#I HAD TO DO THAT SILLY CAR MEME LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katstratfordfanclub · 1 year

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April 17, 2023

Dear Tumblr,

It's been a minute. I've had to move all of my personal shit to a new side blog because clar (formally jg) found my og blog and kinda confronted me about it lol. A lot has happened recently, allow me to catch you up.

So, the clar situation has reached new heights. The last time I posted about it, was a few months ago after the PBI when he invited me to join him for dinner with some of his friends. I declined, something I regret now, but he ended up hugging me before we went different ways. That was the last time I saw him until he came back for spring break.

A few days before Valentine's day, I posted a silly little meme on my close friends' story on Instagram that said something along the lines of 'are you busy feb 14?' or something like that because I am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and I simply love love. I love the idea of having someone that I can devote my time to show how much I care for them. Anyway, he swiped up and said hi. This sparked us just talking for a while about life and making jokes about starting a casino in our town this summer. That was that. I continued to post silly little love-related things on my story along with other memes and jokes and he continued to interact with them.

Im friends with his sister and so i had heard that he was back in town in passing from her. I didn't really know what that meant for me at the time though. I knew I had feelings for him and had been hyping myself up in an attempt to make a move on him for months, but now that he was back, I wasn't sure what to do. I talk a lot of big game but as soon as something personal comes up that may change everything, I freeze.

The first time I saw him again was at scholar bowl practice. The room was packed and I was the last to walk in so I had to pull up a chair next to my sister's friend. He just so happened to be right across the horseshoe. I really don't think we talked at all that day tbh. I didn't know what to say and he was constantly surrounded by his friends from back home. I couldn't have said anything without someone sniffing out that I was acting weird. The next day he came to drama club practice. We actually talked then. Not about anything major, just catching up with each other on our lives and making conversation like friends that hadn't seen each other in a while. He did get really close to me though. Making efforts to stand next to me even if we weren't necessarily talking at the time. When practice was over I went on to scholar bowl and we said our goodbyes. I wasn't sure when I would see him again but I had hoped that he would come to another practice either scholar bowl or theatre.

He came back a few days later and spent the whole day with the band teacher, assisting in lessons and giving his insight as a college player. He also came into drama that day and we chatted more, he even put his hat back on my head like he had at the PBI. When the day ended I drove him and his sister home in silence. His sister had made him sit in the back of my car, making conversation difficult between us, not that I could have said anything too, interesting (?), to him because of the whole sister-in-the-car thing. When we arrived, his sister thanked me and got out while he lingered. I didn't say anything because frankly, I didn't know what to say. Finally, he simply said something along the lines of 'I guess I'll see you at graduation?' to which I simply replied that he would. I would be graduating after all and Im not passing up the opportunity to walk the stage. Then he got out because she was just standing by the door, waiting for him.

That was that. or so I thought.

I went home that day and scream-cried all the way to the gym where I ran for a while and then finally completed a very focused and emotional lifting session.

A few days later it was time for my scholar bowl team to go to state. All was good and well about that. It's not the focus of today's post. Anyway, we had just gone through the awards ceremony and gotten back on the bus when I checked Instagram. He had posted a story and I clicked. It was an exact replica of a meme I had posted on my close friend's story four days prior about wanting a bf who always had a Wikipedia article pulled up on his third monitor, specifically the gulf war. Guess what he had on his third monitor? The gulf war Wikipedia page. I was in complete shock. The guy that I had been hinting about having feelings for had possibly dropped a hint back. I was going through it tbh.

Now something about me recently is that I have finally realized that I will never have to see anybody from my high school again unless I choose to after I graduate. This has sent me into a spiral of not taking anyone's shit and playing some more risky moves.

I swiped up. 'the gulf war huh,' i asked. I asked him if he learned anything interesting. He quickly replied that he really didn't remember because it was almost three am when he took the picture. I went along with it. I mean it could have been a total coincidence. He said that he needed to work on some homework. I let him, a little embarrassed about getting so worked up over something that I had then thought to be a coincidence.

A few days passed and he texted me asking if I wanted to talk after drama club via a call because he had gone back to school. I of course said yes. In my mind, this could either go really good or really bad. The good being, he's into me too and all the seemingly unnoticed flirting had not gone to waste. The bad possibility being, he knows that I'm into him and is uncomfortable with it. I went the whole day stressing about it but also trying to not completely freak out. I'm a believer that whatever happens, happens and that everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens on the phone is just how the universe wanted it to turn out.

The time comes. I message him. He replies. We call. He very bluntly asked me if all the posts on my story where about him. I get embarrassed and ask, "what if they where?" He took a minute to say anything and I got worried that I had said the wrong thing so I back tracked. "Being completely blunt, yes they where about you. I've had a thing for you for a while now." I could tell he was really nervous. His voice was shaking really bad and he kept whispering to himself. If I wasn't so caught up in not messing it up I would have been caught up in how cute it was tbh. He said that he thought that he had began to feel the same way for me. We talked for hours that night. Getting to know each other better and what that meant for us.

We are continuing to talk regularly. I cant wait to see where this goes. Expect more blog posts. There are some things about this that, as much as I hate to say it, I am a bit insecure about so ill be using this blog for as much venting as I do journaling the progress we make.

Kat out <3

#clar #personal journal #digital diary #crush #situationship #what are we????#crushcore #crush culture #feel free to ignore

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shorkbrian · 3 years

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Babysitter

Prelude - I do not understand how some people get turned on by spanking, but I still respect that kink. I could never lol I just think back to the days where I got spanked so hard I’d pass out or the wooden spoon would break haha.

Pairing - Bakugou Katsuki X Reader

Prompt - idk I just thought of babysitters being so flipping like “Im in charge here” and stupid and I feel like Bakugou would enjoy babysitting like someone just a few years younger than him cause he’d get such a rush of power.

Warnings - NSFW, abuse of power, noncon, spanking, degradation, slight misogyny. slight masochism?

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5E30LdtzQTGqRvNd7l6kG5?si=IG4WgPeSQf2_UzyLXMWR7g

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Your mom was overbearing.

Here you were, a full-grown adult, and your mom was yelling her thanks to your “babysitter” as she rushed out the door.

You knew she was a bit protective, a bit hyper-vigilant and akin to a helicopter parent. But it was hard to be mad at her for it, not ever since dad had divorced her. She was terrified of something happening to you, of loosing the last thing in her life that she cared about.

Still, it was hard not to feel a little bubble of irritation in your throat as you watched your “babysitter” wave to her as she climbed in her car. You didn’t need a babysitter, not at your age. And you especially didn’t need the gruff, surly man that had lived in the house across the street as your babysitter. You could take care of yourself, thank you very much.

And how come your mom didn’t trust you by yourself, but somehow trusted this Mr. Grumpypants that you had met a total of zero times. You had seen him once, when your mom’s car had broken down at her job and you had to go pick her up.

You hadn’t minded, rolling up to the curb to see your mother animatedly talking to some blonde man with a stick shoved up his ass, his handsome face grimacing like he just sucked on a lemon dipped in hot sauce. Apparently she worked with him, the younger man a security guard for the complex her office was located in. You watched as his bored red eyes slid from your mother, over to you through the car window, his brow furrowing. The bored look had disappeared, and he regarded you with… curiosity? Contempt? It was hard to tell what emotion was hidden behind his eyes, underlaid so strongly with irritation and anger.

Mom had gushed about him all the way home, telling you details you didn’t really care about. His name was Bakugou Katsuki, he was single, 27, and wouldn’t you know - he lived right across the street!

Well, if she trusted him, you guess you should too. Didn’t mean you had to like it though.

And you didn’t, huffing as Bakugou closed the door and you turned back to your game, mashing buttons and sitting forward as you tried to beat this level. It was ridiculous, your mom going over to his house a few days prior with a plate of cookies, asking the man if he wouldn’t mind coming and hanging out while she was away on some business trip. She had expressed her worry about leaving you - what if something happened while she was gone for a week? Someone could kidnap you and she wouldn’t even know until she got back!

Even when you politely reminded her that cell-phones existed, she was adamant; you were going to have someone big and strong stay in the house with you. It not only would keep potential burglars and thieves away, but it’d keep you safe, make sure you weren’t doing anything silly like staying up too late or eating too much junk food. It was embarrassing.

Some small part of you wanted to stomp your foot and whine at her, but that wouldn’t help you in trying to convince her that you were an adult. Once your mom convinced herself of something, nothing would be able to change her mind. Even when you pointed out that Bakugou was a strange man, she didn’t budge.

“I see him everyday at work!” She had pointed out. “Plus, he’s a security guard sweetie - his literal job involves keeping people safe.”

Bakugou locked the door, before glancing your way. You felt his eyes on you, but you didn’t feel like acknowledging his presence, by gracing him with conversation or any sort of interaction. The man moved on after a second, walking behind you and into the kitchen. You heard him rustle in the cupboards, the clink of glasses, then the sound of water filling a cup.

Right - your mom had kindly showed him where everything was. She had guided him through each room showed him the guest room which she had made up for his stay, even walking him through the kitchen and showing him the contents of each cupboard.

He came back into the living room with his backpack and cup full of water, settled himself down in one of the armchairs by the couch. You didn’t spare him a glance as he pulled out his laptop, threw on some glasses, and settled himself in for… well, whatever he was doing. You were just glad that the two of you didn’t have to interact with each other.

You continued playing your game, occasionally getting frustrated enough to mumble under your breath at the TV as your character died yet again. This was going to be a long week.

----

You were taking a gap year after graduating, relaxing before you threw yourself into college and working. Right now, your days were spent playing games, scrolling on your phone and laughing at memes, going to the pool for hours on end, the library, bike rides, hikes… lots of activities that kept your mind and body occupied. But this week? Bakugou threw off every plan you made.

It was the second day, and you had gotten up early to go swim and goof off at the community pool for a few hours. It was fun, you could tan a little, cool off, maybe see some cute boys your age.

When you got out of the water you had two missed texts from Bakugou.

Where are you

Tell me where the fuck you went

Instead of answering, you huffed, wrapping your towel around your waist. It took maybe fifteen minutes to walk home - you’d deal with your overprotective babysitter then.

He met you at the door, throwing it open before you could even touch the handle. His face was drawn tight in a scowl, the blonde crossing his arms as soon as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you.

“Your fucking phone die? Or are you just ignoring me?”

You shook your head, irritated with how big of a deal he was making out of this. You went to the pool all the time, you weren’t going to die. “I was at the pool, chill dude.”

“Oh, I thought you just popped out to go fucking parachuting!” He spat, uncrossing his arms to gesture at your body. “I can see that you went to the pool dipshit. Why didn’t you fucking tell me, huh? You normally run off on your mom without a damn word?”

You stared at him, curious to see if he would burst a blood vessel with how worked up he was getting. He didn’t seem like someone that knew what the word “relax” meant. Bakugou probably slept all angrily, arms crossed, lips pulled into a frown, eyebrows drawn low.

“Fucking hey, earth to idiot!” Fingers snapped in front of your face, and you recoiled, glaring up at the man in front of you. Before you could open your mouth, he huffed, rubbing a hand across his forehead. “Don’t fucking go anywhere unless you run it by me, understand? I don’t need you wandering into a fucking alley and getting stabbed or some shit.”

Snorting, you moved past him, not even bothering to answer. He was an asshole. Despite what your mother thought, you weren’t a child. You knew how to take care of yourself, you didn’t need some grumpy old guy bossing you around. Said man was grinding his teeth as he watched you walk away, headed for your room. It probably annoyed the life out of him that you hadn’t answered, but he didn’t say anything.

When you finished grabbing clothes for your shower, you came out of your room to see Bakugou leaning against the wall.

“So you’re being a little spoiled princess, not even talking to me? That’s rich. You know I’m gonna be here for the next fucking week - you better make peace with that.”

“Dude, I don’t know what you want. I’m fine, I do this all the time. Just leave me be, and I’ll do the same for you.”

Bakugou grumbled something under his breath, but your skin was getting dry and tight from chlorine, so you ignored him as you slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear his feet stomping away, and almost giggled at the sound. It almost seemed like he was the petulant child that needed a babysitter.

It didn’t take you long to rinse off, get all the chlorine and salt off your skin. Drying off, you quickly realized you forgot a bra when you had grabbed clothes - which was fine, you would just wrap up in your towel and waddle back to your room. Plus, the bathroom was directly opposite your room, and Bakugou wasn’t nearby, you could hear dishes rattling in the kitchen, so that wouldn’t be a problem.

And it wasn’t, not until you were in your room, door closed, towel on the floor as you rifled through your dresser drawers for the bra you really liked.

“Hey princess, do you want-“

You only heard him as he opened the door, and by that time you were scrambling to snatch your towel up around your naked body. Bakugou choked on his words, face turning a flaming red before he slammed the door shut, giving you your privacy.

Heart racing, you sat down on the floor, too embarrassed for words. That was awkward.

“Why the fuck would you grab clothes, only to come back and change in your room!??!” Bakugou yelled from the other side of the door, a decidedly angry “thump” from where he banged his fist against the door.

“I forgot something, geez! Why didn’t you bother knocking?!?” You yelled back, your own face heating up.

“Holy fucking shit, just get some fucking clothes on, asshole. I’m makin’ pancakes and shit.”

Breakfast was an awkward affair, your gaze focused firmly on the perfectly cooked food on your plate. Bakugou was glaring at you between bites, obviously fuming. He was probably just as embarrassed as you were, but at least he wasn’t trying to make small talk.

----

Bakugou doesn’t appreciate how much time you spend playing video games, and it’s only the third day. He’s grumbled about it several times already, but you aren’t hurting anybody, and there’s nothing else for you to do, so.

It seems like the only thing Bakugou is willing to do is sit nearby, glare at you condescendingly, and mutter under his breath about how you spend your time. When you decided to run to the store to get groceries (there was a surplus of food in the house - you just wanted some air and time away from your “babysitter”) Bakugou had suddenly appeared, moving in front of the door and sneering.

“Are you trying to fuckin’ sneak off again? I won’t let that shit slide twice.”

You huffed, shrugging on your jacket. “Bakugou, I was going to the store. Contrary to what you think, I’m not eight years old, and I can take care of myself. My mom’s just a helicopter parent. You don’t even need to be here, honestly.”

The man scoffed, his face souring. “You’re literally a fucking child. Didn’t you just graduate highschool?”

Stepping closer to him, you squared your shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as you looked up at the blond. “Call me a child all you want - doesn’t change the fact I’m old enough to do stuff by myself. Now-“ you gestured to his body “-please move.”

“No.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “And why not? You can’t just lock me in the house until my mom comes back.”

Bakugou’s head cocked, red eyes burrowing into your head. He grinned. “Why the fuck not? I’m in charge here, I get to make the damn rules. I say your ass stays here, and it’s going to.”

Clenching your jaw, you huffed, spinning on your heel. You weren’t going to be able to talk the bull-headed man into leaving you to your own devices. There was nothing left to do except shuck off your shoes, admitting defeat. It was so irritating - you didn’t need anyone looking after you, you were an adult! You were more than capable of handling yourself! Why didn’t your mom trust you? Did she think that you were too stupid to keep yourself alive and safe?

You left Bakugou at the door, grabbing a soda from the kitchen before flopping onto the couch in front of TV.

Sure, you could read a book, do a puzzle, browse social media. But right now, you were feeling particularly angry, violent. You wanted to achieve something, finish quests, accomplish tasks. So video games it was.

Of course, that meant Bakugou sauntering back into the living room, groaning as he saw you back in front of the TV. But if he wasn’t going to let you go out, then this is what you were going to spend your time doing. If he wanted to treat you like a child, then you were going to act like one. Show him how much of a brat you really could be.

You turn on your console, select the game you’re going to be playing for the next few hours, and settle further into the couch, making yourself comfortable. Reaching down to the coffee table, you’re about to grab the soda you had brought in earlier, but Bakugou beat you to it.

“Hey!” You whined, watching the blond pop the tab, take a long, slow drag of the carbonated drink. He smacked his lips and cocked his head, smirking down at you.

“You shouldn’t drink this sorta shit, ’s bad for you.”

“Why are you drinking it then?!!?”

Bakugou shrugged. “‘Cause I’m in charge here. I get to do whatever I fuckin’ want.”

Huffing, you gave up the argument, starting to push yourself off the couch. Bakugou was one of those people that got off on power trips, liked being the one to call the shots. The best course of action here would be to just ignore him and grab another soda.

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going? I didn’t say you could move.” The blond man was standing in front of you, making it impossible for you to stand. He was so irritating - you couldn’t wait for this week to be over.

“I’m going to get something to drink, since you decided to help yourself to my soda.”

He moved out of your way, clicking his tongue before flopping down into the armchair by the couch. You glared at him for as long as you could, until the kitchen wall hid his face from view. Ugh, he was such a jerk. At first he had seemed somewhat decent, but as he got more comfortable around you, the man was turning into a self-absorbed tyrant.

Whatever, you were only going to have a stupid “babysitter” for a few more days.

----

“Get off the damn game! Don’t make me haul your ass off that couch.”

Bakugou threatened. He wasn’t very intimidating, standing there vigorously brushing his teeth like there was something wrong with them. The blond had already asked you two other times, and you had ignored him on both occasions. You were so close to leveling up, just a few more points.

If Bakugou wanted to go to bed when the sun was still up, he was more than welcome to do so. You however, had better things to do with your time.

You saw him stomp away out of the corner of your eye, apparently giving up on trying to tell you what to do in your own house. Good.

If anything, Bakugou should be grateful that all you were interested was playing video games and going to the pool. You could be out getting in trouble, doing drugs, rebelling against the system or something - but you were here, chilling and causing zero trouble.

The sink in the bathroom ran, then clattering could be heard as Bakugou finished up his bedtime routine, putting his toothbrush away, washing his hands, yada yada.

He appeared back in the living room, arms crossed. His muscles bulged out like that, showcased by the sleeveless black tank top he was wearing. But you weren’t intimidated, it’s not like he was going to hit you or something.

“Alright, last chance. Turn the fucking game off, it’s your majesty’s bedtime now.” He sneered.

You ignored him.

“You seriously wanna do this princess?”

You stayed silent. Just a few more kills….

“Alright, you fuckin’ asked for it.”

The TV turned off, Bakugou yanking the cords out behind it.

“Dude, what the hell! I was so close to leveling up!!” You screeched, sitting up straight. Bakugou’s face was screwed into an angry frown, and he advanced towards you, walking with purpose. You were fuming, rising to your feet so you could get in his face, tell him off. He was acting like he was your dad or something, and he most definitely was not.

When the man got within an arm length of you, you immediately jabbed a finger into his chest, mouth opening to spit nasty words. Those words died when your hand was slapped harshly away, Bakugou still walking forward until he was crowding into your space. You tried to shrink back, but a rough hand latched onto the back of your neck, holding you still as Bakugou closed in on you, bringing your foreheads together.

“You are such a spoiled little princess. Think you can get away with shit, yeah? Never had a man in your life to put you in your goddamn place, that’s why, isn’t it?”

You blanched, still trying to lean backwards, away from his overwhelming presence. It was kind of scary, how he was all up in your face, how his fingers gripped the back of your neck so tightly, how his face was so close to yours that you could feel his warm, minty breath.

“Bakugou, ple-“

“Nah, shut the fuck up. We’re past any point where you could’ve begged for forgiveness. I am so sick and tired of your bratty little attitude. You keep testing my patience, being a little shit, acting like you own the damn place. You’re gonna show me you’re fuckin’ sorry princess.”

A hand wrapped around your waist, another on your thigh, hefting you up with brute strength and slinging you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye. The swift movement made your head spin for a second, but you quickly adjusted.

“Woah, what the hell man? Put me down!” Bakugou ignored you, spinning on his heel and marching towards the guest bedroom. “Dude, put me down right now, this isn’t funny anymore. C’mon, put me down, I get it. You’re in charge, and I gotta listen. You can let me down now. Please?”

Your pleading went unheard, even as it got more and more desperate the closer to the guest bedroom he walked. When you passed through the doorway, you kicked at the mans stomach, tried to hit his back - you had a faint idea of where this was going, and it was nowhere good.

Without ceremony, you were thrown on the bed, the air getting knocked out of you with the impact, your head bouncing a few times on the mattress. Bakugou turned, shutting and locking the door before he was back in front of you again, a vicious look on his face.

You scrambled backwards on the bed, holding out one hand as if to ward him off. “Okay, dude, wait, you don’t want to do this. Please don’t do this, you’re a good guy-“

“Shit, do you ever stop running your mouth? Calm the fuck down princess, I’m just gonna spank you ’till you cry, then we’ll be even.”

The idea was humiliating, embarrassing, degrading. But it was better than what you thought was about to happen. Bakugou grabbed your ankle, pulling you back towards him with a quick yank, sitting down beside you on the bed. The man patted his lap expectantly, before getting impatient with your hesitance and grabbing your hair, pulling you across his lap with a pained shriek from you.

“Now, here’s how this is gonna fucking go. You’re gonna sit there and take it, and you’ll be done once I say so. Now shut up.”

Without further ceremony, a broad hand slapped your ass, your shorts providing only the thinnest of barriers. You weren’t ready for the hit, so you lurched forward across the mans lap with a small cry. Another smack landed, and while you still weren’t ready, the sting wasn’t as jarring as the first slap.

SMACK

SMACK SMACK SMACK

You tried to not whine, or cry, or make any noise, but it was hard. His hand was coming down with more force on each strike, and it /hurt/. You could feel your skin throbbing underneath your shorts, red and tender, and you were ready to be done.

Bakugou however, was not.

He kept going,

SMACK

Each hit harder than the last.

SMACK

You wanted to cry, trying to hold it in, just endure through the mortification of being spanked like a child.

SMACK

You couldn’t take it anymore, bursting into tears, skin burning, blubbering for Bakugou to stop, please.

The spanking stopped.

The two of you sat there, you sobbing, Bakugou rubbing the skin of your ass over your shorts. Somehow, that hurt just as much as the spanking did, so you reached a hand back blindly, trying to catch his wrist and push him away. As soon as you grabbed his wrist, Bakugou delivered another savage slap to your behind, making you immediately apologize and drop your hands, let him pet and stroke your ass at his leisure. It hurt.

You don’t know how long you both stayed there, Bakugou further irritating the burning, raw skin of your butt, you sniffling and calming down from the full-bodied sobs that had wracked your form earlier. It had been long enough that you barely flinched when Bakugou tentatively fingered the waistband of your shorts, twisting up the fabric, as if he were hesitant to go further, but obviously considering it. You didn’t flinched when a decision was seemingly made, and a hand started slowly pulling your shorts down.

You flinched when the fabric slid over a particularly sore welt on your ass.

“What are you doing??” You panicked, trying to rise up, move away. A hand between your shoulder blades held you down, Bakugou’s gruff voice telling you to stay still.

“I just wanna see how it looks, fuckin’ chill out princess.”

It’s not like you could argue, so off slid your shorts. You tried to protest again when you felt fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties, but another swift slap to your rear had you keening in pain, quickly falling silent. You could let him assess the damage, but that was it. If he tried to touch you further, you’d bite a chunk of his skin off, go find your phone and call the police.

With your lower half bared to the room, you squirmed uncomfortably, immediately stilling when Bakugou’s hand smoothed over the abused skin of your ass. He seemed fascinated by the damage he had caused, and you were sure that there were welts, maybe even bruises already forming. Your skin burned, and not in a pleasant way. God, it was painful.

There was so much pain, your skin somehow felt numb and on fire at the same time. You almost didn’t notice Bakugou’s hand dropping to your thigh, slowly beginning to wiggle it’s way upward, headed towards the little pink slit nestled between your legs.

When his hand made contact with your pussy, you flipped out.

Almost literally - you rocketed off the man’s lap so fast that you almost flipped over onto the ground, just barely catching yourself at the last second.

And then you were standing in front of the man, lower half completely bared, him staring at the space between your thighs, before slowly dragging his eyes upward to find your own.

You turned tail and ran for the door.

A problem with your aforementioned plan of calling the police, was forgetting that Bakugou was a security guard. His job was literally chasing people down, subduing them.

He had you pinned to the door in a matter of seconds, chuckling in your ear.

“Damn, I really was just only gonna spank your ass raw. You look goddamn delicious though, and it seems like you just haven’t learned your fucking lesson.”

You were hauled backward, a hand pulling your hair, the other wrapped around your waist. For the second time that day, you were tossed onto the bed, but this time you barely stayed for a second, already trying to scramble off the other side. But Bakugou was faster, his hand around your calf and dragging you back to him with an iron grip.

A scream tore out of your throat, and you kicked at the man with all your strength as you got closer, catching him square in the jaw. His head snapped back, but his grip never loosened, keeping you stationary while you tried to wiggle away.

His other hand came up to massage his jaw while he slowly rolled his head down to fix you with the most intense, hungry look you’d ever seen a human wear.

“Ohhh, shit. You don’t even know what you just did, do you princess?”

You gasped at his breathy laugh, the way his eyes seemed to light up. Within a second, he was on top of you, face inches away from your own. You could feel his dick, hard against your thigh.

“Wait, you don’t have to do this-think of the consequences! Please, I won’t tell anyone, just let me go, right now. You don’t want to do this Bakugou, please, it’s not gonna be good for either of us-“

He ignored your reasoning, instead focusing on ripping off your shirt, doing the same to your bra. You tried to stop him, hitting and punching, trying to sink your nails into his back, claw at his eyes. You even resorted to snapping your teeth at his nose when his face got too close, turning your head to sink your teeth into his forearm.

Bakugou just groaned throatily, his eyes fluttering shut. Immediately, you let go, not expecting that response. That was supposed to hurt, why wasn’t he yelling in pain? The man lifted his forearm, watching blood start to drip from where your blunt teeth had punctured his skin. He was breathing heavily, straddling your legs, hunched over you like a dog.

The next seconds were a blur, clothes coming off, his hands manhandling you onto your side, his deranged laughter and low, excited swearing filling your ears.

You found yourself on your side, Bakugou straddling one thigh, holding the other up with his arm. He was lining himself up with your opening, rough hand guiding his dick to nudge against your entrance. You screamed.

“Stop it! Stop it, please! You can’t do this! Oh god, stop, stop, stop, don’t-“

“I can do whatever the hell I want, princess.” The man spat, seemingly unaffected by the way you thrashed your body. You tried kicking the leg under him, but his weight anchored it firmly to the bed. You tried kicking the leg he was holding in the arm, but his tight grip just became painful, squeezing you into place. You tried to sit up, to reach out and grab him by the neck and squeeze, but the position you were in was impossible. He knew what he was doing.

You screamed again, a sound of pained, fearful anger crawling out of your throat. Bakugou just laughed.

“This wouldn’t be happening if you had just been good and listened to me. We could’ve gotten along.” He gathered the spit in his mouth, before crudely spitting onto his fingers. “I would’ve left you alone for now, I mean, I’m not a bad guy. “ Bakugou slapped his spit-slicked fingers down over your pussy, smearing his saliva along your folds, messily rubbing it in.

“I’m an upstanding citizen, I keep little crooks and stupid brats from running things their way, that’s all I’m doing.”

You yelled as a finger entered you, probing at your walls. “That hurts! Take it out, take it out! You’re disgusting, get off of me! Stop-!”

Bakugou kept talking, pointedly ignoring your panicked whining.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you before, and you’ve got a nice little body. But it’s not like I was just gonna up and hold you down. Good thing you’ve been giving me reasons all week though, being an absolute spoiled-ass princess, you’re so fucking annoying.”

Another finger joined the first, roughly jamming into your cunt, your juices beginning to flow and smooth the way. It was so stupid that your body was responding to this.

“I woulda never touched you, no matter how much I fucking wanted to, if you had just been good. I guess it works for me that you’ve been shit, huh?”

The man laughed again, leaning down towards your face to smile at you in a jeer, adding another finger to your aching pussy. The stretch hurt, it was too soon, but it felt good nonetheless. It’d been a while since you’d last messed around with someone.

When his fingers retracted, you gasped, face quickly blushing red. Another glob of spit was ejected onto Bakugou’s hand, and he quickly slicked up his cock with his own saliva, hissing as he first touched it.

As he lined himself up, you tried begging one more time. “Bakugou, Bakugou, please. Please don’t, you don’t want to do this. You can’t! Just let me up, please? Oh god, please, just let me go, I won’t tell anyone.”

He shoved the entirety of his cock inside with one, jarring thrust.

You screamed, voice cracking in the middle. The stinging pain of your ass was forgotten in the face of the jabbing, spiky pain in your lower abdomen. Bakugou hissed, eyes closed in bliss.

“God, you’re fuckin’ tight. You a virgin?”

Tears in your eyes from the unexpected pain of being filled so suddenly, you shook your head no. Bakugou clicked his tongue.

“Ah, I kinda figured. Slut like you probably can’t go a few days without a cock stuffing your cunt.” A thought seemed to cross his mind, and Bakugou’s eyes opened, peering down at you inquisitively, a slight twinkle in his eye.

“Is that why you’ve been such a demanding little princess?” You shook your head no vehemently, the pain slowly fading the longer Bakugou remained still inside you. “Holy fuck, that’s why you’ve been like this all week! You just needed a cock!” The man laughed before reaching a hand down to pat your face condescendingly. “Don’t you worry princess, I’ll give you what you need.”

No further words were spoken, despite how much you wanted to scream and yell and curse at the man above you. He immediately drew his cock back, before thrusting into you again, quickly finding a mind-numbing pace that didn’t allow you any time to think.

His thrusts were smooth, steady, fast - it was hard, no, impossible to stop yourself from moaning at how good everything was starting to feel, despite how much you didn’t want it to. It was even worse when Bakugou’s hand found it’s way to your clit, beginning to furiously rub the little button as he fucked you stupid.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that?”

You ignored him completely, turning your face against the covers of the guest bed. Bakugou just huffed, increasing his pace ever so slightly.

It wasn’t long before you were gasping, moaning on every other breath, trying to hold yourself back from begging the man to let you cum. You writhed underneath him, trying to arch your hips back to meet every one of his thrusts, ride the hand that was rubbing at your clit so nicely.

Your orgasm hit you out of nowhere.

It fizzed in your stomach, pleasure racing through you so quickly that you lost your breath, muscles locking up. It felt so good, you couldn’t breath, couldn’t move. Bakugou fucked you through it, smirking down as you obviously rode out your orgasm, his finger falling away from your clit before you could get overstimulated.

A few more thrusts, and Bakugou pulled out, quickly moving to straddle your chest as he quickly jerked himself off. His hand made the most lewd sound, squelching up and down his length that was drenched in your juices.

You were so blissed out from your orgasm, you almost didn’t mind when cum started splattering over your face.

You did mind, however, when Bakugou tried to rub it into your skin after he finished. A quick snap of your jaws towards his fingers made your point clear, and Bakugou backed off.

“We have plenty of time to work on you, seems like you still need to be put in your place by the man of the house. Spoiled little princess.”

——

When your mom got home, you barely kept yourself from sobbing in her arms as she hugged you. You wanted to tell her everything that had happened, what Bakugou had done to you - but that would just make her more paranoid, fearful.

She would lock you in the house and never let you leave. Plus it was embarrassing. “Hey mom, by the way, the babysitter you hired for me, your adult child, raped me after spanking me so hard I bruised, and I couldn’t stop him!” Wasn’t a sentence you wanted to utter. You were weak, and stupid.

Bakugou watched in the background, his backpack slung over his shoulder, ready to head across the street and back to his own house. Your mom kissed your hair, finally disentangling herself from your arms, moving to talk to the gruff blond. You stayed by the door, watching Bakugou with narrow eyes.

“We were fine - although, you were right in having someone come over. She’s irresponsible as hell, I don’t know what could’ve happened if I wasn’t here to stop her from doing stupid shit.”

Your mom threw you a disapproving glance, quickly turning to thank Bakugou for helping the two of you out. She pressed money into his hand, but he told her not to worry about it - he got to eat good food, sleep in a nice bed, and the wifi was better here than at his house. Your mom gave him a quick hug, and you watched his face sour, before he quickly moved away from her grasp.

“Just let me know if you ever need me to come hangout with her again - I think it’s good for her to have a strong male figure in her life. And my wifi sucks, so it’s a win-win for everyone.”

Except you.

Your mom clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh, that’d be perfect! What a nice young man you are, I knew you were trustworthy.”

Your stomach soured.

Bakugou said his goodbyes, obviously trying to get out of the house and away from your touchy mother as quickly as possible. Your mother thanked him again, welcoming him over “at any time!” To use the faster wifi, as long as he wouldn’t mind hanging out with you.

Bakugou gave a gruff laugh, brushing past you on his way out the door. He turned, looking at your mother, then at you.

“I’ll be here to help out, don’t you worry princess.”

You slammed the door in his face.

He was never stepping foot in your house again, not if you could help it.

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #yandere #yandere bakugou #oneshot #gross bakugou #uhh idk tags #tags?#yandere bnha

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kirby-the-gorb · 2 years

Text

reply roundup!

highlights:

thank you also to kellie who was not in the last patron thanks due to an error but is still entitled to thanks :v

this month’s wallpaper [preview] is up!

I [ranted] about how things are going for the disabled community and y’all were kind enough to share it around :’)

[carby]!

patreon drawing is up for [fleurdelis]!

there is a spreadsheet about sheep under the cut somewhere lol

on [bear]:

@vincentvarlotto said: is kirby naked

this is by far one of the funniest comments I’ve ever received. I thought about it for days after I received it. isn’t he always naked???

@the-halo-of-my-memory said: hapy bapy, you always post before bed so i get a big dumb smile on my face while i cozy up with thr blankets 🥰🥰🥰

aww that’s lovely :’) thank you for sharing with me!

on [this big]:

@ceylonsilvergirl said: I want to see a spreadsheet about different sheep breeds!

spreadsheep (all data taken from the American Sheep Industry Association website, it’s very oriented around fiber production because that’s what I want sheep for - the green ones are my favorites based on fiber output per sheep weight and the qualities of that fiber.)

on [cat ears]:

@novasbeans said: i.... didn't realize those were his arms at first... also love the cat ears

@porkchizz said: buttcrack

please, please, if I am trying to give kirby any kind of cleavage, you [will] [know]

on [bro.]:

@zer0cracy said: Kirby after the newest sidekick turns out to be another eldritch horror

weird how often that happens. he can’t even work up a fuss about it anymore.

@the-beeses-kneeses said: bruh a mood. i hope its okay to save this for a reaction meme

absolutely, I hope you have fun with it lol

@inexplicably-spookified said: the ultimate copy ability: not mad just disappointed

the strongest power of all: mild interpersonal consequences

on [carby]:

@imkirb said: carby makes me feel a wide range of some of the strongest emotions I've ever felt, none of which I can describe. like the shrimp that can see a billion colors that we cant

shrimp emotions. emoshrimps? (he mostly just makes me feel delight lol)

@pinkdaruma said: I somehow frel proud this was rec in my "based on your likes"

nice B)

@snowthedemonfox said: carby is the dumbest thing ive seen ever yet its that hilarious and stupid i cant help but laugh /lh

it’s just kinda like wow, they actually went for it. and I think it’s great.

@pancakecherub said: carby is literally the pinnacle of 'hehoo funni ponk blib eat evvyting'

kirby can have a little car as a treat! lol

on [keyblade]:

@bluebayard said: he can weild the keyblade because he is pure of heart smash bros ultimate is WRONG. kirby would heal me. kirby would use curaga for me unlike SOME people. ducks. donald.

he would also do a much better job of bopping the boss with his silly little stick while I run away instead of just heading directly into every attack :v

on [too small]:

@the-queen-is-off-duty said: OOOOOHOHOHOHOOOO SO SMOL, TREAT WITH CARE, CANT SMOOCH HE DISAPPEAR

@angst-and-fajitas said: perfect sized to me :)

@onyxonline said: ITS HIM!!!! JUST A LITTLE SCRUNKLY! A LITTLE MAN! A TINY LITTLE GUY! LITTLE BABY MAN!!!! DA KIRBO!!!!

it’s him!! the littlest of guys!!! keep him in a thimble house!

on [cupid]:

@slimey-boo said: gorb this is so cute :) lil man is so happy. and possibly dangerous

hehe thank you :> he was given the gift of a bow and arrow and he is going to make it everyone else’s problem.

on [lost]:

@ceylonsilvergirl said: I know that this was literally created as a representation of a cat, but isn’t this just every single human alive? you’re born knowing nothing, and the more you learn the less you know. I mean, what we know as a species is just so infinitesimally small. interacting with brilliant people makes me even more convinced we know nothing. I’ve met a Nobel lauriat who smoked, he had no idea how to quit. I know a rocket scientist who tried to correct my word usage, and he was absolutely wrong. I’ve met a brilliant mathematician who couldn’t figure out how to work a camera. we’re all in a perpetual state of confusion

what are humans if not mammals that mistakenly assumed we were smarter than everyone else lol, I think it’s fine to not know much but we’d all be better off if we were willing to admit it.

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digital-corruption · 3 years

Text

This is probably not very well edited since I kept getting interrupted. 😒

Haunted by the Past Part 65

Back at the apartment Jake secluded himself to his office with all of the new gear. I was told he had to write his own custom modifications to get everything to work how he wanted it and ensure it would behave how it should on the day. In other words, it was time for serious Jake things so I left him alone to work on dinner.

Jake was so completely absorbed in his work that he didn’t even notice me serving dinner onto plates or me calling to him. I walked over to get his attention, but he was so focused on his programming that I couldn’t find it in me to interrupt him. I grabbed my plate and took it to the table to eat resigning to the fact I’d be eating alone, except I accidentally dropped my fork on the way.

“Is dinner done already?” Jake asked from the doorway.

“Oh, yes, I was about to eat,” I smiled as I headed back for a new fork.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he frowned.

“I did, like three times,” I laughed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he grabbed his plate.

We sat down at the table together to eat our dinner. Well, I ate. Jake shovelled food into his mouth, then took his plate back to the kitchen and went back to his office. I was alone again and sighed.

“It's going to take me a while,” Jake suddenly stuck his head out again. “I can feel the deadline looming, MC. For your sake, I can't get distracted.”

“It’s ok. You do Jake things,” I tried to mask my loneliness.

After finishing my dinner, I took my plate to the kitchen and cleaned up. Feeling a bit unsettled, I made myself a hot drink and took it to the couch to check on things on my phone. Sipping my drink, I could not find anything of importance to keep myself entertained. I eventually found myself in the never-ending pit of Youtube videos, as one does when bored. Dan must’ve sensed my boredom as he started sending me ridiculous memes.

MC: Haha, those are great

Dan: She lives!

MC: Of course I live

Dan: I don’t know, it is hard to tell if it’s really you or THAT guy

MC: WTH, Jake doesn’t try to impersonate me

Dan: Kidnappers have been known to do such things

MC: I haven’t been kidnapped

Dan: Graet, then let’s hang out! I've got whisky here wiht your name on it!

MC: ... Are you drunk?

Dan: Pfft no!

MC: How many glasses have you had?

Dan: Two

Dan: Three?

Dan: ... Four...

MC: Right, I see. What’s the occasion this time?

Dan: Ugh the sisters are arguing again. Hannah this Lilly that. It does my head in.

MC: What about?

Dan: Everything? Anything?

Dan: Not that I can blmae Lilly. Hannah's been picking fights.

MC: Wow, that sucks

Dan: Thank you!

Dan: I cant even get Tommy boy to join me.

Dan: “Naw I gotta stick with Hannah. I can’t leave her alone right now. She needs me. Blah blah crowman blah.’

Dan: MC join me!

MC: You know I can’t

Dan: Bullshit!

Dan: You’re no better than the rest of them

Dan: Godamnit I miss Jessy...

MC: I miss her too, Dan

Dan: That car idiot too

Dan: Fuck it! Ill just drink alone then

Dan is offline.

I threw my head back into the cushion. Sorry Hannah, but I kind of missed the old days of playing silly drawing games with our friends. It felt horrible to think it when she was suffering then, but those were such innocent times. Even knowing now that we were being deceived, it was just simpler then. We have to bring this nonsense to a close, once and for all.

MC: Hey Cleo

Cleo is online.

Cleo: Hey! How are you?

MC: Alright, you?

Cleo: Yeah, well, can’t complain. What’s up?

MC: I was just thinking, it’s probably time to remove Jessy and Richy from the group chat.

Cleo: Yeah, you’re probably right. Best to do it before the next big thing happens.

MC: Plus Dan is currently drunk and not paying attention

Cleo: lol ok

Cleo: Oof, can you do it? Pressing the button is harder than I thought.

MC: Sure, no prob

I took a deep breath and went to the group chat. My finger hovered over the kick button for a few moments before finally making contact.

Jessy was removed from the group chat.

Richy was removed from the group chat.

I went back to the private chat with Cleo.

MC: There I did it

Cleo: Sorry for making you do that

MC: No sweat

Meanwhile in the group chat.

Dan is online.

Dan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

Cleo: Dan, please, it was time

Dan: YOU DIDN’T EVEN IT DISCUS IT WIT THE RSET OF US!

MC: Dan, I am the one who did it.

Lilly is online.

Lilly: What is going on?

Dan: THEY FUCKIJG KICKED THEM!

Thomas is online.

Thomas: Whoa, what?

Cleo: Look, we had good reason to.

MC: It’s ok Cleo, let me explain.

Cleo: Go ahead

MC: Jake and I have reason to believe that MWAF is accessing the group chat through one of the two accounts.

MC: Especially since Jessy’s phone was never recovered, it is a security risk.

Hannah is online.

Lilly: Through one of the two accounts? You mean you can’t even say for sure which one? Then how do you even know that one of them has been compromised?

Thomas: Good point, Lilly

Dan: Fucking good point! I call bullshit!

Hannah: Good riddance

Thomas: Hannah...

Lilly: How can you say that!? They were your friends too!

Lilly: Jessy spent her spare time trying to find you! She died trying to find information on your kidnapper!!

Hannah: lol idiot

Hannah is offline.

Lilly: Thomas!!

Thomas: Let me talk with her, ok?

Dan: Tommy boy it’s time. She needs serious help.

Thomas: She’s seeing serious help!

Thomas: She was making real progress until this whole thing started up again!

Dan: Yeha, why the hell hasn't hacker boy found him?

Dan: He must really suck at what he does

MC: Hey, we've got leads, ok? A lot more than we had before!

Dan: And? Finish it already!

MC: It’s not that easy...

Thomas: I know you two have your own thing going on

Thomas: But is it really more important?

Cleo: Thomas! That's crossing the line!

Lilly: OMG you've been around Hannah for too long

Lilly: Last time I checked, MC was the one getting threats, not Hannah

Lilly: Look, you may still not trust Jake, but I do. Those two found Hannah when the rest of us couldn't, don't forget that.

Cleo: Exactly!

Lilly: If you only knew the gravity of what they're going through...

Thomas: If you only understood how much your sister is suffering!

Thomas is offline.

Dan: Why are you flipping sides!?

Lilly: Because maybe they're right, it's time for us to move on

Dan is offline.

Cleo: For crying out loud

Lilly: And that's why I keep telling him no.

Lilly is offline.

Cleo: Well that went swimmingly!

MC: Like ripping bandages off open wounds...

Cleo: We do have to clean the wounds eventually, right?

MC: Yes of course

Cleo: Ok, see you around!

MC: Bye Cleo

Cleo is offline.

I was left again to my thoughts. What Hannah said bothered me. ‘Good riddance'. Of course, to the others it seemed insensitive, but knowing what I knew, maybe it wasn’t. She kept claiming she didn’t know who kidnapped her, but what if she had been lying. Or maybe she couldn’t admit it, especially not to the others. It would’ve been a very difficult thing to say, I couldn’t blame her.

I locked my phone and put it down next to me. I craved reassurance from Jake like nothing else, but I knew how hard he was working. I still couldn’t stop myself from getting up and peeking through the doorway. There he was, so consumed by his work and yet-

“What’s wrong?” he suddenly asked without looking away from his screen. “The group chat has been very active.”

“You haven’t read it?” I questioned.

“I don’t have time to. Just give me a summary,” he replied.

“I removed Jessy and... Richy from the group chat,” I sighed. “Not everyone took it well.”

“It’s about time. Pretty pointless to keep them in the chat,” he responded flatly.

“That’s not all. I think Hannah knows, Jake,” I sighed.

“I find it hard to believe she wouldn’t,” he said unsurprised.

“You told me not to tell her,” I frowned.

“Knowing and acknowledging are two different things, MC. She’s not necessarily lying whenever she says she didn’t recognize her kidnapper. He’s not the person he made himself out to be. It’s better for her to come to terms with it on her own rather than forcing it upon her,” Jake turned to look at me. “Come here.”

He lowered his chair as I inched closer. As soon as I was within reach he pulled me by my hips down to sit across his lap. I leant into him as he tilted my head against his. One of his hands held the back of my neck while his other arm draped over my legs.

“So much for no distractions,” I teased.

“I can’t ignore you when you’re upset,” he sighed. “All I want to do is hold you.”

“That’s all I need,” I smiled.

“Good, because I don’t know what else to do,” he kissed my forehead.

“Can I stay here?” I knew I was being selfish, but being in his arms just felt so comforting that I didn’t want to leave.

“As long as you don’t mind me doing boring work,” he pulled his chair a bit closer to the desk.

“I’m not too distracting?” I looked at him surprised.

“If you keep talking, yes, but if you want to just stay with me and rest, maybe sleep a little, that’s ok,” he caressed my cheek then twisted his head to kiss my lips sensually.

With just one kiss Jake could make the rest of the world disappear like none of it mattered. As he pulled away, I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled up close against him. He shifted in his chair a bit so we'd both sit a bit more comfortably, then he went back to work. My eyelids grew heavy and I let them close so I could just take in his warmth and his smell.

“I love you,” I mumbled without thinking.

Jake kissed me on the forehead again, “I love you too.”

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jake x player #duskwood fanfiction #Haunted by the Past

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doorbloggr · 3 years

Text

Saturday 1/5/21 - The Chad Absurd Confidence; NSP

With the spread of mass media, there's always someone to compare yourself to, and for most of us, that means a daily battle with I'm not good enough, there's so many people so much more talented, better looking, and charismatic than me.

I have struggled with this mentality for the longest time too, and like many others, I tried to cushion the blow by falling back on self depreciating humour. Haha I'm so pathetic. My drawings are so awful lol. Oh my god I'm so cringe, you guys must think my taste in anime is so degenerate.

But recently, I came across a meme on Twitter that has prompted a desire for change in myself.

Knowing you're not godlike but saying it anyway

Part of the draw of The Chad Absurd Self-Confidence Humour is that when you start using it, you know that you're not being serious about it. If I was to say "My last D&D session art is fucking godlike, put this shit in the Louvre next to Mona Lisa, Hirohiko Araki wishes he had my skills", of course I'm not being serious.

None of that is even close to the truth, but if I start saying good things about my creations, I've planted the seed in my mind that some of it might be true. And if other people have negative opinions on me, I've got to counter their arguments with unparalleled confidence that I'm better.

Ross "RubberNinja" O'Donovan's reply to the haters

I haven't taken up this attitude yet, because I have little to no practice with it. To use art as an example again, to improve, you can't just practice in a vacuum, its best to observe other's work and incorporate various techniques to strengthen your own skills.

But where would you look to practise putting yourself on a pedestal of Olympian heights ?

Ultimate Power Fantasy: Danny Sexbang

'Operation "I rule" is a total success!' - Unicorn Wizard, Ninja Sex Party

Ninja Sex Party (NSP) is a comedy rock/synth band by comedy duo Leigh Daniel Avidan and Brian Wecht who play the role of absurdly charismatic characters Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian respectively. As the band's name implies, a lot of their music tells comedic tales of adult nature, often how godly Danny's sexual prowess is.

But Danny Sexbang is never framed as a perfect untouchable sex god, nor is he framed as a pathetic compulsive liar, there is an interesting middle-ground that perfectly encapsulates the absurdist confidence I discussed above.

"It's not just masturbation its an orgy for one, It's a fuckin' celebration it's an orgy for one" - Orgy for One, Ninja Sex Party

The song that prompted me to write this blogpost is Unicorn Wizard, a what-if story about the already amazing Danny becoming a literal super hero wizard. This type of power fantasy song is common among their music, and Dan is portrayed as someone who is definitely not as fantastic as he says, but his confidence surrounds him like a forcefield.

'I think I just dreamed it...' 'How was it? Amazing?' 'Eugh!' 'You mean Eugh-stounding? Yeah you do' - Unicorn Wizard, Ninja Sex Party

Instead of getting down-trodden when confronted with negativity, Ninja Sex Party teaches us to strike back with an unbridled level of confidence. This song isn't the only one we can learn from however.

A good halfway for people who struggle to not belittle themselves, is owning their weaknesses but with passion and confidence. Three Minutes of Ecstasy presents Danny boasting how he can last for three minutes in the bedroom and you should be very thankful for that.

'For one hundred and eighty seconds, The sex will blow your mind' - Three Minutes of Ecstasy, Ninja Sex Party

His lacklustre sexual abilities are played for laughs but its never pointing and laughing at Danny. He is owning that, 3 minutes of ecstasy, several nights a month, is actually for his lover's benefit. It would be dangerous to go any longer or harder because the sex is just that good. Even one's own mediocre abilities can be framed as impressive if you say it the right way.

Cool Patrol, Ninja Sex Party

And then Cool Patrol is a song about believing in yourself and celebrating how amazing you are. Of course in typical NSP fashion, we are shown that the aforementioned 'Cool Patrol' is not hard ass, heavy and hyper masculine, the Cool Patrol does silly dances, makes funny noises, covers themselves in lunch foods and are generally embarrassing. Sure you high-schoolers have leather biker clothes and sunglasses, but I can rub my thighs together and set fire to Mars!

'Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance, This is the Cool Patrol Dance' - Cool Patrol, Ninja Sex Party

But that's ok, confidence is not something given to yourself by others, it has to come from a belief in yourself. What you think is cool is going to be different from other people. Some people think that expensive cars, rap music, and snapbacks are cool. I think watching Vtubers, Monster Hunter, Dungeons and Dragons, and Caramelldansen is cool.

In order for me to truly enjoy myself as person, its not a case of blocking out mine and other's negative opinions of myself, it is accepting that those thoughts exist and providing absurd arguments in the other direction. Because if your response to those negative thoughts are not serious in the slightest, then those negative thoughts too won't be taken seriously.

And maybe eventually you'll come to believe you are truly in fact god-like.

Here's a playlist of confidence boosting Ninja Sex Party Music. Love yourself everyone.

#blogpost #blog #ninja sex party #nsp #positivity

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Note

Whats your favorite song at the moment

Hey Nonny!

Ooof Too many, hahhaha! Because I don’t leave home anymore, I’m not looking constantly for new music to add to my Playlist, so mostly it’s stuff that I come across on Tumblr and is living rent-free in my head on repeat, or me digging on my harddrives for a nostalgia kick.... currently, these are the top 5 cycling in my head, no particular order:

(EDIT IT’S NOW TEN. I COULDN’T CHOOSE. LISTEN TO THEM ALL. THEY’RE ALL AMAZING)

(EDIT 2 SORRY IT’S NOW 15!! NONNY I’M SO SORRY. I know no one cares, but I LOVE sharing my Music with people)

(EDIT 3 *SIGH* Now 20. :| HELP. Stopping before I get carried away. No one ever likes my music so I love when people ask me for my songs with genuine interest)

Nathan Evans - The Wellerman (220 Kid X Billen Ted Remix) (flashing images CW in video!) – Got into the original of this one during the sea shanty trend, and then this dance remix came out... those of you who know me well, know that I am HOOKED on remixes, especially dance remixes. So I was so happy about this official one.

The Kiffness - Ievan Polkka ft. Bilal Göregen (Club Remix) – This one I got into because I think, again, the original with the blind man was trending, and then I found this remix artist on YouTube from his remix of The Wellerman, and his is SOOOO good!! I loved this song back in the early noughts when it was popular as “Leek Spin”. But then these young folks had to go and make it amazing again!!

ZHU, partywithray - Came For The Low – (LOTS OF FLASHING LIGHTS IN VIDEO CW!) Thank Falcon And the Winter Soldier for this one! It took me a WEEK to find out what song they’re playing in the club in Episode 3 when Zemo’s dancing, and YAY I found this finally (not the one hour one, sadly, still trying to find the song D+ Marvel used for that one). I LOVE IT. LISTEN TO IT. SO good if you like heavy club beats

Sim Gretina - A Friend Like Me (Electro Swing Remix) – This is SATISFYING. I LOVE IT. Found it years ago after that homemade Aladdin carpet video was going viral, and every time it comes up on my playlist, I replay it like 6 times.

Linkin Park - Numb (80′s Remix) – That tumblr meme song that went around years ago? HERE YOU ARE!!! :D This is TOO SHORT and it’s also on repeat when I listen to it. Y’all, this is what depression feels like when you’re trying to pretend to be happy all the time LOL. It’s a whole MOOD. This one is great to blast in the car and have people confused at you singing at the top of your lungs. Like, “I AM NUMB AND AN EDGELORD BUT READY TO PARTY!!!”.

One Ton - Supersexworld – Okay, this is an OLLLLLLDDD one by a one-hit wonder Canadian band that I stumbled upon recently when I was going through my hard drives to find new stuff to put onto my iPhone. I was OBSESSED with this song when it first came out, forgot about it, and NOW... SHIT I can’t STOP. This one is BLARING when I hear it, and am so happy I found it again. It’s simple, amazing, and AWESOME. LISTEN TO IT. You will love it. Please. It’s got one verse and one chorus over and over, and it’s catchy as hell. It’s on my personal Johnlock playlist :D

Deorro - Rise and Shine – GUYS. This song. Also on my personal Johnlock Playlist, this one is SOMETHING. First heard it in my BodyPump class, I NEEDED it. It’s SO GOOD. Jazzy Club Music??? YES PLEASE! Video is all kinds of amazing? YES PLEASE. PLEASE listen to this. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (Eiffel 65 Remix) – Is this song a decade old? YES. Has it been on my iPod since it first came out? FUCK YES. Y’all, Eiffel 65 is SO underrated for their remixes. This is one of their best remixes, and it’s the PERFECT walking song. YES I look like an idiot walking to it, but I love it SO MUCH. It’s better than the original, imho.

Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know (Bastian Van Shield Remix) – LOL I KNOW: sacrilege to remix Gotye, but Y’ALL. This is the DEFINITIVE remix of one of his best songs. Six minutes of pure club beats, and just... ANOTHER perfect walking song that you need to SCREAM at the top of your lungs. Also on my personal Playlist, John POV, that I will share eventually.... it makes sense in the song order on the list, I promise LOL)

Tee Lopes - Marble Zone '12 – Tee Lopes is the official composer for Sonic Mania, hired because of all his AMAZING Classic Sonic remixes he did as a hobby on his YouTube channel. This one has a Tango flavour, and it’s SO good and not long enough. There’s an extended version here. Also love his Flying Battery and Ice Cap remixes. If you love video game music remixes like I do, check out his YT channel. There’s a TONNE there and it’s GREAT music to write to.

Aaron Smith - Dancin’ (KRONO Remix) – I dunno where I first heard this one, but I LOVE it. It’s like trancey club music. It’s beautiful, and WORTH a listen.

Pet Shop Boys - I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing [Extended Nude Mix] – Ooooof this one has been on my faves for a LONG time. Originally heard this on the PSB’s album Disco 2, back when their remixes were this good and long and clubby. I miss these so much. If you want a good club beat to thump your car, this is it my friends.

Informätik - A Matter of Time – FUCK ME I love this song. This is the song that made me want to start a Johnlock playlist. I talk more in length about it on this post here, but yeah, I still just.. MM. It’s just so beautiful and is what got me into EBM music in the first place. I listened to this and a lot of their music quite often in college when I was pining over people. Always the pining and never the requited, LOL. I just really love it.

Pride and Fall - Paragon – GUYS. This one is SO good. Trancey EBM and just, UGHGGHHGHGHHHG It gives me so many feels. I’ve loved this song for SO many years, and just, still has to be on every iPod I own. It’s beautiful, and the lyrics are beautiful and I wish I was as beautiful as this song, LOL. Please listen and enjoy. Best bit is a 3:11 :D <3

Rammstein - Mein Teil (Pet Shop Boys Remix) – GUYS. This is one of the greatest collabs of all time. I love both Rammstein AND Pet Shop Boys, and was SO EXCITED when they remixed this song for the single. This is the better of the two remixes PSB did for them, and YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IT. PURE CLUB BLISS. This is the PSB in their remixing best!!!! <3 Plus, it’s SUPER WEIRD to hear these angry Germans backing a club beat, I LOVE IT. Also, it’s literally a song about a true story of literally eating a dick, so.... *shrugs*

Pet Shop Boys - Love Etc. (PSB Mix) – Y’ALL. This is 6 minutes of LITERAL dance music BLISS. A fantastic remix of one of my fave songs from the PSB, which is essentially shitting on the materialism of relationships. And I love this one, it’s a great work out and car song. Honestly PLEASE listen to it.

Apoptygma Berzerk - Kathy’s Song (Beborn Beton Remix) – GUYYYYYYYYYsSSSS I love this song so much. The original is much slower, and I discovered Beborn Beton FROM this song (another great artist, check them out). This song is just, a great dance song, and just makes me scream out when I hear it. Full volume, beautiful song, beautiful lyrics. It’s my Android!lock headcanon song, but it is also on my JL Personal Playlist, LOL.

Darude vs. Robert Miles - Children of the Sandstorm – One of the BEST MASHUPS in the world, and I am CERTAIN it is an official one; I was obsessed with mashups when I was in college so I have a TONNE of them, but this one has always been a fave, and I still jam to it over a decade later. Seriously, these songs SEAMLESSLY blend together, it’s fantastic. Classic club and trance? HELLS YES.

Eminem - Nobody Listen to Techno (Deep Dish Mix) – Another nostalgia hit for me. Is it pointless? Not if I enjoy it!! I LOVE this song. Deep Dish mixes were THE JAM in my college years, and like, this is just 9 minutes of PURE techno with some of his song “Without Me” sampled throughout. I LOVE IT. SO MUCH. This is a banger, and just, if you need music to listen to while driving or writing, this is one for you!!

Rammstein feat. Sharleen Spiteri - Stirb Nicht Vor Mir (Don't Die Before I Do) – And to bring the mood WAYYY down, did you know Rammstein did a love song? A beautiful, moves-me-to-tears love song? Because I did and it’s one of my FAVE songs by them. It’s SO beautiful, and the Till’s harsh voice WORKS for it. It’s gentle and soothing. It’s a German/English duet, and it makes me nearly cry EVERY TIME. Because I imagine John and Sherlock and then I die inside LOL. It’s so beautiful and I listen to this one years after it was released. Look up the translation, it is so beautiful.

AND if you guys happen to like any of these songs, copy the youtube video link and use this :)

Most of these that aren’t silly are on my Johnlock playlist, so do give the latter songs a listen! <3 I’m sorry for adding more than five... I just really love sharing things with you guys I like because I’m so lonely, LOL.

If any of y’all are playing these and trying to pick me up, *finger guns* Let’s go get cake and jam :D

AHH I like when I get asks like this! Sorry I took so long Nonny, but I just kept ADDING to it, as you can see. Had to stop because I could keep going.

#steph replies #my playlist #fave songs #music #happy posts #chatting with nonnies #Anonymous #i want more asks like this hee hee #ask me anything

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Text

last line tag meme

well dang, I was contemplating doing this with my many wips but now I got tagged by @dolston17 so I can’t say no can I???

post a sneak peak from a WIP (favorite/last line/almost abandoned, dealer’s choice lol)

okay so yeah I got... 3 actually active WIPs that I’m working on and one that is... absolute crackfic but I’ve put 5k words into it so I have to finish it someday? so you’re getting a snippet from all of them

1 - Better Luck Next Time, Johnny (not really the title)

(can’t give you the last line of this because it’s uuuuh filth but there is some silly flirting before that I really like)

“Didn’t I tell you this isn’t a good place for you last time?”

His voice is far more teasing and playful than it is worried and reprimanding, and she understands that they’re probably being listened to. She tries to put the same amount of flirting into her answer.

“I really don’t like being told what to do, Johnny.”

There’s a twitch in his eyebrow she knows all too well, and the smallest hint of a smile as he bites his lower lip and leans over a bit more, his eyes raking over her in that dress, and maybe Kylie wasn’t quite so wrong to convince her to buy it.

“I highly doubt it, Dora.” His low voice isn’t at sultry-level yet, but it still has her squeezing her thighs together without even wanting to. “I rather think you like exactly that. Which is why you came back, hm?” He twirls a loose strand of her hair around his finger and pulls ever so slightly, and she has to bite her lip now to hide her smile.

“So you’re going to be a good girl”, he continues, and he’s definitely at sultry now, “and go get yourself out of here.”

-+-

2. - I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your life (yeah I’m that song-line kind of writer bitch)

(this is the start of the WIP but there’s actually a lot happening before it that I haven’t written yet)

"What are you thinking?"

"It's cheesy."

"Lemme be the judge of that."

A pause. Amy is smiling at him, softly, but with the slightest hint of mischief. It will never not take his breath away, that particular smile. He knows exactly what it means.

"I was thinking…" he begins, and his voice is raspy, far too raspy for only a few kisses. But he finds that he doesn't mind, as his hands stroke down her sides so tentatively he can see her shiver above him.

"Goddess." he finally whispers in that same raspy tone, and watches Amy's eyes grow wide and her body still. Only for a few seconds, before she catches herself and smiles again.

"Definitely cheesy." She judges, but leans forward to kiss him all the same, and the kiss tells him she's happier about it than she'll admit. "Which one?" he hears her mumbling against his lips, and he hums while thinking.

-+-

3. Five things I can’t hate about you (yes I am also that bad movie-reference kinda writer bitch)

this is a long last ‘line’ but it’s also the most active WIP I have and I really like this whole scene

They don’t speak for the maybe ten or fifteen minutes spent sitting in the darkened room. He doesn’t ask - doesn’t prod - doesn’t demand an explanation or more information or anything, really, not the way she’s used to from anyone else who’s actually figured out that she’s having some sort of attack, and she’s glad for it. She will explain it all, later, probably alongside the written thank you note he’s definitely going to get because that is the proper way to do it, even if he will make jokes about it. But right now, she’s thankful for the silence that doesn’t feel threatening at all, for the warmth of his hand and the calm of his thumb still rubbing across her skin.

They let go when she stands up, squaring her shoulders as he rises next to her.

“Ready?” He asks with his usual grin and she returns it with a small smile and a nod before he opens the door for her and sneaks her out unnoticed the same way he brought her in.

She mingles. She makes connections. She even gets to tell a few stories that make a group of captains laugh around her, but the laugh she hears the most is right next to her and very familiar by now.

He keeps handing her canapés from the trays of passing waiters (he’s a pro at spotting free food, obviously) and makes silly jokes next to her without ever stealing the spotlight or embarrassing her like he usually would. She notes a glass of orange juice in his hand whenever he hands her her own refill, and when Terry leaves early to see his family and asks if he needs a ride home, he declines.

And when the evening finally slows and the hall begins to empty, she walks with him to his dingy old car in the garage and gets in without another question, falling half-asleep during the ride back to her place.

She puts a coffee down on his desk with the thank you note tucked underneath it the next day, and tries not to blush when he comes in 15 minutes late with her coffee order in hand. The day is spent teasing her about the note in between his actual work, of course, but she sees it pinned between his knicknacks when she actually leaves on time in the evening.

It’s surprising that besides his actually funny jokes, he can make her smile with the strangest little things.

-+-

4. The Florida Menagerie

(a crackfic turned emotional turned back to crack and I genuinely have no plan how to end it so it’s been sitting for months now.. if you can correctly identify the ‘pets’... go you, I guess? there’s not really a prize I can offer.)

After that, the code was well-established. They met at their fences far more often while watering the lawn or, in Jake’s case, enjoying the hot tub the way it was meant to be enjoyed, without tears or burritos in sight. They would greet each other, maybe exchange pleasantries for a moment, and then Holt would inquire about his pets. And Jake was more than happy to answer.

“Oh, god, Goose and Foxglove got into such a fight last night. I almost thought I had to save Goose from it. But they made up this morning, I think.” “Big Bird isn’t really used to the new cage he got. Might be a bit too big for him, even. But I keep the door open and everyone’s been keeping him calm.” “The Nomster has found a new favourite food. He keeps trying to share it with the Pizza Pockets, but no takers. And I mean, they will eat everything.” “Foxglove and Peanuts keep bringing in so many dead mice and birds. Just, constantly on the hunt. It’s like they have a competition going.” “Stilton’s doing okay, I think. Getting used to me still. He keeps quoting my classic movie collection, so I think he’s learning from the best.”

It wasn’t much, it never was. But it was more than enough.

And as he watched Larry muse about the wonderful feeling of Peanuts cuddling up to him when he felt bad at night, or sniff a little about how she was so smart and always knew how to make his day better, he could see Jake Peralta come back into his own again, and he felt as if Raymond Holt was right there to join him, hearing about Stilton and Goose getting along so well they often shared a cage and their meal together, or Stilton throwing his pebbles at Peanuts who was apparently happy to snack on them.

It wasn’t much, but it was all they could get, and as such, it was wonderful.

Until it stopped.

#I actually have more WIPs but they're mainly abandoned #and I'm not gonna tease you all with bits of something I'll probably never finish #my writing

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