”

“No, by all means,” says a new voice. “Let him continue. He hasn’t said exactly where to shove that money yet.”

Eddie shoots out from under the transporter and nearly crashes into a pair of legs.

“What the fuck?” he blurts, slamming his feet down in a desperate attempt to brake. His right leg creaks and the metal foot scrapes over the floor with a harsh, grating sound. Eddie thinks he sees sparks, briefly. “Hey, look where you’re-”

There’s a guy staring down at him. A guy in an embroidered waistcoat with tails so long they nearly brush the shafts of his shiny leather boots. He's leaning on a carved walking stick, raising an elegant eyebrow from under a swoop of shiny, chestnut hair. Eddie decides then and there that he hates that douchebag.

“Where I’m going?” Douchebag finishes his sentence. “I was just standing here. Maybe you should-”

“Yeah, well,” Eddie sneers, finally remembering to sit up and push his goggles back. The movement leaves a black smudge of oil on his forehead, wet and sticky. “It’s still my damn shop, good sir, so excuse the fuck outta me if I don’t go out of my way to kiss your-”

“You’re Edward Munson then?” another voice pipes in. “Of Munson’s Machinery? You own this place?”

Eddie blinks. A girl is peering over Douchebag’s shoulder. She reminds him a bit of one of those tall monster birds with the long necks he saw at the zoo once - all gangly limbs and jerky movements and nervous eyes. Ostriches? Yeah, he thinks that's what they're called.

“Eddie is fine,” he says automatically, then remembers he's still mad at the both of them. “I mean … what's it to you?”

Douchebag huffs a sound that might pass as a laugh, if only his face matched the noise.

“Nevermind,” he murmurs and turns to go, making to put his preposterous top hat back on. “This was a stupid idea anyhow.”

“Steve?” The girl latches on to his arm and yanks him back. Douchebag makes an annoyed, whiny sound and Eddie can feel his own mouth twitching into a grin. “Be nice?”

While Douchebag pouts and grumbles something unintelligible under his breath, she turns to Eddie with a strained smile.

“Sorry about him,” she says, fingers awkwardly tugging on the dispensers of her billowy pants. “We talked about this before coming here, or at least I thought we did, only right now I'm honestly wondering if we had the same discussion, because you're sort of our last chance, so it would really befit us to treat you with some basic-”

“For fuck’s sake, Robin,” Douchebag blurts. His hand flies up like he’s trying to scrub it down his face, or pinch his nose maybe - one of those theatrical, overdone gestures of long-suffering exasperation - just that he’s still holding the stupid hat and almost whacks himself in the forehead with it. “Just go ahead and tell him everything, why don't you? That'll do wonders for our negotiation position, I'm sure.”

“Excuse me, what position?” asks the girl. She throws up her hands, so suddenly that her dispensers twang with it, and Douchebag flinches. Eddie’s starting to like her more and more. “And I'm asking that in all honesty, dingus. This place is the only option we have left. Our position isn't just shitty, it's literally non-existent. There is no position, Steve. So you can either try again and behave like a decent human being or we can just go home and forget about the whole-”

“Ugh, alright,” Douchebag snaps. “I'll do it, I'll do it.”

He shoves himself past the girl and her shit-eating grin so that he can glare down his nose at Eddie. Eddie, who is still crouched on the ground, glares right back, head tipped into his neck.

“I, um-” mutters Gareth, shuffling off the workbench and gathering his half-finished breakfast. “I'll just … I’ll come back later, I guess. See ya, Eddie.”

Eddie makes a vague sound of acknowledgement as he bustles out, but doesn’t bother breaking his staring contest.

“So, Mr. Munson,” Douchebag drawls after a second or two. “Would you be interested in a job offer? I heard you’re one of the best mechanics on this side of town.”

#steddiebang24 #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfic #steddie brainrot #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #updraft steddie fic

[stevesjockstrap]

Part 2/2 🖤 part one or Read on ao3 • rated E — all the smut in this one (full tags on ao3)

tattoo artist Eddie, swimmer Steve Harrington, oblivious Eddie, pierced Eddie, appearance by Steve’s jockstrap 🫠 dom!Eddie, brat Steve ofc

@steddieonmywaywardson @steddiesummerexchange

Thanks again to @fuctacles and @lawrencebshoggoth 😘

Walking into the bar a few days later to see Steve in a tight crop top and very short jean shorts with the Calvin Klein band of his underwear showing a few inches above them had Eddie almost dropping to his knees.

He hadn’t been that excited about the 80’s theme night at their regular dive bar but now being faced with the happy trail and bare arms of his … what would he even call their relationship? They weren’t exactly friends. He was a little more than a client, honestly, but Eddie was hoping for much more than that. He just didn’t think it was going to happen. Gorgeous athletic assuredly straight guys like Steve Harrington do not end up with fuck ups like Eddie Munson. He knew what he looked like, the long hair and piercings and almost all of his body covered in weird tattoos. Cute frat boy types didn’t go for the likes of him.

“Eddie!”

He spun around to see Chrissy in a bright neon pink leotard with a headband. His own leather jacket and Judas Priest T-shirt seemed lame now, looking around at everyone who had gone above and beyond for the theme.

“Hey Chrissy. Love the outfit. Are you leading us in Jazzercise tonight?”

She laughed hard and genuine, throwing her head back and making her high pony tail swing around.

Steve came up next to them with an easy grin. “Hey Ed! How are you?”

“Hi Steve. Pretty good, pretty good. You guys really went all out, huh?”

Steve huffed a small laugh and shrugged, completely nonplussed that he was the hottest person in the place. Maybe the state. What Eddie would give-

“Can I buy you a drink?” Someone came up beside them, looking Chrissy up and down.

“Sure!” The guy in a cowboy hat and jeans (maybe had forgotten which theme night he was attending, or maybe he thought it was the 1880s, who knew) offered her his elbow and lead them to the bar. Steve threw a thumbs up at her when she turned to look back at him and Eddie wanted to run away immediately.

Thankfully he was saved by the Corroded Coffin boys showing up, but then Eddie had to awkwardly introduce them officially after they ragged on him for their enthusiastic session.

But Steve was amazing, unquestioningly shaking their hands and engaging in the typical polite small talk. The boys complimented his outfit without making it feel weird, and Steve excitedly pointed out Drew’s Metallica shirt and started an in-depth conversation about the album (making Eddie silently swoon beside him).

Chrissy rejoined them after cutting her suitor loose, and they all found themselves hanging at a corner of the bar, shooting the shit with the bartender and judging everyone else’s attire and the music.

As more and more alcohol was consumed, Eddie was quickly losing his mind. Steve was so comfortable in himself, talking with anyone who approached the bar or started talking with them. It shouldn’t have been that attractive, but Eddie who had grown up with all the same people surrounding him now, he found it hard to make friends. Chrissy and Argyle had found their way into his life by accident, but their extroverted selves had just adopted the sad boys in the tattoo shop and frequently drug them out of their comfort zones.

Eddie almost swallowed his tongue when a tall good looking man approached Steve and asked him to dance, waiting to see the hate crime in action that he was expecting. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, something to finally burst the Steve Harrington shaped bubble forming in his heart.

Instead, Steve gave him a demure smile and went with him, actually taking his hand and allowing the man to escort him to the dance floor where they quickly got into the groove and Eddie was dumbfounded.

He blinked at Chrissy and she sent him a look, but he was too drunk to decipher it. He couldn’t figure out why this was somehow worse than when he’d assumed Steve was straight and unattainable. Now that there may be a possibility — he shook his head at himself, quickly draining his cup and waving off the questions from the boys as he threw cash onto the table and stood. He had to go home before he embarrassed himself. Or made a fool of himself in front of Steve.

Gareth sent him a small sad smile and patted his shoulder as he went past.

The next few days went by quickly, Eddie trying to settle the slight nausea whenever he thought of how he’d acted with Steve at his tattoo appointment (and the consult meeting beforehand), forcing himself to be even more professional at his appointments now to try to overcompensate.

“Are you into Steve?”

Eddie scoffed and watched as the cue ball went wide, missing its target completely. “What the fuck, Chrissy?”

She smirked at him from the other side of the table, quickly pocketing two of her striped balls.

“Well?” She asked again. Chrissy had drug him back to the bar, apparently to interrogate him.

“Is this just a dirty trick to win at pool? Or a real question?” Eddie peered at her while she scoped out the table.

“A question can be more than one thing,” Chrissy said with a wide grin. “People, too.”

Eddie frowned, game now forgotten. “What does that mean?”

Chrissy shrugged and took a drink from her beer. Eddie took a few steps closer to her. “Is Steve asking about me?”

She had let it slip earlier that she’d gotten together with him and Eddie tried not to let it bother him. They’d only exchanged a few messages since he had been in his tattoo chair. Eddie had tried to keep it cool, letting Steve know scars were finicky and not to worry about any areas that healed strangely. He’d be able to touch them up. Eddie had winced to himself at the double entendre and then the conversation hadn’t really progressed like before.

Chrissy shrugged again and Eddie wanted to shake her.

“Chris, you’re killing me.” He gulped down his own beer and sighed. “Look. I tried to be so professional with Steve. If I made him uncomfortable I can apologize or whatever. But yeah, he’s fucking gorgeous and sweet and funny and completely out of my league. You probably know all of this, and you’re fucking with me. To win a dumb game of pool. But, for your own sick twisted amusement, yes. I know I have zero chance, but I know I’ve never been that hard while tattooing someone. Does that answer all the things of your question?”

She just nodded, but had a small sly grin on her face.

Eddie lost three games of pool before he called it a night. Then went home and scrolled through his messages with Steve to torture himself.

“Are you inviting your boy to the party?”

Eddie actually looked behind him to see who Gareth was talking to, and not seeing anyone in the vicinity, he frowned. “Huh?”

“The big end of summer thing at Argyle’s? Are you going to invite Steve?”

Eddie dropped his phone, and Gareth snickered at him. “He’s not- Wha- Do- uh.” He looked around the packed shop, lowering his voice. “Should I?”

Gareth rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to keep circling each other? You obviously both like each other, he gets along well with all of us somehow, you act like a lovestruck teenager when he’s around. What’s stopping you?”

Eddie thunked his head on the table and Gareth chuckled at his dramatics.

He’d always kept a decent eye on his schedule and appointments, Argyle complimenting him because trying to figure out the other guy’s schedules and trying to work with their convoluted systems was more than he could take some days.

It wasn’t until he walked into his office and found Steve there instead of the promised Mike Hawk that he second guessed giving him access to his calendar.

“Oh. Um. Hi, Steve. Why are you- I mean, its good to see you, but well, uh…”

Eddie trailed off, awkwardly standing in his own doorway.

“It may have been Chrissy’s idea,” Steve supplied. “And Argyle… could put someone in your calendar. I couldn’t get a hold of you, and I didn’t really want to bother you by just showing up and taking away from your work, I just, I dunno.” He was so genuine and seemed shy now somehow, even more endearing to Eddie.

“Uh, sure. That doesn’t seem stalkery at all,” Eddie huffed.

“Think of it more as, I dunno, just a surprise appointment instead of being tricked by all of your friends.” Steve grabbed the back of his neck, smirking.

“Oh? Is that what we are? Friends?”

That didn’t seem to deter Steve at all, in fact his smile widened and maybe blushing.

“I was hoping, to be that, or…” Steve stood, and Eddie realized he was wearing the black sweatpants he had sent him home in. “Since I sort of have an appointment, could you look at this tattoo for me? The last guy, he did his best, but you know, tattoos over scars can be finicky, I hear.”

Eddie laughed, his heart unclenching. “Yeah, you know not all tattoo artists are as professional as me.”

Steve walked closer to him, reaching behind him to pull his door shut. Eddie swallowed.

Wiggling out of the sweatpants and turning, Eddie let out a gasp. Steve stood before him in a jockstrap, tattoo still healing but areas on and around his scars lighter and fuzzier. However, his brain mostly clued into the fact that Steve’s entire ass was bare to him, and all of his long legs.

“Uhh huh, well it does seem like your scars haven’t taken the ink as well. C-can, um, can you stay here for a minute? Just give me one minute?”

Steve turned again, giving him a small nod and stepping back into his (Eddie’s) sweats.

In the middle of the tattoo shop, Eddie stopped and looked around. Only about half of the guys were in today. Weekdays they didn’t all need to be here. Argyle smirked at him from the front desk. Eddie glared and approached him quickly.

“What is this all about? You putting fake names in my schedule for people to ambush me now?”

“Hey, you’re welcome, brochacho. Go back there and get your shit together.”

Eddie laughed, all his annoyance gone instantly. He met Argyle’s outstretched fist with his own, shaking his head. “Thanks, man.”

Realizing he had actually left a hot half naked guy alone in his office, he quickly grabbed stuff from his work station and hustled back, locking the door behind him.

Steve was lounging on his couch with his arms crossed, making his arms and shoulders look ridiculous.

“So, um, this last dude who tattooed you, was he- you know, did you like him?” Eddie grinned, tucking his tongue behind his teeth.

“Ah, he was alright. I think I’m going to like you a lot better though.”

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head as he dumped his stuff on his desk.

“I think we’re going to set up shop back here, if that’s cool with you. I kind of got drug over the coals for, uh, an interesting session a few weeks ago. The boys won’t let me live down another performance like that. And since we’re just doing a touch up…”

Steve reached behind his head to grab the collar of his shirt and pulled it off with a flourish. “Fine by me. Although, between us, that guy probably enjoyed the attention.”

Eddie stopped to groan, rubbing over his face. “Fuck. Well, maybe next time then, Stevie.”

His gaze slid from his cocky grin down his hairy chest, down to his tantalizing happy trail that was still burned in his memory from the bar that night.

“God, you’re pretty,” he breathed, unaware he had said it out loud until the belly he was eyeing shuddered with a laugh.

“Where do you want me, Eds?”

“Uhh, there’s an old bench shoved here somewhere. Gotta be more comfortable than on my desk.” As he said it, he winced but he watched as Steve’s eyes darkened.

“Yeah, you can bend me over your desk another time.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie chuckled.

Eddie popped up the dusty table, quickly but efficiently wiping it down with disinfectant before beckoning him over. Steve stood again, sliding the sweats from his legs as Eddie watched, enraptured. He didn’t take his eyes off of him as he laid down, arching his back as he positioned himself and had to hang his arms off the sides to fit.

Other tattoos he hadn’t gotten to see before drew his attention away from the magnificent ass, some script across his ribs and a baseball bat with nails through it on his bicep.

The one he’d done on his thigh was the biggest, and was the most detailed. If he’d known (or had thought to ask any questions) he would’ve prepared Steve better for the pain he’d had to endure. Hindsight being what it was, he just shrugged at himself and carried on. Nothing to do for it now. Steve had come back, after all.

Sucking in a deep breath, Eddie traced a finger down his spine and over the leg strap that crossed over the tattoo. “Gunna slide this up a little, baby.”

The word felt like too much, hanging between them, but Steve made a little affirmative noise in his throat and arched into the touch.

Eddie put his gloves on, got his tray set up and let himself believe this was actually happening.

“You gunna sit so good for me again, sweetheart?”

Steve whined and nodded, Eddie watched his fingers flex into fists.

“Your pretty little mermaid for everyone to see, been showing it off to everyone?”

“No, haven’t, not really. Did everything you said. Even kept it out of the sun.”

Eddie coughed to cover the little whimper that came out of him, when he realized there were no tan lines to be found on all of the skin under his hands. Steve must sunbathe in the nude, but hadn’t been with his new tattoo.

“You like following my directions, Stevie?” He smirked even though he knew Steve couldn’t see.

“Yes sir.”

Eddie almost dropped the tattoo gun. “Fuck, sweetheart. Just relax. Just be a good boy for now, okay? I’ll take care of you.”

“Mhm,” Steve whined as Eddie continued. Thankfully his previous self had plotted the scars mostly in the mermaids dark hair or background, easily able to blend into shadows and such so he didn’t need to redo stencils or think very much, since most of his focus was again on the little noises Steve was making and his ass under his hands.

Steve had definitely been holding back the first time, because now the noises were even more constant and pornographic. Eddie knew he was dripping in his boxers, trying his best to quickly deposit the ink in Steve’s perfect skin.

“Doing so well, pretty boy.”

“Feels good, Eds. Could sit here forever,” Steve whimpered.

“Mhm,” Eddie hummed, not acknowledging the lie as he watched Steve’s jaw flex and the muscles bunch under his hands. “Relax, Steve. Or I’ll stop.”

Cooing at his devastated noise, Eddie wiped ink from his body again and pressed a kiss to his side, making Steve cry out and his hips jolt.

“Oh fuck, you’re going to be the death of me. How can you be this hot?”

Eddie stopped. “Huh? Me?”

“Of course, Eds. You think all of this was for show? I just get naked in front of people I don’t think are hot?”

That stumped him. “I mean- uh, but-“

“I thought I was pretty blatant the first time, but Chrissy-“

“Chrissy,” Eddie groaned. Of course she was in on this. This stunt had her name written all over it. “Holy shit.”

Steve rolled over on his other hip to look up at him. “Eds, it was her idea but only because I had been whining to her about not knowing how to get your attention. She said you were not going to catch any subtle teasing or jealousy tactics, that I’d have to go big and obvious. This was as, uh, big and obvious as we could agree upon.”

Eddie frowned. “Agree upon?”

“Chrissy had much more elaborate plans, but I didn’t want to like publicly embarrass either of us. I just wanted it to be us, and you know, maybe the shop guys, that was really hot last time. But-“

Eddie stopped him with a kiss, Steve grinning into it and finally wrapping his arms around him. He ripped the black rubber gloves from his hands and someone pushed the tray of supplies out of the way, then suddenly he had a lapful of mostly naked Steve.

When they finally broke apart gasping, he traced Steve’s wet bottom lip with his thumb and Steve pulled it into his mouth. “Goddamn you’re amazing. So fucking gorgeous. Could look at you forever.”

Steve gave him a blinding smile from around his thumb, licking across the pad before letting it go. “Promise?”

“Yes, baby.”

Their lips crashed together again and Eddie’s hands went to his hair to hold him where he wanted him and around his waist to pull him closer, their hard lengths meeting between their layers. Eddie knew this was not good for his brand new tattoo but he couldn’t break their desperate kiss.

Steve kissed down his jaw to his neck, nosing his hair out of his way.

“Stevie baby, gotta-“

He laughed at the petulant whine he received. “Settle down, just don't want to fuck up all the work I did, even though I know redoing it again would be enjoyable for both of us. Turn over for me and I’ll take care of you.”

Working together, they arranged Steve to stand bending over the table and Eddie slid close behind him, licking across his hole and sliding a hand into the front of his jock.

“Please, please Eds- oh my god,” Steve wailed as he fucked himself back and forth, not sure if he wanted to rut himself into his mouth or his hand.

“I got you, sweetheart. Come for me and I’ll clean you all up and take you home.”

Steve arched back into him again. “That’s the hottest thing anyone’s ever said. Ever.”

Eddie swiped his tongue over his spasming hole again, making him shudder. “I think you’re a bit biased right now, but I’ll remember that.”

Ignoring his own throbbing cock, he slurped and stroked until Steve made the hottest noise he’d ever heard (he was definitely biased), coming hard into his sexy little jockstrap.

“That’s my good boy,” Eddie growled, nosing between his legs against his clothed spent balls and making Steve whimper.

“Stay still and let me wrap your fucking tattoo and then I’m dragging you home.”

“Y’ssir,” Steve slurred, slumping down onto his hands on the table, poking his ass up further into the air.

“Can’t believe you rode your motorcycle to get a tattoo on your ass, you absolute menace,” Eddie huffed.

“I was hopeful I would be getting a ride after.”

Eddie cackled along with Steve as they took the short drive to his place.

“As if there would be any other possible outcome with you throwing your gorgeous self at me.”

Steve shrugged, undoing his seatbelt. “Could’ve been. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”

Eddie looked at him like he was insane. “You mean, like, blind people? Lesbians?”

Giggling, Steve stuck his tongue out playfully. Eddie pretended to reach for it. “I’m a hit with lesbians, for the record.”

“Of course you are, handsome. Now get inside before I embarrass both of us in this parking lot.”

Wanting to get out of the shop quickly and without many eyes on them, Eddie had persuaded Steve just to put the sweatpants back on and snuck out the back staff door. Steve had confirmed that the rest of his appointments for the evening had also been fake (Benedict Phalange and Jack M. Ihoff, he needed to get more creative friends honestly) so they could run off without guilt.

Eddie left Steve waiting impatiently on his doorstep as he rushed around his apartment throwing dirty clothes into his closet, gathered all the trash from his coffee table and as a last resort sprayed air freshener everywhere.

Pulling the door back open with a flourish, he ducked his head down and bowed, putting on a voice. “My liege, welcome to my very humble abode. Me casa es the landlords casa, unfortunately. But it’s supposedly earthquake proof.”

Steve snickered at him, pulling him from his low bow and pushing him against the door. “Well let’s test that out, shall we?”

“Fuck, I’m keeping you,” Eddie groaned before meeting his hungry kiss. “Let’s go test out the shower first.”

After pushing and pulling each other to the bathroom and losing clothes along the way, after they’d wriggled Eddie’s pants off, Steve looked him over with wide eyes.

Eddie felt unnerved for a long moment before Steve made a low appreciative noise and ran a finger from the ink on his throat to the metal through his nipple and gasped as his eyes trailed lower.

“It’s yours?”

Eddie frowned, almost gasping himself as Steve dropped to his knees in front of him, then realized what had grabbed Steve’s attention. “Oh. You didn’t know?”

Steve traced along the harpy tattoo above his knee. “I didn’t know it was on you, Mr. Humble. Letting me rave over it and you didn’t feel the need to tell me you tattooed it onto yourself? That’s beyond badass, Eds.”

Maybe finally cluing into the fact that he was kneeling in front of him, Steve looked up from under his lashes at him, pressing a quick wet kiss to the tattoo before hooking his fingers in the elastic of Eddie’s boxer briefs to pull them down.

“Is- are- oh my god.”

“Not sure I can answer that one, honey,” Eddie laughed.

Steve continued staring until he finally thumbed at the metal through the head of his cock. “How do you keep getting hotter?” He pulled back, shedding his (Eddie’s) sweatpants and jockstrap in one motion. “C’mon, I need that in my mouth right the fuck now.”

Eddie would be embarrassed for the noise that came out of him as Steve sunk to his knees the moment they stepped in the shower, but then his brain was being sucked out of his dick. He threw one hand out to hold himself up and slid the other into Steve’s thick hair as his hot mouth slid down his length.

He realized his eyes had slid closed and forced them back open to see the gorgeous man below him. “Fuck, baby. Look so good like this,” he gasped.

Steve pushed himself up another inch with a high whine before pulling off. “Can’t take your huge cock.”

Eddie thought his legs were going to drop out from under him as Steve dived back down to swallow around the head of his dick. “Jesus Christ, where did you come from?”

All he could do was try to stay standing, almost sure his brain was going down the shower drain watching Steve as he lapped against the piercing or his cute little furrowed brow as he tried his best to take him down to the hilt.

“Don’t hurt yourself, sweetheart. Doing so good.”

He huffed, sending air across the head of his cock and he jolted a bit, making his piercing slide across Steve’s lips. “Just want all of it,” he pouted.

Unable to help himself, he grabbed a better handful of the hair on the back of Steve’s head and pulled his mouth back onto him. “Tap me if you need to,” he rasped.

Steve made a pretty keening noise and blinked up at him.

Pushing forward only a little further than Steve had been able to take before, he waited for Steve to take a long breath before fucking into his mouth.

“Such a good boy,” he couldn’t help but groan as his throat opened up for him. Carefully inching forward again, he rocked back and forth, leaving only a couple inches untouched.

Steve pushed against his thigh and he quickly backed off, but Steve gasped out, “So fucking hot, Eds. Do it harder. And I want all of it. Make me take it.”

Eddie’s knees almost gave out. “The fucking mouth on you, pretty boy.”

The only response he received was a low hum around the head of his cock before Steve pushed himself down onto this length and looked up expectantly at him.

He watched his face intently as he used the grip on his wet hair to pull him steadily forward. Sliding past his perfect lips, he moaned as they met the curly hair at the base and Steve swallowed around him.

“That’s it baby,” he huffed, yanking him off and letting him suck in a shallow breath before rocking all the way back in. Tears joined the water dripping down his cheeks but he wouldn’t let Eddie stop, whining and shoving himself back down even as his gag reflex fought him. “God, I lo-“ he shook his head. It was too soon. “Gunna come, Stevie.”

Steve bobbed his head and kept humming and swallowing around him until Eddie saw stars and reached above him for the shower rod to hang on to as he came down his throat.

“Oh fuck,” he hissed as the soft tongue cleaned him up. Then he almost hit the floor again when Steve looked up at him with his big round eyes, wrapping both hands around his own hard dick, getting himself off while looking him up and down. “Come for me, beautiful. Then I’m chaining you to my bed. Never letting you go.”

“Ah! Eds!” Steve made eye contact with him as he shuddered through his release, finally leaning his forehead against Eddie’s hip to catch his breath.

Once they were cleaned up and dry, cuddled up in bed, Steve looked around searchingly and Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Where’re your chains?”

Days later after not getting to see each other due to their schedules and Eddie trying not to come on too strongly (honestly he’d ask Steve to move in with him if he didn’t think he would run away screaming), Steve picked him up for Argyle’s party.

“I don’t know that I consented to a motorcycle ride,” Eddie smirked. God, don’t get hard. Don’t get hard.

“Parking over there is atrocious, this way we won’t have to walk a mile.”

Eddie kissed his cheek as he took the helmet held out for him. “Good thinking, sweetheart.”

He tried not to get too excited. But the vibration of the bike under him and holding on to Steve as he zipped through the city was exhilarating. Steve wiggled his hips back into him teasingly. He growled into his ear, “Be good.”

Steve shook his head and wiggled again. Eddie grabbed his hips and rutted his hard cock against his back. When that only made the wiggling continue, he looked around quickly before sliding his hand down between Steve’s legs.

Chuckling darkly against his shoulder as he gasped and revved the engine. “Don’t kill us, pretty, haven’t gotten to do everything I want to you yet.”

The hardness in his hand twitched and Steve slowed down the bike, turning a corner and taking them down a more deserted street.

“And don’t come,” he hissed as he squeezed a bit tighter.

They made it to Argyle’s in one piece miraculously, Steve whining at him as he hopped off the bike and pulled both of their helmets off to meet his lips.

“C’mon Stevie, before we get arrested in his front yard for indecent exposure.”

No one was surprised to see them walk in together, Eddie had been unable to stop talking about their developing relationship to anyone and everyone who would listen. Drew would jokingly make gagging noises at him and Gareth would loudly fake moan from next to him in the studio or bar.

“Ah our favorite pet project has arrived!” Argyle called out when he saw them, nudging Chrissy who was draped over his shoulder, apparently this meddling had brought them back together.

“Hey guys,” Chrissy beamed at them.

It was unbearably hot, but under the umbrellas and awning in the back of the house it was a bit more tolerable, and people were jumping in and out of the pool.

Eddie almost swallowed his tongue when Steve came out of the bathroom wearing a tiny sporty looking speedo and nothing else. He grabbed his elbow and pulled him back into the bathroom. “Are you trying to kill me? What is that?”

Steve just grinned. “It’s a pool party, babe. This is a bathing suit,” speaking slowly and deliberately like he was explaining something very complicated. “You wear it in the pool.”

“Uh huh, smart ass. What about keeping your new tattoo out of the sun? You’re pushing it, you’re already lucky I’m letting you swim at all.”

“Mmm, let me, Eds? What else do I have your permission to do?” Steve pulled him close by the waistband of his own plain black trunks.

“Fuck, you are trying to kill me,” he breathed, closing the distance between their lips. But after a quick kiss he pulled back. Looking into his eyes, he promised lowly, “Keep being a brat and you’ll end up bent over Argyle’s weird furniture. You have one free cheek.”

Someone knocked hard on the door and they jumped apart. One of Argyle’s friends snickered at them as they hurried out past him.

Steve continued teasing him incessantly throughout the party, dragging him into the pool and wrapping his arms and legs around him so Eddie could carry him around, after they’d gotten out and dried off he got back in then plopped his cold wet self right onto Eddie’s lap and got comfortable. Taking any opportunity to touch him, pulling him in for kisses mid-sentence with their friends if he felt like it, licking invisible crumbs from his fingers as he ate.

“This must be the famous Eddie, then,” a voice came from above them and Steve squawked as he jumped up to throw his arms around the person.

Eddie recognized her immediately from Steve’s instagram.

“Robin! I thought you couldn’t make it!” He was almost jumping up and down, Eddie found himself grinning just from how excited he was.

“Well I texted you a bunch, but it seems like you don’t have your phone.” She looked pointedly down to his tiny bathing suit.

Steve smirked at her and they shared a long look, seeming to have a conversation without talking.

“So Eddie, what are your intentions with my platonic soulmate?” Robin asked seriously as she dropped into the chair next to him. “How do you feel about him wanting six kids?”

Eddie looked quickly between them, throat going dry suddenly, “Uhhh, I mean, um-“

“Aww leave him alone, Bob. I’ve already been messing with him all day,” Steve laughed, plopping himself back into Eddie’s lap.

As the day went on, drinks were consumed and games played, Steve still finding any excuse to use Eddie as a chair and pressing his lips anywhere he could reach.

The final straw was when Steve plucked an ice cube from Eddie’s drink and as he watched, licked some of the dripping drink from it but instead of popping the entire thing in his mouth (which would’ve been hot enough on its own), he tucked it down the front of Eddie’s swim trunks.

Robin laughed at them as Eddie squeaked before grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him into the house.

Steve’s wide grin told him everything he needed to know.

“Thought you liked being my good boy, why are you acting up?” He crowded close to him, cupping his face and making him meet his eyes.

“Want you, Eds, please,” Steve pouted and gave him big puppy dog eyes.

“You’ve been sitting on my dick all day, honey. What else do you need? Huh?”

Steve pulled away and Eddie almost pouted himself, but then he just looked around before asking, “Are there bedrooms here?”

Barking a quick relieved laugh, he took his hand again and they ran up the stairs. Locking the door and pushing Steve against it, he met his desperate kiss and lined up their hips with a groan.

“Take this tiny thing off, babe.” He pulled at the hip of his speedo and Steve giggled.

Together they got their suits off and Eddie shoved him until he landed on the bed. He pulled open the nightstand and his eyebrows shot up. “Good for you, Argyle.”

He threw a condom and a small bottle of lube onto the bed and left the rest alone.

“Yessss, want your huge cock in me,” Steve hissed as he squirmed around on the bed.

“Settle down, Stevie, I think I promised you something else if you were going to keep being a brat,” he taunted.

“Want that, too.” He maneuvered himself onto his knees with his back to Eddie.

Momentarily distracted by his own art on the expanse of skin before him, his eyes then traveled up and he let out a deep groan. “Holy fuck, Stevie. How haven’t I seen this one?”

Eddie traced over the delicate lettering right under his perfect dimples in the small of his back, his jaw actually dropping. “You are just a pretty little babygirl, aren’t you?”

Steve arched his back with a high whine as he dragged his finger down between his cheeks. Without warning he slapped across his bare cheek and chuckled at his little squeak.

“More, c’mon,” he taunted, rising up on his hands on the bed.

Eddie hummed thoughtfully and swatted harder against him a handful of times in quick succession before grabbing a handful of cheek in a harsh grip, enjoying the rough inhale of breath and little whimper he received.

He continued spanking down his thigh and swatting over his perfect tramp stamp until everything was a warm pink and Steve was writhing and widening his legs so he’d get a peak of his pretty hole.

“Please,” Steve whined prettily. “Need your cock, please. Oh fuck!” Eddie smacked once more hard across his ass.

Quickly grabbing the lube, he chuckled as Steve flopped down onto his face on the bed, arching his back and immediately showing off his ass. Eddie swiped his wet fingers across it, trying to prepare him quickly as his own dick screamed at him to just shove inside.

Finally after Steve was a quivering whimpering mess on the bed, he removed his fingers and rolled the condom on.

“Oh, c-could, um,” Steve stammered.

“Why’re you gettin’ shy on me now, pretty? What do you want?”

He huffed, half hiding his face into the sheet under him, and Eddie tried as best he could to patiently wait for him to say something.

“Can, you know, can we do it the other way? Wanna see you. Hold onto you.” Steve couldn’t look at him while he said it, and Eddie wanted to go throttle whoever had told this gorgeous man that he didn’t deserve to be taken care of.

“C’mere, Stevie,” he cooed, and his eyes shot to his, widening when he realized Eddie was serious. He turned over, sitting up on the edge of the bed and Eddie knelt in front of him, pulling him in close. “Gunna treat you so well, babygirl. You already have me wrapped right around your little finger. Of course we can do romantic and soft,” he laughed.

Steve’s eyebrows turned down and he gave him a little pout. “Didn’t say anything about soft,” he grumbled.

They laughed together, and Eddie pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth, then his forehead. “Gunna have me eating out of your hand, aren’t you babygirl? Gunna have me completely whipped. I can already tell.”

Steve simply shrugged and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, wrapping his arms and legs around him. Finally he pulled away, gasping, “Please fuck me already. I can’t wait anymore. And Robin is very needy, she’ll come look for us soon.”

Eddie snorted. “Oh, she’s needy, huh? Must’ve learned that from you.”

He watched as he got his gorgeous self spread out across the bed, fluffing pillows behind his head and threw one playfully at Eddie who helped him shove it under his hips.

He teased him for a long moment, dragging the pierced head of his cock around his hole and over his balls until he was whining and grasping handfuls of sheet. The first push inside made his eyes cross, holding on tight to his thick thighs under his hands. “Like you were made for me, baby.”

Leaning over him, he kissed down his neck and over his nipples, giving them extra attention when it made him clench around him and cry out. “Oh yeah, baby? Sensitive little things, huh? Maybe we’ll see if Argyle can pierce them for you. Or better yet, I’ll get him to show me how, and I’ll be the one to make you even prettier.”

“Oh fuck, yes, oh my god,” Steve wailed as he met the harried thrusts. “I don’t know how you’re real. God I love- love your fucking cock.”

Eddie hummed into his neck. Not the cleanest coverup he’d heard, but he hid his smirk by dragging his teeth across his collarbone. “Going to give me a complex, sweet thing. All this big talk.”

Steve shook his head petulantly, reaching down to feel where he was being split open, squeezing around the base where it wasn’t even all the way in. “It’s so big, Eds. Like even if you weren’t so sweet and the hottest thing on two legs, I’d give it up just for this.”

“Oh, that’s very romantic, honey,” he huffed. Deciding he could talk too well while getting fucked, he pushed at his leg and pulled it over his shoulder, opening him wider and laughing as Steve cried out.

Able to push all the way in now, he got lost in the back and forth, gazing between Steve’s blissed out face and watching himself disappear into him.

“Can- oh! Can feel you in my throat. So deep, Eds. Gunna come.”

Eddie echoed Steve’s groan as his big hands came up to play with his own nipples, Eddie encircling his leaking cock and matching his thrusts.

Steve came hard between them, his gorgeous noises and the clenching around his dick sending Eddie over the edge right behind. Slumping down onto him as they tried to catch their breath, Eddie smirked into his skin when his legs wrapped around his hips.

“I’m not going anywhere, babygirl.”

Surprisingly none of their friends came to look for them, and eventually they had to face the music.

Robin rolled her eyes at them as they opened the sliding glass door to the backyard, and cried out when Steve rushed around to pool towards her.

“No running by the pool, dingus! You’d think you’d be more careful after your crazy embarrassing accident at state.”

Eddie frowned, his attention switching back to Steve as he groaned and went to cover Robin’s mouth. But the secret had already been spilled.

“But I guess Eddie could just cover up more scars,” she giggled, narrowly avoiding Steve’s flailing arms to smirk over at Eddie.

Finally clicking all the pieces together, he found his voice. “You told me it was a motorcycle accident!”

#steddie #steddie summer exchange #steddie smut #tattoo artist Eddie #dom eddie munson #mine #stranger things fic #exchange fic

[pepperstreak]

If you're still looking for things to draw, Eddie Kingston would look mighty dapper in a top hat, a cane, a coat with tails and spats (puttin on the Ritz style)

He getting fuckin dapper as fuck dude!

#eddie kingston #aew #my art

[la-kuntessa]

Hellcheer Headcannon

Hawkins Indiana, 2006

Eddie pours money into Hawkins' Main Street to bring in money from neighboring towns. He saves the movie theater, opens a game/book/comics/nerd shop, expands the children's section in the Library, and buys the Hideout. A lot of what he does is on the hush-hush, he does it cuz he can, not for the glory.

HOWEVER. When he comes to Hawkins High to cut the ribbon on the new Munson Computer Lab, Eddie shows up in a Rolls Royce and full top hat and tails with the MTV news crew.

The town does NOT know what to do. It's hilarious.

#eddie munson headcanons #hellcheer #chrissy and eddie #eddissy #eddie is the new mayor of hawkins indiana #chrissy x eddie #chrissy cunningham #eddie and chrissy #eddie x chrissy #munson memorial boy's bathroom even though hes still alive

[yournowheregirl]

Today I present to you, a silly little headcanon that’s near and dear to my heart: Eddie Munson, local carnival freak.

At the edge of Hawkins, there’s a year-round carnival, lively and loud from spring through fall, and quiet and deserted during the winter time. There are stands where you play games to win prizes, food stalls with delicious sweets, attractions that make your head spin, and in the middle of it all, the freak show.

That’s where little Eddie Munson grows up, in between the strange and bizarre. His parents both work at the carnival, his dad at the shooting range, his mom at the freak show as a so-called ‘real-life mermaid’ (when Eddie was a baby, they even dressed him up in a similar mermaid tail, showcasing him as a merbaby). Eddie’s uncle Wayne also works at the freak show, but doing behind the scenes jobs, rather than acting.

For a kid, growing up at a carnival feels magical. Every day, Eddie run around across the grounds, goes on rides for free, and gets doted on by the the nice ladies at the funnel cake stand, who always saves him a little extra. He also learns all the behind the scenes secrets, like how balloon popping stand is kind of rigged and how the bearded lady glues on extra hair to make her beard look fuller. For him, it’s paradise.

His father wants him to get his hands dirty as soon as he’s old enough, teaching how to clean the rifles and how to make the customer think they’re about to win big, when in actuality, they’re sure to lose. Eddie doesn’t like working with his dad, he always loses his temper whenever Eddie messes something up or complains that his dad didn’t play fair.

And while he doesn’t like working at the shooting range, he loves working at the freak show. He’d spent ages backstage, watching the actors get ready, listening to his mom talk as she did her make-up and got into her costume, helping uncle Wayne count the tickets in the ticket booth.

But what really gets Eddie’s heart racing is when the lights went out and the show’s announcer, Theodore, walks on stage. He’s the one outside in his velvet top hat and cherry red tails who lures people in with promises of a magical and mysterious show, and that showmanship continues inside the tent. With flailing hands and a deep, mesmerizing voice, he compels the audience as he introduces the acts and Eddie watches him with big eyes everyday. When he grows up, he wants to be exactly like Theo.

Theo takes him under his wing, teaches him the secrets of presentation and storytelling but every time Eddie begs him to get on stage, Theo shakes his head and tells him he’s not ready yet. Eddie practices and practices, talking to himself in the ticket booth - Wayne said he’s old enough to run that by himself now - and telling his mother the most elaborate stories. Still, he’s stuck in the ticket booth most of the days, scribbling stories he’d tell one day on a notepad.

One day, Theo is up on his soapbox in front of the tent, when he has the worst coughing fit Eddie has ever seen. He swears he’s too sick to continue so Wayne pushes Eddie forward. He tumbles onto the wooden crate, his limbs trembling as he watches the carnival goers passing by. His voice is shaky at first, but then he remembers Theo’s advice: get their attention and make sure you keep it.

So, Eddie howls like a goddamn wolf, the carnival visitors turn their heads in curiosity and then Eddie presents the freak show like he has done so a thousand times before.

It works.

It works really well, in fact.

Turns out, people go crazy for a scrawny kid with messy curls who promises them a show beyond their wildest imagination. Even people who’d normally never set foot inside, like those preppy kids in their spotless white polos and perfectly coiffed hair, are fascinated by Eddie’s voice and showmanship.

Eddie’s heart is racing once he’s back inside the tent, his mouth going a hundred miles an hour as he tells his mom about what just happened. She just smiles and ruffles his curls and tells him she’s so proud of him. Wayne claps him on the back, tells him a nice work, kiddo and hurries back to start the show.

Eddie follows him, confused because how is the show going to start when Theo is too sick to even speak and why is Theo all dressed up in his top hat and tailcoat sauntering across the stage already? But then, Theo catches his eye from across the tent and winks at him and Eddie knows it was an all act to give his first taste of actual showmanship. And now, he’s hungry for more, so he and Theo make a deal. Eddie’s allowed to be announcer outside, doing whatever it takes to get people inside the tent, and Theo takes care of the presentation inside, saying that Eddie has to work hard to earn his top hat and tails.

It’s a perfectly good solution, except that people outside the carnival start to notice too. The kids who walk past him as he stands on his soapbox, are the same kids that walk past him in the hallways at school and once word gets out that Eddie is the one pulling crazy stunts to get people to see the most bizarre things, they start to make fun of him for it. They whisper rumors behind his back and some girls act all scared as he sits down in class. Some of the boys are shoving him and taunting him to tell them a good story. When he freezes on the spot, unable to speak, they laugh at him and one boy even says that he can see why they hired Eddie because he’s just as big of a freak as the rest of them.

After yet another day of people taunting him for no reason, Eddie cries on the way home. Not because they hurt his feelings, but because he doesn’t understand what his classmates see, he doesn’t see how people could ever think that the people he grew up with, could ever be scary. Because those are the same people who help him with his math homework, who tell jokes and make him laugh until his stomach hurts, who hold his hand when his mom gets sick and his dad gets home drunk out of his mind. Just because they are (or act) a little different, doesn’t mean they’re scary or weird, just means they’re unique.

From that moment on, Eddie wears his newly acquired nickname with pride because his classmates might not see it, but he’s proud to be a freak.

#eddie munson #eddie munson ficlet #stranger things #stranger things fic #listen!! i am a carnival child #i grew up on traveling fun fairs #and my grandma worked at a freak show as a mermaid when she was young #(shout out to you grandma <3) #so this is very dear to my heart #and since i'm probably gonna write a part 2 (maybe 3) with steve's pov #i'm gonna also gonna tag this as #steddie #my writing

[whysodelirious08]

Ok so I saw you wanted ideas for Eddie Munson and Slashers (my beloved men) so I have a request if you’re comfortable with it. Maybe Eddie doing some simple romantic physical affection with a male or gn reader and the reader starts to cry because they never thought they’d ever be loved enough to feel that? idk I need fluff

Antidote

MINOR FRIENDLY!

_____

Pairing: Boyfriend!Eddie Munson x male reader

Genre: FLUFF

TW: none I don't think. Minor friendly!

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: its short and sweet. Hope that this is okay and what you were looking for. I can edit and add onto it if you want more. Just comment!

_____

You hadn't really felt…close with anyone. Not even your parents in the physical way. Not for any particular reason but just life got busy and you were the eldest now. The time for cuddles and close family moments had been gone for a while though no ones fault specifically. Everyone was just getting on with their lives and you had grown used to the lack of touch up until you met Eddie Munson. At first he intimidated you with his appearance and dramatic speech in the cafeteria but you two became unlikely friends that year and you both graduated finally. Due to your work schedule sitting closely with your school one, you didn't take after school classes to catch up on your grades, instead you did that during the quiet moments at the photo printing shop. You barely passed but passed you did, renting a Polaroid camera for the day on graduation. 

And that Polaroid picture of you and Eddie in your gowns and hats was put on his fridge, he had stuck it there moments before you had kissed him. You both were a little drunk, Alcohol being the drink of choice for the mini celebrations you and Eddie had held in his trailer while his under was out. Nothing else happened that night and you went home worrying that you had messed everything up. Eddie finding you that day to talk things over, equally as worried as you about the whole thing. The two of you had started dating on the down low, testing the waters without fully diving into the relationship. You hadn't ever liked a guy before…and Eddie didn't seem like he he'd dated one before. He had told you openly he had hooked up with guys but that was it. 

This particular night was Halloween, the two of you were getting dressed up. He was Doc and you were Marty, having won in heads and tails since Eddie wanted to dress up like Ozzy and for you to dress as a bat but you weren't having it. You were almost traumatised by the story he told you of it. And thought it was a in bad taste to dress up like that. You were a bit shorter than Eddie which made the portrayal of the characters even better. 

"Hey- Eddie? About that trip-" you started as you sat on Eddie's bedroom floor, him in the bathroom before you heard Eddie arrive in the doorframe. 

"Yeah? What's up?" He asked, his smile fading when he noticed how your face had dropped from the beaming smile you had before he left the bedroom five minutes ago. 

"It's just…you're going away for two weeks…I'm going to miss you. I don't have anyone else and people are already talking-" You couldn't help but ramble, eyes locked on to Eddie's before down to your lap, shaking your head at your patheticness. You should make Eddie feel guilty, you knew better than that bur these last few months had been bliss. You two had been taking real slow. You had kissed once or twice but that was it. You were so thankful with how slow and gentle Eddie was being for you. 

"Let them talk. You're mine and I don't care what other people are saying. And you know I'll miss you. I'll call you every chance I get. I'll send lots of post cards and hell, I'll buy a Polaroid camera just to collect pictures for that photo album you're making" Eddie told you in the sweetest, softest voice. Kneeling beside you as he pulled you into his chest, placing a soft kiss on top of your styled hair. You felt a rush of warmth, comfort from Eddie's words, you nuzzled into his chest, a thick smell of cigarettes entered your nose but you didn't care too much, just enjoying the warmth that radiated off Eddie. You felt his ring bare hand rub your back through the thin fabric of your shirt. 

"You promise? You'll call when you can?" You repeated his words, you needed that confirmation before your uneasy mind would settle. You knew you asked a lot of Eddie yet he never seemed to mind. In fact it seemed as if he took pleasure in making sure you were okay which was new for you. 

"I promise. Here, why don't you wear this until I get back. I'll be leaving early tomorrow, before I'll get a chance to meet and say goodbye but I'll leave a voice message on your house phone" Eddie said in a quiet, hushed voice. His fingers hooking his guitar pick necklace over his head and onto yours. You knew how much this meant to Eddie, you never saw home without it yet he was temporarily giving it to you. A silence fell upon the room and your eyes stayed locked onto the necklace while your fingers traced the engraving on the back. And then you felt it. The tears. The thick tears welling up in your eyes and running down your face. How could a man who has given you everything you could ever want, ever need still be so utterly selfless as to give you something to comfort you while he was away. Something that gave Eddie comfort. 

"I can't- this necklace it means everything to you" You whispered, glancing up though your eyes didn't stay long as you moved to take it off and hand it back. A finger met your chin and forced you to look at the brown doe eyed boy. 

"Maybe. But you mean everything to me too. I know you'll keep it safe. And I know you'll be here waiting for me the moment I get back." Eddie almost spoke in a whisper, pulling you into a kiss, featherlight, almost as if he were scared you would break under any amount of pressure. 

The tears still fell, each one he gently wiped away with his calloused thumb against your own delicate cheek. He held you close and rubbed circles in to your back while you let your emotions settle and rise. He was patient most of all. You hadn't ever had someone do such nice things for you. The way Eddie would make the effort to serve you homemade pancakes when you stayed over his. They way he brought only the movies you were interested in to watch even you were at the video rental store. The way he would stare endlessly at you until your cheeks were red and you'd swat his arm and earn a kiss on the cheek and a chuckle. 

No one had ever treated you the way Eddie did. No one had ever taken such consideration the way he did. He looked at you as if you were the antidote to any bad thing in his life. All he wanted.

Was you. 

#eddie munson x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #eddie munson #fandom x reader #writing #x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x y/n

[detectivemaker]

Ideas and stuff 5

1. The Batman audio Adventures version of Jarvis has the personality of Billy from Black Christmas, the dynamic between him and the audio Adventures version of Jonathan can be best described as chaotic murder boyfriends, things they do together are as follows: watch horror movies and laugh at the death scenes, dance together to Creature Feature or Insane Clown Posse, murder and torture people,  trip balls on Joy cure.

2.He looks like is a Madman who escaped from a mental Asylum and disguise himself in Hot Topic clothing, his outfit consist of straight jacket he uses as a coat, checkered black and white pants, a t-shirt that has the words hatters going to hat on it, and a top hat covered in pins that you get from the Alice in Wonderland section of Hot Topic, he was tennis shoes made to look like rabbits feet. appearance-wise his hair is dyed pink and goes halfway down his back, his bangs cover his eyes, his smile has a missing tooth on his upper jaw, and he has a crow tattooed on his chest near his heart. He talks like those LOL random or owo memes. He named his ax Crumpet and put googly eyes on it, he also talked drawn into naming his pocket knife pumpkin pie but he didn't get John to put googly eyes on it, John did draw Eyes On The Hill with Sharpie

3. voice headcanons for my Ocs

Lenoir: Pinkie Pie Applejack from My Little Pony(speaking voice), Marina Diamandis(singing voice)

Louis: Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls Dorothy: mud pie from My Little Pony

4. A villainous x Batman Fusion. Jonathan is blackhat, Jarvis is dementia or in the fusion Mercury, and Edward is flug, I don't really have an idea for 5.0.5.

Jonathan looks like his the new Batman adventures self but he's wearing Shades that cover his eyes,  he does this because his eyes have the ability to show you your deepest fear, and you can't really sell products if all your potential buyers of flailing around in fear hallucinations, I used to be human but one day he summoned a demon and made a deal with it to become powerful and Immortal and exchange for the demon using him to fulfill its dark purpose of spreading evil. He loves both of his employees very much, but he likes hearing them scream just as much

Jarvis has white hair with pink bangs, the hood he wears resembles a rabbit head that has a little top hat on it, one of the rabbit hoodies ears is pierced with a teacup earring, the rest of his clothes include a t-shirt with a bunny skull on it, a mini skirt with a hole on the back for his tail, and shoes made to look like rabbits feet, his powers include super hearing, super speed , powerful kicks, and he's really good at digging holes, his favorite weapon to use is a battle axe covered in bunny stickers

Edward is a brunette, his face is covered by the mask from the Batman movie, he was a lab coat over a green t-shirt with a question mark On it, he likes to collect model cars

the Mansion they live in is an actual Mansion instead of a hat shaped one, there's a car crashed in the side of it, that's the vehicle Eddie came to the mansion in

5. Each tetch crane favorite present they ever got for Christmas

Lenoir: a switchblade on her 16th Christmas

Louis: a book full of his Papa's beer talks and research on his 14th Christmas

Dorothy: a gun on her 21st Christmas

#villainous #Jervis Tetch #hattercrow #Dork squad #ocs #fankid

[ima-ghost-art]

Okay I've been thinking about a stranger things/ rocky horror mash up and like this is a mix of both shipping and who best fit each character and like I think I've got it??

Okay let's start, Eddie is eddie obviously I need him singing hot patootie no question.

Steve? He had 3 options, first janet purely bc I want him to sing creature of the night, second rocky bc he a strong boy, but I'm going with my third idea of Columbia bc steve in rainbow shorts a sparkly tail coat and top hat while getting serenaded by eddie? Yes please!!

Jonathan and Nancy are Brad and Janet, I originally had them as riff raff and magenta but then I couldnt find anyone else for brad and janet lol

Billy is rocky, just billy is rocky it's right in my head okay!

Robin is the criminologist, shed be great lol

Now for Dr Everett v. Scott? I'm on the fence on if its Eddies actual uncle Wayne, Murray, or hopper??

The kids are the party guests

Vecna? Hes definitely Frank n Furter the evil master mind character who is definitely a drama queen and the reason everyone dies.

And finally riff raff and magenta as Tommy H and Carol xD honestly I kinda think adding them is hilarious but couldnt think of a better fit besides Jonathan and nancy lol

Anyhooo if anyone else want to put in their 2 cents I'd love it bc this is been going through my mind all day since one of my top hcs is that Steve and Robin are massive rocky fans (second favourite movie after back to the future)

#steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie #robin buckley #billy hargrove #vecna stranger things #rocky horror picture show

[ranger-rai]

Alright guys, A lot has happened in the last couple of days so let me catch you all up.

So we have been getting some reports of a "Swarm" of pokemon causing some problems around Sinnoh.

We looked into it and after a couple nights of steakouts, we discovered that our "Swarm" was actually a Purrloin who knew Double Team.

Apparently it had been stealing from alot of small homes, mainly trash.

This Purrloin was incredibly aggressive and seemingly protective of something.

We tracked it down to to a small den just outside of Solaceon Town.

Well we were expecting it to be taking care of its kittens, however we did not expect what we actually found.

-------

We found this Purrloin trying to feed the scraps it stole to a Lycanroc.

The Purrloin was very protective and tried attacking us.

It was surprisingly tough for a single Purrloin, however we managed to restrain it.

However we found it weird that this Dusk Lycanroc wasn't moving or reacting much.

I went and checked it out when it was clear and we found something really unsettling.

This Lycanroc has some spine problems, I know this because it struggled to get up but when it did, it got on four legs, then two legs.

Now a Dusk form Lycanroc is made to be on all four like this

However its back is arced upwards like it's slouching.

It's also shaking a bit, and is covered in scratches and bruises.

Every time I try and get close the Purrloin starts thrashing and clawing.

We let it go and it made its way back to the Lycanroc, and started to guard it again.

We knew this was bad, so we made a plan to try and help them.

-------

We managed to get Purrloin secure once again and Lycanroc into a cage very carefully, but we kept them close together as we transported them.

Lycanroc was surprisingly docile and just seemed tired and dehydrated, so we made sure it got plenty of water.

Purrloin was on edge the whole time, making sure that Lycanroc ate, and keeping us at a distance, but I caught her eating from time to time.

We had to hold her down once again, but she used her double team to evade us for a bit. She really knows how to use that move.

Eventually we restrained her when we got to the Ranger Base and we had a medical technician look at Lycanroc.

They said that it had some severe spine misalignment, not from an injury but from constant strain.

At some point during our conversation, we noticed Lycanroc trying to get up, and "stand up" again on two legs, like a Midnight Form Lycanroc.

It was really odd to see, and the tech helped put it him back onto two legs, but it almost seemed scared to be touched when in that position.

This wasn't battle damage, this was intentional trauma.

Purrloin was definitely upset, and managed to get free and started scratching at the technician.

Thankfully I restrained her so the technician could work more, and I calmed her down a bit.

The tech said that they would need to run some tests on the Lycanroc to see if they could fix his back, so we had to let him stay for a while.

However we couldn't leave Purrloin there in case she tried to attack the tech again.

-------

I didn't want to seperate them, but I needed her to be somewhere safe while the technician did his job, so I got her into a carrier and took her with me on my rounds.

She was hissing and scratching for a while but I sat and talked with her for a bit and she seemed pretty alert but much calmer.

Most of the day was just a usual trip around my areas, however I started finding alot more litter in some areas.

There was alot of trash on the ground in a park area just outside Veilstone City, and normally I would pick it all up, but there was alot, almost like there was a carnival recently there, but there was nothing planned as far as I knew.

I also noticed Purrloin getting really upset and hissing a lot.

I looked around the trash and found a bunch of flyers for some kind of venue.

"Mister E's Enigmas"

The flyer listed a sort of sideshow of oddities.

Things like:

The Fire Breathing Treecko Brothers, Dancing Donphan, and their star attraction-

"The Were-Lycanroc" a pokemon that could switch between forms.

That's when it hit me, and I knew someone was going to get in trouble.

-------

After bringing this information to the technician and my boss Jo. Me and my Ranger Team decided to attend the show incognito to see if we were right, and boy we wish we weren't.

We attended what could only be described as a shifty, pop up carnival.

There were a few games, a couple food trucks, and a large tent that held the "main events".

There were some "exotic" holding cages that people could interact with like a small cage for two Emolga to live in, they could barely get into the air before smacking into the roof.

There was a small area that had a large heat lamp for "desert" pokemon, but it was mostly a browning Cacnea, a Trapinch with barely enough sand to cover its body, and a Salandit which didn't belong there.

There were others but we already knew what those cages would be like as well.

The show kn the main stage was getting ready to start, so we decided to check it out.

"Mister E" took to the stage, he had your typical big top attire, top hat, long tails, but he had a stripey pattern that made him look like a hypnotic wheel.

He introduced his first act, which was "The Fire Breathing Treecko Brothers". I was worried.

Now Treecko is a Grass Type, and it only learns one grass type move naturally: Sunny Day.

They also don't have any natural immunities to fire types, so this didn't make much sense for normal Treecko.

From what I saw in the act, they learned how to eat fire and pretend they were using flamethrower. However you could tell they didn't like it. Treecko are calm and collected pokemon, but those two looked stressed out, and they were molting a bit in certain areas near their face and tails, probably due to the flames and stress.

After them was the "Dancing Donphan". Donphan is a very heavy pokemon, and it's main skill is rolling like a tire.

This Donphan looked much lighter, like it hadn't been fed its regular amount to keep it healthy.

Minnie also mounted out that the music playing during the dance had a weird sound mixed in. Basically, whenever we heard the sound, Donphan would do a move like jumping or rolling over. The sound was similar to a sort of crash, but it was clear that it was a sound that Donphan was afraid of.

Now came the finale, "The Were-Lycanroc" however that part didn't happen, and instead they brought out some clowns and the Treecko Brothers again.

Thats when we knew what was really happening.

-----

I went back to check on Lycanroc who was sleeping like a log with Purrloin right next to it.

I didn't remember any cages with any feline pokemon in them so maybe it was just a wild Purrloin, but I wasn't going to disturb them to find out.

The doctor told me that it might take some time, but Lycanroc's spine and back legs were forced to move in positions they weren't supposed to for so long, that it would take some time, therapy and equipment to help it.

If there was a chance to help this poor pokemon I knew we would take it, but we also couldn't leave all of those other pokemon to suffer.

We were about to get really busy at the Ranger Base.

------

The next day, Me and Minnie went incognito one more time and we had to sit through that horrible show once more.

We had Skip with us, helping to send info and let us know of any devices or intercept their communications.

Turns out we didn't know that was happening because they had police scanners to avoid getting caught and they had wireless security cameras inside the tent.

They were prepared, but so were we.

My whole team was on board, both Humans and Pokemon.

We had a plan that began with Kuriboh knocking out some generators by sneaking around and unplugging everything he could.

That caused some confusion for a bit while we got in place. While they went to secure their "precious cargo", we made our presence known.

Eddie was outside the tent, dealing with the muscle and moving crews, his Bewear is very strong and pretty quick too, so we didn't need to worry about them much.

However we still had Mister E.

I told Bliss to keep an eye on him so we wouldn't loose him in the panic, but we had a delay as some of the Treeco Bros fire got out of control and some of the tent started to catch on fire.

Minnie and her Cloyster were immediately ready to deal with it and she was ready to help the Treeco Bros as well.

Bliss was able to keep tabs on the ringleader who was trying to get into his van and split, most likely with his cash.

However, Sylvester doesn't like people who mistreat pokemon, and Jo's Tangrowth has some really strong vines. Strong enough to rip car doors off hinges.

------

We had caught this terrible man, and we discovered he had been doing this for a couple of years, just now making his way through Sinnoh, and he was looking for some pokemon to add to his show.

We also watched some of his security tapes and we learned that "Were-Lycanroc" was really just a Dusk Form that he forced to stand up and slouch over by constantly whipping with a flexible stick. And with the assistance of red lights, smoke machines and music, hey could make people think it was changing forms.

We also learned that Purrloin was tossed into Lycanroc's cage, possibly as a "play thing" but I guess he actually made a friend either her and hiding her from Mister E, and she had been caring for him as well, stealing food and causing trouble for them whenever she could.

Needless to say, we were able to get them arrested, and we are now in the process of evaluating some of these pokemon, but we may have too many to deal with here.

We might need to reach out for some help.

------

In the case of Lycanroc and Purrloin, they are comfortably resting in holding, and Lycanroc is be getting fitted for some equipment to help its spine and legs heal.

I'll be checking on them soon, but for now me and my team need to rest after this long day.

#pokemon ranger #pokemon #ranger rai #ask me anything #sinnoh #ask me questions #ask me a question #the ranger base #ranger logs #purrloin #lycanroc #treecko #donphan #my team #my ranger team #beedrill #bliss #nuzleaf #kuriboh #aggron #sylvester #skip #porygon #ranger minnie #ranger eddie #boss jo #rai headcanon

[awxward]

A3! Boys + My Stuffed Animals

Spring Troupe:

Sakuya

Gabriel

Gabriel is a small elephant with big ears that constantly make him fall over. He has a pink bowtie that says 'I Love You'

Makes Saku feel safe and Gabriel is a reminder to himself that he's loved and appreciated by everyone at Mankai.

Named after a friend from theatre class :)

Masumi

George Washington

George Washington is a tiger. He is small, but his arms are like those slap bracelets so you can wear him on your wrist (or let him hang on the side of shelf like I do).

So I got Georgy-Boy for easter 2020. i asked my friends for name ideas. They sent me stuff like 'Stripes'. I went offline for a few minutes and when I came back online I told my friends his name was George Washington.

//////////

Me: tiger has a name now

Friend: which name did you choose?

Me: his name is George Washington.

Friend: what the fuck. how'd you get George Washington?

//////////

Pretty sure he got the name bc I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.

Citron

Daniel

Daniel is mostly pink but has other pastel colors that look like watercolors. He's a unicorn. And a ketchain. And he's one of those dream lites, so he lights up. (He's supposed too anyway, but he's never lit up since i got him like 7 years ago at a yard sale).

Named after Daniel Howell (formerly danisnotonfire) [YouTube]

Tsuzuru

Lucifer

Lucifer is a small panda pillow pet. Very easy to travel with bc he fits in most backpacks.

My mom told me she wanted me to have a stuffed animal with a biblical name, i picked him up, looked her in the eye and said "His name is Lucifer." My mom tried to protest. "You said a biblical name, Mom. Lucifer is in the bible."

Itaru

Pao(???)

Pao is a panda. They are also a phone holder thingy. Like it'll hold your phone if you're watching movies or whatever.

Like 5-ish years old. Got them from a friend. They have a tag with their name on it, but I read it once and then just called them "the panda" for some reason instead of their actual name and now the tag is too faded to read the name, but i am 38% sure it says Pao or something close to that.

Chikage

Tsuki

Tsuki is a dinosaur. Tsuki is a sparkly dino. He's green rn, but if you brush your hand over him, the sparkles turn over and he becomes orange. I like green tho bc his tummy and the bottom of his feet are orange and so are his eyes.

Named after Tsukishima Kei (Haikyuu)

Summer Troupe:

Tenma

Hinata

Hinata is a narwhal. A bright orange narwhal. Infact he is the same color as Tenma's hair.

Named after Hinata Shoyo (Haikyuu) [bc its the same color as his hair. there is a theme with this narwhal and the anime boys i associate with them]

Yuki

Steve

Steve is a regular teddy bear, except he has a shirt that has pikachu on it. (the shirt was originally Tsuki's bc i got tsuki at a friends build a bear bday party, but it fits Steve better)

I just think Yuki would try new designs/color schemes/styles by making clothes for Steve to see how they look.

I got Steve from a claw machine (my bf at time won him for me just before we watched Endgame together.)

Named after Steve Rogers (Marvel)

Muku

Eeyore

Muku most definitely loves the Winnie the Pooh movies and I will fite for this hc. He gets my Eeyore. You know how Eeyore's tail is always going missing or falling off??? Eeyore's tail comes off (velcro) but its attached to his actual body with a string so it cant be misplaced.

Eeyore has a patch that says "official disney store" but i got him for $3 at a thrift store.

Misumi

Sherlock

Sherlock is a polar bear. Sherlock is very huggable. He makes Misumi feel safe. He has a hat and scarf (that don't come off. they are sewn on him)

the hat has a pom pom on top and the scarf has a pom pom on each end. the hat and scarf and the bottom of his feet have a blue/white plaid pattern.

Kazunari

Victor

Victor is a puppy and the first big stuffed animal of mine on the list! He's all tan and abt maybe 3-4 ft long. Victor lays pretty flat so he's comfy to lay/sit on. I think Kazu would like sitting or laying on him when drawing. Probably has him on his bed so he's like a giant pillow.

Victor is from Toys R Us. I got him last August-ish from my Aunt and Uncle who found him at a thrift store and thought I'd like him.

Named after Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice)

Kumon

PJ

PJ is a small white tiger. He is also a ball. He can fit in one hand. When Kumon is thinking or stressed or bored (etc) he just lays on his back and tosses PJ up into the air.

When Kumon is laying on the floor tossing PJ, Misumi sits on the bed closest to where PJ is and tries to grab him (but only if Kumon is in a good mood and okay with it) It's a fun little game they made up they like to play.

Pretty sure he was named after KickthePJ (YouTube)

liber pls give us a pic with all of autumn i am begging

Autumn Troupe:

Banri

Sammy

Sammy is another one of my large stuffed animals. He is also a puppy, but unlike Victor he is sitting instead of laying. He's abt 2-3 ft tall. His fur is the same color as Banri's hair. Great to squeeze at anytime, but very therapeutic when you're in a bad mood. Has a heart on his ear.

i got him abt 7 years ago. I had just finished spn season 2 and was upset abt the finale and had no way to start season 3.

Named after Sam Winchester

Juza

Tiggs

Tiggs is a beanie baby tiger. Tiggs is a little larger than PJ (and not a ball). He's a regular orange tiger instead of a white tiger like PJ. He'd buy Kumon PJ so they could have matching stuffed animals. Small and very comforting to just hold/hug.

Omi

Benedict (Ben)

Benedict, also known as Ben, is a small koala. Just a little bigger than Tiggs. He has a heart on one of his feet (i think the right one). very soft. very fluffy.

Named after Benedict Cumberbatch (Actor)

Taichi

Dean

Dean is my largest stuffed animal. He is a dark brown teddy bear that's abt 4-ish ft tall. He can be put in a corner and used as like a bean bag chair, or he can lay down flat and be a good pillow like Victor can.

It's very fun to just wrap around him and squeeze as tight as you can. Especially in when your in a bad mood. Very comforting to cry into.

I got him a couple years ago at a thrift store.

Named after Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

Sakyo

Lev

Lev is a lion abt the size of a regular teddy bear (maybe slightly larger). I got him a thrift store so he's slightly worn out from age. He's mostly a pastel dark yellow-ish tan and his mane is dark brown. very huggable.

He's the stuffed animal I sleep with. Smells nice all the time, like the fabric softener.

Named after Lev Haiba (Haikyuu)

Sakoda

Emotional Support Iron Man

So Iron Man is small and he sparkles. He will hurt you/someone if thrown hard enough. Sakoda likes heroes bc they remind him of Sakyo they look cool. I'd hc that he got Iron Man from Sakyo when he was younger and its one of his most valued possessions and goes everywhere with him (or stays with Azamo or Sakyo at the dorm. Maybe Izumi or a couple others are on the list of who can watch over Iron Man.) Very protective of it.

Got the emotional support part of his name from a friend.

She saw Eddie Redmayne on a movie cover (think it was The Danish Girl) and started freaking out bc she loved him. I handed her the Iron Man and the next day she thanked me and said he was an Emotional Support Iron Man and the name stayed.

Azami

[Emotional Support] Spooder-Mon

Sakoda knew Azami as a kid. He most definitely got him the Spider-Man so they could have matching plushies.

Spider-Man is square and has little blob hands doing the web thingy. The tag said travel pillow, but he probably just chills by Azami's bed. When needed, Iron Man will be placed next to him if Sakoda can't take Iron Man with him.

I brought him to school one day and we had a bio test and all the people sitting around me passed him around and gave him a pat for good luck. We all got good grades and then he was dubbed as Emotional Support Spooder-Mon, but the Emotional Support title isnt part of his name (unlike the Iron Man).

i wanted guy in the pic, but i also wanted tsumu and hiso in the pic so you get 2 pics for winter

Winter Troupe:

Tsumugi

Phil

Phil is a zebra. He is a pillow pet zebra. Like Lucifer, Phil is also easy travel size. The bottom half of Phil is pink, so I refer to him as my pink zebra.

I just think it'd be cute to have Tsumugi with a pillow pet ok. I also thought he'd probably have has Phil for many years (since he was a kid) and Tasuku most definitely brings up things from when they were kids and shit.

//////////

Tasuku: you chose the pink zebra, and for what???

Tsumugi: its a very aesthetically pleasing pastel pink.

Tasuku: THERE WAS A DOG PILLOW PET RIGHT THERE AND IT WAS CUTER

Tsumugi: dont talk bad abt Phil.

the rest of mankai: ????????

//////////

I got phil before I got Lucifer many years ago. He was old when i got him and he is very old now. I love him so much.

Named after Phil Lester (AmazingPhil) [YouTube]

Tasuku

Cap

Cap is a husky. He was won from a claw machine with Steve.

There's just something abt the grey and white that gave me Tasuku vibes. Also, Cap's eyes are abt the same shade of blue as Tsumugi's and Tasuku knows this bc they are in love. Very squishy when hugged and with the way he sits, you could make it look like he's guarding something.

Named after Captain America (Marvel)

Homare

Ushijima (Ushi)

Ushijima, also called Ushi, is the last of my giant stuffed animals. He is abt 2-3 ft tall (like Sammy) and has a tail abt the same length.

Ushi is a raccoon thats mostly hot pink. Ushi's eyes are also pink and just abt the same shade as Homare's hair, although Ushi's fur is brighter by a few shades.

Ushi hurts when thrown/swung hard enough. Very fun to hug bc he's filled with beans (like beanie babies) so unlike all my other giant animals, he doesn't have to be fixed/adjusted after everytime you squeeze him. The tail has cotton tho and makes a good pillow.

Homare would definitely just see a 3 ft tall hot pink raccoon and claim it with no explanation.

Named after Ushijima Wakatoshi (Haikyuu)

Hisoka

Vladmir Dracula the 3rd (Vlad, Drac)

Vladmir Dracula the 3rd, who has many other names but usually goes by Vlad or Drac, is a vampire (surprise).

Vlad is a squishmallow thingy, and their tags say something abt them being able to be used as pillows, and thats why Hisoka gets Vlad.

Vlad is triangular in shape, with triangle ears, and triangle fangs, so I thought abt Misumi, but i figured Hisoka bc it's a pillow.

He's like the perfect travel size and he has a cape and a bowtie.

Named after Vlad the Impaler, the real life inspiration behind Dracula (my brother thought he was named after Vladmir Putin and I wanted to punch him for that but I was too busy laughing.)

Also named after Dracula, who was a vampire.

Idk where 'the 3rd' came from, but it's part of his name for forever.

Azuma

Sebastian

Sebastian is a dinosaur thats blue with a white tummy.

He's also a squishmallow, but he's bigger than Vlad by abt 2× as wide, so he'd be harder to carry around, which is why Hisoka got Vlad instead. Being a squishmallow means he looks more blob than dinosaur and i love it.

His tag said his name was Dominic or something, but I named him Sebastian before I actually checked the tag, so he's Sebastian.

Named after Sebastian (Black Butler) and Sebastian Stan (Actor)

Guy

Moriarty

Moriarty is my other polar bear. I got him with Sherlock and named him Moriarty bc Moriarty is Sherlock's nemesis.

He's just a plain white bear thats very huggable and adorable. I usually have a bowtie on him bc it makes him look fancy.

Guy would like him bc he's plain white and very fluffy.

#a3! act! addict! actors! #spring troupe #summer troupe #autumn troupe #winter troupe #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #citron #tsuzuru minagi #itaru chigasaki #chikage utsuki #tenma sumeragi #yuki rurikawa #muku sakisaka #misumi ikaruga #kazunari miyoshi #kumon hyodo #banri settsu #juza hyodo #omi fushimi #taichi nanao #sakyo furuichi #ken sakoda #azami izumida #tsumugi tsukioka #tasuku takato #homare arisugawa #hisoka mikage #azuma yukishiro #guy a3

[swaps55]

For Sam and Kaidan if you are so inspired: Making snowmen in an empty field and Getting happily drunk off spiked eggnog - because the idea of drunk Sam building a snowman makes me giggle!

Kaidan grabs Shepard by the arm as they stumble off the front porch, a half-empty thermos of Alma’s eggnog in hand. Eggnog probably isn’t the right beverage to carry with them while traipsing through snow drifts, but fuck it. They’ve earned a few bad decisions.

Besides, for one hundred and thirty-four, Alma makes some good fucking eggnog.

“Snow’s that way,” Shepard complains when Kaidan drags him to a halt halfway down the stairs. “Can’t build a snowman on the porch.”

“Hang on. Hang on. We need a carrot.”

“Why the fuck do we need a carrot?”

“For the nose.”

“Snowmen have carrots for noses?”

Kaidan’s brow knits in confusion. “Of course they have carrots for noses.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Kaidan trails off. Huh. Well. Now he’s stumped. Why do they have carrots for noses? There has to be a reason. Right?

“Because,” he declares, with all the unearned confidence he can muster. “It’s…pointy. And snowmen are…round. It’s about the contrast.”

Shepard blinks, giving the explanation due consideration. “Okay you’ve convinced me. I have carrots in the barn.” He stops short. “Don’t tell Echo.”

“Major Tom’s the one you have to worry about. That cat’s a damn snitch.”

“And she outranks me,” Shepard points out.

“Oh, fuck, she does.” Kaidan frowns. “Hey, I outrank you, and I still took orders from you.”

“Not when we’re naked.”

Kaidan jabs him in the chest with a finger. “Damn right.” He frowns at Shepard’s coat, trying to parse what’s wrong with it. When it dawns on him, he fumbles for the zipper, and after a few misses, manages to zip it up. “Don’t want you to catch cold,” he says with an affectionate pat.

Shepard boops his nose with a finger before pulling on his gloves.

Once they pilfer a carrot from Echo’s stash in the barn they head for her paddock, where it only takes Shepard three tries to get the gate open. To his credit, at least one of the failed attempts is because snow is in the way. The red mare eyes them curiously from across the field, and starts trudging her way over, leaving tracks in the snow.  

“Okay. How do you build a snowman?” Shepard asks.

“With snow,” Kaidan replies.

“Very helpful.”

Kaidan shoves his shoulder. “You make a ball. And then another ball. And put the ball on the ball, then top it with another ball.”

“Can they be big balls?”

Kaidan holds his hands apart for emphasis. “Really big balls.”

Shepard sniggers.

When they get to the center of the paddock Kaidan drops to his knees in the thick blanket of snow and uses his arms to scoop together as much snow as he can manage.

“Y’see?” Kaidan says. “Y’just…make a snowman.”    

“By smooshing snow into balls.”

“Yep.”

“This is so fucking weird.”

Echo approaches the growing pile of snow cautiously, stretching her neck and blowing her nostrils at it. When it doesn’t retaliate, she paws at it with a hoof, sending snow flying.

“Hey!” Shepard gently shoves her nose. Echo snorts and shies away, kicking up snow eddies. When Shepard doesn’t react to her theatrics she saunters back over and butts at his back pocket.

“Outta here, kiddo. I’m workin’.”

“She’s after your nose,” Kaidan points out. “I told you Major Tom was a snitch.”   

Shepard’s hand shoots to the carrot stuffed in his back pocket and gives the mare a stern look. “Fuck off, this nose is reserved for someone else.”

“Shoulda brought her her own nose.”  

“Find your own nose!” Shepard exclaims, throwing his hands up when Echo persists. “This is my first snowman. You can’t have its nose.”

While Shepard argues with the horse, Kaidan smirks and packs a ball of snow in the palm of his glove. His aim is perfect. Well, perfect in that it at least it doesn’t miss.

Shepard yelps, the Savior of the Galaxy yelps, when the snowball hits. Echo bolts, tail up in the air like a flag. Shepard stares down at the snow sliding off the front of his jacket, then looks back up at the perpetrator.

“You.”

Kaidan cackles and runs, but doesn’t get far before Shepard tackles him from behind and plants him face-first in the snow. He sputters as Shepard rolls him over and swallows him up in a kiss.

“Fuck, Alma makes some potent eggnog,” Kaidan manages when Shepard turns him loose. “I think found a pocket of brandy under your tongue.”

“You had to go and brag about biotic metabolism,” Shepard says. “To her face. This’s…revenge, that’s what it is.”

“Tastes good for revenge, though.”  

“And at least it isn’t fucking peppermint.”

“Fuck you, kiss me.”

Shepard obliges. It’s deep, intense, and fuck his lips are cold. Kaidan settles back into the snow, heedless of the flakes sneaking into his boots and soaking through his very not-waterproof hat. Shepard’s breath is warm, his biotic field sending a current that reverberates from head to toe.  

“Getting a little handsy, are we?” Shepard murmurs into his mouth.

Kaidan does a quick inventory. He’s only got two hands, last time he checked, and one is pinned to his chest, while the other is making damned sure Shepard doesn’t get it in his head to stop kissing him.

“No?”

“Then what—”

A crunching sound that isn’t snow reaches Kaidan’s ears, and he dissolves into laughter. “I think Echo stole your nose.”

Shepard looks over his shoulder to find the red mare standing over them, dribbling chunks of carrot spit on his back.

“You little shit. Now how is this fucker going to breathe?”

Kaidan uses his free hand to turn Shepard’s head back in his direction. “Listen here, Commander, I did not say you could stop making out with me.”

“But snowman,” Shepard protests. “Also, did you know snow is really fucking cold?”

Kaidan strokes his cheek with a gloved finger. “Then how about we go get warm, restock on noses, and once you’ve kissed me stupid in front of the fire we give it another try?”

Shepard bobs his head. “Yeah. This is a good plan. I like this plan.” He shakes the thermos. “Also, more eggnog.”

“Well, no shit more eggnog.”

“It’s good eggnog.”

Kaidan’s turn to boop Shepard on the nose. Shepard grins and gives him one more kiss before they help each other to their feet. It only takes two tries, too.

Shepard looks at the pathetic start to their snowman. Between the kissing and Echo’s flee right through the middle of the bottom ball they still have a lot of work to do.

“Kissing first,” Shepard declares before taking Kaidan by the end. “Then more snowman.”

“Oh shit, we forgot eyes.”

“…what the hell are their eyes made out of?”

“…coal? I think?”

Shepard puts a hand to his chin, deep in thought. “I think we have grapes.”

“Perfect.”

Kaidan loops an arm through his as they fumble back towards the house. “Yeah,” he says, leaning his head on Shepard’s shoulder. “Perfect.”  

#theoriginalladya #mshenko #kaidan alenko #mass effect #my fic #ok i got a little into this one #sorry not sorry #technically y'all have not met alma yet #she's coming up next in fugue #she's a 134 year old lesbian and i would die for her

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Doors in the Woods

For Kidgemas 2020. December 28 is labeled as a Free Day, so I chose to write an AU where Pidge and Keith are keyblade masters.

Summary: Kingdom Hearts AU. Keith has a surprise for Pidge on one of the many world's he has visited.

Also posted on AO3 under the username “kishirokitsune”.

❄ - ❄ - ❄ - ❄ 

Pidge stumbled a little as she and Keith appeared on solid ground in a shimmer of pale green light. She quickly reoriented herself and began to look around in confusion. Keith hadn't told her where they were going or what they were doing, only that he had a surprise that he wanted to show her, but Pidge wasn't seeing how a dark forest full of trees without leaves was the makings of a good surprise.

“Uh, Keith?” she questioned, turning to face him.

And promptly stopped to try and comprehend the sight before her.

It was undoubtedly Keith, but his appearance had completely changed. His skin was a shade of light purple and there were twin triangular stripes in a darker shade rising up from the bottom of his jaw. His hair was fluffed up and a pair of purple, cat-like ears stuck out from it. Even his clothing was different, with the red and yellow on his jacket turned to shades of gray.

Keith caught her eyes (his were glowing or at least they appeared to be) and grinned. “That's a good look on you.”

Pidge looked down at herself and gasped in surprise when she found that her clothes had also been leeched of their color and were also in shades of gray and black. In addition to that, the bottom hem of her pants was no longer straight and was instead deep triangular cuts. Her sweater was a little longer as well, fitting almost like a short dress, and the sleeves billowed out slightly at her wrists. She felt the top of her head and found, not cat-like ears, but a traditional witches hat.

“What is this?” she asked, completely mystified.

“Part of the Gummi Ship's magic. It helps us blend in with some of the worlds we visit and, you know, preserve the world order and all of that,” Keith waved his hands dismissively, his tone one of someone repeating something said to him many times before. “This is Halloween Town.”

“Halloween Town,” Pidge repeated as she took another look around. “Fascinating. So, why are we here?”

Keith grinned at her. “That's part of the surprise. C'mon, we're going this way.” He gestured deeper into the woods.

If not for the fact that she trusted him with all of her heart, Pidge would have fled to the Gummi Ship and back to their home in the Land of Departure, probably stranding Keith there in the process. And so, despite her misgivings about striding into a dark, possibly haunted forest, she followed Keith along a well-worn path and kept a sharp eye out for anything lying in wait to attack.

Eventually the path opened up into a barren field. Several large trees had various things painted on their trunks. Pidge counted seven of them – a heart, a four-leaf clover, a painted egg, some sort of red box with gold stars on it, a bird with massive tail feathers, a pumpkin with a face carved into it, and, on the farthest end of the clearing, an evergreen decorated with round baubles.

There was a part of Pidge that wanted to stop and investigate every single one, but Keith continue on up to the tree, where he stopped and waited for her to catch up.

“This world is more unusual than most,” Keith told her. “Not just because our appearance changes to match the people who live here, but also because of these doors.”

“They're doors?!” Pidge asked incredulously. She peered a little closer at the tree and that was when she spotted it – one of the side baubles protruded out just like a doorknob.

Keith nodded. “I don't know how it's possible, but each of these doors leads to another world. They're all connected and from what I can tell, each of the worlds has a place like this. I haven't visited any of the others since they seemed to all be locked up tight, but this one was open the first time I came here.”

“So, this is the door we're going through?” Pidge asked.

Keith grasped the doorknob and twisted, slowly pulling open the tree-shaped door to reveal a dark tunnel leading down into the ground.

Pidge leaned forward and peered into the tunnel, but saw nothing but inky darkness waiting for her. “Is... is it safe?”

“Completely,” Keith assured her. “But I could go first, if you'd like.”

Pidge considered his offer and then shook her head. “No, I can do this. I have to be a little more adventurous if I want to prove myself as a Keyblade Master, right? If you say it's safe, then I trust you.”

Keith smiled and offered her his hand, which she took before stepping up onto the bottom of the door. Pidge breathed in deep and then jumped in.

She felt the air whip past her, racing up under her clothing and threatening to knock away her hat, and she almost screamed in fright. Light appeared beneath her, drawing closer and closer, and for a heart-stopping moment Pidge thought for sure that she was about to collide with the ground, but instead everything shifted around her and suddenly the light was above her and she was floating up to an open door and being gently deposited outside of it.

Her jaw dropped as her boots touched down in the snow.

It was everywhere.

Covering the ground! The trees! The fence-posts! Everything covered in a fine layer of snow and frost, like something out of a scenic painting. Even one of the waypoints created by the Gummi Ship was effected by the snow, creating tiny eddies of flurries as the magic spun around.

Keith exited the doorway behind her and rested one hand on her shoulder. “What do you think?”

“Keith, it's beautiful,” she gushed. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”

There was a smile on Keith's lips as he watched her skip out into the snow, clearly enjoying herself. “You're welcome, Pidge.”

#voltron #kidge #fanfiction #kidgemas 2020 #kidge mini event

[junobeachsurf]

Surfing Tips For Beginners

Surfing is an indoor water sport in which a person, typically a surfer, applies a surfboard to a flat surface, typically a surfing wave, that takes the surfer to the edge, or the bottom, of an extremely moving eddy pool of water. Unlike most other water games, surfing at its most basic level, involves nothing more than the individual being able to move his body relatively quickly. When the player reaches the edge he is said to "surf", or "kick out". The actual act of surfing is very similar to playing a sport like beach volleyball, where the player will use his body as a springboard and attempt to shoot the ball into the hoop of the net, hopefully hitting it back out for a point.

Because surfing is an exercise in flexibility and balance, it can be difficult to watch without becoming intensely interested in learning how to surf. There are several different types of waves used in surfing, all of which have distinct characteristics relating to their potential impact on surfers. It is therefore important to become familiar with the different kinds of waves present in a particular surfing zone so that you are better prepared to cope with and possibly avoid these potential hazards.

In terms of the actual waves available to surf, it is best to try out your skills in smaller locales before trying them out in the ocean. There are many places throughout the world that offer surfing opportunities on small, calm water, such as beaches. You can also try your hand at surfing in the Southern California beaches. However, the waves in these locations are typically much stronger, much larger, and oftentimes more unpredictable. It is often best to try out surfing in waves that are not too big, and that are less likely to break when you are riding on your surfboard. These conditions are more likely to help you develop the skills necessary to control your surfing vessel in such adverse weather conditions. Click over here Juno Beach Surf

As you progress from being a beginner to an intermediate surfer and beyond, you will want to be sure to check out the topography of the ocean floor where you are planning to surf. Most beginners begin their surfing travels in Northern California, Northern Hawaii, and along the Eastern seaboard of the United States. The types of waves they face and the elevations they encounter will depend on the type of waves they will face as well as the elevations of the ocean floor itself. These conditions are known as "the meter" and "wave height." Learning about the metering and the height of waves can make all the difference between a fun day of learning how to surf and a life-threatening crisis.

Groundswell is often an unavoidable risk when you are surfing in unfamiliar territory. Ocean floor currents are complex and often unpredictable, sometimes even when you are aware of what lies beneath. Wave height is also another element involved in surfing that can vary based on the topography. For example, certain wave heights are good in certain environments while others are dangerous in others. If you are entering the water on a flat shoreline, waves break closer to the surface, but if you are coming in on a steep slope or approaching shore at a turn, groundswell makes the waves much higher, sometimes even up to the eye level!

Fins are an important component of your surfboard. Different surfboard materials have different weights and provide different tipping stresses and reactions. Choices include fiberglass, wood, steel, carbon fiber, and composite materials. Fiberglass fins are light, cost effective, and forgiving when it comes to beach breaks. Wood is great for getting a soft feel under your foot, but the flexing of wood fins can lead to being painfully smacked by a large surfboard tip.

Tip size and shape are two other important considerations in choosing a surfboard. Fins with tapered tips tend to have more of an impact on your surfing performance than a flat tip, and larger fins with a little tip will give you more of an advantage in flatwater. The right surfboard shape can vary from hardtail, which are long and narrow for a flat shore, to freestyle, which is shorter and has a more generous lip. Some surfers who perform their best in windy conditions like to surf in an "S" shape, with the tail of the board pointing out towards the rider.

While surfing, you should wear all the appropriate clothing for your skill level, available in your local sporting goods store. Tops need to be breathable to allow air to flow through them; bottoms need to be firm to help avoid injury, but flexible. Hats, t-shirts, and shorts should always be wearing with water shoes to prevent damage to the surfboard. Surfing boards come in different lengths depending on the type of surf you are doing. You can rent surfboards at most sporting goods stores. However, surfboards can also be bought directly from manufacturers if you are a skilled surfer and have access to specialized surfboard equipment.

[kathyprior4200]

“Murder on the Air!” Human Alastor complete timeline

https://altried.tumblr.com/post/190010451473/my-take-on-human-alastor-i-like-to-think-he-is

Character profile

Name: Alastor (meaning Greek spirit of vengeance/tormentor)

Birth: January 24th 1896, New Orleans, Louisiana (VA Edward Bosco’s birthday is January 24, 1986)

Human name:  Alastor Roscoe Duvalier Cajun (Roscoe means deer forest and is also an old term for a handgun. Duvalier is last name of Voodoo genocidal dictator of Haiti.)

Race: Part White (French-American from his father) part Creole (Native American and African-American from his mother).

Hair color: Brown (red and black in Hell) usually short, sometimes in a small ponytail or brown ends reaching slightly past his ears

Eye color: Brown (red in Hell)

Skin color: Light brown (pale gray in Hell) thin pointed chin, lanky agile body

Clothing: brown/white nice shirts with bow ties, dress coats, hunting boots, wine colored pants, the occasional top hat with voodoo pins sticking from the top.

Items: Hunting rifle given to him by his father, sharp knives, a staff with a microphone on it decorated with small golden antlers curved near the top. (The staff became a red vintage microphone with an eye and magic powers in Hell that became part of him as per the deal he took)

Date of death: 1933

 Cause of death: Bitten by dog with rabies, experienced hallucinations, inflamed brain, strange excitement and paranoia. When he sees water, it’s nothing but alligators, leeches and the darkness of an ocean. He ran from police and into the woods at night. The police sent several police dogs after him, appearing to Alastor as werewolves. He encounters Hustle, a deer hunter, yelling in agony, almost caught by police. Hustle alerts the police to his location, saying “Target criminal’s over here!” Alastor grabs the gun from the hunter and shoots himself between the eyes. His body is mauled by the police dogs and the hunter sinks down to his knees in shock and fear.

 Demonic life: deer demon, overlord, radio host. His deer-like shadow has a mind of its own and reveals his true feelings.

 Likes: cooking, singing, dancing, electro swing, Rosie, Mimzy, Charlie (as a friend), his mother, hunting and skinning deer, being out in nature, people failing, dark coffee, the Picture Show, the Stock Market Crash of 1929, theater, liquor, dad jokes, Jambalaya, epicurean food, making voodoo dolls of the Hazbin characters

 Dislikes: being touched, strawberries, post 30’s technology, dogs, anything sweet, frowning, Vox, his father, Angel’s sexual remarks, tea, spray can foods, ketchup

 Abilities: supernatural powers, voodoo, radio broadcasting, shadow manipulation, warping space, singing, charm

 Kalfu is Alastor’s main voodoo deity, as both are destroyers and dark sorcerers.

   Mother:

Loretta Marie Duvalier (last name became Cajun): (named after Loretta Petit, real life American radio personality born in New Orleans. Duvalier is last name of Voodoo genocidal dictator of Haiti.)  

Loretta has several siblings, Joseph, and a royal lady who is the mother of Dr. Facilier (he kept her shrunken head).

Speaks French. As a human, she had dark skin, thick black short hair and often wore bonnets, dresses, and on occasion, charms around her neck. She went to Heaven for her selfless actions in comforting Alastor when he was bullied and abused. She was the only source of light in his life before he snapped.

Her voodoo deity is Erzulie, the goddess of beauty, love, femininity and motherhood.

Alastor secretly cuddles with a voodoo doll of his mother every night.

 In the “regular” fanmade timeline, Loretta goes to Heaven, where Alastor meets her decades later after his redemption.

 In Hell, his mother becomes a powerful Voodoo priestess and she helps Alastor with his magic. She is an acquaintance to Rosie and Mimzy. She looks similar to Alastor: red eyes, darker gray face, red and black hair in a bun, sharp yellow teeth, deer tufts, and a long red and black dress with frilly sleeves. Her eyes most often appear like Alastor’s red eyes with circular lines in them…her eyes can also glow. She has a light red undershirt with a similar black upside down cross design. Etched onto her dress are voodoo symbols and flowers that appear faint to the eye but can glow in the dark. Sometimes, Loretta will wear a fancy round red ladies hat. Loretta keeps her hair in a bun. She keeps a pair of reading glasses and also has four claws. She has doe traits and a small fluffy tail. Loretta has similar powers as Alastor, though she cannot control radios to the same extent. She can make dolls and sew anything just by moving her fingers. Loretta can withstand Alastor’s deals and spells. In her full demon form, she can turn into a shadow version of herself and create portals and objects. In her demon form, her eyes turn black with red pupils shaped like skulls.

 In an AU of an AU when Alastor meets his parents at the Hazbin Hotel, Alastor and his mother share an embrace and sing together while making Jambalaya. Loretta doesn’t hesitate to share stories and a photo album of Alastor’s childhood to the others, much to his embarrassment. Loretta and Charlie hit it off right away, sharing their love of singing, dancing, and seeing good in people. Loretta mistakenly believes that her son and Charlie are dating but then remembers he is asexual and aromantic and apologizes with a blush. Charlie smiles and says that she is a hundred plus years older than him, to which Angel’s mouth drops. When Angel tries to flirt and touch Alastor, his mother tells him to stop. Alastor only accepts hugs, kisses, and touch from his mother.

 Father:

Louis Francois Cajun: White man and Christian French immigrant, descendant of two French Canadians. He fell in love with Loretta, but bi-racial marriage was frowned upon, so they held it in secret. He is a skilled hunter and taught Alastor to hunt deer and game at a young age. When Alastor was younger, he told him to “beware the gators” in the nearby swamp. As Alastor grew older, he became more abusive to him, even molested him after sleeping with another woman on a Friday the 13th. He died brutally by Alastor in the 1920s/30s.

Louis became an oppressive black deer overlord but was defeated by Alastor a second time.

In Alastor’s vision, Louis is represented by Ogun, god associated with dogs, warriors, hunters, conflict. He’s symbolized by an iron knife and has fondness for pretty women and rum.

 AU of an AU: In Hell, Louis becomes a powerful overlord called Seraph (one that Alastor defeats, but he still goes around.) He has large black antlers arching from his head, and often wears a top hat with a skull on it. He wears a similar suit to Alastor’s, along with a large bowtie and regular tie, though it’s darker in color. The undershirt is black with a red cross design on it. His teeth are sharp and yellow. He has deer ears and a tail, plus four claws on each hand. He has the same black mustache he had as a human, plus glowing red eyes. In demon form, his face turns into a skeletal male deer head (with black fur in some areas) and he grows larger. He controls a small cult of shadow spirits and demons that worship him as a god. He drinks, smokes, and hooks up with women demons, despite knowing he can’t reproduce. He hunts Hell’s creatures with a gun like he did as a human hunter. He carries a whip and a long black staff shaped like a Christian Cross with antlers branching out over the extended sides of the cross. In the center of it is a red gem shaped like a glowing red eye.

 Louis and Loretta agree to visit the Hazbin Hotel…only to meet Alastor in shock. Alastor briefly shrinks back when he sees him, remembering the times he was abused by him. His mother, more confident as a demon, makes sure her son goes through the day unharmed. His mother embraces her son and they make jambalaya while singing together. They sing “Jambalaya on the Bayou” and “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.”  Even Louis smiles and hums along. The three of them later dance to music on the radio as everyone watches in happiness (except Husk). The shadow spirits join in. Loretta tells Charlie and the others about Alastor’s life as a human, much to his embarrassment. Both Alastor’s parents became serial killers and cannibals themselves just like their son once they arrived in Hell. Like Charlie, Alastor’s mother believes that her son can be redeemed and hopes that someday the three of them can go to Heaven together. Alastor awkwardly shares a hug with his father, though he wasn’t very nice, Alastor still loved him.

 Louis/Seraph is critical of Charlie’s plan to rehabilitate demons, as he believes it is God’s will to keep sinners in eternal torment. He was the one who told Alastor as a human: “Inside of every sinner is a lost cause.” Alastor briefly goes demonic when he tries to touch Charlie inappropriately. Loretta says she wants a final divorce and helps Alastor kick him out of the hotel. But she also begs Alastor not to kill him and he reluctantly obeys.

Louis and Loretta soon go back to their ways of killing people and questioning their afterlives.

 Adelle Cajun – Alastor’s paternal aunt, sister of Louis. She is objective and doesn’t like getting into conflicts. She taught Alastor how to play the piano but Alastor hardly ever saw her much as she was busy being a French teacher.

 Joseph Duvalier – Alastor’s maternal uncle, brother of Alastor’s mother Loretta. Mean and cruel like Alastor’s father, likes rum, weapons, sacrifices and causing trouble. He eventually went to Hell after being run over with a deer in the headlights look…by none other than Alastor.

 Eddy Ory Duvalier – Alastor’s Creole/French cousin, son of Joseph, Alastor’s maternal uncle and a French working class white lady. Named after Edward Ory, a Creole jazz bandleader. Rebelled against his troublesome father and became a jazz band leader.

 Clementine Duvalier – Alastor’s cousin, relative of his mother. Daughter of Alastor’s uncle, Joseph. Named after Clementine Barnabet - real life Louisiana voodoo priestess and serial killer, killed families with an axe. She tried to be a better priestess than Loretta. At one point, she and Alastor killed people together in the woods. But Alastor ran off to save his own skin, leaving her to be caught and arrested by police.

  Alastor’s ancestor from his father’s side: Marie LaLaurie, (1787-1849) real life New Orleans serial killer, cruel to Creole slaves

 Dr. Facilier: Voodoo villain from Princess and the Frog. Became Alastor’s slave after he was pulled into the underworld. Alastor stole his powers and methods, leaving Facilier a shadow. He is Alastor’s cousin.

 Samuel Cajun – white paternal Grandfather. Lived an ordinary life as a car mechanic in Canada before going off to fight in the war. He was healed by a white woman nurse Abigail and the two fell in love.

 Abigail Cajun – Alastor’s paternal Grandmother

Roscoe Duvalier – Alastor’s maternal Grandfather, related to Dr. Facilier

 Antoinette Duvalier – dark skinned maternal Grandmother – Voodoo Priestess and Hoodoo oral practitioner.

                                                               Racheil: Alastor’s friend and love interest (though he doesn’t want sex or serious romance.) She has short blonde hair and looks similar to Charlie in dapper clothes. She, like Charlie, is nice to him and loves to dance and sing. She tries to help him become a better person but after he snapped, she broke up with him and left him to solve his own problems. She almost got stabbed b him but managed to escape with her wife Agatha (whom she had married in private).

In Alastor’s dream, she appears as Oshun, a goddess connected to beauty, sexuality, wealth, pleasure, and rivers.

Alastor later makes a voodoo doll of Racheil’s similar counterpart, Charlie along with dolls representing the other characters.

   Mimzy: Alastor’s friend and temporary love interest (Alastor liked to flirt with her but didn’t want to get intimate nor be tied down). Mimzy likes singing, jazz, desserts and doughnuts. She doesn’t like rock. Confident in her singing, she is the owner of a jazz club, both on Earth and in Hell. She is a short, chubby woman who wears pink/purple flapper dresses, a headband with pink feathers and short blonde hair. Her eyes were blue and her skin white as a human, in Hell her eyes were black with hot pink pupils.

Mimzy and Alastor sing several duets together on stage in both realms and even share a kiss much to the disgust of a jealous (human) Husk. As time went on however, Mimzy started falling head over heels for him, while Alastor wanted to stay friends. (She heard about his radio shows but didn’t suspect he was the killer until later). One night, a love crazed Mimzy (who had also had several drinks) tried to undress him and even reached for his private parts. He shoved her off and threatened to kill her if she assaulted him again. Then she realized in shock that he was the serial killer when he defended himself with a bloodstained knife. She tried to call for help, but he choked her with an insane look in his eyes.

Alastor keeps a voodoo doll of Mimzy in his lair with the straw arms missing.

 Rosie: Alastor’s friend, fellow overlord, and associate. Rosie wears dark pink dresses, and a large pink hat with skulls, pink feathers, and black flowers on it in Hell. She has black eyes and sharp teeth. She is the owner of her emporium, after Franklin got eaten by demons.

As a human, Rosie looked similar to Mary Poppins: black hair, white skin, elegant dresses and an umbrella in her hands. She owned an emporium on Earth. Alastor used to sing with her and help her out like a gentleman. However, this was before he became insane. Rosie went to Hell after forcing her employees to work long hours with hardly any breaks (It was during a time where people worked their lives away). Like in Hell, she was self-centered and didn’t hesitate to overpower others to fulfill her ends. Hence, she became an overlord due to the impact of her evil actions.

According to Vivziepop, their relationship is similar to Jack and Mary’s relationship from Mary Poppins: both Jack and Alastor help out their lady friends and are polite to them. Like Mary, Rosie is stern, sophisticated, elegant, and a perfectionist. She’s “practically perfect in every way” at least in her opinion. Both Rosie and Alastor love singing, dancing, performing, and killing people. The three of them met up with Mimzy and all sang together.

Alastor keeps a voodoo doll of Rosie in his lair.

However, Rosie, like nearly everyone in Hell, has an agenda of her own: using Alastor to further her status. In fact, she often views those around her as mere friends and servants who purpose is to make her life easy and orderly. She, along with Vox, Valentino, Katie, and Sir Pentious are listed as antagonists.

 Niffty: A small cyclops demon with a hot pink skirt and short pink hair with a yellow undertone. She is the maid for the Hazbin Hotel: she cleans the rooms, cooks meals and likes to sew, read and write. She is obsessed with men and was summoned by Alastor. She died in the 1950s as a Japanese-American woman at age 22. She is hyperactive and fast…and also a hopeless romantic who indulges in her own fantasies. Niffty isn’t afraid to use manipulation to get her way. Alastor summoned her from the fireplace but before that, he had charmed her into making a deal with him shortly after she arrived in Hell.

Alastor keeps a voodoo doll of Niffty in his lair.

 Husk: A black and white cat demon with red wings with card suits on them. He has long red eyebrows, wears a black hat and wears a large red bow tie. Husk loves drinking, gambling, cards and magic shows. As a human, Husk interacted with Alastor as a broad man with short black hair. He went off to serve in the Vietnam War, gambling and drinking his problems away. He died in the 1970s.

In Hell, Alastor summons the grumpy bad-mouthed Husk to help man the front desk of the hotel for “charity work” and transports him there. Alastor got Husk to make a deal with him by promising him booze, cigars, and drinks spiked with catnip. Husk can speak many languages and is good with children.

Alastor keeps a voodoo doll of Husk in his lair.

 Other people:

Real life Axeman of New Orleans serial killer 1918-1919

Killed women and primarily used an axe. Spared those who played jazz in their homes

 Albert Fish: serial killer, child rapist and cannibal 1924-1932 crimes, died in 1936

  Mary LaLaurie (ancestor)

Samuel Cajun = Abigail Cajun                    Roscoe Duvalier =Antoinette Duvalier

                    |                                                           |    

Adelle |   Louis =   Loretta     |         Queen          |     Joseph = Jane

                         |                            |                 |

                    Alastor                       Dr. Facilier          Eddy Ory  | Clementine

  Alastor "Hazbin" Roscoe Cajun/Duvalier born January 24th, 1896 (Edward Bosco's b day Jan 24th 1986) to Francois and Loretta Cajun, born at 3:00AM; Loretta gave birth in the woods on the way to the hospital (born 3 weeks early). Light brown skin, brown eyes, round glasses, short brown hair with reddish tint, pointed chin, thin agile body

1897: Age 1 Things start off normal in New Orleans, infant Alastor plays in his crib and loves the music on the radio.

1898: Age 2 Alastor meets his uncle and aunt and discovers the marvelous outside world

1899: Age 3 Alastor watches musicals on the picture show and falls in love with them. His mother makes him Jambalaya, his favorite food of comfort

1900: Age 4 Reading and preschool, Sunday church goings which Alastor finds boring

1901: Age 5 Kindergarten: Alastor is teased for his freckles and whenever his hair glows a reddish tint in the sunlight

1902: Age 6 First grade: Alastor learns reading, writing, math, and art. He hates gym and loves music and art.

1903: Age 7 Second grade: Alastor's parents get into a fight for the first time in a while; Alastor is sent to his room whenever it happens. After he comes back upset, both his parents say that frowning is weakness. Loretta says "Remember to smile, Alastor, it shows dominance and confidence. You're never fully dressed without one." He takes that lesson to heart for the rest of his life.

Vision 1: Alastor dreams he is a young red deer who performs onstage and receives a standing ovation, representing childhood innocence.

1904: Age 8 Third grade: Alastor discovers his love of theater. He finds joy in attending and watching Mardi Gras parades and the costumes. He says 'Throw me something, mista!" during the parade but the other kids got to get the prizes thrown from the parade instead.

1905: Age 9 Fourth grade: A group of boys start to bully him and even punch him badly. Alastor smiles through it all. He tells his father and mother. While his mother comforts him, his father scolds him for not fighting back.

1906: Age 10 Fifth grade: Alastor gets his brutal revenge by daring the boys to enter into a nearby swamp. One of the bullies gets eaten by a crocodile while Alastor just watches. Alastor gets nicknamed by his father and bullies as "Alastor Hazbin."

1907: Age 11 Sixth grade: Alastor goes hunting with his father and his father shows him how to hunt and skin deer and other game. He becomes skilled over time and loves the meat. He also learns how to cook from his mother...Jambalaya being his favorite to make.

1908: Age 12 Seventh grade: Alastor gets slapped by his father for not participating in sports. Other kids make fun of him for being of mixed race. Loretta begins teaching him about Voodoo and Hoodoo. Alastor connects with Kalfu the deity and learns of his heritage as part French and part Creole. His grandmother was a powerful priestess and was believed to orally pass on stories and display feats of magic. His Grandmother was born in Haiti, moved to France and then to the U.S. His Uncle, Father, and Grandfather were Canadian/French Christians. His aunt was conflict avoidant, unlike his uncle and father. Loretta tells him (though he soon doesn't listen) that Voodoo is not to be used for evil, sacrifices, nor cannibalism and to only resort to cannibalism for survival.

1909: Age 13 Eighth grade: Alastor's father yells at him for not showing interest in girls. One fateful night, his father sleeps with another woman and Alastor notices. A helpless Loretta watches as Francois whips, humiliates and molests him in his room, warning him not to tell or "he'd kill (them) both." Loretta comforts him with hugs and Jambalaya. As he eats, Alastor imagines eating off his father's fingers.

Alastor is diagnosed with anxiety, narcissism and psychopathic tendencies. He is bullied in middle school and is not interested in sex and girls like the other boys. He finds it gross and pointless.

Loretta's Jambalaya nearly kills her when a drunk Loretta (too much Scottish Comfort) puts gunpowder and wasabi into it. Alastor's father makes him memorize Bible passages.

1910: Age 14 Ninth grade: Many girls both in school and outside fall in love, but Alastor isn't interested. A Satanic Ritual book appears after it was dropped by accident by imps. He looks through it with great interest and makes a deal with dark Loas: gain near unlimited power in the afterlife in exchange for his soul and the soul of a loved one.

1911: Age 15 Tenth grade: High school was a nightmare. The bullying was worse and Alastor became more and more withdrawn. During this time, Alastor becomes interested in being a radio host and also reads books on weapons and cannibalism.

Vision 2: Alastor dreams he is a red buck, who runs from hunters representing the elite white people. He evades a crocodile, resembling his father and his mother appears as the Voodoo goddess of beauty and motherhood.

1912: Age 16 Eleventh grade: Alastor applies to be an apprentice for a local radio station several times, but doesn't get in. His father and uncle berate him everyday and his mother is busy at secretary work, and Voodoo rituals every month.

1913: Age 17 Grade 12 Alastor graduates and applies again. He starts at the bottom, but rapidly moves his way up. He starts by telling dad jokes, then wants to talk about murder and crimes "far more interesting than the weather and social events."

1914: Age 18 After experiencing harsh critiques from mainstream stations, Alastor is fired. However, he soon decides to pursue his goals on his own. His makes radios from scratch and starts his own shows, with a few private listeners at first.

World War One begins! Alastor uses this opportunity to broadcast on a private station news of deaths in the war in graphic detail. More people start listening and his soon starts making money. Alastor makes his first kill when a man assaulted him and beat him up for him being "Black and outspoken." He was able to get away and he wondered what it'd be like to do it again on the ignorant folks.

1915: Age 19 Alastor promotes war efforts through announcements and songs, including his ending song "You're Never Fully Dressed." However, he still describes brutal murders for the sinister folks.

1916: Age 20 Alastor meets Husk and Mimzy at a jazz bar and club for the first time. He dances and sings with Mimzy, loving her confidence and sexy looks. (Though he doesn't like to be touched by anyone other than his mother, due to fatherly past trauma).

1917: Age 21 Alastor meets Racheil (alternate form of Charlie) and they become fast friends. He learns of the Axeman, a fellow serial killer and learns to be careful.

1918: Age 22 Spanish Flu Pandemic occurs! Sadly, Alastor's mother becomes gravely ill and passes away. Alastor smiles even as he cries. Alastor's father doesn't seem to care. Alastor gets raped again and his father abandons him. Alastor's mother goes to Heaven and Alastor, not knowing what else to do, eats her remains.

1919: Age 23 Alastor becomes depressed (and even suicidal for a while). He doesn't eat much. Alastor eventually snaps and begins his life as a serial killer. After his mother’s death, Alastor lost his remaining traits of humanity…succumbing to his demonic nature. At that point, he didn’t care who he ate and/or killed…it was the last think he could do to keep himself sane along with drinking liquor, coffee, sewing voodoo dolls, and broadcasting the murders by himself.

1920: Age 24 Roaring Twenties and Jazz Age. Alastor becomes known (though no one suspected it was him) by several names "Bayou Butcher," "Deer Devil" "Louisiana Lunatic" among others. Alastor revels in his fame and becomes richer and more materialistic. He buys himself suits, and a cane with deer antlers on it. One of his disturbing hobbies was using his gentleman charm to lure women into his home where he would lie them in the basement and kill them while broadcasting their screams.

Alastor plays in a jazz band and enjoys watching musicians play while smoking and drinking liquor. He often cries in private and makes straw dolls. He drinks dark coffee every morning.

1921: Age 25 Mimzy falls in love with Alastor and touches him inappropriately. He threatens her with a knife and she discovers he's the serial killer. She rushes to call for help but Alastor takes her into an alleyway and stabs and chokes her to death. Feeling slight remorse, he takes her home for his meal.

1922: Age 26 Racheil breaks up with him after being concerned about his sanity. Worried he might be caught, Alastor lays low for a while before starting up again. After Alastor's father comes back, he decides to get his revenge. He ties him to a tree and tortures him during the night. The predator becomes the prey. Alastor tracks him down to a local bar. (Although he usually doesn’t stalk or chase his victims as it breaks his moral code, but his dad is an exception. Also following others/sneaking toward them are often required to kill others.) His father had been secretly afraid that Alastor would be stronger and would want to kill him, thus proving his son more dominant than himself. He had weapons ready, but Alastor had set up several traps in advance. Though Alastor was physically weaker than his father, he was very clever. He had packed a backpack of all his weapons, rope and essential tools. His father says “You and your heathen mother deserve to die” only for Alastor to respond, “Nobody talks about my mama that way.” Seeing his father knocked out, Alastor raises his knife to kill him but stops. That would merely be too easy. He supports him by the shoulders, pretending to be concerned for him as onlookers watched in shock, “It’s okay sir, you just fainted from the heat. Let’s go for a walk in the woods.” He takes him deep in the forest and chuckles darkly.

Alastor knocks him out and ties him to a tree in a forest, waiting until he wakes up. He starts (smiling the whole time) by slicing off his father’s dick among his father’s cussing (“when you screwed me once”), inserting a hot knife inside his father’s privates (“when you screwed me again”) then slicing off his ears (“this is for all the times when you wouldn’t listen to me”), shoving his own severed penis down his throat (“When you shoved your macho beliefs down my throat”) he whips him, then slowly cuts deep down his chest with a chainsaw, organs revealed (“this is for mama”) and finally shots him in the heart (“and this is for me, you heartless bastard.”) He eats his father’s flesh over jambalaya and it’s the best meal he’s ever had.

 1923: Age 27 He kills his victims in various ways: some hanging from trees with their organs spilled out, some buttered and eaten, others buried alive, some people shot and stabbed when he doesn’t feel like dragging it out. He’ll often poison other’s food/drinks and watch their reactions with a grin on his face. He enjoys tricking others into corners/tight spots so he doesn’t have to run after them. He’s found of pranks, especially deadly ones done on others. He saves brutal killings for racist men and women and those who think ill of him and his show. He becomes known as the “Deer Devil Dealer of New Orleans.” He only started killing people and animals at random after his mother died and he lost his mind.

1924: Age 28 Vision 3: : He has nightmares about a demonic skeletal deer covered with maggots and sores with chunks of meat over bone and one eye hanging loose running after him. He finds himself in a dark snowy forest, a fierce biting wind. After it seemed like he had been defeated by the monster, Alastor looks into a puddle and sees another, far worse monster, a demonic wendigo reflection staring back at him…Alastor sees a horned face and malnourished skeletal body, ripped red pinstriped dress coat, four clawed hands, red and black hair and red eyes, sharp teeth, large black antlers…the wendigo form resembling his current demonic form in Hell. After killing the alligator representing his father, the wendigo Alastor look-alike shadow appears and says “This is who you really are,” before Alastor wakes up.

1925: Age 29

1926: Age 30

1927: Age 31

1928: Age 32

1929: Age 33 Alastor enjoys the Stock Market Crash and uses the opportunity to enjoy watching orphans suffer. It helps remind him that he's far better off than many, besides the fact that kids were annoying to him. Alastor makes an "Axeman letter:"

 "Hell, 1929 Stock Market Crash Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Deer Devil/Bayous Butcher/Louisiana Lunatic/Hazbin of Hell

They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the sound waves that surround your earth. I am not a human being, but a demon and overlord from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians call the Deer Devil. Down here, I’m the inevitable Radio Demon.

When I see fit, I shall appear and claim other victims as I see fit. I alone know whom they shall be. No clues will be left behind, save for what you might hear on the next broadcast. Tell the police and the racist, elite scum of the world to beware. Let them try not to discover who I am, for it’d be better for them not to have been born than to incur the wrath of the Deer Devil. You’ll have a deer in the headlights look and won’t have any idea what hit you until after it’s too late. Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a monster and murderer. But if I wanted to hurt anyone else here, I would have done so already. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. I could kill every one of your best and worst citizens, for I am in a close relationship with the Shadows of the Other Side. At 6:06 pm next Friday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans and then visit those in Hell. I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is: I am very fond of jazz music, electro swing, and jambalaya. I swear by all the Loas and deities that I will spare those who can provide me with some great entertainment when I visit. Word of warning, I can read you people like a book, and see into your very souls. Anyone foolish enough to challenge me will have their corpses consumed and their screams muffled by the lovely sound of jazz bands jamming the night away. I have been, am, and will be, the worst spirit that ever existed in fact, fantasy, or realm of Hazbins. Smile and stay tuned! ~Deer Devil (Alastor)"

 1930: Age 34 Great Depression occurs!

The event hits Alastor and many others hard...he runs low on food so he eats others and hunts more and more to survive. Now Alastor kills at random instead of focusing on the racist mean people.

1931: Age 35

1932: Age 36

1933: Age 37 Alastor's Death

The police eventually track Alastor down with the help of Racheil and Chasseur, a fellow deer hunter whose daughter had been killed by Alastor. Not too long before the police discover where he is, Alastor gets bitten by a rabies infested dog. For the next several hours, Alastor experiences hallucinations, paranoia, brain inflammation and a fear of water. In water, all he sees is leeches and alligators. In his hallucinations, he is being watched by a wendigo. The police chase Alastor though the dark woods, police dogs hot on the trail. A local deer hunter, Hustle, joins in on the chase. Alastor navigates the woods, trying to find a place to hide. The hunter accidentally shoots him in the back as he ran, thinking Alastor was a deer.

Alastor experiences extreme agony when the deer hunter spots him, pointing a rifle at him. The hunter announces his location to the police. Seeing no other way out other than pain and imprisonment, Alastor takes the gun from the hunter and shoots himself between his eyes. The police dogs maul his dead body and the hunter sinks to his knees in shock and terror. Strangely enough, Alastor dies with a creepy smile on his face, the mark of Kalfu appearing behind his cold neck, unnoticed by anyone.

1933: After death: Alastor's old body falls away as the deal with the Loas takes fruit. The shadows give him his immense powers in the shadow world and he transforms into his demon form in Hell. He gets his microphone staff, which enables him to broadcast his murders and victories. He is known as the Radio Demon. He conquers several areas of Hell, eventually getting the attention of the overlords who know to stay wary of him.

Alastor befriends Mimzy and overlord Rosie and they sing, dance, talk and murder other demons for fun. Alastor treats them both with respect and knows not to piss off Rosie as she's stern, violent, and "practically perfect in every way."

Every year when the Exterminators appear, Alastor broadcasts the chaos during the 24 hour period, and will go out and kill the angels too.

1950s: Alastor makes a deal with Niffty who becomes obsessed with him and men. She becomes his servant/slave/associate and cooks and cleans for him.

1970s: Alastor makes a deal with Husk and Husk becomes his servant/slave/associate after Alastor promised him a better life with money and booze and the promise of " finding love."

2019: Alastor sees Charlie on TV and decides to help her with the hotel (for his own enjoyment, of course.) He dances and befriends Charlie, forming plans to use her to dig deeper into the royal family and eventually take the throne and rule Hell. He hopes that with a shadow army and more possessed members, he can invade Hell, Heaven and even Earth to spread his chaos. He defeats Sir Pentious and changes the name to Hazbin Hotel, his formerly mocking nickname he embraced.

Future: Alastor helps Charlie and the others protect the hotel from Sir Pentious, Vox, Valentino, Velvet and other villains.

  Other non canon versions of Alastor:

Stalaros (commonly known as 2p Alastor). Alastor with opposite colors and personality: he wears white and blue and cries a lot. He is one of the clients at the Haven Hotel run by Caoline Egnam, Heaven's princess. Stalaros is gay and horny like Angel Dust.

Lavender/Purple Alastor: Peaceful and confident, an OC made by fans.

 Radiodust Alastor: An Alastor that loves Angel Dust. Popular with fans.

Charlastor Alastor: An Alastor that loves Charlie romantically. Popular with fans.

Redeemed Alastor: Appears as a man with a deer head and human-like traits in Heaven. In this universe, he reunites with his mother.

FHE Alastor: Alastor in his truly evil form: he takes over all of Hell and possesses the demons. His shadow can turn into a monster wendigo. This Alastor has a hole between his eyes from a bullet wound, and antlers stained with blood.

    Chapter 1: “Down in New Orleans”

 Alastor’s mother gives birth to him at 3:00am. It was an early birth and she almost died in the process. He was also born premature (3 weeks early) via C-section. Everything else starts off perfectly normal, with baby and kid Alastor loving his parents and enjoying music at every turn. During this time, Alastor is oblivious to discrimination.

 Both his father and mother tell him “you’re never fully dressed without a smile,” a message that would impact him for the rest of his life. “Frowning shows weakness,” according to his father and his mother says that “be happy and people will like you more.”

One of his favorite memories was listening to music on the radio in the car with his parents.

Family members and friends say “Mais cher!” (Glad to see you).

Alastor and his mother carry gris-gris amulets for good luck.

  Chapter 2: “Theatrical Geek”

1900: age 5

Alastor discovers his love of theater at school and his mother’s jambalaya.  He discovers his intense love of cooking and learns how to make jambalaya and other Creole foods. He brags that his mother’s cooking is the best and hopes that he can do an even better job. The elementary school kids pick on him for being awkward, bi racial, thin looking and a nerd. (The bullying gets worse when he goes into middle and high school, when he doesn’t display an interest in girls.) His dad slaps him for the first time for not getting into sports and bringing mud from his shoes into the house.

 Francois: “You can’t kick a ball, you do bad at school, I bet you couldn’t even lift up an axe with those puny muscles.”

 When Alastor’s father watches football in person, he yells “Who tat!” after the team scores, while a young Alastor is bored.

Alastor says “I hate noodle juice!” after trying tea.

 Alastor is considered black based on the one drop rule. Alastor has light brown skin but not as dark as his mother’s nor pale white like his father’s.

Alastor’s favorite classes are music, theater, and French. (he never was much of a math person).

Alastor and several kids go into a swamp on a dare. Alastor’s dad told him to “beware the gators.” They got separated and one of the kids got eaten by one. The other kid screamed but Alastor, though shocked at first, just watched in fascination. “So that’s what happens when people are eaten, they scream and flail, and a whole bunch of blood squirts everywhere. How painful would it be to have those teeth tear through your flesh and fell yourself getting swallowed…glad that’s not me.” It was akin to him watching an animal documentary on an old TV.

Dream 1: Alastor frequently dreams he is an innocent carefree light red young deer who dresses in extravagant costumes and sings while everyone cheers him on. They call him “The Radio Deerman.”

Dream 2: Alastor evades an alligator who represents his dad, but soon gets eaten and wakes up.

  Chapter 3: “Deer Hunting and Mardi Gras”

1903: age 8

Alastor’s father takes him deer hunting and teaches him how to skin a deer for venison and fur. The young boy is sacred at first, but soon finds the process fascinating.

Alastor gets beaten up by his drunken father, while his mother is too sacred to do anything.

Alastor is also introduced to Voodoo via his mother, and he finds the concept of animal sacrifices both horrifying and interesting. But his mother also tells him to not listen to the negative stereotypes placed on the Creole and to decide for himself what’s good or bad. His Christian father brushes it off as nonsense.

The family also celebrates Mardi Gras and goes to Antonnie’s Restaurant. At Mardi Gras, Alastor finds joy in singing, dancing, and the elaborate costumes and music…letting out his theatrical side. However, the other kids from school are mean to Alastor, not even letting him near the front of the Mardi Gras float. They yell “Throw me something, Mista!” and manage to catch beads, cups and fake gems, leaving Alastor catching nothing.

 Alastor and his family frequently chant “laissez les bon temps rouler” (let the good times roll”

 After being bullied and beaten by two mean brothers, Alastor sneaks into their yard and kills their dog using his gun. He is grounded for several weeks by his mother and made to read/memorize Bible passages by his father.

  Chapter 4: “Freak Show”

1907: age 12

Alastor is diagnosed with anxiety, narcissism and psychopathic tendencies. He is bullied in middle school and is not interested in sex and girls like the other boys. He finds it gross and pointless.

 Francois: “Why did I ever agree to raise such a sissy? That boy’s probably running off with other boys like a deranged faggot! I’ve told you before, Loretta, that he’s been influenced by the Devil from the start…”

Loretta: “Tell it to Sweeney! Bushwa! That be foolish nonsense! He’s our son, let ‘im live his life! You call ‘im a “pussy” but I bet he’d be more of a man than you, sometimes!”

 Francois: (lands a bruise on her shoulder) “Don’t you forget who the head of this house is. My house, my rules to follow.”

Loretta: “You be drinkin’ too much again. I’m not gonna make life easy for you if you keep badmouthing about Alastor!”

Francois: “He’s not normal. He’s weak, antisocial, and a mixed creep. I don’t know how you put up with him.”

Loretta: “Despite his…quirks, I know he’s an independent, and amazing young man. Despite being busy, I’ve been blessed to watch Alastor grow up. Heh, he’s an even better cook than I am now.”

Francois: “No. There’s something wrong with him. You’ve been lecturing him about hoodoo and voodoo too much. He’s obsessed with the supernatural and Satanism. I don’t know why I was briefly curious about voodoo when I was a young adult.”

Loretta: “You wouldn’t have met me, otherwise. You say somethin’ wrong with ‘im?  (points at his chest) Who might be da influence of that?”

 Francois: “Lo, we have to put a stop to his erratic behavior. If religious training won’t work…”

Loretta: “…then just waitin’ and letting life take its course, will.”

 Alastor has fun with his parents at a circus. A fortune teller reveals his Tarot cards to him: the Fool for his childhood (innocence and exploration) Hermit for his teenage years (isolation) Justice for his adulthood (adding to karma) and the Devil for his years past 30.

 One traumatic day, Alastor’s father sleeps with other women behind his wife’s back, and Alastor witnesses the act, terrified. His father finds out and proceeds to kick him, to molest him and rape him from behind, penis shoved in and out of him, Alastor feeling helpless. The father even calls him a homosexual bitch and to “teach him a lesson.” After it’s too late, his mother runs in to comfort him after his father leaves.

It is at this point that Alastor wonders what it’d feel like to kill/eat a human being. Because of his father, he hates sex and being touched.

      Chapter 5: “Deal with the Other Side”

1910: age 15

Alastor finds a Satanic ritual book that a group of imps called K.I.L.L. accidentally left behind. He makes a deal with some evil Loas: gain unlimited power in the afterlife at the cost of a loved one’s life and his own.

Unbeknownst to him, a wendigo shadow version of himself is conceived inside his head after he reads a spell, later manifesting itself as his darkest thoughts and primitive urges…furthering his decent into madness.

He practices using a gun, ax, and knife, quickly mastering them. He also creates voodoo dolls in secret.

Alastor kills his first human with a knife after a white man insults him for being Creole and of mixed race (part white from his European father, part Creole/African/Native American from his brown-skinned mother).

For the first time, Alastor feels powerful as well as shocked. He was worried that he would get caught. When he didn’t…he wondered what it’d be like to do it again.

Though Alastor’s mother let’s Alastor do what he wants, she also warns him to be careful with the dark Loas. Both his parents encourage Alastor to continue hunting and defending himself. (Though both aren’t aware of the murder).

  Chapter 6: “Radio Host”

1911: age 16

Alastor starts his job as a radio host and DJ, earning more money to support his family. (Though his father still verbally insults him every day and his mother is often working.) He discovers dad jokes and electro swing, getting back into his love of theater and dance. He loved dark coffee and drank liquor at Mardi Gras, where he danced with Mimzy at a jazz club and met Racheil.

 “Hello sheba!” Alastor and Husk think when they see Mimzy, a sexually desirable woman.

 Mimzy is short and plump, with a feathered hat, large thighs, white skin and short white hair. Her dress is magenta and she wears a headband with a large magenta feather. She also wears a necklace with a round pink gem. She and Alastor share several kisses. Husk gets jealous and tries to flirt with Mimzy, to no avail.

 Mimzy orders sinkers (doughnuts) every day “I’d like three sinkers, por favor!” she says.

 Racheil, Husk, Mimzy and Alastor greet each other with “Mais cher!”

 Husk drinks “giggle water” (liquor) and is “dissafied” (drunk)

 Alastor calls Mimzy a “doll” and “dame” (both mean beautiful women

   Chapter 7: “Radio Career”

1920: age 25

Alastor now has his own radio show and studio. Alastor meets Mimzy (owner of a jazz club) and they sing several duets at a jazz concert. Both his parents slightly suspect that he’s the Deer Devil serial killer but, of course, don’t say anything. He meets Husk as well (and later makes a deal with him in Hell). He also does dad jokes and sometimes performs in a band, much to the delight of Mimzy and Rachiel. Mimzy, Husk, and Racheil become his only three friends.

Dream 2: Alastor dreams he is a grown red buck, enjoying life but running from hunters, who represent the elite, and a demonic alligator, representing his father. His mother appears as an angelic Voodoo priestess with eagle wings creating Thunder.

Racheil asks Alastor to marry her, while Mimzy falls deeper in love with him. Alastor is affectionate with them, but doesn’t want to be tied down in marriage. Racheil orders a snowball (snowcone) and becomes suspicious of her lover/best friend.

Alastor refers to Mimzy (and sometimes Racheil) as “bearcats”: women with fiery streaks. Both Mimzy and Alastor are swanky (use their wealth/knowledge/skill to impress others) while performing.

   Chapter 8: “Stock Market Crash”

1929: age 34

 Hell, March 13, 1919 1929 Stock Market Crash

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Axeman The Deer Devil

 They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the sound waves that surround your earth. I am not a human being, but a demon and overlord from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians call the Deer Devil. Down here, I’m the inevitable Radio Demon.

 When I see fit, I shall appear and claim other victims as I see fit. I alone know whom they shall be. No clues will be left behind, save for what you might hear on the next broadcast.

Tell the police and the racist, elite scum of the world to beware. Let them try not to discover who I am, for it’d be better for them not to have been born than to incur the wrath of the Deer Devil. You’ll have a deer in the headlights look and won’t have any idea what hit you until after it’s too late.

Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a monster and murderer. But if I wanted to hurt anyone else here, I would have done so already. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. I could kill every one of your best and worst citizens, for I am in a close relationship with the Shadows of the Other Side.

At 6:06 pm next Friday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans and then visit those in Hell. I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, electro swing, and jambalaya. I swear by all the Loas and deities that I will spare those who can provide me with some great entertainment when I visit. Word of warning, I can read you people like a book, and see into your very souls. Anyone foolish enough to challenge me will have their corpses consumed and their screams muffled by the lovely sound of jazz bands jamming the night away.

I have been, am, and will be, the worst spirit that ever existed in fact, fantasy, or realm of Hazbins.

Smile and stay tuned!

~Deer Devil (Alastor)

 Racheil breaks up with him after growing tired of Alastor being self-centered and hungry for money, and his indifference to the murders. She thought he could be a good person, but left and told him he had to redeem himself on his own. She calls him a “grifter” (con man) after discovering he sometimes made deals.

Husk remarks to others that Alastor got the “icy mitt” (meaning he got rejected.) He tries to flirt with Racheil but she claims she has to go. Fortunately, Alastor doesn’t hear him or pay attention.

 At this point, Mimzy grows suspicious of Alastor and soon finds out that he’s the serial killer. He sees her and dances with her one last time. He describes how joyful it is to kill cruel racist people. Mimzy says she’s worried about him and reaches toward the old rotary phone on a counter. Thinking that she’d call the police, Alastor chokes and kills her in a frenzy before sadly holding her dead body.

Alastor was sad after her death but once in Hell (1933), he met up with her again at her jazz club, singing and dancing with her, even giving her a hug during the time of his conquests. He made deals with Niffty, Husk, Mimzy, and Rosie, with only Husk and Niffty being under his control to an extent.

 Alastor becomes the most well-known radio show-host in New Orleans. He thrives in money and material things (good food, wine, radios, cigarettes, a new staff with a circular microphone and miniature antlers made from gold around it. and outfits) But no one else except his parents knows that he is the infamous “Deer Devil” serial killer. Now he enjoys seeing orphans and children in misery, reminding him that he was better off than many. He makes shady deals, announcements on various murders and tells dad jokes as electro swing music plays.

Alastor also eats pig meat, deer meat and human meat, along with jambalaya and a jorum of skee (hard liquor) that he stole from Husk. He announces the murders on the air in detail, all with a cheerful tone.

He kills his victims in various ways: some hanging from trees with their organs spilled out, some buttered and eaten, others buried alive, some people shot and stabbed when he doesn’t feel like dragging it out. He’ll often poison other’s food/drinks and watch their reactions with a grin on his face. He enjoys tricking others into corners/tight spots so he doesn’t have to run after them. He’s found of pranks, especially deadly ones done on others. He saves brutal killings for racist men and women and those who think ill of him and his show. He becomes known as the “Deer Devil Dealer of New Orleans.” He only started killing people and animals at random after his mother died and he lost his mind.

 Both his parents eventually figure out that Alastor is a serial killer and practices Voodoo (though his mother knew about him doing Voodoo all along but was upset that he turned to the dark side). His father threatens to kill him or send him away to jail but his mother looks at him sadly, still loving him. “Go to Hell!” his father says, “…and may the Devil have no mercy on your already tainted soul.” Alastor is kicked out of the house by his father, but Alastor promises to visit his mother in secret.

      Chapter 9: “A Great Depression”

1930: age 35

The event hits the family hard, and Alastor’s mother is out of a job. Only cans of food and the occasional game are enough to sustain them. Alastor kills and eats people, those who were racist, rich, or looked upon him in disgust. He then saw others as nothing more than prey to be played with.

His family is mocked by others as dewdroppers (lazy and unemployed)

Husk and Alastor part ways, both sharing their troubles (Husk going to the Vietnam War in the future, gambling and drinking his life away.)

 Alastor’s father drinks alcohol, does drugs and sleeps with other women. When Alastor visits again, he gets whipped by his father and raped yet again for “being a pussy and not being a proper man.” Again, Alastor’s mother doesn’t do anything to stop him because she’s too scared.

Worse, yet, Alastor’s mother falls gravely ill due to the flu and stress and the family can’t afford medication to help her. (or more accurately, medications aren’t being offered to families of color/mixed race. Francois considers this God’s punishment on Loretta and Alastor for their occupations (ignoring his own sins).

Alastor’s mother gets badly beaten and shot in the stomach by her husband. The father is later arrested outside (due to a neighbor calling the police). Alastor cries in agony as his mother dies in front of him. He later says grace over dinner and eats her remains on top of jambalaya. He cries hard for the rest of the day, cuts himself, and doesn’t eat anything for days…spiraling into a great depression.

 After his mother’s death, Alastor lost his remaining traits of humanity…succumbing to his demonic nature. At that point, he didn’t care who he ate and/or killed…it was the last think he could do to keep himself sane along with drinking liquor, coffee, sewing voodoo dolls, and broadcasting the murders by himself.

 Dream 3: He has nightmares about a demonic skeletal deer covered with maggots and sores with chunks of meat over bone and one eye hanging loose running after him. He finds himself in a dark snowy forest, a fierce biting wind. After it seemed like he had been defeated by the monster, Alastor looks into a puddle and sees another, far worse monster, a demonic wendigo reflection staring back at him…Alastor sees a horned face and malnourished skeletal body, ripped red pinstriped dress coat, four clawed hands, red and black hair and red eyes, sharp teeth, large black antlers…the wendigo form resembling his current demonic form in Hell. After killing the alligator representing his father, the wendigo Alastor look-alike shadow appears and says “This is who you really are,” before Alastor wakes up.  

 Two days later, his father is set free with only a slap on the wrist. Alastor tracks him down to a local bar. (Although he usually doesn’t stalk or chase his victims as it breaks his moral code, but his dad is an exception. Also following others/sneaking toward them are often required to kill others.) His father had been secretly afraid that Alastor would be stronger and would want to kill him, thus proving his son more dominant than himself. He had weapons ready, but Alastor had set up several traps in advance. Though Alastor was physically weaker than his father, he was very clever. He had packed a backpack of all his weapons, rope and essential tools. His father says “You and your heathen mother deserve to die” only for Alastor to respond, “Nobody talks about my mama that way.” Seeing his father knocked out, Alastor raises his knife to kill him but stops. That would merely be too easy. He supports him by the shoulders, pretending to be concerned for him as onlookers watched in shock, “It’s okay sir, you just fainted from the heat. Let’s go for a walk in the woods.” He takes him deep in the forest and chuckles darkly.

Alastor knocks him out and ties him to a tree in a forest, waiting until he wakes up.  He starts (smiling the whole time) by slicing off his father’s dick among his father’s cussing (“when you screwed me once”), inserting a hot knife inside his father’s privates (“when you screwed me again”) then slicing off his ears (“this is for all the times when you wouldn’t listen to me”), shoving his own severed penis down his throat (“When you shoved your macho beliefs down my throat”) he whips him, then slowly cuts deep down his chest with a chainsaw, organs revealed (“this is for mama”) and finally shots him in the heart (“and this is for me, you heartless bastard.”) He eats his father’s flesh over jambalaya and it’s the best meal he’s ever had.

   Chapter 10: “Death by Dogs”

1933 age 38.

Alastor is eventually tracked down when he accidentally laughs too much when describing his father’s death on the radio.

Additionally, Racheil finds out about Alastor’s killings back at his house, as she walked with her new wife Agatha. Seeing stuffed deer around the house and Alastor holding a bloody knife, she knew at that moment he was the Deer Devil. She screams for help, alerting the neighbors who call the police. Agatha kicks Alastor in the groin, allowing her and Racheil to escape. Knowing that he had finally been discovered, Alastor fled.

 Death:

 Not too long before the police discover where he is, Alastor gets bitten by a rabies infested dog. For the next several hours, Alastor experiences hallucinations, paranoia, brain inflammation and a fear of water. In water, all he sees is leeches and alligators. In his hallucinations, he is being watched by a wendigo. The police chase Alastor though the dark woods, police dogs hot on the trail. A local deer hunter, Hustle, joins in on the chase. Alastor navigates the woods, trying to find a place to hide. The hunter accidently shoots him in the back as he ran, thinking Alastor was a deer.

 Alastor experiences extreme agony when the deer hunter spots him, pointing a rifle at him. The hunter announces his location to the police. Seeing no other way out other than pain and imprisonment, Alastor takes the gun from the hunter and shoots himself between his eyes. The police dogs maul his dead body and the hunter sinks to his knees in shock and terror. Strangely enough, Alastor dies with a creepy smile on his face, the mark of Kalfu appearing behind his cold neck, unnoticed by anyone.

 Alastor "Hazbin" Roscoe Cajun born January 24th, 1896 (Edward Bosco's b day Jan 24th 1986) to Francois and Loretta Cajun, born at 3:00AM; Loretta gave birth in the woods on the way to the hospital (born 3 weeks early). Light brown skin, brown eyes, round glasses, short brown hair with reddish tint, pointed chin, thin agile body

 1897: Age 1 Things start off normal in New Orleans, infant Alastor plays in his crib and loves the music on the radio.

 1898: Age 2 Alastor meets his uncle and aunt and discovers the marvelous outside world

 1899: Age 3 Alastor watches musicals on the picture show and falls in love with them. His mother makes him Jambalaya, his favorite food of comfort

 1900: Age 4 Reading and preschool, Sunday church goings which Alastor finds boring

 1901: Age 5 Kindergarten: Alastor is teased for his freckles and whenever his hair glows a reddish tint in the sunlight

 1902: Age 6 First grade: Alastor learns reading, writing, math, and art. He hates gym and loves music and art.

 1903: Age 7 Second grade: Alastor's parents get into a fight for the first time in a while; Alastor is sent to his room whenever it happens. After he comes back upset, both his parents say that frowning is weakness. Loretta says "Remember to smile, Alastor, it shows dominance and confidence. You're never fully dressed without one." He takes that lesson to heart for the rest of his life.

 Vision 1: Alastor dreams he is a young red deer who performs onstage and receives a standing ovation, representing childhood innocence.

 1904: Age 8 Third grade: Alastor discovers his love of theater. He finds joy in attending and watching Mardi Gras parades and the costumes. He says 'Throw me something, mista!" during the parade but the other kids got to get the prizes thrown from the parade instead.

 1905: Age 9 Fourth grade: A group of boys start to bully him and even punch him badly. Alastor smiles through it all. He tells his father and mother. While his mother comforts him, his father scolds him for not fighting back.

 1906: Age 10 Fifth grade: Alastor gets his brutal revenge by daring the boys to enter into a nearby swamp. One of the bullies gets eaten by a crocodile while Alastor just watches. Alastor gets nicknamed by his father and bullies as "Alastor Hazbin."

 1907: Age 11 Sixth grade: Alastor goes hunting with his father and his father shows him how to hunt and skin deer and other game. He becomes skilled over time and loves the meat. He also learns how to cook from his mother...Jambalaya being his favorite to make.

 1908: Age 12 Seventh grade: Alastor gets slapped by his father for not participating in sports. Other kids make fun of him for being of mixed race. Loretta begins teaching him about Voodoo and Hoodoo. Alastor connects with Kalfu the deity and learns of his heritage as part French and part Creole. His grandmother was a powerful priestess and was believed to orally pass on stories and display feats of magic. His Grandmother was born in Haiti, moved to France and then to the U.S. His Uncle, Father, and Grandfather were Canadian/French Christians. His aunt was conflict avoidant, unlike his uncle and father. Loretta tells him (though he soon doesn't listen) that Voodoo is not to be used for evil, sacrifices, nor cannibalism and to only resort to cannibalism for survival.

 1909: Age 13 Eighth grade: Alastor's father yells at him for not showing interest in girls. One fateful night, his father sleeps with another woman and Alastor notices. A helpless Loretta watches as Francois whips, humiliates and molests him in his room, warning him not to tell or "he'd kill (them) both." Loretta comforts him with hugs and Jambalaya. As he eats, Alastor imagines eating off his father's fingers.

 Alastor is diagnosed with anxiety, narcissism and psychopathic tendencies. He is bullied in middle school and is not interested in sex and girls like the other boys. He finds it gross and pointless.

 Loretta's Jambalaya nearly kills her when a drunk Loretta (too much Scottish Comfort) puts gunpowder and wasabi into it. Alastor's father makes him memorize Bible passages.

 1910: Age 14 Ninth grade: Many girls both in school and outside fall in love, but Alastor isn't interested. A Satanic Ritual book appears after it was dropped by accident by imps. He looks through it with great interest and makes a deal with dark Loas: gain near unlimited power in the afterlife in exchange for his soul and the soul of a loved one.

 1911: Age 15 Tenth grade: High school was a nightmare. The bullying was worse and Alastor became more and more withdrawn. During this time, Alastor becomes interested in being a radio host and also reads books on weapons and cannibalism.

 Vision 2: Alastor dreams he is a red buck, who runs from hunters representing the elite white people. He evades a crocodile, resembling his father and his mother appears as the Voodoo goddess of beauty and motherhood.

 1912: Age 16 Eleventh grade: Alastor applies to be an apprentice for a local radio station several times, but doesn't get in. His father and uncle berate him everyday and his mother is busy at secretary work, and Voodoo rituals every month.

 1913: Age 17 Grade 12 Alastor graduates and applies again. He starts at the bottom, but rapidly moves his way up. He starts by telling dad jokes, then wants to talk about murder and crimes "far more interesting than the weather and social events."

 1914: Age 18 After experiencing harsh critiques from mainstream stations, Alastor is fired. However, he soon decides to pursue his goals on his own. His makes radios from scratch and starts his own shows, with a few private listeners at first.

 World War One begins! Alastor uses this opportunity to broadcast on a private station news of deaths in the war in graphic detail. More people start listening and his soon starts making money. Alastor makes his first kill when a man assaulted him and beat him up for him being "Black and outspoken." He was able to get away and he wondered what it'd be like to do it again on the ignorant folks.

 1915: Age 19 Alastor promotes war efforts through announcements and songs, including his ending song "You're Never Fully Dressed." However, he still describes brutal murders for the sinister folks.

 1916: Age 20 Alastor meets Husk and Mimzy at a jazz bar and club for the first time. He dances and sings with Mimzy, loving her confidence and sexy looks. (Though he doesn't like to be touched by anyone other than his mother, due to fatherly past trauma).

 1917: Age 21 Alastor meets Racheil (alternate form of Charlie) and they become fast friends. He learns of the Axeman, a fellow serial killer and learns to be careful.

 1918: Age 22

Spanish Flu Pandemic occurs!

Sadly, Alastor's mother becomes gravely ill and passes away. Alastor smiles even as he cries. Alastor's father doesn't seem to care. Alastor gets raped again and his father abandons him. Alastor's mother goes to Heaven and Alastor, not knowing what else to do, eats her remains.

 1919: Age 23 Alastor becomes depressed (and even suicidal for a while). He doesn't eat much.

Alastor eventually snaps and begins his life as a serial killer. After his mother’s death, Alastor lost his remaining traits of humanity…succumbing to his demonic nature. At that point, he didn’t care who he ate and/or killed…it was the last think he could do to keep himself sane along with drinking liquor, coffee, sewing voodoo dolls, and broadcasting the murders by himself.

 1920: Age 24

Roaring Twenties and Jazz Age. Alastor becomes known (though no one suspected it was him) by several names "Bayou Butcher," "Deer Devil" "Louisiana Lunatic" among others. Alastor revels in his fame and becomes richer and more materialistic. He buys himself suits, and a cane with deer antlers on it. One of his disturbing hobbies was using his gentleman charm to lure women into his home where he would lie them in the basement and kill them while broadcasting their screams.

 Alastor plays in a jazz band and enjoys watching musicians play while smoking and drinking liquor. He often cries in private and makes straw dolls. He drinks dark coffee every morning.

 1921: Age 25 Mimzy falls in love with Alastor and touches him inappropriately. He threatens her with a knife and she discovers he's the serial killer. She rushes to call for help but Alastor takes her into an alleyway and stabs and chokes her to death. Feeling slight remorse, he takes her home for his meal.

 1922: Age 26 Racheil breaks up with him after being concerned about his sanity. Worried he might be caught, Alastor lays low for a while before starting up again. After Alastor's father comes back, he decides to get his revenge. He ties him to a tree and tortures him during the night. The predator becomes the prey. Alastor tracks him down to a local bar. (Although he usually doesn’t stalk or chase his victims as it breaks his moral code, but his dad is an exception. Also following others/sneaking toward them are often required to kill others.) His father had been secretly afraid that Alastor would be stronger and would want to kill him, thus proving his son more dominant than himself. He had weapons ready, but Alastor had set up several traps in advance. Though Alastor was physically weaker than his father, he was very clever. He had packed a backpack of all his weapons, rope and essential tools. His father says “You and your heathen mother deserve to die” only for Alastor to respond, “Nobody talks about my mama that way.” Seeing his father knocked out, Alastor raises his knife to kill him but stops. That would merely be too easy. He supports him by the shoulders, pretending to be concerned for him as onlookers watched in shock, “It’s okay sir, you just fainted from the heat. Let’s go for a walk in the woods.” He takes him deep in the forest and chuckles darkly.

  Alastor knocks him out and ties him to a tree in a forest, waiting until he wakes up.  He starts (smiling the whole time) by slicing off his father’s dick among his father’s cussing (“when you screwed me once”), inserting a hot knife inside his father’s privates (“when you screwed me again”) then slicing off his ears (“this is for all the times when you wouldn’t listen to me”), shoving his own severed penis down his throat (“When you shoved your macho beliefs down my throat”) he whips him, then slowly cuts deep down his chest with a chainsaw, organs revealed (“this is for mama”) and finally shots him in the heart (“and this is for me, you heartless bastard.”) He eats his father’s flesh over jambalaya and it’s the best meal he’s ever had.

  1923: Age 27 He kills his victims in various ways: some hanging from trees with their organs spilled out, some buttered and eaten, others buried alive, some people shot and stabbed when he doesn’t feel like dragging it out. He’ll often poison other’s food/drinks and watch their reactions with a grin on his face. He enjoys tricking others into corners/tight spots so he doesn’t have to run after them. He’s found of pranks, especially deadly ones done on others. He saves brutal killings for racist men and women and those who think ill of him and his show. He becomes known as the “Deer Devil Dealer of New Orleans.” He only started killing people and animals at random after his mother died and he lost his mind.

 1924: Age 28

Vision 3: : He has nightmares about a demonic skeletal deer covered with maggots and sores with chunks of meat over bone and one eye hanging loose running after him. He finds himself in a dark snowy forest, a fierce biting wind. After it seemed like he had been defeated by the monster, Alastor looks into a puddle and sees another, far worse monster, a demonic wendigo reflection staring back at him…Alastor sees a horned face and malnourished skeletal body, ripped red pinstriped dress coat, four clawed hands, red and black hair and red eyes, sharp teeth, large black antlers…the wendigo form resembling his current demonic form in Hell. After killing the alligator representing his father, the wendigo Alastor look-alike shadow appears and says “This is who you really are,” before Alastor wakes up.  

 1925: Age 29

 1926: Age 30

 1927: Age 31

 1928: Age 32

 1929: Age 33 Alastor enjoys the Stock Market Crash and uses the opportunity to enjoy watching orphans suffer. It helps remind him that he's far better off than many, besides the fact that kids were annoying to him. Alastor makes an

"Axeman letter:"

  "Hell, 1929 Stock Market Crash

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans: The Deer Devil/Bayous Butcher/Louisiana Lunatic/Hazbin of Hell

 They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the sound waves that surround your earth. I am not a human being, but a demon and overlord from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians call the Deer Devil. Down here, I’m the inevitable Radio Demon.

 When I see fit, I shall appear and claim other victims as I see fit. I alone know whom they shall be. No clues will be left behind, save for what you might hear on the next broadcast.

Tell the police and the racist, elite scum of the world to beware. Let them try not to discover who I am, for it’d be better for them not to have been born than to incur the wrath of the Deer Devil. You’ll have a deer in the headlights look and won’t have any idea what hit you until after it’s too late.

Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a monster and murderer. But if I wanted to hurt anyone else here, I would have done so already. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. I could kill every one of your best and worst citizens, for I am in a close relationship with the Shadows of the Other Side.

At 6:06 pm next Friday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans and then visit those in Hell. I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, electro swing, and jambalaya. I swear by all the Loas and deities that I will spare those who can provide me with some great entertainment when I visit. Word of warning, I can read you people like a book, and see into your very souls. Anyone foolish enough to challenge me will have their corpses consumed and their screams muffled by the lovely sound of jazz bands jamming the night away.

I have been, am, and will be, the worst spirit that ever existed in fact, fantasy, or realm of Hazbins.

Smile and stay tuned!

~Deer Devil (Alastor)"

  1930:

Great Depression occurs!

 The event hits Alastor and many others hard...he runs low on food so he eats others and hunts more and more to survive. Now Alastor kills at random instead of focusing on the racist mean people.

 1931:

 1932:

 1933:

Alastor's Death

 The police eventually track Alastor down with the help of Racheil and Chasseur, a fellow deer hunter whose daughter had been killed by Alastor. Not too long before the police discover where he is, Alastor gets bitten by a rabies infested dog. For the next several hours, Alastor experiences hallucinations, paranoia, brain inflammation and a fear of water. In water, all he sees is leeches and alligators. In his hallucinations, he is being watched by a wendigo. The police chase Alastor though the dark woods, police dogs hot on the trail. A local deer hunter, Hustle, joins in on the chase. Alastor navigates the woods, trying to find a place to hide. The hunter accidentally shoots him in the back as he ran, thinking Alastor was a deer.

 Alastor experiences extreme agony when the deer hunter spots him, pointing a rifle at him. The hunter announces his location to the police. Seeing no other way out other than pain and imprisonment, Alastor takes the gun from the hunter and shoots himself between his eyes. The police dogs maul his dead body and the hunter sinks to his knees in shock and terror. Strangely enough, Alastor dies with a creepy smile on his face, the mark of Kalfu appearing behind his cold neck, unnoticed by anyone.

 1933: After death: Alastor's old body falls away as the deal with the Loas takes fruit. The shadows give him his immense powers in the shadow world and he transforms into his demon form in Hell. He gets his microphone staff, which enables him to broadcast his murders and victories. He is known as the Radio Demon. He conquers several areas of Hell, eventually getting the attention of the overlords who know to stay wary of him.

 Alastor befriends Mimzy and overlord Rosie and they sing, dance, talk and murder other demons for fun. Alastor treats them both with respect and knows not to piss off Rosie as she's stern, violent, and "practically perfect in every way."

 1950s: Alastor makes a deal with Niffty who becomes obsessed with him and men. She becomes his servant/slave/associate and cooks and cleans for him.

 1970s: Alastor makes a deal with Husk and Husk becomes his servant/slave/associate after Alastor promised him a better life with money and booze and the promise of " finding love."

 2019: Alastor sees Charlie on TV and decides to help her with the hotel (for his own enjoyment, of course.) He dances and befriends Charlie, forming plans to use her to dig deeper into the royal family and eventually take the throne and rule Hell. He hopes that with a shadow army and more possessed members, he can invade Hell, Heaven and even Earth to spread his chaos.

 Future: Alastor helps Charlie and the others protect the hotel from Sir Pentious, Vox, Valentino, Velvet and other villains.

       Hazbin Hotel and characters belong to Vivziepop, no copyright intended

 List of references and artists who inspired this work

 “A Beginning” by DrowningInFandoms208

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21713248/chapters/51792883

(44,737 word fanfiction that goes into detail on Alastor’s past, his hunter father, and his abusive behavior)

 “Alastor’s Despair” by AwkwardKaminari

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22240174/chapters/53104108 (symptoms and Alastor’s diagnosis)

 “Dressed” by Escarno

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21555379

(Alastor’s mother’s advice)

 “He’s A Mama’s Boy” by Legally bi 20

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568032 (French language and Alastor’s mothers’ similar appearance in Hell descriptions)

 “It’s Never Enough” by SydneyArtstuff https://www.instagram.com/sydney_artstuff/ (final Mimzy scene)

 “Life and Afterlife of the Radio Demon” by littledemon66

(Alastor human life tidbits and his powers in Hell)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23656960/chapters/56785624

 “Making Jambalaya With Your Father” by MajorMasterD

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949809 (mother dying and cannibalism)

 “Momma’s Boy” by Dear Husker

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782773/chapters/51976258

(Alastor’s father killing the mother and list of the years)

 “One for the Devil Inside Me” by SordidJay

(Alastor’s mother as voodoo practitioner)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918165/chapters/54781354

 “Remembrance” by ornithia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787732

(Alastor losing humanity after his mother’s death)

 “Sewing” by another–athena

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21800410

(Alastor’s love of sewing voodoo dolls of Hazbin characters. Ideas from this later used in an Alastor fic: “Hidden Hazbin Sins”)

 “The Devil of New Orleans” by WritingAndSmiting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23003890/chapters/55000696 (language, Alastor’s similar name that other’s call him, and a few cultural aspects)

  “This is for all that you put me through, you piece of shit”

by VillanousBakugou13

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22874986?view_full_work=true

(Alastor getting raped by his father and then getting his revenge)

  BlueRaven666 Alastor rabies death theory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE27sNOcDMk

#alastor #radio demon #human life #new orleans #voodoo #alastor's parents