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#GUYS I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING
pippuns · 1 year
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pre-transmigration cumplanes because they are the most divorced guys who never met
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redundantz · 10 months
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Ancient Loz AU Story
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10,000 years before the events of BOTW the Princess of Hyrule and the Hero who wields the sword that seals the Darkness first fought off the Calamity. With the help of the Sheikah, Guardians, Champions and the Divine Beasts. However, the hero and her best friend; the Prince of the Gerudo, were now missing. The only one to return from the fight was the Princess… Bloodied and bruised. She emerged from the castle alone. No longer the energetic, and free spirited person she used to be. Now, she is filled with a sole dedication to her Kingdom. But cold, and filled with deep sorrow. She orders the Sheikah to create shrines to train the next hero.They prepare the towers, store the Guardians under the castle till they are needed. Research started on the slate where it can be used for building infrastructure and even battle. Anything to help prepare for another Calamity.
The Gerudo Prince wasn't seen again and the heroes identity was forgotten But, the Royal blood of Hylia lives on….
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Link is from a traveling caravan. His family has blood from the ancient Zonai tribe. He travels with a decent size troupe along with his sister, father and grandmother.
He meets Zelda during a festival where he was entering an archery contest in castletown. Zelda, who was disguised as Sheik, was also entering. She beat him at the contest(barely), but was extremely bothered by how good he was.
The festival goes on for about 3 days and at the end there is the sword ceremony where all the people coming of age(18) can attempt to pull the sword. She was presiding over it and witnessed him pull the sword and his whole life change. Not long after they meet officially and Link is appointed as her Knight; She introduces him to Ganondorf, her best friend from childhood.
And the chaos and comrade-ere ensues~
Over 3 years they travel, train, fall in love and wait for the day when the evil is supposed to show itself. With no sign of the great evil, they start to relax a bit. But that is when it strikes. Ganon travelling by himself at this time. Explores a cave in the Gerudo desert and encounters something ominous. Whispers in the dark speak to him and his fears and wants and his distaste for the King of Hyrule…. The voice is familiar, much too familiar, and before he can fight back it consumes him. When he awakes he is alone. He isn't instantly ‘evil’ but over time it twists his thoughts and actions. His closest friends and mother grow concerned. He becomes harsher and radical. Cruel. During a secret meeting with the King, Ganon assassinates him. Zelda happens upon Ganon covered in blood. She thinks he's hurt and is concerned by his behavior the past year. He snaps. He tells her every dark thing he has been thinking, and that he killed her father. In shock, and devastated, she can’t move as Ganon is about to strike her. But Link manages to get to her in time because the master sword was glowing, something he has never seen before but an instinct so old took over him. He races to escape with her. Ganon takes over the castle. But only as a steward because the King and the Princess are nowhere to be found. No one is the wiser to his malevolent plots. Yet. He knows she has to act fast since Zelda and Link escaped.
Zelda and Link make it all the way to Kakariko Village and Impa and they are all Informed that the Calamity is upon them. No one can believe it is their Ganondorf who is doing this but it is undeniable. They grieve, but they must act fast. With the help of the Sheikah they gather the guardians, monks and send word to the Races and Champions to prepare for battle. Zelda listens as Link hums an old Zonai Lullaby his mother used to sing to him. And it makes her remember something she read about. A story about there being an ancient Zonai device below the castle that would help defeat the Demon King.
Impa knows the tunnels She can help them sneak in. So they prepare to infiltrate the castle.
Under the castle they find the Zonai Artifacts that were left behind for sealing the great evil.
Ganon's followers saw them enter however and informed him. Knowing this is his chance he stops all pretenses and releases his power. Unleashing a mob of monsters and a cloud of malace into the castle and across Hyrule. But the Champions and Shekah are prepared to meet them.
Looking around for any clue. Trying to think of anything they read or that Link heard from his family that could be used to turn on the sealing jewelry. They don’t know how to activate it, but Ganon is going to be upon them soon as they had to fight through hordes of monsters beforehand.
Out of the dark behind them he emerges.
Zelda and Link manage to avoid the surprise attack. They both go on the defensive. They fight and try to reason with him. They can’t believe this is their friend, their lover. The fight is tough, because they all know each other's moves after training together for years along with the emotional turmoil. Zelda tells Link he needs to figure out how to activate the artifact if they are to succeed. She will hold him off. But by this point they are both exhausted.
Ganon manages to cut Link, spraying blood over the floor and the statue. Link falls to the floor and Ganon towers over him ready to strike him down, but Zelda blasts him away. Ganon turns his attention to her. Annoyed with her meddling and manages to land a blow on her also. Cutting the tip of her right ear off.
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The statue lights up from the blood. The blood of a zonai. That  was another part of the Lullaby from Links family Zelda realizes. The Jewelry glows and expands before flying off the wrists of the statue to Link. He is surrounded by a green glowing light that blasts Ganon and Zelda back. The bands constrict around his arms and legs disintegrating the clothing underneath. He screams. Zelda watches on in horror as Link transforms before her. His skin is turning black and his bones and skin stretch until he is 6 ft tall. What did she get him into? This was supposed to help them what was happening… She is living in a nightmare. What else will she have to give up. She cries as she looks at him, feeling his pain and fear. His hair band she had given him falls from his hair. Rolling across the floor towards her. “..Zelda….” He says 
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She picks up the hair band and goes to him! But he is not really responding. He is restrained and struggling within himself. His head is filled with the spirits of the Zonai he knows what he must do…he knows this is the last time he will see Zelda and Ganon. To seal the Demon King he must sacrifice himself. He says the last part of the Lullaby to Zelda and she knows. This is it. She kisses him. Though a bit strange now that he's so tall and his lips are cold. Ganon is getting up across the cavern from them, laughing. He mocks them and their weak attempts at thwarting him. One last clash. Zelda manages to get his weapon from him and Link plunges his arm into Ganons chest activating the sealing power. Glowing green. They both freeze in place and all is quiet. Entombed under the castle. The malice and monsters disappear. Zelda cautiously goes up to them. She doesn't touch them lest she break the spell somehow. The only thing she does is grab the hair bangle that fell to the floor in the final fight. It was the one from Ganon’s hair. And she left for the surface.
Alone.
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Thanks for Reading! <3
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svgvru · 1 month
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okay but imagine subby dazai who loves to be called Princess …🙏🙏🙏
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admin ( posted for the first time in a while ) but like, ur so right nonnie omg. he'd be so cute! imagine him being his brat like self, pulling a couple of pranks, pushing buttons he knows he's not supposed to push, the usual. he'd play fight you, knowing damn well he can't win. he's a bit too frail, too thin and small compared to you. there's no way he'd win, but he tries regardless, whimpering when you pin him to the wall.
his right side his pressed firmly to the wall, one leg is keeping him afoot while the other is in your hold. his left side his folded due to your arms caging his leg to his head between your arms. he's completely trapped and under your control, his arms and legs of no use, just like he wanted of course. imagine slowly pushing into him, sighing at the way his walls feel. "you just have to be irritating, hm?" you grit your teeth, buck up into his hole, smiling at the way his dick slumps downwards due to gravity. "i thought you wanted to be my princess? well—then again, princesses tend to be bratty," you whisper, pressing sloppy kisses to his neck, "guess the slipper fits."
dazai whines at the nickname, his cheeks are reddend with blush as he takes your cock like a champ. his hazel eyes catch the way your cock bulges beneath his belly button, and he almost cums from the sight. "come on, princess. be as bratty as you need to," you coo in his ear, "'m right here."
a chuckle leaves your lips when dazai practically yells your name, muttering "mhm"s and "yesyesyes," over and over again. he's a cutie!
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itsjaywalkers · 2 months
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a lil smth under the cut for u guys (part 3) <3
(light nsfw)
part 1 part 2
“Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s decent enough, so it’ll have to do,” James says, and Regulus it’s too busy trying to keep his breathing under control to be bothered by the other man’s words. “Relax your shoulders a little, love.” 
“Don’t,” Regulus hisses, even though he isn’t sure himself if that response is because of the nickname, or James’ touch, or James’ closeness, or something else entirely. 
“Don’t what?” James asks, sneaking a hand up and massaging one of his shoulders until both of them sag. 
“You know what.” 
“I don’t even think you know.” 
Regulus huffs loudly, and hates that he can’t argue back. 
“Show me how you do a jab,” James requests, his hands returning to Regulus’ waist after one last press on his shoulder. 
Regulus clears his throat slightly, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden while he raises his right arm and gets ready to do what James asked. He only hesitates for a couple of seconds before doing the punch, not as confident as he’d usually be after having James criticise him so much. 
He knows he’s no expert. He isn’t even that athletic to begin with. But he still has a boxer brother, which means he’s definitely not as clueless as James is making him out to be. 
Maybe if it were someone else, Regulus would find it in himself to fight back, defend his knowledge and Sirius’ teachings. But, as it turns out, having a professional boxer watching you try to punch is an incredibly humbling experience. Especially one as mind-blowingly good as James. 
Not like Regulus would ever tell him that.
James hums. “Not bad,” he says, and really, it shouldn’t satisfy Regulus as much as it does. “It’s a bit too slow, though.” 
Regulus tilts his head back, in an attempt to look at the other man, but he barely lasts a second after realising how fucking close both of his faces are. 
His heart beats wildly in his chest. He can only hope James doesn’t notice. 
“How so?” Regulus wonders, so relieved to hear his voice sounds completely normal. 
“Jabs focus on speed over strength,” James explains calmly. “It’s a matter of overwhelming your opponent, rather than properly hurting. The punch has to be quick, and once the arm returns, it’s gotta go up, protect your face. Like this.”
He grabs one of Regulus’ arms gently, moving it forward and then back very slowly, to demonstrate how to do it, and then fast, jostling Regulus’ whole body with it. 
“See?” James murmurs, and he could swear that his tone has gone lower. “You don’t have to worry about being strong enough. It’s all about speed.”
“Okay,” Regulus replies with a tiny nod, doing his best to concentrate on what James is seeing, and not on all of the points where they’re touching. Or on how close James is. Or how nice he smells, despite all the sweat—maybe even because of it. “I think I get it.” 
“Yeah? Wanna try again on your own?”
Part of Regulus wants to snark back, argue that it’s only a stupid jab and James is just being picky because he’s a professional boxer and it’s not like there’s an actual science to throwing a punch. But having James holding onto his waist must be clouding his mind, because he just gives another nod, and does his best to replicate James’ movement and speed. 
“Yeah, that’s it,” James breathes out, and Regulus can almost hear his smile. “Very good, love. You’re a natural.”
“Oh, I’m a natural now?” Regulus huffs out, but it comes out more teasing than irritated. 
“Or maybe you just have a great teacher,” James adds playfully, accompanied by a squeeze on his hips. 
“You’re right, Sirius is pretty great,” Regulus responds with a shrug, relishing in the way James clicks his tongue. 
“But I’m better.”
“In your dreams, Potter.”
“Wait, what happened to ‘James’?”
Regulus feels heat rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
James chuckles way too close to Regulus’ ear, and his breath hits the side of his neck, goosebumps breaking all over his skin. Regulus has to swallow a very embarrassing and very needy sound before it makes it past his lips.
“C’mon, love, we were getting along so nicely. Don’t try to ruin it now.”
“You’ve finally lost it,” Regulus states, trying to laugh the whole thing off. It probably doesn’t work, though, considering how unstable he sounds. “There’s not a single universe in which you and I get along, Potter.”
“Liar,” James whispers. “I’m growing on you.”
“Whatever gave me away?” Regulus grumbles, sarcasm dripping from his words.
“The fact that you’re letting me touch you,” James murmurs, voice smooth and silky, feeling like a caress. “How you keep leaning against my contact, and catching yourself at the last second.”
Regulus’ breath hitches. “That’s—” 
“The way you’re not even arguing with me anymore. Not really,” James continues, unrelenting, his lips grazing Regulus’ earlobe and making his eyes flutter shut. “If anything, I’d even dare to say you’re flirting.”
“You’re delusional,” Regulus spits, too breathless to sound as furious as he’d like to. “The fucking audacity—”
“And,” James cuts him off, tone so frustratingly smug, “I bet you’re aching between those pretty legs of yours.” 
Regulus lets out an embarrassed noise, barely suppressing the urge to press his thighs together. 
“No,” he croaks out, shaking his head a little and face burning. 
“No?” James mocks him, pressing his smirk behind Regulus’ ear. “Shall we check?” 
One of James’ hands moves slowly, sliding from its place on Regulus’ waist to rest under his navel, fingers playfully caressing his waistband. 
Regulus hates how that mere touch is enough to turn his mind into static. To make his heart stutter in his chest, and the mess in his underwear almost unbearable.
“Potter—”
“No.”
Regulus’ eyebrows shoot up, and before he has the chance to ask, he feels James’ teeth at the side of his neck, nipping teasingly and dragging a fucking whimper out of him.
“What—?!” he begins, completely red in the face and attempting to move away from the other man for the first time since he allowed his touch.
James holds him tighter, bites down harder. “Behave, Regulus, or I’ll fucking make you.” 
Regulus doesn’t listen, despite how the tone of James’ voice makes him tremble like a leaf. He keeps resisting, an outraged sound leaving his mouth while his body betrays him and becomes even wetter. 
“Oh, you don’t get to play the clueless card on me,” James murmurs, his teeth giving way to a devilish tongue that turns Regulus soft and pliant, his attempts at freeing himself growing sloppy, lazy. “I always do my best to be patient, to respect your boundaries and control myself, but you’ve been a damn tease all afternoon, and I’m fucking done.” 
“What the fuck are you even—” 
“Enough,” James growls back, and it’s so commanding Regulus’ mouth snaps shut with a clack. 
There’s a beat of silence, and then James is laughing under his breath. “Good boy.”
It’s filled with mockery, bordering on mean, and yet, it still makes Regulus moan like a fucking bitch in heat, eyes rolling to the back of his skull and body going completely boneless. 
“Fuck,” James whispers, a mix between awed and devastated. “I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known. Is that what does it for you, baby? You wanna be my good boy?”
Baby. 
Baby. 
Baby. 
Regulus moans again, even though it’s weaker this time, but he still shakes his head, or tries to at least, holding onto the last traces of sanity and refusing to let James win whatever twisted game they’re playing. 
“C’mon, you were doing so well,” James mumbles, tongue licking up the side of his neck. “And you can’t fool me anymore. Not like you ever did, but still. I know you wanna be good for me, baby. Know you wanna please me, let me use you in whatever way I see fit.”
He tries to shake his head once more, but somehow, his brain gets the order wrong and Regulus ends up nodding instead. 
“That’s right,” James coos, dropping a kiss on his skin, long and lingering. “Now, say my name, Regulus.” 
“James,” he gasps almost against his will, mouth moving before his mind can catch up. 
The other man groans and then attaches his lips to his throat immediately after, tongue pressing down as he sucks, the sting feeling absolutely heavenly. 
Regulus tilts his head to the side to give James more space, eyes hooded and limbs heavy, back coming to rest against James’ chest. 
“James,” he says again, without being prompted this time and the word almost sounding like a whine. 
“Fuck, you’re driving me insane,” James hisses against his neck, peppering the skin with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue and teeth mapping out Regulus’ skin. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been dying to do this.”
Regulus whimpers, hands moving on their own volition and reaching behind him until they bury themselves into James’ messy locks. He pulls, a bit harsher than intended, but before Regulus can manage to apologise, James is moaning loudly, the vibrations on his skin making him shiver. 
He pulls again, and James bites down on his throat hard enough to leave a mark. Regulus doesn’t have it in himself to reprimand him, or to tell him to stop. His brain is unable to focus on anything that isn’t James’ mouth working down his neck. 
“We could’ve been doing this ages ago if you weren’t so fucking stubborn,” James sighs, lips caressing his exposed shoulder and dragging another obscene noise out of Regulus. “I knew you wanted it. I knew you wanted me.”
“James—” Regulus pants, apparently unable to speak anything else apart from the other man’s name. 
It’s kind of embarrassing, how pliant a couple of kisses and a few dirty comments can make him. Regulus isn’t usually this easy, especially not in bed; he likes having a modicum of control, always ready to remind his partner that he doesn’t enjoy being bossed around. But, and as much as he hates to admit it, James knows what he’s doing. 
Although, maybe it’s not even a matter of skills. Maybe it’s simply that it’s James, and despite how much he’s tried to deny it, he’s been desperate for him almost since the moment he laid eyes on him. 
“God, baby, you taste divine,” James grunts, sucking on his collarbone almost at the same time that his fingers dip into Regulus’ waistband. They don’t get very far, and it’s more of a playful contact than anything else, but his breath still hitches. “Can’t wait to put my mouth between your legs.”
Regulus makes a keening sound, hips twitching, and James chuckles cruelly against his shoulder.
“You’d let me, right, baby?” James goes on, the hand that had slipped inside the basketball shorts changing its course and travelling up up up, until they’re caressing Regulus’ chest, following the shape of his scars. “There’s no point in pretending you’re not fucking gagging for it at this point. Just look at you. Look at you. I bet you could come from this. From me marking you up while I whisper in your ear.”
“N-no,” Regulus huffs, blinking furiously and doing his best to break out of his daze. “You’re too—too full of yourself. This isn’t enough, it could never be, and I—”
“Not enough?” James questions, stopping his ministrations. Regulus bites his tongue to stop the protest at the tip of his tongue. “Is this your way of asking for more, baby? Because you’re gonna have to do better than that. I don’t listen to brats.” 
Regulus wishes he could scoff, elbow James in the stomach so his touches stop clouding his mind and tell him to fuck off. Maybe even show him how well he can throw a stupid punch. 
But his body isn’t listening to his mind. It doesn’t care about what Regulus truly wants. Or what he’s been telling himself he wants, at least.
That’s why when he parts his lips, none of the curses he’s been preparing come out. Instead, there’s only need and lust. “Please,” he whimpers, closing his eyes tight momentarily. “Please, James, I—I just—”
James shushes him gently while circling a nipple, Regulus’ toes curling inside his toes and cunt clenching around nothing. “Oh, baby. It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you so well. Give you exactly what you need.”
“Yeah,” Regulus exhales, hands spasming around James’ curls. “Please.” 
“Gonna let me fuck you, baby? Let me finger you nice and open, so you can get ready for my cock?” 
Regulus moans and nods and thrashes around, one of his hands slipping from James’ hair just so he can grab one of James' by its wrist, pushing his arm downwards and hoping to get some relief where he truly needs it. 
James stops right before he reaches his waistband, a cocky grin curving against Regulus’ skin. 
“Well, well,” James breathes. “Aren’t you a needy little thing.” 
“C’mon,” Regulus complains, uncaring of how childish he sounds. He feels too fucking drunk on everything James to be able to think about anything else apart from getting off.
James laughs again, because he’s mean like that, and Regulus can already feel some tears prickling at his eyes out of frustration.
“You have to tell me what you want, Regulus,” James says, and his voice is so damn casual it actually hurts. “This won’t work otherwise.” 
There’s no this, Regulus wants to snap back, but then James is pressing nearer, until Regulus can feel the outline of his hard cock against his ass. It makes him gasp and push back against it, really pleased by the little hiss James lets out at the pressure.
“See what you do to me, baby?” James whispers, dragging his lips over his shoulders, the side of his throat, behind his ear. “We barely did anything, and yet I’m so fucking hard it’s actually painful. You’ve no idea of how many times I’ve jerked myself off to the thought of you. Wishing it was your hand instead. Your mouth. The inside of your cunt.” 
Regulus’ knees shake, a mewl escaping his parted lips, and James’ grip on him turns even stronger. 
“I bet you’ll feel all tight and warm around me,” James goes on, tone husky, words dripping with so much desire it makes Regulus light-headed. “Make the sweetest sounds, too. I used to think you were too uptight and that I needed to fuck the stubborness out of you, but it turns out that you’re real fucking dirty, baby. Grinding back against my cock and opening your legs the moment I praised you a little. Oh, if they could see you now, baby. Big bad scary Regulus Black. Reduced to a pathetic, whimpering mess.”
“Shut up,” Regulus grits out, but he doesn’t stop rubbing his ass on James’ cock, or pulling at James’ wrist insistently, in an attempt to get his hand inside his pants. “You’re all bark and no bite. Spent all these months telling me everything you wanted to do to me, and now that I finally give you a chance, you’re only teasing and babbling in my ear.” 
“Good try, baby, but you should know by now that that attitude of yours only turns me on.” 
“Yeah? Then how come you’re not fucking me yet, huh?” 
James’ other hand, the one that hasn’t stopped gripping Regulus’ waist for a single second, lets go and climbs up, taking a hold of Regulus’ chin. James uses it to tilt his head back, forcing their gazes to meet, and Regulus despises how he feels himself get slicker at the flash of danger on James’ gaze, the sharpness of his smirk. 
“God, the mouth you have on you, baby.” James cocks his head to the side, considering, and he grips his chin even tighter. “So fucking filthy. And so pretty when you beg.” 
“I don’t beg,” Regulus murmurs back, aware that it’s a lie. He still narrows his eyes when James barks out a laugh. 
“Yes, you do. You already have. And you will do so again, if you want to come.” 
“I don’t need you for that. I can just—just walk out of here, leave you hanging and get off all by myself—”
“No, you can’t. I’m sure you’ve also jerked off while thinking of me, right, baby? All that tension, all that repression, I know it took its toll. Did you finger yourself slow and deep as soon as you got home after our interviews? Came with my name in your mouth?”
Regulus only glares at him, not even trying to defend himself. What’s the point, when James can see right through him? Lying won’t do him any favours. 
“You did,” James states, ridiculously pleased with himself. “You’re not gonna go and waste this chance over your wounded pride, baby. Argue all you want, but we both know you’re not going anywhere. Not when you’re practically drooling at the thought of taking my cock.”
“Don’t act like you don’t want it as much, if not more, than I do,” Regulus grumbles. 
James shrugs, leaning forward and forcing Regulus to do the same. Until their noses are grazing each other, breaths intermingling. 
“Never said otherwise,” he retorts with ease. 
“Then what the fuck are you playing at?”
“Nothing, really. Just waiting for you to tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you, baby, I swear. You just gotta ask.” 
Regulus purses his lips, but James does sound sincere, and at this point, it’s not like he has anything else to lose. It’s too late to try and save face, and his dignity, or whatever was left of it, took its leave the moment he allowed James to get this close. 
Besides, he wants this. He wants James. Has done so for a while, probably since the very beginning, and not even he has this much self-restraint.
“Fuck me,” Regulus says in a soft exhale, watching the way James’ pupils eat at his irises. “Please, James, fuck me. I need you inside me, it’s—fucking unbearable, really, and I’m gonna lose it if you don’t—”
“Yes,” James gasps out, nodding fast, moves turning erratic as he finally slips his hand under the shorts, under Regulus’ briefs. “Yes. Of course, baby, anything you want, I’m—shit, you’re so—let me just—”
His fingers rub at his clit playfully, pulling a moan out of Regulus, before they continue their path down, until they’re running through slick curls, teasing at his entrance and marvelling at the wetness they find there. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re fucking dripping,” James whispers in wonder. Regulus can only whimper, pushing against his eager hand. “And it’s for me. All for me. Fucking hell, just—come here—”
It’s when James tilts his head up, clearly wanting to kiss him, that Regulus finally manages to go back to himself. That Regulus remembers where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s doing it with. 
Reality hits him with such harshness that the ground seems to tilt under his feet, leaving him breathless, and dizzy, and having to swallow down a wave of nausea. 
What the actual fuck is wrong with him? 
“Wait,” he squeals, James’ mouth already touching his. “Wait.” 
To the other man’s credit, he does stop immediately at Regulus’ words, pulling back and fingers freezing where they were exploring at his cunt’s entrance. 
Regulus takes a gulp of air, heart rumbling loudly inside his head, his brain screaming at him to get a fucking grip. 
“Reg?” James calls him, a worried frown twisting his features while his eyes roam all over his face. “Baby, you okay?”
“Don’t—” Regulus wheezes out, clawing at James’ arm until he gets the hint and takes it out of his pants. He can’t think with those thick, calloused fingers resting on his cunt. “We can’t do this. It’s—no, James, just—no.”
Something pained flashes in James’ gaze, before it disappears, being substituted by a harshness Regulus has to look away from. “Regulus—”
“No,” he repeats, a lot firmer this time. “I’m not—I can’t, James. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can’t.”
Regulus doesn’t stick around to hear James’ response, or watch his reaction. He moves away from him, legs shaky but still managing to support his weight, and he exits the ring without daring to glance back.
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bluegarners · 1 month
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ego of 10 year old versus terminal worry of a 25 year old
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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fickle-tiction · 1 year
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Seventeen Minutes
“You can’t ignore me forever, rich boy.”
Punch. Jab. Right hook.
“Something’s bound to get under your skin.”
Jab. Jab. Cross.
“Bruce. Bruce. Bruuuuuce.”
Punch. Jab. Left hook.
Bruce was minding his own business in the corner of the gym, taking his frustrations out practicing on a punching bag, when Arthur decided to mess with him. Apparently something about Bruce focusing on beating the crap out of a punching bag just screamed “see if you can break my concentration” to the King of Atlantis. He’d been trying to get Bruce’s attention for the last six minutes, and Bruce has yet to acknowledge his existence. 
It was time to step it up a notch. 
“Come on, show me that bat-smile.” This last statement was accompanied by a squeeze to Bruce’s sides. 
Jab. Cross. Jab.
“Oh come on!” Arthur continued goosing Bruce’s sides, as Bruce continued to lay into the punching bag unperturbed. “I thought for sure that would work.” He buried his wiggling fingers into Bruce’s armpits for good measure, but Bruce didn’t even pause in his assault on the punching bag. 
“Uh..what’s going on?” Clark was entirely unprepared for the scene that greeted him when he walked into the gym. Arthur was tickling his seemingly oblivious boyfriend, who was paying him no mind as he landed a kick on the punching bag.
“You’re dating a robot.” Arthur didn’t take his eyes off of Bruce’s face, searching for any sign of or reaction as he tickled Bruce from his armpits all the way down to his hips and back up again. Bruce’s movements didn’t falter as he landed another series of punches on the bag. 
Bruce grabbed onto the swinging punching bag to still it, heedless of the rhythmic squeezing at his sides. “Is it 9 already?” He asked Clark as he began unwrapping his hands. He allowed Arthur to pull him against his chest, inwardly amused when the Atlantean bear-hugged him from behind and wiggled his fingers over his stomach.
“Seriously?” Arthur grouched, jamming wiggling fingers into unresponsive armpits. He growled when Bruce merely craned his neck around, a single arrogant eyebrow raised in question. “It’s no fun messing with you if you won’t react.”
“Do you want me to hug you back?”
Clark steals both of their attention away when he barks out a surprised laugh.
“I’ll break you one day.” Arthur vows as he lets Bruce go and resists the urge to shove him and goad him into an actual fight.
“Mmhhmm.” Bruce hums, once again ignoring Arthur as he gathers his water bottle and discarded hand wraps before meeting up with Clark. “Where’s Diana?”
“Upstairs. I wasn’t sure if you were sparing down here, and I’d never be able to pull you two away if she saw you on the mats.”
Bruce let out an amused huff, which was as good as a chuckle from anyone else.
~~~
Bruce emerged from the bathroom in a pair of black sweatpants and a matching black t-shirt, toweling the water from his freshly cleaned hair. He stopped in his tracks when Clark and Diana’s conversation abruptly cut off and the two of them just stared at him, twin grins on their faces. Bruce stared back in silence as he finished toweling off. He refused to give them a curious look before he doubled back to the bathroom to drop his towel in the hamper. Alfred would kill him if he left a damp towel on any of the furniture---again.
“What are we watching?” Bruce asked, walking past the couch with the intention of settling into the armchair. He wasn’t surprised, nor putout, when someone caught his hand as he walked by and tugged him down onto the couch. He was only a little peeved that he wound up in the middle, but relationships were all about compromises; or so he’s been told.
“The new John Mulaney special.” Clark said as he brought it up on the screen, nodding his thanks to Diana when she dragged the foot rest closer to the couch so the three of them could use it.
“Stand up?” Bruce asked, lips turning down into their signature frown.
“Yeah, we thought you could stand to lighten up a little.” 
Bruce’s scowl just served to make Clark’s smile brighter. He was saved from responding by Diana yanking his arm up on into air while simultaneously pushing his chest back into the couch. Bruce allowed himself to be maneuvered without complaint, not that he could win in a fight against her anyway, too curious to see what her endgame was. It turned out she wanted cuddle up with her head on his chest, but Bruce had been sitting ramrod straight between the two of them. Now he was reclined back against the couch cushions, legs stretched out on the foot rest, with his left arm draped around Diana’s shoulders.
“Please, make yourself at home.” His actions betrayed his dry words when he gently ran the backs of his knuckles up and down Diana’s bicep.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Clark followed suit before Bruce could protest, grinning cheekily up at him when Bruce huffed through his nose. Once Clark hit play and their attention was back on the screen Bruce allowed the smile that had been trying to break free to make an appearance. 
~
They were five minutes into the standup special and Clark and Diana were already in hysterics. Bruce still had that soft smile on his face, but it had more to do with the joy radiating off his partners than it did with the man on the tv.
Seven minutes in and a new found of laughter started up again.
Eleven minutes in and Clark buried his face into Bruce’s side as he snorted he laughed so hard.
Fourteen minutes into the special and Diana was rubbing Bruce’s stomach as she laughed at the story being told.
Seventeen minutes into the standup special and Clark and Diana were side eyeing each other from either of side of Bruce’s chest.
“Do you want to watch something else?” Clark asked, pulling his attention away from the screen to look up at his boyfriend.
Bruce had been smiling at the tv until Clark drew his attention away. “Why would I want to watch something else? He’s great.”
Clark’s eyebrows nearly met his hairline. 
“You think so?” Diana asked as she casually rubbed Bruce’s chest.
“I’m watching it, aren’t I?”
“Well, yeah, but you haven’t laughed once.” Clark pointed out.
“Of course I have.”
“You’ve smiled.” Diana conceded. “But you have not laughed.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh.” Clark was clearly trying to sound like this was a thought that just struck him, but Superman was a terrible liar.
Ah, so that’s what they were talking about when he came out of the bathroom. He knew he had a tendency to be stiff and walled off, though not for a lack of trying but more for a lack of experience being open around people he cared about. He didn’t realize his partners had picked up on it, or that it bothered them. “I’m just not very vocal about it.” He said, taking great care to make sure his heartbeat stayed steady and his face remained relaxed. “But I really do think it’s funny.”
“I don’t know why I thought this would work,” Clark was trying very hard to appear innocent, and that set Bruce on edge. That look never meant anything good. That look usually meant that one or both of them were going to mess with him. “he didn’t even crack a smile when Arthur was tickling him in the gym.”
Bruce froze as Diana sat up straight, his arm dropping back down to his side at the sudden movement. “Now there’s an idea.” 
“He just said I didn’t crack a smile.” He was all too aware of Clark’s weight holding his right side down as Diana boxed him in on his left. He could turn his---sensitivity---off, just as he did with Arthur in the gym, but he knew from past experience that he had a harder time controlling this particular vulnerability when it was with someone he trusted.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t try for ourselves.” The look on Diana’s face would have sent him running, if he thought there was any chance it would do him any good.
“Was this the plan all along?” Bruce asked, eyes zeroing in on Clark’s hand that just rested oh-so-casually on his stomach.
“No, we really did think the standup would work.” Clark was now swirling his fingers across the thing material of Bruce’s shirt; Bruce sucked his stomach in as far as it would go, inhaling through his teeth as Clark passed over his hipbone.
“It will.” Bruce tried to recoil from Clark’s fingers that were slowly rippling across his stomach, but then Diana was grabbing his left hand and stretching his arm out along the back of the couch before pinning it in place with her own body. “I’ll start laughing out loud.” He vowed, eyes glued to Diana’s hand as she traced the bulging line of his triceps to wear it disappeared into his sleeve. He did not whimper when she snuck a single finger in to tease at the soft skin hiding under his shirt.
“Oh, we know you will.”
Diana started off in his armpit, drawing stubborn laughter out of him in a matter of seconds. “So you are ticklish?” She asked, dancing nimble fingers into the hollow of his armpit.
“N-no.” Bruce insisted, even as a hapless smile stretched across his face and a few deep belly laughs slipped past his defenses.
“So you don’t mind me doing this?” Clark asked, poking around Bruce’s torso at random. 
“Go right ah-ahead.” Bruce grunted and twitched, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling. Diana’s hand traveled lower, now tweaking his ribs and Bruce let out a “Hngh.” before he managed to clamp his mouth shut, burrowing as far back into the couch as he could, as though that would put any distance between the three of them.
“How about this?” Clark dug into his stomach, and Bruce’s composure went right out the window. He shouted in surprise, before dissolving into laughter, as he tried to curl forward into a ball, but he couldn’t actually lean forward with the two of them pinning him against the back of the couch. 
“Oh, I think he likes that.” Diana laughed, squeezing Bruce’s side and making his entire body jerk at the sensation. When he finally realized he couldn’t budge he changed tactics and brought his legs up to try and knock their hands away, but all that did was give them a new target to attack. 
“Do you like this, B?” Clark was squeezing the muscle above one knee, while Diana managed to get a hand under his thigh to tickle at the expanse of muscle there. Bruce was cackling. It was unclear if his face was red from the exertion, or if he was blushing, or both.
“Fu-hahahaha-ck!” Was all Bruce managed to get out, writhing in place as Diana switched from the back of his thigh to his stomach, to his armpit in the span of a few seconds.
“What about this?” Clark asked, finally leaving Bruce’s knees alone to switch to a new target. Bruce’s eyes snapped shut and frantic giggles started pouring out of him when Clark tickled at the thin skin of his neck. He renewed his efforts to get away, throwing his head side to side to dislodge Clark’s fingers.
“Nononono.” He snickered, squealing when Diana joined in on the other side of his neck. He would be mortified at the sound he just made if he could even begin to think straight. “Stop stop stop plehehehehease!” 
“I don’t think he likes that.” Diana laughed, backing off the moment Bruce pleaded with them to stop. Clark backed off as well, though not without a last squeeze to Bruce’s thigh.
The second he was released from his pinned position Bruce’s hands flew to his neck where they tried to wipe the residual tickly feeling away as the last of his laughter died down. His legs were drawn up close to his body as he calm down, and it was only after he caught his breath that he realized Clark and Diana were both looking at him with soft smiles on their faces. He felt blood rushing back to his cheeks, ears, and neck as he cleared his throat and uncurled from his uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. 
“I---uhm--”
“You didn’t even flinch when Arthur was doing it.” Clark marveled, running a hand through Bruce’s hair to push it off his forehead. He couldn’t help but laugh when Bruce balked and made an aborted movement to protect his neck again.
“Arthur’s not---it’s...different.” Bruce did not jump when Diana’s hand settled on his thigh, and he was not blushing as he tried to explain himself without sounding like a sap. “I can’t control it when I’m around---you guys.” 
“And why is that?” Diana asked, softly squeezing Bruce’s thigh when he elected not to answer her. The muscles under her palm jumped, even as he tried to remain stoic when he looked up at her.
“Oh my God,” Clark gushed, taking pity on Bruce and giving him an out. “You totally have a crush on us.”
That startled a laugh out of Bruce. “Yeah, something like that.”
“I totally have a crush on you both as well.” Diana said serenely, clearly trying to get a laugh out of Bruce as well. It worked.
“Let’s finish the show.” Bruce said, clearly trying to tamp down on his smile. He raised his arms back up so they could both settle in, only feeling slightly awkward as he did so, but that quickly passed when the both eagerly cuddled up to him.
Two minutes later Clark and Diana were laughing at the story being told on tv.
Four minutes in and Bruce’s laughter joined theirs as they started tracing idle patterns on his stomach.
Six minutes in and Bruce’s fingers were scribbling away at any bit of skin he could reach as he threw his head back and laughed.
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crybaby-bkg · 11 months
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Is it rude to say that you hadn’t expected Dabi to have had his own car? Not because of money issues, but because of a few reasons being: 1) he walks everywhere he goes, and 2) he’s quite literally never mentioned having a car nor a license before.
But you sit with him, in his old beat up bucket that jerks every time he hits a bump in the road, fighting for dear life. Your window doesn’t roll all the way up and bugs keep flying in, and it doesn’t help that Dabi is going 80 in a 55. You would hold onto the little life support grip thing above the window, but it looks like there hasn’t been one on the passengers side since he received the car.
You know he’s going this fast because, not only does it scare you, but it makes him hit the potholes a little harder. Which in turn makes your thighs and stomach and boobs jiggle more than usual. You should’ve known he had another motive when he insisted you ride with him to the convenience store, especially the one across town when there was 7 others he’d passed in the meantime.
But you’re too busy trying to keep your head from hitting the roof of the car, and your tits from falling out of your low cut shirt. Oh, this fucker must’ve had everything planned out the moment you walked through the door.
“Can you slow down a little?” You yell over the bass of his too loud rock music, one hand gripping his that rests on your thigh, the other holding your chest tightly. “My boobs are gonna fall outta my goddamn bra by the next pothole!”
But that only encourages Dabi, makes him throw a grin your way as he glances to how your chest jiggles again with another bump in the road. He laughs at your screech for him to look at the road, turning his eyes to comply with your request, his chin still turned in your direction.
“Well, sounds to me like I’m not going fast enough.” He teases, softly steering his wheel to the nearest pothole, a deep one. He snaps his eyes over to you the moment he hits it, smirking at your squeak when he sees your chest bounce out of your grip before you regain it again quickly.
He glances up to you, grinning even wider when you’re already glaring at him. He can’t help the squeeze of your thigh, blue eyes already zoning in on the next dip in the road for him to hit. He’s not stopping until your complaint becomes reality, and only then, he’ll find a convenience store.
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neoflames · 5 months
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I don’t watch Etho so I’ve kind of absorbed information through osmosis but there’s something going on with this guy so here you go
Word Count: 900+ (I can’t remember)
The Boogeyman’s Curse- Etho’s Internal Monologue
——
Etho is a boogeyman.
That is his task. Well, it is now. It wasn't always.
He's no longer the devil, the shadow cast over Cleo's life (although he knows she enjoyed the shade he brought with that assignment), competing with the sacrifice, the saviour that everyone holds so dear (he did once, he still does, but now he's fighting for his life, he doesn't have time for sentiment).
The privilege of allowing Cleo to do whatever she wants is gone, and now she's once again confined to the rules of a green life that she finds so miserable. Etho can't help but feel like he's failed her slightly, but people fail tasks all the time, so no big deal.
Now he's inflicted with this curse again. The boogeyman curse.
It isn't quite so lonely as it used to be. Etho can't say he misses the near-paralysing anxiety, or the fear you'll be found out and cast out of your safe place. There's others now. But there is still parts that he hates.
He hates that he's against his friends. He hates the twitch in his hand every time he holds a weapon, as if whatever he's holding is just as bloodthirsty as he's being compelled to be.
Etho hates that he had to die to get there and that he still has to kill to be a success, that he still has to kill to survive. But that is the nature of these games. Etho just thought he had more time to enjoy the simple joys of life before they were snatched away from him.
Cleo is the last green now, and he's both happy and sad about it- they deserve to live the longest out of everyone, he thinks. To enjoy the small things. But he knows she yearns for the chaos of the later part of the game, and he knows they have a target on their back now.
He thinks he did a good thing by letting himself get killed so she can escape, but he's still not sure if it's worth it. Etho isn't saying he didn't try to save himself, he did, but he could have tried harder. Maybe it was intentional, maybe it wasn't- that doesn't matter now.
He can't be friends with Cleo this session. He can't be friends with Grian this session.
Maybe he can't be friends with them at all, if one of the non-boogeymen is able to land a good hit that knocks him down to red.
He fears the day he can't be with them, but he knows it's approaching so as soon as he gets back, as soon as he's failed his task for lacking the bloodlust that compels him to betray those he cares for, Etho is going to make the most of his time with them.
He can only hope that he isn’t convinced by his newfound thirst for blood to do something he regrets.
Etho isn’t sure he could attack Grian or Cleo if he comes across them- every cell in his body might be begging him to kill, but he can resist (maybe) (hopefully). And if that means he fails, then so what?
Then again, he’s killed Grian before. Cleo’s killed him. He’s killed. He can do it if he needs to. He just doesn’t want to. Things are different now, it’s a different game, a different life.
He wants to protect them, to let them flee from his new ‘friends’, to hide them from danger, but he’s a runner. He’s not a protector.
Still, he’s not sure he can hurt them now that he holds them so dear, but he wonders if he can say the same for them.
Maybe they want him dead, maybe they’d be glad if he died now he’s a boogeyman, maybe they want to kill him themself, maybe-
Etho is dragged out of his thoughts by someone violently shaking his shoulder. “Etho?”
BDubs is shaking him, and he looks sideways. BDubs seems to be a tad more into this than most of the others. A handful of red lives are part of their ranks, and BDubs is one of them. Etho trusts BDubs not to kill him even after the session is over, but there’s just something unsettling about the gleam in his eye and the way his unhinged grin is slightly more terrifying than normal.
He responds with a quiet, “Hm?” as BDubs continues to shake him.
“You’re spiralling again. Calm down, we have stuff to do!” Etho blinks as BDubs finally lets go of his shoulder.
“How did you-“ BDubs cuts him off with a snort of laughter.
“Please. I’ve known you since forever, I know when you’re overthinking.” His friend says, his smile becoming annoyingly smug but also somehow so much less unsettling.
Etho nods quietly. “Oh- uh, yeah, sorry, my bad. Let’s- kill some non-boogeymen.” He stares up at his home, pausing to cast another glance at BDubs. Sometimes he wonders if BDubs knows him better than he knows himself. It wouldn’t surprise him.
But that’s not important. Now he has to keep his friends safe.
Etho tries to ignore how BDubs is watching him eagerly, clearly happy to be on the same side again (although that’s never really changed, it’s just official again after all this time).
He dreads to think what might happen if he has to choose between the people who he’d die for and the person who’s died for him.
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Link
all fluttering and dancing in the breeze
🍃written for @nobamaki-bigbang🍃
“Great! Okay, so I’m assuming we all know how to play baseball, right?” Maki asked.
Everyone was nodding, and Nobara was about to scoff and say duh, was about to proudly announce that she was actually a fantastic baseball player. But…
But then she glanced at Maki—sweet, gorgeous, Maki with a determined fire blazing in her eyes—and she had an idea. A terrible, devious, but quite possibly genius idea.
“Um, actually,” she spoke up, much louder than necessary, “actually, I, uh… I don’t know how to play baseball.” She fluttered her eyelids and smiled shyly, grabbing a strand of her hair and twirling it around her fingers as if she were the epitome of innocence.
[or: nobara pretends that she doesn't know how to play baseball so she can spend time/flirt with maki]
🍃11,157 words | nobamaki🍃
🍃art on tumblr here & here🍃
🍃art on twitter here & here🍃
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thevoidspeakz · 2 years
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They were in Mike's room.
The faint glow of the sunset outside poured into the room, leaving everything in a soft, dreamy light.
Mike and Will sat in a comfortable silence, laying on opposite sides of the bed, just looking at each other.
Words didn't need to be spoken between them.
Just being together was enough.
Will moved to cup Mike's face in his hands. Will loved Mike's freckles, and traced over them gently with his thumb. Mike loved Will's touch, and how gentle he was with him.
Just as Mike's eyes started to flutter closed, Will mumbled,
" you're so beautiful.... "
Mike smiled, a soft blush on his cheeks.
" I never thought I'd ever get the chance to do this.. To be like this with you... " Will said, his voice a quiet whisper.
" I'm sorry I made you wait so long.. " answered Mike, the slightest frown on his face.
" what..? " Will replied, voice impossibly softer, " no, hey, it's alright... it was worth it. every second of waiting was worth it, Mike. "
Will smiled lovingly. Mike buried his face in Will's hands, hiding a lovesick grin (and a very red face).
The sun went down. Everything felt light.
They were happy.
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twpsyn-who · 2 years
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I wish Steddie was popular during the whole Squid Game period just to have my TikTok full of draws of this scene with them
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ginger-grimm · 1 year
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Carmen's life so far has been anything but easy. Her parents have always kept her at arm's length, while somehow smothering her at the same time. They didn't let her be a normal child. But Carmen slowly begins to realize that she isn't normal, to begin with.
When her parents lock her in the basement after she displays powers, Carmen is found months later and eventually ends up in Indiana at Pennhurst Asylum.
On the night of her escape, she sees a little boy running through the woods of a town called Hawkins. The next day she meets his brother, who feels strangely compelled to protect her from whatever she is running.
For Carmen, it's out of the frying pan and into the fire, because suddenly, she is back to trying to figure out her powers and where she really comes from. The question is, where does she even start?
chapter zero - prologue
The rain fell heavily onto her trembling frame, the infant clenched tightly to her chest. It was freezing outside, and she had used the jacket the neighbor’s kid gave her to wrap up her baby and give her some kind of warmth.
Her tattered, thin white dress stuck to her skin more and more. A sudden lightning strike behind her made her flinch, the motion of which caused her daughter to start crying once again.
"Shhh," she said softly, gently rocking the baby in her arms. "I need you to be very quiet right now, Mija."
They were hot on her heels. She knew that even without turning around. They had the upper hand. Light, proper clothing, and even weapons. But she had the forest, and she knew how to utilize it.
"Shhh," she said again, rubbing her hand over the baby's back in a soothing motion.
She was hurting, but there was no time to stop and pity herself. She could do that when they were both safe and sound.
READ HERE: WATTPAD - AO3 - FF.NET
TAGGING: @waterloou @firsthorror @eddysocs @ocs-supporting-ocs @foxesandmagic @veetlegeuse @decennia @hiddenqveendom @arrthurpendragon @luucypevensie @richitozier @noratilney @jvstjewels @oneirataxia-girl @wordspin-shares @nejires-hado @endless-oc-creations
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moderncryptid · 1 year
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What You Don’t Think About
It’s weird. The stuff you don’t think about.
Sometimes Damien wonders if it’s because his life doesn’t really require thinking that he misses things from time to time. He’s learned that he can think something all day long, repeat it over and over to himself in his head or outside of it until the words stop meaning anything, and it doesn’t do much. In the end it’s all about the heart. His ability really doesn’t care what he thinks, or wants to think.
Which is funny in the ironic way that you laugh at to keep from crying. He can want to want something all day long, but at the end of the day, the only person his ability doesn’t touch is him. He can chase that wanting around in circles: wanting to want to be better, to not make someone stop what they’re doing and acknowledge him, to not influence someone so he can have a normal conversation for once. He can tell himself he wants it and try to grit his teeth and bear the discomfort because supposedly it’s good for him, and after all this time he’s willing to try it. To try anything. Even if it hurts. But at that first squirm of discomfort or feeling of awkwardness the people and world around him mold to accommodate it. To make space for all those messy feelings that pour out of him like an infection, changing everything they touch.
He hates how open it makes him feel sometimes; when a stranger turns to him with sympathetic eyes or offers empty words of comfort because he wanted them to. He hates that blank look in their eyes. That look of vague confusion after they’ve said it.
And he hates that it took him so long to figure out it was happening. That he was so desperately lonely that he was willing to turn to literally anyone, and so they turned back and told him everything he wanted to hear.
It happened first when he was sixteen and had just left home. This sweet-looking old woman in a bookstore was the first who expressed random sympathy. He’d gone into the store on a whim, hands in his pockets, probably looking suspicious as hell because he was so jumpy. It had been a long time since he’d been around so many people and even longer since he’d set foot in an actual store.
The only reason he’d ventured in at all had been because reading was one of the few things he actually liked to do, even before he got his ability. After, it had become one of the only things that didn’t change.
Damien was pretty sure it was the only thing that kept him sane at home after the electricity cut out. He’d read every book in that house twice over and when he’d seen the front window of the store it was the promise of comfort that drew him in. The fact that the store was mostly empty was what gave him the courage to actually step inside.
He was trying to ignore everyone from the moment he entered. Which meant that everyone pretty much ignored him. It wasn’t until he got distracted that it happened. Damien still couldn’t be sure if that was the reason the old woman suddenly took notice of him, or if it was the sight of the family nearby trying to affectionately wrangle their kids that made his stomach hurt. But she was suddenly next to him, all white hair and a big pink cardigan.
She put a hand on his shoulder, which made him jump, and took it off almost immediately. He should have realized what was happening when she put it back as she spoke to him, giving his arm an affectionate squeeze. He can’t even remember exactly what she said, but he knows it was exactly what he wanted to hear. Because why wouldn’t it be? Even so, when he quickly excused himself and hurried out of the store afterwards because he was tearing up, it didn’t even cross his mind that his ability was what did it.
He just didn’t think about it.
In some defense of his younger self, it wasn’t like it happened often. For the most part he was buried in self-loathing, or fear, or was just trying to stay away from people. He hadn’t even considered wanting to make people forget about talking to him yet, and even then, there were only so many times that could be done before someone noticed something weird was happening. So for the most part he tried to avoid being noticed unless he had to. It was just that occasionally a person would take notice of him and would say something nice.
Usually the exchange was short because they would leave once the glaring sincerity made him the slightest bit uncomfortable. And he assumed that that was what his ability was doing in those situations. Cutting these well-intentioned strangers short because encountering kindness felt like touching a hot stove. He never thought that the entire interaction might be his fault until a little over two years later.
It was raining outside. Had been all day. It was dark, and cold, and he was too far from the hotel he was staying at to have any desire to walk the distance. He was just sort of wandering the aisles in a random grocery store, killing time, and feeling nostalgic. In the soup aisle, of all places.
It was an unfortunate combination of the weather and circumstance reminding him about how, on days like this with terrible weather, his mom used to make soup and bread. Real bread; the kind you could tear with your hands. He’d always wanted to help make it, but she’d always told him he had to wait until he was a little older. She probably just didn’t want him messing up the kitchen and assumed he’d lose interest with time. But the fact that he’d never had a chance to find out had his throat feeling tight.
Soaked and shivering, wanting his mom in the soup aisle of a grocery store. Truly a new kind of pathetic.
He was rubbing his face with his hands and telling himself to get a grip when the guy who had walked into the aisle with him turned to stare at him. Brows furrowed, worried frown, nothing behind the eyes. It was the first time Damien noticed how creepy it looked. And unlike the woman in the bookstore, he remembered exactly what he said to him.
“I’m sorry about what happened to your parents. They shouldn’t have left you.”
Damien felt like someone had thrown a cold bucket of water over him. He was so shocked that for a moment he didn’t think anything at all: his mind came to a screeching halt and his heart pounded and idiot that he was, he actually asked, “What did you say?”
Dutifully as a parrot, he repeated it. Same words, same exact cadence. It was downright haunting and before Damien even realized he was moving, he found himself back on the sidewalk outside.
He didn’t even go back to the hotel. He just walked for what must have been hours because by the time he found a different place to sleep the rain had let up. He spent all that time running over every other interaction like that he’d ever had, thinking in circles, trying to convince himself that it couldn’t have been true. Not every single person who said something to him could have been doing it just because he wanted them to. But the more he turned it over, the more it started to make sense. The more it hurt. The more he started to feel the full scope of just how alone he was and that there really was nobody who cared about him because he didn’t make them.
It's funny. He thought, as he crawled into the bed fully dressed and still shivering, half-laughing with tears stinging his eyes. The things you don’t think about.
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spilledbutter · 1 year
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i'm back again (with new material!!!)
expect a new story from me later this morning 👀
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astarlightmonbebe · 2 years
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symbolism in insider: the matryoshka doll
jtbc’s insider is filled with symbolism, from the card games to the literal cards themselves, but one mysterious element that pops up too many times to be a coincidence is a matryoshka doll (featured in bad screenshots throughout). it’s never explicitly clear what the matryoshka doll’s purpose is, but it is clear that it is supposed to have some significance. in this post, i will attempt to analyze the matryoshka doll, and what connection it has to the plot, specifically yohan and sunoh.
the matryoshka doll makes it’s first appearance in episode three. in the scene, yohan is searching sunoh’s cell. the matryoshka doll is seen on the windowsill. when yohan goes to investigate it further, he is interrupted/caught. 
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the second time the matryoshka doll is seen is in episode six, when yohan enters sunoh’s now empty cell and confirms that he has left without a word (as he said he would). however, the matryoshka doll is still there, indicating that sunoh has left it behind, despite it seemingly being a personal possession of his. 
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the matryoshka doll makes it’s third appearance in episode eight/nine, right after yohan has seen the video on minho’s instagram and realized sunoh was his grandmother’s killer. after he’s done breaking down, he looks at the matryoshka doll with cold fury, remembering picking it up in sunoh’s cell. it’s clear that in this moment, the matryoshka doll is sunoh.
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the last time the matryoshka doll is seen is in episode twelve, where yohan sets it on the table before beginning his interrogation of sunoh. it’s surely no coincidence that episode twelve, the last time we see sunoh, is the last time the matryoshka doll is featured as well.
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now, in regards to the doll itself, there are several questions about it’s significance in canon, such as:
why did sunoh have the doll to begin with? (and what does the doll mean to him?)
did sunoh leave the doll purposefully for yohan to find?
why does yohan set the doll on the table for sunoh to clearly see?
for the first one, we don’t know the answer, and likely can only speculate about it. it’s unclear what value it holds to sunoh, and if he leaves it behind because it’s worthless, or not. however, it doesn’t seem to be something that he’s super attached to, or at least not something with a whole ton of sentimental value.
which leads me to the second question: did sunoh leave the matryoshka doll on purpose? if so, why? 
although this is never confirmed canonically, it is my personal belief that sunoh did leave the doll deliberately, and likely meant for yohan to keep it, as it is shown that yohan did. i think at that point, from episodes six to eight (ish), the matryoshka doll becomes a symbol for sunoh, both his presence and his absence. yohan initially keeps it as a token of remembrance, almost like a parting gift from sunoh, but after episode eight it becomes a symbol of revenge. when he looks at the doll in episode eight, remembering finding it in episode six, there is nothing but a burning hatred and intent in his eyes. in this scene, yohan is choosing to leave behind the relationship he had with sunoh in favor of taking his revenge. sunoh is now one of his enemies, and so the matryoshka doll can no longer symbolize their friendship.
the third question is the hardest one to answer. we are obviously shown yohan setting the matryoshka doll down for a reason, and yohan obviously does it for a reason, but that reason is unclear, and us viewers can do nothing but hypothesize about it, which is what i will now do.
some viewers have postulated that yohan sets the doll down as a signal to sunoh of some sort, which infers that they were working together in some aspect. while i don’t think the latter is true, the former - that yohan sets the doll down as a signal - could possibly work out, as it lends to other details of the scene that don’t quite add up, such as yohan deliberately showing sunoh his web on the wall, showing him the video, etc. despite yohan having seemingly no problem setting sunoh up and letting him get captured and tortured by the yang brothers, his interrogation is surprisingly gentle; he promises medical care, and even though sunoh doesn’t confess to anything, yohan still reacts instinctively to save his life. although this could be lended to just yohan’s more kind hearted personality, i think insider is clear about yohan’s transformation from someone who is more soft hearted to a cutthroat man, and like i said earlier, he doesn’t seem to have a problem backstabbing sunoh in episode eleven.
i believe that it’s more likely that yohan sets the matryoshka doll down for sunoh to see as a sign of their former shared relationship. if we take the possibility that sunoh leaves the doll as a parting gift to yohan as true, then yohan setting it down is almost his returning it in a way, kind of like him saying ‘we’re over.’ it would remind sunoh of his promises to yohan, and the closeness they shared, and could also possibly make sunoh feel guilty towards yohan.
now, outside of it’s appearances in canon, i want to discuss a little about what the matryoshka doll might symbolize re: sunoh himself, outside of his and yohan’s relationship.
matryoshka dolls are nesting dolls, meaning they’re hollow on the inside, fitting smaller dolls inside of them. although sunoh’s doll is certainly small, it likely still has several other dolls on the inside, although we never see this confirmed (i think it would have been cool if they did confirm it was a nesting doll, but it might have gotten a bit heavy handed then, as insider is all about hidden meaning and coded symbolism, letting the viewer draw their own conclusions without shoving it in their faces).
this concept of a nesting doll perfectly matches sunoh’s traction throughout the show. like the matryoshka doll, sunoh shows one side to the world, but inside there are miniature versions of himself that are revealed as the show goes on. we first meet him as the dean of the prison, but then we learn about his real personality underneath his sadistic, cheerful front, shown through how he mentors yohan. and underneath that is a more calculating version of himself, someone that hides his hands to hide his lies, which we see as his past with yang joon is revealed. we are once again blindsided by the reveal that he is the person that killed yohan’s grandmother, and then we’re shown the more desperate sides of sunoh, someone who wants to live and is morally unscrupulous. however, our final view of sunoh is in episode twelve, where he is fully unraveled during his talk with chairman do, where he reveals the final nesting doll of his heart (and yes, i could say a lot more about sunoh in episode twelve, but by then i would be completely off topic lol).
again, it’s no coincidence that the matryoshka doll is last seen the last time yohan and sunoh interact. it vanishes with sunoh’s ‘death,’ and sunoh vanishes from the screen.
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