#Fem formaggio

[la-principessa-della-squadra]

Serial Killer!Ghiaccio X Fem!reader (Part 1/?)

TW: NSFW content, Yandere, sexual harassment, kidnapping, violence, blood, gore

PLEASE NOTE: The reader of this story is not going to have much control on her surroundings.

SUMMARY: Fem!reader is invited to a laurea (graduation party) and finds Formaggio, Illuso and finally Ghiaccio. After a flashback explaining how fem!reader and Ghiaccio met, She decides to head to her dormitory with him. That was a poor choice.

Il Santo Bevitore bar,  00:31

“DOTTOOOOREEEEE…DOTTOOOOREEEEE!!!!”

October, Graduation month.

This was the third time you heard that chant.

“...Dottore nel buco del cul! VAFFANCUL!VAFFANCUL!”

The chanting was followed by the popping of a Prosecco bottle and a flying cork rolling at the feet of some random students, who probably weren’t even invited to the party.

However, that was never a problem from the start. After all, having gatecrashers at your graduation party is so common that it is now a tradition.

The foamy neck of the bottle, still steaming from its own coolness, slips into your plastic cup supported by Giorno’s quivering hands, who is once again in charge of pouring the alcohol for every single guest. From his rosy cheeks and shaky steps, it was clear that Giorno would not be able to keep himself upright much longer. 

“Grazie Gioà, sei sicuro di non dover vomitare?”

(Thanks Giorno, Are you sure you’re not feeling sick?)

You ask him sheepshly and with a slight note of worry, but before the blondie could answer you’re interrupted by a loud voice.

"UAGLIU!"

Your head quickly turns back. It’s Guido Mista, Giorno’s best friend.  He's also kinda drunk...Guido doesn't waste no time and after catching a big breath he starts shouting at the top of his lungs to give an additional toast.

“AIZ AIZ AIZ, ACAL ACAL ACAL, ACOOST ACCOST ACCOST, A SALUTA NOST!!!”

The rhythmic chant ignites a roaring wave of excitement throughout the bar, fueling Giorno's enthusiasm to the point where he eagerly presses his lips against the giant bottle. The poor guy started drinking since early in the afternoon, and the blame undoubtedly fell on Guido.

As a matter of fact, Guido kept filling up his friend’s glass with whatever alcoholic concoction was within arm's reach. Giorno had finished his graduation speech at 3:30 p.m. By 3:37 p.m. Guido had already made him chug half a bottle of shoddy Tavernello, all complemented by the bursting of confetti and colorful streamers.

Since you knew what a dangerous mix of cheap alcohol was broiling in Giorno’s stomach, you swiftly step back as an anonymous blonde boy decides to intervene by firmly confiscating the bottle of Prosecco. He looked a little concerned. However, you’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before, what was his name again?

“UEEEE PANNAAAA’ààà!!A’Pannacotta!! Ué fra, pcchè nu staj bvenn?"

(PANNACOTTA! Why aren’t you drinkin’, brah??)

You hear Guido shouting, while Giorno’s perfectly bowed laurel wreath had already fallen on his delicate, red face, messing up his golden locks. 

“Mannagg a miserij Guido, ma t'e sciumunut? se m mett a bev pur ij, aropp chi a guid a machin?! comm v port a cas? Nun me facc' ritirare la patente n'altra volta."

 (For fuck's sake Guido, have you gone nuts??If I start pounding drinks too, then who the hell's gonna get your ass home? I ain't letting those bastards revoke my damn license... again.)

Replies the friend in annoyance while adjusting the laurel wreath of a drunk and smiling Giorno.

“E ij che n sacc, stu bar è chin r ingegner autoveicolo, fatt costruì na mongolfiera. vann a naft no?”

(That sounds like a you problem, this bar is full of automotive engineers, ask them if they can build you an air baloon .They run on gasoline don't they?)

“Tu staj proprij a for.”

(You can’t be that stupid.)

At least Guido isn’t wrong, the bar is swarming with engineers looking for one thing and one thing only.

“...Aò, ma’ndò sta la figa??”

(...Yo, Where the bitches at?)

A strong smell of Menabrea invades your nostrils before an anonymous arm swiftly sorrounds your shoulders and traps your body against a men’s chest.

You quickly recognize the man’s voice.

“Formi…”

It’s Formaggio, your favourite drop-out engineer. 

A legend among your faculty for being the ultimate judge of the nightlife, Formaggio lags two years behind you. Throughout the entire semester of you two chilling together, you've taken an oath that you've never laid eyes on him cracking open a book or even getting close to one.

Formaggio's library visits are solely reserved for bugging his buddies, making quick pit stops at the restroom, exploiting his student discount on vending machine goodies, or diving into his favourite pursuit: charming the ladies.

Since it was common knowledge that Formaggio had a preference for freshmen, he very often did not hesitate to physically show you  his affection in front of other people.

“Zì. Questa festa è per i laureati in biologia, non scienze della formazione.”

(Dude. This party is for biology majors, not education majors).

That saccharine yet disinterested tone could only belong to Illuso. You don’t know much about him except that he lives with Formaggio somewhere in the centro storico and that he's majoring in architecture.

It is common knowledge that architects and engineers are natural enemies, like engineers and mathematicians, engineers and physicists, and engineers and other engineers…Damn engineers! They ruined STEM...

Despite all that, these two seem to get along perfectly.

“Mecojoni...”

(DAMN.)

While immersed in your own thoughts, your left check is refreshed by the condensation of Formaggio’s Menabrea as he tries to hold you closer to his chest. He drank too much, and therefore he’s getting even more touchy.

“Ti vedo accaldata chicca, ti prendo qualcosa da bere?Lulù perchè nun vai dall’oste e ce piji quarcosa? Tiè, prendite ‘no scudo e facce fa’ due gintonic.”

(I see you're sizzlin' up, babe. Need a drink to cool those flames? Lulu, hit up the bar, grab some stuff for us. Get a couple of gintons in the mix)

“Oh no no…sto apposto!”

(UH,Nah…I’m fine!)

Panicked, you encounter Illuso’s sight, who immediately gives you an almost disgusted look, as if it was your fault if his friend is drooling all over you. His eyes narrow above a tight and twist smile, and Formaggio gives him a flickering smile back.

"Facciamo che ci vai tu fino al bancone dato che stai preso bene."

( Why don't YOU go to the bar and get us something?)

"Sei propio da' a Lazio, Lulù."

(You're a fucking cunt, Lulu, you know that?)

“ Immaginavo di trovarti qui.”

(I knew you were here.)

Your body is shaken by a sudden shiver. At first glance, you connected that chill to the Menabrea freezing damp glass, but you soon catch on that the bottle is no longer grazing against your cheek.

It’s his voice that made you shiver.

It’s too familiar.

“Oh, Ghiaccio,ce stai anche tu.”

(Oh Ghiaccio, you’re here too.)

Formaggio turns his head behind his shoulders while still keeping his hands on you. His smile fades and his friendly tone vanishes, now resembling Illuso’s.

Regrettably, you know exactly the reason behind Formaggio’s sudden change. It’s no secret that Ghiaccio is an expert in ruining the mood with his bad attitude. In the past, Formaggio tried to warn you many times about Ghiaccio's sudden violent outbursts. 

You found it hard to believe since Formaggio never looked really concerned for his friend but rather preoccupied about his 'party pooper’ attitude.

According to him:

If sober, Ghiaccio would kill the buzz. 

When drunk, Ghiaccio would kill people. 

Even if you seriously doubted about the 'killing' part, everyone on the faculty thought that Ghiaccio was a bit of a weirdo. 

Not that engineers in general aren’t labeled as ‘weirdos’. However, Ghiaccio was giving all those signs of someone you shouldn't approach. After all: ‘ quale persona sana di mente si iscriverebbe a ingegneria, per di più a ingegneria chimica?’

Every time someone actually took the courage to come up to his desk and try to have a word with him, his responses were always dry and blunt. Hunched over his computer and with a MATLAB tab permanently open, not once had he raised his head to engage in conversation with his interlocutor. 

As a matter of fact, it was only his eyes that tried to move.

The gaze behind those thick glasses became suddenly glacial and sinister, accompanied by a tone so saccharine and dismissive that it would have put anyone off.

Ghiaccio sat stiff and still like a taxidermy animal, looking more dog than human.

Ghiaccio sat there, rigid and lifeless, more canine than human. In fact, he often stood as alone as a rabid dog.

Right now, his friends felt his gaze - that of a rabid dog.

“Qualche problema Maggio? Non hai qualche matricola da seviziare?”

(Any problems Maggio? Couldn’t find any freshman to harass?)

Ghiaccio’s sharp tongue brings you back to reality. The blue-haired boy appeared out of thin hair behind Illuso’s back, startling him. He stands there with his glasses slightly fogged up from the air humidity. His right hand clutches a plastic cup that filled with ice, just ice. Weird.

“Cristo Ghiaccio mi hai quasi fatto prendere un infarto. Sembri un morto che cammina.”

(Jesus Christ Ghiaccio,you almost gave me a heart attack. You look like a walking corpse.)

Comments Illuso, glancing in Formaggio’s directions as he lifts his arm from your shoulders and starts loudly chugging the rest of the Menabrea. This visibly annoys Ghiaccio who instinctively shows his teeth, clenching them in a crooked and forced smile.

“Ciao Ghia, come ti vanno le cose?”

(Hello Ghia, How is it going?)

The smile fades. Ghiaccio starts purposely ignoring the two men, and instead he focuses on you:

“Secondo te, tosa? Domani ho Analisi 2.”

(What you think, tosa? Tomorrow I got the Analysis 2 exam.)

“Non sei preparato-”

(Did you stu-)

“Che domanda der cazzo fai chicca, dove pensi che è stato fin ora, se non chiuso in biblioteca?”

(What a damn dumb question, babe. "Did you study?" Like, where the hell do you think he were just a sec? In a freakin' library, duh.)

Formaggio cuts you, mocking your girly voice.

You cautiously raise your hands, waiting for Ghiaccio to burst out for being interrupted, but that doesn't happen. The blue-haired man just shoots Formaggio a death stare, head slightly cocked, eyes piercing through those thin brows. You notice him instinctively baring his teeth and gums at the man like he's about to bite his neck.

It's a warning.

Formaggio takes the hint and casually peers into the bottle, scrounging for any last drops. Meanwhile, Illuso's ego is so massive that he flat out brushes off Ghiaccio's response and jumps right into schooling his buddy.

“Dove pensi che sia. SIA. Il congiuntivo l’hai lasciato al Quadraro?”

(Where do you think He was. He WAS.)

“Lulù stai cercando una capocciata o una bottigliata? Posso dartele entrambe. Te lascio scegliere l’ordine.”

(Listen Lulu. Do you want to catch these hand or the bottle? I can give you both. Just say a word.)

Formaggio's tone takes on a slurred edge, like he's got a bit too much booze in his system for fooling around. Illuso catches wind of this and takes it as the perfect chance to blow off some steam. Weirdly enough, Ghiaccio stays dead quiet, sitting this convo out.

Now that's a twist.

Still, you catch a little something. Even though the guy's zipped his lip, you spy the plastic cup in his grip utterly squashed.

Why's he holding back? You can read it in his expression, he's just itching to unleash his piece.

“Ziofà facciamo che se sei ignorante non è colpa mia.”

(It’s not my fault you’re ignorant)

Replies the tall man while stiffing up and crossing his arm to feel superior. Now Illuso is not even glaring at Formaggio anymore, and he's perfectly aware this is going to drive him mad.

“Ma chi credi de cojonà a' Pariolino?Ignorante lo dici a tua sorella.”

(You did not just call me ignorant.)

“Ignorante nel senso che ignori la grammatica italiana.”

(Don’t take it personally. I said Ignorant because you're ignoring the Italian grammar)

“Allora tu sei un imbecille perchè Imbelle”

(Then you’re an imbecile because you're imbecilin')

“BOJA FAUSS QUELLO CHE HAI DETTO NON HA UN CAZZO DI SENSO, ZI.”

(That doesn’t even make any sense! You just MADE UP. A FUCKING WORD.)

Finally, Illuso comes down from his pedestal and starts hatefully staring at his friend.

"CHICCA!"

(BABE!)

Formaggio turns towards you for half a second and hands you the empty Menabrea before turning his gaze back to Illuso.

"PIJATE STA MENABREA. MO' TE PARTO DE CAPOCCIA!"

(HOLD THIS FOR ME. THIS FAG IS ABOUT TO CATCH THESE HANDS!)

Formaggio's voice blares like a damn siren, catching the attention of everyone in the joint. A bunch of folks, wreaths atop their heads, swivel around, and others in the joint follow suit. In the midst of the mob, you spot Guido secretively trying on Giorno's laurel wreath while the dude's occupied with some pink-haired girl, fussing over his fancy-ass braid.

"Ragazzi non fate gli stupidi. Non potete fare a botte qui- Ci stano guardando tutti..."

(Guys. Stop this nonsense. You can't fight here. Everyone is looking-)

You make a move to put a stop to their antics, when a chilling voice sneaks into your ear...

“Vieni.” 

(Let's go.)

Freddo.

This sensation is familiar, it’s like being in one of those deep, paralyzing sleeps where the weight of the bed covers feels like a boulder. But this time your body seems as if covered by a light sheet. A cold sheet, as if it had never dried. It’s wet and icy, a cold so sharp that starts biting into your skin.

Your head starts spinning, even though you are sure you haven't moved. 

You remain motionless, unable to do anything but inhale icy air.

You feel as if my whole skin is covered with frost.

Your memories are confused and jumbled...you cannot make sense of them.  Under your clenched eyelids, lights, sounds and colors from llast night mix in a continuous spiral, causing you to feel nauseous. After taking a few breaths, your head finally stops throbbing like the speakers of a disco. Your back hurts as it's lying on a hard surface that is even colder than the surrounding air. The unpleasant sensation given by your skin attached to the icy surface challenges you to move your muscles.... But something is wrong. 

They won't move. They can't move.

You sense your hands resting next to your body, the tips of your fingers numb with cold... However, when you flex them in order to warm them, they do not respond to your thoughts. Panic suddenly makes you lucid. you open your eyes.

Your eyes snap open, only to be assaulted by a blinding white radiance. It's intoxicating, that brilliance. A sea of white stretching to every horizon.

A single source of light reigns, the ceiling lamp above you. You lie atop a slab of metal, nothing but gravity pressing you into its unforgiving surface.

“ah...ah…”

Your breath begins to shorten.

White smoke lazily rises from your lips, disappearing into the neon. The light illuminates your figure yet denies you any heat. You look around, trying to figure out where you are. Your neck slowly begins to loosen, allowing you to get a better look around the room...

Beyond, darkness reigns, a domain devoid of form or presence. Yet, something sinister looms along the walls, whether furniture or pillars, they crawl from floor to ceiling.

Your vision drifts downward, over your frozen feet, past the table's edge, until a glimmer dances at the periphery.

A door? 

“C-C-C’è…c’è q-qualcuno?”

(is-is anybody there?)

Your voice is hoarse, cracking when you try to speak. The icy air scratches your throat, your skin quivers.

The tips of your fingers have now lost sensibility, as if they have become one with the table. You cough... then you try to speak again, louder.

“Pe-Per favore!!COFF! AIUTO!! Sono qui!! Non cè nessuno?!”

(Anyone! Anybody!!Please, some-Cough-SOMEONE HELP!!)

After shouting, you wait panting for an answer... a sign...any sign. 

Suddenly you hear footsteps approaching, slow and measured. A shadow obscures the narrow glimmer coming from the door. The sound of several locks being opened echoes in the room. 

The door slowly opens, letting a much stronger light invade the room, revealing an unknown figure.  A man is watching you from the threshold but the light beyond him prevents you from recognize him.

Your eyes flicker as the light sound of your chattering teeth signals you've just regained control of your jaw muscles.

The expression you’re making seems to amuse the man. A soft chuckle escapes him as he strides into the room, sealing the door in his wake. He drags in a cart, and upon its enigmatic cargo, your gaze falters, unable to discern the details.

“Non ti conviene sforzarti così tanto…rischi di farti male.”

(Oh dear, you shouldn't push yourself too hard...you'll end up hurting yourself.)

His voice slices through the air, sharper than the chill. Dread claws at you, its grip tightening as his teeth catch your attention more than his eyes do. A grin stretches across his face, a gruesome expanse that reveals his gums. His gaze remains unaltered, a predator's stare, unrelenting and piercing.

Behind those glasses, his eyes undress you, baring your vulnerability as if you weren't already stripped bare.

“G-Ghiaccio?”

 “Shhh..ti fa male da qualche parte?Come va il respiro?”

(Shhh. Does it hurt anywhere? is your breathing okay?)

All of a sudden, the man puts on a genuinely concerned face, and seems to be focused on your face.

"C-Che è successo??...Ci siamo schiantati?”

(what.... what happened...where am I? did we crash?)

Your voice tremble, it’s stuttering. You gasp as you notice his hand resting on the table, beside your ankle.

" Non c'è niente di cui avere paura...concentrati e rispondi alla domanda: ti fa male da qualche parte?"

(don't worry about it now.... take a breath, stay focused and answer me: does it hurt anywhere?)

The situation is surreal.... what happened? Perhaps you're in a hospital? Did you have an accident? Are you paralyzed because of that?

"n-no. Non c'è niente che mi fa male...ma non riesco a muovermi...h-ho così tanto freddo..."

(n..no.... nothing hurts.... but I can't move..p..I might have something d- to put on...I'm so f-ing cold...)

You murmur, your voice trembling from both cold and unease. Shivers run through you, the icy fingers of anxiety now accompanying the chill. The man's lips curve at your hushed words, his face inches from yours. Your cheeks burn, tainted red by a mix of emotions.

"In un attimo, chicca."

(In a moment, babe.)

He purrs, his tone velvety. However, that ' babe' part is filled with venom and resentment. You quickly notice he's making a sloppy imitation of Formaggio's accent.

His face inches closer, his gaze locked onto yours.

"Sto controllando che sia tutto apposto...dimmi..."

(I must make sure everything's alright... tell me...)

His hand touches the sole of your right foot, a warmth you haven't felt since you woke.

"Senti le mie dita?"

(Can you sense my fingers?)

"Sì..."

(Yes...)

You're aware of his index finger trailing over your skin, a sensation that sends ripples through your body. Past your knee, ascending your thigh, the warmth causes both your form and fear to tremble. His other fingers join the index, like sinister accomplices, tracing your flesh. With a creeping exploration, his hand moves until it firmly presses against your inner thigh.

"Dimmi quando non le senti più."

(Let me know when you can't feel them anymore.)

"a-ah!F-fermo!"

(a-ah! Stop!)

You attempt to resist, but your defiance only manifests in the frustrated shake of your head...

"Rilassati..."

(Relax...)

He coos, his voice a syrupy assurance.

"Non ti farò niente...per ora. Non sei contenta di ricevere un check up gratuito?"

(I won't do anything... yet. Isn't a complimentary check-up something to be glad about?)

His hand still lingers on your inner thigh, its touch a languid caress that ignites a warmth, craving coursing through your body. You relinquish the sensation, only to be met once again with the unforgiving cold of the table.

"C-Che cosa è successo?"

(What... What's happened to me?)

Breathless, you gasp, your chest heaving. The man's features retain an eerie calm as you sense his touch upon you once more. His fingers slip under your right hand's palm, lifting it, while his other hand blankets your back.

"Solo un attimo chicca, devo finire il chek-up...Poverina, le tue mani sono congelate."

(Just a moment, babe. I need to finish the check-up... Poor thing, your hands are freezing....)

 He smiles as his warm hands rub against yours, giving you such relief that a sigh of pleasure escapes you.

"oh-"

This time, his 'babe' doesn't feel as a mockery.

You catch the sight of his tongue darting across his lips, a prelude to him exhaling gently onto your fingers. His warm breath works its magic, coaxing sensitivity back into your once-numb digits.

"Ti piace, non è vero?...lascia che ti faccia stare meglio..."

(Feels good, doesn't it? let me do something special...) 

Before you can say anything, his mouth is pressed on your fingers as he starts to kiss them, slowly.... how can those lips be so warm.... the gesture is so unexpected that leaves you speechless. You feel your head dipping into a fog-you are still dreaming. You are definitely dreaming. There is no other explanation, 

-ah-

Your index finger slides into his mouth, encountering the sensation of his warm, wet tongue caressing your nail, descending to its very base. It's a repulsive, slimy sensation, made eerier by the expression he wears—a perverse delight akin to a child sucking their favorite treat.

"M-ma che fai? S-Smettila..."

(N-no... no, stop...)

You stammer, horror clenching at your chest, urging him to cease.

Your gaze locks onto the dreadful scene unfolding before you. Slowly, he extracts your index finger, his lips gripping its tip. Behind the thick lenses of his glasses, Ghiaccio gazes at you, his eyes holding an unsettling glint. As terror courses through you, his teeth begin to close deliberately, his molars biting down, the pressure intensifying with every passing second.

"No-C-Che cosa-AHI. AHIA!! MI FAI MALE! L-Lasciami!! SMETTILA!!"

(No—what are you doing? Ah!AHH! YOU'RE HURTING ME!! It hurts! NO!)

Recognition dawns as you comprehend his sinister intent. The sound that echoes from him—a chilling crunch—is oddly familiar, like the memory of your grandmother offering freshly harvested, crisp carrots from her garden when you were a child.

*CRUNCH*

A scream rips from your throat, pain blurring your sight. His jaw locks around the bone with an aggressive grip.

In a split second that catches you off guard, Ghiaccio tears two of your phalanges away, wrenching your finger free in a swift, brutal motion. The forceful snap of his head results in a gruesome sight—a gushing surge of blood spraying forth.

Your hand remains locked in his.

The vile squelching of his chewing churns your stomach. He's like a rabid dog ravaging his prey.

"Mmh... sapevo ne sarebbe valsa la pena"

(Mhh... delicious... just as I'd imagined.)

Your shrieks of torment transform into violent retches. You twist your face aside, desperate to avoid vomiting, yet there's nothing left to expel. The sound of his swallowing grates on your ears. More convulsions wrack your frame, forcing your eyes to shut.

You can hear him dragging the cart closer, your gaze drawn to the crimson smears that now stain his scrubs. You can't muster the strength to confront your mangled hand.

"Ci vuole calma e sangue freddo, tosa."

(Baby, it's cold outside.)

#la squadra #ghiaccio #la squadra esecuzioni #ghiaccio jjba #jjba ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #yandere ghiaccio #yandere x reader #jjba formaggio #jjba illuso #jjba giorno giovanna #jjba fugo pannacotta #jjba guido mista #jojo no kimyō na bōken #tw:blood #fem!reader x ghiaccio #This draft recently resurfaced #I've realized that it won't get any better #I will never finish this #rega finalmente me la sono tolta dai maroni

[nicherayy]

Yandere La Squadra x Fem! Reader OUTLAST AU

Next chapter: chapter one

PREVIEW

This will be 18+

TW: I think “outlast” is a trigger warning by itself

A/N: what did I create.

Enjoy

“Are you sure this job really suits me? I’m not sure I can have a conversation with psychopaths”, you were sitting in the unlighted office, a little stunned by your boss’s offer.

“Y/N”, he started “you know our company needs money, and you’re also aware of our company depts”. It was true, your newspaper does not have a good reputation, always spreading stupid gossip that turns out to be untrue in the end “This is our big chance, just imagine this headlines! Y/N L/N with the exclusive interview in the Mount Massive Asylum! Our readers would just love it, and moreover, they would love you and your talent”, your boss looked at you smugly “This is your chance to prove yourself to the world”.

Your boss wasn’t the best, often raising his voice at workers and cutting wages. You tried to find another job, but most employers didn’t even looked at your resume. That’s why you waited, not even understanding what for. For a big chance? For a salary increase? For the death of your seventy-year-old boss and for his next better replacement? Or you simply had nowhere to go. Yeah, that was probably the reason.

“Y/N are you listening to me?” he raises his voice a little. You’re interrupted from your thoughts.

Sighing heavily, you stare at him intently, still unsure of the correctness of this idea, “I’ll go”.

The road to the asylum was difficult. Why such places are always placed in the middle of nowhere? To be honest, you thought your old car was going to break down. The road seemed eternal when finally this weird place could be seen in the distance. Quite a big building. Mount Massive, how many rumours have you heard about this mental hospital. But you were here to dispel them.. or maybe to confirm them?

“Just a little interview”, you thought “and this’ll be over” but this was just the beginning.

#la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra x reader #yandere la squadra #fem reader #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #pesci x reader #sorbet and gelato #prosciutto x reader #jjba x y/n #jjba part 5 #jjba x reader #jjba fanfic #jojos bizarre adventure #ghiaccio x reader #melone x reader #la squadra di esecuzione

[kattartsblog]

Final book end

#my art #jjba #la squadra #melone #formaggio #risotto nero #illuso #ghiaccio #pesci #sorbet and gelato #sorlato #fem la squadra #ask fem squadra #genderbend #genderswap #genderswap!buccigang #bruno bucciarati #giorno giovanna #requesummer 3

[lemonflavoreddishsoap]

Hi, may I please for headcanons for la squadra with a gn s/o who often gets mistaken for a prince/ss cause they're fairytale attractive

POV you get kicked out of La Squadra cuz your Disney Prince(ss) ass keeps attracting BIRDS.

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La Squadra with an S/O who gets mistaken as a Prince/Princess

Formaggio

He loves whenever people stop and compliment you, or are absolutely dumbfounded from how pretty/handsome you are. He, probably more than anyone, is aware of just how ethereal you are, and he loves to have the whole world acknowledge it.

If a little kid were to toddle over to you two and asks you directly if you're royalty, due to your beauty, he stands to the side with an amused smile as you explain to the kid that unfortunately you are not!

But as the kid walks away, a tad bit dejected at not meeting a real-life prince/princess, he parts from your side to go crouch next to the little one and talk to them. You don't hear it, but he's sharing a "little secret"...you actually are royalty. He chuckles at the sparkle in the kid's eyes, and the two make a pinky promise to not reveal your "secret to the world" before he catches back up with you.

"What was that all about, Formaggio?" "Oh, don't worry about it."

You find yourself getting called a new petname after that event <3

Illuso

The two of you are BOTH fawned over equally. If you're more on the fem side, the two of you are giving random strangers bisexual awakenings.

And he eats it right up. He's in love with both the attention to himself and the attention to his beloved. Like fuck yes you're also beautiful, it's amazing everyone can see that.

If anyone is to mistake either/both of you as royalty, he'll be perfectly fine with informing them otherwise; more than fine, actually. Why? Well, it's the perfect opportunity to fish for compliments from anyone possible!

"Royalty? Pssh, not at all. You really think so?" "Oh, well I didn't think my face shape was that impressive, y'know..." "MY partner? a prince(ss)? Well yeah, they are quite beautiful, aren't they?"

If you join him in the compliment-fishing he just falls further in love.

Prosciutto

The two of you are ALSO the most gorgeous couple around. Compliments towards your individual and combined beauty are constant because godDAMN.

Pesci is the first one to compare the two of you royalty, and at the time Prosciutto just shrugs it off. Not that he doesn't appreciate his teammate's kindness, it's just that with Pesci it's kind of expected. Feel free to thank him, though - honestly it makes your lover smile a bit to see you get along with his mentee.

It's when some old lady stops you two to sincerely gush over how incredible you two look together that you get reactions. First and foremost, a tightening of his hand around yours.

"Very kind of you, miss. I'm so very lucky to give my life to this perfect individual."

While he's clearly happy with interactions like that, it's when you make the comparisons to one another that he really lets his face grow warm.

Pesci

His heart flutters every time someone is stunned by how attractive you are. He sees himself in their pink cheeks and wide eyes, he knows exactly how they must be feeling. How can someone so beautiful exist?? He sure was still trying to figure that out.

He's just as flustered as you when people call you as pretty as a prince(ss), and he stays quiet, letting you respond to the person. In all honesty, people don't often assume you two are dating at first, but if you bring it up, he is often congratulated for scoring on a lovely fellow/lady. Just think of his smile <333 AUGH

Pesci wants you to be completely aware that he doesn't just love you for your appearance, and he loves everything about you, but...

"...They are right, you're so beautiful!"

He thinks calling you prince/princess is quite fitting, and will definitely ask you if he can start doing so!

Melone

He keeps his mouth shut and watches every interaction: how immediately captivated and smitten every person is, what exactly they compliment, and how you react to each glowing word, whether it be with a flushed face and lost composure or if you smirk and take it all easily.

It's not that he's being creepy or possessive (probably), he just respects that the moment is entirely about you. You and your effortless charm. He just wants to take it all in himself.

But when some wide-eyed young lady likens you to a prince/princess he can't help but grin - you see the same look in his eyes as when he's solving something on his laptop. The result of his calculations? Ah, yep, it's true. You are royally gorgeous.

"What a smart girl. I never connected the words myself but...a prince(ss)? I'd be willing to believe so."

The interaction isn't really brought up between you two beyond that day. However, if there's anything you know about Melone, it's that he's hard to read. For all you know, he could be thinking about it every time he looks at you.

Ghiaccio

His immediate reaction is to wonder out loud how being beautiful automatically connects to royalty. He'll drop it for a second if you ask him too, but when it's just the two of you he'll bring it up again. Really though, can "peasants" not be attractive? What the fuck!?

You have to explain the compliment directed at you to him, but you know what he's like, you pretty much signed up for this. Luckily it doesn't take him long to understand. He agrees, one hundred percent, that you're so incredible that you seem like a fantasy sometimes, so he gives it to you straight how gorgeous you are.

But...it's weird. Something like this usually wouldn't bug him but he can't shake the buzz of feeling bad. He tries not to feel self conscious about his anger, but of all the things to throw a fit over, it happened to be a major compliment to you. He tries to remedy it later that night.

"You are attractive. Most attractive motherfucker in the goddamn world, and hell if that means you're a fucking prince/princess then I guess I have to agree with it. Please never let my temper make you believe I don't love you endlessly."

Good god how you jumble his brain /pos

Risotto

You plague the abstract thoughts of his mind. Every fuzzy visual in his non-terror dreams feel like optical illusions that lead to your face, and the pulses of colour he sees behind his eyelids seem to always be in the hues that remind him of you. In short, he thinks of you a lot. Maybe more than he should.

So when he watches strangers and even some friends praise your appearance, and the comparisons to fantasy and royalty begin, he chews the back of his lip. You, a prince(ss)...he can practically feel his mind begin to run. Something doesn't feel right. He knows the intention of it, but in his mind you're something stronger than that, you're a king. Queen if you prefer.

You rule over his mind, he thinks. You're the foundation of his hope and comfort, but also his fear. Secure in his arms, half asleep and curling into his embrace, you're driving him insane and you aren't even trying. Your mental grip on his challenges his physical grip as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

"My queen/king, I love you."

...Yes, yes, you are the most beautiful thing in the world.

#IM SORRY THAT I KINDA. CALLED SOME CHARACTERS PRETTIER THAN OTHERS HERE LMAO #like ghiaccio is my fave but i HAVE to admit Pros and Illuso are pretty #pesci #prosciutto #jjba headcanons #formaggio #illuso #melone #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #melone x reader #jjba x reader #jjba #the more i write for this blog the more apparent i think it becomes that i want to hug and compliment pesci for days #not even necessarily romanticaly #just in general #sorry that ghiaccio's is like. weirdly specific. idk its just how i made his work #risotto's may seem kinda odd too but i wrote his with NO ideas and so #went kinda nuts #and also The Real World by Owl City was playing which definitely was an influence #maybe ill discuss how i use music to help me write. if anyones interested. its nothing complicated or cool #la squadra #la squadra x reader

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

May I please for a scenario or headcanons for poly La Squadra including Sorlato with fem darling who knows about their interest towards her and her saying this:

"I know your interest in me, and I'm willing to return those feelings if you let me continue working in my doll shop and you guys work there. Also, I know your original paychecks sucks, so we all get what we want."

Cool, extra hands to help out? Seems like a good bargain, on the surface, there’s no take backs once you say “yes” and being Yandere they will test their dearests mettle to the limits.

Yandere! La Squadra w/ doll shop owner darling

So whether you repair, sell, make dolls, they’re all ready to help. Which depending on the options could be quite chaotic. There will be times they absolutely make you uncomfortable.

Formaggio probably makes comments of how this is rather a bit girly for him and he’d rather just hang around you, Illuso makes a jab at his statement in which these two have a little back and forth. They don’t really end up fighting but there’s a little intensity you can feel.

He then keeps coming up to you for the smallest of tasks or takes forever on certain bits that should be child’s play. It’s absolutely on purpose and almost impossible to get him off your back.

He also mentions you’re so sweet for paying them. That it’s a good thing that he’s there with the others, otherwise you could get taken advantage of. He’s only allowed to do that, and you can feel the irony of his statement thick in the air.

Sewing/clothing repair is interestingly enough right up Pesci’s alley. He’s worked with fishing line and other thin wires so learning isn’t hard when you teach him. Which you likely praise him for how quickly he’s picked things up.

If you compliment him he gets rather shaky, you swear you see some blush to his cheeks, and Prosciutto scolds him to at least try and keep his composure. His heart flys to the moon if you think his nervousness is cute.

Prosciutto is sort of beaming with pride, but at the same time insists having some time with you himself. There might be a lingering amount of jealousy he had for Pesci’s praise coming from you, but he puts that aside and decides he needs to step up his game.

He gets all professional with you and staring at your stitch work, he’ll immediately help you with any snag/mistake you might’ve made. There’s a point he might even guide your own hands if he sees the need.

He absolutely makes sure you can feel him beside you, and is memorizing every type of fabric you use, the measurements, and accessories. Is he much too close to one side of your ear? That’s a yes. He’ll even tell you it’s absolutely necessary, somehow batting off your concerns as if they’re excuses.

Sorbet and Gelato are an interesting pair that love keeping each other company whenever they can dip out. It feels like they’re unproductive in their work, but by the time you’re closing every little thing you asked them to do is done. It seems they’re rather great at keeping your dolls clean honestly. This does come at a personal cost, if no one else is cornering you Sorbet and Gelato will absolutely be there. Gelato seems to recommend certain dolls be rearranged in a certain way. A couple of them are plucked and the money is all in the register. Sorbet on the other hand seems to be great at seeing which ones have massive value if you received a donation or sale. Telling you them to lock them behind glass, the two of them seem to joke about locking you beind a cute glass display. The way they say it seemingly romantically doesn’t feel like a joke however.

Melone does very well with making sure all of your money is accounted for, somehow he knows all your expenses and other things he probably shouldn’t know about you.

If you’re working in the back and he comes into help with a little dusting or cleaning. He will make pretty suggestive comments about you, and suggests some of the outfits the dolls have would be adorable. If you distract him with something such as horoscopes, he immediately explains every little thing about each sign. How you two positively match and were meant to be. Can end up being rather overwhelming.

He does end up having good suggestions on what people seem to gravitate towards. Which of course he tells you this in great detail.

No matter what job he’s put in he almost always manages to be creepy someway, so you’re likely to have him somewhere out of sight out of mind. He doesn’t consider this a punishment in the slightest, and will certainly take advantage with flirting with you behind the scenes. Having him in front of customers is a big no-no however.

Ghiaccio is another handful of his own, he gets sets off pretty easily so you have to figure out a decent way for him to work on something. He does tend to grab your hand occasionally and gently pull you over to him without warning. (Except around risotto).

He does get very agitated if a customer tries to disrespect you. They may not ever come back if he gets their hands on them.

Insists on having you within his eyesight almost constantly, or at least having you around with whatever task you’re having him do.

You do have to coach him out of his jealousy rages or getting aggravated at another member occasionally. Usually you end up making him some type of tea, he indeed relishes this.

Illuso is likely to be the best at being at the front (aside from yourself or prosciutto). He rather enjoys that you don’t mind him “hogging” the position. It gives him an easy way to be almost constantly in your presence.

He’s thorough on whatever you task him with, he wouldn’t be an assassin if he wasn’t capable after all. He’s so thorough he takes advantage and insists to help you himself. Does his best to make you flustered at any given point in the day.

He definitely stalks you and will chillingly mention a show you liked on tv the night before. Unironically engaging in said show’s contents, all while reveling in your conflicting expressions. He’ll fluster you even more if given the chance, up to the point he’s pulled away to do something else.

Risotto is his another enigma with his obsessiveness, he insists on doing everything during closing hours. Taking inventory/stocking, some of your business side paperwork is done even though you didn’t ask him to. He seems normal on the outside but there’s this aura about him that inwardly sets you off. Like he never wants you to leave his sight.

Any troublesome things occurring outside your business (and your home if it’s not right by) cease. He absolutely follows you home every night and early morning when possible. You’ll never see him however, he makes sure of that. He keeps his team in line when need be, but ironically that means you as well.

He wants you comfortable but he’s not afraid of going right to the edge of insanity to keep you around. He’ll certainly coordinate with other members of the team. He considers your “yes” a contract of approval and will do what he sees fit to keep you around. If that means going to the lengths of threatening others so be it. But he and the others already agreed upon this regardless of how you felt about them.

There are dozens of times he just seems to pop out of nowhere on you. He doesn’t seem to have issue with this in the slightest, if you need your hand held from nearly having a heart attack he’s there to oblige.

Just before he goes out on a mission, he always leaves a favorite food of yours (packaged preferably) on your desk.

If you wonder how he got in without giving him with a key, he likely used Metallica to figure out the shape of the keyhole of your locks.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere imagines #yandere jjba imagines #yandere jjba x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere formaggio #yandere prosciutto #yandere illuso #yandere pesci #yandere ghiaccio #yandere sorbet and gelato #yandere risotto nero #yandere risotto #yandere melone #Yandere formaggio

[dark-side-of-passion]

𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

♡ 𝐋𝐚 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐚

Ghiaccio x reader: rough sex.(+18)

Ghiaccio x reader: fingering. (+18)

Ghiaccio solo (+18)

Ghiaccio x reader: foreplay.(+18)

Ghiaccio x reader: Fem! Reader riding on top of Ghiaccio.(+18)

Ghiaccio x reader: hand holding.

Ghiaccio x reader: Ghiaccio flirting with reader

Melone x reader: caressing reader

Melone x reader: slight foreplay.(+18)

Prosciutto x reader: reader being held by the face by a really pissed/ horny Prosciutto(+18)

Formaggio x reader: Formaggio hugging reader.

Risotto x reader: hand holding.

How la squadra react when you confess your love? (Ghiaccio | Melone)

How would la squadra react if they see reader wearing a bunny suit (Part 1: Formaggio/Ghiaccio)

#la squadra x y/n #la squadra x reader #masterlist #vento aureo #golden wind

[etherealzx]

this is super self indulgent, i've been sweet on ghiaccio lately and the thought of him being jealous just made me start giggling and kicking my feet

Jealousy (Ghiaccio x Fem!Reader)

warnings: suggestive content. (nothing explicit), very slight melone x reader. fem!reader, feminine terms used, slightly toxic behavior

   Ghiaccio was being colder to you than usual. The two of you had gotten into an argument this morning that got out of hand quickly. It started off with something small and stupid, and escalated to the point of yelling and hurling insults at each other. It happened every now and then, but you usually were the one that ended up apologizing and making things right again. Ghiaccio was very stubborn and didn’t like to be wrong. Arguing with him was like trying to argue with a brick wall sometimes.

He had been ignoring you all day since the fight. You would see him around the hideout, and try to talk to him, and he would pretend he didn’t see you. He just walked right past you over to Melone and started a conversation with him as if you weren’t standing right there. You stood in shock for a moment, before crossing your arms. If that’s the game he wanted to play, then you were gonna play it right back. During his conversation with Melone, you overheard him say that he was going to the club tonight with Formaggio and Illuso. You knew exactly what he was trying to do. Ghiaccio hates the club, he’s expressed that to you multiple times. He doesn’t really dance, and he doesn’t see the point in drinking. He was trying to make you jealous. You remained nonchalant, sitting with your arms crossed as he talked with his teammate. He was used to you being the one that came crawling back to him, crying and apologizing and begging him to forgive you. But not this time. You didn’t want to stroke his already inflated ego. He needed to be humbled, and you knew exactly how to do it.

Eventually, Ghiaccio left the room, leaving just you and Melone. You looked over at the lilac haired male, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Relationship problems?” He asked, teasingly. You rolled your eyes at his remark. “He thinks the silent treatment is going to get me to come back begging for him, but I’m tired of being the one that always has to beg for him back. I want him to be begging for me tonight,” You said, earning an eyebrow raise from Melone. “Would you be willing to help me get his attention tonight?” You asked, to which he replied “Oh absolutely, dolcezza. You play dirty, and I like that.” He licked his lips. Tonight would definitely be interesting.

You walked into the nightclub that Ghiaccio had mentioned coming to earlier. You had on an especially slutty outfit, an outfit much more revealing than you would normally wear. It was a short, skin-tight black dress with cutouts all over it, and elbow-length black gloves to match. It certainly didn’t leave very much to the imagination. You walked in and found your way over to the bar, where Melone was sitting, joined by Ghiaccio, Illuso, and Formaggio. Formaggio let out a cat-call whistle, eyeing you up and down. Illuso was also eyeing you, not used to seeing you dress this provocatively. Ghiaccio sat stiff on his barstool, red in the face and trying his hardest not to look at you. You hadn’t even started your plan yet, and it was already working. You were always friendly with Melone, but you were making a point to be especially friendly with him tonight in front of your boyfriend. You greeted the lilac haired man with a kiss on the cheek, making Ghiaccio clench his fists so hard his knuckles turned white.

A particularly explicit song started playing over the club’s speakers, one that Melone had requested the DJ to play. He looked over at you, and you knew that was the signal. You grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the dancefloor with you. You wrapped your arms around Melone’s neck as you danced with him, the pulsing beat of the song blasting over the speakers. You glanced over at the bar, to see Ghiaccio clenching the barstool so hard it looked like it could break. You giggled, and said into Melone’s ear, “It’s working.” “Oh, we’re not done yet. Let’s kick it up a notch, cara.” He put his hands on your hips, guiding you as you practically grinded on him. You moved your hips with his, running your hands through his silky hair. He ran his hands up and down your body, caressing all of your curves. Formaggio and Illuso were cheering you on, which was pissing your boyfriend off even worse. Ghiaccio looked like he was about to lose it. His teeth were clenched, and his face was so red it matched the neon bar sign. “Damn slut,” He muttered under his breath, watching you rub and grind all over his teammate. He didn’t know whether to be angry with you or Melone, since he seemed to be enjoying this more than you were. Melone continued to explore your body with his hands, until he ran his fingers up under the edge of your skirt in a risqué move. This was the breaking point for Ghiaccio. He couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up quickly, knocking over the barstool he was sitting on. He stormed out onto the dance floor, eyes filled with pure rage. He grabbed your wrist so hard that it hurt, and dragged you away from Melone. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, troia?” He spat through clenched teeth. “What? I’m just dancing,” You said, looking innocently up at him through your eyelashes. He grabbed your wrist even tighter, making you yelp. He pulled you towards the club exit, and out into the parking lot. He pulled you over to where his car was, opening the passenger door and shoving you in. “Is this your way of trying to get my attention? Well, it worked. You wanted to make me jealous, I am.” He growled. “Damn slut. Practically fucking each other out there in front of everyone.” You almost felt guilty for a second. Had you hurt his feelings? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given you the silent treatment.” He said. “You’re… apologizing?” You asked, astonished. In all the time the two of you had been together, he had never apologized after a fight. It was always you that fixed things. “Yes, y/n, I’m apologizing. I’m sorry. I was angry, but I’m over it now. I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else. Especially a disgusting perv like him,” He said, clenching the steering wheel tightly. He leaned over the center console, grabbing your face with his thumb and his forefinger. He pulled it towards his, placing a hard, passionate kiss on your lips. You kissed him back just as hard, bringing your hands to his face to intensify the kiss. The windows were beginning to fog as the kiss got more heated.

“Let’s get out of here, baby,” You sighed between kisses. He nodded, starting the car. You hated fighting, but damn, did you love making up.

#ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #ghiaccio jojo #ghiaccio jjba #la squadra #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio headcanons #vento aureo #golden wind #vento aureo x reader #golden wind x reader #jojo #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #jjba x reader #jojo imagine #jjba imagine #jojo headcanons #jjba headcanons #requests open #anime #anime x reader #x reader #self insert #fanfiction #jjba fanfiction

[raspberriesandadventures]

hello! i hope you’re having a good day so far! :D i was wondering if i could request for some headcanons of la squadra reacting to the fem! reader who’s normally a bit quiet and introverted, but they eventually find out she’s got quiet a perverted mind? like anytime someone says something remotely dirty, she’ll snicker and mumble “that’s what she said!”. and whenever the reader’s watching a TV show and her favorite character (especially one she simps hardcore over) shows up on screen, she’s like “stop lookin’ so fine, you’re making me wanna strip off all my clothes and wait for you to come home so you can fuck me—” (not @ me putting myself on blast 😂😭) the only reason why the reader initially doesn’t show off her perverted jokes to the squad when she first meets them is because how serious their jobs are and they don’t have much time for jokes. plus, she wasn’t sure if any one of the members were comfortable with her making so many dirty jokes, so she just waits until she knows for sure they don’t mind. tysm! <3

Hello! Sorry for the wait! I hope you're having an amazing day!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

La Squadra W/ A Dirty-Minded Reader

Risotto

Risotto’s sense of humour is very subtle. He’s more reserved, his laugh and quiet and deep thing that can easily be overlooked.

The things he finds funny are caused by the unexpected – something unusual that happens with animals or people. He also appreciates satire and things that break the norm.

Your commentary is surprising to him. It’s not something he would have expected from you and it almost makes him chuckle the first few times you do it.

He’s happy you’re becoming more comfortable around the group and appreciates the display of your real personality. He often wishes more were honest with themselves.

Eventually you’ll say something outlandish enough that he won’t be able to keep his laughter soft and his deep, rich chuckle will be heard.

Formaggio

Formaggio finds entertainment in pretty much any and all jokes. Dad jokes, pervy comments, it’s all the funniest thing he’s heard to date.

He’s always got something new to chuckle about and he’ll gladly share with the entire group and any passersby. His loud and unabashed laughter draws attention.

The first time you make a comment, he’ll provide a barking laugh and demand you repeat yourself with a smug grin.

He’ll be your greatest ally in jokes. Anything you say, he’ll match and turn into a competition for the best commentary.

The two of you are a perfect combination for terrorizing those in the group who don’t find your humour enjoyable. Formaggio encourages you as much as he can.

Illuso

Illuso’s humour is borderline sadistic in many ways: teasing that oftentimes goes too far and whispered comments to try cause internal strife.

It’s not truly out of pure maliciousness and he often underestimates how harmful his remarks can be. He simply finds the reactions to be funny.

He takes a short second to realise what you’ve said in the beginning, tilting his head to watch you. He’ll need to see the others’ expressions with this.

He’ll respond to your jokes smoothly, adding in quietly against your ear, or teasing you about what you said at a later date.

There’s no way you’ll manage to get him to laugh properly with your comments but you can get him to chuckle which is as good.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto likes to pretend he’s got a ‘higher’ sense of humour. This is especially true when he’s surrounded by other members of La Squadra.

He understands jokes in operas and ballets and will always make sure others know this, though secretly, he finds dirty jokes funnier than some of his ‘sophistication’.

Your perverted mind will certainly surprise him and the first few times will be brushed off and ignored. He blames Formaggio for influencing you.

Expect to receive glares if your comments come at the wrong time or unimpressed stares at your commentary while watching a show.

You can make him laugh though and he will deny it until his dying day. It’s surprisingly simple. Just keep making remarks and eventually his façade falls.

Pesci

Pesci has a wide range of things he finds funny but he sometimes gets too flustered to laugh in front of others, worried they won’t share his opinion on the subject.

He doesn’t actively share his jokes or comments with the rest of the group so he understands when others don’t feel inclined to do so either.

When you make a dirty joke in front of him the first time, it genuinely startles him enough for you to notice due to his expression change.  

He’s genuinely happy that you’re becoming more comfortable around him and offers a customary laugh, even if he doesn’t find your comment funny.

You’d be surprised how quickly he picks up on your form of humour. He mimics it, telling you jokes that he thinks you’d enjoy when nobody else is listening.

Melone

Melone, in general, finds humour to lie more in subtle jokes – often rooted in topics that make little sense to those who don’t share his interests.

Medical and biological terminology, astrology, and other things. He doesn’t so much as laugh but instead prefers to chuckle beneath his breath.

When you make a dirty joke or comment around him, he’ll give a small huff to show he heard but will offer no other reaction.

He expected there to be a different aspect to your personality than the quiet front you put up and he’s fairly happy to see that it’s nothing irritating.

He does take note of the people you make the most commentary about, interested to see if your ideal fits into what your star signs and blood type say it should be.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio lies and says he doesn’t find dirty humour funny. He lies and says that he dislikes all forms of ‘stupid’ jokes.

The truth is that, while his favourites are videos of animals doing funny (though not getting hurt) things, he honestly can’t help but snicker at comments like yours.

The first time you make a remark about a television character, he turns red and snaps at you to not be ridiculous. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to lecture.

Your jokes will often invoke scowls if they’re said to others or blushes if they’re whispered to him. His irritated huffs are almost as funny as the situation itself.

He never admits to wanting to laugh at some of the things you say and demands that you need to focus on the situation at hand.

Sorbet

Sorbet’s sense of humour in unusual. It’s nearly impossible to narrow down even if you’re spending a great deal of time in his company.

He finds entertainment in sarcastic commentary and snarky remarks as long as he’s the one making them. He doesn’t appreciate it from others.

When you become comfortable enough to make comments around him, he will ignore them for the most part. If that’s what you want to do then he’s okay with it.

If you say something that’s too inappropriate in his mind, he’ll give you a look before continuing on with the rest of his conversation.

When you do get a real reaction from him is with your commentary on television characters. He’s the jealous type in all aspects.

Gelato

Gelato has a very mixed sense of humour and the more obnoxious or corny a joke is, the better he finds it to be. He laughs like a hyena and it’s infectious.

Pretty much any joke or pun with the right timing can set him off and once he gets on a roll, anything and everything becomes far more entertaining.

He always suspected that your sense of humour could be more perverted but he never knew for sure. He’s very pleased to be proven right.

There’s never a bad time to make a comment near him. He’ll find them funny no matter what, even if there’s a job going on at the moment.

He’s a natural compliment to anything you say, always knowing what to add on to get you to laugh just as hard as he is until your sides are aching.

#la squadra x reader #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #ghiaccio x reader #melone x reader #sorlato x reader #sorbet x reader #gelato x reader #sorbet and gelato x reader #melone #formaggio #prosciutto #ghiaccio #pesci #illuso #risotto nero #la squadra headcanons #sorbet and gelato #gelato jjba #sorbet jjba #melone jjba #illuso jjba #risotto jjba #prosciutto jjba #ghiaccio jjba #formaggio jjba #pesci jjba

[kattartsblog]

Happy Halloween!

I couldn’t decide to make it just canon La Squadra or just Fem!Squadra as chibis, but I was like “why not both?”. And that’s sort of the result for this piece.

#my art #halloween #jjba #la sqaudra #fem la squadra #risotto nero #melone #formaggio #illuso #ghiaccio #prosciutto #pesci #sorbet and gelato #sorlato #la squadra di esecuzione #暗殺チーム

[seiyasabi]

What would​ yandere​ Narancia, Pesci, Melone, Formaggio and​ Doppioreact fem darling​ who​ doesn't​ give​ much​ a​ shit about​ every​thing, especially yandere the​ stalker​.​ While​ she​ playing​ solitaire​ or​ jigsaw puzzle at​ night, he​ sneaked into​ her​ place​ to​ take her.

She​'s like.

"Take​ whatever​ you​ want but​ don't​ take my​ nintendo​ switch​.​ I​'ve worked hard​ for​ months to​ earned​ some money to brought​ it."

This is v funny to think about lol

Yan Narancia, Pesci, Melone, Formaggio, and Doppio x Reader Who Thinks They're Being Robbed HCs

Narancia

-Is like????

-"Babe, I'm taking you AND the Switch!!!"

-Will take all your valuables, bc he wants to use them too lol

-Will make u play games with him 24/7

Pesci

-Is concerned and flustered

-Took him weeks to build up the courage to take you

-Will awkwardly try to explain that he wants to take u home

-Ends up calling Prosciutto and having him help

Melone

-Laughs in ur face

-Will go on a long rant about how you AND your stuff belong to him

-You're like ???? by the end of it

-Will just snatch you up along w a sack of your belongings.

Formaggio

-Another one that laughs at you

-Will just collect your things, pretend like he's leaving, before drugging you

-Won't hesitate to take that as an inventation to take everything

Doppio

-Is stressed lmao

-Will leave everything of value that isn't like a prized stuffed animal

-Will buy you new stuff over the coming year to replace the stuff he left

#yandere jjba

[mink-place]

hello! hope you’re doing well so far 💕 ok, so i have this headcanon that la squadra didn’t exactly have the best lives prior to joining passione, and i was just wondering if i could have some headcanons of any of the members finding out that the fem! reader actually had a pretty normal and healthy past (ex: parents weren’t abusive/didn’t die when reader was a child, had good friends who she still keeps in touch with to this day [they don’t realize she’s an assassin tho, they just assume she has this high-paying job], and overall, never faced any traumatic events), but for some bizarre reason, ended up joining passione and being assigned to la squadra? reader also never brings up her past, but only because no one asks her about it. which member(s) would be like “wait, why tf are you in the mafia?!”, which member(s) wouldn’t say anything but are still curious, and which member(s) wouldn’t really care? ty!! <33

Hi! I'm doing well, thx for asking! This was a fun ask to do! (Also, most of my hcs are kinda scenarios and in this case the hcs are connected)

La Squadra reacting to a fem! teammate that doesn't have a traumatic past (or any reason to be in Passione)

Risotto Nero

Since he's the leader your first talk when you entered in La Squadra was with him, not really for any personal question, he didn't ask you why you where there, that isn't his business.

He wasn't interested in know why you were there, but he found out while on a meeting where Formaggio asked you about it.

You casually said that you really didn't had a bad childhood or any reason to be there, you just wanted.

He's a little confused, you're here for fun or something? Mafia's no game.

Even tho, he'll don't think much about it and won't mention it or make any comments, it's your life, do what you want.

Prosciutto

As same as Risotto's, he isn't interested in knowing why you are there, he just minds that you do your job right, your personal life is not his problem.

He was sitting next to Pesci on the team meeting when you were askes about why you where there.

You told Formaggio and everyone that you didn't have any reason to be on Passione.

Prosciutto was also confused and kinda annoyed, you were taking this as a happy fun experience? Are you that dumb?

Won't really confront you about it, is your business, if you want to be there, go ahead, just mind the dangers you'll face.

Pesci

He was curious about your past, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable or something.

He still tried to have personal conversations with you, like, he told you why he was there and also was very kind as he told you which members where the most easy to get along with.

When he got to knew that you didn't have a reason to be in Passione and you had a “normal” childhood (no drugs, no alcohol, no murders) he was a little worried, are you sure you want to be here?

He won't make you change your mind, but will mention that it's a “little” dangerous to be on a mafia, please be careful with this, don't take it lightly or something!

Formaggio

He's really curious to know everything about you, you're his new teammate, he needs to know if he can get along with you.

When he gets the chance, he straight ask you, and it was while on a meeting.

“I don't understand, then why the hell r u where?” he asks, you really don't have any reason? Are you okay?

He's shocked sure, it's not like ypu can consider the mafia a little activity to do on the weekends, it's something big. Are you sure you have think of it?

You gotta be kidding him, you are hiding something, maybe you don't want to tell him. He'll insist on you to tell him the truth, but you aren't lying!

He'll give up on a while, don't worry.

Ghiaccio

It gets a while to him to talk to you, he doesn't want you to think he's your “friend 'til the end”, no, he isn't interested on being friends with you, he just sees you as his teammate.

The only situations where he talks with you are when you are paired on a mission or on a meeting, afar from that, you ain't gonna get a conversation with him.

He was minding his business while on the meeting when he hearded that you where there just because.

He's annoyed out, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THERE?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?! (lol)

Ghiaccio's not gonna talk about it with you, but you can see that he's annoyed that you take your life so lightly.

Maybe if you get him angry on a mission, he'll slightly mention it.

Melone

He's the one to make you a lot of very personal questions, your blood type, your zodiac sign, your past, do you have a boyfriend?

So he already knew that you where there by yourself, he doesn't mind, you are already an adult, you aren't a baby, he's sure you know what you're into.

Will give you little warnings here and there, but nothing else, your life, your decissions, he ain't gonna and doesn't have the right to change anything.

Illuso

He isn't interested in you, you should be interested in him.

Illuso is too busy with himself to be asking you about yourself, he doesn't want to be friends with you and the only interaction you'll have with him is when he tries to humillate you or tease you.

But secretly, he got your archieve, where all your information is, he knows even your blood type, even if it's irrelevant information.

So he isn't surprised when everyone gets to know about your past, he already knew, and he doesn't care, do what you want.

Won't bring it on a conversation, it's not something important to him.

Hope this was what you asked for!

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba part 5 #la squadra di esecuzione #jjba vento aureo #illuso #melone #formaggio #ghiaccio #pesci #prosciutto #jjba risotto nero #illuso x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #pesci x reader #prosciutto x reader #risotto nero x reader #mink-place

[narancias-headband]

A Hand to Hold

Formaggio X Reader

After a sustaining a major injury on your first mission, you need some serious support from your teammate to make it through.

~2500 words

Fem!Reader

Lots of fluff (๑ˊ͈ ꇴ ˋ͈)

Warnings: Serious injury, blood, mild medical talk/procedures, needles, suturing a wound without anaesthesia, general discussion of pain. Don't treat a knife wound on your own, kids.

~~~

"Could I get a hand down here?" you holler out as soon as you pry the door open. You will your voice not to crack despite your poor condition, but you're only halfway successful.

Alright. So your first mission didn't go as well as planned. The knife jutting from your stomach makes that quite obvious. But at least you did your job, right? The target was now deceased, though more by the raw instinct of your stand than any conscious effort of your own. You'll have to make that sound more impressive when you report back to Risotto...

He hadn't wanted you to take this mission on, especially not on your own. Maybe he was right. At least you'd managed your goal. Your tenacity is how you ended up with a spot on this team anyway. You could spin this in your favor somehow. If only you could still think straight. Blood loss has made your mind hazy.

Speaking of... "Hello?" Your voice shakes as you call out again, finally shutting the door behind you. "Anyone? I could really," you stop and wince in pain as you take another step forward, "Really use some help here."

You look down and notice the drops of blood that have spattered on the floor below you. Shit... If this knife didn't take you out, surely Prosciutto would later.

Finally, you hear steps speeding down the stairs. You try to heave a sigh of relief, but the breath hitches in your chest. Ouch. At least help was on the way.

"Oh, fuck," Formaggio hisses under his breath as soon as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. He rushes to your side and pulls your arm around his shoulders, quickly pulling most of your weight onto himself. "How'd you get yourself into this mess?"

You give him a halfhearted smile, not really wanting to fess up to that.

He starts hauling you into the living room and shouting orders loud enough to be heard throughout the entire building, commanding the team regardless of where they happened to be at the moment. "Melone, I'm gonna need some painkillers. Ghiaccio, you're gonna need to stitch this up." He curses under his breath as he tries to situate you on the couch without hurting you further. "And anyone else get your ass to the living room. We might need some extra hands in here."

You're now laying across the couch with Formaggio hovering over you. His usual jovial expression is entirely gone, his face twisted into a fearful grimace. Sure, you hadn't known him that long, but you'd never seen him nearly this distressed. Or really, distressed at all, for that matter.

The usually easygoing Formaggio was, in fact, currently losing his mind. Even he couldn't remember the last time he had been this stressed. And scared. He was terrified of losing you. He'd never admit that, of course, being so concerned for someone he'd only known a few months would likely be frowned upon in this line of work but... He couldn't help it. Ever since joining the team you two had just clicked. He'd sworn to himself, however foolishly, that he'd work his tail off to keep you safe.

A gloved hand was thrust into your face. "Open up," Melone purred, somehow still finding the ability to be flirtatious in such a dire time. You comply and he pushes two small, white tablets past your lips. You don't know what they are, but assume they're some sort of powerful painkillers, probably illicit.

Melone presses a glass of room temperature water to your lips and you take a sip and try not to think about whose cup you're drinking from. "Good girl. Now swallow," Melone continues, not finding anything wrong with making innuendos at your expense, even despite your condition.

A warm hand smoothes over your hair. "That's it, sweetheart," Formaggio says softly, "You'll feel better soon." He continues patting your head and ruffling your hair, trying to calm both you and himself.

"I can't work with that fuckin' knife in the way," Ghiaccio growls, slamming a large case onto the coffee table. "Or that shirt either."

"I'll handle it," Formaggio snaps over his shoulder. He stands up straight again, stepping closer to your midsection. "I'm sorry, sugar," he says softly, catching your eye for just a second before directing his attention to the knife in your gut. He gingerly places his hands on the ripped fabric of your shirt that had been ingloriously sliced before gripping tightly and ripping the fabric off of your body. The air of the room was cold on your skin, and you'd be embarrassed about being half clothed if you had had your wits about you, but you were a bit more concerned about something else at the moment.

"Alright," Formaggio's voice shakes, the nerves fully getting to him. He stares intensely into your eyes. "I have to pull this knife out, okay?" You nod once, not knowing what to expect. "It's gonna hurt like hell, but I gotta do it." He's not really making you feel any better.

He slowly wraps his fingers around the handle of the knife, holding on tightly and bracing himself for what he has to do. His stern grimace falters for a moment as he's struck with an idea.

He presses his free hand to your cheek. "You ready?" Another unsure nod. Formaggio shakily smiles at you, trying his best to make you feel better.

"Alright, sweetheart. On three," he takes a deep breath before beginning to count. "One. Two. Three." As soon as the final number has left his lips, Formaggio is a flurry of movement before you. He leans in close, his face looming ever closer as he seeks to close the space between you.

His lips lock with yours and it's electric. You're still keenly aware of the swift motion of the blade being pulled from your flesh, and it hurts like hell, but you're sure the distraction is working wonders.

Despite how hazy everything was amidst the pain, blood loss, and shock over being kissed, you're quite sure the kiss lasted much longer than it took to dislodge the blade. As soon as your thoughts catch up and you try to kiss back, he pulls away.

He smiles softly at you and holds up the knife, your blood still dripping down the blade. "Quite the souvenir, huh?" You start to smile back at him but are startled by a bark from Ghiaccio.

"Out of the way, lover boy," he hisses, pushing Formaggio aside, "Can't do shit with you in my way." Ghiaccio begins to clean your wound as best he can with his limited supplies and experience. You wince at each new touch.

Formaggio steps closer to your head once again, lowering onto his knees to bring himself more level with you. "You're doing great," he whispers. You smile at him, but it's short lived as a new type of solution stings your wound, causing you to wince once again. At least it must be working, right?

"Alright," Ghiaccio huffs, finally giving you a respite from his touch. He turns around and rummages in the big first aid box he'd set behind him on the table, and pulls out a small white packet and some type of surgical instrument. As he pulls the white package open, you see a needle glinting in the light. You swallow hard. This won't be fun.

"Since I have to stitch you back together now, I'd appreciate it if you didn't move," Ghiaccio growls, glaring at you. You give him a concerned look to which he responds, "And yes. It's gonna hurt."

You turn your gaze to Formaggio, hoping he'll have more reassurance. He gives you a strained smile. He knows just how bad it does hurt. You wonder for a moment why your team couldn't get their hands on any type of numbing medication or anaesthesia, but your thoughts are cut short by a needle piercing through already sensitive skin.

"Hoooly fuuuck," you wheeze out, caught off guard by the tugging, stinging pain. Tears prick the corners of your eyes as you tense up and try to keep your body still.

The needle pricks and tugs at your skin again as Ghiaccio grumbles, "Getting tense is also unhelpful. Just sit still." His words are sharp and punctuated, similar to the needle that he had once again plunged into you.

Formaggio speaks again, his voice soft and comforting, pulling your attention back to him. "Just relax, okay? I know it hurts." He reaches out and grabs onto your hand. "But you're strong. You can do this."

You find a small amount of solace in his reassuring gaze, but it really doesn't do much to dull the shooting pain each time Ghiaccio weaves the suture back through your flesh. You grip tightly onto Formaggio's hand, tight enough that his fingers squish past each other and you worry that you had hurt him.

Formaggio simply smiles and applies a soft pressure to your hand. "Yeah, you got it. Just hold onto me. Squeeze my hand and let the pain-" he pauses and cringes as you squish his hand tightly again, "just melt away."

Tears threaten to spill as the pain seems to continue to crescendo, but you try your best to focus on Formaggio's reassurances. His words go in and out of focus, but his gaze locks your attention. The warm, caring, almost loving gaze he has you pinned with almost knocks you as breathless as the awful sensations wracking your body.

You let your mind wander for a moment, a welcome distraction to the pain, thinking about... Well... Just thinking about Formaggio. How you'd developed a crush on him practically the first night you'd showed up at La Squadra HQ. His charming, carefree, flirtatious attitude had won you over almost instantly...

"And this is my room," Formaggio gestured with a smile. He had volunteered to show you around the place and spoke about each room with a playfulness that was dampened a bit by your unfamiliarity. "If you hear any, uh, weird noises, it's probably just my cat. He's a bit of a nuisance." He let out a good natured chuckle.

Your eyes widened. "Wait... A cat? You have a cat?"

Formaggio nodded and grinned at your excitement. "Yeah, sure do. He usually just hangs out in there, though."

You looked Formaggio dead in the eyes and told him, as seriously as you could muster, "I'm never leaving your room." You couldn't help but crack a small smile at the joke.

Formaggio laughed as his smile began to shift. The sweet smile slid into a more mischievous grin as he leaned in closer to you. "I think I could get used to that."

You looked into his eyes and swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks go red. What a welcome.

And the rest was history. You smile slightly at the memory. With each day you had started to treasure his warm camaraderie more and more. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one around here who'd give you the time of day; the only one who seemed to really care. Soon enough, you found yourself starting to really care about him.

For so long you had thought that there was no way he could share those feelings for you... But after today... Maybe...

You were quickly thrust from your thoughts as Ghiaccio finished up the job, tugging the threads so that your skin slid back together. The sensation made you whimper.

"Almost there, sugar," Formaggio reassures, "Home stretch. You'll be done any second now." His thumb glides back and forth across the back of your hand.

Finally, the searing pain lets up and Ghiaccio stands up straight once again. "Alright, I'm finished." He wagged a finger at you. "Be careful now. Don't go and fuck up all my hard work."

You nod resolutely. You'd try your damndest to never have to feel that again. Satisfied with that answer, Ghiaccio packs up the first aid kit and wanders out of the room.

Soon enough, you're left alone with Formaggio. Your hand still grips his with a notable intensity, not having fully loosened your death grip on his fingers.

"Can I have my hand back?" Formaggio asks with a small chuckle. You blush, suddenly feeling embarrassed about all of the incidents of the past 20 minutes or so.

"Y-yeah," you mumble, releasing your grip, "Sorry."

"No problem," he replies, trying to subtly rub the feeling back into his fingers, "Always happy to be of service, madam." He gives you an exaggerated wink. You laugh, but can't help but avoid his gaze.

He stands and stretches his back and you slowly, and painfully, sit up.

"Alright, let's get you to your bed. You need your rest." Formaggio helped you to your feet before lifting you off of them and picking you up fully. He carries you bridal style to your room, his forearm warm on your still bare back and shoulders.

He sets you gently onto your bed. The lack of contact makes you feel colder than you had before, and you shiver slightly.

"I'll be right back," Formaggio states as he quickly steps out.

He's gone for much longer than you'd anticipated. You think of getting up to put a shirt on, but decide you'd rather just lay down. The pain meds were finally starting to kick in, allowing you to get somewhat comfortable while propped up on your pillow.

"Knock knock," Formaggio calls out before reentering your room, hands full of various things. He began setting things down on your bedside table as he spoke. "I brought you some water and I warmed up some of that leftover soup from the other day. You should eat something, you lost a lot of blood." He turns his attention back to you. "And I brought you this," he holds out one of his t-shirts, "I thought that something looser would probably be more comfortable with all those stitches."

You reach out to grab it from him, but he pulls his hand back. "I got you," he says, reaching behind you to help pull you back into a sitting position. He instructs you to raise your arms and you comply before he slides the shirt over your torso. It's loose and comfortable and it smells like him.

"Thank you," you say softly, feeling the pink tinge return to your cheeks.

"Of course." Formaggio smiles brightly once again. He ruffles your hair softly before stepping towards the door. "I'm gonna give you some time to eat and rest and unpack everything that happened today, alright? I gotta clean up before Prosciutto offs us both." He laughs softly at his own joke. "And if you need anything you let me know. I'll take care of you."

#i hope i made the warnings clear enough?? idk medical/injury stuff like this doesnt bother me much #im desensitized lmao i see a lot #also we back at it with the bad titles lmao #anyway heres my self indulgent maggi fic that i went insane and had to write it so fast and it went out of control #i love him so so so much #jjba #golden wind #jjba part 5 #la squadra #la squadra esecuzioni #formaggio #jojo formaggio #jjba formaggio #formaggio x reader

[p0intie-spril]

i fucking love the way u draw formaggio....u made him so sexy (in an asshole bastard way) i could stare at him everyday for 6 hours!!!

my ability to draw him has dissapeared omg idk how i did it before

and i dont remember if i ever posted that ms paint drawing of fem maggi

i love him very much hes probably one of my favorite villains i love him so much but his outfit and his hair is a nightmare to draw lol

#jjba formaggio #scribbles #i hate these scribbles #yucky

[jojolovenotes]

I'VE ACTUALLY HAD AN OC FOR HIM FOR A WHILE NOW.. but I've been too embarrassed to show hehe

Her name is Vino! (Get it. Wine and cheese. I'm so smart) She's like the fem fatale of La Squadra and wears pretty dresses and seduces her contracts (and Maggi). Aesthetically she seems like she'd pair better with Pros and that's what confuses the rest of the team lol. They give off big Roger and Jessica Rabbit vibes. Which Vino's design is partially inspired by!

OOOOH! OC reveal! Hehe… but omg VINO!! I love that it’s the perfect pairing for Formaggio hehe. I love that omg I’d love to hear more about Vino if you ever feel like sharing more about her 💖

#received transmission ✨ #ships: Formaggio #the-illiterate-pirate

[blindbeholder]

A guide to how ludicrous the part 5 names sound in Italian:

Giorno = Day

Giovanna = fem version of Giovanni (first name being used as last name

Buccellati = Christmas cookie

Leone Abbacchio = Lion Lamb

Guido Mista = Delinquent Mixed (associated with salad)

Narancia = Orange (The fruit specifically)

Panna Cotta = Pudding (even weirder squished into one word)

Fugo = Airstrike (specifically via balloon)

Polpo = Octopus

Zucchero = Sugar

Sale = Salt

Una = One

Pericolo = Peril

Formaggio = Cheese

Illuso = deluded

Prosciutto = Ham

Pesci = Fish

Melone = melon

Ghiacchio = Ice (guess what his powers are)

Tiziano = Titan (italian state)

Squalo = Shark (guess what his powers are)

Carne = meat

Vinegar Doppio = Vinegar Double

Rissotto Nero = Black Rice (specific dish)

Cioccolata = chocolate

Secco = dry (like wine)

Diavolo = Devil

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jo